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Severine

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I'm not dead! Huge apologies for disappearing for everyone's threads for so long. I'll check in with as many people as I can today and tomorrow. Things are overall really good. A lot is going on, most of it positive, much of it exciting, some of it a bit scary in that good-but-potentially-momentous way.

 

Flower sales at the farmstand are solid. Our flower CSA has started, which is great, and I'm doing wholesale accounts now too. Overall I think I'm doing better at keeping up with things than I was before. I feel alive, and happy, and I'm trying to keep perspective about what I can and cannot control, and not to let stress grind me down.

 

As for my update, here's a chart: 

01NOhc8.jpg

 

 

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10 lbs is exciting, but I understand why getting it off slowly is a lot safer.

 

Poor doggie :( his face itches.

 

Life change?!?!?! If its getting you excited, it must be good!

 

I walways think its funny that people you talk to about changes you want to make always have the "well that doesn't sound like a good idea, did you ever think of fill in the blank?" "Well of course I've thought of every single negative thing about it!!! I do lay in my bed at night damn it! Just be a support!!!!"  I hope you don't have this. 

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"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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That is awesome work. If you're feeling down at all, just cover up the negative side of the column and see how much awesome you've done :)

 

Poor puppy :(

 

I remember reading somewhere that if a life change doesn't scare and excite you, then it's not worth making the change. So that's a good thing.

7 hours ago, Butternut said:

I walways think its funny that people you talk to about changes you want to make always have the "well that doesn't sound like a good idea, did you ever think of fill in the blank?" "Well of course I've thought of every single negative thing about it!!! I do lay in my bed at night damn it! Just be a support!!!!"  I hope you don't have this. 

Seconded. My family are like this. Except they also add the "But when you were in school you always wanted to do fill in the blank. What happened?" For a start, that was twenty years ago!

 

You're awesome Severine!

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Today is victory over yourself of yesterday; tomorrow is your victory over lesser men.

                                                                                                                       -Miyamoto Musashi

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I agree with @Butternut and @Kvedulf.

 

I'd also like to add that it is good hearing from you. I always like your thoughts and as usual you show just yourself and it is so refreshing to see both the good and the bad, because that is how life often is.

 

I can also get super productive for a while when I have a lot to do, then I just want to take a vacation from my life, lol.

 

Btw, we've talked about obligation induced anxiety before, and with the productivity you talked about, this comic explains it so well: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.se/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

(I've wanted to share that with someone for a while. I hope it wasn't you that linked it to me the first time... I don't remember where I got the link... Oi!)

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Ooh, charts! I like charts.

 

Aww, poor puppy!

 

I think being nervous about the general upheaval inherent in big life changes is pretty inevitable, but the "telling certain people" nervousness can be tricky. The last time I had this problem, I told people I knew I could trust and also needed to tell and asked them not to tell my "certain people." This was made easier for me because "certain people" was really just one person. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if this was the right decision, so I'm not very helpful? Sorry.

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“Do you know where the wicked go after death?"
"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.
"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"
"A pit full of fire."
"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"
"No, sir."
"What must you do to avoid it?"
I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”
Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

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On 7/4/2016 at 2:54 PM, Jane Eyre Is My Patronus said:

I think being nervous about the general upheaval inherent in big life changes is pretty inevitable, but the "telling certain people" nervousness can be tricky. The last time I had this problem, I told people I knew I could trust and also needed to tell and asked them not to tell my "certain people." This was made easier for me because "certain people" was really just one person. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if this was the right decision, so I'm not very helpful? Sorry.

 

Yeah almost everyone has been amazing about it so far, but I was worried about telling people who'd be more directly affected. I did, and it went...not awesome but it could have been worse.

 

Also I'll stop being cryptic and make a post about it on here soon. I'm just too tired at the moment.

