Urgan Shows Up, Does the Thing

[Mistr]

Yay for bonus sushi!  Also for PRs!

[Urgan]

4/25/2019 - 4/28/2019

Current mood

武士道

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in class)

-

Without: Giri

Floss - 25/35

Scrub walls/cabinets

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Aikido - 9/10

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun research - 3/3

Audit Grocery Bill - 740 (880), 589 (742)

Audit Power Bill - 116,

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Donate

Check up on people - 8/10

Dad Training - 5/5

9:00 Dinner - 7/10

Cat food/water - 14/15

Cat grooming - 3/5

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 4

Concentration Under the Bar - 10/19

Without: Do 道

Shodo Research - 2/2

Drawing Japanese Characters - 4/2

Watch an Anime Instead of Napping Maybe

Nutrition 

2450 Calories. 2414 : 2221, 2368, 2184, 2183

 

You might or might not have noticed my absence. That is what happens when work gives you the double bird-flip of removing you from your window cube to be in a lightless hellhole lunar scape devoid of anything green or alive to share a wall with the most annoying human in the building, just so more important team members don't lose their window seats. I'm putting first aid training on hold this week, but the rest I will attempt to continue. No words in a human language convey the intensity of my fury at these developments.

 

I have discovered I have apparently been engaging in a behavior that has encouraged some of the unwanted interaction in the gym this whole time. And that behavior is looking directly at people, especially if they are moving in my direction. Apparently that means PLEASE COMMUNICATE. Go figure.

[Urgan]

4/29/2019

I am not impressed right now

武士道

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in class)

Luckily the dojo is contained in a realm completely separate from this one, or this would be difficult

 

Without: Giri

Floss - 25/35

Scrub walls/cabinets

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean sinks

Clean kitchen counters

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Aikido - 10/10

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun research - 3/3

Audit Grocery Bill - 740 (880), 589 (742)

Audit Power Bill - 116,

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Donate

Check up on people - 8/10

Dad Training - 5/5

9:00 Dinner - 7/10

Cat food/water - 14/15

Cat grooming - 3/5

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 4

Concentration Under the Bar - 11/19

Without: Do 道

Shodo Research - 2/2

Drawing Japanese Characters - 4/2

Watch an Anime Instead of Napping Maybe

Nutrition 

2450 Calories. 2212 : 2212

 

I'm repeating 1s week for this week for multiple reasons. Bench maxed out at 107lbs for three singles, so at least I can hold the line there. Carefully avoided eye contact or turning my body toward the man the whole session, not a word. Cool.

 

I will spare you the details of what work was like. Suffice it to say it managed to be an assault on all five senses, sometimes multiple at once. I'm going to have to relearn how to cope with being in this building now as if I were brand new until such time as it is No Longer an Issue. Normally I stay at my desk for lunch and am available if someone has a question or work needs to be done...that isn't happening anymore. I found a dark, cool room in the company "gym" (shocking news: I had a headache most of the day) to sit in for a while. I think it's going to be my new home for an hour a day.

 

Somehow there was no cursing in spite of work and mom trying to sell me the virtues of baby-having (a subject that is getting more upsetting lately...it's nearly circled back to the old condescending point "you'll never be ready"...). She's making me want to swear them off for life, because if forced to choose I'd rather be shot dead right now than have to think about taking care of a child. Dojo was all the koshinage load-ups, we didn't do any throwing today (we did last Wednesday), just getting the lead-up to the throws right.

 

I brought my yoga mats to roll out in the gym room, and a change of shoes because God knows what it will be like today. Remember when things were okay and everything more or less worked like it was supposed to? 

[Mistr]

My sympathy on the aggravating changes at work. I'm glad you found a dark place to escape at lunch time.

 

Your mom needs to back off. Making wistful comments about grandchildren is annoying enough. Unless she wants to volunteer full-time childcare, she shouldn't say a thing. Even with an offer of free babysitting, it is none of her business.

 

Considering how volatile things have been in your life over the last couple years, I think you are being prudent by waiting assuming you want kids someday. You and your husband may be just fine as you are, and owe no one any justification of that.

[shaar]

On 4/29/2019 at 12:00 PM, Urgan said:

I have discovered I have apparently been engaging in a behavior that has encouraged some of the unwanted interaction in the gym this whole time. And that behavior is looking directly at people, especially if they are moving in my direction. Apparently that means PLEASE COMMUNICATE. Go figure.

 

Nopenopenopenopenope.  Nope.  Eye contact, not even once.  That is a sure door-opener for COMMUNICATION and hoo boy howdy that can frick off.

 

Work sounds like a hellfire and you have all my sympathies.  I hope you can cope well enough.  There's really nothing worse.....

 

.... Except for mombie-grandmas.  I wish people - parents especially - would understand what a DEEPLY PERSONAL AND HUGELY LIFE-ALTERING CHOICE it is to have a child, and just back off. 

