Bob's Daily Step Forward

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Since starting here at NF, I've realized that I've made myself a wonderful quest list, full of ambitious goals, that will hopefully lead me to a path of a healthy and active lifestyle.  And yet, every day, I seem to be spinning my wheels a bit too much, and not putting enough effort into achieving the goals I set for myself.  I'm focusing on the wrong things, and my quests aren't getting completed as well as they should be.

WELL NO MORE!!!

Today I begin posting in this thread, EVERY DAY, with news of my daily accomplishments, and the steps I've taken towards completing my goals.  Whether I'm bettering my health, advancing my career, or just doing crazy shit that scares me, not a day will go by without me posting in this thread!

LET'S DO THIS!!!

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 8, 2016

 

Walked barefoot to work again.  Walking around downtown is getting more comfortable, although I could do without the weird looks I get from people.  Eh, screw 'em.  I just get to enjoy the warm sidewalks more.  I feel kinda bad for them; they're missing out on a whole new sensation, just waiting to be experienced.  I can't wait to try walking barefoot in new places.  Maybe the road up to Mt. Tabor park.

 

No workout this morning, but next week I plan to do more in the mornings; not just calisthenics, but Parkour training.  I can't wait to get back to crawling and vaulting.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 10, 2016

 

Are worse than I should have this weekend. I also had an energy drink Friday night. Shame on me, I know. However, I had a good weekend. It felt good to eat with family and get stuff done. Looking forward to working out tomorrow.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 11, 2016

 

Had a fantastic bodyweight workout this morning.  I beat my PR on all my exercises except for one (damn leg lifts).  However, as I was stretching post-workout, I pulled something in the right side of my neck.  Now it hurts to tilt my head that direction.  Hopefully, a little ibuprofen and some Tiger Balm will help.  I've really started hitting my stride, and I don't want to slow down.

Eating healthy today and tonight, and I'm making steps in completing all of my goals.  I'm happy.  Life is... actually pretty good right now.

Fuck me, it's been a while since I've actually felt that...

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 13, 2016

 

Okay clearly updating this log every damn day is more of a struggle than I can bear.  Still, I will do my best to keep up with it.

So my neck has still been fucking hurting for the past 2 fucking days.  Why yes, I am fucking pissed about it.  How could you tell?  I mean I over-strained it by stretching it.  Not by doing crazy shit, not by rolling or flipping, not by riding a skateboard or something.  No, from fucking stretching.  It really knocked me out all day Monday and Tuesday, and made me realize that, once again, I'm trying to take on more than I can handle.  If I want to advance both my health, and my career, I need to make time for both in the morning.  So, for now, I'll be doing bodyweight training 2 days a week, Parkour training for one, and the other 2 weekdays will be for career advancement.

I also made the mistake of weighing myself in the middle of the week, and I know nothing good can come from that.  It makes me feel like I'm not making enough progress, even if I still am.  Sometimes I really want to quit.  I mean, just say fuck it, get a bag of chips, crawl into a hole, and be happy.  But no, not this time.  Yes I get discouraged, but I don't give up.  I'm fighting back life, and making my own story.

Bodyweight training tomorrow.  I'll be back with more details.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 15, 2016

 

So after finally healing my neck a little more, I finished my second bodyweight workout for the week.  In addition, I knocked out another side quest, and walked barefoot to the park (about 1/8 mile), and did my workout completely barefoot.  I left for the park at 5:30 in the morning.  It was cold, it was wet, it was cold, it was dark, it was cold, it was uncomfortable, and oh, did I mention it was fucking cold?!?  There were several times I didn't think I was going to make it, all throughout the morning.  There were tiny rocks everywhere, and I could feel my feet go physically numb, to the point where it felt I was walking on Jello rather than the flesh of my footsies.  But still, I pressed on, completed my routine, and beat ALL of my PR's.  I can't wait to start switching up my exercises next week.

 

I may do another workout barefoot, but it won't be for a while.  Walking barefoot in the dark is something I can live without, especially when you're trying to avoid stepping in dog shit.  For now, I'll just continue walking barefoot to/from work.

