Severine's 100% Foolproof Plan To Do More Stuff

[Severine]

This is my second challenge! I'm still in the Rebel forum because I keep waffling on which guild is the best fit for me. 

 

If you're curious about me, here's the short version: I'm a language and history and biology nerd who lives in Boston and runs an organic farm for a living. Well, technically two farms but that's not the short version. I used to work in law and was really sedentary, but then I lost a lot of weight (about 90 pounds) and switched careers and became a reasonably active and healthy person. However, I still have unresolved food and body image issues of various kinds. Once I "succeeded," I got complacent, and then my eating was crap and some of the weight started reappearing despite my continued high activity levels. I don't want to regain what I lost, so I'm here to get my shit back together and continue progressing toward my ultimate goals. In the broadest terms, my ultimate goals are (1) achieving and maintaining a high level of fitness and athleticism which I use to do a wide variety of fun and interesting stuff (2) eating healthy food and (3) resolving my food and body dysmorphia issues. That's epic quest type stuff, but I hope to make incremental progress in the right direction with every challenge.

 

I love rock climbing, hiking and walking, canoeing, camping, and basically most outdoor things. I have dabbled in weight lifting and really enjoy it although I suck at it due to never buckling down and I have a lot of anxiety about proper form. I also really like bodyweight workouts (one of my goals is to be able to do pullups someday), and I'm interested in learning pole dancing. What else? Oh, one of my life goals is to complete C25K and then run the entirety of a 5K (no walking). I'm interested in becoming more flexible and possibly trying yoga (which I have never done) at some point. Can you see why I'm having trouble choosing a guild??

 

My first challenge was a great success, except for the sidequest life goal to write 500 words a day, which I spectacularly bombed. I want to maintain the good habits that made May a happy, healthy, and productive month for me, and also ADD MORE STUFF because of course I want to add more stuff. 

 

Adding more goals to an established and stable routine! What could possibly go wrong, right? RIGHT?

 

 

THE CHALLENGE THAT COULD NOT POSSIBLY GO WRONG

 

1. Don't Be A Moron PART 1 - Track food and stay in calorie target range 

• Technically this is two things BUT they are two things I have a lot of experience doing (from my big weight loss years back) and I killed this stuff during my last challenge. I track all my food using an app and my target calorie range is somewhere between 1800-2100 averaged over the four weeks. This goal should be easy - it's just about maintaining what I'm already doing. 

2. Don't Be A Moron PART 2 - Reduce stress by conquering procrastination

• This is another repeat goal from last time because it was incredibly helpful for me. I will accomplish at least one thing off my (giant) to-do list every day, over and above my normal daily responsibilities at home and at work. I am a procrastinator, and when I have a lot of shit to do it makes me incredibly anxious, and those two things are a terrible combination. Basically I avoid stuff, get anxious about how much there is to do, anxiety makes me more avoidant, which makes the list longer which increases the anxiety, etc. NO MORE! Last month this goal was a huge win for me - I got shit done, felt good, and noticeably lowered my stress levels which in turn helps me accomplish my other goals.

3. But Not Being A Moron Isn't Quite Sufficient, Now Is It? - Try new physical activities that I've been wanting to try

• I'm going to try a couple things that are on my goal list this month:
  • Zombies, Run! Couch to 5K - I started this once upon a time but never finished. I love the story and I have successfully run a full mile without stopping before (I think it was like 14 minutes though which is like...the same speed as I can walk) so I feel like it should be possible for me to do a 5K with training, but let's be honest - I'm terrified by the idea because I've never seen myself as someone who could actually run. That was for other people, fit people. Nevermind that I played soccer and all sorts of other shit that involved running - that didn't count because...oh, right, my body image issues. UGH. So I'm going to do it because it's scary and because I honestly probably can. Pending organization and such, @fleaball is going to be doing C25K at the sameish time and that'll be helpful for motivation.
  • Pole dancing - This is something I have been wanting to try for a while now. I absolutely love dancing and bodyweight stuff, and one of the queer bars I sometimes go to here in Boston occasionally has really impressive pole dancers. It's a cool combination of dance, acrobatics, strength, and bodyweight badassery. I signed up for a class with this guy and I'm nervous but excited. I'm not picturing a new career here, just something fun that'll make me better at climbing and hopefully also help me combat ongoing body image brainweasels.
• For this goal, the only requirement is that I give these things an honest try and see how I feel about them during the four weeks. 

