Dagger's Progress as a Nomad

[J3NN]

10 hours ago, Dagger said:

How to get to know people as an adult? Really get to know them? I have no clue. I think millennials need this info too, because facebook "friends" does not friends make. I feel like I'm struggling through a dark forest, hitting every twig, bush and bramble, as I try to figure out how to keep and grow relationships after the initial connection. Added difficulty is that I travel and won't be able to meet people face to face often.

 

Maybe I'll keep working on this as an idea, I'll keep working on figuring it out so I CAN write about it.

 

I'll interview you for it when the time comes too

[Dagger]

14 hours ago, J3NN said:

Maybe I'll keep working on this as an idea, I'll keep working on figuring it out so I CAN write about it.

 

I'll interview you for it when the time comes too

Sure, especially if I've started to figure out something!

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Post-Resort Time, 2017-07-17

• Write words every day, 3/5
• Check out, train to Pisa, and check into hotel, July 13, 1/1
• Visit the Pisa tower, July 14, 1/1
• Check out of hotel, train to Massa, spend weekend in Massa with my friend, train back to Pisa, and check into hotel again, July 14-16, 3/3
• Check out and fly back to Sweden, July 17, 1/1

As expected I got home and wanted some relaxation so I signed up to HBO nordic and started watching Supergirl season 2, guess who has already watched two episodes and are planing to probably watch at least two more today?

 

At least I have already checked that the bed is made and such so I can fall into bed later.

[Dagger]

4 hours ago, Dagger said:

are planing to probably watch at least two more today?

At least was the word. Four episodes later (six total) it is almost 1 am, and I should sleep. My semi-vacation from normal routines ends tomorrow.

 

From tomorrow on I want to try and enforce a strict bedtime and ignore wake up time. I'll let my body decide when I'll get up. So I might be in for some very long mornings, lol. And if it gets out of hand I'll start having an alarm again.

[Dagger]

I'm in one of my planing phases I just realized. When I get into these, it is like different parts of my life is crystalizing and I can write down priorities and to do lists. I did it with the digital declutter to do list, and the Sweden goals. And today I made a long list for my marketing duties for writing and publishing what needs to be done and such.

 

The one thing I don't have for these phases? Is a working system where I can track this. Like I have some of it here on my battle log. And I could add my marketing list too (after I scrub it of some specifics). I guess I'll figure it out when I've gotten to the stage I talked about a few days ago, the stage when it is time to add in weekly planing and review. Aka when I do my writing timely enough I have time to do other things in the same day, and not only what absolutely needs to happen.

 

For the longer lists, I really need something either so simple I don't irritated that it can't do exactly what I want, something adaptable enough that I can change organization easy when my mind wants something new or see something in a new way, or something that suddenly just clicks with me forever. Lol, I'm betting on number one or two. Number two would be the best option. Like sometimes I want to view tasks by category and with the indention I've created. Sometimes I want to be able to assign tasks to certain days/as next actions and just see the next actions. Sometimes I want... well I can't come up with a third scenario right now, but I can tell you it exists.

 

I might be looking at productivity programs again, but with an eye to only to do lists, and not care about daily tasks or process goals. So it would be for projects and one off tasks.

 

Something with more organization than the Notes program on Macs (which I really like for notes and such). If you know of any that seems to fit what I say about, please tell me.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Sweden Time, 2017-07-18

• Write every day, 0/12
• Fixing pass on July novel, 0/1
• Send in July novel, 0/1
• Focus on eating a lot of veggies every day, 1/12
• Do each recipe (except one, no food processor) I learned once, 0/3
• Walk for ca 1 hour every day with the hiking backpack, 1/12
• On alternating days do a bodyweight workout and yoga/stretching, 0/12 (0/6 workouts, 0/6 stretching/yoga)

I don't really want to talk about the day. I'll say another thing (beside planing phase) that I realized.

 

I see being here in my childhood home as a break from life. As if when I'm here, time stands still and dealing with my normal things are like 5x harder. Why I feel like this I'm not quite sure. But being here is part of life too. It isn't taking a break from my "real" life, whatever that means.