[Urgan]

4/30/2019

Orientation

武士道

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in class)

-

Without: Giri

Floss - 26/35

Scrub walls/cabinets

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Mop floor

Clean sinks

Clean shower

Clean kitchen counters

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Aikido - 10/10

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun research - 3/3

Audit Grocery Bill - 740 (880), 589 (742)

Audit Power Bill - 116,

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Donate

Check up on people - 9/10

Dad Training - 5/5

9:00 Dinner - 8/10

Cat food/water - 14/15

Cat grooming - 3/5

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 4

Concentration Under the Bar - 11/19

Without: Do 道

Shodo Research - 2/2

Drawing Japanese Characters - 4/2

Watch an Anime Instead of Napping Maybe

Nutrition 

2450 Calories. 2215 : 2217

 

Another Tuesday, which went about how Tuesdays usually go except you know, a little bit less well than that now that I have been shown my place in the pecking order in glorious technicolor. Around noon I went to my dark room and just laid there for 45 minutes. It was the second best part of my day (the best being my usual evening nap...). I took a pair of sun-warmed yoga mats from my car, deposited them in a well-AC'd dark space, and basked in the warm glow of Not Being At My Desk. Downloaded Pandora and listened to MIWA to give me the best chance at relaxing. It almost worked. 

 

16 hours ago, Mistr said:

My sympathy on the aggravating changes at work. I'm glad you found a dark place to escape at lunch time.

 

Your mom needs to back off. Making wistful comments about grandchildren is annoying enough. Unless she wants to volunteer full-time childcare, she shouldn't say a thing. Even with an offer of free babysitting, it is none of her business.

 

Considering how volatile things have been in your life over the last couple years, I think you are being prudent by waiting assuming you want kids someday. You and your husband may be just fine as you are, and owe no one any justification of that.

 

I'm now in passive job-searching mode. Yay. I was so looking forward to this day coming again, had no idea it would be this soon.

 

It's a lot easier to sing the praises of having a kid when the kid is grown, moved out, and not a total clusterfarkle that makes you want to cry multiple times a week. If I have to make a life-long commitment today, it would be to never have anything to do with children. Hands-down. Technically I don't have to make that call now, but if it keeps being pressed, I cannot be held responsible for what comes next.

 

14 hours ago, shaar said:

Nopenopenopenopenope.  Nope.  Eye contact, not even once.  That is a sure door-opener for COMMUNICATION and hoo boy howdy that can frick off.

 

It's an instinctive Spot the Danger reflex that is really, really hard to rein in, but I am trying.

 

14 hours ago, shaar said:

Work sounds like a hellfire and you have all my sympathies.  I hope you can cope well enough.  There's really nothing worse.....

 

Funnily enough, Spot the Danger isn't helping my productivity here, either, when fools be walking on all sides of me now.

 

14 hours ago, shaar said:

.... Except for mombie-grandmas.  I wish people - parents especially - would understand what a DEEPLY PERSONAL AND HUGELY LIFE-ALTERING CHOICE it is to have a child, and just back off. 

 

But you exist, so you should pay it forward, seems like the implied logic. Or that maybe not wanting to do so for a variety of reasons logistic and emotional may be a sign of insufficient application of faith and all I have to do is trust God that it'll work out because I had a good upbringing and she thinks I would be a good mother (well okay then, that settles that.). I'm just like, if the sight, sound, and smell of any child I've been around since hitting adulthood has made me at best uneasily eyeing my escape routes, what are the odds it's going to go well? That I won't end up resenting the little blessing because it's not exactly like getting another kitten? I don't know the answer to that one, and that's why I'm not excited about the prospect.

 

[Mistr]

25 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 I'm just like, if the sight, sound, and smell of any child I've been around since hitting adulthood has made me at best uneasily eyeing my escape routes, what are the odds it's going to go well? That I won't end up resenting the little blessing because it's not exactly like getting another kitten? I don't know the answer to that one, and that's why I'm not excited about the prospect.

^^^^^^^^This

 

Just because a person has successfully become a responsible adult does not automatically mean that person would be a good parent. My parents grew up in the dark days before birth control. Lots of people had kids because they were not careful enough. Including my parents and several of my close friend's parents. True, people coped and there were support structures to help them. No one mentions that quite a few people coped very badly. I don't have data to back it up, but my perception is that the rate of child and substance abuse has dropped since people are not as likely to be forced into parenthood. Sure, unsuitable people still can have kids, but most people are eager to wait to be parents until they are better prepared.

 

Dumbledore and I decided early on that babies were not for us. Neither of us is good with pre-verbal kids. Plus we knew what we were in for if we reproduced together. Our biological children would be difficult. I am vastly happier being an adoptive parent now. I think I could have been a decent adoptive parent earlier, but that is not how my life worked out.

 

I'm in favor of telling your mom that the topic is not open for discussion. Period. End of sentence. If she brings it up again, ask her about her sex life. Hopefully that will get across that it is a personal topic that you are not talking about with her.

[Urgan]

5/1/2019

May Day

武士道

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in class)

Easy on a test night.

Without: Giri

Floss - 27/35

Scrub walls/cabinets

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Mop floor

Clean sinks

Clean shower

Clean kitchen counters

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Aikido - 10/10

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun research - 3/3

Audit Grocery Bill - 740 (880), 589 (742)

Audit Power Bill - 116,

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Donate

Check up on people - 9/10

Dad Training - 5/5

9:00 Dinner - 8/10

Cat food/water - 14/15

Cat grooming - 3/5

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 4

Concentration Under the Bar - 12/19

Without: Do 道

Shodo Research - 2/2

Drawing Japanese Characters - 5/2

Watch an Anime Instead of Napping Maybe

Nutrition 

2450 Calories. 2256 : 2340

 

Another one of these day things. We shan't speak of most of it. Gym time featured a glorious lack of PFM. He hung around a tiny bit, but he bugged out way earlier than his usual time. Can't say I am upset about that. I remembered it was a test night as I was driving to my parents' house, which was neat that I remembered at all, I guess. There was very little baby talk, replaced by a concern about everyone around them making noises about moving and yay trying to long-term plan when the two people involved don't agree on what the goal is. 

