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fleaball

Battle Kitten: Ascension

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12.11.17: life exploded this year. All health-related things went out the window. Trying to pick up the pieces so I can start again. In the meantime this is still largely a "dealing with mental health and life" kind of thread.

 

1.1.17: My goals need an overhaul but I'm not in the best place to do that right now. Fitness goals might be reestablished after an appointment with a pulmonologist later in the month. For the most part this thread will be a lot of anxiety disorder and general feelings-related stuff. Which is still a battle that deserves to be logged. Edits to come eventually.

 

Original June 2016 goals:

Spoiler

 

Making workouts a goal during challenges hasn't really worked, so I'm trying a new thing. Just work out for the sake of it, instead of to pass a challenge. I'll keep track of c25k runs, You Are Your Own Gym workouts, and possibly yoga and whatever else I feel like doing eventually. 

 

I'm not tying myself to a specific diet or calorie range or anything like that, but I'll post about what I eat if I have particular insights or try something that's especially tasty or disgusting. I should probably be aiming for ~80g protein regardless but it's gonna be rough. 

 

Spoiler alert: there will probably be more Supernatural and cat gifs and long rambling posts about nothing than there will be interesting things about workouts and food. It's how I roll. 

 

Immediate/short-term goals between now and August: 

  • Redo this first post because ugh
  • Complete the 10-week beginner program in YAYOG
  • Complete c25k
  • All the burpees
  • Find a playground and crush the monkey bars
  • Run a mile without stopping
  • Do 10 legit pushups
  • Do 10 pullups

 

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I can haz goals?

  • Lose ~61.8 pounds (211.8 on 6/5/16 --> 150 [if sustainable])
    • lose 30 by 8/27/16?
  • Run a full 5k
  • Run a 10k
  • Eat a mostly vegan diet
  • Pole dancing classes?

 

Potential future goals:

  • Run a half/full marathon?
    • Disney Princess half in a tutu! Glass Slipper Challenge?
    • lol Boston?
  • moar Spartans?
  • achieve various badass strength/bodyweight things that I'll list when it's not 1:30am?
  • Learn how to swim beyond being able to not drown
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On 8/6/2016 at 4:42 AM, fleaball said:

there will probably be more Supernatural and cat gifs and long rambling posts about nothing than there will be interesting things about workouts and food.

 

I can't say I dislike any of these.

Supernatural-Gif-supernatural-33019501-5

15jmaw.jpg

lolcat-o.gif

 

 

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I found your thread! How fabulous.

 

giphy.gif

 

More random thoughts from me:

  • I'm totally up for doing C25K at the same time and being vaguely motivating in each other's directions. I'm a tad nervous that I'm biting off more than I can chew with it because I also decided I'm jumping into pole dancing classes next week and I'm going to keep up with rock climbing and oh yeah I also work like 65 hours a week on the farm. Should be totally fine right? Right. So yeah I want to try C25K at the same time but if it falls by the wayside sometime in mid-July I won't be astonished.
  • We have pretty much the same current weight (I was like 208 this morning) and goal weight range. It's incredibly helpful for me to follow your posts because I have body image/dismorphia issues...based on your posts and your activities and stuff I perceive you as someone who's in good shape, working on serious goals etc. and I would never have guessed you'd be anywhere near me because I automatically think of whatever weight I currently am as being "too high for impressive genuine athleticism." The more I think about stuff like this the more I think I should probably see a therapist for body image/eating issues. Sigh. I shudder at the thought of trying to find a therapist I like.
  • Do you recommend YAYOG? I'm interested in bodyweight workouts but there are so many programs and I feel like I see a lot of conflicting advice about who should do which thing.
  • Trying to get enough protein is the bane of my macro existence.
  • That transcript nonsense is bullshit. You might still be able to get it changed if you send an email to a dean/provost type person. Sometimes if you're persistent and annoying enough, and/or polite to the right secretary, you can get things done that technically aren't allowed.
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3 minutes ago, Severine said:
  • We have pretty much the same current weight (I was like 208 this morning) and goal weight range. It's incredibly helpful for me to follow your posts because I have body image/dismorphia issues...based on your posts and your activities and stuff I perceive you as someone who's in good shape, working on serious goals etc. and I would never have guessed you'd be anywhere near me because I automatically think of whatever weight I currently am as being "too high for impressive genuine athleticism." The more I think about stuff like this the more I think I should probably see a therapist for body image/eating issues. Sigh. I shudder at the thought of trying to find a therapist I like.
  • Do you recommend YAYOG? I'm interested in bodyweight workouts but there are so many programs and I feel like I see a lot of conflicting advice about who should do which thing.
  • Trying to get enough protein is the bane of my macro existence.

