Dagger's Progress as a Nomad

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-11

• Write words every day, 8/41 — Yush!
• Allow space for me-time, 7/41 — Guided meditation, so nice!
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 17/79 — nope, rest day so reduced max number

Today was my first complete day off from fitness. Like during the day it didn't feel like I needed it, but I'm pretty sure I do. From now on I think I'll take Sundays off (no hike anyway!) and aim for morning yoga every day unless too tired (or long hike day because then the hike is in the morning). Long hike days will still be the only thing I do. I might trade morning yoga with circuit training depending on how things turn out. Also depends on if my wake up time at seven works alright with trying to get to a morning activity.

 

The thing is that I'm looking for a balance where I have enough time to train my creative muscles, because it takes a bit of mental gymnastics to get me to write at the moment, but I'm shaving away on those and making the time shorter to start writing and I'll write for longer. Both those things combined will mean I can more easily do more fitness, and as I build more stamina I will be less tired by the fitness so I have the time to write. But currently I have to skip slightly less than half of the fitness classes to not be too tired to write and also to have the space for the mental gymnastics.

 

But I feel like during the last week and a half I've built more stamina and technique in the fitness realm, and I've done the same in the writing realm. Like today was my best writing day yet, but it didn't feel that hard. Although, ask me tomorrow.

 

Also, there have been more than usual socializing the last few days, this gang is a lot of fun and I feel really comfortable with them, so it feels really good to spend face to face time.

 

Today I read a long article from the NY magazine: http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/09/andrew-sullivan-technology-almost-killed-me.html

So I spent some time today cleaning up my digital life. I left several fb groups, I unliked a huge amount of fb pages, I cleaned up apps on my iPad and iPhone, and I started unfollowing people on fb. Basically started doing something I've been meaning to do for a while. I don't enjoy social media that much anyway. I don't want to fill up all the little times here and there that could be for thoughts and silence and such with mindless scrolling or internet checking or playing games/apps. I'd rather rediscover silence and stillness and being able to just stop and appreciate a beautiful rose for two minutes instead of the maybe five seconds I can muster now.

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

4 hours ago, Dagger said:

 

Today I read a long article from the NY magazine: http://nymag.com/selectall/2016/09/andrew-sullivan-technology-almost-killed-me.html

So I spent some time today cleaning up my digital life. I left several fb groups, I unliked a huge amount of fb pages, I cleaned up apps on my iPad and iPhone, and I started unfollowing people on fb. Basically started doing something I've been meaning to do for a while. I don't enjoy social media that much anyway. I don't want to fill up all the little times here and there that could be for thoughts and silence and such with mindless scrolling or internet checking or playing games/apps. I'd rather rediscover silence and stillness and being able to just stop and appreciate a beautiful rose for two minutes instead of the maybe five seconds I can muster now.

 

Thank you for sharing this article. 

[Dagger]

4 hours ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

 

Thank you for sharing this article. 

It is long, but it was totally worth the time for me.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-12

• Write words every day, 9/41 — Yush!
• Allow space for me-time, 7/41 — nope
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 19/79

Circuit training and hiking. It was 33C today. So hot... ugh.

 

The writing went really well today, I had so much fun.

 

Also the other people here are very nice and interesting. A couple of Swiss women are leaving today and they treated everyone to red wine and I didn't take any (I'm not a fan of wine). Close to the end of dinner they asked if I was sure I didn't want wine, and I said yes although the Prosecco on the alcohol menu looks good, so they treated me to a glass of that. Yummy.

 

I also learned that on Thursday I will go and get to stay two nights as thermal baths. I think it has something to do with an Italian holiday or possibly the hotel was fully booked those two nights for a wedding of something, so the fitness resort people are taking me to thermal baths alone (they have not booked other guests) and I get to spend my time there and still have the food included, plus I'll get one-two private yoga classes. The only negative (which is ignorable) is that I need to pack up everything, stay two nights that (oh horror!) and then unpack back here again. Not a big thing, but still something I hadn't expected. Thermal baths... I'll forgive them.

