Urgan Shows Up, Does the Thing

[Kishi]

Yeah, it was below freezing when I drove to work today. Buh. I need to start training with an eye toward extremes of temperature.

[Urgan]

55 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Yeah, it was below freezing when I drove to work today. Buh. I need to start training with an eye toward extremes of temperature.

 

Same--it's been that way all week. UGH. UGH, I SAY. Man you already have been training under extremes, what you talking 'bout??

[Kishi]

23 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

Same--it's been that way all week. UGH. UGH, I SAY. Man you already have been training under extremes, what you talking 'bout??

 

Mostly I just mean taking cold showers and sitting in a sauna. Getting used to being okay with being in extremes of temperature.

[Urgan]

3 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Mostly I just mean taking cold showers and sitting in a sauna. Getting used to being okay with being in extremes of temperature.

 

I know, it's just funny given the stress you've been under you're "looking" for more. Classic~

[Kishi]

36 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I know, it's just funny given the stress you've been under you're "looking" for more. Classic~

 

I always thought I was joking when I said I was dead inside~

[Urgan]

1/31/2019

 

Hurry up and wait

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

I really pushed my luck on the drive home because the eye pain was real. It's hard when the headache starts on the drive to work. That's not supposed to occur.



Without: Giri

Use daily shower cleaner - 23/29

 

Deal with electric razor batteries   
Sign up for paperless sewer bill         
Declutter nightstand         
Clean shower        
Clean microwave             

Remove Christmas stuff             

Verify whether chipotle pepper is the cause of Husband's heartburn             

Follow up on Mom's foot and leg pain - 2/2       
Replace A/C on 1/8            

Clean toilet
Clean sink counters 
Clean stubborn pot stains          

Program Lifts for Mom  
Write Christmas present thank-you note    
Clean pressure cooker inserts         

Budget for HOA fee payment  
Declutter coffee table    

Research automated testing for work             
Buy (and use) daily shower cleaner - 23/29          
Clean under bed             

Mop the floor       
Clean kitchen table
Pop the cork on the cooking wine bottle or throw it out  

 

Nutrition 

2350 Calories. 2390 : 2341

 

Aikido

Jo. 13/10

Tech Review. 19/20

 

Thursdays are hard slogs, but at least there was work to do regularly throughout the day. Dinner was made, Aikido was (barely) reviewed, calories were sorta hit by the skin of my teeth, but my goodness so tired by bedtime. 

[Mikey Fitpants]

HI. Are you learning Aikido? That would be something I would like to have a go at. What does the Jo 13/10 and Tech Review 19/20 bit mean?

[Urgan]

1 hour ago, Mikey Fitpants said:

HI. Are you learning Aikido? That would be something I would like to have a go at. What does the Jo 13/10 and Tech Review 19/20 bit mean?

 

Yup. It's a real good time, too.

 

13/10 means 13 out of 10 times I need to practice my Jo kata in order to meet my goal of practicing enough for the month. Same with Tech review--I need to keep up with reviewing what I've done in class.

[Mikey Fitpants]

I see. I sounds like you are doing really well then.

[shaar]

So.  Gotdang.  Cold.  We do not deserve this, nope nope.

 

That's such a bizarre policy with the cat litter.  Come on, people.  I've actually transitioned to buying mine from Amazon, Finn uses the crystal kind and where I am now it's a 15 minute drive to the pet store and after a long day of work and 20-30 minute freeway commute yeah no.  I was actually able to find a similar product for the same price and hallelujah for a tiny quality of life upgrade.....

[Urgan]

3 hours ago, shaar said:

So.  Gotdang.  Cold.  We do not deserve this, nope nope.

 

That's such a bizarre policy with the cat litter.  Come on, people.  I've actually transitioned to buying mine from Amazon, Finn uses the crystal kind and where I am now it's a 15 minute drive to the pet store and after a long day of work and 20-30 minute freeway commute yeah no.  I was actually able to find a similar product for the same price and hallelujah for a tiny quality of life upgrade.....

