Urgan Shows Up, Does the Thing

[ixaera]

I am too new for much drama yet but I see it on the horizon

There's a guy who is Very Concerned b/c his boss asked him to *gasp* actually assign himself tickets instead of just randomly making notes on all of them and leaving them for others to actually work

He is also somehow convinced that he cannot do the goal "close tickets" and the goal "learn things" in the same year apparently. I'm just glad he's not someone I will regularly have to interact with because he comes across as a pill so far

 

But that beats your guys by a couple of miles still.

 

I worked with a good friend for years and over time she got more and more toxic and the more I tried to withdraw the tighter the noose closed, til everything blew up and that was basically that. It worked out fine work-wise, because we're both adults who can dislike a coworker and still get shit done drama-free. (Her toxicity was at least confined to personal things, not most of work things.) But yeah, it's like you say. Just one day it was one too many straws and BOOM nope

[Urgan]

5 minutes ago, ixaera said:

I am too new for much drama yet but I see it on the horizon

There's a guy who is Very Concerned b/c his boss asked him to *gasp* actually assign himself tickets instead of just randomly making notes on all of them and leaving them for others to actually work

He is also somehow convinced that he cannot do the goal "close tickets" and the goal "learn things" in the same year apparently. I'm just glad he's not someone I will regularly have to interact with because he comes across as a pill so far

 

I wish you all the luck in avoiding the drama. We have one of these. He is upset because our boss won't let anyone work from home if there is no way to get in touch with them. Yeah, what an asshole, I know. Doesn't want the guy who lives out in the sticks with "no long distance" to go AWOL and pretend to work where no one can keep him accountable. Sigh. 

 

Maybe he could oh, I dunno,"learn" how to "close tickets"??

[Urgan]

 

2/22/2018

Current status

Food

Lunch-time: 10/20

Miso meal: 1/1

Calories: 2772 / 2648

Protein: 109 / 96

Fiber: 41 / 16

 

Self-Care

Mobility: 5/8

 

Subpar Thursday feels ahoy. I positively crawled my way through this long, slow, dull not-weekend day. I did manage to practice some of my bokken stuff and I did mobility. Dinner was BBQ (sans sauce), I have no idea how much I ate of the brisket, so I put down a safe number and so calories and protein may well vary from the numbers posted here. Oh well. 

 

I got that message mentioned above and did nothing with it. I have no idea what the right course of action is, but I don't figure much that I could choose to say is gonna make it "better" in the end. I'm not sure I want better. 

 

Did not wake up in the middle of the night in pain, so that's a plus. Knees weren't crazy about sitting in the work chair all day, but they have moods like that every once in a great while and it goes away. The minute I got out of the car and activating standing mode (followed shortly by lying down mode...), all was right with the world. 

[Kishi]

23 hours ago, Urgan said:

I'm only doing the essential and have instinctually withdrawn from a work relationship. It's like a light switch went off and I couldn't take interacting with this person anymore. Have you had an experience like this? Where you roll along for a while and then all of a sudden it's unbearable to continue business as usual?

 

Yup. Totally been there. I think you're aware of it, but it was that time with that co-worker who I thought I liked and wound up being a fairly toxic person in a lot of ways. I think I'd had the instinct to withdraw for a while, but I was never in a position to do so, and when I tried to, it blew up.

 

Which sucked in the short term, but wound up being for the best in the long term. I hope it turns out that way for you - not blowing up, but rather being a good decision for you in terms of mental/emotional health. Shit like that's not sustainable, and the longer you try, the worse it gets.

 

So, yeah. Hope things get restful and you manage to get some shelter from this sooner rather than later.

[Urgan]

9 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Yup. Totally been there. I think you're aware of it, but it was that time with that co-worker who I thought I liked and wound up being a fairly toxic person in a lot of ways. I think I'd had the instinct to withdraw for a while, but I was never in a position to do so, and when I tried to, it blew up.

 

Which sucked in the short term, but wound up being for the best in the long term. I hope it turns out that way for you - not blowing up, but rather being a good decision for you in terms of mental/emotional health. Shit like that's not sustainable, and the longer you try, the worse it gets.