 

Reciprocated for a blue belt who uke'd for my last test, didn't screw it up. Got home and did what any sane person whose fine-motor coordination is well and truly shot: calligraphy. 

[Urgan]

5/2/2019

CONTINUE?

武士道

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in class)

-

Without: Giri

Floss - 28/35

Scrub walls/cabinets

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Mop floor

Clean sinks

Clean shower

Clean kitchen counters

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Aikido - 10/10

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun research - 3/3

Audit Grocery Bill - 740 (880), 589 (742)

Audit Power Bill - 116,

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Donate

Check up on people - 9/10

Dad Training - 5/5

9:00 Dinner - 9/10

Cat food/water - 15/15

Cat grooming - 3/5

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 4

Concentration Under the Bar - 12/19

Without: Do 道

Shodo Research - 2/2

Drawing Japanese Characters - 5/2

Watch an Anime Instead of Napping Maybe

Nutrition 

2450 Calories. 2279 : 2345

 

Our neighbor died early in the morning. It was sudden, but not a total shock because he was not a well individual--cancer that nearly kills you will do that, unfortunately it was a lifelong thing he had to manage even after it was removed. Not sure I have ever mentioned him, but you might recall him as the one who seemed like he didn't want to talk to me if I answered the door and could not produce my husband to take over the interaction, which always struck me as super weird (Example: I had to drag out of him instead of letting him leave and come back later without telling me that he needed a blunt-tipped arrow fetched from our side of the backyard because he shot it over the fence and my husband wasn't home to go get it). Well, as you can imagine we weren't exactly close, but hubs and he were pretty good friends and we stopped by their house and checked in on his wife after work. It's hard. Have you ever heard of funeral/burials broken up across two days? It's definitely a first here.

 

This was another day for my sinus cavity to go haywire most of the day. I nearly fell asleep in the dark room and from that point on I sort of could function without fighting my face. That was pretty cool. Before that, I ordered food from a hipster restaurant devoted solely to tamales, an hour or so later I got a call explaining the place was doing a food truck event, so no food delivery for me. Sigh, it's like the only place around that does tamales, maybe? Between that and the fact it has random hours that include being closed on Tuesdays, guess they'd rather be special princesses than serve the world what looked like really good tamales in exchange for dinero. Got Puerto Rican instead, which included two tostones because tostones too good. Almost 24 hours and my gut hasn't declared war yet?? Dinner was carbonara, it was really really a slog to make myself make it, because WOW the exhaustion was real by that point. friday Friday FRIDAY plz come and go quickly.

[Mistr]

On 5/2/2019 at 10:03 AM, Urgan said:

 There was very little baby talk, replaced by a concern about everyone around them making noises about moving and yay trying to long-term plan when the two people involved don't agree on what the goal is. 

 

Reciprocated for a blue belt who uke'd for my last test, didn't screw it up. Got home and did what any sane person whose fine-motor coordination is well and truly shot: calligraphy. 

 

Long term planning is good. Even better when it results in action. My in-laws were divided on the issue of selling their house which is on an acre lot with lots of trees and yard maintenance they can no longer do. I thought my mother-in-law would sell soon after my father-in-law died, but that has not happened yet. I'm afraid the whole process is just too overwhelming for her. It would be better if she moved before circumstances forced the issue.

 

Yay for taking good ukemi for your friend.

 

45 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

Before that, I ordered food from a hipster restaurant devoted solely to tamales, an hour or so later I got a call explaining the place was doing a food truck event, so no food delivery for me. Sigh, it's like the only place around that does tamales, maybe? Between that and the fact it has random hours that include being closed on Tuesdays, guess they'd rather be special princesses than serve the world what looked like really good tamales in exchange for dinero. Got Puerto Rican instead, which included two tostones because tostones too good. Almost 24 hours and my gut hasn't declared war yet?? Dinner was carbonara, it was really really a slog to make myself make it, because WOW the exhaustion was real by that point. friday Friday FRIDAY plz come and go quickly.

 

You would think they would know about the food truck event that same morning. Yay for tostones! We have a Venezuelan restaurant that makes them. Not quite the same as Puerto Rican, but still good. I hope those stay on the permitted list for your insides.

[Urgan]

10 minutes ago, Mistr said:

Long term planning is good. Even better when it results in action. My in-laws were divided on the issue of selling their house which is on an acre lot with lots of trees and yard maintenance they can no longer do. I thought my mother-in-law would sell soon after my father-in-law died, but that has not happened yet. I'm afraid the whole process is just too overwhelming for her. It would be better if she moved before circumstances forced the issue.

 

In our highly limited experience, it tends to fall on a kid to do the heavy lifting, after a certain point people get so emotionally overwhelmed about their property(ies) they turtle up until the inevitable happens. Giant sigh. I see this problem coming with my in-laws with their beach house, if a wall of wind and water doesn't take it out at some point.

 

18 minutes ago, Mistr said:

You would think they would know about the food truck event that same morning. Yay for tostones! We have a Venezuelan restaurant that makes them. Not quite the same as Puerto Rican, but still good. I hope those stay on the permitted list for your insides.

