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Well, today was a good success.

 

Plus I went to my first show. Matilda the Musical. So much fun. And even more fun? I did it alone. I've not done that before, I liked it. :)

 

On 1/1/2017 at 2:31 PM, Dagger said:

6 7/12 new-to-me movies or performances of some kind (gymnastics, music concerts, circus, ice skating, dance, play, etc.)

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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19 minutes ago, Dagger said:

Plus I went to my first show. Matilda the Musical. So much fun. And even more fun? I did it alone. I've not done that before, I liked it. :)

 

Nice :) I've always wondered why people don't do this more often... I mean it's usually nicer to go with friends to musicals, theatre, concerts etc., but if no-one I know is interested (often happens if I want to go to a symphonic metal concert) it's still fun to go alone. Whereas for other things I wouldn't go without company as I'd get bored.

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11 hours ago, SymphonicDan said:

Nice :) I've always wondered why people don't do this more often... I mean it's usually nicer to go with friends to musicals, theatre, concerts etc., but if no-one I know is interested (often happens if I want to go to a symphonic metal concert) it's still fun to go alone. Whereas for other things I wouldn't go without company as I'd get bored.

I didn't actually check if anyone wanted to go with me. I wanted to see what it was like to go alone.

 

I loved it! While I'll ask for company at times for things, now I want feel like I need to. I can just go by myself and enjoy the experience. :)

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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I've been watching videos about astronomy today and suddenly felt gut punched when I once again got a sense of how big the universe is and how small and insignificant us humans are. And how much of a fluke and accident we are. This makes me hope there are other sentient beings out there somewhere.

 

This also makes me wonder if this feeling is a driver for one or more science fiction writers. Maybe if we go to space, whether to conquer it ourselves or to meet other life forms, this feeling doesn't leave you so empty and worthless.

 

Or maybe for them, it makes them feel wonder about what is out there. Instead of dread.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Today I met @Vibrantella in the flesh and had a great time wandering around Covent Garden. Had cold chocolate (as opposed to hot chocolate). Checked out an Astrology shop and GUESS WHAT I FOUND THERE? Remember that lenormand deck that never showed up at the start of the year that I got a refund from since there were no more of them (apparently a new version is out not)? It was sitting in that shop, so I bought it.

 

Also she took me to a cool nerd shop but the name escapes me right now. There I found computer/tablet/mobile decals of SUPER MARIO! I am so happy!

 

Thanks, Ella. I had a great time. :D

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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11 hours ago, Dagger said:

Thanks, Ella. I had a great time. :D

I'm so glad, because I did too - thanks Dagger! :D

 

The nerd shop we went to is called Forbidden Planet, just in case... ;) 

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9 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

I'm so glad, because I did too - thanks Dagger! :D

 

The nerd shop we went to is called Forbidden Planet, just in case... ;) 

The only disappointing thing about our visit is that you didn't look exactly like Xena. This makes me think that @NeverThatBored isn't a beer drinking cat, @Rebel Pilot Gar isn't a red symbol and and and... Although I suppose @Severine have already proved to not look like a tardigrade in real life. But now I have TWO disapproved avatars. T_T

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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1 hour ago, Vibrantella said:

OK, I may not have blue eyes and a fringe/bangs, but you haven't seen me in leather! ;):D 

Alright! Maybe next time? ;):P 

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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19 hours ago, Dagger said:

I've been watching videos about astronomy today and suddenly felt gut punched when I once again got a sense of how big the universe is and how small and insignificant us humans are. And how much of a fluke and accident we are

I get this feeling often, as a science fiction/astronomy buff. When people around me start getting petty and losing perspective, I’ll say something like: “It’s time for your scheduled reminder that you are a speck of dust on a twirling rock in the outer reaches of a common galaxy among an infinite number of galactic superclusters.” Or “It’s time for your scheduled reminder that in 1000 years, everything familiar and recognizable about your world will have disappeared.”

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5 hours ago, Plazmotic said:

I get this feeling often, as a science fiction/astronomy buff. When people around me start getting petty and losing perspective, I’ll say something like: “It’s time for your scheduled reminder that you are a speck of dust on a twirling rock in the outer reaches of a common galaxy among an infinite number of galactic superclusters.” Or “It’s time for your scheduled reminder that in 1000 years, everything familiar and recognizable about your world will have disappeared.”