I feel good.  Real good.  Good day today.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 19, 2016

 

Worked out this morning, and I beat ALL my PR's once again.  If I can keep this up for the next 2 weeks, I can start adding more sets, and more reps.  I feel like I'm starting to get back into the flow of everything, when your body starts recovering faster, and your start finding your groove.  Feels good man.

I'm also FINALLY utilizing my Fit Bit, and have started tracking my food.  If you have the tools for success, you'd be a fool not to use them right?  I think this will help me tremendously with knowing if I'm burning more than I'm eating.

Parkour training coming soon.  I can't wait to start climbing on stuff.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

April 22, 2016
 

Story time.

So I stayed at work for an extra 45 minutes yesterday, and while that doesn't seem like that big of a deal, you have to realize that my commute is 1.5 hours one way. Plus, the later in the day it is, the longer it takes to get home. The extra work I did was quoting a project for a client, and to make a long story short, the extra work I did saved the client $6. That's right, 45 minutes of my time was worth $6.

Mad? Who me? No, I wasn't mad. Mad doesn't even begin to describe the anger of a thousand erupting volcanoes inside me, with molten rock and fire falling from the sky, with a rage that burns so fucking hot I could tear Cthulhu's fucking head off (no offense to all you cultists out there). Left at 6:00 PM, and by the time I got home, it was 8:00 PM. Raged, tired, hungry, and defeated, I slammed a simple protein shake, and went to bed.

Having slept through my alarm, I woke up around 6:00, 45 minutes behind schedule for my workout. I knew that I wouldn't have enough time to exercise without being late to work. So a shitty night, turns into a shitty morning. Yay. Just yay.

But then I figured fuck it. Just, fuck it. FUCK IT! I don't care if I'm late. I'm taking my life back, and no one is going to stop me from reaching my goals. If I'm gonna die in 50 years, I want to be remembered for having a strong body, and a stronger will, not for the hours I wasted in a fucking cubicle. I kinda hoped someone would try to stop me, because I had a LOT of stress to workout, and I needed all the obstacles I could get. So, I got up, got dressed, went to my usual park, and had a lovely workout outside in the rain. Yes, I said in the rain. While you were lifting weights in a dry gym with a TV, I was out beating my PR in squats, bridges, shoulder presses, FUCKING EVERYTHING! I had so much fun; I love working out in the rain. Hell, I'd workout in a thunder storm if I could.

Good day today.  No, GREAT day today.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

May 8, 2016

Hiked 5 miles barefoot today.  Man that was intense.  On those gravel paths, I've never wanted to crawl on my hands and knees so much, just to take the pressure off my feet.

 

Good times.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

So, after some fine crafting, I've added a homemade ruck-plate to my backpack, increasing the weight by 25 lbs.  It's certainly made my daily commute a little more challenging.  Plus, if I'm ever at the stop, the thing's heavy enough I could do curls with it, or shoulder presses.  Screw the weird looks I'll get.  I live in Portland.  Weird shit happens here on a weekly basis.

Had my first workout this morning with homemade sandbag, or "pain burrito" as some guys on the NFMG call it.  I really didn't leave enough room for the sand to move around, so it feel like 2 solid wood blocks in a bag.  Whatever, I can hang.  It'll just take a little time for my chest and shoulders to get use to the hardness of it.

So, I was planning on cooking white bean turkey chili tonight, until I realized it takes at least 2 hours to make, and I won't be home until 6:00.  I'm not making my wife wait until 8:00 at night to eat dinner.  I'll have to cook something else, but I don't know what.  I'm going to try to plan ahead, but I don't know what to expect

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Yeah no cooking last night.

Got home, felt tired, decided to order food, which was a cop out I know.  I felt bad about it, but I'm not letting it slow me down.  I'll cook this Friday and Sunday still.  Sunday is chili, and I'm hoping it turns out well.

Also, didn't work out this morning, so I'll be rucking on my lunch break.  Perhaps 5/7 days a week for working out was a little bit of a high expectation, but I'll still roll with it.  I'd like to be used to doing it everyday, but I know that takes time.  Jumping into it out of the blue is a recipe for disaster.  Still, I'm not sore from lifting my "pain burrito" yesterday, and I'm excited to create a Parkour workout that'll exercise my entire body.  I checked out the Urban Freeflow website, and apparently I'm supposed to be doing Parkour every day.  Every.  Day.  How intense is that?  I guess if you want to get good at something, you make time for it.  I want to, but that is going to be really difficult.  Sounds like a quest for next month maybe...

