Urgan Shows Up, Does the Thing

[Urgan]

5/30/2018

When the recruiter isn't saying but she's sayin'

Try kimchi

Retry yogurt

Miso

Set up savings transfer with some $$ figure, pray nothing breaks until July

Sink

Toilet

Floor

Counters

 

I just got this puppy rolling, sooooo big fat nada yet. I had the dubious honor of being called by a direct recruiter who was all like, "Yeah we saw where you applied for a database reporting analyst position, but we have put a hold on that job for 'various reasons,' so how 'bout this 'Business Systems Analyst' position?" (various reasons definitely not like having no intention of interviewing me for the job I applied for, but thinking I look like good prey, I'm sure)

 

I'm like, "Send me the job posting because I'm not sure I heard you right. There's planes taking off right next door." (The joys of being spontaneously called at work which is beside an airport and the fastest path to quiet-ish privacy-ish wasn't near my car)

 

So she did and damn if it wasn't a Tech Support I job. This posting wanted everything and the kitchen sink from BA requirements gathering to debugging and on call availability weekends and holidays. AKA like that job I survived for two years only somehow even worse. I emailed her back and said "yeah, keep me in mind for anything but tech support. I been there. Never again." That job would have made an alcoholic out of a nondrinker, I am not willing or able to absorb that kind of abuse/stress.

 

Squat

45           5

140         5

160         3

175         1

193         3x1

 

Deadlift

150         5

170         3

190         1

200         2

180         3x3

 

Gymmed and did the heavy stuff, 193 is a morning squat PR. Deadlifted and nobody actually had to die as a result. Winning.

 

Aikido was jiyu waza (any grasping attack comes in and you have to Do Something About It). That was hilarious. Broke a piece of my toenail off and I have no idea how it specifically happened, but I can speculate.

[shaar]

34 minutes ago, Urgan said:

I had the dubious honor of being called by a direct recruiter who was all like, "Yeah we saw where you applied for a database reporting analyst position, but we have put a hold on that job for 'various reasons,' so how 'bout this 'Business Systems Analyst' position?" (various reasons definitely not like having no intention of interviewing me for the job I applied for, but thinking I look like good prey, I'm sure)

 

I'm like, "Send me the job posting because I'm not sure I heard you right. There's planes taking off right next door." (The joys of being spontaneously called at work which is beside an airport and the fastest path to quiet-ish privacy-ish wasn't near my car)

 

So she did and damn if it wasn't a Tech Support I job. This posting wanted everything and the kitchen sink from BA requirements gathering to debugging and on call availability weekends and holidays. AKA like that job I survived for two years only somehow even worse. I emailed her back and said "yeah, keep me in mind for anything but tech support. I been there. Never again." That job would have made an alcoholic out of a nondrinker, I am not willing or able to absorb that kind of abuse/stress.

 

Hahahahahahahahahaha no.  Nope.  Nope dot com, can I get a hell no, capital N to the O.

 

I love how a I job wants 397563 requirements, too.  Always.  Like, for real??  Like I get that it's I for a reason but way to propagate that burnout epidemic.  P h e w.

[Urgan]

Just now, shaar said:

 

Hahahahahahahahahaha no.  Nope.  Nope dot com, can I get a hell no, capital N to the O.

 

I love how a I job wants 397563 requirements, too.  Always.  Like, for real??  Like I get that it's I for a reason but way to propagate that burnout epidemic.  P h e w.

 

I 100% respect people who somehow can swim along in tech support (because that biz is HARD--I'm not too good for tech support, I did it for a while, but it was just soul-crushing just to be at the poverty line) but odds are I don't respect the people a couple levels above them making these postings. The burnout is SO real and you know it's a thing for this company when the recruiter leads with all the Fun Company Activities portion of the pitch. 

[shaar]

26 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I 100% respect people who somehow can swim along in tech support (because that biz is HARD--I'm not too good for tech support, I did it for a while, but it was just soul-crushing just to be at the poverty line) but odds are I don't respect the people a couple levels above them making these postings.

 

I don't know how people do it.  I mean, I guess if it's literally your only option or choice, but god damn..... god damn.  Soul-crushing for real.

 

27 minutes ago, Urgan said:

The burnout is SO real and you know it's a thing for this company when the recruiter leads with all the Fun Company Activities portion of the pitch. 

