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June 13

First day of the challenge!!! Yay. Well, would be if I actually started strong. I kinda started meh.

 

I planned to do Zumba in the afternoon but then I couldn't drag myself from just watching Castle. Then I got up to do dinner early, noticed I had no hot water and remembered I had turned of the heat for a couple of days and forgotten to turn it on, so I had used up all my hot water. At that point, my plan to do Zumba after dinner for the first time ever fell apart, because I would not have a cold shower.

 

I also planned to mow some lawn, but see distraction about and then it rained. So if it is sunny during the day, I should be able to mow tomorrow. But right now I'm falling into my usual pattern. :(

 

Energy/Willpower: Was so tired in the afternoon—couldn't keep my eyes open tired—so I napped, that is what threw me off from doing Zumba. Maybe it was the universe saving me from a cold shower. Ice cream probably played a part, but it wouldn't crash me into can't keep my eyes open. So not sure why I got that tired since I got enough sleep...

 

Exercise

Walked in the morning.

Did 6000 steps by walking the last 1500 steps indoors while listening to a podcast. I didn't feel like going out.

 

Nutrition

No TV dinners. Ate dinner in the time frame.

 

Level Up My Life

Read fiction.

 

Misc

So an alright/meh start where I didn't hit any of the goals that are hard. Would have loved to at least have done one of yoga, Zumba, writing, or studying.

 

Until tomorrow.

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Maybe not the best day but certainly no disaster! Remember this is still more than you were doing a short while ago. If you can improve the quality of your mediocre/blargh days, as well as improving the quality of your best days, you're improving more days overall :D

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11 hours ago, valkyrja said:

23.gif

So cute. :3

 

7 hours ago, Severine said:

Maybe not the best day but certainly no disaster! Remember this is still more than you were doing a short while ago. If you can improve the quality of your mediocre/blargh days, as well as improving the quality of your best days, you're improving more days overall :D

Thanks. I know that. Yesterday it didn't matter towards the end of the day. Then 30 days felt like an eternity so we'd always walked 6000 steps per day, right? >.<

 

My goal has always been to improve the blargh days (I like your word for it) since a couple of years ago I'd have blargh weeks. So I've improved on that front too, less blargh days in a row. But I still always have two.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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33 minutes ago, valkyrja said:

 @Severine is good with words. 

Agreed!

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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June 14 - Day 2, Week 1

A had a great day today. No energy problems at all.

 

I'm gonna try a new format, so see if I can track my stuff better and perhaps more concisely.

 

Exercise

Steps: 2/28

Morning routine: 2/3, week 1

Zumba: 1 of 1-2, week 1

Yoga: 0 of 1-2, week 1

 

Nutrition

No TV-dinners: 2/28

Meal on schedule: 2/4, week 1 (lunch)

 

Level Up My Life

Writing: 0/3, week 1

Studying: 1/5, week 1

Reading: 1/28, I read as the last thing of my day, so this will always be a day behind

Evening routine: 1/28, like reading I do it at the end of the day, so tomorrow you will know if I did it

 

Misc

I did several adulting things today: wash clothes, empty dishwasher, and mow lawn.

 

Yep, you heard me. I mowed some more lawn! Yay, and no anxiety about going out and just doing it. :D

 

Although I realized that maybe I had already moved about 1/5, and now 2/5 are done... >_> Can't win everything, huh? (Don't worry, I don't care; it'll get done and that is the important part. In fact the battery is charging right now, so I can perhaps attack a little more lawn tomorrow.)

 

PS. If you didn't notice, I did Zumba today, yay! And I studied. So very good day in my opinion on top of feeling good.

 

PPS. Fixed the date. This update was for the 14th.

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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I got unfollowed, that bug is too annoying!

 

Great job on your walking and no TV dinners, consistency will build momentum so good to see you following through on your goals :encouragement: 

 

You're improving your foundation every day ;) 

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         Endor, LVL 45 Half-Elf Ranger 

PR and Motivation Log | Current Battle Log 

      

                    Feb-March 2022 Challenge

   

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Awesome day! The anxiety-free nature of the lawn mowing sounds like a particularly good achievement. The remaining grass lives in fear of you!!