Ouch, hehe. Considering that I feel very disturbed when that feeling hits, I hope it works. lol

 

So that feeling, does it disturb you a lot? Or does it mostly make you think? Or does it do something else for you? *curious*

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Friday was interesting. Still no writing.

 

I did Zumba on Wednesday. I have a few Zumba programs on DVD that I copied (I think I might have mentioned this?) to my computer recently. So I did their easiest 20 mins express video and wasn't terribly surprised to find it easy. I'd find it kinda easy in the past.

 

Then yesterday (Friday) I did their cardio party which is about 45 mins and in the past it has absolutely murdered me. I haven't been able to keep up because I didn't have the cardio. Yesterday? I kept up easily. So easily in fact that it wasn't much of a cardio workout. I love the progress, but now I'm thinking I might not be able to use Zumba for cardio in that way.

 

Although... I didn't do most of the bouncing or jumping because I wanted to save my knees. And then I started wondering, when can I start doing those things? How will I know?

 

I guess I can try now, and also see if cardio party actually because a cardio session if I add in the bouncing/jumping. I can also try the other programs I have and see if any of them are hard for me or at least more difficult than pretty easy.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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On 1/1/2017 at 2:31 PM, Dagger said:

10 11/12 new-to-me fiction books

Another new fiction to me book finished. I can't currently decide if I want to mention the name of it here or not. I was 100% I wouldn't read more of the series until the last few pages of the book (this is the first book). I found the main character's voice, attitude and general personality very much a mismatch with my own. It is hard to sink into a character's head when I partly don't want to and partly have almost nothing in common with him. But the end was intriguing and if he starts having an interesting relationship with his new partner (detective partner, not romantic) then this series could be fun. So I'll report back when I've read book two which I plan to start tonight and that I'm only reading because I could get it for free. If I had to pay for it, I would definitely not have continued reading because right now it is more likely I don't want to read more rather than the other way around.

 

And btw, I might not finish the second book, I was so close not to finishing the first but then didn't dislike it so I just finished it. @Bookish Badger had an interesting prompt about this very thing on her challenge this time around and I said I drop books if I want to. I guess I found the crime that the book was about interesting enough to see how it would go. Plus this is secondary world fantasy detective fiction, something I'm very much interested in writing myself.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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On 8/18/2017 at 5:47 AM, Dagger said:

The only disappointing thing about our visit is that you didn't look exactly like Xena. This makes me think that @NeverThatBored isn't a beer drinking cat, @Rebel Pilot Gar isn't a red symbol and and and... Although I suppose @Severine have already proved to not look like a tardigrade in real life. But now I have TWO disapproved avatars. T_T

 

Blast, you've figured out my disguise. Guess I should go work on a better one :P

 

Hope you're having fun in London!

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5 hours ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

 

Blast, you've figured out my disguise. Guess I should go work on a better one :P

 

Hope you're having fun in London!

I am indeed having fun. Sometimes a little too much fun and not so much writing. Oops... actually that isn't sometimes, right now it is kind of all the time. :( I'm working on it! :)

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Sunday was nice. I figured out some more stuff, but also managed to talk myself out of writing. So I asked myself: Why am I disappointing myself?

 

I don't really have an answer. I've kinda started a new routine of taking a little time right when I wake up and right before putting my head on the pillow to sleep, to connect with myself. Aka at the end of day, I'll think about the day and/or the next day, make some plans, think about what I'd like and such and Sunday night (so yesterday), I asked the question above. Why am I disappointing myself by not writing?

 

I've been kind of picking at that question for a week or so. Not the specific question, but why I'm not writing, and I'm pretty sure I found a new thread to the answer. (I don't think there is one answer.)

 

When I finished the June novel, I was ecstatic. I had written almost every day for a month/four weeks and finish a project in time. I've finished my first novel in a couple of years. But mostly I'd worked every day for a few weeks to create something.

 

That was something I hadn't done before. That accomplishment and the joy of finishing made me so very happy. I was vibrating with happiness for about a day before I managed to pick up and cling to negativity so hard I lost that happiness.