 

It is possible to pause Waitr ordering, they just CBF. That's fine, I won't order from there again because who wants to wait an hour to be told it isn't coming and order somewhere else hoping it will get to you on schedule-ish (I'm not a giant jerk about these things, within a half hour of ETA would be neato) and you're just kinda scheduling everything around anticipating its arrival? Do they not taste like slightly banana-flavored popcorn? It's the oddest thing. I will report back with whether I was a fool for giving it another attempt lol.

[Urgan]

5/3/2019 - 5/5/2019

Yuki = this week

Kyo = me

武士道

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in class)

-

Without: Giri

Floss - 31/35

Scrub walls/cabinets

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Mop floor

Clean sinks

Clean shower

Clean kitchen counters

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Aikido - 10/10

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun research - 3/3

Audit Grocery Bill - 740 (880), 589 (742)

Audit Power Bill - 116,

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Donate

Check up on people - 11/10

Dad Training - 5/5

9:00 Dinner - 9/10

Cat food/water - 16/15

Cat grooming - 4/5

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 4

Concentration Under the Bar - 14/19

Without: Do 道

Shodo Research - 2/2

Drawing Japanese Characters - 5/2

Watch an Anime Instead of Napping Maybe

Nutrition 

2450 Calories. 2315 : 2346, 2446, 2280

 

This week was fired allllll the way back on Monday, so you can imagine I am glad to see the end of it. Gym sessions have been better in terms of the lifts themselves and the humans that must be navigated therein. Not everything got done, as visitation happened and I just CBF to kill myself on Sunday. I was in more of a run screaming into the EBSCO-owned woods and never come back mood punctuated by a 30 minute break while watching the new episode of Fruits Basket. 

[Urgan]

May 2019 Goals

April hit the bench, May suit up

.

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Bushido.

 

Justice/Rectitude 

To recap, this is "morally correct behavior or thinking; righteousness." 

A backstop of morally correct behavior is Giri--you do the thing because it is the right thing to do, not because you feel like it that day.

 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

Still no whine or sake in Aikido. Now I just need to practice not looking at anybody and getting back to a normal disposition in the gym.

 

Without: Giri

Money is a lot better now that we're past the conversion from monthly credit card life to weekly debit life, at least as of this writing. Kitchen counters and shower escaped a formal cleaning (I'm not counting the maintenance wipe- and spray-downs) because I caught a case of the F-its. If we have to go to a visitation we don't also have to scrub down the shower, or so the logic went. It still needs to get done eventually. I threw a bit of a tantrum last week due to work, I need to put my money where my mouth is and update that resume in the event I see a job that looks like it has my name written on it. In conjunction with my Heizen goals, I should be able to afford buying a new harddrive that will make backing up my laptop faster and more convenient to schedule regular backups. 

 

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

A generally agreed-upon definition of courage is "knowing what's right and doing it." Samurai define it as intelligent risk-taking, or "the betweenness of cowardice and rashness" as I saw posted online and rather liked because it really concisely sums my understanding of the Bushido virtue. Not using risk as an excuse to not act or just acting blindly.

 

Within: Crying in the Dojo

I did well in April with reviewing techniques after class. This is good and helpful to being prepared to polish said techniques in class the next time they come up as opposed to re-learning them from scratch. I also need to get a jump on other techniques via video-watching. Finally, I need to keep my bokken and jo techniques shiny and in the front of my mind.

 

Class Technique Review - 0/8

Video Technique Review - 0/8

Buki Waza Review - 0/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

These are distinguished from Giri in that they are not simple to-do tasks, require significant monetary expense, and/or are at the least intimidating. I need to step beyond the intimidation and investigate the below.

 

Gun research went well in April. I used PewPewTactical.com to gain a basic familiarity of firearms types and terminology. This month I'm going to peruse The Well-Armed Woman just to see what it has to say on the subject. I also need to look into what it will require to take my laptop apart and clean it vs how much it would cost to have someone else do it. It's getting warmer and temperatures are trending hotter for the poor laptop. I can't keep ignoring it unless I fancy potentially having to buy a new one because this one burns up. Speaking of money, so far our finances seem to be okay with day-to-day life with Instacart, but I need at least 3 months worth of bills to average and verify how much this choice costs. 

 

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742)

Audit Power Bill - $116, 

 

Benevolence

Samurai, on the basis of strict adherence to a moral code that is built on doing what is right, must consider the well-being of others as a top priority. After all, the purpose of being ready and willing to die is in service of others, both the lord and the layman. Life and limb aren't the only aspects that encompass "well-being," of course.  Mundane day-to-day things matter as well, especially among friends and family. Traditionally, poetry and music were "gentler" pastimes samurai used to help foster love toward others while living in a role that requires the willingness and ability to do violence on demand. Now I'm not into poetry (writing, on the other hand...) and my instruments are in a rather...sad state after 16-ish years languishing in a closet.

 

Within and Without: Love

Last week I did a thing that might be unprecedented: I bought a Mother's Day card one week ahead of time. Enough time I could actually mail it if I trusted the post office after what it did to mom's Christmas card she sent to me (it got torn in half diagonally). No way in the layers of heck am I risking this card, I'm going to stick it in her box myself sneaky-like tonight. Best of both worlds. So yeah, this is what this goal is about--doing things for other people where I don't stand to gain anything directly from trying to be a better human being. I got donations set up now, so we'll see if that works out. Dad's still training--I need to keep up with both his programming and checking in on him so that he has some accountability (we're still not entirely living in Doing This For Me Land yet...). I did pretty well at getting dinner ready at a not-completely-unholy hour. Let's keep that up. I haven't forgotten about first aid training, either.

