Dagger's Progress as a Nomad

[Vibrantella]

14 hours ago, Dagger said:

walking to and from the tube really doesn't count most days lol

Well, mine is 800m away, so there and back again is a mile!   If your tube station is too close, how about walking to the next one (or further)?

[Dagger]

1 hour ago, Vibrantella said:

Well, mine is 800m away, so there and back again is a mile!   If your tube station is too close, how about walking to the next one (or further)?

I would have counted it if I walked just a little more so I actually added something to the walk. But last night when I meant to it was rainy and windy and I realized it would be so annoying it would just get me in a bad mood. Yesterday was hopefully mostly a blimp, I've just started to feel like I've been too generous with what I call movement. I can do better without effort.

[Severine]

I keep reading NY in your posts as "New York" and it takes a minute for my brain to adjust

 

Sounds like you've made some progress on publishing stuff! Seeing shows is also fun, and having time to read and a fun new city to explore. And I'm glad you made peace with your thoughts/feelings about the mortality questions. 

 

Do you feel like you've connected with London at all? Or perhaps a better question: has London taught you anything? I often find being in new cities helps me understand new things about what I like and don't like in a place. On my most recent international vacation, for example, we went to Reykjavik, Brussels, Antwerp, Ghent, Amsterdam, and Rotterdam. And my opinions about each city were obvious to me, but the really interesting thing was digging down to understand the reasons.

 

I adored Brussels and Reykjavik, I liked Ghent, I thought Antwerp was neutral-good, and I didn't care much for either Rotterdam or Amsterdam. And the process of understanding why I had those reactions was definitely helpful in understanding myself. It's one of the reasons I love travel: you explore the world but you explore yourself at the same time.

[Dagger]

5 hours ago, Severine said:

I keep reading NY in your posts as "New York" and it takes a minute for my brain to adjust

I kinda knew that would happen, but writing out Nourish Yourself every time is too long.

 

5 hours ago, Severine said:

Do you feel like you've connected with London at all? Or perhaps a better question: has London taught you anything? I often find being in new cities helps me understand new things about what I like and don't like in a place. On my most recent international vacation, for example, we went to Reykjavik, Brussels, Antwerp, Ghent, Amsterdam, and Rotterdam. And my opinions of each cities were obvious to me, but the real interesting thing was digging down to understand the reasons.

 

I adored Brussels and Reykjavik, I liked Ghent, I thought Antwerp was neutral-good, and I didn't care much for either Rotterdam or Amsterdam. And the process of understanding why I had those reactions was definitely helpful in understanding myself. It's one of the reasons I love travel: you explore the world but you explore yourself at the same time.

London is probably my favorite big city so far. At least for living in. If I had to choose between London and Stockholm, I'd choose London most likely.

 

But beyond that? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I've had connections to places; Avignon comes to mind first. If I had to live in a big city, the thing that makes London different from Stockholm is that I don't have to wait an extra 5-10 years to get stuff that the big metropolises already have. So London have a healthy and nice food delivery. They have Amazon and therefore free two day shipping through prime. It is big enough to have such things as a trapeze school in a park. I don't know, everything feels so convenient and easy to get, something Stockholm tries to be but really fails at.

 

But I don't know... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Dagger]

2017-09-13

• Overall: Writing, 0/18
• Body: Movement, 7/20 — Extra long walk to the grocery store
• Body: Fasting, 0/3
• Mind: Transcribing, 7/15
• Mind: Japanese, 0/18
• Spirit: NY 2.0/self care, 8/21 — My walk counts here too
• Spirit: Exploration, 3/6 

I really needed that walk today. In fact I need a longer walk and will have to think about trying to fit it in tomorrow.

 

Amazon ballet flats arrived and they fit and turned out to be foldable: score!

Transcribing happened although I need to check the amount of pages, I want to try and finish a second notebook this week (I finished one last week).

I sent email to copyeditor and prepared short story file. Tomorrow I'll send the file and send payment. With that I also sent an email about the three paypal payments I'm waiting on for my three published stories this year (one a reprint so not that much money).

No writing, no NY or other self care (beyond a walk so that could kinda count... ah well, actually it does count).

 

Did I mention I got feedback on the July novel? You know the one I wrote half of in three days? Well, I think he liked that one even better because he threw around the word great instead of good.  I haz two novels to publish this fall/winter.