 

I think that happened because I left the comfort zone of how happy I believe I have a right to be. We all have those lines, things we've learned in childhood. For example, when we've been too happy at an inappropriate moment (according to society), our parents might have said to us to look less happy or be less happy or be sad or something. Those things stays with us.

 

So being happier than I'd ever been, I quickly pulled myself back down. We'd had somewhat negative people before than, but those people managed to get to me. I'm not saying that was all subconscious need to put my happy feet back on earth, but some of it was.

 

So in July I had to pull out my usual strategy, aka write 90% of the project the day before deadline. Or in this case it was "only" 50% in the last three days and I did probably 90% of that 50% in the last day. While I'm intellectually happy I pulled through and did the July novel and finished it. There was no other kind of joy. There was no soul deep joy. It was just: so right, we did what we've always done and it supposedly worked like normal, but this isn't the way we find joy in doing these things, this is not the fun way to do it.

 

I think you guys were happier about me finishing the July novel than I was, because all it proved was that I could still pull something out of my ass the last day before a deadline. A skill I already knew I had, and that I'd prefer to never have to use for the rest of my life.

 

But by proving I could do the last minute skill on a writing project, even one as big as a novel (I've done it on short stories before). I'm now in the same boat I was all through school. Or rather, I feel like I'm letting myself fall back into the mold. If I can do it in three days, why work a little every day for weeks?

 

This is what I mean when I say I have no work ethic. If someone is explicitly paying me money, I will always do the work I'm supposed to do. If I have a deadline, I will most of the time (there are specific exceptions) move heaven and earth to hit the deadline, but only 1-2 days before the deadline. The rest of the time? You know the weeks I have to before a deadline, or when there isn't a direct hours lead to money equation? I'll slack. I'll laze. I'll barely think about it. In fact, I'll intentionally bury any thoughts about it.

 

This made me think of you, @fleaball, when you say that you'll do all those tasks like calling insurance, going to the doctor and dealing with admin shit. You'll get it done, but that isn't your idea of what you want your minimum to be. (Loads of love to you, Flea. <3)

 

I guess in the same way, I will hit a firm deadline (if my teacher can give me an extension... I'm in trouble) by doing 90% of the work in the last two days. I will go to work and do my job if you will pay me for those hours. But that isn't what I want my minimum work ethic to look like. (EDIT: Basically I know how to sprint, but I want to learn how to do a marathon and the training for a marathon (metaphor, running is currently not my thing).)

 

I'm trying to build passive income. That means that a few hours of writing, could still pay me money years from now, but it won't pay me money right when I finish it. Although I'll get a second payment on my first pro published story in the next few months, because it'll be a reprint. (Which reminds me, I need to contact someone about payment for stories that aren't getting through, something isn't working. We need to figure out what...)

 

There is serious joy in working on a project almost every day until it is finished. It doesn't mean a novel project needs to take a long time to write, it entirely depends on how much time I spend each day and while it would be cool to eventually get to the stage where I'd find it fun to write for 6-8 hours a day for a few days in a row. I'm not there yet.

 

So, am I avoiding the daily writing fun to stop myself from feeling that joy? The joy of knowing I worked on something every day (more or less) and eventually I had the fruit of my labors? That sounds so fantastic to me. Because that is something I've never done. In some ways, I've never needed to. Except I kinda have done it. I did it to get fluent in English, except I didn't really do it until I had enough English that it wasn't so grindy by the time I started. (Basically, when I decided to learning English was years after school had already forced a bunch of it into my head. I could start my learning by choosing to read my next book in English and it happened to be Harry Potter and the Order of Phoenix. I've decided multiple times to learn Japanese, I could not read that book right now as my starting point. :P)

 

So what are the components I've figured out so far as to why I am daily disappointing myself by not writing:

  • Normal project fears. This book will suck. What will it be about? How could I ever think that would be interesting? Aka normal resistance to anything that you love doing but you're afraid someone else will hate and it means a lot to you to have people like it.
  • Avoiding the joy that is outside my current idea of how happy I am allowed to be. I'm trying to expand this, but it is still there. Especially since I managed to kill it so fast the last time (within 48 hours).
  • I need to get back into the habit of writing every day, and the hardest part of writing is starting. Both a new project, but also the first session every day and each session after that (at least those are usually a little easier).
  • Now I've had a lot of time to mull on my story idea and now I'm convinced it sucks. (I just need to ignore this and start writing again because it'll go away then, but it does make it a lot harder. I also know this is similar to the first one, but still different.)
  • I can't decide where I will work. In Italy, I always worked in my hotel room because that was the only place I had. Here in London, I seem unwilling to do that, at the same time I'm not sure I'm comfortable writing around other people. There are meeting rooms I could use but I haven't. So I'm waffling on this and letting a part of my mind use this as an excuse not to write.
  • It is far too easy to just go out and have some fun or take a long walk. Or you know, just bury myself in internet things, or in Japanese like I am doing right now. There is no accountability. Sure I'm sometimes asked how the writing is going, but not with a consistency that it makes a difference. And of course, right now I only feel guilt if someone asks...
  • Guilt. Guilt is not a productive emotion to get me to the keyboard. I haven't been writing, so there is guilt any time someone asks or if I really think about it. So I try to avoid thinking about writing. Avoid talking about writing. Avoid writing at all, because if I don't think about it then I won't feel the guilt. Except it is impossible to not think about...

I'll just stop the list here. I could maybe figure out a couple of more things, but the list is plenty long enough and illustrates what I'm struggling with.

 

The answer to stop 90% of it? Just force myself to sit down and write. Except I also need to keep the writing fun, because if it starts to feel like work, what is the point? (There are also a lot more to this, but I'm not gonna write another 2000 words on why I need to keep the writing fun.) So it is like a catch-22. If I force myself to the writing, then I'm setting a bad precedent. So I need to ease myself to the writing, but there are a lot of forces inside me that makes that very hard.

 

*le sigh*

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Okay, even more coming now.

 

I was just thinking that I don't know what I want my week to look like when it comes to writing. Do I want to do the 2-4 hours of writing a day and spend the rest of my day on rest, socializing, daily chores, publishing, etc.? Or do I want to sprint three days a week, write a ton on those days and spend the other four days chilling, socializing, resting, daily chores, etc.? Or do I want to do a combo or work in periods of a lot of writing and then periods of a lot of other things?

 

I don't actually know.

 

I'm reading a blog post about writing. And the next point in it that I haven't read anything but the heading for says "Whoever works the hardest will get ahead" and I suddenly realized something.

 

I've known for quite some time now, that I am not willing to grind right now for a more relaxing time in the future. Mainly because I don't know if I'll be alive or healthy for that future. I don't want to work hard today, so I can have a nice day tomorrow.

 

I want all my days to be nice, happy, fulfilling, exciting, ecstatic, joyful, fun, thrilling, comforting, convenient, spontaneous, and more. I don't want to work hard today, to live tomorrow.

 

At the same time, I've been trying to get myself to embrace and go with that heading about: whoever works the hardest will get ahead.

 

A part of me have said: I should be that person. I should work hard and be admired (yes, a very nice and unnarcissistic part of me... lol not). I'll be able to go: hah! I wrote 12 novels a year for two years and now I am earning my living. Woop woop!!!

 

But... can I? Can I be fun loving, relaxed, happy and fulfilled, and also be hard working, gung ho and striving? I'm not saying that is impossible, but is it me?

 

I... I don't think so.

 

I know that I feel fulfilled. I feel like I did something meaningful and fun if I write. I know that a part of my soul loves when I write. I feel joy when I write regularly and it seems to only grow when I do (which might answer the question of whether my week will be periods of sprint and rest or just a long marathon with occasional rest days). Writing is fun, writing fulfills me, writing can be exciting, ecstatic, joyful, thrilling, comforting, and more. It can bring sadness, catharsis, anger, rage, and more (and I'm meaning from the writing not towards other people or from other people).

 

Writing is currently an integral part of creating a joyful day. (I almost said a perfect day... not the best term to use.) I don't need it to have a joyful day, but it has always made a day more joyful so far.

 

I'm also trying to embrace all the other bits that go with making writing an income so I can maybe live on it in the future: publishing, submitting, admin, finding cover art, studying craft, networking, marketing, running a small business, bookkeeping, newsletters, etc.

