Urgan Shows Up, Does the Thing

[Urgan]

5/31/2019 - 6/2/2019

Doing a lot of this lately

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness)

Aces. 

 

Without: Giri

Buy New External Harddrive

Update Resume

Clean kitchen counters

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean sinks

Clean microwave

Mop floor

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Class Technique Review - 8/8

Video Technique Review - 8/8

Buki Waza Review - 8/8

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Gun Research

Laptop Cleaning Research

Automated Testing Research

Audit Grocery Bill - $780 ($880), $589 ($742), $706 ($845)

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Learn first-aid - 100%

Dad Programming

Dad Training - 3/4

9:00 Dinner - 8/8

Cat grooming - 3/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 1

Silence is Golden - 11/19

 

Without: Do 道

Watch Shodo Lesson - 100%

Drawing Japanese Characters - 5/4

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

Marksmanship

- doubled the requirement for buki waza

- I still expect myself to check cat food/water, brush teeth, floss, and spray down the shower on the regular

 

One hiccup can lead to a lot of missed beats...priorities shift, so it looks like I don't do as much as I actually do. I'm at peace with this, because we can't schedule everything and gotta strike while we're inspired sometimes.

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Liar Liar - 20/27

 

It's not every Friday you spring a new skill on your entire department. Then your boss says duplicate it in another IDE and language. And you do. Within an hour and a half. Java and C# are sisters from a different mister. Thank God for that. I'm also hitting four browsers for the price of one, but only Chrome doesn't care our website is certificate-less, so it's the only one actually hitting the page with my test. Ah well. Not my problem!

 

Grocery time includes the actual cost of groceries, in the interest of accurate data. It was ~$80 from Instacart, but it in fact cost me $15. How? You select a delivery window of say, 8-9PM. You fall asleep for a few minutes between 7:35 and 8:05. Delivery arrives at 7:55, doorbell is rung once at 7:56 and again at 7:57 (thank you security system logging...). Two phone call attempts at 8:07 and 8:08. I wake up right as the second call stops, realize oh SNAP groceries. I go out and flag her down before she backs out of my driveway at 8:09, explain what happened and apologize. She waves it off as NBD and delivers my groceries. My order cancel email hits my inbox at 8:11, explaining the cost of the order will be refunded, but since they tried to deliver within my time window I'm out a $15 fee. Make of that technicality what you will. Anyway. They didn't wait until they confirmed she'd backed out of my driveway to cancel the thing, so it's their loss! Hopefully not hers, because the cancel happened while she was standing in my kitchen. Giant shrug.

 

I did well in the gym, low stress. Well, low emotional stress. 205lb squat singles and a 210lb single is an acceptable kind of stress, followed by 5 232lb deadlift singles. Acceptable doubly so given it feels like I am coming back from the programming fail I did myself earlier in the year. I've spent a goodly bit of my free time in the office, cleaning and weeding through books that just aren't going to cut the mustard. I'm feeling a little better about that room in general now. 

 

Sunday I tried out my new brush marker pen and it is amazing. Turns out I don't completely suck at Japanese calligraphy, my brush just wasn't quite up to standard. 

 

 

 

You know, I expected a lot out of myself this month. And it's only 5 of an 8 month sequence! The only place I did really bad was in shutting up. Go figure. I can't draw conclusions on power bill yet, partly because I've been using the AC more than last year (because it was broken last year and so pointless to let it kick on much) and I haven't gotten the most recent month's bill yet, so I only have two bills at this point to go on. That's okay, it's just a dysfunction between their billing cycles and the actual calendar month. The final count on groceries is

 

With Instacart: $173/week or $805/month

Without Insta: $140/week or $645/month (average of typical numbers)

 

This isn't including the stuff I get from Sprouts because I don't have data on that behavior. Fuzzy memory suggests I am operating within or below normal spending habits there. So we're looking at an increase of $35/week to $160/month. And yet as the months go by we seem to have more money on any given day, perhaps the boon of not having this money come flying out of our account. I don't know about you, but $35 to not have to deal with other shoppers nearly as much (in some places the store mark-up at Publix via Instacart can be as high as 3X what I pay buying it myself....) and to not have to be treated like a criminal seems like a pretty good deal. I anticipate this service will become more commonplace and competition will force the price of the store markup down. I'd rather more of the difference in price go to keep the delivery people cheerful. 

[Urgan]

June 2019 Goals

Come at Me

 

Wow, May hit hard and fast. I've changed a few things in my work routine to attempt to roll with the punches, results vary depending on what you're looking for. Bought a killer brush marker. I'm interested in my library again. Struggling to fit all my interests and all my responsibilities in the same week. You know, the more things change the more they stay the same.

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Bushido.

 

Justice/Rectitude 

To recap, this is "morally correct behavior or thinking; righteousness." 

A backstop of morally correct behavior is Giri--you do the thing because it is the right thing to do, not because you feel like it that day.

 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

I am expanding the requirement to no complaining in the morning meeting UNLESS I am asking my boss to address something that is negatively affecting our work. AKA, productive kvetching or none at all. I'm not going to journal about when I do, that just seems to make the problem worse by drawing my mind to it, just note if I did or didn't Do the Thing.