 

Learn first-aid - 61%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 0/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

The samurai idea of politeness or decorum consists of two interconnected parts: manners and a sense that there is a proper way to do essentially anything. Manners is an extension of benevolence in that one genuinely cares about others well-being while at the same time not hiding behind it as a coward's shield from calling a spade a spade when warranted. Propriety dictates that there is order in everything, even the peaceful pastimes. Whatever you do, do it well. There's joy in simplicity and single-focus in the moment without distractions. 

 

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse count was a tremendous success at virtually eliminating swearing in my parents' house--from a dozen or more times per night to 4 curses total. Time to expand it to work. This should be child's play, as I do not vent openly nearly as much at work. Speaking of that...no more excessive talking at meetings unless it's got to do with a current work item or a problem I expect to solve then and there.

 

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 0/20

 

Without: Do 道

I. Just. Love. Calligraphy. I still don't need to spend a lot of money here, although more colored brush markers would be pretty sweet, there's a Youtube video sitting in my queue that needs watching, it looks like it will be helpful to introduce actual concepts of Japanese calligraphy vs me just trying to be all monkey see monkey do.

 

Watch Shodo Lesson

Drawing Japanese Characters - 0/4

 

Honesty

It's the best policy. The counterbalance to Politeness has arrived. Not only is this virtue meant to work in tandem with Courage to be sure we aren't staying silent in the face of badness for fear of ruffling feathers, it also is the currency or "credit" of one's word in the case of a shadow of a doubt. You know your girl doesn't really have trouble speaking her mind, it might be a bit too much of this virtue is applied (hence the Shut Up goal previously mentioned).

 

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

I can't be lying to myself. The most obvious honesty vis a vis NF is understanding that I know how much I am signing myself up for and whether I can keep commitments. In a word, how good am I at setting targets for myself each month? How many things am I dropping and why? When I say I can't do something, is it because it was truly out-classed in importance or am I just avoiding it? Am I just making eyes at shiny new hobbies (dusty old ones...) that I have no way to actually making part of my life without it coming at the expense of something else?

 

Marksmanship

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

I can't be lying to other people, either. I suppose a good way to touch on this goal without feeding the Too Much of a Good Thing beast is to evaluate each day to see how often I say things I don't mean. Mostly hyperbole and suggesting I will do things I have no intention of doing, as is common. Maybe avoiding conflict with my husband by not saying what I really think because Tired. That happens a lot, too. 

 

Liar Liar - 0/28

 

Weekly Debriefs:

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

[Mistr]

Lots of high level goals for next month. That shows just how far you have come from the daily survival goals of a year ago.

[Urgan]

5/6/2019

Mood

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

Started out rough, benches were all occupied and I had gotten to the gym late as it was, so.

We did the monkey-in-the-middle style not-quite-randori again, which I do not like even a small bit. Kept my yap shut. 

 

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 1/8

Video Technique Review - 0/8

Buki Waza Review - 0/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742),

Audit Power Bill - $116, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 0/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 0/20

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson

Drawing Japanese Characters - 0/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 1/28

 

Slowly making some bench progress. 4 sets of 104lb doubles, one more set than I did last month. IIRC, time as much as nerves was a limiting factor. Time was limited here, too. Giant shrug. Work was frustrating specifically because the only thing on my plate was Low Priority and pretty much everyone got to hear about it between looking for the person who could help and me just being irritated--at least today you can't say I was 100% honest about my sentiments and committed to going ahead and declining the invite to a dumb team-building event for Friday that was advertised as optional when normally I try to slide by unnoticed and end up getting confronted at the last moment.  I topped off my parents' programming, so they won't be wondering what to do for a little while. Lying down time is still glorious and I may never get over it, guess I haven't since kindergarten (I would be so very down to lie on a cot and listen to a record of Benji and sleep for however long after lunch in the early afternoon....). zero Zero ZERO cursing at my parents house, probably none at work, at least none after I made that a thing lol.

 

We didn't work on any real techniques, just farting around with kokyunage variations. Came home and stayed up waaaaaay too late trying to work on a bonus mission. I want to get my outline sync'd to my phone so I could work on my writing whenever, but. After getting OneNote and OneDrive all installed and the issues between laptop and phone worked out and whatnot, it turns out that even though I have both of these things on my computer, in requires a ~Office 365 subscription~ that I've managed to go years without having to pay for because #physicalmedia baby. So I noped right out of that. Back to the drawing board. Evernote is okay, but first, I don't want to have to copy-paste 20 tabs of stuff in the exact sequence or else it has to be done over (what is sorting notes, Evernote?) and second, the formatting is butts and would have to be redone. It makes me sad, because I thought maybe I'd have an easy way to make more progress. Nope. I can just jot down thoughts, sure, but in adding them in context with the ability to adjust said context would be a game-changer.

 

18 hours ago, Mistr said:

Lots of high level goals for next month. That shows just how far you have come from the daily survival goals of a year ago.

 

Thanks. I'm tapping into the Remember How it was There? a lot lately. 