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Fitbit  |  Current Challenge  |  Old Challenges:  1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 ~ 20 ~ 21

Forum avatar is custom art by the talented Veronica Guzzardi
 
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9 hours ago, Endor said:

You're improving your foundation every day ;) 

Hehe. Thanks. :)

 

Yeah, momentum is important. I read that NF article you linked about it with Mariokart. I bookmarked it because I wanted to come back to it from time to time. :)

 

7 hours ago, Severine said:

Awesome day! The anxiety-free nature of the lawn mowing sounds like a particularly good achievement. The remaining grass lives in fear of you!!

Yep. I felt good about that too. Plus I literally loled at the last sentence. :D

  • Like 1

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Dagger, I'm thrilled to read how you do in the end of this challenge, because your doing fabulous! Yup I used that word...  

 

I love over how your working on your self talk. It always amazes me how I let my emotions control my thoughts.  

 

More power to ya! I'm officially following your "no TV dinner" adventure!

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"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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11 hours ago, Butternut said:

I love over how your working on your self talk. It always amazes me how I let my emotions control my thoughts.  

Thanks, and yes this is super important. So I'm going to add a little something to today's update.

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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June 15 - Day 3, Week 1

Woke up super tired. I went for a cup of tea before my morning walk and therefore my morning walk was late, but no worries, I have plenty of days to make another morning walk in time.

 

Today became a day of errands. So No progress on the "hard" tasks (writing, study, Zumba, yoga).

 

Exercise

Steps: 3/28

Morning routine: 2/3, week 1

Zumba: 1 of 1-2, week 1

Yoga: 0 of 1-2, week 1

 

Nutrition

No TV-dinners: 3/28

Meal on schedule: 2/4, week 1 (lunch)

 

Level Up My Life

Writing: 0/3, week 1

Studying: 1/5, week 1

Reading: 2/28, I read as the last thing of my day, so this will always be a day behind

Evening routine: 2/28, like reading I do it at the end of the day, so tomorrow you will know if I did it

 

Misc

After taking a late morning walk, I went off to pick up a lot of packages that were waiting in different places. In Sweden the postal service aren't allowed to leave packages outside your door, so if they are too big for the mailing box you have to go get them at the post office. Except... Let me just tell the tale.

 

Post office A (PO A) = is in a nearby town about 10 minutes by car away. Packages that are too big/heavy goes there instead of my normal post office.

Post office B (PO B) = is my normal place about less than 5 minutes away by car, or a 18ish minute walk away.

"Post" office C (PO C) = store about 5 minute walk away that have a deal with DHL to have DHL packages go there instead of the closest post office.

 

I planned to pick up five packages.

1 at PO A, lets call it A1

3 at PO B, lets call them B1, B2 and B3

1 at PO C, lets call it C1

 

So I go to the town "far" away for the first package at PO A. There I learn that they don't have A1 with them, it is in a town 30 minutes away (PO D). But they have this package A2 that is for me so I can pick that up.

 

I get into my car and call the postal service and learn I can schedule a delivery for A2, but not right now because the system is down, can I call back later? Sure...

 

I go to PO B and pick up all packages fine there (B1, B2, B3). The same happens at PO C and I get home with A2, B1, B2, B3, and C1. Not quite what I expected...

 

And in the mail box at home is... three letters (L1, L2, L3) telling about three more packages I need to pick up! GAH!

 

L1 talks about A2 that I can pick up at PO A. Fine. I already got that one. Yay! *rips the letter in two*

L2 and L3 are both for PO B, so I decide to just go there a second time and get those too.

 

I go to PO B. L2's package can't be found, but I'm promised they will continue to look and call me. If I don't hear anything, I should come back in a couple of days. L3 has already been picked up.... What? I checked my package codes for packages I had picked up at PO B already (I've been getting a lot of double letters for packages recently) and I supposedly hadn't picked it up.

 

I go home confused. But I needed to call the postal service again, anyway right? About package A1, and now about L2 and L3.

 

So I call and book a delivery for A1 (the system is working again). L2 apparently arrived at the store in early June and my letter was over a week late so that is probably why they didn't find the package. L3 had been picked up. L3 turned out to be A2. So on the same day I got two different letters for A2, one telling me it was at PO A and another telling me it was at PO B.

 

FAIL!!!!! 

