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Wolverine

The One in Which Wolverine Gets His Shit Together

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WOLVERINE'S MAIN QUEST

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CHALLENGE INTRODUCTION

My step-mom was tired three weeks ago, diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer two weeks ago, and has progressed to stage 4 as of last week. We are a very close with her and our family has been struggling a bit to keep up with the ever worsening news. I’ve completely stopped training and have been eating/drinking instead of feeling, but I’m not going to do anybody any good by self-sabotaging. This challenge is all about getting my shit together so that I’m better able to support my family.

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GOAL 1: MIND

I need a community to be successful, and in many areas of my "real life” I have that community.  Leveling up (particularly physically) is not one of those areas.  My friends and family aren't particularly interested in fitness or nutrition, and without the support, encouragement, and accountability of likeminded individuals I have really floundered. During this challenge, I will re-establish myself in this community; I will reconnect with old friends and take time to make some new ones.

  1. I will post in my personal challenge thread at least 5 times per week.
  2. I will follow and stay active in at least 5 other challenge threads.

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GOAL 2: MOUTH

Beer and donuts have become my crutch the last few weeks; that needs to stop. I’m setting some pretty easy goals for this one as I’d like to build up some good momentum before really diving in. During this challenge, I will regain control of my eating and drinking.

  1. I will track ALL the food I eat EVERY day.
  2. I will eat at least 135 grams of protein every day

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GOAL 3: MUSCLES

Long term goal is to lean out and maintain what mass gains I’ve made over the last few years and then attempt bulking again (hopefully a lot more intelligently next time around!). During this challenge, I will focus on maintaining as much muscle mass as possible as I reduce my calorie intake.

  1. I will train at least five times per week
  2. I will stick with the same program for the duration of the challenge

STARTING STATS

  • Male
  • 34 years old
  • 5 ft. 7 in.
  • Weight TBD
  • Chest TBD
  • Waist TBD
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1 hour ago, wildross said:

There is no therapy like iron therapy.

 

True story. I forget how crappy I feel when I skip it... and my natural inclination when I feel crappy is to skip it... which leads to more crappy. A vicious cycle that will be broken!

 

1 hour ago, Emerald_Dragonfly said:

Agreeing with Wildross. 

 

Sorry about the hurt that you are going through.   We are here for you.  

 

Great goals - what lifting program are you following?   

 

Thanks for the support.  I really appreciate it!

 

My goal for Zero Week is to decide on a program, as I've been bouncing around quite a bit.  Leaning toward GST which, if you haven't heard of it, is most similar to 5/3/1 with accessory work.  Goal is primarily hypertrophy, but I'm having trouble giving up the strength stuff... A generic push/pull/legs is also in contention.

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2 hours ago, wildross said:

There is no therapy like iron therapy.

 

So second. Here for all the supportz and community I don't get IRL either, plus I also want to be Wolverine when I grow up... perhaps we can form a pack. Yes. A pack of Wolverines...

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Sorry to hear about your step-mom, such things are always bullshit. I´m glad to hear your reallife communitys seem to work and adding another community to support yourself and your goals beside surviving your shit reallife, is a great idea.

I share the good wishes with everything

 

P.S.: I love Wolverine and the theme!!! He´s my pc´s background to keep me motivated lifting heavy shit and become pure adamantium ;)

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Sorry to hear about your step mom, sending positive thoughts your way.

Subbing - because we have very similar goals, and everyone needs a little community :)

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9 hours ago, ~RedStone~ said:

So second. Here for all the supportz and community I don't get IRL either, plus I also want to be Wolverine when I grow up... perhaps we can form a pack. Yes. A pack of Wolverines...

 

Our pack shall be angsty but unstoppable!

 

8 hours ago, Elastigirl said:

Sorry about your step mom-that is really tough. I like your plan for getting strong. 

 

Thanks, EG.

 

7 hours ago, SevenofSeven said:

Sorry about your step-mum, however way to go for staying on top of things at this time.

 

Good luck with everything.

 

Thanks, 7o7.  Appreciate it.

 

6 hours ago, BarbarianBassBro said:

Sorry to hear about your step-mom, such things are always bullshit. I´m glad to hear your reallife communitys seem to work and adding another community to support yourself and your goals beside surviving your shit reallife, is a great idea.

 

I share the good wishes with everything

 

P.S.: I love Wolverine and the theme!!! He´s my pc´s background to keep me motivated lifting heavy shit and become pure adamantium ;)

 

Thanks, BBB.  I find (the comic) Wolverine hella motivating.  It's nice having a short guy to look up to. ;)

 

6 hours ago, SpecialSundae said:

I'm really sorry to hear about your step-mom. Hope some iron therapy helps. 