 

Without: Giri

money Money MONEY we can has it. I don't know why, but we has it. Maybe it's because my radio is trying to follow the example of my laptop. Or we both need a year's contact lenses. No idea. Anyhow, we are in a good place financially and I will take it. 

 

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

A generally agreed-upon definition of courage is "knowing what's right and doing it." Samurai define it as intelligent risk-taking, or "the betweenness of cowardice and rashness" as I saw posted online and rather liked because it really concisely sums my understanding of the Bushido virtue. Not using risk as an excuse to not act or just acting blindly.

 

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Going strong here. I see no reason to let up. Streamlining the goal counter and nothing more--we're still reviewing what happened in class and a video of my choice on off days. 

 

Technique Review - 0/16

Buki Waza Review - 0/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

These are distinguished from Giri in that they are not simple to-do tasks, require significant monetary expense, and/or are at the least intimidating. I need to step beyond the intimidation and investigate the below.

 

I'm back-seating gun research for now because there are more pressing matters to attend. Due to my experimentation with self-service failing, I need to call the computer shop (I already know which one...) and see what it will take to evaluate the remaining lifespan of the poor laptop. I'm going to try to synchronize this with my eye exam day to get the most of a half day at work.

 

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, 

 

Benevolence

Samurai, on the basis of strict adherence to a moral code that is built on doing what is right, must consider the well-being of others as a top priority. After all, the purpose of being ready and willing to die is in service of others, both the lord and the layman. Life and limb aren't the only aspects that encompass "well-being," of course.  Mundane day-to-day things matter as well, especially among friends and family. Traditionally, poetry and music were "gentler" pastimes samurai used to help foster love toward others while living in a role that requires the willingness and ability to do violence on demand. Now I'm not into poetry (writing, on the other hand...) and my instruments are in a rather...sad state after 16-ish years languishing in a closet.

 

Within and Without: Love

Donations are rocking and rolling--we are giving a great deal more than we have in the past, which isn't saying much. But helping fund two Youtube creators, two international anti-child trafficking organizations, and the occasional one-off cause isn't nothing. The rest remains as it was, because I need the reminder.

 

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 0/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

The samurai idea of politeness or decorum consists of two interconnected parts: manners and a sense that there is a proper way to do essentially anything. Manners is an extension of benevolence in that one genuinely cares about others well-being while at the same time not hiding behind it as a coward's shield from calling a spade a spade when warranted. Propriety dictates that there is order in everything, even the peaceful pastimes. Whatever you do, do it well. There's joy in simplicity and single-focus in the moment without distractions. 

 

Within: Rēsetsu

Keeping up with the cursing because why not. I'm not really feeling like they're required to express my feelings most of the time. And I really don't need to express myself too much in the meetings, it's getting easier because the meeting time is shrinking quite a lot. Yay on all fronts.

 

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 0/20

 

Without: Do 道

Moar kanji plz.

 

Drawing Japanese Characters - 0/8

 

Honesty

It's the best policy. The counterbalance to Politeness has arrived. Not only is this virtue meant to work in tandem with Courage to be sure we aren't staying silent in the face of badness for fear of ruffling feathers, it also is the currency or "credit" of one's word in the case of a shadow of a doubt. You know your girl doesn't really have trouble speaking her mind, it might be a bit too much of this virtue is applied (hence the Shut Up goal previously mentioned).

 

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

I can't be lying to myself. The most obvious honesty vis a vis NF is understanding that I know how much I am signing myself up for and whether I can keep commitments. In a word, how good am I at setting targets for myself each month? How many things am I dropping and why? When I say I can't do something, is it because it was truly out-classed in importance or am I just avoiding it? Am I just making eyes at shiny new hobbies (dusty old ones...) that I have no way to actually making part of my life without it coming at the expense of something else?

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

I can't be lying to other people, either. I suppose a good way to touch on this goal without feeding the Too Much of a Good Thing beast is to evaluate each day to see how often I say things I don't mean. Mostly hyperbole and suggesting I will do things I have no intention of doing, as is common. Maybe avoiding conflict with my husband by not saying what I really think because Tired. That happens a lot, too. 

 

Say (Only) What You Mean - 0/28

 

Honor

Honor is a two-edged sword. It can propel us through the densest of obstacles and the darkest of times for the sake of your immortal reputation, to the benefit of yourself and others. It can also propel you to take terribly erroneous action (or inaction) because on the other side of this coin is pride. And we know what comes after pride....

It's a balancing act to make sure you are acting for the right reasons. This obviously ties back to prior virtues.

 

Within: Sotsugyu Already

I'm not seeing jobs (that aren't headhunters fishing for heads) in the pool to which I feel good about applying. I also need to sharpen my automated testing skills. It won't do to hold onto the bile from May. Bad things can, do, and will happen. I will keep looking at the job market to see what is available against the chance that a really good opportunity shows up and/or something egregious occurs.

 

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

I have taken an interest in the condition of the office. It would shame even the rattiest of ancestor in the state it was in a week ago. It's...still shameful. Let's leave it at that for now. The below is a list of actions that if done will restore healthy domestic pride (and make it more easy to navigate the office). 

 

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

 

Debriefs: 

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4

[Urgan]

6/3/2019

Everybody was...

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

- I'm going to do this thing.