 

Lol, at least I never got frustrated about all this. Instead I just shook my head and laughed.

 

And the addition I meant to add that I mentioned in my reply to @Butternut will happen tomorrow instead, because my post office troubles were too amusing to not tell.

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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7 hours ago, Dagger said:

June 15 - Day 3, Week 1

Woke up super tired. I went for a cup of tea before my morning walk and therefore my morning walk was late, but no worries, I have plenty of days to make another morning walk in time.

 

Today became a day of errands. So No progress on the "hard" tasks (writing, study, Zumba, yoga).

 

Exercise

Steps: 3/28

Morning routine: 2/3, week 1

Zumba: 1 of 1-2, week 1

Yoga: 0 of 1-2, week 1

 

Nutrition

No TV-dinners: 3/28

Meal on schedule: 2/4, week 1 (lunch)

 

Level Up My Life

Writing: 0/3, week 1

Studying: 1/5, week 1

Reading: 2/28, I read as the last thing of my day, so this will always be a day behind

Evening routine: 2/28, like reading I do it at the end of the day, so tomorrow you will know if I did it

 

Misc

After taking a late morning walk, I went off to pick up a lot of packages that were waiting in different places. In Sweden the postal service aren't allowed to leave packages outside your door, so if they are too big for the mailing box you have to go get them at the post office. Except... Let me just tell the tale.

 

Post office A (PO A) = is in a nearby town about 10 minutes by car away. Packages that are too big/heavy goes there instead of my normal post office.

Post office B (PO B) = is my normal place about less than 5 minutes away by car, or a 18ish minute walk away.

"Post" office C (PO C) = store about 5 minute walk away that have a deal with DHL to have DHL packages go there instead of the closest post office.

 

I planned to pick up five packages.

1 at PO A, lets call it A1

3 at PO B, lets call them B1, B2 and B3

1 at PO C, lets call it C1

 

So I go to the town "far" away for the first package at PO A. There I learn that they don't have A1 with them, it is in a town 30 minutes away (PO D). But they have this package A2 that is for me so I can pick that up.

 

I get into my car and call the postal service and learn I can schedule a delivery for A2, but not right now because the system is down, can I call back later? Sure...

 

I go to PO B and pick up all packages fine there (B1, B2, B3). The same happens at PO C and I get home with A2, B1, B2, B3, and C1. Not quite what I expected...

 

And in the mail box at home is... three letters (L1, L2, L3) telling about three more packages I need to pick up! GAH!

 

L1 talks about A2 that I can pick up at PO A. Fine. I already got that one. Yay! *rips the letter in two*

L2 and L3 are both for PO B, so I decide to just go there a second time and get those too.

 

I go to PO B. L2's package can't be found, but I'm promised they will continue to look and call me. If I don't hear anything, I should come back in a couple of days. L3 has already been picked up.... What? I checked my package codes for packages I had picked up at PO B already (I've been getting a lot of double letters for packages recently) and I supposedly hadn't picked it up.

 

I go home confused. But I needed to call the postal service again, anyway right? About package A1, and now about L2 and L3.

 

So I call and book a delivery for A1 (the system is working again). L2 apparently arrived at the store in early June and my letter was over a week late so that is probably why they didn't find the package. L3 had been picked up. L3 turned out to be A2. So on the same day I got two different letters for A2, one telling me it was at PO A and another telling me it was at PO B.

 

FAIL!!!!! 

 

Lol, at least I never got frustrated about all this. Instead I just shook my head and laughed.

 

And the addition I meant to add that I mentioned in my reply to @Butternut will happen tomorrow instead, because my post office troubles were too amusing to not tell.

That sounds like a busy day! Great job on rolling with it and not getting frustrated :)

Adventurer "Not all those who wander are lost." J.R. R. Tolkien 

Challenge 5/8-6/46/12-7/7

False log start

 

 

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5 hours ago, Aeri-sand said:

Logistics. 

giphy.gif

Hehe, so cute. And yeah, now more fun today when I go to see if we can find that package that has been there for a while: L2.