[Vibrantella]

15 hours ago, Dagger said:

I get to spend my time there and still have the food included, plus I'll get one-two private yoga classes

Wow, that sounds nice!  Did you give us a link to the fitness resort?  (Maybe better do it after you leave.)  They should pay you for marketing services!  

[Dagger]

47 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

Wow, that sounds nice!  Did you give us a link to the fitness resort?  (Maybe better do it after you leave.)  They should pay you for marketing services!  

Haha. They are called Tuscan Fitness. And I don't think most people get the thermal baths for free, lol. I think it is an optionla day trip for money though.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-13

• Write words every day, 10/41 — Surprisingly yes
• Allow space for me-time, 8/41 — Yes in a very different way (taking dinner alone is what I'm counting here)
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 21/79

So last week, I had two days of kinda meh days. They came after a really good writing day. A really good writing day where I forgot to have enough rest/refilling the well moments. The first day I didn't really recognize the signs except for feeling unmotivated to write. And by missing the signs I lost two days.

 

So yesterday when I felt blah about writing (and I happened to feel quite emotional on the first day too, last week I only got grumpy the second day), I knew I needed to spend some time on whatever I wanted to do, which is not always an easy thing if you are unsure what you want to do. Dilemmas...

 

I did the morning yoga before breakfast (that starts at 9), and then I spent the rest of the time until lunch on posting/scheduling blog posts plus reading some blogs.

 

At lunch time I really noticed my emotions swaying. I went from feeling grumpy to feeling weepy with no way to say why, because there wasn't really a reason behind it so to say.

 

After lunch, I read some more blogs and watched a video, all in service of doing what I felt like not what I thought I needed to do. About half an hour before the afternoon hike, I laid back on my bed with a five minute timer and asked myself if I wanted to hike, if I'd want to write instead, and also if maybe I should eat dinner by myself for the first time in one and a half weeks.

 

The interesting thing here is that I knew that I'd probably get to eat meals by myself come Thursday when I'm at the thermal baths, or at most I'll have one of the Tuscan Fitness people with me. So a part of me wanted to say to just push through, you'll get your wish in two days anyway. While another part was softly saying that I needed the time off today, not in two days.

 

Basically this was a time to either give myself permission to ask for exactly what I needed which was to write for 5 minutes, go on the hike, then write more and have dinner by myself so I could watch videos while eating and pick up writing right after. That is what I wanted, and I decided that I'd ask if I could have dinner alone and go for it if possible.

 

It was so the right decision. After getting back from hiking, I took a shower. The hike that day had felt really hard for me for some reason. I then spent some time on other things until right before dinner, when I perked up and lost myself in writing.

 

I've been reminding myself the last few days that I do writing because I love, because it is so much fun. If I go into it with that attitude it is even more fun. (Despite writing dark scenes!) And I'm finally seeing my planted seeds bearing fruit. I spent a longer block of time writing yesterday than I have in a long time. I also had so much fun every time I put fingers to keyboard and I didn't worry about how long I had to write or how it turned out. I just wrote. So I'm making great progress here, all thanks to the summer novel challenge.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-14

• Write words every day, 11/41 — Alright for a sleepy day
• Allow space for me-time, 8/41 — nope
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 23/79 — hiking and barre tabeta training

Wednesdays are long hike in the morning days, but since it was the same one I've done before, I only joined for the first hour or so. Then I had a barre class tabeta style. It was so tiring. My body was tired for the rest of the day, ugh.

 

It is hard to get up to anything when the body is that tired, this includes writing. So that I managed to rally long enough to have a 15-30 minutes session is something I'm happy about. I also had to pack yesterday since I'll be going to thermal baths the next day (aka today since I'm writing this a day late).