 

I also fiddled with a couple of other publishing tasks: checking my publishing email, and poking at ebook formatting (I'm using a new program).

 

Pretty happy with my day. Although I did go to bed before midnight but still didn't get up until 9:30. My body needed sleep? My body was confused by the early bed time? My body was disturbed by the very vivid dream I had where I had to argue with someone so I got so worked up I woke up from it?

[Dagger]

PSA: This is my 3001st post. Woot!

[Vibrantella]

12 hours ago, Dagger said:

PSA: This is my 3001st post. Woot!

Not for long, you're at 3005 currently!  

 

Also, congrats on the novel feedback!

[Dagger]

16 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

Not for long, you're at 3005 currently!  

 

Also, congrats on the novel feedback!

Haha, I know!

 

And thanks! I was really happy with it and I'm kinda eager to get them published. My copyeditor will read the short story mon-wed next week, so I should know if I can work with her towards the end of next week. And if I can, then I have a whole novel to send her, and then another right after that. Haha.

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

That is awesome! I have very little knowledge on how the whole editing/publishing system works but I wish you the best for novel awesomeness.

[Dagger]

22 minutes ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

That is awesome! I have very little knowledge on how the whole editing/publishing system works but I wish you the best for novel awesomeness.

Thanks! I could talk about that topic literally for a couple of hours and only cover parts of it. :3

[Dagger]

2017-09-14

• Overall: Writing, 0/18
• Body: Movement, 7/20
• Body: Fasting, 0/3
• Mind: Transcribing, 8/15 — More than usual
• Mind: Japanese, 0/18
• Spirit: NY 2.0/self care, 9/21 — coaching call, NY definition
• Spirit: Exploration, 3/6 

So the most significant event yesterday (writing this on Friday) was the coaching call with Kate, so let me talk about the other things first.

 

I did more transcribing than usual with none of the boredom and such. I think just acknowledging that and then saying why it isn't really boring helps. It also helps that I'm currently excited to get back into the publishing part of writing again because I HAVE TWO NOVELS TO PUBLISHING, WOOOH!

 

Then was the google hangout about Barcelona and it was somewhat underwhelming. Like all the info they gave was mostly what we'd already gotten. I guess there were a few things, but I think it was more to get us hyped and interested in getting to know each other. Ah well, it wasn't a bad way to spend an hour since I had fika at the same time (tea and a rolled merengue with raspberries and cream).

 

I also finished off a couple of other tasks, like a survey for Barcelona, sending money and a story to my copyeditor.

 

So at 7 pm, I had the coaching call with Kate where I read the fuck you letters I wrote last week. I'm trying to remember how much I talked about them then, but I don't so I won't get into it now either. I think I described the exercise though? Right?

 

So I read them aloud to her and we did a little energy clearing after. Then we talked more about what was really bugging me about certain things. Like I learned that I've mostly released the energy around my brother who I wrote a letter to. I can move on with that relationship if I want to and I want to.

 

With my sister we talked a bit and I figured out what bothered me the most. Apparently I haven't sat down and really thought through how I look at family, who is family, how I decide if someone is family. We also got into the difference between love in a kinda passive and neutral since (like how I kinda love humanity as a non-specific entity. When I meet new people I start out loving them, and only their actions and opinions make me go from that neutral love space to other options) and active love, aka when you choose to love someone. There was also some hangups around the fact that I had once actively loved my sister and now I don't. I just don't love her. And I realized I still counted her as family, but those two thigns doesn't work for me. I choose my family and I choose them because I actively love them; but I figured out that I thought of her as family because she was important enough to other people I consider family. So... I'll talk more about this at another time.

 

When we came to my stepmother's letter, that was different. I can't let go there, not yet anyway. I think the biggest thing is that most if not all incidents with her in my teenager years mostly happened because she has a quick temper. I have a hard time forgiving someone who would have had over twenty years to learn how to control her temper. I got hurt so many times, often though I'd done nothing, because her temper made her lash out on the first person she saw. She's also somewhat of a hypocrite since she pushed her politics down my throat because I was born into a family that had enough money to live well if not wealthy and she'd been living on that same money for a few years at that point. Part of that was misunderstandings, she thought I cared more about things than her attention/love, or rather she thought I cared about things while in truth I just wanted more of her attention/love. I think I'm more okay with that, especially since her quick temper made those things happen too, if she didn't get angry so easily, perhaps those encounters would have been different.