4. Fight Brainweasels - Body Image/Food Issues

• This is pretty unstructured but it's definitely something I have on my mind right now. I have had food and body image issues for a really, really long time. Like I remember leaving for school one day in grade 2, walking halfway there and realizing that I looked so fat in my shorts that I had to go home and change. GRADE 2. I was a normal sized kid with enormous body confidence issues that my mum and grandmother, free of malice though they certainly were, compounded exponentially. By the time I was in middle school I probably spent at least a couple hours a day thinking/worrying about food and my body. Here is a picture of me when I was 13 that led to me not wearing shorts again for something ridiculous like 5 years. Looking back, it feels insane--now I just see an average, decently healthy little girl--but at the time I was horrified by this picture and I really only saw ugliness.
• 
• Anyway. I've gotten a lot better, to say the least, but my history with weight and fitness has always been tainted by these issues, and even now they're still a problem. For example: I work a physical job and am excellent at it, I rock climb, I love walking and hiking, I play pick-up sports with friends...and I still have a hard time daring to think of myself as an athletic person. I lost a lot of weight but still struggle with stress eating and I definitely don't see myself as having a healthy relationship with food. So although I've gotten better at coping and doing the right things, the underlying issues and worries need to be addressed. I should probably see a therapist to help me work through some of this stuff, eventually, but for now I'd just like to make an effort to be aware of this stuff and post about it in here. If I can do 2 posts a week on that topic, I'll call this goal a success.

 

That's probably more than enough for one challenge, especially since I'm still going to be rock climbing at least once a week and working in the field all day.

 

WISH ME LUCK!

 

[fleaball]

Woohoo party hard! Ha, when I said how about next week I totally didn't realize it's the beginnging of the challenge. So I'm using the zen labs c25k app, which is 3 times a week for 8 weeks. Is Zombies the same? Doesn't really matter, I'm just curious. 

 

You're gonna rock the hell out of this challenge

[Kvedulf]

You're gonna crush it!
FOLLOWING!

[Sylvaa]

Totally following you!

 

Are you like in Boston? or around Boston? Totally curious about the organic farm. Also, all the cool kids are in and around Boston (or from in / around Boston). 

 

Can't wait to hear about the pole dancing class! It looks like so much fun.

[Severine]

39 minutes ago, fleaball said:

So I'm using the zen labs c25k app, which is 3 times a week for 8 weeks. Is Zombies the same? Doesn't really matter, I'm just curious. 

 

Yeah I think it's 3 times per week by default, but I think I'm going to let myself do either 2 or 3 times per week depending on how I feel. I don't mind if it takes me an extra week to finish - better than not finishing because the schedule is too much to keep up with.

 

16 minutes ago, Sylvaa said:

Are you like in Boston? or around Boston? Totally curious about the organic farm. Also, all the cool kids are in and around Boston (or from in / around Boston). 

 

I guess it depends on your definition, haha. Marty Walsh is not my mayor, but I'm definitely in metro Boston, east of 95. Waltham, to be more precise. I moved to Boston in 2008 and it definitely feels like home now, but I'm originally from Canada (Toronto). 

 

As for the farmy stuff: I co-own a small business with a friend of mine, growing certified organic cut flowers (over 30 different varieties). I also manage a really small farm owned by a local chef - I grow vegetables and herbs for his restaurant. Both farms are about 20 minutes west of where I live.

[Rebel_Timelord]

Best wishes on your challenge! I did the C25K thing several years ago and even completed a 5K. Believe me--if I can do it anyone can! Something I would do differently though is that I would have run with a friend. I think the race would have been less daunting and more enjoyable. 

[Krissy V]

Wow you're so organized! Good luck!

[Dagger]

This sounds like an awesome challenge, and I want to see how you do. We can do this!

[Siofra]

I think I officially have a girl crush on you.  Damn!  I love your goals, your outlook and your accomplishments so far!  You give me hope that I can do so much more than I have already.  I'm down 15 of the pounds that I want to lose, but I'm having the damndest time getting back into Onederland!  I'm definitely going to be following your journey!

 

My girl crush is probably helped by the fact that you're from the Northeast.  I grew up in central Maine, but live in Arizona now.  I miss trees.  And seasons.  And not 115 degrees.