 

Also, I borrowed a scale and this morning (so not really part of June 14) I weighted myself plus took measurements. Also remember I am using a different scale so... Anyway...

Last time I weight myself, 2017-04-29: 106,7 kg

2017-06-15: 104,8 kg

 

Last time I took all measures were apparently in August last year, and I've lost cm from all areas since then, most notably 5cm/2inch off my waist. (I had also measured my waist on May 12 this year, and I've lost 4 cm since then, or I potentially measured badly, not sure which...)

 

They are all going in the right direction and now I'm off to morning yoga, ciao!

[Vibrantella]

Well done on your shrinking!  

 

Rest and recovery are supremely important for fitness and health (including mental health and motivation).   I've discovered that if I don't sleep enough (at least 8 hours) after my weight training, I am extremely grumpy in the morning! 

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

Fantastic progress! I love the enthusiasm where you talk about why you are writing. Sounds like the words flow a lot better when you're too busy enjoying the process rather than tracking your time/ words/ etc 

 

Enjoy the thermal baths! That sounds like a great extra

[Dagger]

17 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

Well done on your shrinking!  

 

Rest and recovery are supremely important for fitness and health (including mental health and motivation).   I've discovered that if I don't sleep enough (at least 8 hours) after my weight training, I am extremely grumpy in the morning! 

Thanks!

 

Sleeping is definitely key. Last night my body asked to go to sleep early and despite my plan to write more I followed it. So probably got around 9 hours sleep.  I usually aim for 8 too.

[Dagger]

4 hours ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

Fantastic progress! I love the enthusiasm where you talk about why you are writing. Sounds like the words flow a lot better when you're too busy enjoying the process rather than tracking your time/ words/ etc 

 

Enjoy the thermal baths! That sounds like a great extra

Oh yeah, definitively. I do track how much I write every day since I have a deadline to hit. But when I sit down to write I need to remember just to have fun and that the novel only needs to be done, not good. It helps with perfectionism.

 

I am enjoying them so far!

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-15

• Write words every day, 12/41 — Alright for a thermal baths day
• Allow space for me-time, 8/41 — nope
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 24/78 — yoga and reduced the max by one

Before noon I did yoga, ate breakfast, checked out of my room and spent time on my iPad doing digital clean up duties (aka stuff I've been ignoring).

 

Then I was driven to the thermal baths. Ate lunch, bathed in the thermal bath (max 30mins per time), wrote a few words, napped, wrote a few more words until it started to rain so we had to go inside, another bath in the thermal outside to also be rained on (sp nice!). A few more words happened, then dinner and reading a little. And then boom. I was so tired about an hour and a half before I usually go to bed, so I just went to bed.

 

Thermal baths is actually quite tiring for the body.

 

I only got one hour activity, but these days are supposed to be rest so... *shrugs*

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-16

• Write words every day, 13/41 — good day
• Allow space for me-time, 9/41 — a nice one while in the bath
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 25/77 — workout and reduced the max by one

This was a great day. I felt relaxed and calm most of the day. The food at the thermal baths hotel is great. I also got enough writing done that I'm super happy with. And the Tuscan Fitness person who spent the day with me (such a hard work day, huh? hanging at a thermal bath) took me through a hard work out.

 

Actually talking about workouts. I've found it strange that I haven't been sore after any of them. Well, I might have been a little sore after the Wednesday one, but only in parts of my shoulders that I don't use normally so it didn't bother me. Now I know that with good nutrition and good sleep, you can avoid a lot of soreness. But I've had none? It kinda confuses me. Mind, I'm not judging myself for my lack of soreness, just kinda curious.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-17

• Write words every day, 14/41
• Allow space for me-time, 10/41
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 26/76 — yoga and reduced one

Today it was back to the normal place with Tuscan Fitness. So I packed stuff up (I didn't really unpack) and then unpacked. The unpacking was actually kind of interesting, because I skipped unpacking all the things I didn't use my first two weeks and I realized that I can get rid of at least two of my four spaghetti strap tops. (Then I can get rid off more that I have at home.) And this is all good because I need to reduce the amount of stuff I have so I can fit it into smaller travel bags.