 

I've scheduled myself for an acupuncture treatment on July 30th.  I just need to fill out some paperwork, and I'll be ready to go.  Truth me told, I'm not really nervous.  I'm used to being around needles (donating blood and getting tattoos helps with that).  I'm just curious as to how it will feel.  Whenever I see a needle, my brain goes "Okay, they're holding a needle.  I need to prepare myself for pain."  And yet, this is supposed to alleviate pain (look at me using big words heeeeeee).  I'm really curious as to how it's going to feel.  Good I hope.  I went through my entire life never knowing was a massage felt like until last year, and it was better than sex, booze, and caffeine combined.  Hopefully this will top it.

I've also submitted one graphic design piece to a "client".  They haven't replied back yet, so I don't know if it counts... Probably not.  I'll need to keep myself busy if I want to complete all these quests

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Friday, July 23, 2016

Missed my fucking workout this morning.

I don't get it.  I got a good night sleep, set up my clothes for tomorrow, and was ready to go.  Slept right through my alarm, and my schedule is so tight, I can't afford to miss much time.  So now I feel like shit, I don't want to be at work, I didn't have lunch so I bought a can of processed chili, and did I mention I feel like shit?  I know there's supposed to be ups and downs on this journey, but it seems like I've only been hitting downs, and it's pissing me off.  

I guess the word "meh" is what I'm feeling right now.  I'm just... not feeling it today, and I hate that.  Maybe I did set myself up for failure with working out 5 days a week, but it's not fair.  My budget's too fucking tight, my time is stretched, aaaaaaaaaaaaaand no one's reading this shit anyways, so I'm going to stop complaining.

Cooking homemade hamburger helper tonight.  Hope it goes well.

Tomorrow's my wedding anniversary.  5 years.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

 

I know it's been a while since I've written in this thread.  I guess you can't really call it a respawn if you're not doing anything.  Glad I'm doing something now.

 

I lost my way for a while.  Not sight of my goals necessarily, just the path I needed to accomplish them.  I'm going strictly bodyweight exercising.  No more fussing with random equipment, or waffling over if I want to join a gym.  It'll be me and gravity, nothing else.

Went jogging yesterday, for the first time in about a year.  Not really jogging per se, but more like interval training (walking, jogging, and sprinting).  On the plus side, my old running shoes still fit.  Downside:  The back of them is chewed all to hell, and I ended up scratching the hell out of my skin on my left Achilles.  That, and it's a high profile shoe (raised heel), and I know the damage it'll do to my legs and back if I don't switch it out.  I've got a little extra money right now, so it's back to Feiyues.  I might get a size larger than what I normally do though.

 

I'm back to tracking my food again, and yes, I am grumbling about that.  In the end though, I know it has to be done.  There's no better way to show you what you're eating, and where the problem areas are.  I need to start cooking a whole lot more as well.

 

Missed my workout this morning.  Fitbit makes a nice product, but their silent alarm does not work on me.  I'm going to have to switch back to my general alarm clock if I'm going to get up at 5:00 AM.  Honestly, I have to.  There's no other time in the day I can workout.  Although I'm trying to work on other "shortcuts" around this.  I remember I used to lose a lot of weight when I was exercising in my cubicle at Nintendo.  I probably won't go to that much of an extreme, but little exercises throughout the day will help.  It reminded me of when I messaged the guys at Urban Freeflow, a Parkour group in the UK.  Their approach is to train everyday.  Yes, EVERY DAY, for at least 20 minutes.  You feel like walking?  Go walk.  You feel like balancing drills, QM, or any other drill, go do.  This is another reason I'm getting back into bodyweight training; you can workout whenever, wherever.  Go play, go experiment, and go have fun.  I need to get out of the mindset that fitness is doing a set routine for an hour, and calling it a day.  Lack of creativity leads to routine, and routine leads to boredom.  Maybe it works for some, but not for me.

