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Dragon_Lady Episode 2: Attack of the Carbs


Dragon_Lady

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The Dragon Lady has returned. I am beaten and tired, but I'm back. You see I was flying relatively high and then I got a sight in my 3rd eye, and it made me lose concentration and I flew a little too low and hit the inside of a forest. There I lay, knocked out, until my mind woke. I dreamt that I needed to restart again on my spiritual as well as my physical journey. I was told to find the druids of the forest, and connect with them to heal my wings so I can fly again. 

 

So here I am. 

 

What I really want, is to lose inches and gain muscle. But, in order for myself to live long enough to get to the point where I can see myself being happy, I have to do something with myself mentally. So that includes meditation, practicing some sort of martial art, and working on my Jedi side. So I'm including those things into my life and this will be my place to talk about that.

 

The Str Stat

I am a Academy subscriber, so I have been doing the LVL 3 Bodyweight challenges. I'm on par with those and haven't missed a day aside from the one when I had a fever. So I'm going to continue to do that. I will hopefully add more strength and increase the weights I am using to coincide with what I'm doing bodyweight-wise. I'm also really mad at myself that I can't do regular push-ups, so I'm downloading an app that has me do a certain amount a day. The fact that I can barely do one really bothers me for some reason.

 

The Int Stat

I'm not known for my intelligence (even though I just finished my classes with an A). But, I do like to learn. So during the summer I have plans to continue learning a few things:

  • Japanese: I know Hiragana & Katakana. Need to continue to refine those skills and pick up phrases and incorporate Kanji.
  • Photoshop: I can draw in it well enough, but not professionally. I need to fix that.
  • Animation: Can be lumped into Photoshop, but I will never learn it unless I ...learn it.

 

 

 

The Wis Stat

I gotta get my life. Seriously, I have issues. Body issues, mind issues, relationship issues, everything issues. I'm supposed to be taking this time to figure out myself and to fix my life. Problem is I don't know how to do that. So for now, here's what I got:

 

1. Meditate every day

2. ???

3. Profit

 

That's literally all I got. I think I Googled: "How to find yourself" and it was bad. So now that my Googlefu has failed, I will have to find something else to do.

 

The Chr Stat

I been lookin for friends. I had none, now I have a few. There's a problem with that in now that I have them it's a fight to be able to talk to them, so in the meantime I need to work on my self confidence. I have -50. My skill in faking it and talking to others despite the fact that I think I look like a deformed Tauren after a fight with a Dunkin Donuts is ok. So, I need to work on fixing my confidence skill so it's in line with my faking it skill. 

 

The Agi Stat

Is a new stat. I want to not only be strong, but I want to be relatively quick and well, agile. I have no idea how to do this, so I'm just going to plop this right here for future endeavors.  I'll give myself a 1 in Agi, because while I am fat, I can still touch my toes.

 

 

Here are my current stats:

Age: 35 (human) 1750 (dragon)

Weight: 285lbs (human) 21 tons (dragon)

Int: 7

Str: 33

Wis: 12

Chr: 18.1

Agi: 1

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Kudos on your strength training consistency! There are some great Camp Nerd Fitness affiliated bloggers who do stuff with body issues, self image, etc. I love Maddie Berky; her website is at http://www.madwellness.com/

Slayer Druid

"Welcome to the Hellmouth."

 

My Epic Quest | My Battle Log | My Blog

 

Current challenge: Slayer Hits the Books

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1 hour ago, chloehawker said:

Kudos on your strength training consistency! There are some great Camp Nerd Fitness affiliated bloggers who do stuff with body issues, self image, etc. I love Maddie Berky; her website is at http://www.madwellness.com/

 

I am looking her up now!

 

Today is a definite +1 Str and +2 Wis day.

 

So Wednesday is one of my workout days. I honestly didn't feel like working out. The frustration was strong in this one. I mean I have been working out hard for 2 months, and I don't think I've had much results. My last measurements, my right leg was a quarter of an inch smaller. Really?? I can also see myself in the reflection of the giant tv we have, which makes things so much worse. It took a lot, but I worked out. Level 3B today.  The entire time I kept saying over and over in my head, "is this even doing anything? Is it possible for someone to actually work out, eat right, and have nothing happen??" 

 

But I kept going.  So now I'm done. I don't feel like I'm on top of the world, I just kinda feel tired. But I did it, and that gives me:

 

+1 Str

+2 Wis

 

Chr:

I went outside but didn't do much except complain at the Sprint person in Radio Shack because the only person who could ring me up decided to take a lunch break. Which I'm not mad at that person, I'm mad at Radio Shack for having one person in the entire place that can work the stupid register. So, staying the same. Oh but, I did figure out that I want to try to do some sort of cosplay for the comic con next weekend. I been in a rut trying to figure out what to do because I don't want to be the fat version of whatever superhero. I decided on being the new 52 version of Wonder Woman (Nubia really). Jean jacket, red shirt with yellow trim, WW tiara, WW choker, bracelets, blue jeggings, boots and some rope. Something I would actually wear about anyway...minus the jeggings part.

 

Agi: Still in the ??? category

 

So today I have:

 

Str: 34

Int: 7

Wis: 14

Chr: 18.1

Agi: 18

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So, after doing some research, I've decided to go back to being very restrictive. The only time I saw any weight loss, was when I was ketogenic, under 30g carbs, under 1400 calories, and I walked and biked. This time, I'm adding lifting to the mix, so I'm going to try to keep my macros balanced at 65/30/5% and keep my calories at 1300 on lift days, 1150 on days when I don't do anything. 

 

I'm also adding in some 30 minute dancing twice a week. I need to do something to get the body moving. Although last Thursday I danced so much that Friday I was so sore I could barely walk and didn't do my regular lifting session. I might have to slowly ramp that dancing up. 