 

I don't care about being the hardest working one. I care about being the one who is the most fulfilled. Some days that means writing and publishing and working on my finances so I can feel ease and happiness in those areas. Other days it means letting go of those things and being in the moment and figuring out what I can experience that day that will enhance me, even if it is walking the knife edge of almost too much fear to bear.

 

Fulfilled. Yes. I wanted to say the one who has the most fun, but realized that that word doesn't quite work for me. There is still a part of me who thinks that playing in the dark playground of procrastination (wait but why's procrastination posts gave me that term) is fun, while all it does is induce guilt, shame, sadness, etc. As long as the word fun means shirking responsibilities that I'd rather deal with. As long as the word fun means being carefree in the worst possible sense of the word (there are certainly good versions of not holding on to worry, of dealing with things when they happen so that they don't continue to be something to care for (although I feel like I am making up my own definition... anyway), etc.). Until I've eased my definition of fun away from things that aren't actually fun but that I've convinced myself for years are fun, I can't use that word and say I want to be the person who has the most fun.

 

Being fulfilled is fun. It is excitement, joy, happiness, thrilling, comforting, etc. Being fulfilled means doing the fun things I love, but only when I'm not spending time in the dark playground. It means sitting down with the work of my soul: writing. It means learning new things even when it is hard. It means spending time with people I love and getting to know more people I want to bring into my circle. It means dealing with hard conversations, finishing off admin to-dos that just need to happen. It means taking care of my body, my mind, my soul, my energy, etc. Being fulfilled means being wholly me, and some of that takes effort. It takes stepping out of my current comfort zone and declaring new ones. It means letting go of old beliefs and labels and embracing gentleness, ease, and loving exactly who I am at every moment, while still being okay with wanting more.

 

One big part of finding fulfillment is doing it with ease. Forcing stuff, pushing myself beyond what the line beyond the comfort zone because there is another line outside the comfort zone which is the line which beyond being pushed never results in growth, I don't want to do those things to myself. Sometimes I need to be fierce with myself. Sometimes I need to break a few eggs to make an omelet. But there is a huge different between breaking the thin shell of an egg and trying to break bones to get what I want.

 

A few days ago, perhaps even a week, I pulled a card from my oracle deck and I realized it represented exactly what I am trying to do right now (and I've been trying to carry it with me everywhere I go since then). Exactly the transformation I am going through in certain areas (food and fitness) and which I'm trying to reach in others (writing). This is the card that has made me use the words breaking out of a mold. A mold I've created myself or that I believe/believed myself to be in. It is why I know I have to break some eggs, because here is the card:

ov1a-205x300.jpg

It is called breaking free. And mentions big dreams and such. A carnival horse breaks out of its mold and glass bubble to be its true self, a real living breathing horse who can run the steppes free.

 

Labels are a mold I'm breaking out of. Since a few months back I no longer call myself an introvert because I noticed I used is as an excuse to be less social and to be short with people when I was low on energy. I didn't use it as a light to make people understand me more, like I first did. So the label went from a light to shine understanding to a mold that made me act in a way I didn't like. I asked myself: what if I'm not an introvert, what can I be then? How much more of who I am am I if I don't force myself into this label I gave myself? I'm not saying I'm suddenly an extrovert, thriving in social gatherings and always seeking them, but I feel more at ease with them. I am more willing to listen to myself when I say I've had enough and it is time to retreat to my cave, I don't need to prove how long I can stand them any more.

 

That is just one example.

 

I know what is in many ways very important to me nowadays, and that is to ease into change. Being gentle, accepting, and fierce without force. Of focusing on my wins and celebrations, instead of any one moment where I choose otherwise.

 

I'm also trying to remember that while the changes in my food and fitness does take a lot of energy. I have more energy to go around nowadays. Another label or outdated belief or safety mechanism. I have more of me to go around. The more I turn into myself, the more I focus fiercely of being who I am and no one else, the more of me I have to play with. So yes, I am easing into a lot of changes in food and fitness, but they aren't draining my energy. They aren't leaving me exhausted of will power or any such thing.

