Couch to Knight

[Kenny Karvson]

I wrote a really long, funny and interesting post, but lost it, so here is another post:

 

I'm 37 years old and it feels like my body is falling apart. Up until my middle teenage years, I would at least do several sports in parallel. We like sports in Sweden and if you live in the middle of nowhere, what else are you going to do? Then I met my first love, computers. We had a great relationship that lead me to work for a while in Stockholm and finally moving to California, which is where in the end the last bit of magic wore off a bit and I woke up with this ... fragile, loose-ish body that can't run or the knees start hurting, have a shoulder that I can dislocate by just lifting my arm over my head and relaxing and is generally lacking in density.

 

I've spent a significant part of the last decade trying to think of something that interests me enough to make me start moving my ass. I've tried a few things, but my lack of patience and being a poster boy of fragility makes everything painful after the first week. Recently I was handed an article about the Armored Combat League (Yes, real thing), where grown men put on steel armor, group up and attack other groups with steel weapons (blunt, but full force). It's the kind of thing I used to play when I was a kid, and I really want to be part of it, but I'm not there yet.

 

Today, I am 3 weeks into my couch to knight epic quest line. I've been doing physical therapy for my shoulder and it's already strong enough that I don't fear dislocating it. In a month, it'll be like a normal (muggle, non fit, non adventurer) persons shoulder, and by next year it'll be knight strong. By next summer, I'll be a serious competitor for the regional team, if not a regular. I've also been running, because I once saw a guy run up half-dome in Yosemite National Park and it's still one of the most impressive things I've ever seen. Running is pretty boring and wearing on my knees, so I'm going to run less and replace it with other cardio. I'm also refining another epic quest line that will take me to a Spartan or Tough Mudder race next year. Or maybe Ninja Warrior. Or both. That'd be awesome. I'll be awesome.

 

TL;DR:

 

I'm going to be a knight! *runs around attacking bushes with a sword and makes knight-y noises*