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This is why I personally can't do absolutes. If I don't allow myself any, ever, I will break and eat all the things. I just need to be smart about it. No white bread slices or heros (my kryptonite), but pitas are cool. No white rice, but brown rice is alright every once in a while. Natural sugars are ok, but minimal refined stuff. 

And in this existence, I'll stay persistent

And I'll make a difference, and I will have lived it- MFTP

 

Battle Log

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Absolutes are impossible for me as well. As porchcricket13 said above, I simply limit it. No more than 1 dessert/day (I don't always have it either, and it's always something small), Limit of 4 carb/bread based things each day (rice, bread, granola bars, naan, ect). There are things I've had to put my foot down on though. I can't allow goldfish crackers in my house, for example. My normal daily food intake looks like this right now:

 

Breakfast: egg muffin/mini quiche, fruit(apples, applesauce, cuties, ect), sausage link, slice of homemade wheat bread (I bake bread weekly)

Lunch: Meat sandwich, fruit, cheese stick, granola bar(protein heavy and fiber heavy)

Dinner: Broccoli, Chicken, Brown Rice, and Cheese dish (Or other precooked main dish- last week it was meatloaf with naan and a mix of peas and carrots)

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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This is why I personally can't do absolutes. If I don't allow myself any, ever, I will break and eat all the things. I just need to be smart about it. No white bread slices or heros (my kryptonite), but pitas are cool. No white rice, but brown rice is alright every once in a while. Natural sugars are ok, but minimal refined stuff. 

That's part of why I am so upset with myself. I do allow small amounts of it, but every week, or so, I just lose it. Usually on Saturday or Sunday night. I'll go on a not-quite-the-level-to-call-it-a-technical-binge binge, and eat a load of food. I can't seem to control myself at the time. I will keep eating until my target is gone, regardless of how much it is. Last night was half a bag of chocolate morsels, about a cup of whipped cream, and all the stuff before. The silver lining is that I believe I'm out of dark chocolate morsels.

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That's part of why I am so upset with myself. I do allow small amounts of it, but every week, or so, I just lose it. Usually on Saturday or Sunday night. I'll go on a not-quite-the-level-to-call-it-a-technical-binge binge, and eat a load of food. I can't seem to control myself at the time. I will keep eating until my target is gone, regardless of how much it is. Last night was half a bag of chocolate morsels, about a cup of whipped cream, and all the stuff before. The silver lining is that I believe I'm out of dark chocolate morsels.

If it's not an everyday thing, you're probably not in terrible shape. One bad meal a week won't kill you, and minimizing how often you eat like that is a good step. I am unfortunately well versed in this particular problem- I deal with it constantly. It's usually related to eating and reading or emotional eating. One good start is to try to limit it to once a week. Then once every two weeks, then once a month. Once a month definitely won't derail you. I'm still trying to work on my eating habits

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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If it's not an everyday thing, you're probably not in terrible shape. One bad meal a week won't kill you, and minimizing how often you eat like that is a good step. I am unfortunately well versed in this particular problem- I deal with it constantly. It's usually related to eating and reading or emotional eating. One good start is to try to limit it to once a week. Then once every two weeks, then once a month. Once a month definitely won't derail you. I'm still trying to work on my eating habits

Well, part of it is that it's hard to predict. It usually happens on the weekend, but that's all I've got.

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Well, part of it is that it's hard to predict. It usually happens on the weekend, but that's all I've got.

Is there a specific trigger for it? If you're unsure, that could be what you focus on next. Trying to figure out why this occurs, and address the source. Like I said, mine is emotional eating and/or eating while reading a book. Sometimes, days when I didn't get enough food during breakfast and lunch leads to bingeing at dinner. When this sort of thing happens, write down (or type out into a note on your phone) how you feel- the feeling that's driving you to eat. Are you bored? Are you tired? Have you eaten enough that day?

 

For me, addressing the source helped. I'm slowly working on the underlying problems. Emphasis on slowly as the book/eating thing is a serious issue.

Grey Jedi Ranger

Jedi Becomes Her Own Hero

Jedi Battle Log

“Keep Calm, Carry On, and Don't Freeze Up!”