 

I can ease into more change, into being more me, if I want to. If I'm willing to break a few more non-working safety mechanisms, outdated beliefs, self-created molds and labels.

 

I can be the equivalent of a free running horse on steppes. Whatever that looks like for me.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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On 8/16/2017 at 6:37 PM, Dagger said:

Plus I went to my first show. Matilda the Musical. So much fun. And even more fun? I did it alone. I've not done that before, I liked it. :)

 

I travelled alone (hiked through the Highlands of Scotland) and it meant a lot of eating in restaurants alone and going on castle tours alone and such things. And at first I was nervous and self-conscious about the restaurant thing but eventually I relaxed and realized nobody really cared if I was eating alone, and if they did, screw them. As for when I would be out hiking and see something amazing and beautiful, at first I often felt stymied...like, I'd see something wonderful and my first instinct was to be sad that I didn't have anyone to share it with. But eventually I decided it was really good for me to learn how to enjoy things on my own, too. 

 

On 8/18/2017 at 5:47 AM, Dagger said:

The only disappointing thing about our visit is that you didn't look exactly like Xena. This makes me think that @NeverThatBored isn't a beer drinking cat, @Rebel Pilot Gar isn't a red symbol and and and... Although I suppose @Severine have already proved to not look like a tardigrade in real life. But now I have TWO disapproved avatars. T_T

 

Yay for nerds hanging out together IRL! And believe me, my failure to look like a tardigrade is not from lack of trying :huh:

 

On 8/18/2017 at 11:16 AM, Plazmotic said:

I get this feeling often, as a science fiction/astronomy buff. When people around me start getting petty and losing perspective, I’ll say something like: “It’s time for your scheduled reminder that you are a speck of dust on a twirling rock in the outer reaches of a common galaxy among an infinite number of galactic superclusters.” Or “It’s time for your scheduled reminder that in 1000 years, everything familiar and recognizable about your world will have disappeared.”

On 8/18/2017 at 4:29 PM, Dagger said:

Ouch, hehe. Considering that I feel very disturbed when that feeling hits, I hope it works. lol

 

So that feeling, does it disturb you a lot? Or does it mostly make you think? Or does it do something else for you? *curious*

 

I actually find this feeling deeply comforting and it is something I call to mind when I am feeling unsettled or worried about things in my own life. It's a very calming perspective for me.

 

I have thoughts about the other, longer posts. More later!

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12 hours ago, Severine said:

I actually find this feeling deeply comforting and it is something I call to mind when I am feeling unsettled or worried about things in my own life. It's a very calming perspective for me.

I thought there had to be people that felt like this. And I can see how it sometimes might be comforting to know that whatever I do, I can't destroy the universe and everything out there. And that beauty will always be there even if we fuck up Earth.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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The last piece of the puzzle (for now) fell into place yesterday when my writing mentor said that he thought I had completed the challenge considering all my travels and my work so far. He's offered to give me credit for it. He realized what I hadn't yet.

 

While I'd kept the challenge fairly light in June, it had grown to a heavy weight that I wasn't seeing. Ever since I completed one novel, and then a second, the pressure to actually finish the challenge 100% suddenly landed on my shoulders. Suddenly I had to finish the third novel or I'd have failed.

 

Of course, that isn't what I signed up for for myself. The challenge was to get me writing, to have fun with the writing, and to finish some projects. Good or bad didn't matter.

 

It is 11 pm, but when I finish this post I plan to do a little bit of writing today. The day fell out in a way that I didn't get to it earlier. I didn't make the space for it, but it hasn't been in the same way it has been the days before.

 

Yesterday when I read my mentor's email that basically said "you've done a good job, your challenge is a success already and I'll give you credit for it", this joy bubbled up inside me as the weight of the challenge fell of my shoulders. Less than 10 minutes later I had a quick writing session for fun.

 

Today, my day have looked a lot like they did all last week, but it hasn't felt the same. There's been a weightless joy that I haven't felt in a while.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Today, about one month and 10 days later I got the feed back from the June novel. My mentor, Dean, suggests not reading it until finishing the August novel, or I guess until August ends, whichever comes first. I saw the email early morning and gosh, I was just now soooo close to opening and reading his comments. But I resisted.