 

My first order from chewy.com is on its way~ No more prison walkout procedures for me.

[Urgan]

It is 7:30 on a Sunday and the last of the laundry is washing, dinner is made, my clothes are put up, I am packed for Monday, the floor is clean, and I just had chocolate pudding. I just thought everyone needed to know that I am an Adult.

[Urgan]

2/1/2019 - 2/3/2019

 

Moving on

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

I don't feel there was an excess of snark over the weekend. I certainly didn't have anything to snark about outside of work



Without: Giri

Deal with electric razor batteries   
Sign up for paperless sewer bill         
Declutter nightstand         
Clean shower        
Clean microwave              

Remove Christmas stuff              

Verify whether chipotle pepper is the cause of Husband's heartburn              

Follow up on Mom's foot and leg pain - 2/2       
Replace A/C on 1/8             

Clean toilet
Clean sink counters 
Clean stubborn pot stains           

Program Lifts for Mom  
Write Christmas present thank-you note    
Clean pressure cooker inserts          

Budget for HOA fee payment  
Declutter coffee table     

Research automated testing for work             

Clean under bed              

Mop the floor       

Use daily shower cleaner - 24/29
Clean kitchen table
Pop the cork on the cooking wine bottle or throw it out 

 

Nutrition 

2350 Calories. 2359 : 2249, 2323, 2279

 

Aikido

Jo. 13/10

Tech Review. 19/20

 

Friday started with a challenging session of 78lbs that had no right to be challenging in my mind's eye. My left arm begged to differ, I guess. Friday was brisk, plenty of work to do since people be marking their stuff ready to test now like they want it to go out someday lol. First order of cat stuff is on its way, so shopping was faster and lighter than ever. Came home and crashed. Husband was crashed, too, hit by ye olde local plague. Yay. Some small laundry happened.

 

Saturday was heavy lower body day. Worked up to 210lbs for 4 sets on squats and stuck with 220lbs for deadlifts. Might have physically been able to hit 212lbs had I stopped with like, 2 sets, but I was good and did as prescribed. Which is what I should do when under a sort-of-deload. Moar laundry. "Dessert hummus" AKA chocolate pudding was had. 

 

Sunday was the ubiquitous chore day. Mopping, cleaning under the bed, the rest of the laundry, etc all happened at a reasonable time so the evening was nice and slow. No actual nap happened, which is unheard of.

 

So here's the final roundup of January.

- I'm far from perfect on complaining--specifically the useless kind that really is just me seeking an audience vs actually working through something--but awareness is everything.

- My Giri goal went fairly well, also not perfect, but I feel I was really pushing myself right away, to pretty good results. I got a lot of stuff done, most of which had been sitting neglected for some time.

- My macros this past week and over the course of the month have been really on target. We'll see if the slight increase makes a big difference or no.

- Aikido training has been the best it's been in months, as it does when That Time draws near...

[Mikey Fitpants]

Well done with all you achieved in January. Are you being kind enough to yourself? We often give ourselves a far harder time than we would give other people for achieving the same stuff. And also, it's best to totally ditch the idea of 'perfection'. It can rarely be achieved and can result in unintended negativity. Enjoy the satisfaction of the all things you've achieved. Good stuff   

[Urgan]

February 2019 Goals

Quick, act natural

 

....oh, you're still here?

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Bushido.

 

Justice/Rectitude 

To recap, this is "morally correct behavior or thinking; righteousness." 

A backstop of morally correct behavior is Giri--you do the thing because it is the right thing to do, not because you feel like it that day.

 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

This has been a fun little exercise that cuts to the core of how I cope with things I don't like. Nice way to start off the New Year, right? I thought so. The biggest challenge of all is how to discuss the issue without devolving into kvetching on this platform. Three big areas I have identified where this is an issue is at work, at my parents' house, and at the gym re: watching others. I'm working on noticing what I say to other people at the office, how I steer conversation at home, and limiting the fun-poking one does given gym antics. These are bleeding mental energy if the complaint isn't directed toward understanding and/or solving a problem. 