- Oboro Shirakumo (Loud Cloud), My Hero Academia Vigilantes

Challenges: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, #10#11#12#13#14#15#16, #17#18#19#20#21#22#23#24#25#26#27#28#29#30#31#32#33,  #34#35#36#37#38#39#40#41#42#43#44, #45#46#47#48#49#50#51#52#53#54#55#56#57#58#59#60#61#62#63

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Is there a specific trigger for it? If you're unsure, that could be what you focus on next. Trying to figure out why this occurs, and address the source. Like I said, mine is emotional eating and/or eating while reading a book. Sometimes, days when I didn't get enough food during breakfast and lunch leads to bingeing at dinner. When this sort of thing happens, write down (or type out into a note on your phone) how you feel- the feeling that's driving you to eat. Are you bored? Are you tired? Have you eaten enough that day?

 

For me, addressing the source helped. I'm slowly working on the underlying problems. Emphasis on slowly as the book/eating thing is a serious issue.

It's kind of like a funnel thing. Once I get a taste of something sweet, I must get more and more sugar. It's like super sugar hypnosis.

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Absolutes are impossible for me as well. As porchcricket13 said above, I simply limit it. No more than 1 dessert/day (I don't always have it either, and it's always something small), Limit of 4 carb/bread based things each day (rice, bread, granola bars, naan, ect). There are things I've had to put my foot down on though. I can't allow goldfish crackers in my house, for example. My normal daily food intake looks like this right now:

 

Breakfast: egg muffin/mini quiche, fruit(apples, applesauce, cuties, ect), sausage link, slice of homemade wheat bread (I bake bread weekly)

Lunch: Meat sandwich, fruit, cheese stick, granola bar(protein heavy and fiber heavy)

Dinner: Broccoli, Chicken, Brown Rice, and Cheese dish (Or other precooked main dish- last week it was meatloaf with naan and a mix of peas and carrots)

That triggered something in my head. Part of my issue is, actually, the absolutes. I keep thinking that I'm not absolute, but I am. I cut out most animal products, most oils, bread, etc. and beat myself up to a huge degree for it. This makes me make more mistakes (lots of m's). I know in here (my head) that I need to change slow and keep the changes going, but in here (my chest, my heart) I keep thinking that I need to change now. I need to adapt myself, not just try to mimick the good, but extreme ways for other. Healthy, healthy, healthy. It's subjective, but mostly everyone agrees: eat less processed foods, less fats, move more, less sugar, etc. It's doing it.

A big part of my issue is that I'm all or nothing, all or nothing. When I screw up, I beat myself up to an extreme point. I think that's why I'm the biggest guy in my family. That and I'm sentimental, so I stay behind with the little guys. To make up for lost time, I look for smart efficient ways of doing things. This means, by definition too much work...

I'm thinking too much again. I see three pages ahead and I'm writing at page one. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah health. My family is really bad. One half of the extended family is super scrawny, almost afraid of food. The other half are super chunky, and go for deep fried butter. I just want to be able to enjoy life and I want to "fly." I use this phrase a lot. What I mean is that I don't want to held back by my physical self. I want to be able to run, jump, and "fly." That's why parkour is a big goal of mine.

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On ‎4‎/‎26‎/‎2016 at 7:48 PM, neomattlac said:

That triggered something in my head. Part of my issue is, actually, the absolutes. I keep thinking that I'm not absolute, but I am. I cut out most animal products, most oils, bread, etc. and beat myself up to a huge degree for it. This makes me make more mistakes (lots of m's). I know in here (my head) that I need to change slow and keep the changes going, but in here (my chest, my heart) I keep thinking that I need to change now. I need to adapt myself, not just try to mimick the good, but extreme ways for other. Healthy, healthy, healthy. It's subjective, but mostly everyone agrees: eat less processed foods, less fats, move more, less sugar, etc. It's doing it.

A big part of my issue is that I'm all or nothing, all or nothing. When I screw up, I beat myself up to an extreme point. I think that's why I'm the biggest guy in my family. That and I'm sentimental, so I stay behind with the little guys. To make up for lost time, I look for smart efficient ways of doing things. This means, by definition too much work...

I'm thinking too much again. I see three pages ahead and I'm writing at page one. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah health. My family is really bad. One half of the extended family is super scrawny, almost afraid of food. The other half are super chunky, and go for deep fried butter. I just want to be able to enjoy life and I want to "fly." I use this phrase a lot. What I mean is that I don't want to held back by my physical self. I want to be able to run, jump, and "fly." That's why parkour is a big goal of mine.

 

Congratulations! You have successfully identified one of the main roots of your problem, plus it's offshoot!

  • Absolutism -> Immediacy

These are in direct conflict with your end goal:

  • Parkour = Adaptability, Flow; Foresight of upcoming obstacles, giving the ability to change one's pose or plan midflight.