 

Oh my lordy there's red flag #1, 2, and 3.  "Weekly cookouts!  Activity room!  On-site gym!  A room where you can go and sob loudly into pillows for 2 minutes at a time, and only 2, because we need you back on the floor to do these 500 things!  Also you'll never be able to use any of these a m e n i t i e s because you're working straight through every 10 hour workday and oh yeah this weekend too...... oh by the way, NOW let's talk about the soul-crushing job you're signing on to--"

 

[Urgan]

20 minutes ago, shaar said:

I don't know how people do it.  I mean, I guess if it's literally your only option or choice, but god damn..... god damn.  Soul-crushing for real.

 

Your customers may or may not appreciate that you are a human. Even the ones that kinda do are not at all above taking shit out on you. Doesn't help I have zero ability to separate myself from the role I play for pay. The powers that be will Never let you leave that role. Once you have half a grasp of how to do the job, you are screwed. I am convinced there is no mobility out of that position. At my old job, a guy had to quit because they wouldn't let him do Business Intelligence or programming things. After he did that, at some point they got desperate to have programming so he got rehired FINALLY into the role he wanted. 

 

 

25 minutes ago, shaar said:

Oh my lordy there's red flag #1, 2, and 3.  "Weekly cookouts!  Activity room!  On-site gym!  A room where you can go and sob loudly into pillows for 2 minutes at a time, and only 2, because we need you back on the floor to do these 500 things!  Also you'll never be able to use any of these a m e n i t i e s because you're working straight through every 10 hour workday and oh yeah this weekend too...... oh by the way, NOW let's talk about the soul-crushing job you're signing on to--"

 

 

Yup. Pay no attention to the indentured servitude behind the curtain.

[shaar]

23 minutes ago, Urgan said:

At my old job, a guy had to quit because they wouldn't let him do Business Intelligence or programming things. After he did that, at some point they got desperate to have programming so he got rehired FINALLY into the role he wanted. 

 

Jesus hornblower Christ...........

 

OPERATING AT PEAK EFFICIENCY OF THE BUSINESS MODEL I SEE HUH

 

hashbrown facepalm................

[Urgan]

Current status: leaving to job interview in an hour, terrified.

[Urgan]

1 minute ago, shaar said:

 

Jesus hornblower Christ...........

 

OPERATING AT PEAK EFFICIENCY OF THE BUSINESS MODEL I SEE HUH

 

hashbrown facepalm................

 

See Exhibit A

[Kishi]

Don't you love how jobs assume that you're desperate enough that you'll just take whatever scraps they throw to you?

 

Edit to add: good luck with the interview!

[shaar]

6 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Current status: leaving to job interview in an hour, terrified.

 

OHGOD OHLORD HOOBOY

 

DEEP BREATHS

 

REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING

 

DON'T SWEAR TOO MUCH AT FIRST I DON'T THINK RECRUITERS APPRECIATE THAT KIND OF GUSTO RIGHT OFF THE GET-GO

 

(good luck and keep us posted! <3)

[Urgan]

6 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Don't you love how jobs assume that you're desperate enough that you'll just take whatever scraps they throw to you?

 

Edit to add: good luck with the interview!

 

It did offend me just a little bit, yes.

 

Thanks! I know I can do the job, it's just a matter of details like WILL THEY LET ME?

 

5 minutes ago, shaar said:

 

OHGOD OHLORD HOOBOY

 

DEEP BREATHS

 

REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING

 

DON'T SWEAR TOO MUCH AT FIRST I DON'T THINK RECRUITERS APPRECIATE THAT KIND OF GUSTO RIGHT OFF THE GET-GO

 

(good luck and keep us posted! <3)

 

I will try to keep the obscenities to a minimum lol. Then I get to go pick Harley up from his post-op checkup. ALL THE THINGS TODAY. Then I go collapse face-first on my bed and never get up. 

[Kishi]

41 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Thanks! I know I can do the job, it's just a matter of details like WILL THEY LET ME?

 

Don't sweat the small stuff. Remember, aikidoing one of their weaker employees out the window and sitting down to do the job is in fact an option.

[shaar]

12 minutes ago, Kishi said:

 

Don't sweat the small stuff. Remember, aikidoing one of their weaker employees out the window and sitting down to do the job is in fact an option.

 

This is perfect.  I honestly wish more life issues could be resolved by a good ol' sneak attack or Mortal Kombat in the parking lot.

[Jord]

I'm way behind but just caught up on the readin's. Hopefully the interview went well and they saw all yer talents.