 

Maybe I should finish this novel quick so I can read the feedback. Number of words I have on the novel so far: ca 1500... ouch... so much left. At least 28500 words.

 

How will I resist? Although considering there is no chance of only positive feedback, I guess that'll help keep me from setting myself on fire early. (No, I'm not saying I'm a bad writer, but I do not have a lot of experience with novels (or short stories really depending on how you look at it). However, there is always something to improve in the next novel. And I hope it'll be advice that helps me with that.)

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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On 8/18/2017 at 10:47 AM, Dagger said:

The only disappointing thing about our visit is that you didn't look exactly like Xena. This makes me think that @NeverThatBored isn't a beer drinking cat, @Rebel Pilot Gar isn't a red symbol and and and... Although I suppose @Severine have already proved to not look like a tardigrade in real life. But now I have TWO disapproved avatars. T_T

 

Haha, do I need to wear my blue/white checkered shirt when I see you?

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Level 25 Cyborg Assassin

[ STR 36.75 | DEX 26.00 | STA 28.00 | CON 31.25 | WIS 29.25 | CHA 24.50 ]

current 5-week challenge: March 2020

external websites with my resources for...

fitness & breathwork | mental math & mind sports | motivation & productivity

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On 8/18/2017 at 5:47 AM, Dagger said:

This makes me think that @NeverThatBored isn't a beer drinking cat,

This was like, the biggest mindfuck when we did the Spartan. I had to use her real name AND she was human? It was too much.

 

You seem to have sorted out the writing thing for now, but reading through the longer post I was thinking maybe you're having trouble because you don't have a routine? Like you don't have those cues that most people who work from home do (according to the blogs I've read, that is) - go to a specific place at a specific time and suddenly it's writing time and your brain recognizes that. Like, there's no "wake up, read your email, make some coffee, sit at your desk and do the thing." Idk if this would help you at this point or if you've recommitted already based on the realizations you had, but can you try to set a thing for yourself that would carry over no matter where you are in the world? Wake up, explore a little, write for x amount of time wherever you happen to be, etc?

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On 8/22/2017 at 6:34 PM, Dagger said:

Did write. Yay!

 

Awesome! So proud of you. I've got to get to work on my freaking book.

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Who am I? -- My NF Character

Current Challenge: WolfDreamer Reads Harder, Breathes Harder, and Journals More

Past Challenges: 

Spoiler

Winter is ComingWolfen Strengthens His Heart, Body, Mind, and Spirit, Wolfen Becomes One of the PeopleWolfen Strengthens His ChakrasWolfen Welcomes Summer and Gets Primal, Soulcon and Spartan, Wolfen Develops Mental ToughnessWolfen Joins the Wander SocietySoulcon, Spartan, School, and Stranger ThingsWolfen Becomes a Warrior EliteWolfen Goes Here and There and Back AgainWolfen Becomes a Soulcon Warrior EliteWolfen Returns to His RootsWolfen Wanders in Soul, Spirit, and BodyWolfen Owns the DayWolfen Searches for His Wild Heart, Wolfen Runs for His LifeWolfen Hits the TrailsWolfen Becomes an Explorer and Joins the ResistanceWolfen Goes Back to the SourceWolfen Begins the Hero's JourneyWolfDreamer Returns to the People,  WolfDreamer Pushes BackWolfDreamer PrioritizesBurpees, Books, and BrainworkBurpees, Books, Brainwork, and BodyworkWolfDreamer Masters the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Continues to Master the Four ElementsWolfDreamer Returns to SpartaWolfDreamer Returns to Middle EarthWolfDreamer Continues His Middle Earth AdventureWolfDreamer and the FallWolfDreamer Forges His Own PathWolfDreamer Has HopeWolfDreamer Returns to Middle Earth

I'd rather sing one wild song and burst my heart with it, than live a thousand years watching my digestion and being afraid of the wet.” -- Jack London

“I wanted movement and not a calm course of existence. I wanted excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love.” -- Leo Tolstoy

"I feel love rising in my chest again
Rising like a burning sun into the day..." -- Gungor, "Hurricane"

"...wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." 2 Corinthians 3:17b

 

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