I'm gonna order my new shoes tonight.  Hopefully they'll last longer than 3 months.  I'm... not happy right now.  My morning was actually pretty gray (which I blame on missing my workout).  But, I'm on the right path, and I'm making changes.  I hope I can keep this self-discipline going.

By the way, anyone can view my food log below if they want.

 

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/food/diary/lindsrobe

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Tuesday, September 20, 2016

 

Update on Bob's health.

So I lost weight... Somehow. I don't really know. I didn't exactly eat healthy over the weekend. I guess measuring my caloric intake really has been helping. I know I'm probably over my head when it comes to the things I want to do, versus the things I'm capable of. Anyone who knows me well enough knows that I have a bad habit of biting off more than I can chew. I want to get back into Parkour training so bad, but I'm way too heavy for most of it. Right now I could probably do simple balancing drills. And if that's all I'm capable of, then that's what I'm going to do.

Walked a little bit this morning. This is probably going to become a regular thing, as interval training really kicked my ass, and I was sore for way longer than I should've been. Having all this extra weight makes it harder to get outta bed in the morning. I'd have to get up at 5:00 AM to get in a good workout, and doing that while getting enough sleep is a pain in the padded ass. But I'd rather walk a little more in the mornings, then miss out on everything. I'm okay with walking in the morning. You walk until you can jog, then jog until you can run, then run until you can fly. I know I have a long way to go, but I've gotten myself into the right mindset at least.

Life is not about what you can't do. Hell it's not even about what you can do.

It's about what you're willing to do

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

I'm nearly under 400 lbs. I'm slowly gaining steam, and am finally starting to live well again. I'm on the right track, and more than anything, I'm finally starting to smile more. I'm tired, I'm sore, and I'm happy.

I'm also working out smarter. I've switched to doing small exercises throughout the day, rather than all in one big splurge. I can't keep kidding myself into thinking I can wake up at 5:00 AM to go workout anymore. 6:00 AM is much more manageable, plus I can still get a good night's sleep in. Granted I'm working out on the street, but I prefer it that way. More fresh air, and not as crowded as any gym.

It's been 2 weeks since I've drank any soda, or ate at a drive-thru.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Sunday Night, October 2, 2016

 

I made it a personal challenge that I would walk over 25,000 steps in a day. So, after a morning walk/workout, and helping my friend move, I still had about 5,000 steps to go. I finished it at around 11:30 at night, but yeah, I made it. God bless my wife, who supports me in so many ways.

I've been getting stronger lately. I've been continuing my workouts throughout the day, and it's helped a lot. The most challenging part is my diet, though I'm feeling less guilty for eating food that unhealthy. You can sulk, or you can enjoy the food you ate, and keep going. I'm trying to be more positive about this. I mean, life shouldn't be about reaching a number. Besides, I know my weight doesn't account for my body fat percentage. Although once I lose enough wait, I will be purchasing a BFP monitor; a little loot for reaching a milestone. I still plan to get my weight down all the way to 200 lbs., though I don't know how long I'll keep it there. 200 is a mark I've wanted to do throughout my life, and I'll be happy when I reach it, but an ideal weight for me would probably be around 220. We'll see what happens.

So keep on smilin' people, and know if you're looking to make any changes in your life, I got your back.

 

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Wednesday, October 6, 2016

 

As of right now, I've lost 10 lbs, and I'm back under 400 lbs. I actually achieved that last Thursday, but I figured 2 updates in a row would be overkill.

I cooked a Vietnamese steak with rice and pickled vegetable salad last night.  Good stuff.  So tired.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Monday, October 10, 2016

First off, never underestimate the power of a good pair of shoes. And i don't mean expensive. I mean something you're used to, and you feel comfortable in. I bought a pair of Feiyues a week ago, and broke them in last weekend. I missed these little puppies; minimalist design, super cheap, and comfortable as well. These are the everything shoe in my opinion. Very happy about that.

Went Parkour training yesterday, for the first time in over a year. My relationship with gravity has been complicated, and doing Parkour is hard for a man of my size. I can barely, BARELY do the intro moves (safety vault, Google it). However, it felt good to get out and move, and get out of my comfort zone a little bit. I was actually supposed to meet with a group, but only one guy showed up. He was 10 years younger than me, and much more athletic than I was. What was interesting is as we started talking, he started asking ME for advice. I found myself giving tips on moves I couldn't do. At some point he asked me if I was a personal trainer. I have to admit, it really caught me off guard.