 

 

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Str +2

So I went ahead and went down to 25g carbs and 1350 (1450 on lift days) in calories. Somehow, by the miracle of the Force, I can fit into my size 16 jeans again. I don't know if it's the calorie restriction, or the carbs but I'm not changing anything. It's been super difficult because I'm starving by the end of the day, but, apparently that just means I need more fat. Unfortunately fat is high in calorie, so I have to figure out a balance. I have not weighed myself, because I'm feeling too good to be disappointed so I'm just going to use my jeans as a measuring tool. Oh, also I can run up the stairs quite easily and lift bags of cat litter with zero problems now. Good on me I say.

 

Chr:..........TBD edit: +1 Wis -1 see below

Tomorrow is Tidewater Comic Con. I had been halfway excited/dreading this day for weeks. Part of me misses the comic con scene, part of me is scared of being fat in public. I had purchased a Wonderwoman shirt that I was going to wear to simulate Wonderwoman in her pants outfit, but, I can't seem to find my shirt anywhere. Now I have nothing that feels right, and I'm leaning on not going. I don't want to embarrass myself by being there and walking around. There were some people Iwanted to go with, but I kinda feel like I'd be in the way. My depression is pushing me to not go so hard. If I go, it'll be a miracle at this point. 

070110ww1.jpg

 

I ended up going. I have no idea what I was expecting when I went in there, only that I didn't want to be alone, and I had all these things going on in my head. Come to find out it's such a huge gathering of people that it doesn't matter if you're alone or not. I ended up doing this:

 

Drove to the wrong address because that's what was listed on the website. Saw no one around and couldn't figure out what I had wrong. Sat there waiting for friends whose car broke down. Paid $10 for the parking at a place I didnt need to park. Googled VA Beach Convention Center and it showed some place not even remotely where I was. Said eff it, drove over there...saw 10,000 nerds. Found it. Couldn't find a parking space because by the time I figured out where I was supposed to be, everybody had arrived. Drove home sad/depressed/disappointed in myself.

 

Got back home, pulled everything off and put on PJs. Friends texted me they were on the way there. Didn't want to worry about the parking scenario, so I Uber'd. Got dropped off, arrived and found one of my new friends who had friends of her own there. Briefly met them, felt kinda odd, and we traversed the area. I felt a little better after that, but disappointed because other new friends of mine were not able to make it. Think it's my fault. Not sure why, just think it is. One new person who I really adore (but am trying not to be too clingy with) wasn't able to come. Maybe it's because I talked to him a lot the other day? I dunno. Buuuut I think it's my fault. 

 

Anyway, I end up enjoying myself until my phones is about to die and I have to leave as Uber is my ride. So at the end of the day, I have a headache, I'm super tired, but I had an okay time. I still think I made it so that other new friends didn't want to come, but, I have to deal with that in time.

 

I also have to deal with the fact that I feel clingy when I feel like saying hi to new people I met.  I don't want to bother anybody and I swear I feel like I am.

 

So at the end of the day:

 

Str +2 (36)

Int: +.5 (7.5) ...managed to keep myself under $60 which INCLUDES buying a new sword and a new Wonder Woman bracelet. 

Wis: -1 (13) 

Chr: +1 (19.1) 

Agi: +.5 (18.5) ...there was a LOT of walking

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I took a week off.

 

TO be fair, it's the only real vacation I have had since literally school days. So, I indulged a bit. I ate a piece of cake. I had a Cheerwine, which I hadn't had (and is a southern thang) since probably...literally...1999. First soda I've had in 5 years. I enjoyed it with a half a small pizza my bf and I got from some local joint down in Duck, NC (OBX) where we went. I also had some strawberry shortcake with actual strawberries, and a scoop of ice cream. I also had some fudge. 

 

In addition to that though, I walked to the beach...about a 15 min walk from the house we were renting, I walked around shops, walked up a huge hill to another beach from the car twice, and swam around in the water. My arms are super sore from learning to swim. In addition, the house we rented was 3 stories, so I made an actual effort to run up and down those stairs as often as possible.

 

Unfortunately, I also developed shingles due to stress. On my FACE.   Now, a lot of shit is going down in my life right now. A lot. But for once, I had finally just decided that I wasn't going to care about my looks. I mean, I was going to continue to try to lose weight, and get healthy no doubt but, I wasn't going to stress out at the fact that I look like I do. I finally was able to look in the mirror and be ok with what I saw.  Then, shingles showed up.  Now I have a scar on the left side of my face above and to the right of my eye. I have been running about like that (also with an extremely puffy and half closed eye) the entire time. And since I was messin about in the water, my hair was curly, so I couldn't cover that side of my face. 

 

And you know, I didn't care.  I brought little sun dresses and wore them. I had my fat arms out, and my fat legs out, and didn't care. Not once. Maybe I did care and it just never really sunk in that I cared. Maybe I was just so tired and in pain from the shingles that the thought process of caring didn't come to me.

 

Or maybe I just didn't give 2 shits.  I think it's that.

 

Now though, I'm back home. I still have those dresses, and I may wear them around town. I still have my scar, and my shingles is still there (torturing me with pain and nerve tingling) and I still have a problem I need to solve, but I can't stress anymore. If nothing else, I have always known that I need to be balanced in life. I know that I can't stress out as it causes issues (and SHINGLES ffs) but really how can one stop stressing? It's damn near impossible.

 

The only thing I can do is keep my head up. Like swimming. And be like water.

 

Str +1 (37)

Int: +1 (8.5)

Wis: 1 (14) 

Chr: +1 (20.1) 

Agi: +.2(20.5)

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