 

Without: Giri

Hey, it never hurts to have a concrete list of responsibilities to complete. I did well at reclaiming some semblance of control over the condition of the house (MOPPED FLOORS FTW). Tackling these things head-on, no excuses.

 

Nighttime teethbrushing - 0/28

Bring in parents' dumpster - 0/4

Do work online training - 0/18

Haul off donations

Buy a better paper shredder

Clean kitchen table

Clean shower

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

Mop floor

Investigate laptop heating issue

Find storage space for cat supplies

 

Some notes:

1. I have a bad habit of phoning in dental care many nights because I eat right up until lights-out, see Gets Home from Dojo at 10:15PM. It's way too easy to just not do it because It's Cold, I'm Tired. Wah.

2. My laptop has started getting rather hot. I need to do some research into what else I can do to mitigate this shy of breaking out the screwdriver, wherein this mission gets upgraded because wow does disassembling my laptop enter the fear territory. More discussion incoming.

 

Courage

Ah, courage. That most misunderstood of virtues. Oh wait, that's meekness. Nevermind. * coughs * The second-most misunderstood virtue, then.

A generally agreed-upon definition of courage is "knowing what's right and doing it." Sensei pointed out the wisdom of doing that thing even in the face of fear and more specifically if you don't battle fear in the process you aren't really doing something courageous. Samurai define it as intelligent risk-taking, or "the betweenness of cowardice and rashness" as I saw posted online and rather liked because it really concisely sums my understanding of the Bushido virtue. Not using risk as an excuse to not act or just acting blindly. The glue that binds this balance together is the good old Aikido practice of blending with life and taking opportunities as they come.

 

Within: Belt Test is a Battlefield

Nothing puts the fear of God in you faster than putting yourself in the position of Belt Test Night. I need to meditate on this to test myself--am I mentally ready? So part of the Tech Review will be to do just that. The test from blue to purple belt is the penultimate in difficulty, I am told. After purple, it gets better. Again, so I hear.

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

These things are not actually required this month. That's a lot of money (financial risk) leaving our bank account at once and tax time is coming. These are distinguished from Giri in that they are not simple to-do tasks, require significant monetary expense, and/or are at the least intimidating. I need to step beyond the intimidation and investigate the following:

 

Gun purchase

Instacart-type grocery services

Getting recalled airbags fixed

New kitchen chairs

Learning first-aid

 

I need to determine how to make these things happen, assess whether it's worth the cost, prioritize it against what's already got to happen this month, and create a plan to make them reality or reject them. 

 

What I am going to work on right away is to become more self-assertive re: physical space. I have a chronic issue where when I need to get somewhere and people be in my way, I'll tend to just stand around silently until somebody notices. It takes a while. This needs to stop. There's a line between politeness and doormat and it needs to be respected.

Nutrition 

2400 Calories. And here we are, well into a deload and I believe the thing to do is raise calories by 50. Let's roll the dice and see what happens.

0 : 0

 

Aikido

Jo. This is going to stay here until I get my purple belt and it becomes Jo Kata II, lol.

0/10

Tech Review. January was an excellent month in this area. Not perfect, but miles ahead of prior months. In the buildup to test day, dojo day is a review of what was done in class and the following day is for reviewing alllll the things. I need to hold all the techniques in my head at once in preparation for doing them sequentially.

0/16

 

Weekly Debriefs:

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

[Mistr]

You made great progress in January. Congratulations!

 

I am going to borrow a version of your task list. 

 

Courage - I so need to work on this virtue. I am fine most of the time in aikido. Until I get to working with the people who physically intimidate me. They are all lovely human beings, just strong or high energy or 100 pounds heavier than me. I tense up and nothing works because I've tensed up, reinforcing my brain being nervous. I need to break that cycle and just relax. Easier said than done.

