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Fleaball: Battle Kitten Rising


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I love everything about your challenge. A shamefaced high five from another person guilty of dicking around on my phone for 20 minutes before actually getting out of bed. It makes the whole rest of the morning so rushed, but ugh, so appealing when I am half asleep. Instagram and the Boston Globe are never so fascinating as they are at 6:30 and I'm supposed to be making breakfast.

 

1 hour ago, fleaball said:

Bonus goals: Started Duolingo again yesterday. Supposedly I'm 26% fluent in Spanish, but pfft. I didn't realize I'd actually completed the Spanish tree at some point, so that was a surprise. Need to keep working on it and find other ways to practice. And find ways to do French and Arabic.

 

Also, a proud high five from a fellow language nerd. For French I really love https://lingvist.io and there are a lot of French movies on Netflix. I also listen to a lot of French radio (this is probably my favourite station) and if you're more just starting out, things like the News In Slow French podcast are great too. I have also done some linguistic exchange Skype chats with Francophones trying to learn English - we talk for 15 minutes in English and then 15 minutes in French. 

 

I too need to chill the fuck out, btw. Here's hoping  both of us will make progress this challenge on our health goals, both mental and physical. 

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As I post this, there are 116 days until I do a Spartan Sprint with couple of other Nerds, because peer pressure. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also dreading it at the moment because while I don't

Bonus goals: do yoga spend 20 minutes a day working on Spanish, French, or Arabic watch TV/movies in one of the the above languages wherever possible use lynda.com to

Just going to dump these here to lure Flea back    

1 minute ago, Severine said:

I love everything about your challenge. A shamefaced high five from another person guilty of dicking around on my phone for 20 minutes before actually getting out of bed. It makes the whole rest of the morning so rushed, but ugh, so appealing when I am half asleep. Instagram and the Boston Globe are never so fascinating as they are at 6:30 and I'm supposed to be making breakfast.

 

 

Also, a proud high five from a fellow language nerd. For French I really love https://lingvist.io and there are a lot of French movies on Netflix. I also listen to a lot of French radio (this is probably my favourite station) and if you're more just starting out, things like the News In Slow French podcast are great too. I have also done some linguistic exchange Skype chats with Francophones trying to learn English - we talk for 15 minutes in English and then 15 minutes in French. 

 

I too need to chill the fuck out, btw. Here's hoping  both of us will make progress this challenge on our health goals, both mental and physical. 

I actually have a BA in French, which is why it's even more embarrassing that it's a goal lol. I've barely used it beyond listening to music on YouTube and the occaisional movie online. I'm probably not as bad as I think I am but I know I've lost a lot and it's more a confidence issue than anything else. I will totally check out that radio station, thanks! If I do well enough in catching up this month I may branch out to Skype exchanges or Meetups or something. They freak me out, anxiety-wise, and I'd need to work up to it. 

 

Woohoo! Here's to progress :)

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Grump time: 

 

A.) I am yet again bitter about the lack of GL in this forum. I know Blaidd's been having issues and whatnot but they really need to have a backup person or something who can pick up the slack. Come on. The other guilds have 8 million stickies and shit and here it's like "lol good luck"

 

B.) New thing to bring up with my therapist: how to stop worrying about other people judging/critcizing me and how to stop reacting badly to it. Case in point: I made a breakfast casserole the other day and both my mother and my roommate were like "But you don't even like eggs!" And now I want to punch things. (Despite the eventual goal of wanting to be mostly vegan, I'm trying to make myself tolerate eggs in the short term because cheap protein.) Things like this have literally stopped me from doing shit I wanted to do. Like when I lived at home I'd just not work out rather than deal with the Spanish Inquisition from my parents for doing something I didn't normally do. Ugh.

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I go to French meetups in Boston sometimes and I definitely recommend it if you can find a good one! I'm always nervous and the first few minutes I always feel kind of awkward, but once it gets going I'm always glad I went.

 

Lingvist is cool because it has more advanced stuff, including colloquial vocab and audio clips from actual French speakers along with transcripts. Not sure about you, but I'm somewhere around advanced intermediate in French and one of the things I still struggle with is understanding colloquial French at normal speeds. It's fine when they're talking to me and making an extra effort to enunciate, but then they turn to their francofriend and start rambling on quickly with speech full of slang and idioms and I am all...

giphy.gif

 

Your thing about anxiety about social judgement rings true for me (unfortunately). In my early 20s it never seemed to be a problem: my attitude was that if someone didn't like me for who I was, then finding that out asap was a good thing. In theory, I still think that, but in practice...for some reason now I spend a lot more time giving a fuck about people's opinions than I want to. Obviously, it's good to take people's feelings into account, but that's not what I mean.