 

Without: Giri

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 1/16

Buki Waza Review - 1/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 0/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 1/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- Once again I have an ambitious lineup, but this time I think the goals are more "fun" in general, particularly the ones I have added.

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 1/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- I created this goal to remind myself to release the bile of frustration with my work to the extent that releasing it is called for. So far the answer to that is yes.

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- A bench 2RM PR of 104.5lbs, seeing my parents' mostly completed kitchen reno, and an invite to be promoted to the Inner Sanctum of the dojo, which involves a black stripe on my belt, a black belt hanging in the dojo awaiting the day I finally test for that, and access to iaido and judo training once a month. So. That happened. On a completely unrelated note, I know why we have money now. Two batches of contact lenses, car tag renewals, and now advanced dojo training are all competing with one another this month. To speak nothing of the major car repair husband's car needs. Ah well, we'll live. It may mean pushing out the non-critical stuff a month, though.

[Urgan]

6/4/2019

Tuesday feels

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

-

 

Without: Giri

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 2/16

Buki Waza Review - 1/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 1/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 2/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- The main challenge will be getting financials to fly together and not drop the responsibility ball.

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 2/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- I'm not as upset as I was most of May, but there's a difference between being in emotional turmoil and not appreciating the negative changes that have occurred. 

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- A boring day, really, made hard because I stayed up until 1:30 reading on Little Women and Werewolves until I reminded myself of how the original ended (I forgot how books of this era pair characters up for a goodly portion of the plot then they have a stroke and decide to marry some random person from out of left field.) and I let a 200 year old book wreck my mood. Why. Such is the power of furry monsters to make me care about Lit for two whole hours. Moved on quickly to A Madness of Angels, which so far is promising to be more my speed. I am looking at other mashup books for the future, because I'm an idiot apparently, but am restrained by the fact that I have 160+ books still hanging around on my shelves. My younger self hoarded books like a chipmunk from the Game of Thrones universe might hoard nuts for...you know, winter. Now it's time to deal with that a bit and work it down to something less insane. There's also the matter of the digital books I have bought. First, I probably need to catalog those to get an idea of how much digital content I have consumed compared to my physical collection and second, I need to decide if it's worth eventually buying some/all of them in dead tree format because Reasons. But not now.

 

Went to bed just a smidge after midnight tonight, which was a blow for sanity given I was quite engrossed in my new book and its tiny font.

[Mistr]

Catching up.

 

Gee, your company is just all sweetness and light, aren't they? 

 

I don't see the point of having a dress code for employees who are not customer-facing. It's one thing for safety concerns. I agree that a policy of no exposed legs and toes in the lab makes sense. But for sitting at a desk? Who cares?

 

Congratulations on implementing the automated testing software. At least you are getting to do new and career-enhancing things at work.

 

Yay for moving into the inner circle in aikido! Yay for PRs!

 

I admire your resolve in going through old books. I can occassionally get Dumbledore to sort through the books, but getting the old ones out of the house is like pulling teeth. And he has a steady habit of buying new books.  

[Urgan]

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

Gee, your company is just all sweetness and light, aren't they? 

 

I don't see the point of having a dress code for employees who are not customer-facing. It's one thing for safety concerns. I agree that a policy of no exposed legs and toes in the lab makes sense. But for sitting at a desk? Who cares?

 

They are pushing every. single. button on the panel. 

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

Congratulations on implementing the automated testing software. At least you are getting to do new and career-enhancing things at work.

 

Some days I care more about it than others lol. Got to figure out how best to organize these test cases before I make up a bunch of them then have to redo work.

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

Yay for moving into the inner circle in aikido! Yay for PRs!

 

I'm gonna get a new belt with a black stripe and I'm gonna do iaido and maybe judo but probably not.... and I am so hype. My wallet....not-so-much. I am told by Sensei he can procure a training iaito for cheap, but you know I'm going to end up with a $300 one sooner than later.....at least I already have a sword bag from that failure of a dojo that claimed to be practicing Shinkendo. If I am able to get a steel one (probably not, but IF I can...), it will come with it a responsibility to clean it more regularly than an alloy one. * has done 30 minutes of research * So. 

 

3 hours ago, Mistr said:

I admire your resolve in going through old books. I can occassionally get Dumbledore to sort through the books, but getting the old ones out of the house is like pulling teeth. And he has a steady habit of buying new books.  

 

Have you considered putting them all in boxes and saying if he doesn't go through and sort them out they're all going to book Heaven? The image of my bookshelves slowly sagging into Oblivion and taking all the Final Fantasy figures down with them weighs on my conscience like the weight of the very earth itself. 

[Urgan]

6/5/2019

Advancement

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

Aces.

 

Without: Giri

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 2/16

Buki Waza Review - 1/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 1/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 3/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- The main challenge will be getting financials to fly together and not drop the responsibility ball.

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 3/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- I'm not as upset as I was most of May, but there's a difference between being in emotional turmoil and not appreciating the negative changes that have occurred. 

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- Gym was okay, not looking around very much FTW. Stayed shut up for the most part. Cracked a few jokes, as one does, but did about as much talking as the intern did, so I call that a win. Dodged a doofus who wanted to know what my lunch was. He is on the record as putting down my breakfast beverage in the guise of a joke on two occasions (same joke...not even points for originality), so the answer he got was "food" and "the kind you eat" to the revised question of "What kind of food?" Because I don't feel obligated to list the ingredients of my homemade leftovers and extend myself for the privilege of getting kicked in the teeth. #nope Apparently he was supremely confused about my unwillingness to give him ammunition, which actually made me laugh. 