I've been plateauing for the past few days, which is okay I guess. I'm learning it's getting really hard to trust the scale. Seriously, I weighed myself this morning, and came up with 3 different numbers. I'm hoping after I burn off a little more body fat, and purchase a BMI indicator, it'll give me a more accurate number for whether or not I'm making good progress.

Love you all. Stay strong.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Monday, October 17, 2016

Update on Bob's health.
 

First off, what the fuck?  I was promised a storm of epic proportions, with some of the worst wind and rain the Pacific Northwest has seen in 50 years.  And what do we get?  Screwed over, that's what.  Heavy rain for 15 minutes, and the power flickering twice.  I guess my goals of working out during a storm will have to wait.  Again.
 

On the plus side, as of last Friday I'm at 390.4 lbs.  I'm so close to my first milestone of 375.  Consistency and vigilance are what's going to help me conquer this.  That, and the whole eating right and exercising thing.
 

It's been over 30 days since I've drank any soda, or eaten at a drive-thru.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Saturday, October 22, 2016
 

So guys, I don't normally like to toot my own horn, but this has been one of the best challenge months I've ever had. I've worked out nearly everyday, I've been doing more cooking, I donated all my possessions I didn't need anymore, I've handed out 110 homeless kits (and then some), I haven't had any chips or candy for 4 weeks, and tonight, I walk barefoot on broken glass. This has been one of the best months I've had since I joined the NFA. This is why success feels like. This is what joy feels like. You guys rock.

Since I got my shit together, I've lost a total of 18.4 lbs. and 15" in body size. I gained inches in my quads and biceps, and lost everywhere else. Tracking my food has really been helping me. But I also need to give thanks to my wife, who helps me realize that sometimes I don't need to give up the things I love to be healthy. She's my rock, and I'm so happy to have her in my life.
 

Next month is going to be interesting. I plan on focusing my daily exercise routines, and trying new things. I want to incorporate more Parkour training, and really focus on quadrupedal movement. I want that to be my focus, because it is so good for you, and it's incredibly fun. A good balance between bodyweight strength training, Parkour training, and the occasional jog will be all I need.
 

I also want to thank you all for supporting me. I appreciate it. It's hard for me to notice any changes that aren't in numbers on a screen. I look in the mirror, and it seems like nothing has changed, 'cept for longer hair. I'll keep everyone up to date with my progress, and I hope my actions encourage you to overcome whatever challenges might be in your life.
 

Have a good weekend.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Humpday, October 26, 2016

 

Update on Bob's health:

 

Ate like crap last night.  Actually, all day yesterday, to no one's fault but my own.  The combination of not enough sleep, not enough caffeine, a busy day, and just a sprinkle of apathy meant I didn't really care what I ate, and I ended up going over my calorie limit.  Am I upset by it?  No, because I've learned when it comes to personal health you will fail at times, and beating yourself up over it only makes it worse.

 

Curious though I checked my log on my Fitbit account the last time I was around the weight I am, and that's also the time I feel apart and gained all my weight back.  I knew all this shit seemed familiar to me.  This time, I'm breaking the cycle, and getting back on track.  Well I eat unhealthy again?  Oh you bet your ass I will.  But if you're on the same journey I am it's never in a single direction.  Your willpower isn't a skill, or even a power at all.  It's a finite resource, and you need to be prepared for when it runs out.  Because you're going to REALLY want that cookie, and learning not to beat yourself up over it will be better for everyone in the long run.

 

So what the hell am I trying to say?  Learn to fail, track your progress (in ways besides your relationship with gravity too), stay determined and vigilant, and every once and while, go eat a cookie.

 

...

 

Okay maybe 2 or 3.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Tuesday, November 1, 2016
 

I don't think people realize sometimes how easy it is to give up.  There isn't a week that goes by where I find myself contemplating crawling into a bag of Doritos, and getting all snuggly.  I know that's not an option anymore, mostly due to the fact that I've switched to the smaller, 1-serving size bags, and there's no way I could fit in one of those.
 