[Severine]

Things that are happening as Week 0 winds down:

• I'm getting over a cold. UGH. I absolutely loathe being sick. I was forced to take Wednesday off due to my puny human body needing rest, but yesterday and today I got a full day of work in and although I still feel behind, at least I'm actively working on catching up. Also: strawberry season is here and it is glorious. There is almost nothing that tastes as good as a strawberry right off the plant, warm from the sun.
• Tomorrow morning I have to drive down to Philly for a friend's wedding. I'm excited to be there for her, but not thrilled about the loooong drive. We affectionately refer to the area of New Jersey through which the interstate goes as a "freight swamp" because it's just endless wetlands full of shipping distribution centres for large chains.
• I signed up for a pole dancing class on Wednesday the 15th!
• I feel really good about my performance at rock climbing last night. The bit of weight I've lost is definitely improving my strength to weight ratio in a noticeable way. I completed a tricky 5.9 that involved a lot of moves I didn't think I could do but totally did.
• I'm still doing my food tracking and hitting calorie targets even though it's technically the week between challenges. Feeling good about eating and activity levels. Also doing a pretty good job keeping up with my to-do list, though I am not officially tracking that until the challenge starts.
• While trying to decide what to wear to the wedding, I tried on this one purple dress that I bought secondhand ages ago even though it was too small (it was something crazy like $4 for a $600 dress and I knew it'd look good on me if I lost a bit of weight) and although it's still not quite at the place where I feel comfortable wearing it to an hours-long event, it fits much better now and looked pretty sweet. I love sheath dresses. And secondhand clothing stores.
• American Ninja Warrior is back for its next season and this is a very good thing. Jessie Graff's badass senior citizen mother can do pullups, and I cannot. This has to change, people.
• Today is my lovely partner L's birthday so we're going to dinner at a local restaurant we all love. Mmmm it's going to be good. 

Basically: things are hectic, but great.

[Sylvaa]

Being sick sucks! Glad to hear you are on the mend.

 

Also glad that someone else recognizes the amazing-ness that is Jessie Graff. She's completely amazing. 

[Dagger]

Being sick:

Pole dancing:

Doing great:

 

Sounds like a good zero week (minus being sick).

[Siofra]

Being sick sucks!  I totally understand that.  But hey, you've got a lot of great going for you!  Pole dancing sounds fun!  I do fusion belly dance and it's such a blast!

[Rebel_Timelord]

Get well soon!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Severine]

4 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

Also glad that someone else recognizes the amazing-ness that is Jessie Graff. She's completely amazing. 

 

She is incredible! I also quite like Megan Martin and a bunch of the other competitors. We make ANW an event in our house - friends come over and we all watch it together. It's so cheesy (those commentators especially) but such fun and so incredibly inspiring. 

[Bookish Badger]

On June 8, 2016 at 4:16 PM, Severine said:

Brainweasels

 

This is officially my new favorite word! Also, following.

[Kvedulf]

What exactly is a brainweasel? It sounds awesome but I don't know what it is

 

Looks like you're off to an awesome start. Hope you're feeling better soon.

[Bookish Badger]

9 minutes ago, Kvedulf said:

What exactly is a brainweasel?

 

From Severine's first post, I'm guessing that it is that annoying, persistent, soul-destroying anti-affirmation that cycles through our brains. Like "I'm so fat," "I'm worthless," "I'm fat and worthless."

 

I think it must be somehow related to the ear worm, as unlikely as that may be taxonomologically.

[Severine]

11 hours ago, Kvedulf said:

What exactly is a brainweasel? It sounds awesome but I don't know what it is

 

@Bookish Badger is right! Brainweasels are the rascals scampering around in your head offering unwanted, unfounded criticism about a wide array of stuff. When you walk away from meeting a new person, your brainweasels might unhelpfully list off all the silly things you said during the conversation, for example. Brianweasels always remember when you mess up or miss an obligation, and then weasel by to remind you just when you least expect it. Brainweasels are the personification of doubt and of illogical, unhelpful self-criticism. Brainweasels are the reason we sometimes think unkind thoughts about ourselves--the kind we'd never think about anyone else.

 

There's a comic I really like called Robot Hugs that sometimes posts about body image stuff, and in the final couple frames of one particular comic there are these weird gloopy eel-type things that represent the two sides of worrying about weight that have always plagued me: (1) my desire to not be overweight and (2) my dislike of the fact that I am hung up my weight. I think these feelings-eels are also a pretty good example of brainweasels.

 

And hey, I just kind of accidentally posted about body image stuff, which is something I was intending to do during this challenge. Woo!

[Owlet]

20 minutes ago, Severine said:

 

@Bookish Badger is right! Brainweasels are the rascals scampering around in your head offering unwanted, unfounded criticism about a wide array of stuff. When you walk away from meeting a new person, your brainweasels might helpfully list off all the silly things you said during the conversation, for example. Brianweasels always remember when you mess up or miss an obligation, and then weasel by to remind you just when you least expect it. Brainweasels are the personification of doubt and of illogical, unhelpful self-criticism. Brainweasels are the reason we sometimes think unkind thoughts about ourselves--the kind we'd never think about anyone else.