 

So, I have some reconciliations I need to there. I need to somehow accept and let go of the fact that I think she failed at being an adult. If she'd been in her twenties, I would have been more forgiving. But she was in her forties and let her short temper spew all over me so many times. She'd had many years as an adult to learn how to handle her temper, but she didn't. I think the only reason she doesn't get angry as often anymore is because it seems mellowing with age might be a thing (okay, I'm just being angry with that comment. I can see several reasons why she wouldn't get angry as often, like not having teenagers living at home, but damn it, she was a fucking adult, I was a fucking kid, even if a teenage kid, and she ranted at me for things I didn't do, for things she thought I meant but didn't, for "hurting" my sister (overprotective AF), and probably a few more kinds of instances that I don't remember at the moment.

 

So yeah, I have to figure out how I can by myself forgive someone who right now looks like a fucking lazy adult. And I clearly don't know how to do that yet. *le sigh*

 

PS. There was a small explosion/fire in a tube this morning. I was not there. I was home safe in my bed still sleeping. So unless more stuff happens during the day, you can assume I am fine.

[Dagger]

2017-09-15

• Overall: Writing, 0/18
• Body: Movement, 8/20 — walking around Holland park with @Vibrantella
• Body: Fasting, 0/3
• Mind: Transcribing, 8/15 — More than usual  Actually I did none on Friday, I just forgot to delete this comment
• Mind: Japanese, 1/18 — Reading/identifying Hiragana, Katakana and a few Kanji on a stone at the Kyoto Garden in Holland park!
• Spirit: NY 2.0/self care, 10/21 — NY coaching call
• Spirit: Exploration, 4/6 — same as movement

Woke up, had breakfast, took a shower, watched the NY coaching call from earlier in the week, and eating some light lunch, then I was off to Holland park. I had a great time with @Vibrantella. We walked around, talked about books and other things. Stumbled on a shop with savory pies, I bought two and ate one for dinner, nom nom nom. If you guys get the chance, go meet with Vibrantella, worth it.

 

Also the Japanese garden was beautiful, plus peacocks! And very friendly squirrels. A good time was had by all, I think.

 

I'm up late. I meant to start reading but fell down a youtube wormhole of medleys with Peter Hollen, if you guys haven't heard some of them, go listen, they're good.

 

And oh, I played some Texas Hold'em while eating dinner since that was happening at the place I am staying (Roam), lost me some £5. Ah well

[Vibrantella]

I would say that you did some Japanese yesterday, reading that plaque in the Kyoto Garden! I was very impressed!

 

I had a great time too, thanks for the fun, and for the support!

 

[Dagger]

40 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

I would say that you did some Japanese yesterday, reading that plaque in the Kyoto Garden! I was very impressed!

 

I had a great time too, thanks for the fun, and for the support!

A very good point! I'll go edit that. <3

[Dagger]

On 9/11/2017 at 0:21 PM, Dagger said:

So planned things for "week 2":

• Monday: 42nd Street musical show
• Tuesday: Dinner with A
• Thursday: Unsettled call about Barcelona and coaching call with Kate
• Friday: Visiting a park with Vibrantella (Confirmed!)

Self care list:

• Coaching call with Kate  
• NY intentions
• NY definition
• NY call plus exercise
• NY week 3 stuff that I haven't gotten email about yet #1 => Create my nourishment mantra
• NY week 3 stuff that I haven't gotten email about yet #2 => Read through creating my 40 day practice

Writing/publishing related:

• One more round of fixing on the cover assignment I did a week ago or so
• Potentially reformat and upload a short story of mine — Not done, but I'll aim to get it done early October
• Finally send a short story to a copyeditor
• Submit a short story
• Get back into writing

So wanted to update this, partly because I wanted to add the NY tasks that I now know what they are, and it is time to dig into those tomorrow. Although I don't have to finish both, because the first part of the course was lengthened with a week, so I'm more than right on target now.