 

So, yeah. Hope things get restful and you manage to get some shelter from this sooner rather than later.

 

Yes I do, and that was an awful experience for you. Fortunately my toxic situation has a cringe reflex level of master, and so is less aggressive all around than yours was.....I think. It's early still. On an unrelated note, I am on a mission to make this a non-issue, if you know what I'm saying lol.

[Kishi]

6 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Yes I do, and that was an awful experience for you. Fortunately my toxic situation has a cringe reflex level of master, and so is less aggressive all around than yours was.....I think. It's early still. On an unrelated note, I am on a mission to make this a non-issue, if you know what I'm saying lol.

 

Blend until you have to break something.

[Urgan]

1 minute ago, Kishi said:

 

Blend until you have to break something.

 

Osu. 

[Jord]

On 2/23/2018 at 10:04 AM, Urgan said:

 

Did not wake up in the middle of the night in pain, so that's a plus. Knees weren't crazy about sitting in the work chair all day, but they have moods like that every once in a great while and it goes away. The minute I got out of the car and activating standing mode (followed shortly by lying down mode...), all was right with the world. 

 

Ah, yes, the ever fabled laying down mode. May we travel back in time and collect all the laying down modes forfeited?

[Urgan]

2/23/2018 - 2/25/2018

Except I'm pretty sure I know how I feel about this week...

Food

Lunch-time: 11/20

Miso meal: 1/1

Calories:  2712 / 2624, 2803, 2466

Protein:  110 / 121, 112, 97

Fiber:  42 / 64, 44, 20

 

Self-Care

Mobility: 6/8

 

Pretend there are pretty screenshots here of my lifts and weight vs calories. 

Friday

I hit top OHP singles of 76lbs.

Bench was just some boilerplate stress to keep that movement from falling away.

 

Saturday

I squatted two singles at 195lbs followed by 197.5lbs

Deadlifts topped out at 210 for three singles.

 

I am obscenely happy with these past two days. I had the worst, emotionally speaking, week since I was in tech support and yet I am knocking on the door of PRs on at least one lift next cycle. 

 

 

My weight has been on a steady climb to the point of 117.8 lbs from 1/26 - 2/19. I was eating yogurt daily. Calorie averages stand at 2494, 2520, and 2612 for these weeks

From 2/20 to today my weight hovered in high 115s - low 116s. Today it is 115.8, specifically. I ate yogurt every other day.  Calorie average for this week is 2712

So now we go forward with no yogurt and eat like it's going out of fashion.

 

I think the evidence is mounting that my body just flat HATES dairy that is not cheese. Bloating, gas that is unspeakably vile, special bathroom experiences, and of course the little weight spike. I did not intentionally change anything else. It did not start off bad, but it sure got that way.  Reducing to eliminating yogurt has seen the gas, bathroom issues, and weight fluctuation disappear. 

 

Head pain has been off and on, no migraines since Monday, but a couple of headaches did happen on Friday and Sunday. Between hormones and diet changes, this may get better soon? God I hope so. I've done some mobility, it might or might not be helping outside of immediately thereafter. 

 

 

 

Still looking for the right words to address nuisance coworker, right after I figure out whether I SHOULD address said nuisance further.

 

 

2 hours ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

 

Ah, yes, the ever fabled laying down mode. May we travel back in time and collect all the laying down modes forfeited?

 

To be fair, if you gave me a time machine, I would use it to live Saturday over and over and over again.

[shaar]

On 2/23/2018 at 10:04 AM, Urgan said:

 

I got that message mentioned above and did nothing with it. I have no idea what the right course of action is, but I don't figure much that I could choose to say is gonna make it "better" in the end. I'm not sure I want better. 

 

Seconding the Jesus Hornblower Christ.............

 

This guy, sounds like one of those guys, you give him an inch and he'll take a mile.  Any kind of acknowledgement will open that door and if it were me I would go full stop ignore-mode unless it's business related, and if he starts to step over the line and be a shitty little rude-ass again, hey ho HR.  I wouldn't respond to his message.  Hey, he said it himself, no expectation of response......