 

Network issues at work made productivity a LOL for a goodly part of the day. 

 

We got our promotions at the dojo, so I have a patch to sew on and an evening to rearrange on Friday. Iaido is at 6:30, so it's going to be a Hustle to get there and ready to go, but it does present me with an opportunity to offload a bunch of the stuff I'm accumulating to get rid of, as I'll be on the right side of town to visit a place I know buys most of the media types I'm trying to offload. I have taken down the eBay postings of the things that haven't sold yet--only five of them, not as many as I feared and a lot easier to do than I had for some reason assumed. No technique review because I am a slug that got home late and bed was too comfortable.

[Kishi]

Yay, new stuff! So this is a return to sword work for you, I believe? Should be fun stuff. @Shotokan could probably trade notes with you concerning Iaido.

[Urgan]

6 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Yay, new stuff! So this is a return to sword work for you, I believe? Should be fun stuff. @Shotokan could probably trade notes with you concerning Iaido.

 

We do a little bit of bokken shenanigans in Aikido, but this will herald my first use of an actual metal weapon. Even if it's gonna be an alloy for my first iaito almost certainly. That's about all I know so far. First class will be in a bit over 24 hours, so. Step 1 will probably involve not cutting myself drawing the (wooden) sword. I think the first couple classes will still be with mittens on for obvious reasons. My tiny, tiny practice that involved considering the existence of a saya does in fact exist, so at least I have that going for me. 

[Urgan]

6/6/2019

Move It, Move It

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

- 

Without: Giri

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Mop floor

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 3/16

Buki Waza Review - 1/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, 

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 0/4

9:00 Dinner - 2/8

Cat grooming - 0/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 4/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- The main challenge will be getting financials to fly together and not drop the responsibility ball.

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 4/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- 

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- The sellable/donatable media have been extricated from bed, closet, and bookshelves, packed into boxes, and are sitting in my car now. Whether I can deal with them soon is largely under the purview of the weather. I just need to move on getting rid of the clothes (once I have gotten husband to review the things in his wardrobe...) and removing towels from one of the bookshelves (bathroom cabinet flooded lo these two years ago and we're just now deciding it's safe to restore the cabinetry and return them to their old home). Also there are a bunch of figures I don't want anymore that I was considering selling but ugh and UGH on posting that stuff, much less shipping it out if it sold. 

 

Cooked eggs for dinner because I am a slug. 

[Mistr]

Good for you getting the outgoing stuff into your car. There is a bunch of stuff in the trunk of our Honda that Elf was going to drop off at the charity shop before they were banned from driving. Dumbledore just griped about that instead of dropping of the stuff himself. I put it on my to-do list for this weekend. The charity shop is quite close to where Elf works, and I promised to pick them up from work today. <rubs hands together>  I can get this one checked off today.

 

I don't know how you have the patience to deal with eBay sales. I know it is a good way to get money for stuff, but it is a lot of work.

[Urgan]

4 minutes ago, Mistr said:

Good for you getting the outgoing stuff into your car. There is a bunch of stuff in the trunk of our Honda that Elf was going to drop off at the charity shop before they were banned from driving. Dumbledore just griped about that instead of dropping of the stuff himself. I put it on my to-do list for this weekend. The charity shop is quite close to where Elf works, and I promised to pick them up from work today. <rubs hands together>  I can get this one checked off today.

 

If kvetching were fuel....although sometimes it is a heckuva coping mechanism, I will be the first to admit. 

 

Note to self: pick up everything on the floor that is husband's and stick it where he sits on the couch as mutually understood house parlance for "sort this out, buster." This is the way to get things done. Telling him to go through it is a really good way for that to not happen for yet another day when it's been two months or a year. So far it has worked with 95% success rate. I just have to be the one to fill the role of synthetic mother, which I kind of resent but at least as a trade I don't get back-sassed for "elevating" the issue, so to speak.

 

11 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I don't know how you have the patience to deal with eBay sales. I know it is a good way to get money for stuff, but it is a lot of work.

 

It's easy for standard media like games, dvds, and CDs--both to document, pack, and estimate shipping weight. Things that have more irregular shapes, parts that can snap off of the body of the item, large/heavy things....not so much. Just takes a couple of pics and a decent honest description of the condition of the item. And patience if your item is more niche than say, Legend of Zelda. The mission is to jettison dead weight, so if all else fails it goes to a charity. 

[Kishi]

On 6/7/2019 at 12:54 PM, Urgan said:

Note to self: pick up everything on the floor that is husband's and stick it where he sits on the couch as mutually understood house parlance for "sort this out, buster." This is the way to get things done. Telling him to go through it is a really good way for that to not happen for yet another day when it's been two months or a year. So far it has worked with 95% success rate. I just have to be the one to fill the role of synthetic mother, which I kind of resent but at least as a trade I don't get back-sassed for "elevating" the issue, so to speak.