 

2 hours ago, moork310 said:

That sounds like a busy day! Great job on rolling with it and not getting frustrated :)

Thanks. I'm happily surprised that I rolled with it so well. :)

  • Like 2

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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20 hours ago, Dagger said:

June 15 - Day 3, Week 1

Woke up super tired. I went for a cup of tea before my morning walk and therefore my morning walk was late, but no worries, I have plenty of days to make another morning walk in time.

 

Today became a day of errands. So No progress on the "hard" tasks (writing, study, Zumba, yoga).

 

Exercise

Steps: 3/28

Morning routine: 2/3, week 1

Zumba: 1 of 1-2, week 1

Yoga: 0 of 1-2, week 1

 

Nutrition

No TV-dinners: 3/28

Meal on schedule: 2/4, week 1 (lunch)

 

Level Up My Life

Writing: 0/3, week 1

Studying: 1/5, week 1

Reading: 2/28, I read as the last thing of my day, so this will always be a day behind

Evening routine: 2/28, like reading I do it at the end of the day, so tomorrow you will know if I did it

 

Misc

After taking a late morning walk, I went off to pick up a lot of packages that were waiting in different places. In Sweden the postal service aren't allowed to leave packages outside your door, so if they are too big for the mailing box you have to go get them at the post office. Except... Let me just tell the tale.

 

Post office A (PO A) = is in a nearby town about 10 minutes by car away. Packages that are too big/heavy goes there instead of my normal post office.

Post office B (PO B) = is my normal place about less than 5 minutes away by car, or a 18ish minute walk away.

"Post" office C (PO C) = store about 5 minute walk away that have a deal with DHL to have DHL packages go there instead of the closest post office.

 

I planned to pick up five packages.

1 at PO A, lets call it A1

3 at PO B, lets call them B1, B2 and B3

1 at PO C, lets call it C1

 

So I go to the town "far" away for the first package at PO A. There I learn that they don't have A1 with them, it is in a town 30 minutes away (PO D). But they have this package A2 that is for me so I can pick that up.

 

I get into my car and call the postal service and learn I can schedule a delivery for A2, but not right now because the system is down, can I call back later? Sure...

 

I go to PO B and pick up all packages fine there (B1, B2, B3). The same happens at PO C and I get home with A2, B1, B2, B3, and C1. Not quite what I expected...

 

And in the mail box at home is... three letters (L1, L2, L3) telling about three more packages I need to pick up! GAH!

 

L1 talks about A2 that I can pick up at PO A. Fine. I already got that one. Yay! *rips the letter in two*

L2 and L3 are both for PO B, so I decide to just go there a second time and get those too.

 

I go to PO B. L2's package can't be found, but I'm promised they will continue to look and call me. If I don't hear anything, I should come back in a couple of days. L3 has already been picked up.... What? I checked my package codes for packages I had picked up at PO B already (I've been getting a lot of double letters for packages recently) and I supposedly hadn't picked it up.

 

I go home confused. But I needed to call the postal service again, anyway right? About package A1, and now about L2 and L3.

 

So I call and book a delivery for A1 (the system is working again). L2 apparently arrived at the store in early June and my letter was over a week late so that is probably why they didn't find the package. L3 had been picked up. L3 turned out to be A2. So on the same day I got two different letters for A2, one telling me it was at PO A and another telling me it was at PO B.

 

FAIL!!!!! 

 

Lol, at least I never got frustrated about all this. Instead I just shook my head and laughed.

 

And the addition I meant to add that I mentioned in my reply to @Butternut will happen tomorrow instead, because my post office troubles were too amusing to not tell.

 

Haha. Mail service is wonderful, except when it isn't. Good job on laughing instead of getting frustrated. Me, I'm just confused by all this.

  • Like 1

 

Karen

Otherwise know as Fiddle

 

Current Challenge

https://rebellion.nerdfitness.com/index.php?/topic/108280-fiddle-eats-less-and-fiddles

 

***********************

Past Challenges:

Jan 2016, Feb 2016, March 2016April 2016, May 2016June/July2016, July/August 2016, Sept/Oct 2016, Nov 2016, May 2017

***********************

 

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That is an impressively convoluted series of events, haha. In Canada they sometimes leave packages and sometimes leave a letter telling you to come to the post office (I am not 100% sure how they decide which one to do) and they seem to lose packages far more than in the US or the UK, at least from my experience.

 

I hope the packages contained exciting stuff!