 

Not for nuthin but I have another female friend of short stature and I think that does seem to make it hard in the computer/business related world. (She's in accounting.) Definitely gotta dress to impress, but i.e. on the more masculine side. Which is super lame. Interviewers have said some blatantly sexist stuff right to her face.

[Urgan]

1 hour ago, Taddea Zhaan said:

I'm way behind but just caught up on the readin's. Hopefully the interview went well and they saw all yer talents.

 

Not for nuthin but I have another female friend of short stature and I think that does seem to make it hard in the computer/business related world. (She's in accounting.) Definitely gotta dress to impress, but i.e. on the more masculine side. Which is super lame. Interviewers have said some blatantly sexist stuff right to her face.

 

It was a fairly good interview, in that I only stuck my booted foot in my mouth a handful of times. Not sure if he likes me or thinks I'm unstable. So. Yeah...

 

I think shortness is a big handicap in almost any social situation. You have to have an outsized personality to compensate. Or so I'm led to believe. I have never had anyone say anything offensive during an interview and rarely have experienced anything at work that could be considered sexist. At work it's mostly short jokes, because dem fuckers is clever observationalists. Most of that shit is reserved for the gym and often it's secondhand because it happens to my mother. Masters females are the final frontier of just bald-faced let's go up and touch and talk to a lifter mid-set because Guy hurt his back once and figures she's too incompetent to protect hers, no idea she has scoliosis so of course it's gonna look extra fucked-up to someone who cannot tell the difference between high and low bar squatting. Yup. 

[Urgan]

5/31/2018

Good effort, champ

Try kimchi

Retry yogurt

Miso

Set up savings transfer with some $$ figure, pray nothing breaks until July

Sink

Toilet

Floor

Counters

Reorder checks

 

It was a half-ish day at work, due to the aforementioned interview. It was rather okay to find despite being a Downtown location, thanks to HR's actually good directions. How many times have you reported for an interview when there were like 14 tiny caveats you need to take into account to negotiate to the correct entrance and all you're given is an address, which may or may not actually point you to the right place. So that was nice. The interview was nice. I love when people ask me technical questions in interviews, I do so well at those #shelied Fortunately for the questions I did bomb I had already said my experience was mostly educational, which was 7 years ago, so no I did not retain that top-of-the-head knowledge right on the tip of my tongue. Still kinda takes a mallet to your self-esteem. Otherwise I am a strong fit. They'll find someone with all my background knowledge + 7 years experience in the field, they always do, but it was a nice exercise I guess. Picked up Harley from the vet on the way home and he is well on the way to recovery. He's made up half the weight he's lost and the incision is A-okay for 1 week out. Collapsed on bed. Napped for 2 hours. Ate brisket, fries, and collards for dinner, all beautifully gluten and dairy free. No BM trouble since before the interview, where I think I may have had an incident with stress-induced Shay's Rebellion. Is that a thing? I think it might be a thing. 

 

On the way to work I saw two guys perched on top of some construction of a new flyover with their legs dangling off the side of an in-construction support pillar--they're trying to remodel Malfunction Junction, as it is so colloquially named, to be less...malfunctiony--I thought that was kind of cute. 

[RisenPhoenix]

It amazes and confuses me how recruiters think "This person is crazy over qualified for this role" and that leaps somehow into "They'll want it."  I had such fun job hunting while unemployed, because people would try to get me an RA I position that essentially was "they might know how to hold a pipette" and then tell me my request for money was too much.  Well, yes, this is what happens with nearly a decade of experience and an advanced degree under your belt.  Idjits.

 

Glad to hear the interview went well!

[Urgan]

7 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

It amazes and confuses me how recruiters think "This person is crazy over qualified for this role" and that leaps somehow into "They'll want it."  I had such fun job hunting while unemployed, because people would try to get me an RA I position that essentially was "they might know how to hold a pipette" and then tell me my request for money was too much.  Well, yes, this is what happens with nearly a decade of experience and an advanced degree under your belt.  Idjits.

 

Dat magic D-word. Desperation. They hope we has it. Or are stupid enough to somehow not realize we don't want the job in question? Despite having done it for X years and having moved on to jobs completely unlike/on a different level than that job?? It doesn't pay to think about it too hard or else it might result in a blood pressure spike.

 

8 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Glad to hear the interview went well!

 

I do this thing where I have good interviews where I have what they need and I still somehow don't get the offer. Keep trying to tell myself that I only need one job offer, because can't be cutting myself in half.