As with most changes in life, the first you must make is in your mind. You need to figure out a way to become Ok internally with several concepts:

  1. A gradient scale of success and failure - black and white will get you nowhere when it comes to fitness and health.
  2. The ability to turn "over the coin" and see the other side [of success or failure] - you learn what works for you and what doesn't with every choice you make.
  3. The fallacy of "as the crow flies" timelines - you are not a crow, and you will have to walk the path to fitness in order to achieve your goals.

Once you've wrapped your head around all that, you can begin making changes. :)

 

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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3 hours ago, Evicious said:

 

Congratulations! You have successfully identified one of the main roots of your problem, plus it's offshoot!

  • Absolutism -> Immediacy

These are in direct conflict with your end goal:

  • Parkour = Adaptability, Flow; Foresight of upcoming obstacles, giving the ability to change one's pose or plan midflight.

As with most changes in life, the first you must make is in your mind. You need to figure out a way to become Ok internally with several concepts:

  1. A gradient scale of success and failure - black and white will get you nowhere when it comes to fitness and health.
  2. The ability to turn "over the coin" and see the other side [of success or failure] - you learn what works for you and what doesn't with every choice you make.
  3. The fallacy of "as the crow flies" timelines - you are not a crow, and you will have to walk the path to fitness in order to achieve your goals.

Once you've wrapped your head around all that, you can begin making changes. :)

 

Maybe it's because it's 10pm, but I don't quite understand what you are saying. Can you explain again?

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10 hours ago, neomattlac said:

Maybe it's because it's 10pm, but I don't quite understand what you are saying. Can you explain again?

 

Sorry for the confusion; what I was trying to say is that you have get over your all-or-nothing approach. Thus far, you say you've been diving headfirst into whatever changes you make to your diet, then beating yourself into a pulp when you make a mistake, correct? And when you punish yourself, you find that you try to feel better by eating the things you said you weren't going to eat - which then leads you in a vicious circle of feeling bad/eating to feel better/feeling bad you ate to feel better/eating more to feel better/etc. 

 

Your approach to your eating habits is an "absolutism" mindset (all-or-nothing). Diving in headfirst (swearing off Food A, B, and C; "I won't eat anymore ___!") demonstrates an "immediacy" mindset (you want to see results as quickly as possible; you are "gambling all your money on this one play".) 

 

In contrast to your mindset that all-the-things-must-change-now, parkour - the activity you would ultimately like to train in and master - requires you be able to make little adjustments and changes as-you-go. See the contrast? You want to change-all-the-things-now vs. [parkour] make-little-changes-on-the-fly. I'm talking strictly about mindset here.

 

Parkour is not about clearing all the obstacles in one giant leap. It's about navigating around the obstacles that appear in your path while you work to get from Point A to Point B. It's also about continuing to move forward even when you stumble: you turn a fall into a tuck-n-roll, you don't give up midair and then lie there on the ground (metaphorically speaking, obviously). And most importantly, if you do find yourself unceremoniously sprawled out, you don't give up: you stand up, think about what happened - why it happened - and what you should've done differently, and then you look forward and move on.

 

Your eating habits should follow the same principles.

  • First, figure out what path you're going to take (to use skiing as an example, don't try to start out on a black diamond course; start on the beginner's hill).
  • Identify the obstacles you're going to face (being bored/lonely on weekends or at night; pressure from family/friends/coworkers to eat unhealthily; etc.) and determine how you're going to handle them ("I won't keep any junk food in the house," or "I will do something with my weekends that makes me feel fulfilled," or "I will go for a nightly walk, then go to bed immediately when I get home,"; "I will bring my lunch/healthy snacks with me.")
  • Then start implementing the changes you want to make.
  • And when you run into trouble and you make mistakes (and you will!) remember to stop and breathe; think about what happened, and figure out why it happened ("I decided to keep gaming /binge-watching Netflix instead of going for my walk," "I forgot to bring my food with me," "I felt very overwhelmed by ____ today, and I just wanted to feel better so I ate all the cheese,").
  • Once you've figured out what made you stumble, brainstorm a couple ideas on how you can avoid/overcome that obstacle next time ("I will set an alarm to remind me to go for my walk," "I will try meal-prepping this week so I can just grab my lunch and go/I will keep an emergency bag of jerky/nuts in my backpack/car," "I will journal/post on NF about my feelings/I will prepare an "emotional support snack pack" filled with healthy things I like to eat"). 
  • Take steps to implement those ideas.
  • Then go look in the mirror and tell yourself out loud, "Mistakes are not a reason to stop trying. I will learn from this mistake and I will try to fix it. If I make this mistake again, I will try something different. I will keep trying until I find the fix that works for me. I will not let my mistakes stop me. Mistakes are stairs, and every one is a step up from the last. I will climb them one step at a time until I reach my goal at the top."
  • Then smile, go drink a glass of water, and move on with your day.