 

This does explain why I always find it hard to be my current self while here.

[Dagger]

Also yesterday booked a quick trip to visit my parents. So I'll go tomorrow morning (Thursday) and come home late afternoon on Friday. About 4-4.5 hour travel in each direction. But I had a coupon so I could get first class train tickets for less than second class. Not that I know if first class is that much better, but hey, the tickets were cheaper so I don't care.

[WolfDreamer]

6 hours ago, Dagger said:

This does explain why I always find it hard to be my current self while here.

 

I'm just glad to see you're still at it and that you still take the time to stay in touch. Proud of you. 

[Severine]

On 7/14/2017 at 2:44 AM, Dagger said:

So it proves something I've been thinking, that community really makes or breaks a place. And probably in the future I'll have to create that, rather than fall into an existing one. Wherever I go I'll need to find people who I can care about who'll fulfill the social needs I have and who I can share with and be a rock for them when need it. (It isn't all about me.)

 

On 7/15/2017 at 11:07 PM, J3NN said:

I'm so there with you. I had forgotten what that was like until I found the rebels on this board. I think the Gish thing is like that too, but this is only my second year doing that, and the first year with a team of people I really know.  I can't wait to see what this turns into and hope that I am finally learning how to build my own community. 

 

When I was thinking about what to write for my blog I kept coming back to community and adult friendships. How hard it is to make and keep friends as an adult. I wanted to write a how to guide. But then I realized I didn't know how to. I started researching etiquette, trying to learn how to be nice, and thankful, how to entertain, how to be social. I think there's a whole niche out there waiting to be filled. Maybe it's more for the Gen X crew than the millennials, but I bet there's a way to make it translate... Or maybe I shouldn't be taking since I'm all brain dead. Who knows!

 

Finally caught up. Apologies for being MIA so long, in more respects than one.

 

What you (both) wrote above really rings true for me. Having good people around us, to whom we have a meaningful connection, is I think the single biggest determiner of happiness. But aside from school or work it can sometimes be hard to make new connections, especially for certain personality types.

 

I really hope the community at the place in Barcelona turns out to be a good fit, too, and that you connect with some of the people on the trip in Norway!

[Dagger]

2 hours ago, Severine said:

Finally caught up. Apologies for being MIA so long, in more respects than one.

I have missed you. Great to have you back! <3

 

2 hours ago, Severine said:

What you (both) wrote above really rings true for me. Having good people around us, to whom we have a meaningful connection, is I think the single biggest determiner of happiness. But aside from school or work it can sometimes be hard to make new connections, especially for certain personality types.

I think the biggest problem for me (and I imagine I'm not alone) is that I never learned how to build deep connections except by spending a lot of time together, which is something that doesn't happen much as adults except for co-workers unless you work by yourself as me.

 

I also think part of it is that I was never taught that it is okay to have short-term friendships too. People who are great while you happen to be in the same place at the same time, but you don't have to keep someone as a friend beyond that. For me that seems to have come about more due to FB and other social media. You can stay connected forever with your "friends". This is why social media dissolution me.

 

2 hours ago, Severine said:

I really hope the community at the place in Barcelona turns out to be a good fit, too, and that you connect with some of the people on the trip in Norway!

Barcelona will probably be cool, and so should London be although there might be a lot of people coming and going there too like in Italy. Norway... haha, I have a suspicion I'm the least fit person and I will be the only woman. Recipe for disaster or not? I don't know.

[Dagger]

7 hours ago, Wolfen said:

 

I'm just glad to see you're still at it and that you still take the time to stay in touch. Proud of you. 

Thank you. I'm doing my best and finding my feet here. Maybe not at the speed I had hoped, but I'll get there.