 

MAN I SURE DO LOVE PEOPLE UGH

[Urgan]

26 minutes ago, shaar said:

Seconding the Jesus Hornblower Christ.............

 

I have to admit this distracted me a little bit. Lol, Ix, where you come up with this? Because End of Days hornblowing was about my speed last week lol. So on target.

 

28 minutes ago, shaar said:

This guy, sounds like one of those guys, you give him an inch and he'll take a mile.  Any kind of acknowledgement will open that door and if it were me I would go full stop ignore-mode unless it's business related, and if he starts to step over the line and be a shitty little rude-ass again, hey ho HR.  I wouldn't respond to his message.  Hey, he said it himself, no expectation of response......

 

I don't think he means ill, but he done me a mighty annoy. And I do feel that reacting is only extending the bridge of communication and I do not know how to cut it off without ending back where we started--with an avoidance pattern--or worse, hostility.

 

39 minutes ago, shaar said:

MAN I SURE DO LOVE PEOPLE UGH

 

In completely unrelated news, I have submitted two applications late last week.

Also we owe $3000 the feds, $1200 can directly be laid at the feet of this stupid multi-billion company for not hiring me.

[ixaera]

9 hours ago, Urgan said:

Friday

I hit top OHP singles of 76lbs.

Bench was just some boilerplate stress to keep that movement from falling away.

 

Saturday

I squatted two singles at 195lbs followed by 197.5lbs

Deadlifts topped out at 210 for three singles.

 

Dis so good tho

 

8 hours ago, Urgan said:

Lol, Ix, where you come up with this? Because End of Days hornblowing was about my speed last week lol. So on target.

 

I assume someone more creative than me said it sometime in the past and it stuck????

The H has to stand for something, and Horatio didn't seem quite right for the occasion, but...

 

(Side note: the initials don't always stand for anything! My uncle's actual name was just J.B. and he was in the Navy and when you have just letters for name they make you put (only) after the letter so he got a lot of Navy mail for Jonly Bonly)

 

8 hours ago, Urgan said:

Also we owe $3000 the feds, $1200 can directly be laid at the feet of this stupid multi-billion company for not hiring me.

 

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

[Urgan]

2/26/2018

Giving Monday a bad me

Food

Lunch-time: 12/20

Miso meal: 1/1

Calories: 2322 / 2322

Protein: 103 / 103

Fiber:  23 / 23

 

Self-Care

Mobility: 6/8

 

Bench

45         3

65         3

75         3

80         3

96         3

87         3x3

 

OHP

45         3

50         3

55         3

60         3

69.5      3--3RM PR+.5lb!!

59         3x6

 

So we're doing this week thing again, I guess? Okay then.

The glories of Monday. Had a Low Macro day, but that was mostly due to eating at my parents' house. They don't do #doublemeatplease and presumably had I cooked the dinner, it would have been more on target. Oh well. Gym was on point--a bit more of a challenge than I like to see from weights I've seen before, but after last week you take anything better than dog crap and you like it.

 

Work was...work. So much passive aggressive, so little time. 

 

Aikido'd so hard. Ushiro tekubitori kotegaeshi (always with the flippin' kotegaeshi...) on deck. Looked halfway like I knew what was up. Trying to help refresh Sensei (don't drink, kids...) on how kaitenage goes to teach my partner when you know the teaching method has been tweaked while being uke got me like

 

 

 

Uke problems.

 

12 hours ago, ixaera said:

Dis so good tho

 

 

12 hours ago, ixaera said:

I assume someone more creative than me said it sometime in the past and it stuck????

The H has to stand for something, and Horatio didn't seem quite right for the occasion, but...

 

(Side note: the initials don't always stand for anything! My uncle's actual name was just J.B. and he was in the Navy and when you have just letters for name they make you put (only) after the letter so he got a lot of Navy mail for Jonly Bonly)

 

Well whoever it was deserves a medal. Or at least a plaque.

 

[insert Navy meme here]

 

12 hours ago, ixaera said:

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

 

Our thoughts precisely. 

 

[Mistr]

On 2/23/2018 at 9:04 AM, Urgan said:

I got that message mentioned above and did nothing with it. I have no idea what the right course of action is, but I don't figure much that I could choose to say is gonna make it "better" in the end. I'm not sure I want better. 