 

Ha, this is such a good analogy! I dunno about the rest of the world, but in New Zealand weasels are pretty unpopular because they scamper around eating native birds' eggs - which are basically the only native animals we have so it's kind of a big deal. Also I think I have a bad infestation of brainweasels. Time to get out the brainweasel traps and save my brainbirds! 

[tienlong]

Brainweasels.  I very much like this term.  It's descriptive, and fun to say out loud. 

 

I have to admire your desire to run any kind of challenge.  I'm nowhere near the mental or physical state that would let me think that was a goal instead of an ideal.  Me, run?  Not without a chainsaw behind me. Literally. A chainsaw, or something worse.  I'm averse to the idea of running to the point where I would actually turn around and fight the monster behind me before I'd be willing to run for my life.  So the fact that you actually want to do something like that for the fun of it?  That's pretty awesome.

 

[Butternut]

Hey Severine! I'm am in the rebel again too (this is my 3rd challenge), glad to see a famiular face!

 

Love "BrainWeasel"  I've never had a term for the way I talk to myself, but now I do! My husband and I were just talking about that this weekend.  He is a guy that worries about the future and how to do something.  Me? I don't worry about it at all until it comes, than afterwards I start worrying about what I should have said, and so on. Its weird how some people tick.  I'm glad that you have the same ticking process.

 

Good luck with your challenges! I feel ya about body image and food thing.  I liked the comic you put up.  I am following because these are wonderful goals. 

[Severine]

Second day of the challenge! I'm back from Philly (the wedding was lovely, though the drive home was a bit of a chore because to get to Boston from Philly you have to go through NYC and there is just no good way to do that) and I'm feeling 92% recovered from my cold.

 

Not being a moron is going well. I'm still food tracking, and my calorie average for yesterday and today (not a big sample size, I know) is right on target. I checked things off my to-do list both days. Huzzah, etc.

 

I am, however, feeling pretty stressed out about everything I have to do right now. Leaving town meant missing two potential work days. Yesterday as I was trying to fall asleep that thing happened where my brain was all SWEET THIS IS A PERFECT TIME TO REFLECT ON ALL OUR OUTSTANDING OBLIGATIONS AND PENDING TASKS and so I just lay there for over an hour thinking about all the things I had to do, making up plans for what order I would do stuff and making mental lists and reminders and stuff. It's definitely an unpleasant experience but it is also oddly reassuring because by doing that mental sorting/planning I kind of feel like I'm making progress. Needless to say, I did not sleep well.

 

Today was very productive nonetheless, though. I'm totally knackered though. I'm trying to decide whether I have the energy to go and do my first C25K Zombies run. I mean, I probably can do it because the first week doesn't involve much actual running...UGH FINE BRAIN I'LL GO.

 

[Severine]

First Zombies 5K training run done! The first one is basically just an intro to the story, but I ran for as much of it as I could...probably about a quarter of the 28 minutes I was out, in spurts with fast walking in between. Obviously that's not great but it's a place to start.

 

I wish I had somewhere nearby to run that was flat. I go around my neighbourhood but the hills really up the difficulty. Good training, I suppose?

[Dagger]

Sounds like a good start considering you had an event. Sounds like if I ever want to try running, I should try it with the zombie app everyone seems to love.

 

7 hours ago, Severine said:

am, however, feeling pretty stressed out about everything I have to do right now. Leaving town meant missing two potential work days. Yesterday as I was trying to fall asleep that thing happened where my brain was all SWEET THIS IS A PERFECT TIME TO REFLECT ON ALL OUR OUTSTANDING OBLIGATIONS AND PENDING TASKS and so I just lay there for over an hour thinking about all the things I had to do, making up plans for what order I would do stuff and making mental lists and reminders and stuff. It's definitely an unpleasant experience but it is also oddly reassuring because by doing that mental sorting/planning I kind of feel like I'm making progress. Needless to say, I did not sleep well.

I know that state. I've been combating it as best I can for a few years now. I've developed a habit of daydreaming to get to sleep. Basically I go on adventures in all kinds of different worlds or different versions of our worlds (aliens/zombies/werewolves). I do this every night whether my mind wants to list everything I need to do or not. It has gotten so far that if I daydream during the day I get immediately sleepy.

 

Sometimes it is hard to drone out the obligation voice in my head, but it is possible, you just have to be on guard.