 

I did yoga this afternoon and finally had the pleasure of having yoga with the third teacher. He only does it when neither of the other two can, and so far I've usually been on the hike when he's had a class before. It was also a private lesson because the new arrivals for the day didn't come until later (two of them and I've only met one because the other arrived after dinner).

 

Writing has been slow because of the split up day and I'm still debating if I should go ahead and try to write a little more or call it a night. It would be good with more, but I got at least a decent amount for the day (about half of my goal, I aim for about 1000 words a day). I need to ramp up in the next few days because half the month is gone and I need to finish this before or on June 30th. I do think it'll come out at about 30'000 words, so I am on track for that. But it would be nice to get a bit ahead especially if it turns out to be somewhat longer.

 

I don't want to need to hermit to get it done in time.

[Dagger]

For third time in about 2.5 weeks, I am feeling melancholy. Not sure if that is how I'd describe in the previous two occasions, but it definitely fits today. I can see no pattern. I think both other times were after big writing days, but I didn't have a big writing day yesterday.

 

The problem is as usual that when I try to ask myself what I want to do or what I need, nothing comes to mind except possibly curling into a ball and wishing the day to end. Except if I do that then the feeling will definitely linger until tomorrow, although tomorrow I might figure out what to do to elevate it.

 

I figure there is some need that I'm not fulfilling. A need I don't even hear whispering about help and then when it has been ignored too long it just drags me into this mood, whatever this mood is.

[Vibrantella]

5 hours ago, Dagger said:

I figure there is some need that I'm not fulfilling.

Maybe it's a need to be melancholy, for just one day?  We cannot always be positive and optimistic.  Even when there's nothing wrong, there is yin to every yang, or the dark moon on the other side of the full lunation.  Or maybe you need this day to pose a problem which you will solve tomorrow. 

 

Be gentle with yourself.

[Dagger]

8 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

Maybe it's a need to be melancholy, for just one day?  We cannot always be positive and optimistic.  Even when there's nothing wrong, there is yin to every yang, or the dark moon on the other side of the full lunation.  Or maybe you need this day to pose a problem which you will solve tomorrow. 

 

Be gentle with yourself.

Thank you. That might be it, but if it was like the ones before, then there was actually a need I hadn't been fulfilling that niggled me down. I can't speak for yesterday though, although I think I might have an idea, but I can't check the pattern because I don't have the corresponding data. More in my daily report right after this.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-18

• Write words every day, 15/41
• Allow space for me-time, 10/41
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 27/75 — HIT and skipped yoga because melancholy/nap (because of melancholy I reduced by one)

So as I mentioned above, I felt quite melancholy most of the day. About 40 minutes before dinner I managed to get myself to my writing project and wrote 500 words in a pretty short time. I think this was the first part of shaking it loose. (During the first 12ish hours of the day, I managed to eek out 500 all together in a few minutes here and there when I managed to drag myself to my project.) Then at dinner, I at first really felt it and then the discussion with the new people that came yesterday and one today went to a subject that really interested me and I got all engaged and stayed engaged and happy for the rest of dinner and then for the rest of the evening (which I let be much longer than I should have... went to bed late).

 

So now I'm wondering if the timing of them is usually around new arrivals, especially if I don't have people that have already been there for a couple of days to interact with. The first few discussions with people are almost all the same and it is all about figuring out how well I'll get along with someone and there is definitely some social anxiety or at least social discomfort around it. So perhaps the melancholy happens because I expend extra social energy when getting to know people and the following day there is a backlash.

 

I think it might be that too because of how it was broken. It broke because I got comfortable with them, I got engaged in a really interesting conversation and finally relaxed in their presence.