 

On 7/4/2016 at 11:00 PM, M_J said:

Oh hey, brain weasels! Yup. My body insecurities were more actively pushed on me by my family. Getting distance from them, both geographically and emotionally, helped a lot in resolving them.

 

The thing about geographic and emotional separation helping has been true for me too. When my mother comes to visit, it sometimes feels like being transported back through time. All of a sudden there are these passive aggressive remarks scattered throughout the day, and weird body judgement commentary overlaid onto every discussion no matter the topic. It's a very powerful reminder of how much happier I am now that such bullshit is no longer part of my life.

 

@Dagger I love Hyperbole and a Half! Sometimes they make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts :D

 

Today was busy but good. I'm handling stuff at work despite some upheaval, and while I still feel like I'm juggling a lot of responsibilities, my outlook has improved and I'm focused on doing what I can and being practical about setting priorities instead of letting myself get anxious about every tiny thing that I might not have time for.

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On 7/3/2016 at 3:43 PM, Dagger said:

we've talked about obligation induced anxiety before, and with the productivity you talked about, this comic explains it so well: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.se/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

This. This is the story of my life. I love the meme hugging the trophy. Who knew you could express so much on Microsoft Paint. 

 

Daaaaang girl. I'm so impressed with how hecka busy you are and you still manage to post as often as you do! Also, I'm a firm believer in charts. Excited to hear about your major life change! I love your raw honesty in all your posts. 

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Because people like charts (as do I) and also because I am happy that weight loss is happening (even if I wish it were a wee bit slower):

 

jHFH5TP.jpg

 

I've been weighing in under 200 pounds consistently for about a week now, which is pretty damn exciting considering I was about 220 when I joined Nerd Fitness.

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Also! On the topic of weight loss and body image stuff, I recently listened to an episode of This American Life about fat and weight loss, and I really recommend it. It was very thought-provoking. Optimistic in parts and disturbing in parts and compassionate and interesting all throughout.

 

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/589/tell-me-im-fat

 

Plus it has Roxanne Gay as a guest, who I love, and Lindy West, who I do not love unreservedly but who is a very good storyteller. There's also a part by a woman who lost weight but in a really dysfunctional way and is dealing with some serious emotional fallout, and I found her story incredibly sad and powerful. Like days later and I'm still thinking about it, wishing she were a friend or something so I could help make it better.

 

Sorry for the post eruption. Bedtime now!

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I'm totally going to listen to that later. Congrats on the weight loss! :) And on the mystery thing going not-terribly. 

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20 minutes ago, Severine said:

I've been weighing in under 200 pounds consistently for about a week now, which is pretty damn exciting considering I was about 220 when I joined Nerd Fitness.

gpXfKa9xLAR56.gifWoo hoooo!!!! That's awesome!

 

And I listen to podcasts at work all the time and I will definitely have a listen to that one! Thanks for the suggestion!

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4 hours ago, Severine said:

Today was busy but good. I'm handling stuff at work despite some upheaval, and while I still feel like I'm juggling a lot of responsibilities, my outlook has improved and I'm focused on doing what I can and being practical about setting priorities instead of letting myself get anxious about every tiny thing that I might not have time for.

Sounds like you are doing good at the "adulting"! Good for you!

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4 hours ago, Severine said:

@Dagger I love Hyperbole and a Half! Sometimes they make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts :D

I just sent for the book. When I've read that I'll go and read the whole archive, but I thought I'd enjoy it in the book first. Btw, did you know a second book is coming out this fall? Wiiii!

 

4 hours ago, Severine said:

Yeah almost everyone has been amazing about it so far, but I was worried about telling people who'd be more directly affected. I did, and it went...not awesome but it could have been worse.

So glad to hear this. So it wasn't awesome, but if it wasn't as bad as it could have been? That is a win and I've been there.

 

4 hours ago, Severine said:

Today was busy but good. I'm handling stuff at work despite some upheaval, and while I still feel like I'm juggling a lot of responsibilities, my outlook has improved and I'm focused on doing what I can and being practical about setting priorities instead of letting myself get anxious about every tiny thing that I might not have time for.