 

From what you've said so far, "better" is not a likely option. In fact, I would forward the last email he sent you to HR with a note saying that you have concerns. Add a bunch of stuff about how you value a professional and productive workplace relationship with all your coworkers.

On 2/23/2018 at 9:46 AM, Urgan said:

Yes I do, and that was an awful experience for you. Fortunately my toxic situation has a cringe reflex level of master, and so is less aggressive all around than yours was.....I think. It's early still. On an unrelated note, I am on a mission to make this a non-issue, if you know what I'm saying lol.

 

You have correctly recognized the signs. Stay away.

 

 

On 2/26/2018 at 10:24 AM, Urgan said:

My weight has been on a steady climb to the point of 117.8 lbs from 1/26 - 2/19. I was eating yogurt daily. Calorie averages stand at 2494, 2520, and 2612 for these weeks

From 2/20 to today my weight hovered in high 115s - low 116s. Today it is 115.8, specifically. I ate yogurt every other day.  Calorie average for this week is 2712

So now we go forward with no yogurt and eat like it's going out of fashion.

 

I think the evidence is mounting that my body just flat HATES dairy that is not cheese. Bloating, gas that is unspeakably vile, special bathroom experiences, and of course the little weight spike. I did not intentionally change anything else. It did not start off bad, but it sure got that way.  Reducing to eliminating yogurt has seen the gas, bathroom issues, and weight fluctuation disappear. 

 

Another successful dietary experiment completed. Sorry that it had to be another negative result.

 

Congratulations on the PRs!

[Cataleya]

Yeah I might suggest keeping HR in the loop and honestly either not respknd still or if he keeps bugging you, just being honest without piling on. Like, hey I like working with you but to be honest the QA drama is just more than I'm interested in, so I needed to back off for a while. Or whatever. And leave it at that. You don't really owe him an explanation but you also don't deserve his shit.

[Jord]

22 hours ago, Urgan said:

The glories of Monday. Had a Low Macro day, but that was mostly due to eating at my parents' house. They don't do #doublemeatplease and presumably had I cooked the dinner, it would have been more on target.

 

grrrr. this is why i started just making really flexible meals when it involves company, separate meat, carb, veg and I keep most everyone happy. I don't know why, but somehow we ended up in the family/friends lifestyle where EVERY single person has a restriction. keto/glute/dairy/veg/allergies/etc I swear it starts to feel like I know maybe 1 person with a "standard american diet" which is maybe a good thing? who knows.

[Urgan]

2/27/2018

The word of the week is

Food

Lunch-time: 12/20

Miso meal: 1/1

Calories: 2673 / 3023

Protein: 114 / 126

Fiber:  37 / 51

 

Self-Care

Mobility: 6/8

 

Okay, so the plan to Eat Everything is turning out so far. Despite that, I ended the day exhausted and at least partially here's why.

 

Remember the part where the message said he didn't expect a reply? Well, apparently he did really expect me to take the bait and reply. Oh yes, it gets better. Yesterday afternoon he hand delivered another message--this time a note hidden James Bond style in a folder with cover documents on top of it asking for clarification for the sake of closure/moving on (his words). 

 

I did not reply to that right away, because WTF and I was torn between not replying AGAIN, replying with something diplomatic, and replying with everybody's favorite, Fuck Off. I'm feeling the lattermost, but will attempt the middle option in the hopes that it really does get rid of him. I definitely am keeping it to a sentence to answer his question, presuming that is all he wants, and to inform him that I do not want any further mention of this going forward. At that point, I can escalate with clear conscience if there are further attempts made. Also I took the liberty of parking elsewhere in case seeing my vehicle galvanizes him in any way. This also closely coincides with my belt test clearing the way for me to move my hours up a bit so we will become totally out of sync in mid-March.

 

Next step is HR and getting other coworkers involved as the situation demands.

 

15 hours ago, Mistr said:

 

From what you've said so far, "better" is not a likely option. In fact, I would forward the last email he sent you to HR with a note saying that you have concerns. Add a bunch of stuff about how you value a professional and productive workplace relationship with all your coworkers.