 

Thank you so much. I believe it will... just have to let it.

 

2 hours ago, Laghail said:

Following for the community goals. This stuff is hard, I'll be cheering you man.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Thanks!  My community goal is my favorite, I think.  The one that I think will be the most helpful too.

 

2 hours ago, Saphros said:

Sorry to hear about your step mom, sending positive thoughts your way.

 

Subbing - because we have very similar goals, and everyone needs a little community :)

 

Thanks, Saphros!  I'm off to check out your thread now. :)

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Not yet working on Goal 2 or 3 (saving that for week 1 because, well, I'm wallowing and I'm just gonna be okay with that until Monday), but getting a head start on Goal 1. Many interesting threads this challenge. I'm looking forward to following along!

 

Last night my wife went to visit SM (step-mom) in the hospital. She came home and broke down. It's very frustrating not being able to do anything other than offer a shoulder. I want to fix things, but this is a thing that can't be fixed.

 

SM's day is packed with visitors who sit at her bedside and sometimes talk and sometimes hold her hand. I don't know where I fit in all of this. She's got kids of her own and I'm a "late in life acquisition". I want to see her, talk to her, hold her hand, but I don't want to prevent any of her "real" family from doing the same. My wife is better at this than I am.

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Not yet working on Goal 2 or 3 (saving that for week 1 because, well, I'm wallowing and I'm just gonna be okay with that until Monday), but getting a head start on Goal 1. Many interesting threads this challenge. I'm looking forward to following along!

 

Last night my wife went to visit SM (step-mom) in the hospital. She came home and broke down. It's very frustrating not being able to do anything other than offer a shoulder. I want to fix things, but this is a thing that can't be fixed.

 

SM's day is packed with visitors who sit at her bedside and sometimes talk and sometimes hold her hand. I don't know where I fit in all of this. She's got kids of her own and I'm a "late in life acquisition". I want to see her, talk to her, hold her hand, but I don't want to prevent any of her "real" family from doing the same. My wife is better at this than I am.

Do you ever find it hard to separate feelings of wanting to give care/comfort, and feelings of wanting to be affirmed/included in the family dynamic? Often a struggle for me in related situations.

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1 hour ago, Laghail said:

Do you ever find it hard to separate feelings of wanting to give care/comfort, and feelings of wanting to be affirmed/included in the family dynamic? Often a struggle for me in related situations.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

The same.  

 

Even a bit tougher: I'm a very unemotional stoic person, I just don't show emotion, especially negative emotion and really don't deal well with it in others (it confuses me, I just don't know how to handle it, nearly 40 years on this earth and I still haven't figured it out), I find myself wanting to pretend to be more emotional if for no other reason than to prevent others from being angry at me (which has happened, several family members were pissed that I didn't cry at my fathers funeral and told me as much, I believe some still look down on me because of it to this day (almost 20 years now)). 

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If you feel you need to go and see S-M, just do it! Don't make it a regret for later. You seem to have a good relationship with her, and you are still part of her family as she is a part of yours.

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When I lost my mom, dozens of people came to visit her in her hospital room the day before and the day she died.  It did not bother me to share her - it was evidence of the love she spread in her short time on this earth.  I gave up my seat at her side many, many times and never resented it.   

 

My unsolicited advice - if you want to go hold her hand, go hold her hand.   You love her; let her see that.  

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13 minutes ago, Emerald_Dragonfly said:

When I lost my mom, dozens of people came to visit her in her hospital room the day before and the day she died.  It did not bother me to share her - it was evidence of the love she spread in her short time on this earth.  I gave up my seat at her side many, many times and never resented it.   

 

My unsolicited advice - if you want to go hold her hand, go hold her hand.   You love her; let her see that.  

 

^^ This. Don't resent the actions you never take friend. You care for her, let her, and others know it.

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On 6/10/2016 at 11:09 AM, Laghail said:

Do you ever find it hard to separate feelings of wanting to give care/comfort, and feelings of wanting to be affirmed/included in the family dynamic? Often a struggle for me in related situations.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Yes. Most definitely. Made more complicated now because I want to make sure whatever I do now is for SM and not for me.

 

On 6/10/2016 at 0:34 PM, Waldo said:

 

The same.  