 

  • Thank you for this one! I am glad that I am totally not the only one who has different perceptions about what people can and cannot do! Body image issues suck. (Blatant promo: I am doing a 30 day love yourself challenge in my thread - stop on by and listen to me ramble about this stuff too). 
  • I have YAYOG app and I like it okay. I haven't gotten too far into the process to feel that I've made any real headway or feel like I have made good progress. Interested in what you mean by conflicting advice though!
  • Protein is the bane of everyone's macro existence. 

Also Flea, totally following here to make sure I can keep up with you through Spartans!

 

giphy.gif

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9 minutes ago, Severine said:

I found your thread! How fabulous.

 

giphy.gif

 

More random thoughts from me: 

Raaaaaaage I can't do bullet points on mobile?! I'll write you a proper reply when I get home then. But I have to say reading that my posts are helping you just made me stop and go "lol wut." Because I don't see myself as posting/doing much of value. So that was awesome to hear. 

 

It's kinda funny you say that, actually. After thinking about it for a bit, I think that while I definitely want to lose weight and expect it to happen while I'm trying to get myself in shape, I'm almost treating them as separate things. Like, I can't run a mile or do a push-up, but it's not because of my weight. It's because I haven't gone running consistently in 2 years. And when I do manage a push-up, it will be that much more awesome because I'll be moving more weight than if I were 150. I didn't really realize I thought that until just now. Idk if it helps you any, or if you can try to look at it like that, but thanks for making me get there. ;)

 

sylvaa you literally replied as I was about to hit submit. I will get back to you later as well! 

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I looked quickly at my notifications and I swear to god I read "@NeverThatBored killed a kitten." I don't know what my brain is doing.

 

Also: I adulted today! Just made an appointment at the dentist office next door since I was early for therapy. Whee. I'm not afraid of the dentist or anything I just kept forgetting to find one. For a year. 

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Talking to my therapist about rewards:

 

her: What if you told yourself you can't go on that board until you've worked out on a given day? I bet they'd hold you to that and no one would reply to you until you said you'd done it. 

literally my reaction: NOOOOOO that's so evil! They totally would ugh. 

 

So hi guys, my therapist approves of your existence. I'm gonna go get a burger and fries and a milkshake on my way home bc I've been craving it for weeks. Then I'm gonna apply for a job and read about being vegan. Again. And maybe work out. Shhhh don't tell anyone. 

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Holy indigestion Batman. Why did I do that to myself? And dammit, why didn't I remember to buy mint tea on the way home?

 

4 hours ago, Severine said:

I found your thread! How fabulous.

 

giphy.gif

 

More random thoughts from me:

  • I'm totally up for doing C25K at the same time and being vaguely motivating in each other's directions. I'm a tad nervous that I'm biting off more than I can chew with it because I also decided I'm jumping into pole dancing classes next week and I'm going to keep up with rock climbing and oh yeah I also work like 65 hours a week on the farm. Should be totally fine right? Right. So yeah I want to try C25K at the same time but if it falls by the wayside sometime in mid-July I won't be astonished.
  • We have pretty much the same current weight (I was like 208 this morning) and goal weight range. It's incredibly helpful for me to follow your posts because I have body image/dismorphia issues...based on your posts and your activities and stuff I perceive you as someone who's in good shape, working on serious goals etc. and I would never have guessed you'd be anywhere near me because I automatically think of whatever weight I currently am as being "too high for impressive genuine athleticism." The more I think about stuff like this the more I think I should probably see a therapist for body image/eating issues. Sigh. I shudder at the thought of trying to find a therapist I like.
  • Do you recommend YAYOG? I'm interested in bodyweight workouts but there are so many programs and I feel like I see a lot of conflicting advice about who should do which thing.
  • Trying to get enough protein is the bane of my macro existence.
  • That transcript nonsense is bullshit. You might still be able to get it changed if you send an email to a dean/provost type person. Sometimes if you're persistent and annoying enough, and/or polite to the right secretary, you can get things done that technically aren't allowed.
  • How does next week sound for starting c25k? Good for you for signing up for pole dancing! That's awesome! I would also not blame you for dropping c25k while doing all that, but yes let's try it anyway!
  • Seriously you don't know how awesome it is to hear that. :) I'm slightly worried about my weight with respect to the Spartan, if only because hauling myself over an 8-foot wall at 185, for example, will be easier than doing it at 211. But  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ . No one's telling me I can't do it except for me. (PS idk if you watch Supernatural but two of the guest actresses are super body positive and give exactly zero fucks and they're pretty cool to follow on twitter if you're interested in random inspiration and women supporting each other.) I fully support therapy (obv) but I hear you on finding one being a pain in the ass. If it helps, I started by searching through my insurance's website and sorting for the things I wanted covered, then googled the people who popped up and read their Psychology Today profiles and/or the profiles on the practice websites. At some point I was filtering their styles too but I'm not sure if it was an actual option or if I just searched for CBT and vetoed psychoanalysis and such as they came up. It sort of helps to narrow it down that way?
  • I've barely used YAYOG but yeah, it's definitely something I like. I read the book before buying it, which isn't necessary but definitely sold me on it. There's 4 levels, and I think they're all 10 weeks? It takes you through a warm up, ~4 exercises (so far 6 sets of however many reps you can do in 30 seconds), makes you rest between sets and between exercises, and then does a cool down. With videos for everything. I'm at a point where yeah, I read about workouts and shit but I have no idea how many reps/sets to do, what exercises to do, how long to do it for, wtf to even do for a warm up/cool down, etc, so it's so much easier for me to just listen to my phone telling me what to do. I tried the NF playground workout but had to stop between exercises to check my phone and see what was next/how to do it/blah. Same when trying the BBWW at home. And YAYOG just asks you at the end of each exercise what the lowest number of reps you completed was, so it will track your progress for you. I'm also interested in what you mean by conflicting advice. If it's just that it's confusing because everyone and their mom has their own idea of what the best program is, then yeah. I totally agree and that's why I'm glad I spent $3 on an app. 
  • Protein is dumb. Period.
  • I'm debating emailed the head of the advising office, but honestly I don't know if there's actually a way to get rid of it. Like the system might not be set up for it. My roommate suggested just editing it out in photoshop. We'll see what happens.

 

3 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Also Flea, totally following here to make sure I can keep up with you through Spartans!

 

giphy.gif

Did you start your 30-day challenges already? I might lurk and participate in the shadows. A+ gif. 

 

My brain is not functioning on all cylinders and I totally don't understand what you mean about keeping up with me. Like keeping track of? Or are you assuming I'm going to do all the Spartans and need to stalk me to them? (I had a red eye earlier and now I'm drinking tea and honestly English is failing me at this point.)

 

34 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

D: What a cruel joke for your brain to play. 

I have no idea where it came from. I'm going to blame lack of sleep. My brain clearly thinks you dislike kittens, between eating them and now this.

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4 minutes ago, fleaball said:

I have no idea where it came from. I'm going to blame lack of sleep. My brain clearly thinks you dislike kittens, between eating them and now this.

 

Slander, I tell you. Slander. You're the only kitten-eater here.