I've finally started incorporating bodyweight exercises back into my daily schedule, with small workouts in the morning, at the office, and once back at home in the evening.  This week will be a little crazy for that, but I'm ready for it.  At least, I hope so.  Yesterday was a crazy day when it came to food, time management, and... Well, everything.  I'm realizing more and more that if I want to be successful in my goals, I need to better prepare for tomorrow.  I've always been a guy who lives in the present - a guy who's used to stopping and smelling the roses, and while it's a relatively stress-free way to live, it goes all to hell when the shit hits the fan.  So, enjoy the day, and prepare for tomorrow.
 

I won't be weighing myself for a while.  I've gotten a little off track with my eating, and the last thing I need on my mind is how much I've put back on.  I'll let everyone know how it goes in a few weeks.  For now, push-ups, squats, and curls.

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Monday, November 7th, 2016

 

Time for some good news/bad news.  On the plus side, like I said earlier, I nailed on my stranger quests in one day last weekend.  Turns out opening up to people isn't all that hard.  It's just a little exhausting.  Down side, the 15 minute daily primal squat challenge is a wash.  Either I have bad form, or I'm just too damn heavy for it, but it's not working.  I'll be swapping out primal squatting for simple, full-body stretching (for now).

 

Speaking of last weekend, I ate a lot of bad food.  I thought I was going over my calorie limit, but it turns after syncing my Fitbit, I actually wasn't that far over.  If anything I didn't gain or lose anything, but like I said in my last post, I won't be weighing myself until the first of December.    It's driving me nuts not knowing, but I need to be able to measure progress besides just my relationship with gravity.

 

Bodyweight exercises have been going well.  I've been steadily making progress, and with such short bursts of activity, I've been able to keep a steady pace.  It's good knowing that I can make progress without a gym.  Plus, with New Year's Day right around the corner, I won't need to share space/equipment with all the resolutioners.  Nobody working out in parks in January.  That space is all mine baby.

 

So here's to more protein shakes, push-ups, and cheek-to-cheek smiles.  I'll catch you guys later this week

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Tuesday, November 22nd, 2016

I know it's been a while since I ran an update, mostly due to the fact that everything went to hell. I fell off the wagon - hard. I ate drive-thru, I drank soda, and I stopped giving a fuck. Needless to say it's been a rough few weeks. I'm going to fail most of my challenges this month. Still, I trundle on, getting my shit together, eating healthier, and getting into the habit of moving again.

So why make a post that so depressing, so gloomy? To show you what discipline looks like. I may be tired, sore, broke, and under-caffeinated, but I'm stronger today than I was yesterday.

That's it for now. Hopefully in my next update I'll have something worth celebrating

[Bob the Bardbarian]

Wednesday, January 4th, 2017

 

So it's been... a month has it?  Well probably for good reason.

 

... Actually no.  Not fucking good at all.  I fell off the wagon again, and I fell hard.  Christmas came and went, and in the end, I was left wondering just what the hell I was going to do next.  The path I had set up for myself wasn't working, and I needed something different.

 

...... Okay honestly, I've already written all this shit out, and I don't want to write it out again.  If anyone reading this wants to know why I've suddenly gone from barbarian to bard, just check out my #1 challenge.

 

So instead, let's talk about today (and a little bit of yesterday), shall we?

 

The first couple of days getting back on the wagon are the easy ones.  Starting new habits is easy.  It's keeping your new ones while breaking the old ones that's the pain in the padded ass.  But, we're taking things slowly, small steps, with little victories.  Right now, I'm just eating better, and walking.  A good start.  However, I will be incorporating some parkour training into my routine soon.  I received 'Parkour Strength Training' by Ben Musholt for Christmas, and I plan to make good use out of it.  It's time for me to buckle down, and do what I love to do, even if I can't do it for very long every day.

 

I'll be 33 later this month.  I'm... not happy.  Maybe content?  Hopeful?  I'm looking forward to today and tomorrow, because I do have a good life, and I'm blessed with so much.  I don't want to change who I am.  I just want to be a better version.

 

So... If anyone is actually reading this, thanks.  I hope I inspire someone out there to reach for their goals.  Until next time, keep your chin up, and carpe the hell out of every diem.