[Dagger]

2017-09-16

• Overall: Writing, 0/18
• Body: Movement, 8/20 — nope... oops! O_O didn't even realize this until now
• Body: Fasting, 0/3
• Mind: Transcribing, 9/15 — More than usual  (true this time)
• Mind: Japanese, 2/18 — I did some flash cards on Katakana and counting markers (counting stuff is complicated in Japanese...)
• Spirit: NY 2.0/self care, 11/21 — I did the NY coaching call exercise and I set up week 3 NY exercises
• Spirit: Exploration, 4/6

First I'm going to say that now I will have even more self care stuff! Remember Amy Clover? She was the co-host with Kate Marolt at Activate Courage, the retreat I did in Costa Rica. Well, she has this program called Intentional Eating, an 8-week course in letting go of judgement around food and learning mindful/intentional eating. So I decided to join that. She says I should set aside 15-30 minutes a day for the exercises and there is a one hour coaching call each week (most likely on Fridays).

 

IE starts on Monday; NY part 2 will start the Monday after since its gotten delayed by one week.

 

Before the first day of IE I have an exercise to do, so I'll do that tomorrow and move NY stuff 'til next week.

 

I got almost 20 pages of transcription done today. I have now finished two notebooks while here and since I have a couple of thin ones I'll finish at least three more in the next couple of sessions. That still leaves me with four notebooks, probably none of them completely full with notes. Hopefully I can finish at least one more of those next week too, so I'll be down to 3 when I leave for Paris.

 

Today was a pretty good day, although I have clearly gotten out of the habit of walking every day. Good thing I plan to walk to "work" every weekday in Barcelona, so that should net me probably about an hour total of walking each day. Plus the co-working space is by the beach, so a perfect 20 minute break would be to wonder to it and spend 10 minutes there.

 

A couple of more things:

1) I really didn't feel like transcribing today. I was having a kinda blah day but by just steadily doing the things I was pretty sure would make me feel better (one of those things actually doing the transcription) made sure I turned it around. By the time I was finishing off the transcription after a break for a late lunch (3-4 pm) and some tea and stuff, I was actually feeling pretty good.

2) I did a lot of dishes while cooking lunch and when taking a break in eating. It felt good to take care of the environment I'm spending time in plus it was mostly turning on a dishwasher (it isn't quite that but whatever; it is a sanitizer and takes 3 minutes) and putting dishes away. It felt good to do something good for the place I'm staying and I liked that I wanted to do it and it felt good. Such improvement. Plus when I get to Barcelona I'll be sharing an apartment with 1-2 people and we are the only ones keeping dishes clean and such, so I need to get in the habit. (We have a cleaning service once a week or every two weeks, but can't have dishes waiting for that  )

3) I finished off a to-do. About a year after NF camp, I finally went through the pictures from the professional photographer that we got access too. There were pictures of me on the high rope course! I had not expected that because it was one person and a lot going on at once, and probably only 2-5 groups of at least double that got pictures taken while doing it. Score! I'll probably share some pictures eventually.

[Dagger]

2017-09-17

• Overall: Writing, 0/18
• Body: Movement, 9/20 — walk
• Body: Fasting, 0/3
• Mind: Transcribing, 10/15 — Not as much as I wanted, but an alright amount
• Mind: Japanese, 2/18
• Spirit: NY 2.0/IE/self care, 12/21 — IE (Intentional Eating, not Internet Explorer or anything else) exercise, plus a meditation
• Spirit: Exploration, 4/6

I had ideas for plans, I didn't do them partly because I slept late because I was up until 3 am reading. Started the day with my usual stuff and then spent two hours finishing the book I decided not to finish the night before so I wouldn't get to bed between 5 and 6 am.

 

Some other stuff happened. IE coaching calls are supposed to be on Fridays but the first two weeks they will be on Saturday due to scheduling things on Amy's side, which means they went from a day that works for me to a super crappy day since those two Saturdays are booked and I can't move them (one is going to Oxford to visit a friend but she'll work around my call, thanks! the second is spending 6.5 hours on a train from Paris to Barcelona and if the train isn't delayed I'll be in Barcelona half an hour before the call starts. So either I use up my data to be on the call or I find a cafe or something with wifi, or I skip that call. I won't be able to have that call in private in any way because I can't get from the train station to my apartment and set up wifi in less than 30 minutes, there is no way.). So that kinda sucks.

 

I also now learned that the possible option I had for staying in Lincoln City, Oregon for three months definitely can't take me for money reasons. She'll get much more for daily rentals than the monthly rate I'd pay, so that sucks. Now I have to go searching again. Perhaps I'll have to modify my plan and not actually stay in Lincoln City, but that would kinda suck.