Awesome to hear this.

 

Sounds like it is going good on many fronts. :D

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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Yay charts!

http://67.media.tumblr.com/aec344547d80de8bc05b17af6e97729b/tumblr_mlgzuvRnTL1s46koto5_500.gif

You're doing great!

 

I had not heard of This American Life before, but it's really interesting! Thank you.

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“Do you know where the wicked go after death?"
"They go to hell," was my ready and orthodox answer.
"And what is hell? Can you tell me that?"
"A pit full of fire."
"And should you like to fall into that pit, and to be burning there for ever?"
"No, sir."
"What must you do to avoid it?"
I deliberated a moment: my answer, when it did come was objectionable: "I must keep in good health and not die.”
Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

Nerd Fitness Character - Bronte Battle Bog

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I loved what you said about being with your mom is like traveling thru time.  I used to get that with my sisters. I would be so confident in my body and life but once I get with them my "childhood role" of being the "ugly chubby sister" pops in. It's not as bad as it used to be but last week I spent a lot of time with them and I was in a rotten mood couple of days later, I know deep down it was my old anxiety popping in.

 

congrats on keeping your body weight under 200! That's fantastic!  

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"One should eat to live, not live to eat." -Molaire-

"People always forget their hangover" -My dear ol' dad

"People are born to live, while some are born to evolve." 

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I always have a few days following a family visit where I need to emotionally deflate and recenter. I love my family, but it can definitely be a challenge.

 

I listened to that podcast yesterday and holy cow. That is such a powerful message. Thank you thank you for sharing it! I feel like I've been really snobbish about This American Life because everyone who listens to podcasts listen to it, and my inner hipster is all "noooo, can't do the mainstream!" But it really is a phenomenal podcast. 

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1 hour ago, Butternut said:

I loved what you said about being with your mom is like traveling thru time.  I used to get that with my sisters. I would be so confident in my body and life but once I get with them my "childhood role" of being the "ugly chubby sister" pops in. It's not as bad as it used to be but last week I spent a lot of time with them and I was in a rotten mood couple of days later, I know deep down it was my old anxiety popping in.

*raises hand about old anxiety messing up family meetings* It is interesting how long your brain and body can remember how awful childhood was at times.

 

15 minutes ago, durfette said:

everyone who listens to podcasts listen to it, and my inner hipster is all "noooo, can't do the mainstream!"

My dad is that way about books, and I picked it up too. So many of the really popular books I haven't read unless I read them before they got popular and then I'm smug instead. ;) (Not really, only for fun.)

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Introduction (where I started, May 2016) ~*~ NF Character (dormant)

 

 Progress as a Nomad: Battle log where I do my own challenges

Useful posts on my battle log: Useful Links and Travel Schedule, Future Challenge IdeasGoals for 2017 as a whole, Assorted Goals (not on rotation), Elements W1D1, Last Quarter Goals

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1 hour ago, durfette said:

I always have a few days following a family visit where I need to emotionally deflate and recenter. I love my family, but it can definitely be a challenge.

 

I listened to that podcast yesterday and holy cow. That is such a powerful message. Thank you thank you for sharing it! I feel like I've been really snobbish about This American Life because everyone who listens to podcasts listen to it, and my inner hipster is all "noooo, can't do the mainstream!" But it really is a phenomenal podcast. 

 

I'm on this page with family too! I spent this past weekend listening to how much of a brat I was when I was younger and how my husband, "saved" me from this wrong path I was on... Luckily, my family lives too far away for regular visits (8 hours).

 

I enjoyed the podcast for the most part. Although, am I the only person left who doesn't regularly listen to podcasts and had never heard of this one before it was posted?

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2 hours ago, Sylvaa said:

am I the only person left who doesn't regularly listen to podcasts and had never heard of this one before it was posted?