 

  • Like 1

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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On 5/20/2016 at 9:22 AM, Evicious said:

 

Sorry for the confusion; what I was trying to say is that you have get over your all-or-nothing approach. Thus far, you say you've been diving headfirst into whatever changes you make to your diet, then beating yourself into a pulp when you make a mistake, correct? And when you punish yourself, you find that you try to feel better by eating the things you said you weren't going to eat - which then leads you in a vicious circle of feeling bad/eating to feel better/feeling bad you ate to feel better/eating more to feel better/etc. 

 

Your approach to your eating habits is an "absolutism" mindset (all-or-nothing). Diving in headfirst (swearing off Food A, B, and C; "I won't eat anymore ___!") demonstrates an "immediacy" mindset (you want to see results as quickly as possible; you are "gambling all your money on this one play".) 

 

In contrast to your mindset that all-the-things-must-change-now, parkour - the activity you would ultimately like to train in and master - requires you be able to make little adjustments and changes as-you-go. See the contrast? You want to change-all-the-things-now vs. [parkour] make-little-changes-on-the-fly. I'm talking strictly about mindset here.

 

Parkour is not about clearing all the obstacles in one giant leap. It's about navigating around the obstacles that appear in your path while you work to get from Point A to Point B. It's also about continuing to move forward even when you stumble: you turn a fall into a tuck-n-roll, you don't give up midair and then lie there on the ground (metaphorically speaking, obviously). And most importantly, if you do find yourself unceremoniously sprawled out, you don't give up: you stand up, think about what happened - why it happened - and what you should've done differently, and then you look forward and move on.

 

Your eating habits should follow the same principles.

  • First, figure out what path you're going to take (to use skiing as an example, don't try to start out on a black diamond course; start on the beginner's hill).
  • Identify the obstacles you're going to face (being bored/lonely on weekends or at night; pressure from family/friends/coworkers to eat unhealthily; etc.) and determine how you're going to handle them ("I won't keep any junk food in the house," or "I will do something with my weekends that makes me feel fulfilled," or "I will go for a nightly walk, then go to bed immediately when I get home,"; "I will bring my lunch/healthy snacks with me.")
  • Then start implementing the changes you want to make.
  • "I felt very overwhelmed by ____ today, and I just wanted to feel better so I ate all the cheese,").
  • Once you've figured out what made you stumble, brainstorm a couple ideas on how you can avoid/overcome that obstacle next time ("I will set an alarm to remind me to go for my walk," "I will try meal-prepping this week so I can just grab my lunch and go/I will keep an emergency bag of jerky/nuts in my backpack/car," "I will journal/post on NF about my feelings/I will prepare an "emotional support snack pack" filled with healthy things I like to eat"). 
  • Take steps to implement those ideas.
  • Then go look in the mirror and tell yourself out loud, "Mistakes are not a reason to stop trying. I will learn from this mistake and I will try to fix it. If I make this mistake again, I will try something different. I will keep trying until I find the fix that works for me. I will not let my mistakes stop me. Mistakes are stairs, and every one is a step up from the last. I will climb them one step at a time until I reach my goal at the top."
  • Then smile, go drink a glass of water, and move on with your day.

 

I apologize for the lack of response. I made a very bad decision. I decided to drink for the first time in six months or so. I drank three beers and was toasted. New meds, little sleep, little food. I was drinking semi-alone. Set off a chain reaction that reminded me why I don't drink. It sets my depression off like fire to a gasoline can. As stupid as it sounds, I was drinking to impress a girl 2000 miles away. One I'm not even particularly interested in. 

Your line about "I felt very overwhelmed..." hits home. I think it's one of the reasons why I eat. I never learned to handle stress or emotion. I had an anger problem as a teen and forced it inward, and I'm getting backslash for that now. I would rather the fire be on me than on others (I don't want to lash out at others). I can't reiterate enough how much I don't want to hurt others.

My goals are changing from weight loss to speed and strength conditioning. I want to be a fighter (boxer or mma). My reason is the same reason I want to make a lot of money and gain power. I want to protect the little guy.