 

Does your work sponsor first aid classes? Or your gym? I got my CPR/First Aid recertification last year through work. 

 

You are in a much better place than you were a year ago. I look forward to seeing where you go next.

[Urgan]

2/4/2019 + 2/5/2019

Up and away

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

There was a lot of complaining over both Monday and Tuesday, but that was due to Developments (described below) and was more of a coping mechanism for my parents than me, so. 

 

Without: Giri

Nighttime teethbrushing - 2/28

Bring in parents' dumpster - 1/4

Do work online training - 1/18

Haul off donations

Buy a better paper shredder

Clean kitchen table

Clean shower

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

Mop floor

Investigate laptop heating issue

Find storage space for cat supplies

 

Courage

Within: Belt Test is a Battlefield

Tuesday I went through all the techniques and even video'd my jo kata, where I found a few things to fix. It's a start.

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun purchase

Instacart-type grocery services

Getting recalled airbags fixed

New kitchen chairs

Learning first-aid

 

Nutrition 

2400 Calories. 2364 : 2392, 2335

 

Aikido

Jo. 1/10

Tech Review. 2/16

 

Well Monday started off good. I had a decent bench session of 103lbs for doubles, work didn't murder me, dojo was all about the ushiro kotegaeshi, I did what I was supposed to. And then Tuesday happened, wherein I got the sneezes and the sinus drainage and I just decided to stay home because my boss would heckle me otherwise and I am too busy being sick to be treated that way by a guy with a toddler. Still did the best I could to eat, meet goals, and do a smidge of laundry just to say I did more than take up space that day. I slept in 3 hour bursts, which makes a day go away really fast. I'm not sure whether I caught this from my husband who was sick over the weekend or from the guy who showed up to the dojo on Monday and who swore to Sensei he was all better. I will be interested to hear who all will be absent tonight (I'm not going to train anywhere today, given I am just as sniffly as I was on Tuesday). 

 

The thing that Happened last Friday that I forgot to mention is we finally got an offer on that land we've been needing to get rid of and crazy family is being cooperative, so we think they lost a job and/or have a sudden need of large amounts of money. Who knows, but they are making it rather more difficult for the deal to be done for people who just have to sit back and get their signing hands limbered up to claim the better part of $100,000. Nobody said logic had any say in this. Hence the complaining, or mostly listening to mom vent about what dumb shenanigans happened this day. It's a never-ending story, make no mistake. Example: the buyer thinks we don't need a lawyer, just mail a contract and the deed to him, the sister wants to get a lawyer, local to the area where the land is but if she knew anything she'd know all the lawyers around that area are more crooked than a crinkle fry--small town, everybody knows everybody, etc. So it's going down like a horse pill, but it's going to happen so long as nobody decides to change their "yes" to a "no" before the ink is dry.

 

In between bits of real estate 101, we talked a bit about our kitchen chairs situation, so we may be able to find a little relief there if I get off my butt and do some research. 

 

20 hours ago, Mistr said:

Courage - I so need to work on this virtue. I am fine most of the time in aikido. Until I get to working with the people who physically intimidate me. They are all lovely human beings, just strong or high energy or 100 pounds heavier than me. I tense up and nothing works because I've tensed up, reinforcing my brain being nervous. I need to break that cycle and just relax. Easier said than done.

 

I have this feel, too, but it's earned in that one of the people who scares me hyperextended my left arm and it's never quite been the same since. So...bitten once, twice shy?

 

20 hours ago, Mistr said:

Does your work sponsor first aid classes? Or your gym? I got my CPR/First Aid recertification last year through work.

 

Not that I'm aware of. There might have been some first aid related stuff associated with a biometric health screening, but I wasn't interested in the rest of the stuff offered, so I didn't go. I could be remembering wrong, because I didn't really pay attention to it at the time~

 

20 hours ago, Mistr said:

You are in a much better place than you were a year ago. I look forward to seeing where you go next.