 

These days I end up wasting brain space trying to game out in advance what my friends/family will think of things I'm doing, and it sometimes limits my actions in ways I don't like. I don't want to become one of those people who constrains and censors themself, trying desperately to never displease anyone, hacking off the objectionable bits of their personality one by one, until they are like a bonsai person, neat and tidy and hardly a person at all.

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Ugh we're meeting a year too late! I'm from Boston but in DC for grad school. (And no plans to go home unless I absolutely have to lol) 

 

Yeah, colloquial stuff throws me off sometimes. Most of my classes were all about formal textbook stuff and I never really learned slang and stuff. I definitely just spent half an hour on lingvist, thank you so much for sending me that way. I am super excited about it. 

 

I find myself less worried about the judgment itself and more like, how to deal with it. Like think of me what you will but don't make me explain myself, kinda thing? It's weird. My roommate is pretty great most of the time, but gets unpredictably bitchy/snarky/obnoxious about random things and I get defensive whenever she makes some kind of comment when I really just need to let it go. Okay no, now that I've written it out, I think it's more a self-esteem issue than a judgment thing. Still getting added to the running list of things to discuss with my therapist. >>

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Tofu - throw in a blender (magic bullet!) with some cocoa powder and your sweetener of choice (I go for honey if I am feeling dangerous, otherwise xylitol or stevia).  Throw in the fridge for 30 minutes.  Instant chocolate pudding.  I like to toss some freeze tried raspberries in there too.

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So my last grade finally got posted. I got a B+ in a class that's supposed to be the easiest A ever? This is also the one with the world's biggest clusterfuck of a group paper, so it must have been even worse than I thought. Since we only ever got grades back on 1 of 6 assignments, I emailed the prof and asked what my other grades were. I'm betting the paper bombed it for me though. :rolleyes: 

 

8 hours ago, Zahirah said:

Tofu - throw in a blender (magic bullet!) with some cocoa powder and your sweetener of choice (I go for honey if I am feeling dangerous, otherwise xylitol or stevia).  Throw in the fridge for 30 minutes.  Instant chocolate pudding.  I like to toss some freeze tried raspberries in there too.

oooh that sounds amazing. Do you have to use silken tofu for that, or any kind? 

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I can't help with arabic, mais je peux mélanger des langues dans mes messages, y a ver si así aprendes alguna cosilla :P

Kidding, but good luck in recovering your languages level. Do not worry too much, even when it is pretty rusted in a few days of practice it comes back.

 

Good luck with first week!

Go brave battle kitten!

ev6T2o.gif

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1 minute ago, zenLara said:

I can't help with arabic, mais je peux mélanger des langues dans mes messages, y a ver si así aprendes alguna cosilla :P

Hahaha I knew everything except "así" so hey, that worked out. Gracias. ;) I've never formally studied Spanish, I can just bullshit it decently well because of French. Gotta start somewhere, I suppose. 

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21 hours ago, fleaball said:

there's nothing that should get in the way of my completing any of my goals. Except for me. But the point of all this is to stop getting in my own way, so woo. Let's do this.

 

And here kids is the wisest thing you will read in the interwebs today!

 

Following along as always!

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3 hours ago, fleaball said:

So my last grade finally got posted. I got a B+ in a class that's supposed to be the easiest A ever? This is also the one with the world's biggest clusterfuck of a group paper, so it must have been even worse than I thought. Since we only ever got grades back on 1 of 6 assignments, I emailed the prof and asked what my other grades were. I'm betting the paper bombed it for me though. :rolleyes: 

 

oooh that sounds amazing. Do you have to use silken tofu for that, or any kind? 


I normally use silken, but I have actually used both for it and it comes out great either way :D  Tofu also works great as a thickener for smoothies.  Makes it nice and creamy!

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1 hour ago, Zahirah said:


I normally use silken, but I have actually used both for it and it comes out great either way :D  Tofu also works great as a thickener for smoothies.  Makes it nice and creamy!

Oooh. I'm gonna have to try that this week. Hooray.

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Motivation to stick to my goal of limiting takeout/fast food: without even trying, last week I only had it twice (personal pizza loaded with veggies, breakfast sandwich at Starbucks) and I also happened to lose 3 pounds? Nothing says it was related, but I was eating shit practically every day during finals week and the week prior, so I'll take it. 

 

Ironically, I'm currently watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, which is "omg crazy juice fasting woo" and all I want right now is a bacon cheeseburger. 

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1 hour ago, fleaball said:

Motivation to stick to my goal of limiting takeout/fast food: without even trying, last week I only had it twice (personal pizza loaded with veggies, breakfast sandwich at Starbucks) and I also happened to lose 3 pounds? Nothing says it was related, but I was eating shit practically every day during finals week and the week prior, so I'll take it. 