Fitbit  |  Current Challenge  |  Old Challenges:  1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 ~ 10 ~ 11 ~ 12 ~ 13 ~ 14 ~ 15 ~ 16 ~ 17 ~ 18 ~ 19 ~ 20 ~ 21

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14 hours ago, fiddle-on said:

Haha. Mail service is wonderful, except when it isn't. Good job on laughing instead of getting frustrated. Me, I'm just confused by all this.

Yeah, it had me confused too. But I've gotten to expect it.

 

13 hours ago, Severine said:

That is an impressively convoluted series of events, haha. In Canada they sometimes leave packages and sometimes leave a letter telling you to come to the post office (I am not 100% sure how they decide which one to do) and they seem to lose packages far more than in the US or the UK, at least from my experience.

 

I hope the packages contained exciting stuff!

If the packages doesn't fit in the mail box, we always get letters. They don't lose packages much here, thankfully.

  • Like 1

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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June 16 - Day 4, Week 1

I had to get up more than an hour earlier than usual to get to my hair appointment in time. My hair is now back to being short (chin length) and I love it.

 

This became another day of errands. Not that I had to go out and do much. But I still had nothing left over. More in misc.

 

Exercise

Steps: 4/28

Morning routine: 2/3, week 1

Zumba: 1 of 1-2, week 1

Yoga: 0 of 1-2, week 1

 

Nutrition

No TV-dinners: 4/28

Meal on schedule: 3/4, week 1 (lunch)

 

Level Up My Life

Writing: 0/3 or 0/300 words, week 1

Studying: 1/3, week 1

Reading: 4/28

Evening routine: 4/28

 

Misc

The A1 package arrived yesterday. I learned that L2 is this package with wrong address that I've been dealing with for the last two weeks. So I'm done with package stuff.

 

13 hours ago, Severine said:

I hope the packages contained exciting stuff!

Oh yes! I now have everything I need to make my desk a standing desk if I want, plus a soft mat to stand on instead of the wooden floor. I have a paleo cook book that @Laghail. I also have a lot of fun geek gear from Loot Crate. Plus probably something more.

 

And yesterday I bought a book about local hiking trails, some more local than others, but still close-ish. And I picked up pamphlets about nature preserves in my area. Lots of goodies got picked up in the last couple of days.

 

So hair cut was nice today, so was getting the delivery. Then I had a crisis of faith in the late afternoon. My mind was whip-lashing from thinking I was aiming too low to thinking it was too high. So I spent more time thinking. I also talked to Laghail and he reminded me to be kind to myself.

 

You might notice I italics two goals under Level Up My Life. That is because I've done modifications to them. The reason is that days I run errands are like days I workout: I can't plan anything else on those days because most of the time I use up all my will power doing the errands/workout. That means if I tried to do something 5 days a week, it would be impossible. Two days goes to workouts. And then what if I have a lot of errands? Then I lose another day. And what if I have a bad day? These are allowances for me.

 

3 times a week will work well I think. I should be able to squeeze that out even if I have to force myself in a way I don't like.

 

And the writing can happen just once a week as long as I get 300 words, but I'd prefer three sessions per week than one, so I guess I'll try for three but at least hit 300 words.

 

I feel good about these changes even if it makes me feel like a slacker. But I know myself. I can't push in certain ways, that just makes me want to hide in a cave and pretend the real world doesn't exist. I will NOT make myself crawl into that cave just because I want to do all the things.

 

Plus how could I have done more yesterday, during the evening it was raining so I did exactly what I want to do every time it rains. I lay on my couch listening to the rain while reading. I took the time to enjoy life at that moment. I don't feel bad about that.

 

Those moments are what life is about.

  • Like 1

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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On 15 Jun 2016 at 0:52 PM, Butternut said:

I love over how your working on your self talk. It always amazes me how I let my emotions control my thoughts.  

I think one of the main reasons I'm succeeding right now is because I finally accepted myself for what I look like now.

 

I was a normal-weighted slash slightly skinny kid until I stopped growing taller. So around 15-16 years of age I started slowly gaining weight. And it was slow. Real slow.

 

I can't tell you exactly, because I wasn't weighting myself. But now I am almost 116 kg. Some time last year when I weighted myself last I was 108 kg. (So maybe 8 kg in less than a year isn't that slow... but anyway, it has felt slow.)