[Dagger]

Nothing like living with what you can fit in one suitcase for seven weeks to come back to the mess I left and realize: fuck, I have so many clothes and things to donate and no car to take them to charity. >_>

 

Also remembered I was supposed to try and sell a couple of things. I might need to plan either coming home for a visit this fall or late spring/early summer next year to sell those off.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Sweden Time, 2017-07-19

• Write every day, 1/12
• Fixing pass on July novel, 0/1
• Send in July novel, 0/1
• Focus on eating a lot of veggies every day, 2/12
• Do each recipe (except one, no food processor) I learned once (green bean salad, veggies burgers, frittata), 0/3
• Walk for ca 1 hour every day with the hiking backpack, 2/12
• On alternating days do a bodyweight workout and yoga/stretching, 0/12 (0/6 workouts, 0/6 stretching/yoga)

Ugh, my wrist really hurts, I think it is because I was sitting a certain way and putting pressure on my wrist and I haven't done a workout since Thursday last week which also means no stretching. Considering I kinda need my wrists for work I will take the time to stretch today (writing this report the morning after).

 

I did write. I had salad for lunch and then tried some of my reduced balsamic vinegar (called glassa in Italian I believe) on my dinner (tortellini and salad), yum yum yum. It is sweeter than normal balsamic and it is thicker (no idea if all you need to do is reduce it to make it happen, I bought thingy in Italy).

 

After dinner a took a walk, very glad I did, and very grateful how late it gets dark here in summer.

[SymphonicDan]

Ah, how have I not discovered this thread before!? You're doing such interesting things, and it feels especially relevant to me because I'm also nomadic, and have been hopping between different places (Slovenia, Valencia, Nicaragua, Guatemala, Barcelona, Edinburgh, Oxford, ...) doing different things (learning, volunteering, travelling) similarly to you, and I'm always looking for more adventures for the future.

 

I'm also around London in August - PM me if you'd like to meet sometime to talk nomad life or fitness life  In particular I'm at an event 21st-24th August and a wedding in early September.

 

One thing that stands out to me as a difference between your travels and mine is that you seem to have been mainly spending time in expensive places (London, Costa Rica, hotels, roam.co) whereas I've tried to find cheaper solutions (Budapest, Guatemala, hostels, AirBnB). Maybe what you're doing makes more sense for your situation, but for me accommodation was the greatest expenditure and so it was worth being more economical with that.

 

Also you mentioned in a few places about difficulties balancing social connections when travelling - if you want any tips on that do ask. There are a few avenues I've found for meeting interesting people in new locations so I rarely feel lonely.

 

The fitness camp looks interesting - would you recommend it to me?

 

I'm impressed with your organization through all of this - keep it up!

[Dagger]

On 7/20/2017 at 11:28 AM, SymphonicDan said:

One thing that stands out to me as a difference between your travels and mine is that you seem to have been mainly spending time in expensive places (London, Costa Rica, hotels, roam.co) whereas I've tried to find cheaper solutions (Budapest, Guatemala, hostels, AirBnB). Maybe what you're doing makes more sense for your situation, but for me accommodation was the greatest expenditure and so it was worth being more economical with that.

Part of it has just happened this way due to earlier commitments and part of it is also that I haven't figured out my packing situation yet (lol). Also, I wanted to be sure I'd be comfortable this summer while doing a novel challenge.

 

I definitely want to step out of my comfort zone and go to other kinds of places, at the same time I also want to see some of these more expensive places since I haven't visited them before. (August will be my first time in London and UK overall.)

 

On 7/20/2017 at 11:28 AM, SymphonicDan said:

Also you mentioned in a few places about difficulties balancing social connections when travelling - if you want any tips on that do ask. There are a few avenues I've found for meeting interesting people in new locations so I rarely feel lonely.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I definitely want to work on my skills to connect with people more easily.

 

On 7/20/2017 at 11:28 AM, SymphonicDan said:

The fitness camp looks interesting - would you recommend it to me?

If you mean Tuscan Fitness? I'd definitely recommend it, but it is expensive. I think it was worth it, because I was looking for help in changing my mindset on food (and what my body was used to eating), and to have classes to "force" me to workout. There is an element of accountability when they know everyone they have in their program. There were usually around 10ish people there at a time and max 20. A few times it was as few as 2-4. If we meet up in London, we can talk more about it.