[Urgan]

5/7/2019

New tools, new problems

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

-

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 1/8

Video Technique Review - 1/8

Buki Waza Review - 1/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742),

Audit Power Bill - $116, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 61%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 1/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 1/20

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 15%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 1/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 2/28

 

Yesterday was a kaleidoscope of futility. What is productivity? I did manage to keep my yap shut except for relevant things at work. Rest time came late and was less helpful, because I picked up a headache that haunted me off and on at increasing intensity for the rest of the day. I watched a bit of the shodo lesson, tried to write the kanji for shinjitsu (failed), and managed to start dinner before 9, though it took a long time to make. It's hard to get out of bed when you're operating just barely sub-migraine. I watched a technique video and did buki waza, which I wasn't sure I was up for but I fear losing them worse than anything right now. In that spirit, I doubled the goal.

 

The very last thing I did was migrate stuff over to Evernote. My opinion is....mixed. In terms of usability, it's just not as good as OneNote. * adjusts glasses * Ahem. Problems in the order of discovery:

- With OneNote, I can create notes in any order and manually sort them. Evernote insists on auto-sorts. This is a problem when you are trying to sequence events in a story and you'd really rather have chapters be discrete notes so you can see the major progression of events just by looking at titles.

- On a desktop/laptop there is no cursor on the screen, you must use touch controls and hope to Jesus you clicked the right thing. Or watch it not respond, decide you did not click the right thing, and give it another stab until Success.

- Editing a note seems to require multi-tapping the body of the note, right clicking, clicking off of the context menu with a tap of the note body, and voila you can now edit even though I see my cursor in the body of the note from giving it focus by clicking in the note body in the first place.

- Sometimes it refuses to use the right letter/numeric just because and to get around that I have to copy a line of text with the correct letter/numeric and paste it in-line to work around the limitation

- Forget ever using Roman numerals. Ever. You will use arabics and you will like it.

- The app version does not allow reverse sorting; the desktop version does. Sequence of events are backwards whee.

 

OH WELL. Back to writing in a different color (highlighted...because Evernote doesn't have colored text either...?) and potentially migrating back to OneNote when I'm at the point of polishing this turkey for actual writing on le laptop. Not sure. It remains to be seen if the benefits of being able to add to the outline anywhere/anytime outweigh these annoyances. Because I don't want to give Microsoft $100/year for the thing I already have. Bah. Admittedly I have looked it two times and I may be able to hack this program a bit better. Gotta love working around a tool instead of the tool just working...

 

This has been the Tuesday Edition of Urgan is a Cheapskate.

[Urgan]

5/8/2019 + 5/9/2019

Points for trying?

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

Gym is getting easier to not be on high alert now.

Judo and I do not get along. My femurs are too short for it to be of any use re: starting from any kind of guard unless I am trying to maim a small child. We basically did things that meant I was the kid sitting in a chair with legs dangling off the edge uselessly. I did not bring my A game to this, but I didn't say exactly what was on my mind, so yay that..?

 

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 2/8

Video Technique Review - 1/8

Buki Waza Review - 2/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742),

Audit Power Bill - $116, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 66%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 2/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 2/19

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 15%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 1/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 2/27

 

I lowered some of the daily goals by one since Thursday was a mulligan on work-related goals.

 

Wednesday...I don't really remember all that much about it, guess it was normal-ish. Oh, that's right I had work to do so time passed more quickly and it was okay up until 4 when my face decided to totally malfunction for the rest of the day? As in, if I wasn't in the dojo getting hot and moving around I was probably sniffling, sneezing, and struggling to breathe at random. This is a new trick, usually it happens Tuesdays and Thursdays, and it doesn't follow me home like a lost puppy. 

 

I woke up sniffly and low energy on Thursday, so I carpe'd my diem back to bed because I wasn't taking any chances it would be Sinus Malady Twister day. I think it was a good call, because the sniffles returned in the evening, suggesting that is precisely what would have happened. Giant shrug. I did watch some first aid training, did some light housework, did buki waza training (but forgot to watch a video, I just realized...), and made dinner timely. It was fried rice, and it had 8 eggs dumped into it because I wanted to get rid of that carton. #precisemacrosftw

 

Speaking of macros, it was really tricky making those work out, due in large part to choosing low cal meals and my first solid food happening at 2PM (I just wasn't hungry when I finally did get out of bed). Also, my early morning food was at work, so I had to utilize Instacart. Thankfully for the delivery person, it wasn't storming like mad when I asked for her to come by. This week really hasn't been a whole lot easier than last week, except for having worked out some of the gym angst that'd been hanging around waaaaay too long. The culprit just isn't showing up as much/as long as he usually does. Not sure if it has anything to do with me, recognizing that we are all the center of our worlds, or the length of time he can let his dog sit in his car while he alternates between working out and socializing. Poor thing is always losing its mind when I walk past every morning.

[Mistr]

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

 

Judo and I do not get along. My femurs are too short for it to be of any use re: starting from any kind of guard unless I am trying to maim a small child. We basically did things that meant I was the kid sitting in a chair with legs dangling off the edge uselessly. I did not bring my A game to this, but I didn't say exactly what was on my mind, so yay that..?