Nope! If podcasts aren't your metaphorical daily bread like some, then it's not weird to not know what it is. 

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4 hours ago, durfette said:

I feel like I've been really snobbish about This American Life because everyone who listens to podcasts listen to it, and my inner hipster is all "noooo, can't do the mainstream!" But it really is a phenomenal podcast. 

 

4 hours ago, Dagger said:

My dad is that way about books, and I picked it up too. So many of the really popular books I haven't read unless I read them before they got popular and then I'm smug instead. ;) (Not really, only for fun.)

 

Haha, this is way too familiar. I don't *mean* to do this, exactly, but it does end up happening. I tend to shy away from books or podcasts or whatever that are the Big Hot Thing Right Now, partially because I am inherently cynical about and annoyed by hype and marketing, and anything that's really popular tends to get a lot of both. Also, I get so sick of hearing about it that my excitement to read/listen never has a chance to germinate. Thankfully someone recommended that episode to me in particular so I listened despite not being a regular listener. I found it very moving. I wonder - what happened to that woman after coming out on mainstream media as being a speed junkie to maintain weight loss? I hope she's okay  :unsure:

 

@Sylvaa I don't think podcasts have really reached mainstream levels by any means, so I'm never surprised when people aren't into them or haven't heard of them. I think they're a niche kind of media, sort of like audiobooks or radio plays. I just looked it up and the Pew Research Center did a survey in 2015 that found 17% of Americans surveyed had listened to at least one podcast in the past month. So not trivial, but definitely not everyone. Most people I know who are into podcasts are giant nerds, so I think there might be some geek culture overlap going on on these forums.

 

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Just now, Severine said:

Haha, this is way too familiar. I don't *mean* to do this, exactly, but it does end up happening. I tend to shy away from books or podcasts or whatever that are the Big Hot Thing Right Now, partially because I am inherently cynical about and annoyed by hype and marketing, and anything that's really popular tends to get a lot of both. Also, I get so sick of hearing about it that my excitement to read/listen never has a chance to germinate. Thankfully someone recommended that episode to me in particular so I listened despite not being a regular listener. I found it very moving. I wonder - what happened to that woman after coming out on mainstream media as being a speed junkie to maintain weight loss? I hope she's okay  :unsure:

 

@Sylvaa I don't think podcasts have really reached mainstream levels by any means, so I'm never surprised when people aren't into them or haven't heard of them. I think they're a niche kind of media, sort of like audiobooks or radio plays. I just looked it up and the Pew Research Center did a survey in 2015 that found 17% of Americans surveyed had listened to at least one podcast in the past month. So not trivial, but definitely not everyone. Most people I know who are into podcasts are giant nerds, so I think there might be some geek culture overlap going on on these forums.

 

 

I'm also a visual learner. Podcasts (or even books on tape) are hard for me, because I can't fully concentrate / pay attention to them. 

 

I also don't pay attention to what is currently the big thing (particularly with books). I find that my tastes are so different than others that I'm usually disappointed. 

 

I have a small rant on the podcast, but I need to figure out how to state the rant without pissing anyone off - I'm not sure if it's possible!

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1 hour ago, Sylvaa said:

I have a small rant on the podcast, but I need to figure out how to state the rant without pissing anyone off - I'm not sure if it's possible!

 

I for one would love to hear it. There were quite a few points on which I disagreed with things some of the podcast guests said, and I had a couple small quibbles with the show producers for the way they framed things (or more specifically, with what I think they tried to convey with the framing) so I'm curious if any of it is the same as what bothered you.

 

And for the record I am very hard to piss off unless you intend to resort to personal attacks or bigoted slurs, both of which seem tremendously unlikely ;)  One of the things I find most interesting about these forums is the chance to see opposing viewpoints intelligently stated and logically, respectfully argued.

 

 

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Oooh now I want to know what everyone has to say. 

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