 

On 7/20/2017 at 11:28 AM, SymphonicDan said:

I'm impressed with your organization through all of this - keep it up!

Thanks.

 

On 7/20/2017 at 11:28 AM, SymphonicDan said:

I'm also around London in August - PM me if you'd like to meet sometime to talk nomad life or fitness life  In particular I'm at an event 21st-24th August and a wedding in early September.

I'd love to meet up. Let's PM closer to the dates you'll visit London.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Sweden Time, 2017-07-20

• Write every day, 2/12
• Fixing pass on July novel, 0/1
• Send in July novel, 0/1
• Focus on eating a lot of veggies every day, 3/12
• Do each recipe (except one, no food processor) I learned once (green bean salad, veggies burgers, frittata), 0/3
• Walk for ca 1 hour every day with the hiking backpack, 3/12
• On alternating days do a bodyweight workout and yoga/stretching, 0/12 (0/6 workouts, 0/6 stretching/yoga)

Resting my wrist and doing some stretches really helped. It has also probably helped that I haven't been an idiot with it.

 

I did get a bit of writing done on the train ride up to visit my parents. I suck at writing while going on trains or planes, plus apparently I was really tired.

 

The room I sleep in doesn't have proper curtains so sunlight wakes me up at 7:30 no matter when I go to bed, so I've been somewhat short of sleep.

 

I had a nice time with my parents (writing this after coming home later afternoon the day after). I was glad to see them since I probably won't see them again for a few months if not closer to a year...

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Sweden Time, 2017-07-21

• Write every day, 2/12
• Fixing pass on July novel, 0/1
• Send in July novel, 0/1
• Focus on eating a lot of veggies every day, 4/12
• Do each recipe (except one, no food processor) I learned once (green bean salad, veggies burgers, frittata), 0/3
• Walk for ca 1 hour every day with the hiking backpack, 3/12
• On alternating days do a bodyweight workout and yoga/stretching, 0/12 (0/6 workouts, 0/6 stretching/yoga)

Half the day spent with my parents, the rest spent on a train back and then dinner and Supergirl. More or less.

 

July novel... *le sigh*

[SymphonicDan]

20 hours ago, Dagger said:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. I definitely want to work on my skills to connect with people more easily.

 

Okay, the most useful ways I've found of meeting people when travelling are:

• staying in hostels where there are loads of independent travellers. Everyone's generally very friendly and approachable, but depending where and when you travel you'll find more:
  • solo backpackers from college
  • solo backpackers from later in their career
  • short-break travellers looking to party until 4am
  • long-term travellers staying cheaply while they do their thing
• volunteering / working / studying / participating in any projects. The Tuscan fitness thing you did falls under this category, as did my volunteering now in Oxford, as a guide in Nicaragua, when I was in the Summer School, etc.
• couchsurfing - they have meet-ups and events for people just like you, even if you're not using it for staying with anyone
• language exchange events - often these are more social forums than language practice groups, just they make people feel welcome even if their proficiency in the language isn't so high
• putting out a FB status asking whether anyone you know is in the city you'll be going to (I've been surprised in the past that X whom I haven't seen for 3 years is there and wants to hang out)
• hippie cafés often have some social things that might interest you, even if you're not a hardcore vegan free-range kale farmer
• social dance classes (I do salsa/bachata and they're usually friendly events)
• doing touristic things and being approachable to random solo tourists... I've met people in a chocolate museum gift shop, waiting for a boat, a Holi festival, a walking tour, many organized tours, hiking or visiting viewpoints, in a geothermal pool, on a bus, etc. It's easier in countries where the locals generally look non-white (e.g. tropical countries) because you can spot the tourists (who are more likely to want to chat with you) more easily.

 

 

20 hours ago, Dagger said:

If you mean Tuscan Fitness? I'd definitely recommend it, but it is expensive. I think it was worth it, because I was looking for help in changing my mindset on food (and what my body was used to eating), and to have classes to "force" me to workout. There is an element of accountability when they know everyone they have in their program. There were usually around 10ish people there at a time and max 20. A few times it was as few as 2-4. If we meet up in London, we can talk more about it.