In a semi-related note, I had a pseudo-epiphany. I learned the difference between gentleness and kindness. You can be aggressive and kind, like the Punisher or Wolverine. Reminds me of myself. For a long time, I thought I was evil, because I was a bit bullish (aggressive) because I simply couldn't wrap my head around a lot of things (I'm pretty sure I should have been diagnosed as autistic, but I'm glad I wasn't). I did things others wouldn't do. Thinking back, I think I did a lot of things for the same reason people cut themselves. I wanted to feel that I could still feel. Unfortunately, guilt has a lasting effect on me. 

I really, really need to follow your advice. 

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Remember this as you move forward: you cannot take care of others if you do not take care of yourself.

 

So take care of yourself. Get yourself in the right headspace; figure out your issues, and work to bring yourself to a stable place. You can't be a source of strength if you aren't strong; you can't offer safety if you yourself are not safe. Ask for help if you need it, and accept it when you receive it. Become the example you want others to follow. 

 

Take care of you so you can take care of others.

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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On 5/23/2016 at 0:55 PM, Evicious said:

Remember this as you move forward: you cannot take care of others if you do not take care of yourself.

 

So take care of yourself. Get yourself in the right headspace; figure out your issues, and work to bring yourself to a stable place. You can't be a source of strength if you aren't strong; you can't offer safety if you yourself are not safe. Ask for help if you need it, and accept it when you receive it. Become the example you want others to follow. 

 

Take care of you so you can take care of others.

That's something I'm trying to keep in mind.

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On ‎20‎.‎05‎.‎2016 at 3:22 PM, Evicious said:

 

  • First, figure out what path you're going to take (to use skiing as an example, don't try to start out on a black diamond course; start on the beginner's hill).
  • Identify the obstacles you're going to face (being bored/lonely on weekends or at night; pressure from family/friends/coworkers to eat unhealthily; etc.) and determine how you're going to handle them ("I won't keep any junk food in the house," or "I will do something with my weekends that makes me feel fulfilled," or "I will go for a nightly walk, then go to bed immediately when I get home,"; "I will bring my lunch/healthy snacks with me.")
  • Then start implementing the changes you want to make.
  • And when you run into trouble and you make mistakes (and you will!) remember to stop and breathe; think about what happened, and figure out why it happened ("I decided to keep gaming /binge-watching Netflix instead of going for my walk," "I forgot to bring my food with me," "I felt very overwhelmed by ____ today, and I just wanted to feel better so I ate all the cheese,").
  • Once you've figured out what made you stumble, brainstorm a couple ideas on how you can avoid/overcome that obstacle next time ("I will set an alarm to remind me to go for my walk," "I will try meal-prepping this week so I can just grab my lunch and go/I will keep an emergency bag of jerky/nuts in my backpack/car," "I will journal/post on NF about my feelings/I will prepare an "emotional support snack pack" filled with healthy things I like to eat"). 
  • Take steps to implement those ideas.
  • Then go look in the mirror and tell yourself out loud, "Mistakes are not a reason to stop trying. I will learn from this mistake and I will try to fix it. If I make this mistake again, I will try something different. I will keep trying until I find the fix that works for me. I will not let my mistakes stop me. Mistakes are stairs, and every one is a step up from the last. I will climb them one step at a time until I reach my goal at the top."
  • Then smile, go drink a glass of water, and move on with your day.

 

 

This is excellent advise. I don't know if it was useful for the original poster, but it was certainly good for me to hear this again. Thanks!

  • Like 1

 

 

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On ‎6‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 0:36 PM, neomattlac said:

I took a big hit today. I got a call my doc with my blood results. Cholesterol is high, so I'm being put on meds for it. If that wasn't bad enough, she added that I'm at a high risk for pre diabetes.

I'm such an idiot. Why can't I take care of myself? I just like good food. 

 

*Hug* I'm sorry you're hurting. Health issues are scary, and can feel totally overwhelming. I wish I could just sit you down in a quiet corner with some tea, so you could vent and work through the news mentally and emotionally. I strongly encourage you to do something along those lines anyway, either with friends, or in a journal, or here on NF, if you can. There are a lot of people on this site with similar health issues who can both empathize and offer advice.

I suggest you post in the Help Me Clean Up My Diet threads, or check out the General Diet And Nutrition page.

Evicious, Khajjit Ranger STR 7 | DEX 13 | STA 3 | CON 6 | WIS 16 | CHA 4

Current 4WC: Evicious: The Unburdening II + Blitz Week!

Fitocracy! I Play To Win!

Keep up the momentum!

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