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6 minutes ago, fleaball said:

Did you start your 30-day challenges already? I might lurk and participate in the shadows. A+ gif. 

 

My brain is not functioning on all cylinders and I totally don't understand what you mean about keeping up with me. Like keeping track of? Or are you assuming I'm going to do all the Spartans and need to stalk me to them? (I had a red eye earlier and now I'm drinking tea and honestly English is failing me at this point.)

 

30-day challenge starts today.

 

Also, I mean keeping up with you on the course. You'll be ahead of me if you keep up the pace!

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2 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:

 

Slander, I tell you. Slander. You're the only kitten-eater here.

Who knows, maybe I'm just projecting by blaming it all on you instead.

 

Just now, Sylvaa said:

30-day challenge starts today.

 

Also, I mean keeping up with you on the course. You'll be ahead of me if you keep up the pace!

Ugggggh why. Are you posting here or IG or just keeping it to yourself?

 

Pfffft woman what are you talking about? You and @NeverThatBored are going to be fucking lapping me because y'all actually work out. I just talk about it a lot. (PS are we actually doing the banana shirts? Because I will rock the hell out of the neon yellow and give zero fucks while doing it.)

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1 minute ago, fleaball said:

Ugggggh why. Are you posting here or IG or just keeping it to yourself?

 

Pfffft woman what are you talking about? You and @NeverThatBored are going to be fucking lapping me because y'all actually work out. I just talk about it a lot. (PS are we actually doing the banana shirts? Because I will rock the hell out of the neon yellow and give zero fucks while doing it.)

 

Posting here, maybe Instagram too. 

 

And yes to the banana shirts! Although, I look really bad in neon yellow - can I do orange?

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1 minute ago, Sylvaa said:

 

Posting here, maybe Instagram too. 

 

And yes to the banana shirts! Although, I look really bad in neon yellow - can I do orange?

Go for it. I'm pretty sure I look terrible in yellow too. I don't think I looked too bad in the neon green tank top I wore ages ago, so I might look for a site that has it in that color. Or maybe neon pink, if it's actually neon. Like my shoes. I won't be wearing those shoes for this thing but if I'm gonna keep doing things that aren't flea-typical, I may as well wear a pink shirt.

 

Bleh. I guess I'll post here. Why do I keep giving in to peer pressure? D:

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YES to C25K. I put it into my next challenge (as you already found out) and I'm excited about it. The story that goes along with the Zombies app is compelling for me - the last time I half-completed it, I found myself looking forward to going running to find out what happened which is surreal even to type. It'll be good to have someone else doing it at the same time.

 

Your description of the YAYOG app completely sold me on it. As in "I read about workouts and shit but I have no idea how many reps/sets to do, what exercises to do, how long to do it for, wtf to even do for a warm up/cool down, etc, so it's so much easier for me to just listen to my phone telling me what to do" is pretty much exactly me and what I need. I get paralyzed by the need to always do a little more research to find the right answer about what workouts to do in which order, etc. and at this point that's dumb and I just need to follow a program and worry about min-maxing later. Anyway, I'm not going to pile another thing on to my current challenge but that is so on deck for the next one. And if I like pole and want to keep up with it (hopefully!) then bodyweight stuff like YAYOG will be complementary. 

 

Oh and yeah for the conflicting reports I just mean that I read some people saying YAYOG is great for beginners while other people say it's not, some people say another program is better or that they didn't like the pacing or whatever. Obviously, there's no consensus on what's best and I don't expect there to be, but when I feel unqualified to sort out who's worth listening to and who's not, it's hard to know what to pick.

 

I'm glad me finding your posts useful is useful to you, haha. What are the names of those two actresses? Also I really like your perspective on focusing on the ability to do things, and not how weight plays into it. Like it might be a little more hard at X weight but that doesn't mean it can't happen. It's funny, for stuff I took up more recently, like rock climbing, I feel more that way, but for stuff I have a longer history of opinions about, like running, I'm much more beholden to bullshit brainweasels.