 

 

[RisenPhoenix]

22 minutes ago, Urgan said:

 

I do this thing where I have good interviews where I have what they need and I still somehow don't get the offer. Keep trying to tell myself that I only need one job offer, because can't be cutting myself in half.

 

 

Seriously.  I went on so many interviews before I landed this job.... And this was a freaking hail mary play.

[Kishi]

22 minutes ago, Urgan said:

Dat magic D-word. Desperation. They hope we has it. Or are stupid enough to somehow not realize we don't want the job in question? Despite having done it for X years and having moved on to jobs completely unlike/on a different level than that job?? It doesn't pay to think about it too hard or else it might result in a blood pressure spike.

 

It's my understanding that HR departments are not staffed with the most effective people to start with; asking for understanding and empathy is... not constructive. And anyway, there are enough desperate people for them to think that they can get away with it.

 

1 hour ago, Urgan said:

The interview was nice. I love when people ask me technical questions in interviews, I do so well at those #shelied Fortunately for the questions I did bomb I had already said my experience was mostly educational, which was 7 years ago, so no I did not retain that top-of-the-head knowledge right on the tip of my tongue. Still kinda takes a mallet to your self-esteem. Otherwise I am a strong fit. They'll find someone with all my background knowledge + 7 years experience in the field, they always do, but it was a nice exercise I guess.

 

Well, in the meantime, there's nothing you can do about that, then. You gave it the best you could for how prepared you were. Hopefully they'll get back to you; if not, well, as much as you hate the job you have now, it's keeping you fed and the cats alive. It's not the worst place to bargain from.

[Urgan]

5 minutes ago, Kishi said:

It's my understanding that HR departments are not staffed with the most effective people to start with; asking for understanding and empathy is... not constructive. And anyway, there are enough desperate people for them to think that they can get away with it.

 

I am willing to give HR a lot of slack, believe me I cannot imagine HR trying to speak on a granular level to all the departments they have to service under one roof. Most especially in the case of this place I just interviewed at, the HR guy front and center 'fessed up he could not speak to the technical parts of the job. I respect knowing where your knowledge base begins and ends, that takes a lot of humility.

 

In this case, the potential hiring manager liked my resume re: this other job, or so she told me, and more than likely had a large role in directing her to call me. I did not take anything out on her because she frankly sounded deer-in-the-headlights (Doesn't help I answered the phone with "What." thinking it was the third automated scam artist that day so I could trigger it and block the number. I apologized and explained this after she made her humanity apparent). I fault the people behind her. I don't think she made the executive decision to skip me for the other jobs and try to plug me into something else without consulting a SME. Or I'd hope not. 

 

8 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

 

 

Seriously.  I went on so many interviews before I landed this job.... And this was a freaking hail mary play.

 

5 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Well, in the meantime, there's nothing you can do about that, then. You gave it the best you could for how prepared you were. Hopefully they'll get back to you; if not, well, as much as you hate the job you have now, it's keeping you fed and the cats alive. It's not the worst place to bargain from.

 

Nothing worse than trying to get a job from a position of unemployment #ninemonthtour Doesn't matter if you were laid off, canned, or chose to quit for Reasons. I go to pains to make it clear in interviews that it is not the job or immediate team I dislike, it is the conditions of employment. Which is better than a lot of people have it, admittedly.

[Urgan]

Oh hey, it's story time with Urgan again.

 

We do these daily morning meetings in a room with a whole wall of windows to the outside world and this one cardinal has made it his life's mission to attack the jackass cardinal on the other side of the glass (spoiler: it's his reflection). So this bird keeps throwing himself face-first at the glass while we hold court. The receptionist has tried putting black paper over the part he loves to charge and it sorta worked, so of course that had to be removed and replaced with a picture of a bird of prey. He just attacked around it because he can STILL SEE HIMSELF.

 

A middle manager made the comment jokingly that we need more falcons. Cover the whole window in falcons. 

 

I said yeah, that's totally a [Workplace] solution. Go from an approach that works to one that doesn't work very well at all and double-down on that shit! 

 

Got a laugh from the whole room, which is good. We all agree with the fact that we have suicidal tendencies.

 

 

When a Bird is a Metaphor

A Memoir.

[ixaera]

On 6/1/2018 at 6:44 AM, Taddea Zhaan said:

I'm way behind but just caught up on the readin's. Hopefully the interview went well and they saw all yer talents.