 

You have correctly recognized the signs. Stay away.

 

 

 

Another successful dietary experiment completed. Sorry that it had to be another negative result.

 

Congratulations on the PRs!

 

I am slow to resort to HR, but it is always an option and one that is moving up on the list as days go by.

 

Yeah, I can't say I am surprised, but disappointed--for sure.

 

Thanks!

 

9 hours ago, Cataleya said:

Yeah I might suggest keeping HR in the loop and honestly either not respknd still or if he keeps bugging you, just being honest without piling on. Like, hey I like working with you but to be honest the QA drama is just more than I'm interested in, so I needed to back off for a while. Or whatever. And leave it at that. You don't really owe him an explanation but you also don't deserve his shit.

 

This actually helped me formulate my response. It's amazing how complicated one is capable of making things while stressed out.

 

52 minutes ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

 

grrrr. this is why i started just making really flexible meals when it involves company, separate meat, carb, veg and I keep most everyone happy. I don't know why, but somehow we ended up in the family/friends lifestyle where EVERY single person has a restriction. keto/glute/dairy/veg/allergies/etc I swear it starts to feel like I know maybe 1 person with a "standard american diet" which is maybe a good thing? who knows.

 

This seems challenging, frustrating, and interesting all at once. Kinda cool, but also very complicated just tryin' to live, over here. We make our way the best we can.

[shaar]

41 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

Remember the part where the message said he didn't expect a reply? Well, apparently he did really expect me to take the bait and reply.

 

Fuckin' A

 

THIS IS MY SURPRISED FACE

 

 

It never fails to amaze me, the entitlement other people think they have to ANYONE'S attention.  I'd contact HR yesterday full stop, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, but I'm also kind of a hardass when it comes to people invading my boundaries after being given many clear signs NOT to, so.............

 

 

 

Also the word of the week is def. STOP, also NAP and SCREAMING INTO THE VOID seem to work well here too.  :DDDD  It is Wednesday though, we're halfway there!!

[Urgan]

3 minutes ago, shaar said:

Fuckin' A

 

THIS IS MY SURPRISED FACE

 

 

It never fails to amaze me, the entitlement other people think they have to ANYONE'S attention.  I'd contact HR yesterday full stop, do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars, but I'm also kind of a hardass when it comes to people invading my boundaries after being given many clear signs NOT to, so.............

 

The James Bond letter is getting a two sentence reply written directly on it. Here it is:

 

I like working in QA, but I only have so much ability to handle my own stuff and am unable to continue shouldering stress or problems from anyone else. 
I ask that you not bring this up again.

 

I am making a copy of it. If he approaches me again in person, in email, by carrier pigeon, I will then march directly into HR. I think this is a fine line in the sand to draw for me personally, as I'd like to punch this problem out myself. My safety isn't really an issue ATM. If I felt unsafe, then the first communication of this kind would have been the last before I involved others. Maybe that's my first mistake, I dunno. We'll judge it after the dust settles.

 

10 minutes ago, shaar said:

Also the word of the week is def. STOP, also NAP and SCREAMING INTO THE VOID seem to work well here too.  :DDDD  It is Wednesday though, we're halfway there!!

 

I did take a nap last night in order to have the energy/willpower to make fried rice, does that count?? 

[shaar]

29 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

The James Bond letter is getting a two sentence reply written directly on it. Here it is:

 

I like working in QA, but I only have so much ability to handle my own stuff and am unable to continue shouldering stress or problems from anyone else. 
I ask that you not bring this up again.

 

I am making a copy of it. If he approaches me again in person, in email, by carrier pigeon, I will then march directly into HR. I think this is a fine line in the sand to draw for me personally, as I'd like to punch this problem out myself. My safety isn't really an issue ATM. If I felt unsafe, then the first communication of this kind would have been the last before I involved others. Maybe that's my first mistake, I dunno. We'll judge it after the dust settles.

 

 

This is perrrrfect A+++++  Also I think you of all people would be the best judge of your safety, and it's not like you don't have the badass skills to defend yourself if some douchecanoe decided to be... well... a douchecanoe.