 

Thanks and i agree, it's crazy because I'm able to take sick days instead of sniffling with the rest of the QA lepers down in a below-ground glass box with cold air blowing constantly because the room's AC was shared by a nearby conference room that had to be kept at temperature even though it was often empty....okay that glass box part was actually two years ago, but you get the idea lol. 

[Urgan]

2/6/2019

Me trying to shoot down a cold

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

Well, it wasn't how I would have planned a Wednesday, but I ended up making the most of a sick day

 

Without: Giri

Nighttime teethbrushing - 3/28

Bring in parents' dumpster - 1/4

Do work online training - 1/18

Haul off donations

Buy a better paper shredder

Clean kitchen table

Clean shower

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

Mop floor

Investigate laptop heating issue

Find storage space for cat supplies

 

Courage

Within: Belt Test is a Battlefield

-

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun purchase

Instacart-type grocery services

Getting recalled airbags fixed

New kitchen chairs

Learning first-aid

 

Nutrition 

2400 Calories. 2382 : 2418

 

Aikido

Jo. 1/10

Tech Review. 3/16

 

I was hoping to be able to kick the sick, but it wasn't completely gone. So I stayed home another day, totaling 48 hours straight being in the house. Amazing how that feeling of being groggy and listless and achy can be cured by a well-timed cup of coffee at 5:30 PM lol. I managed to put up some clothes, re-evaluate the clothes I'd packed for Wednesday morning, cook dinner, and lie around listening to J-pop samples on iTunes. Also proud of my macros given "breakfast" isn't a thing when you sleep clear to noon. Obviously didn't dojo, so I reviewed Monday's technique as a stand-in. 

[Kishi]

Yikes. Sorry to see you down with the sickness. Feel better soon!

[Urgan]

24 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Yikes. Sorry to see you down with the sickness. Feel better soon!

 

Back at it now, I feel about 85%. This headache can go DIAF now.

[shaar]

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

 

Back at it now, I feel about 85%. This headache can go DIAF now.

 

Headaches, WHY.  I've had a headache since yesterday so this morning I gave it the business with a double espresso cold brew; headache gone but replaced by an upset stomach for part of the morning so I guess we really can't win.

 

Glad you can cash in on actual sick days tho'!

[Urgan]

12 minutes ago, shaar said:

Headaches, WHY.  I've had a headache since yesterday so this morning I gave it the business with a double espresso cold brew; headache gone but replaced by an upset stomach for part of the morning so I guess we really can't win.

 

That sounds amazing actually, provided one holds/substitutes the dairy.

 

14 minutes ago, shaar said:

Glad you can cash in on actual sick days tho'!

 

I'm not in a glass box. I'm not in a glass box. I'm not in a glass box. I'm not in a glass box. I'm not in a glass box. I'm not in a....

 

It's always good to remember where you came from if you can avoid stewing in the past. Is that possible? Is this a thing that I can learn how to do? Amusingly, this building is a ribbon of windows on each floor of an open-concept plan (Imagine a building shaped like an H that got cancer and you're halfway there...) where the only rooms with 4 solid walls around them are the utility closets, the bathrooms, and that one closet conference room where they've stuck the interns. As far from the 70s as you can get in architecture. 

[Urgan]

2/7/2019

Out on the mat, center of attention

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

There were some coworker-related grumbles to be had. Meetings and threats of meetings do not bring out my best self.

 

Without: Giri

Shower cleaning - 3/28

Nighttime teethbrushing - 4/28

Bring in parents' dumpster - 1/4

Do work online training - 2/18

Haul off donations

Buy a better paper shredder

Clean kitchen table

Clean shower

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

Mop floor

Investigate laptop heating issue

Find storage space for cat supplies

 

Courage

Within: Belt Test is a Battlefield

Did the thing, felt the thrill of staring down in the maw of the active volcano that is Belt Test Feels. Realized I really, really need to practic aiki otoshi and its related sokumen/iriminage companion technique. I forget the exact name.