[Vibrantella]

Sorry things are being moved in unsuitable directions!  Is there a way you can join the coaching call half way through and then listen to the first half after?  Or is it fully interactive from start to finish?

[Dagger]

28 minutes ago, Vibrantella said:

Sorry things are being moved in unsuitable directions!  Is there a way you can join the coaching call half way through and then listen to the first half after?  Or is it fully interactive from start to finish?

I actually asked that question or a similar one of joining only the first half. I think it is possible. It seems that the calls is about sharing our struggles and getting support/advice. So hopefully on either/both calls I can go first and then leave after 15-30 mins, thereby not being away from my friend for long and for the second one not using much data.

 

We'll see how she answers, but an email I got today seems to suggest I can be there for only part of it.

[Dagger]

2017-09-18

• Overall: Writing, 0/18
• Body: Movement, 9/20 — didn't get outside the door (except for getting delivery food)
• Body: Fasting, 0/3
• Mind: Transcribing, 11/15 — Yush, and amount I am more than happy with
• Mind: Japanese, 2/18
• Spirit: NY 2.0/IE/self care, 13/21 — first day of IE sucked...
• Spirit: Exploration, 4/6

Making plans for the weekend. I'll be going to Oxford on Saturday about 9:30ish and arriving around 11:30 and then I'll be back in London ca 17:00. It'll be good. I'll figure out how to do about the coaching call when I get there. We'll do a walking tour around Oxford colleges at 14:00, the call is 17:00 my time. Perhaps we can find a pub/cafe or something with wifi, or I'll just actually skip the first call because it just doesn't fit my schedule, which sucks. Because it feels like 50% of the course or possible more kinda hangs on the coaching calls, but what can I do when her prior commitments moves the calls to bad times for me?

 

17-18 on Friday afternoons will probably prove irritating anyway for actually joining them, but my other actual viable option (to vote for) was Saturday at 16-17 which is worse.

 

I'll figure something out I suppose... or cry a few tears at the wasted resources I can't use.

 

Anyway... IE... Mostly I was blind sided by what I kinda thought the course was about vs how she actually teaches it. Apparently I have to keep a fucking food log for the next eight weeks where I have to write down how I feel/think before and after a meal. And I should write the amounts of the food I eat, without obsessing about the amount (no weighting the food or macros or anything like that. Some vague measurement of handfuls works well (I used it that this morning and then gave that as an example when asking)). Not only that apparently I was supposed to decide how many meals and snacks I plan to eat per day. Freedom through structure or something. All it did was make me ragey and wonder why I should go backwards in my progress to go forward.

 

To give some context: I've been spending the last couple of months trying to let go of the rigid idea that I need to eat lunch and dinner every day (breakfast have always been a comer and goner in my life). Instead of listening to my body, I've been eating dinner late at night despite not being hungry because I'm supposed to eat dinner. So I've been relaxing those definitions. I often eat "lunch" around 3 in the afternoon right now because I eat breakfast at 11. So suddenly having to decide that my body should have X amount of meals per day and X amount of snacks feels... wrong?

 

Like I'm constricting in a different way. Not about what foods I eat, but how often and kinda how much (after all the only difference between a snack and a meal is the amount you yet, more or less, right?). Like I don't get how that is helpful for such a large part of the people who take her course on this that it should be the default exercise. Instead she suggested I say "I will minimum eat 2 meals a day. And I will maximum eat 3 meals and 3 snacks before checking in with my body." Actually, she didn't give the amounts, I decided on those, but really? I should check in with my body if I'm eating MORE rather than with every meal/snack? I'm pretty sure we will get check ins next week before eating, while eating and probably after eating (you know beyond what we should already do with the food log...)

 

I feel like this is not what I signed up for. Like I get the food log. It is too see patterns and such (but apparently I should also keep track of everything I drink in a day so I can see if I don't drink enough water or something...). I get somethings and then in the next breathe she seems to say something different.

 

I think part of it is just me being annoyed and wondering how I can even keep this up. Do you think I'll this weekend whip out my phone before sitting down to dinner with my friend and record my thoughts and feelings before food? And then I'll record all the food after dinner and put in how I feel then? No. Just no. That is awkward as fuck and I don't eat with my phone anywhere near the table when I eat with friends. It is a rule I've made and I'm not going to sabotage my commitment to how I spend my attention when I'm around people so I can fill in a silly log.