 

Ironically, I'm currently watching Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead, which is "omg crazy juice fasting woo" and all I want right now is a bacon cheeseburger. 

Watched that, tried it for a while...totally not sustainable, plus buying all that produce for juicing is SO expensive...

Have the bacon cheeseburger!

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Just now, RES said:

Watched that, tried it for a while...totally not sustainable, plus buying all that produce for juicing is SO expensive...

Have the bacon cheeseburger!

I don't want to put on a bra and go get the cheeseburger lol. If I still want it tomorrow I'll stop on my way home from school. And yeah no. They said it costs $420 a month to do the juicing thing?? I do not have that kind of money. I'll stick to eating my vegetables, thanks. 

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3 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I don't want to put on a bra and go get the cheeseburger lol. If I still want it tomorrow I'll stop on my way home from school. And yeah no. They said it costs $420 a month to do the juicing thing?? I do not have that kind of money. I'll stick to eating my vegetables, thanks. 

Bahhhaaaa....more like a week!

Eating them is better anyway, plus more filling, lest wasteful...etc...

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9 minutes ago, RES said:

Bahhhaaaa....more like a week!

Eating them is better anyway, plus more filling, lest wasteful...etc...

That too! The way the truck driver guy was carrying around a gigantic pitcher of it all the time, there's no way he only had $14 worth of produce every day. I don't care if he lived in the middle of farm country. And no way I'd be able to pull that off in DC. Pfft. Eat ALL the produce! Woo!

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Did you hear back about whether it was the group paper that pulled your grade down? Not that B+ is to be sniffed at of course, but I'm kinda curious. And damn that chocolate tofu dessert actually sounds quite good, might have to try some time! As for worrying/ getting defensive when others judge you, right there with you I'm afraid. It's an ongoing process, working on self esteem, and I'm not really sure how you're meant to improve it. My own approach is meditation, which kinda ties in positive self-affirmation (hate that term so much but what evs) and taking action - ie just going out and doing things in spite of impending judgement and gradually realising that no one else's opinion matters a damn. Like all things start small I guess. And yes, just eat the damn veges. If you're someone who wouldn't eat veges unless they are pulverised and disguised as green gloop then by all means juice away. But non-pulverised veges are surely better for you ;) 

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Nah, haven't heard back. Not sure I will, as this prof is pretty terrible about replying to emails. (I had emailed her in October? November? Asking to discuss this class bc I wasn't sure if it would fit  with what I wanted to do [turns out it doesn't, but the title looks good on a resume at least] and literally never heard back from her.) A friend of mine in a different group also got a B+ and is surprised/pissed. No it's not terrible, but when you get an A on your midterm and no other feedback you kinda think you're doing A-ish work. 

 

Self-esteem is another reason I added meditation to the challenge again this round. I know they're related and it would be nice to kill two birds with one stone. I've touched on aspects of it with my therapist (eg I genuinely think my writing is shit and yet here I am getting high marks on papers I have literally written in a single day) but never "self esteem" as a whole concept. I don't think. Beyond meditation I could probably like, say affirmations in the mirror or something? But beyond that I have a feeling it's going to be a complicated pain in the ass process. :rolleyes: 

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6 minutes ago, fleaball said:

But beyond that I have a feeling it's going to be a complicated pain in the ass process. :rolleyes: 

Hahaha oh so true! But then so are most things that are worth pursuing eh ;) I found that I was focusing on it for ages, and then all sorts of obstacles popped up that I dealt with, and eventually I just realised that self esteem was no longer top of my list of things to do/achieve/work out. It still rears its ugly head now and then for sure, but I think being aware of it as an issue and working actively to challenge it really helps in the long run. And at least you can see you've got solid proof ie good grades :) Bummer about lack of communication from the prof, at least it's over now eh!

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Mehhhhh. Today is a lame sauce day. Woke up and felt like shit, proceeded to drift in and out of sleep til 2:30, at which point I jumped out of bed and scrambled because I had time-sensitive phone calls to make. So needless to say it's not a stellar start to this challenge. Two resumes due for on campus positions before they close tonight, so that will get me started early on that goal at least. Vegan meal acheived by having my granola with soy milk instead of greek yogurt. Whee. 

 

Also, I suck at excel. Actually, I'm bad at everything visual. Can't wrap my brain around these things. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ At least I'm tracking for real this time?

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A sudden epic breakout has informed me that I'll be bleeding very soon. At least that explains the funk. 

 

Didnt wind up up applying for the on campus jobs. They were both part-time admin positions in the study abroad office for the entire academic year. Which is not what I need or want. Back to the drawing board. 

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