 

I can't speak about Judo, but being short is a tremendous advantage in aikido. It takes a while to get to the level that you can use it. Usually sometime around 1st kyu. Once you get the hang of taking uke's balance and extending down, your aikido becomes devastating. There is also an important component of keeping your posture so that you can ground out energy from big people throwing their weight around. I've seen one of our senior people who is about 5'1" set herself so that a 6'4", 250 lb uke bounced off of her. It was glorious. You have great things to look forward to.

 

I hope the sinus woes are temporary. There is a lot of allergy stuff going around. At least you know that will end soon.

[Urgan]

1 minute ago, Mistr said:

I can't speak about Judo, but being short is a tremendous advantage in aikido. It takes a while to get to the level that you can use it. Usually sometime around 1st kyu. Once you get the hang of taking uke's balance and extending down, your aikido becomes devastating. There is also an important component of keeping your posture so that you can ground out energy from big people throwing their weight around. I've seen one of our senior people who is about 5'1" set herself so that a 6'4", 250 lb uke bounced off of her. It was glorious. You have great things to look forward to.

 

The bigger/wider the human you are attempting to straddle, the longer your legs must necessarily be to have any useful leverage. A not particularly large female just existing renders my ability to powerfully transition from guard-land to side of the body lolriffic. If I were attempting to roll with a guy it would just be pitiful. You can probably compensate somehow, the way someone who is lefthanded can deal with righthanded school equipment. Aikido definitely puts the advantage in the hands of the short person. 

 

6 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I hope the sinus woes are temporary. There is a lot of allergy stuff going around. At least you know that will end soon.

 

They tend to be worst as the temperatures flail around trying to decide what season it is. Happens twice-ish a year.

[shaar]

Hello hi waving at you from the ALLERGIES WHY caravan, welcome

 

My face is so dry and blotchy I look like I should be living under a bridge and challenging passerby with 3 riddles JFC.

[Urgan]

5/10/2019 - 5/12/2019

...in my bed...with the lights off...because I'm asleep now

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

I am winning at this. Head down, brain out of thinking about the people around me. Easy.

 

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 2/8

Video Technique Review - 2/8

Buki Waza Review - 2/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742), $329 ($374)

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 66%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 2/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 3/19

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 15%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 1/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

- I still expect myself to check cat food/water, brush teeth, floss, and spray down the shower on the regular

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 3/27

 

Friday was really strange. No annoying people at the gym, I had a decent session. We worked a half day, then spent most of the other half in a department-wide meeting, then the last two hours were heavily pressured mandatory putt-putt fun that I and another girl bowed out of for multiple reasons. Our managers attempted to apply social pressure in a group setting, but I don't think it had any effect. It didn't with me, had he tried I might have offered him my badge because I am driven that crazed by managers trying to force subordinates to do things in the name of having fun but in the final analysis it's all about them. I managed to get out there without doing anything stupid, went home, ordered seafood and groceries, and generally adopted the slug life. I think that counts as complete honesty without looking for a confrontation.

 

Saturday was perfect except it ended. And I wish I'd had more gumption with squats, but oh well can't have everything. I got a haircut finally. 

 

Sunday I made up for not watching a technique video, updated my resume (but it needs to get put somewhere I can access it....), checked in with dad's training, brushed kitty cats, made dinner, and took all the naps. Unfortunately I stayed up too late, so this week is off to an interesting start already....

[Urgan]

5/13/2019

You tell 'em

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

Pretty good day here, all things considered. Sensei swapped plow pose/hollow body holds for some of the pushups we do for warmup and gleefully noted the ab work we were doing. I told him he misspelled "torture." (Because that's all ab work is good for.)

 

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 3/8

Video Technique Review - 2/8

Buki Waza Review - 3/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742), $329 ($374)

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 72%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 2/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 4/19

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 15%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 1/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

- I still expect myself to check cat food/water, brush teeth, floss, and spray down the shower on the regular

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 4/27

 

Wow, this day though. So I set myself up for success with around 3 hours of sleep the night before, pro move. Still managed to get a .5lb 3RM *PR of 101.5 for 4x3. Somehow. I was dragging until around 2PM, which is when I got a forwarded email from my boss about picture day (we'd gotten notice this was happening like, a month ago, with reminders). It was a forwarded email from the photographer telling us what to wear, and for me he had a flipping uniform in mind. Which was cool given I do not own a blazer of any color, nor do I have the perfect white/light color shirt to go under said blazer because I generally stay away from white shirts as a general policy. That caused a minor panic attack, because yay half a day to course correct from what I was going to wear. Actually talking with my boss and he's like, no don't go out and buy anything just wear something interview-appropriate. And apparently the guys were also in a similar boat with their required attire. Sigh. Why. Somewhere in there I worked on first aid training.

 

I told my husband I didn't want to be responsible for making decisions about how to fill out the beds in shaded areas, because I didn't know anything about shade-loving plants or exactly how much sun these new beds he's making will get because nothing aside from moss ever grew there. I don't want to be responsible for having to figure out the intersection of what will live in these spots and what is available because that basically means I am knee deep in it with him in about 10 seconds. He texts me questions that mean he's trying to make me decide things anyhow and this time I backed straight out of issuing an opinion instead of obliging for the 800th time, because it never ends. You try to be nice, explain more or less how you feel without punching him in the gut, it doesn't work. The reason I don't want responsibility/involvement with this is when it gets hot and the plants demand attention or else they die. Imagine that. He gets short-tempered with me as a result of worrying about the state of the plants, so screw plants, I say. I haven't said that part yet, but that's the next step. I tried to be honest and diplomatic, y'all. If you couldn't tell, keeping the curse count to 0 was a challenge today.