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun purchase

Instacart-type grocery services

Getting recalled airbags fixed

New kitchen chairs

Learning first-aid

 

Nutrition 

2400 Calories. 2399 : 2415

 

Aikido

Jo. 2/10

Tech Review. 4/16

 

I went to work, which felt kind of odd. A coworker close to me was out sick, so at least there's company to be had lol. Caught up on work--or rather, began to. The ACTUAL work is good, I just have to do the busy work that "proves" I did the work....sigh. Went home, napped really, really hard before dinner, then reviewed all the things. It definitely feels like belt test prep now. Arglebargle.

 

The annual Big Car Show is upon us, and I am told there is a video game music related symphonic orchestra deal Friday evening. So here's the thing...I want to go, but I don't want to get out to go. It's going to be in the glorious 30s and my face may decide to explode in the middle of a super quiet moment, I just know it. Whether I do end up doing it is entirely dependent on last minute factors. Also I'm always exhausted on Fridays so I'm taking a half day just to prepare myself for at the very least schlepping on down to the car show, which coincidentally is in the same building complex as the concert. #introvertingsohardrightnow

[Mistr]

Sleeping until noon is a sign that your body needed recovery time. Glad you are feeling some better today.

[Urgan]

2/8/2019 - 2/10/2019

Sunday night vibes

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain

Much whining on Friday involving tiredness and getting out of bed. And headaches. I get by on complaining in such circumstances.

 

Without: Giri

Shower cleaning - 4/28

Nighttime teethbrushing - 7/28

Bring in parents' dumpster - 1/4

Do work online training - 2/18

Haul off donations

Buy a better paper shredder

Clean kitchen table

Clean shower

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

Mop floor

Investigate laptop heating issue

Find storage space for cat supplies

 

Courage

Within: Belt Test is a Battlefield

-

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun purchase

Instacart-type grocery services

Getting recalled airbags fixed

New kitchen chairs

Learning first-aid

 

Nutrition 

2400 Calories. 2376 : 2089, 2483, 2498

 

Aikido

Jo. 2/10

Tech Review. 4/16

 

So Friday was crazy. It was a half-day at work that started with 72lb OHP doubles and ended with two stints of crashing into bed. I wanted sleep more than life itself, but you have to eat to get rid of the headache to get the sleep and this was really hard for me to figure out at 2PM lol. Figured that out, napped, got up (late), waffled about clothing choices for a concert hall encased in <40 degree temperatures, got out the door, missed a major turn that sent me in the opposite of intended direction (nighttime + construction = no), and eventually got there in time to take some pictures (they're on my Insta) before scrambling over to the concert hall. WHEE. The concert was good, Video Games Live, which was a local orchestra fronted by Tommy Tallarico, who composed/worked on a bunch of stuff. Apparently his favorite work was Earthworm Jim. Who knew? Anyway, most of the songs were franchise medleys and they were quite good actually. This is where the headache kicked in and it was only cured by...you guessed it, food. I did pack a protein bar in my purse, but apparently that wasn't going to cut it after the lights and the sound. 

 

Saturday was boring except for the part where you lift, grocery shop, and get dinner in a window of time where the competition for calories is fierce and ow. Do Not Recommend. 

 

Sunday was chore day. Of 15 cars, my husband's shop won 9 trophies, most of which were 1st place. This is normal and was expected. I did the toilet cleaning and cat stuff disposing, so that it wouldn't sit in our foyer all our lives. Eggs, salmon, and tamale pie were in their turn cooked. Now I just need a day to recover from this weekend, and I'll be good lol.

 

On 2/8/2019 at 12:36 PM, Mistr said:

Sleeping until noon is a sign that your body needed recovery time. Glad you are feeling some better today.

 

So I routinely sleep until darn near noon most weekends, but your point is still valid yes.