 

When I was around 20-21 years old was when I had grown out of any normal sizes, maybe it was slightly before then but I didn't buy clothes often and I have not been keeping track. So I had to go to these small corners for clothing stores to find overweight sizes. Of course all the clothes looked the same and didn't have any modern styles or anything. Apparently back then if you were overweight you obviously didn't care about your looks at all.

 

I've never cared much, my looks isn't that important to me. But damnit, I want clothes I like. So not finding clothes I liked for my size didn't help me accept what was happening to me. I had my blinders on and hoped my weight gain/-ing would just stop.

 

It didn't. And I knew one thing about myself: I don't thrive on hate. Hating my body wasn't helping me fix it, it was making me hide from the fact. It made me pretend I didn't have a problem because hate makes me want to hide. Some people can use hate to their advantage. Good for them. :)

 

So I knew what I had to do. I had to accept how I looked. I had to accept that it was my behavior that was making me fat and fatter. This is not a pleasant thing to accept. I realized this when I was around 22 perhaps?

 

Slowly overweight sections of big brand clothing stores (the only ones I knew) grew larger and had more styles. Someone somewhere recognized that just because you are overweight doesn't mean you don't want nice clothes. (I think Sweden has been further behind on this than say the US.)

 

I hate clothes shopping, at least when I have to search and search to find stuff that fits and that I like. About 2 years ago, maybe 3, I went clothes shopping because I had to and I found a lot of stuff that I at least liked that was in my size. I would have preferred to just by what I loved, but by this time I'd lowered my expectations a lot so I'd have some clothes. 

 

I had clothes I could put on and feel good in. I could even feel pretty. They fit me and I liked them, some I even loved.

 

The catalyst was last year though. I was in Seattle, WA (USA) visiting a friend and we were window-shopping when we walked past a Torrid store. Torrid have a lot of good looking clothes (although I skip the skull motif stuff because I'm not into that), and they have everything in my size. It is a store for overweight sized clothes. Heaven!

 

I found a LOT of clothes I loved, and I could say no to the ones I just kinda liked because there was so much to choose from. (One of my dreams is to be able to walk into most clothing stores and feel this way.) Sure, some clothes weren't the right cut for me, but they had it in my size! All of it!

 

It had been a decade when I last could feel that way. Needless to say both times I was in the US this spring I went by Torrid again and bought a lot of clothes both times. I'm now starting to have something resembling a wardrobe I actually like. I can probably purge all the kinda-like clothes if I want. I haven't yet, but I probably could now without a problem. :D

 

I now have clothes I really enjoy wearing. And just that small thing have made it easier to accept what I look like and that I've created me by my habits. I actually have some clothes I will mourn growing too small for, and I look forward to that moment.

 

Now that I know at least one shop were I can find great clothes even if I loose (or gain) some weight, I don't have the clothing problem anymore. And when I get too small for Torrid, maybe that means I'm small enough for the largest sizes in most stores? Who knows, I hope I get to find out. :)

 

Self talk is a hard thing. And I can't just stand in front of the mirror doing affirmations. I don't lie to myself. And that is what I would have done.

 

The other day I looked in the mirror like any other day but I saw what I usually don't see. I noticed I find my own face pleasing, the features I mean. In almost the same moment I realized my face would change if I lost weight. I never lost all my child fat before I became overweight, so I don't know how I look without it. It will be interesting to see.

 

Most days when I look in the mirror all I see is the pimples I get due to the way I eat. Although most of the time I'm not even looking, if you know what I mean. I happen to look in the mirror but I don't see because I don't really look.

 

My emotions often affect my thoughts, but nowadays I recognize it and I know those thoughts are mostly false. Like yesterday as I described in my update. My mind went from the goals are too small to the goals are too hard. The truth lay somewhere in between. I adjusted them because I know myself.

 

I can't push my emotions to what I want. I have to guide them. I have to recognize when my emotions are manipulating me and decide what to do about it (usually I either got for a walk or I read fiction, both relieves stress for me).