 

So how does that work if you're not living alone and eating alone? I'll be in Barcelona and probably sharing minimum a meal a day. That means my log will be very spotty about thoughts and feelings even if I can record food later.

 

It isn't about being perfect, but the log and the work around it is set up in a way that kinda asks for failure unless you want to ask every person you have a meal with to be understanding of you whipping out your phone before and after. I don't want to be a person who whips out my phone before, during or after a meal, or frankly any time I spend with people.

 

So yeah... I'm seeing the possible resources and wins I can get from this dwindle, because the work isn't really shaped to be easily done during the day. I guess I also have more questions to ask about the "feelings/thought" thing and how to handle that while eating with other people...

 

I want to say it makes me sad, but mostly it just makes me irritated. If I was still living in the house I had in Sweden, this would be easy. I ate approx. 100% of my meals by myself in any given week. I perhaps shared a meal with someone once a month. Now I typically share at least one meal a day on average, and could share more, but I choose not to.

 

PS. This is mostly me ranting to get it out of my system, but if you have any answers or reflections on it, feel free to share. <3

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

That sounds tough. It is very frustrating to be blindsided by something not being what was expected after reading the program description. I'm sure it's even more frustrating and stressful with the scheduling challenges you have mentioned.

 

Are you mentally thrown off enough by the prescribed "required activities" for the next 8 weeks to consider cancelling/asking for a refund?

 

I'm asking because it reminds me of something similar I went through ~2 years ago.

 

Pupster was getting into the high swing of bratty toddler/teenager phase and BF and I wanted to see if a few "private trainer" lessons would help us learn to work better with him. 

 

Had a call with the trainer, sounded great. Had the in-person meeting to talk about training methods - consistency, following her methods, etc. She did mention a few training tools, but just as options not as requirements. Fast forward to lesson #1 and her entire training method is to use a prong collar and correct if he doesn't do whatever it was she wanted him to be doing. Not just that it was her preference, it was the only method. I'm not against prong collars, but I also prefer trying to work with my dog (even if it takes longer).

 

I'm not great at confrontation, so I didn't do a great job expressing this during the lesson. About 1 hour after the trainer left I was a crying shaking mess - BF was also unhappy with the method and the trainer not listening to us at all. Ended up calling her up and asking for a refund, explaining that her training methods didn't meet our expectations from the initial meeting and we would not continue. She got a bit emotional (guess I'm the first person to cancel) but eventually gave a refund for all but hours for lesson 1. 

 

We gave it a shot, but in the end the training method wasn't for us. It felt like something that would damage our relationship / trust with the dog (going backwards if you will) and made me stress myself sick. 

 

Could be that I am just putting too much of the above experience into reading your post. But if it's stressful and feels like you are going backward, maybe have that conversation with the course instructor and see whether it really is the right course for you at this moment in time. Will you get the benefit of the course? Or will it just cause unnecessary turmoil?

[Dagger]

7 hours ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

That sounds tough. It is very frustrating to be blindsided by something not being what was expected after reading the program description. I'm sure it's even more frustrating and stressful with the scheduling challenges you have mentioned.

 

Are you mentally thrown off enough by the prescribed "required activities" for the next 8 weeks to consider cancelling/asking for a refund?

You're probably right that those two dovetailed together. Definitely not a nice cocktail and made everything so much bigger and badder than it really was, except for when I had all the feels.

 

I could cancel if I wanted, but since this course is so heavily weighted on coaching there isn't a refund possibility really. And she did write more on the FB group that goes with the course that there will be other exercises and those might work better for me.

 

Like, she did mention that these first two ones are more important if you have a tendency to binge or undereat. Neither of those are a problem for me. I don't think I've ever undereaten, except when I've been depressed (loss of appetite), and I can't remember the last time I binged, although I have done those things in the past. My problem is more on overeating specific meals and probably almost always overeating when it comes to my snacks (basically I'm not eating snacks because I'm hungry 95% of the time, I eat them because of other reasons).

 

I'm pretty sure that the exercise we'll get tomorrow might be the first really useful to me, and the one starting next week will also be. However, I will keep with the exercises for lets say the first week and see if they bother me as much. If not, I'll do them because there might be something I can learn from them.

 

7 hours ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

I'm asking because it reminds me of something similar I went through ~2 years ago.