 

Yeah, without wanting to talk bad about him, that's an example of the kind of conduct that I wish I didn't do. I wish I was over my own stuff enough that if I was with someone she wouldn't wind up having to take care of me... and yet somehow, I have a suspicion I'd wind up being like that anyway.  So. Sympathy!

[Urgan]

6/7/2019 - 6/9/2019

And There Was Much Rejoicing

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

Sort of less than perfect during Friday class, but in the battle of self-deprecation/complaining vs frustration I feel I picked the lesser of two evils. Two people came up to me while I was reading in between sets to remark about how I am reading in between sets and, since I was in the middle of a particularly engrossing novel, was kind of short with them. Polite, but short.

 

Without: Giri

Mop floor

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 4/16

Buki Waza Review - 1/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, $116

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 2/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 4/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- It occurred to me that I should be able to push computer repair/eyeball inspection to next month without the world exploding--this should give me all the room I need.

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 5/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- Nothing is turning up in the job search, so I am taking it as good that I've gone a whole week and there hasn't been any more boat-rocking action.

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- Friday was quite the odd day. After work, I hit up a doughnut shop on National Doughnut Day purely by accident because I needed coffee to get me through the evening. There was no time to stop at my parents' so I needed a surrogate source. Ate a doughnut. Didn't die. It was quite intense in terms of sugariness. I immediately discovered I need to practice drawing and sheathing a sword, because boy howdy am I bad at it. I was sorta giving Sensei the side-eye for suggesting I needed a smaller sword, but after handling two different lengths I am convinced it will be a necessity for me to not look like a two-lefthanded moron. Maybe later I could handle a longer one. We got through most of Iaito Kata I and II before drilling a random technique whose name I don't remember. I sort of have them in hand, will need more practice that goes together with the draw/sheathe issues I definitely have. I'm not disappointed in my performance per say, I recall how clumsy some simple-seeming movements are and I've never drilled with an actual saya (scabbard) before. After that adventure, I skipped judo to go sell off the four medium-sized boxes of books and other media I'd scraped together. Got about ~$100 for them cash and was able to dispose of the 25% of media they didn't outright buy into their "free to a good home" bin outside. The goal was to get rid of them and mission accomplished. Went to the grocery store for emergency rations, got tacos, headed home. The real miracle was managing to go in and out of 3 establishments without getting rained on and hauling all those boxes to and fro without anything being harmed. 

 

Saturday and Sunday were good. I am feeling more normal under the bar again, promising. Killed it in the cleaning department. All kinds of old barf throughout the house discovered and dispatched, cleaned the desk, took out the donatable clothes, the shreddables, and scrubbed the cat tree. RIP our poor vacuum had to work so hard. It almost looks like an office again and not a walk-in junk drawer. Oh, and I moved the stuff that was on the floor into its "elevated" position and like magic it's mostly gone. Mostly. There was a book amongst the stuff and I don't know if it was lent or donated to husband. It's still sitting on the couch. I will Inquire tonight if it is not gone.

 

All that's left to do is cover over the desk in (plexi-)glass and clean out a bookshelf's worth of junk that doesn't belong in the office. A few rolls of wrapping paper to relocate. Our power bill situation is looking pretty good, too. I hope that trend continues now that summer-like conditions are upon us.

[Urgan]

On 6/8/2019 at 11:05 AM, Kishi said:

Yeah, without wanting to talk bad about him, that's an example of the kind of conduct that I wish I didn't do. I wish I was over my own stuff enough that if I was with someone she wouldn't wind up having to take care of me... and yet somehow, I have a suspicion I'd wind up being like that anyway.  So. Sympathy!

 

In my darker moments, I want to say this is a male trait of leaving things around perpetually for later if expecting their mother to come behind and do it for them. Some men truly don't care and don't want to be told what needs doing even though clutter is clearly piling up because they don't see it as a problem at all.

But really what's happening is some people grow up telling themselves optimistic lies of how they will totally get to that thing tonight/tomorrow/in the morning/after work/this weekend. I think most people do this at some point in their life. Some just never grow out of it, perhaps because others step in and do it for them to such an extent that they never develop this aspect of personal responsibility. That is social influence of a kind within a family, perhaps working hand-in-hand with biology, who cares why when there's never been a good excuse for adults to leave things lying around. (That includes myself...most of the mess in the office is mine or off-shifting stuff for lack of a better place for it to be, but I never said I was going to do anything about it then leave it sitting for a year! I honestly never saw a place where I'd be in control of the rest of the house enough to deal with it. Amazing what the human mind is capable of.)

 

At least I can draw attention to loose ends without having to fight for my spouse to do his part--better than my mother can say, so I will count myself lucky on that front. The sheer amount of time that will be allowed to pass with things sitting where they don't belong unless someone else intervenes is downright impressive. Not with everything in husband's case, but with stuff that is new/needs a home. It'll just sit where it is initially put until my patience dies a slow agonizing death. If I don't have the energy to take action on it, no action is taken. 

 

The first step is to acknowledge when this optimistic lying is occurring right when it's first forming in your brain. You have to want to recognize it when it's starting in order to change the outcome.

[Kishi]

50 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

In my darker moments, I want to say this is a male trait of leaving things around perpetually for later if expecting their mother to come behind and do it for them. Some men truly don't care and don't want to be told what needs doing even though clutter is clearly piling up because they don't see it as a problem at all.