 

Even a bit tougher: I'm a very unemotional stoic person, I just don't show emotion, especially negative emotion and really don't deal well with it in others (it confuses me, I just don't know how to handle it, nearly 40 years on this earth and I still haven't figured it out), I find myself wanting to pretend to be more emotional if for no other reason than to prevent others from being angry at me (which has happened, several family members were pissed that I didn't cry at my fathers funeral and told me as much, I believe some still look down on me because of it to this day (almost 20 years now)). 

 

I felt/feel weird not crying by her bedside and unloading on her ("I just want you to know... blah blah blah...") which seems to be the standard. I dunno. Am I not being emotional enough?  Does she somehow benefit from that?  Like I said above ^^^ I just want to make sure that whatever I do I'm doing it to make HER last bit of life better and not to make ME feel better.

 

On 6/10/2016 at 3:02 PM, SevenofSeven said:

If you feel you need to go and see S-M, just do it! Don't make it a regret for later. You seem to have a good relationship with her, and you are still part of her family as she is a part of yours.

 

Thanks. She's coming home today, hopefully, and I think it'll be easier to see her there than at the hospital.

 

On 6/11/2016 at 11:45 AM, Emerald_Dragonfly said:

When I lost my mom, dozens of people came to visit her in her hospital room the day before and the day she died.  It did not bother me to share her - it was evidence of the love she spread in her short time on this earth.  I gave up my seat at her side many, many times and never resented it.   

 

My unsolicited advice - if you want to go hold her hand, go hold her hand.   You love her; let her see that.  

 

Thanks for sharing that. I think I need to hear it.

 

On 6/11/2016 at 0:00 PM, Saphros said:

 

^^ This. Don't resent the actions you never take friend. You care for her, let her, and others know it.

 

Thanks, S.

 

21 hours ago, Laghail said:

How's the training and calorie tracking over the weekend?

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Shit and shit, but that stops today.  A better update coming momentarily... ;)

 

39 minutes ago, tenaciousglee said:

Here for you, too, bro!

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

Thanks, TG.  Cancer can go jump in a lake... of fire... full of cactus... and fleas...

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First, an SM update...

 

SM is hopefully coming home today.  The tumor (which is causing major internal bleeding) is not responding to chemo and she won't survive the surgery to remove it. Nothing more to do but make her comfortable at home, love her, and wait. It's impossible to predict these things, but I'm guessing she has about a week.  We have a meeting with her docs this afternoon to discuss her care for the next bit.  Hospice is all set up and all the special equipment arrived on Sat/Sun and is all installed; we're all prepared for this thing that no one can truly prepare for... it's weird.  I still can't wrap my mind around her being totally fine a month ago (seriously, she's an avid backpacker, she eats well, she's super positive... we all expected her to outlive us all) and now at death's door.

 

Second, a challenge update...

 

I've been looking forward to today. I'm pretty disgusted with how I've been treating myself and having a specific date to mark the start of a new chapter has been something positive to focus on.  I didn't get starting measurements this morning like I wanted to (today is my son's first day of preschool and we were more rushed than usual!) but I do have my food all tracked through lunch today (planning ahead FTW!).  I'll get around to starting to photos and measurements tomorrow morning, hopefully.

 

My first workout in about a month is tonight. I'm nervous. :o  Starting the new program and committed to it for the duration of the challenge, which doesn't seem like much but Wolverine program commitment time vs. actual program commitment time is like dog years vs. actual years. ;)  I'm secretly hoping to commit until my birthday (November) but that scares the crap out of me so... I'm at least going to give myself a month to try it before taking that particular plunge.

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Hey, glad to see you around! I'll be following along on this one!

 

That's rough, about your step-mom. I think you know we're all here for you.

 

One thing to remember, there's a comfort in just being there. I'll chime in with the rest that if you feel like you should visit, then visit, don't regret the things you didn't do, and showing your love and support in your own way is never the wrong choice. I doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it only matters what's between you and your step-mom.

 

I'm thinking of you, man, and sending positive vibes your way.

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32 minutes ago, obax said:

Hey, glad to see you around! I'll be following along on this one!

 

That's rough, about your step-mom. I think you know we're all here for you.

 

One thing to remember, there's a comfort in just being there. I'll chime in with the rest that if you feel like you should visit, then visit, don't regret the things you didn't do, and showing your love and support in your own way is never the wrong choice. I doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, it only matters what's between you and your step-mom.

 

I'm thinking of you, man, and sending positive vibes your way.

 

Thanks, O!!!  It's good to see you (and be seen!). :) 

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Just checking in to see how things are going. Keep pressing forward. You've got this. We are behind you all the way

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