 

Not for nuthin but I have another female friend of short stature and I think that does seem to make it hard in the computer/business related world. (She's in accounting.) Definitely gotta dress to impress, but i.e. on the more masculine side. Which is super lame. Interviewers have said some blatantly sexist stuff right to her face.

 

I'm pretty sure you guys know I'm short but I'm 4'11" for reference here and in tech support SO

 

basically what I have encountered is that when you're new, everyone judges you by your appearance, which in my case is short woman. My experience is such that this leads to a lot of what is called mansplaining until they figure out (some quicker than others) that you aren't an actual idiot and start giving you the same respect that other people got on the spot

 

but whatever

 

not bitter or anything

 

it's actually 10x better at new job, because the mansplaining has mostly died off after only 4 months! Only a couple of stragglers insist on it still. At my last job I was there 5 years and there were still two guys who thought I needed explanations of the most basic shit sometimes. I regularly experienced stuff with them where I'd send an email detailing a problem and asking how they wanted me to proceed only to get a reply ignoring my findings, explaining something I knew, then asking me to check a thing I clearly had already said I checked and found a problem with.

 

INFURIATING

 

that said, they don't wear signs that say "I'm treating you like an idiot because you're short and a woman" so i guess I can't know the reason for sure 

[Urgan]

44 minutes ago, ixaera said:

 

I'm pretty sure you guys know I'm short but I'm 4'11" for reference here and in tech support SO

 

basically what I have encountered is that when you're new, everyone judges you by your appearance, which in my case is short woman. My experience is such that this leads to a lot of what is called mansplaining until they figure out (some quicker than others) that you aren't an actual idiot and start giving you the same respect that other people got on the spot

 

but whatever

 

not bitter or anything

 

it's actually 10x better at new job, because the mansplaining has mostly died off after only 4 months! Only a couple of stragglers insist on it still. At my last job I was there 5 years and there were still two guys who thought I needed explanations of the most basic shit sometimes. I regularly experienced stuff with them where I'd send an email detailing a problem and asking how they wanted me to proceed only to get a reply ignoring my findings, explaining something I knew, then asking me to check a thing I clearly had already said I checked and found a problem with.

 

INFURIATING

 

that said, they don't wear signs that say "I'm treating you like an idiot because you're short and a woman" so i guess I can't know the reason for sure 

 

I have the opposite problem with the programmers (who all happen to be men). They mad I don't already know stuff about the way we do business and nobody else does because we're a weird hybrid of print shop and software house that has one leg in the 21st century and the other deep in the 20th. So yeah. That's good. 

 

Some people decide on Day 1 that you are a moron and shall henceforth be treated as such. WHY they decide this is up for betting and wild speculation.

[Urgan]

6/1/2018 - 6/3/2018

Hi, welcome to my To Do list. This may take a while

Try kimchi

Sink

Floor

Counters

Reorder checks

Decide whether to try more yogurt or go for Dill Cucumber kefir

Make plan to finance new AC unit at estimated price $6000 so we are not left holding the bag asejhrajefeoj!?!?

Call vet about when/if we rip the stitches out

Retry yogurt

Miso

Set up savings transfer with some $$ figure, pray nothing breaks until July

Toilet

 

Friday 

OHP

45         5

55         5

60         3

65         1

75         1

80         1

78         5x1

 

Bench

45         5

70         5

80         3

90         1

98         1

80         5x3

 

Did things and stuff. I'm sure it was all very important. Maybe this is when the transfer was set up?

 

Saturday

Squat

45           5

135         5

150         3

165         1

185         1

195         5x1

 

Deadlift

150         5

170         3

190         1

210         1

225         5x1

 

Defied the sign again, did not die. My back began the day cranky, but slapped a lifting belt on and it fixed that pretty much instantly. This was a hard session, but good work. I actually ate an almost meal beforehand and everything--Ore Ida frozen potatoes o'brien and tuna. So yeah, I had my shit really together.

 

Did the yogurt thing late at night along with the online test for that job I probably won't get. AKA did everything in my power to cause myself gastrointestinal distress and somehow managed to fail at that, too. Don't worry, it showed up on Sunday lol. 

 

Sunday

Toilets were scrubbed, miso was sauced. The AC is almost totally shot, we are going to have to fork over for another recharge of the unit and the next time it craps out it will probably be new AC and heat time YAY. 

 

Ate a lot of random things to try to make macros, and something about what I've eaten since Saturday did NOT agree with my guts AT ALL. Bizarrely no extreme BM nonsense (to this very moment), but the gas was weapons grade.