 

If that's the one you did, yep! I'd probably be reluctant to spend so much on something like that when I'm quite independent, but I'll ask you more later.

 

 

20 hours ago, Dagger said:

I'd love to meet up. Let's PM closer to the dates you'll visit London.

 

Cool  I'll let you know. Probably around 20th - 25th August.

[Severine]

I've had a lot of luck making what I call "travel friends" the times I've travelled alone. In line with what @SymphonicDan said, a lot of it came from just being friendly and talkative in hostels (and spending time in the common areas) and being approachable and friendly while out in the world or on trains or whatever. Making eye contact and smiling, commenting on a book someone is reading on the train, etc. It meant for a lot of great conversations, and people to have dinner with and go on hikes with or see tourist sights with or whatnot.

 

But although they were pleasant interactions in the moment and gave me a chance to meet interesting people and have company for a couple of days here and there, none of the interactions ever evolved into any kind of substantial long-term connection. That's not necessarily a problem - connections can be short term and still be good - but in moments when I was feeling lonely or cynical it was easy for me to dismiss the interactions as surface level associations of convenience. 

[NeverThatBored]

On 7/16/2017 at 1:30 PM, Dagger said:

 

Yesterday I finished a new to me fiction book by a new to me author. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Let me preface this by saying that the trilogy is not finished yet and unfortunately I didn't learn this until I'd already gotten hooked. *Note to self: always check when someone recommends a series just how often books come out and if they are stand alones within the series*

 

That said the book is excellent and super interesting. I haven't yet gotten the second book and I might wait a while, because right now no one knows when the third book will come out, so...

 

Anyway, you've been warned. I might however go and read other works by him because he's an excellent storyteller and writer.

 

I LOVE The Name of the Wind. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Patrick Rothfuss is awesome and I'll often go read some of his work when I just feel like reading some good writing. He seems like a pretty cool dude in general too - I follow his facebook page and he posts some neat stuff. 

 

I think The Name of The Wind was his first book though, so there's not much out there by him. He did publish a side book about Auri called The Slow Regard of Silent Things, which is very different from your average book. Some people loved it and some people hated it.

[Dagger]

On 7/22/2017 at 4:20 PM, SymphonicDan said:

Okay, the most useful ways I've found of meeting people when travelling are:

• staying in hostels where there are loads of independent travellers. Everyone's generally very friendly and approachable, but depending where and when you travel you'll find more:
  • solo backpackers from college
  • solo backpackers from later in their career
  • short-break travellers looking to party until 4am
  • long-term travellers staying cheaply while they do their thing
• volunteering / working / studying / participating in any projects. The Tuscan fitness thing you did falls under this category, as did my volunteering now in Oxford, as a guide in Nicaragua, when I was in the Summer School, etc.
• couchsurfing - they have meet-ups and events for people just like you, even if you're not using it for staying with anyone
• language exchange events - often these are more social forums than language practice groups, just they make people feel welcome even if their proficiency in the language isn't so high
• putting out a FB status asking whether anyone you know is in the city you'll be going to (I've been surprised in the past that X whom I haven't seen for 3 years is there and wants to hang out)
• hippie cafés often have some social things that might interest you, even if you're not a hardcore vegan free-range kale farmer
• social dance classes (I do salsa/bachata and they're usually friendly events)
• doing touristic things and being approachable to random solo tourists... I've met people in a chocolate museum gift shop, waiting for a boat, a Holi festival, a walking tour, many organized tours, hiking or visiting viewpoints, in a geothermal pool, on a bus, etc. It's easier in countries where the locals generally look non-white (e.g. tropical countries) because you can spot the tourists (who are more likely to want to chat with you) more easily.

Thanks! A lot of great options.

 

I'll get back to this list when I'm not staying in different co-living/co-working spaces.  