 

30 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I did take a nap last night in order to have the energy/willpower to make fried rice, does that count?? 

 

My word I almost fell asleep on the couch directly after eating dinner.  At like 6:30.  WELP might as well put on Matlock and take our Metamucil at this point, huh????

[Urgan]

8 minutes ago, shaar said:

This is perrrrfect A+++++  Also I think you of all people would be the best judge of your safety, and it's not like you don't have the badass skills to defend yourself if some douchecanoe decided to be... well... a douchecanoe.

 

Thanks and I hope it will settle the matter. Otherwise, aikidokas gonna aikido. In whatever form that takes.

 

14 minutes ago, shaar said:

My word I almost fell asleep on the couch directly after eating dinner.  At like 6:30.  WELP might as well put on Matlock and take our Metamucil at this point, huh????

 

When you think about it, sometimes the work day is 12 hours long by 6:30PM, ya know??? Doing the thing in these conditions is not for the faint of heart. Also, fiber is important! Lol.

[Urgan]

2/28/2018

I wanna be the dog

Food

Lunch-time: 13/20

Miso meal: 1/1

Calories: 2529 / 2385

Protein: 117 / 120

Fiber:  31 / 25

 

Self-Care

Mobility: 7/8

 

Squat

45           3

120         3

145         3

170         3x3

 

Deadlift

135         3

155         3

180         3

193         3

 

This time last year I was floundering on squats particularly. I was supposed to do 170lbs for a triple, but after doing that set I decided I could work harder and save time by just doing my volume at that weight. #lazy #moreworkplz I am happy to be where I am now, but impatient to see the 180s be working weight for reps. And I got up early enough to actually do BOTH exercises, lopping off of deadlift volume notwithstanding. 

 

As you well know, I handled an awkward situation yesterday. It was a bunch of nothing in terms of the brief in-person interaction because thank GOD there was another person around and technically work was going on so it prevented any hooks designed to delay me from leaving. Winning. 

 

Aikido was more flailing around wooden swords. Still planning on testing March 17th, so that's a thing.

 

It's been 24 hours since I last checked in and no unwanted communication so far. It's a short day since we'll be going to our CPA to do the postmortem on our taxes. Then hopefully there will be bonus face-time with my pillow in the late afternoon as compensation for the stress spike de la CPA. Then darn near insta-dinner courtesy of burrito bowl. Then Friday. We're almost done with this week, guys.

[Jord]

48 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I wanna be the dog

 

 

you don't want to be the cucumber?

 

48 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Aikido was more flailing around wooden swords. Still planning on testing March 17th, so that's a thing.

 

"flailing around wooden swords" - a taddea approved activity if I ever heard of one

 

 

[Urgan]

6 minutes ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

you don't want to be the cucumber?

 

I guess they're chilling, too, but after being cut into pieces. Ask me again next week.

 

7 minutes ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

"flailing around wooden swords" - a taddea approved activity if I ever heard of one

 

There was much giggling and fail because coordination is...difficult.

[Urgan]

3/1/2018

Surviving February got me like

Food

Lunch-time: 14/20

Miso meal: 1/1

Calories: 2557 / 2496

Protein: 114 / 106

Fiber:  36 / 43

 

When your fiber macro is within the margin of error for your sugar macro...

 

Self-Care

Mobility: 8/8

 

I pronounce the interpersonal conflict resolved until further notice. We got our taxes dealt with and I am officially 2000% less stressed out as a direct result of both of these things. It doesn't hurt that I got nearly a half day in the bargain and I spent all of it not in the car or CPA office asleep. Dinner was painless to put together.

 

I have found I have some combination of DOMS and muscle tension in my left glute--high up, close to my spine/tailbone. Entirely muscular, a lacrosse ball delivered temporary relief until roughly OHP time (add some right glute and lat tension after that), give or take some barely detectable discomfort. I am not concerned about this, ATM it's just a sign I did a lot of work on Wednesday--the 170lb squats plus resumption of deadlifts come to mind. Just noting it so it doesn't get ignored. I did some practice of aikido techniques at night, am feeling slightly better about this testing business simply for figuring out I have 6 techniques and broadly speaking 3 bokken techniques to polish.