But really what's happening is some people grow up telling themselves optimistic lies of how they will totally get to that thing tonight/tomorrow/in the morning/after work/this weekend. I think most people do this at some point in their life. Some just never grow out of it, perhaps because others step in and do it for them to such an extent that they never develop this aspect of personal responsibility. That is social influence of a kind within a family, perhaps working hand-in-hand with biology, who cares why when there's never been a good excuse for adults to leave things lying around. (That includes myself...most of the mess in the office is mine or off-shifting stuff for lack of a better place for it to be, but I never said I was going to do anything about it then leave it sitting for a year! I honestly never saw a place where I'd be in control of the rest of the house enough to deal with it. Amazing what the human mind is capable of.)

 

At least I can draw attention to loose ends without having to fight for my spouse to do his part--better than my mother can say, so I will count myself lucky on that front. The sheer amount of time that will be allowed to pass with things sitting where they don't belong unless someone else intervenes is downright impressive. Not with everything in husband's case, but with stuff that is new/needs a home. It'll just sit where it is initially put until my patience dies a slow agonizing death. If I don't have the energy to take action on it, no action is taken. 

 

The first step is to acknowledge when this optimistic lying is occurring right when it's first forming in your brain. You have to want to recognize it when it's starting in order to change the outcome.

 

Hear hear. We may be liars, but at least we're optimistic!

[Mistr]

45 minutes ago, Urgan said:

But really what's happening is some people grow up telling themselves optimistic lies of how they will totally get to that thing tonight/tomorrow/in the morning/after work/this weekend. I think most people do this at some point in their life. Some just never grow out of it, perhaps because others step in and do it for them to such an extent that they never develop this aspect of personal responsibility. That is social influence of a kind within a family, perhaps working hand-in-hand with biology, who cares why when there's never been a good excuse for adults to leave things lying around. (That includes myself...most of the mess in the office is mine or off-shifting stuff for lack of a better place for it to be, but I never said I was going to do anything about it then leave it sitting for a year! I honestly never saw a place where I'd be in control of the rest of the house enough to deal with it. Amazing what the human mind is capable of.)

 

At least I can draw attention to loose ends without having to fight for my spouse to do his part--better than my mother can say, so I will count myself lucky on that front. The sheer amount of time that will be allowed to pass with things sitting where they don't belong unless someone else intervenes is downright impressive. Not with everything in husband's case, but with stuff that is new/needs a home. It'll just sit where it is initially put until my patience dies a slow agonizing death. If I don't have the energy to take action on it, no action is taken. 

 

The first step is to acknowledge when this optimistic lying is occurring right when it's first forming in your brain. You have to want to recognize it when it's starting in order to change the outcome.

 

Yes, you've hit it on the head.

 

I realized a long time ago that my mess does not bother me because I know when I'm planning on dealing with it. I don't know when Dumbledore will get to dealing with his mess, so it is a constant source of concern. Thankfully he is making regular periodic effort to clean the common space. Last night I got home to find the dining room table covered with neat stacks of papers and books. Dumbledore told me not to touch it. He is sorting stuff and will deal with it. I protested that some of my stuff is in his piles. He said he knows that, and will sort it out for me in his process. Okay then.

 

I've been making a point of putting things away on the first go. The idea is to only have to pick up the thing and think about it once. When I take off my earrings I put them on the jewelry rack, not just on top of the dresser. Clean clothes go from the laundry basket into the dresser or closet with only a quick stage on the bed for folding (Dumbledore does not share this method). I want to cut down on the piles of things to deal with later.

 

Good for you conquering the cleaning!

[Urgan]

Just now, Kishi said:

Hear hear. We may be liars, but at least we're optimistic!

 

Yeah I don't ascribe any evil motives 'cuz I grew up with my dad and to this very minute he has no concept of how much he can reasonably expect to do in a day. A cancer of the work ethic. Yup, it's always time management, isn't it?

[Urgan]

2 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I realized a long time ago that my mess does not bother me because I know when I'm planning on dealing with it. I don't know when Dumbledore will get to dealing with his mess, so it is a constant source of concern. Thankfully he is making regular periodic effort to clean the common space. Last night I got home to find the dining room table covered with neat stacks of papers and books. Dumbledore told me not to touch it. He is sorting stuff and will deal with it. I protested that some of my stuff is in his piles. He said he knows that, and will sort it out for me in his process. Okay then.

 

It's a good point that we know what's going on behind the scenes in our world, but the only evidence we have from the other person is what does (not) materialize.

Hey, if the man is going to sort it for you and actually does it, have at. 

 

3 minutes ago, Mistr said:

I've been making a point of putting things away on the first go. The idea is to only have to pick up the thing and think about it once. When I take off my earrings I put them on the jewelry rack, not just on top of the dresser. Clean clothes go from the laundry basket into the dresser or closet with only a quick stage on the bed for folding (Dumbledore does not share this method). I want to cut down on the piles of things to deal with later.

 

Yeah, this is the natural consequence of realizing you are putting off dealing with stuff. You can avoid cleaning up a mess if there never was one to begin with. 

 

 

It does require a lot of self-parenting to pull off the Jedi mind trick of JUST PUTTING IT UP NOW, especially on weeknights.