[Dagger]

On 7/22/2017 at 6:55 PM, Severine said:

I've had a lot of luck making what I call "travel friends" the times I've travelled alone. In line with what @SymphonicDan said, a lot of it came from just being friendly and talkative in hostels (and spending time in the common areas) and being approachable and friendly while out in the world or on trains or whatever. Making eye contact and smiling, commenting on a book someone is reading on the train, etc. It meant for a lot of great conversations, and people to have dinner with and go on hikes with or see tourist sights with or whatnot.

 

But although they were pleasant interactions in the moment and gave me a chance to meet interesting people and have company for a couple of days here and there, none of the interactions ever evolved into any kind of substantial long-term connection. That's not necessarily a problem - connections can be short term and still be good - but in moments when I was feeling lonely or cynical it was easy for me to dismiss the interactions as surface level associations of convenience. 

I hear you on the fleeting relationships. I think these first six weeks really gave me a good perspective on this. I met a lot of great people, but there are only a few that I really want to keep in contact with. I'll try to meet up with several when I visit London because so many lived there, but otherwise there are only 2-4 people (outside the Tuscan Fitness guys) that I really want to be friends with. And that is alright by me, I'd go crazy from trying to keep up with everyone if I tried to stay in touch with them all. O_O

[Dagger]

17 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

I LOVE The Name of the Wind. LOVE LOVE LOVE. Patrick Rothfuss is awesome and I'll often go read some of his work when I just feel like reading some good writing. He seems like a pretty cool dude in general too - I follow his facebook page and he posts some neat stuff. 

 

I think The Name of The Wind was his first book though, so there's not much out there by him. He did publish a side book about Auri called The Slow Regard of Silent Things, which is very different from your average book. Some people loved it and some people hated it.

I've looked into that Auri book, and I might read it because I found Auri so charming. But I understand it to be a narrative character study rather than a story. I might download a sample and see how I like it, but not until I've read the second book which I'm right now not putting to the top of my to-be-read pile because I have a feeling I'll be gagging to read book three by the end of book two, and there is no book three yet...

 

However, definitely a writer I will follow and read because gosh was Name of the Wind great.

[Dagger]

Daily Report, Sweden Time, 2017-07-22 - 2017-07-23

• Write every day, 2/12
• Finish July novel, 0/1
• Fixing pass on July novel, 0/1
• Send in July novel, 0/1
• Focus on eating a lot of veggies every day, 6/12
• Do each recipe (except one, no food processor) I learned once (green bean salad, veggies burgers, frittata), 0/3
• Walk for ca 1 hour every day with the hiking backpack, 4/12
• On alternating days do a bodyweight workout and yoga/stretching, 0/12 (0/6 workouts, 0/6 stretching/yoga)

Doing some changes to my daily report because it was very obvious my previous plan doesn't fit how I'm actually doing, or not doing as is mostly the case.

 

I have a plan for the writing, but I won't say anything until I hope the July novel is done, because I need to keep my cards close to my chest.

 

The last couple of days I've been doing a lot of thinking. Not only yesterday in fact but for a few days. As is normal during a planing phase. I found some new nuggets today that I want to think about more, but suffice to say it'll mean some changes in plans for the future.

 

Today was another Fireheart Society New Moon party/call. I think I might have kinda fallen asleep during a meditation during it... oops... not too surprising considering I stayed up until 3 am (I'll talk about that later). Kate (Marolt) did an oracle three card draw for the next 29 days (until next new moon) and it talked about taking action, doing it with small steps and something about the third card but I was kinda drifting. (I drifted a lot during the call because tired.) I then pulled a card for myself to see how Kate's drawing for us all fit with me specifically. I draw a card about love and healing, and I definitely got a very clear sense for what I will focus on for the next while. Kinda excepting Norway since Norway will be its own little beast.

 

So I will focus on three main pillars: food, writing and movement. With that priority order I think.

 

I've read Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic. Today I decided to start Eat Pray Love, which I haven't read, so I'm going back to it now after a slightly late dinner. (Also the reason there is a report for today on time, even if yesterday's didn't happen until now.)

[Severine]

Looking forward to hearing about the new plan!