 

Do you like how this post is basically just me doing bullet points again (no actual flow between anything) but I left out the bullet points? So sneaky.

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25 minutes ago, Severine said:

YES to C25K. I put it into my next challenge (as you already found out) and I'm excited about it. The story that goes along with the Zombies app is compelling for me - the last time I half-completed it, I found myself looking forward to going running to find out what happened which is surreal even to type. It'll be good to have someone else doing it at the same time.

 

Your description of the YAYOG app completely sold me on it. As in "I read about workouts and shit but I have no idea how many reps/sets to do, what exercises to do, how long to do it for, wtf to even do for a warm up/cool down, etc, so it's so much easier for me to just listen to my phone telling me what to do" is pretty much exactly me and what I need. I get paralyzed by the need to always do a little more research to find the right answer about what workouts to do in which order, etc. and at this point that's dumb and I just need to follow a program and worry about min-maxing later. Anyway, I'm not going to pile another thing on to my current challenge but that is so on deck for the next one. And if I like pole and want to keep up with it (hopefully!) then bodyweight stuff like YAYOG will be complementary. 

 

Oh and yeah for the conflicting reports I just mean that I read some people saying YAYOG is great for beginners while other people say it's not, some people say another program is better or that they didn't like the pacing or whatever. Obviously, there's no consensus on what's best and I don't expect there to be, but when I feel unqualified to sort out who's worth listening to and who's not, it's hard to know what to pick.

 

I'm glad me finding your posts useful is useful to you, haha. What are the names of those two actresses? Also I really like your perspective on focusing on the ability to do things, and not how weight plays into it. Like it might be a little more hard at X weight but that doesn't mean it can't happen. It's funny, for stuff I took up more recently, like rock climbing, I feel more that way, but for stuff I have a longer history of opinions about, like running, I'm much more beholden to bullshit brainweasels.

 

Do you like how this post is basically just me doing bullet points again (no actual flow between anything) but I left out the bullet points? So sneaky.

I almost want to do Zombies just to see what the story is, but I'm also perfectly happy with the app I use and don't want to fix something that isn't broken. Maybe if I complete this one I'll try zombies for the hell of it. I'm looking forward to doing it with you! 

 

Haha glad I could help. :) I hear you on the paralysis. Isn't it fun? Not. I typically feel the same way you do. I know there's no right way but why are there 593467548 different ways?!

 

Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster. They're awesome. Like, both life goals AND wife goals. I shit you not, I didn't realize I even thought that way until I wrote it out. But I'm super happy about it haha. Makes sense that it would be harder to distance yourself from longer-held opinions. Time to prove yourself wrong. :)

 

Psuedo-bullet points ftw!

 

 

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I can barely keep up with the rate of posting here but I am enjoying it all. My supervisor saw Battle Kitten in the tabs of my browser today and was impressed without even knowing what it meant (not that I was checking NF at work of course....  shh) Also it cracks me up that you talk about training for c25k by running miles heh. 

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8 hours ago, Owlet said:

I can barely keep up with the rate of posting here but I am enjoying it all. My supervisor saw Battle Kitten in the tabs of my browser today and was impressed without even knowing what it meant (not that I was checking NF at work of course....  shh) Also it cracks me up that you talk about training for c25k by running miles heh. 

The app actually says "run 1 mile" and such. It sounds wonky but hey. I guess when you're signing up for a race "3.1 miles" just doesn't flow as well as "5k."

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I'm here!!

Animals-Waving-Goodbye-4-Kitten.jpg

 

On 8.6.2016 at 9:03 PM, fleaball said:

Talking to my therapist about rewards:

 

her: What if you told yourself you can't go on that board until you've worked out on a given day? I bet they'd hold you to that and no one would reply to you until you said you'd done it. 

literally my reaction: NOOOOOO that's so evil! They totally would ugh. 

 

So hi guys, my therapist approves of your existence.

I like your therapist. So, are we doing this, or what?

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