[Urgan]

6/10/2019

Me Ignoring Goals to Chase Other Goals

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

Doing my best to keep a lid on it. It's too easy to just let stream of consciousness roll during meetings where there is so much material to work with--it seems like such a good idea at the time. Gym and dojo are okay. 

 

Without: Giri

Mop floor

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 5/16

Buki Waza Review - 1/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, $116

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 2/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 5/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- Do you ever have moments where you just want to take everything in your closets and dropkick it out the door?

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 6/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- Nothing is turning up in the job search, so I am taking it as good that I've gone a whole week and there hasn't been any more boat-rocking action.

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- 3RM PR'd bench and had a strong OHP game.

It rained precisely during the hour I had to be back in the office from my break and I left my umbrella in the office thinking it wouldn't rain because I was assuming home forecast = work forecast. No. No, it doesn't. 

Parents and I talked about materials to cover the desk top--it'll probably be plexi-glass, which given the damage cats can do over time, is fine by me. Light, cheap, easy to replace, not going to be missed when/if it does. 

We did suwari waza katatori sanko and that went well. Got out late (10PM) because talking with partner about stuff happened. Things that happened once I finally got home:

Reviewed it at home along with drawing/sheathing practice. 

Stared at closet trying to justify doing nothing and tossing everything therein. Because one person needs like 30 candles.

Japanese practice.

Did some rearranging of contents of my story outline to stub out some ideas in relation to things I've done a better job of addressing. 

Read a little bit.

Fell asleep with the light on again.

[Mistr]

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

 

We did suwari waza katatori sanko and that went well. Got out late (10PM) because talking with partner about stuff happened. Things that happened once I finally got home:

Reviewed it at home along with drawing/sheathing practice. 

Stared at closet trying to justify doing nothing and tossing everything therein. Because one person needs like 30 candles.

Japanese practice.

Did some rearranging of contents of my story outline to stub out some ideas in relation to things I've done a better job of addressing. 

Read a little bit.

Fell asleep with the light on again.

 

That is a lot of stuff to get done after 10pm.

 

A long time ago I asked my grandmother if she had old candles that I could use for making new candles. I was not surprised when she pulled out a dresser drawer that was full of candles. Some new; most of them burned partway at some holiday. At the time I did not understand how thrilled she was that I wanted them and would use them. Now I know that she couldn't throw them out because they were still usable, but knew she would never use them.

 

My candle-making endeavors got put on the back shelf, but I still use those candles for when I sit zen or exercise early in the morning in the dark months. I'm going through them at a rate of a few a year. Who knows, I might need to make more candles one of these years.

[Urgan]

42 minutes ago, Mistr said:

That is a lot of stuff to get done after 10pm.

 

An unreasonable amount of stuff to get done. As if I have any business not reassessing when some of these things should be done.

 

44 minutes ago, Mistr said:

A long time ago I asked my grandmother if she had old candles that I could use for making new candles. I was not surprised when she pulled out a dresser drawer that was full of candles. Some new; most of them burned partway at some holiday. At the time I did not understand how thrilled she was that I wanted them and would use them. Now I know that she couldn't throw them out because they were still usable, but knew she would never use them.

 

My candle-making endeavors got put on the back shelf, but I still use those candles for when I sit zen or exercise early in the morning in the dark months. I'm going through them at a rate of a few a year. Who knows, I might need to make more candles one of these years.

 

Mom and I were talking about this very thing. The agony of discarding usable goods because Sentiment and You May Need It Someday, Possibly to Be Buried With You In the Event the Egyptian Version of the Afterlife Is Real.

 

** imagines pine box stuffed with candles, decorative vases, and stupid books that couldn't be parted with **

 

......or not and we should take responsibility before we make it someone else's.

 

Also. The closet smells like a craft store crammed itself in a 3.5x2ft space. So we've gone from a walk-in junk drawer to smaller junk drawers with doors on them. Progress™. But seriously it's time to start thinking realistically about these things. It won't get any easier to do as years go by, God knows. The family tree is littered with borderline hoarders holding onto dead people's things as people tend to do, I suppose. 

[Mistr]

4 hours ago, Urgan said:

......or not and we should take responsibility before we make it someone else's.

 

I am forever grateful to my great aunt for making regular trips to meet with an antique seller in the last years of her life. She would come up to visit Grandma with a couple boxes of stuff from her attic. Sometimes I would be there and they would encourage me to take anything I could use. My great aunt did not have any children, so she knew it was all her responsibility to deal with.

 

She died unexpectedly of a heart attack. When I went with Grandma to help clean out her house we found only a couple boxes in the attic. Grandma said it had been packed to the rafters the last time she was there. I am so glad we did not have to deal with that. It was a lot of work going through Grandma's house several years later.

 

4 hours ago, Urgan said:

Also. The closet smells like a craft store crammed itself in a 3.5x2ft space. So we've gone from a walk-in junk drawer to smaller junk drawers with doors on them. Progress™. But seriously it's time to start thinking realistically about these things. It won't get any easier to do as years go by, God knows. The family tree is littered with borderline hoarders holding onto dead people's things as people tend to do, I suppose. 

 

Yep. I wanted to take a small dresser/side table from Grandma's attic. It was full of craft projects from her mother. I know what you mean about family hoarding tendencies.