 

Pupster was getting into the high swing of bratty toddler/teenager phase and BF and I wanted to see if a few "private trainer" lessons would help us learn to work better with him. 

That trainer... Ugh. Sorry you had that experience, that sucks. How is using a prong collar the first option with anyone? I'm not even sure what a prong collar is, but it sounds nasty. *goes to check online*

 

WTF! Why is a torture device even a training tool? Like, a choke collar, the same thing without the prongs, should only be used if nothing else works and even then you should be careful and serious think of other solutions I'm sure. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF.

 

Where are dog rights like human rights? Cheeze!

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

1 hour ago, Dagger said:

You're probably right that those two dovetailed together. Definitely not a nice cocktail and made everything so much bigger and badder than it really was, except for when I had all the feels.

 

I could cancel if I wanted, but since this course is so heavily weighted on coaching there isn't a refund possibility really. And she did write more on the FB group that goes with the course that there will be other exercises and those might work better for me.

 

Like, she did mention that these first two ones are more important if you have a tendency to binge or undereat. Neither of those are a problem for me. I don't think I've ever undereaten, except when I've been depressed (loss of appetite), and I can't remember the last time I binged, although I have done those things in the past. My problem is more on overeating specific meals and probably almost always overeating when it comes to my snacks (basically I'm not eating snacks because I'm hungry 95% of the time, I eat them because of other reasons).

 

I'm pretty sure that the exercise we'll get tomorrow might be the first really useful to me, and the one starting next week will also be. However, I will keep with the exercises for lets say the first week and see if they bother me as much. If not, I'll do them because there might be something I can learn from them.

 

Ok that definitely sounds better if the food logging is a strong recommendation and not a requirement. Hopefully the next excercises you get are helpful

 

1 hour ago, Dagger said:

That trainer... Ugh. Sorry you had that experience, that sucks. How is using a prong collar the first option with anyone? I'm not even sure what a prong collar is, but it sounds nasty. *goes to check online*

 

WTF! Why is a torture device even a training tool? Like, a choke collar, the same thing without the prongs, should only be used if nothing else works and even then you should be careful and serious think of other solutions I'm sure. WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF.

 

Where are dog rights like human rights? Cheeze!

 

Yeah that was our feel about it too... I mean the spiky bits are blunted but still (I pressed it against my arm and didn't like it)

 

In extreme cases and with the right trainer maybe those collars could be useful. Big Maybe - but you'd also need to know how to safely use it otherwise it is cruel.

 

Like shock collars (the ones that have different vibration levels that you can turn on remotely) - they are horrible with the people who "zap" their dog when it barks (instead of training them to quiet on command, or exercising them so they don't bark constantly out of boredom). But on the lowest setting they are used by some trainers for deaf dogs as a reward marker (like good boy but for dogs that can't hear)

 

edit: idk why that is grey. I did something on mobile trying to quote the second part lol

[Dagger]

37 minutes ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

Ok that definitely sounds better if the food logging is a strong recommendation and not a requirement. Hopefully the next excercises you get are helpful

I vaguely know what some of them are, and while they will irritating me, it won't be because they aren't useful to me but that they will force me (in a good way) to be mindful while I eat. I'm sure I'll get annoyed by that at times, but that is a big part I need, I think.

 

38 minutes ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

In extreme cases and with the right trainer maybe those collars could be useful. Big Maybe - but you'd also need to know how to safely use it otherwise it is cruel.

I agree on the big maybe. If a dog needs that much pain to be trained? Then we've done something seriously wrong to them to begin with and maybe it is time for us to stop being cruel to them. 

 

39 minutes ago, Rebel Pilot Gar said:

Like shock collars (the ones that have different vibration levels that you can turn on remotely) - they are horrible with the people who "zap" their dog when it barks (instead of training them to quiet on command, or exercising them so they don't bark constantly out of boredom). But on the lowest setting they are used by some trainers for deaf dogs as a reward marker (like good boy but for dogs that can't hear)

Interesting that a small shock can act as a kinda pleasurable reward. I don't mind those things.

 

Anytime people think pain is the answer to train someone, whether dog or human, they don't really understand how to train, just how to abuse. My opinion and I'm sure there are exceptions, just like with everything.

[Rebel Pilot Gar]

No I 100% agree with you that using pain is bad and should be considered abusive. There are so many other better ways.