 

If there is one thing I would recommend everyone learn as best they can, it is to be self-aware. To know yourself. And to do that you need to take note (not literally unless you want to) of when you feel things and try to figure out why. You have to look for times when you managed to turn bad to good and what you did to achieve it so you can replicate the situation. You have to be aware of your body and what it is telling you. When I started walking every day I could feel the difference in my body, how much better it generally felt from before when I only walked occasionally or while on vacation.

 

And most of all: Be Kind to Yourself.

 

I recently bought a hanging scroll that says:

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection ~ Buddha

 

I don't know if Buddha said that. I don't even know if all those commas are correct. But I know the message is true and I'm trying to live it. <3

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Dagger that's lovely.  You are self-aware and your right. You have to be acceptable to yourself.  I love that Buddha quote.  I am going to take it.  I can't do affirmations either, but I will do things like "I am calm, centered, and clear"  

 

Self talk is horrible, I think its a major thing for everyone.  I have to read or listen to pod cast almost everyday to keep my mind straight.  From my findings, I love this parable from the podcast "The One You Feed" and the parable is "There is a grandfather talking to his grandson, and he tells the Grandson 'Son there are two wolfs inside of you that are always in battle with each other.  One wolf represent hate, anger, and jealousy, and the other wolf represents love, compassion, and happiness,' and the grandson looks at his grandfather and says 'But Grandfather, who wins?' and the Grandfather says 'The one you feed' "  

 

I also find it interesting you talking about cloths.  I've always thought that you got to be comfortable with what your wearing to feel confident.  I remember when 2x all looked the same, and I never thought about what you said, what if you don't like the selection?!  How are you going to feel confident when you have to wear beige all the time?  I completely understand that feeling of wanting to walk into a store and be able to wear anything. And that is one thing us overweight people have is when we lose that weight, we are so much more grateful, mindful, and aware of who we are and who we once were when we get to that size we want to be in.  We glow with a different kind of grateful confidence than someone who has always been in shape.  

 

 

  • Like 1

"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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3 hours ago, Butternut said:

"The One You Feed" and the parable is "There is a grandfather talking to his grandson, and he tells the Grandson 'Son there are two wolfs inside of you that are always in battle with each other.  One wolf represent hate, anger, and jealousy, and the other wolf represents love, compassion, and happiness,' and the grandson looks at his grandfather and says 'But Grandfather, who wins?' and the Grandfather says 'The one you feed' "

I read a blog post/news about a study, so I suppose it could be wrong and I read it a long time ago so it isn't like I could find it, that study said that anger begets anger. Aka the more you get angry the more you get angry. So at least there it is completely true that if you feed anger you get more anger. When it comes to jealousy my opinion on that is usually a lack of self-esteem or self-confidense and/or trust issues. So I find the parable works from my experience. Feeding negative emotions makes them stronger. So I guess it would be surprising if it didn't work the other way around. :)

 

3 hours ago, Butternut said:

I've always thought that you got to be comfortable with what your wearing to feel confident.

It certainly helps a lot. The right clothes makes you look prettier, whatever your idea of pretty is. I didn't think I could actually feel pretty with the shape I have, but I have a few different clothes that makes me feel pretty. :)

 

3 hours ago, Grymm said:

I always found it helpful to think even if don't lose a kg, you're still losing all the kg's you would have gained if you didn't try.  I enjoy reading your updates.  They are pensive and meaningful.  And that last update is 1,242 words.  I think that counts for something.

Holy shit. That is freaking long. I should probably repurpose some of this stuff for blog posts later. XD

 

If only I could count non-fiction into my writing goal... But it isn't non-fiction that I'm trying to write. :)

 

Thank you. I'm glad to know someone is enjoying them. It takes time to write them, so it heartens that people read them. <3

  • Like 1

Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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14 minutes ago, Dagger said:

If only I could count non-fiction into my writing goal... But it isn't non-fiction that I'm trying to write. :)

Fiction is just non-fiction that happened in a world that might not exist.  Isn't it said that you start by writing the things you know about?  You can take daily thoughts and events and boil and recombine them until you can get scraps you can fashion into some new idea.  If you are having trouble writing, it's at least a place to start and usually starting is the hardest part.  I think a lot of people stall because they want everything they write to be good.  Maybe it works better sometimes to just write as much bad as you can.

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Intro

Challenges: #1#2#3#4, #5

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