 

Dojo time was yokomenuchi kotegaeshi again, we'd done it one other time and I pat myself on the back just for being the only one to recognize this. That went okay, it was more like polishing time than hey, what do I do with my feet? A weird thing for a purple belt technique already, but okay. Went home and reviewed both that and all the buki waza.

 

*bench

[Urgan]

5/14/2019

Meal Prep

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

-

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 3/8

Video Technique Review - 3/8

Buki Waza Review - 3/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742), $329 ($374)

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 72%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 3/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 4/19

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 15%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 1/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

- I still expect myself to check cat food/water, brush teeth, floss, and spray down the shower on the regular

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 5/27

 

This was a very emotionally stressful day and it wasn't really anyone's fault except maybe mine. I woke up late for picture day, which was good because I thought of a hundred contingencies in the little time I had. Managed to make it to work on time, proceed to be super stressed about the pictures because I hate getting my picture taken because I'm a neurotic introvert that doesn't have smiling on command down. Unless you want to document what a psycho looks like, I've got that look on lock-down. I had enough work to occupy me most of the day, so at least I had that going for me. I think the midday siesta is helping the severity and likelihood of headaches come the evening. It isn't enough to completely overcome my truly stupid sleep deprivation, however.

 

I sorta napped a little in the evening, but dinnertime came way too soon. Dinner started out...frustrating, due to circumstances involving mental capacity to think critically. The agenda was trout and leeks. The fish was frozen in plastic packaging that would make extracting said fish difficult at best. I was thinking on how to address this when my husband ambled into the kitchen was starting to futz with dishes, to my consternation. The kitchen is small and if he starts up with doing dishes I cannot cook. But I couldn't articulate what I needed because I didn't know what I needed. So I was just like, we got frozen fish. He looks at it and asks if it's microwave safe, and I'm like, probably not. So he sticks them in the sink submerged in water. At this point I am holding an unwashed leek and I'm like, but I gotta wash these. Out comes the straining rack from the other sink basin we never use. Cue extensive, awkward washing of long, mangled-from-day-of-delivery leeks because leeks be really, really gritty. Well that's about how this week has been--I guess if you want to spin the absolute bejeezus out of this, I managed to navigate the eye of the needle of not just shutting down and letting him do whatever for lack of functioning brain cells and having a nice little outburst. ...yay?

 

Made up for not being able to scoop the cat box due to losing those precious 20 minutes of morning prep time, still hit my Japanese practice, all the unspoken ex-goals that are supposed to be a given now but are actually kind of hard to remember lately for obvious reasons, and watched katatetori sankyo (done from kneeling, uke standing). That's going to be hilarious when it comes time to work on it. 

[Cataleya]

I'd say you did what you could, given the circumstances. I have those days where I'm just... frustrated with everything. Kind of had one of those today, but felt sick so had a harder time getting through. Still biking to get my 10000 steps.

You do what you can.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

[Urgan]

5/15/2019

This is entirely too relatable; or, why we don't deep fry more things

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

A+ no kvetching

 

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 4/8

Video Technique Review - 3/8

Buki Waza Review - 3/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742), $329 ($374)

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 72%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 3/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 5/19

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 15%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 1/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

- I still expect myself to check cat food/water, brush teeth, floss, and spray down the shower on the regular

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 6/27

 

Slowly I am seeing evidence that my squats are going back to "normal" in terms of how 180+lbs moves, in spite of myself. Not being at my desk for an hour is still the best thing ever. 

 

Mom had a bad episode of vertigo/dizziness in the morning and we had a long talk about what diagnostic efforts she could make to narrow down the cause (dehydration, insufficient calories, and blood pressure medication need changes were favorite) for why this particular day started the way it did. She didn't take in as much of anything as she needed to the day prior for no reason but forgetfulness--she wasn't sick or upset or anything. She's been going to the gym regularly twice a week and last week she went three times. Hence the suspicion that her blood pressure is going to trend down because that's a thing strength training can do for people who have "elevated" blood pressure, so with meds on top of that it overcompensates and blood pressure can dip lower than optimal. She wasn't feeling it the morning of writing this, so it's not setting in steady. It may happen again if it's BP-related, maybe she just didn't eat. Sometimes she'll wake up ravenous (we have a history of waking up despising the very thought of food for several hours, so this is a stark lifestyle change), so it's possibly an unfortunate coincidence. 

 

Dojo was the last yoko. kotegaeshi, radial hold. Then we did all of them, left and right, irimi and tenkan. Then we did them again on right side in front of Sensei to prove the assertion we had a grasp of them. Then we ran through Jo Kata II before doing randori-ish (there was a lot of reciprocal attacking going on, which happens with odd-numbered classes). In the course of randori-ish I gave a red belt hell trying to pin me, so he resorted to a leg pin I was unfamiliar with. Now I have a limp! Yay! Went home and reviewed all three versions of the week's technique. Japanese lessons. Ate all the food. Turned out the light late. Story of my life recently.

 

11 hours ago, Cataleya said:

I'd say you did what you could, given the circumstances. I have those days where I'm just... frustrated with everything. Kind of had one of those today, but felt sick so had a harder time getting through. Still biking to get my 10000 steps.

You do what you can.

 

Yeah, we don't all have showcase-ready days. That one was just particularly bizarre.