 

Next time, if there is one, will tell. Although with the first one I'm pretty sure it was a re-fill the creative well thing, but who knows? I didn't even think about the possibility of social discomfort draining my energy.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-19

• Write words every day, 16/41
• Allow space for me-time, 10/41
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 28/75 — Hike but skipped yoga/HIT

I didn't mean to skip one fitness activity, it kinda just happened today. Part of it was because I started reading fiction early and thought I'd finish the book since there was so little left and then boom it was 1 pm and time for lunch—kinda.

 

Today was a great writing day. Like it started really slow and I only stole short periods, but I got rolling after lunch and ended up with my highest count yet and I'm back above 1000 words per day in June (meaning I am now above 19k words). The story is wrapping up at a speed that I think I'll hit 30k and not much more, so in some ways perfect for this challenge.

Now it'll be fun to watch tomorrow to see how my mood is. Will the big writing day tire me out or did I have too much fun and I just want to keep going now that everything is racing into the last third of the story.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-20

• Write words every day, 17/41 — So little ;_;
• Allow space for me-time, 10/41
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 30/75 — Yoga and hike

I was so tired all day. I napped between breakfast and lunch. Then in the afternoon I was still super tired. Between the hike and dinner I went to the supermarket; otherwise I usually write during that time. So now I'm definitely behind again and I don't think I didn't write because I had a big day before. I was not mentally tired, my whole being/body was just "sleep, more sleep, give me sleep, sleep sleep sleep".

[Vibrantella]

2 hours ago, Dagger said:

"sleep, more sleep, give me sleep, sleep sleep sleep".

Is it the heat?  That's exactly how I'm currently feeling at 34 degrees C, but I have to be at work. 

Every summer when we go for our 2 weeks in the South of France, I have to factor in a daily siesta after lunch, it's just needed.

 

 

[Dagger]

8 hours ago, Vibrantella said:

Is it the heat?  That's exactly how I'm currently feeling at 34 degrees C, but I have to be at work. 

Every summer when we go for our 2 weeks in the South of France, I have to factor in a daily siesta after lunch, it's just needed.

 It could be, but it has been the same temperature almost all my three weeks here so it would be strange to suddenly hit me much harder for the day. The strange thing was that I felt like napping between breakfast and lunch; I've felt like napping in the afternoon on other days, so it was the timing that felt strange.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-21

• Write words every day, 18/41 — A fine amount, aka hitting the target
• Allow space for me-time, 10/41
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 32/75 — Hike and barre

So I wonder why I'm ignoring me-time so much, actually I'm not wondering. I think I get the benefit from diving into my writing, so when I a couple of months back said I wanted writing to be part of my self-care (and it was a wish more than thinking it would really work) I guess I was right. It actually do work as my self care. Or I'm just feeling good and therefore it is easy to neglect until I feel worse. Who knows?

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Resort Time, 2017-06-22

• Write words every day, 19/41
• Allow space for me-time, 10/41
• Spend two hours on any fitness activity/-ies per day: 34/75 — Swim and hike

I'm definitely having to commit to the fitness. I find it easy to do one class a day. That isn't really will power based, but actually fully committing to two is having me need to use will power to make sure I do go to two. Like before noon today, I was doing laundry and I was so close to just saying that I didn't have time to swim, I'd be choosing between swimming and writing and what is more important after all? But then I knew I'd only get one class/hour/activity done if I didn't do something before lunch. And it is important enough for me to get my two activities/hours.

 

Today even the hike tested my will power. Not because I was debating between that and writing, but just because laundry and hanging the laundry to dry and everything took time that I'm used to spending otherwise.

 

And all around that is my commitment to writing and making sure I write enough so I can finish by June 30th. In some ways, when I'm more busy I use the short moments more for writing and I get to the writing quicker when I have bigger blocks of time because I recognized I might not write otherwise. Those instincts are good, and I'm happy I follow them because hopefully I'll start using them even when it isn't the only time of the day I can write. If that makes sense.