 

I actually found it easier to get rid of stuff when I moved right after turning 50. Suddenly it was Later™. If I am not using this stuff now, there is no need to save it. Later™ has arrived.

 

That helps with the craft projects. I'm still having trouble with the fancy dishes and linens. I like them but I just don't have the kind of lifestyle where I use them. I keep threatening to hold a fancy dress party so my friends and I can justify keeping the clothes and I can use those dishes. 

[Urgan]

6/11/2019

Seek and destroy

 

武士道   (ぶしどう)

Justice/Rectitude 

Within: Samurai Don't Complain (in fitness or in the meeting room)

-

Without: Giri

Mop floor

Back up laptop HD

Schedule eye exam

Clean shower

Clean kitchen table

Clean toilet

Clean tub

Clean sinks

 

Courage

Within: Crying in the Dojo

Technique Review - 6/16

Buki Waza Review - 2/4

 

Without: Keep heizen and carry on

Call Computer Shop

Audit Power Bill - $116, $108, $116

 

Benevolence

Within and Without: Love

Dad Training - 1/4

9:00 Dinner - 3/8

Cat grooming - 1/4

 

Politeness

Within: Rēsetsu

Curse Count - 0

Silence is Golden - 5/20

 

Without: Do 道

Drawing Japanese Characters - 2/8

 

Honesty

Within: Shinjitsu for Me

- The Dropkick Crap Feeling Intensifies

 

Without: Matomo for Thee

Say (Only) What You Mean - 7/28

 

Honor

Within: Sotsugyu Already

Update resume (again)

Meditate on Proportional Response

- Nothing is turning up in the job search, so I am taking it as good that I've gone a whole week and there hasn't been any more boat-rocking action.

 

Without: Battle With Meiyo and Humanity

Clean grandfather's books

Clean the office desk

Take down posts of eBay sellables

Gather all donations in one place

Remove non-office things from the office

Protect the surface of the desk

Clean the floor

 

- Work was unremarkable. I got my eye exam scheduled for July 2nd and will tag dropping my computer off and a bank run to that chore for the efficiencies. At home I removed a few things from the closet. There might be more if I squint harder but I'm leaving (valuable) jewelry and electronics off the table for this purge because that requires more research to dispose of properly. Didn't stop me from removing some things around my jewelry stand. And in my dresser (including the jewelry box-type lid on top....the font of all junk stuffed therein for Later Consideration). And in the desk drawer. And in my nightstand. I need to revisit the closet to find a missing shoe and consider some hidden knick-knacks more closely. Otherwise, my bathroom storage boxes are the last on this side of the house to be Scrutinized. I estimate half a bag of garbage and the better part of a bag of donatables was generated from this. I swear our house isn't a disaster, the junk is just well-hidden so unless you seek it out, it's just kinda hanging around. Existing. Anger gave me the strength to toss all the owl-themed things that I kept because they were cute and yet useless given they were in fact worn-out/broken. 

 

Went ahead and put dinner in the pressure cooker before 9, fell asleep for 2 hours. We actually ate it way late, but it wasn't my fault since the option was there the whole time! Just CBF to care about it after all that junk-purging.

 

Backed up the few folders that changed since the last time I backed it up (just to get in the habit...also leaving my machine for repair means can't be too careful), reviewed Aikido technique from Monday, did buki waza, then switched over to Iaido stuff--draw/sheathe + kata 1 and 2. Read some stuff. 

[Urgan]

17 hours ago, Mistr said:

I am forever grateful to my great aunt for making regular trips to meet with an antique seller in the last years of her life. She would come up to visit Grandma with a couple boxes of stuff from her attic. Sometimes I would be there and they would encourage me to take anything I could use. My great aunt did not have any children, so she knew it was all her responsibility to deal with.

 

She died unexpectedly of a heart attack. When I went with Grandma to help clean out her house we found only a couple boxes in the attic. Grandma said it had been packed to the rafters the last time she was there. I am so glad we did not have to deal with that. It was a lot of work going through Grandma's house several years later.

 

Would that everyone did this to as least some extent. When you end up with multiple buildings and land to sell, all the junk inside one building seems like adding insult to injury.

 

17 hours ago, Mistr said:

Yep. I wanted to take a small dresser/side table from Grandma's attic. It was full of craft projects from her mother. I know what you mean about family hoarding tendencies.

 

I actually found it easier to get rid of stuff when I moved right after turning 50. Suddenly it was Later™. If I am not using this stuff now, there is no need to save it. Later™ has arrived.

 

Another point Mom made, more or less, was the acknowledgement of time passing. It's hard for people to do, especially people who refuse to acknowledge that they--and their children--are getting older. Not that staying young at heart and doing things is at issue, but failure to stay in touch with long term planning does have consequences.

 

17 hours ago, Mistr said:

That helps with the craft projects. I'm still having trouble with the fancy dishes and linens. I like them but I just don't have the kind of lifestyle where I use them. I keep threatening to hold a fancy dress party so my friends and I can justify keeping the clothes and I can use those dishes. 

 

The work involved with holding a fancy dress party may be just the ticket to convince you to toss them! Ha. There's nothing wrong with having some things just because they are nice, especially if you look at them with some frequency greater than Never. That's the trick. So much just sits around cluttering up the back end of a drawer/cabinet.