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Owlet

Harder Better Faster Stronger: The Owlet Edition

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10 hours ago, Owlet said:

I also booked another horse riding lesson for next week eeeeep. Was grinning like a crazy to myself after I hung up the phone, and that never happens!

 

:) That's how I feel when I come back home from acrobatics...

 

10 hours ago, Owlet said:

I think my left arm is quite a bit weaker than my right - it gets really sore when I'm doing wallstands.

 

Or maybe it is stronger and you're leaning more on it than on the other?

 

On 7/7/2016 at 0:09 PM, Owlet said:

Spent a lot of today thinking how annoyed I get by other people being strongly opinionated/cocky/arrogant etc. I guess because I am not so confident myself, I don't oversell myself or my opinions. I'm usually open to the idea that I might be wrong and if someone else is super confident then I kind of assume they know better.

 

This feels familiar. Although, after the years, I've reached the conclusion that the problem is not totally mine. I can always talk about my own thoughts and opinions with people that are respectful and that listen to me, whether they feel the same or not. It is with agressive people or with people that just want to talk to themselves and have no interest on what you have to say that I act like that. So yes, maybe I am not so confident, but I also see the other person has a communication problem, so it is not just me.

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14 hours ago, zenLara said:
On 7/9/2016 at 11:14 AM, Owlet said:

I also booked another horse riding lesson for next week eeeeep. Was grinning like a crazy to myself after I hung up the phone, and that never happens!

 

:) That's how I feel when I come back home from acrobatics...

It's the best! :D  

 

14 hours ago, zenLara said:
On 7/9/2016 at 11:14 AM, Owlet said:

I think my left arm is quite a bit weaker than my right - it gets really sore when I'm doing wallstands.

 

Or maybe it is stronger and you're leaning more on it than on the other?

True, I didn't think of that. I just assumed my left arm would be weaker because I am right handed. Maybe I should set up a camera when I do wallstands to check if I'm leaning to the side.

 

14 hours ago, zenLara said:
On 7/7/2016 at 10:09 PM, Owlet said:

Spent a lot of today thinking how annoyed I get by other people being strongly opinionated/cocky/arrogant etc. I guess because I am not so confident myself, I don't oversell myself or my opinions. I'm usually open to the idea that I might be wrong and if someone else is super confident then I kind of assume they know better.

 

This feels familiar. Although, after the years, I've reached the conclusion that the problem is not totally mine. I can always talk about my own thoughts and opinions with people that are respectful and that listen to me, whether they feel the same or not. It is with agressive people or with people that just want to talk to themselves and have no interest on what you have to say that I act like that. So yes, maybe I am not so confident, but I also see the other person has a communication problem, so it is not just me.

For sure. There are certain people who make me want to argue just because they are so opinionated. It doesn't even matter what my own opinion is, I just want to say the opposite to them to try and get them to see an alternative and to listen for once. I really don't enjoy this but find myself getting sucked in time after time, unless I decide to stop hanging out with that person so much. Whereas other people are quite happy to discuss something with a cool head and be open to new ideas. 

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Was gonna do a challenge roundup but then remembered I haven't finished journalling doh. Dragging myself to my room to do that now...

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OK, done. Phew. Which means it's time for:

 

Challenge Roundup!

 

Fitness Goals: (Faster Stronger!)

  • Complete 1 bodyweight workout per week, with increases in reps or difficulty each week Done.
  • Complete 1 workout incorporating 'animal movements' (Gold Medal Bodies) per week, increase difficulty Done (3/4)
  • Handstand practice 5 days per week, 10 minutes (planking, wall stands to start with) sorta yup. 
  • 1 yoga session per week, either guided or using a video at home Done (3/4)
  • 1 run per week, unless it literally rains every day (not impossible at this time of year)  nope lol
  • Research new workouts, exercises etc, find yoga videos/programs  Done

Pretty happy with this section of the challenge. I didn't increase the difficulty of my workouts as much as I would've liked, but I did improve my form (after researching various aches and pains) so I think this is a good thing. I did notice I hit a bit of a plateau with the bodyweight workouts so thinking, for my next challenge, I might go back to doing these twice a week as well as animal movements. Runs went out of the window all together. A combination of bad/cold weather, not having enough free lunchtimes, and just plain old forgetting to be honest. Not too worried, I have no real desire to be running at the moment and can always get back to it when the weather improves a bit. Research went well, found some new stretches and exercises to help with injuries and avoiding more injuries. Yoga was fun! Although initially dangerous... my shoulder/back is still sore, though I think it's more down to posture now and I'm glad it finally gave me the motivation to go see a physiotherapist about it. Handstand practice was a bit up and down but I really got into it this last week. 

 

Diet Goals: (Harder! less fluff more buff)

  • 4 grain-free dinners per week. Upping this from the 3-per-week I did last challenge Done. 
  • 2 grain-free days per week. While I'm at it, might as well do whole days eh Done
  • track what I'm eating. Because I'm curious and because I think this makes me behave better with my eating. nope, totally forgot again.
  • research diet - I think I eat pretty well, I cook most of my own food and it's pretty healthy. But I'd like to know more about how much protein etc I should be eating, and intermittent fasting and all that kind of stuff.  A little 

Haha I totally forgot to track my food again. I just never got back to it after my routine got disrupted. Beats me how anyone manages to track all their food, let alone calories and macros. Otherwise though, another good challenge. I found the 4 grain-free days a week surprisingly easy, although I gained a KG or so after visiting Dad. I doubt that's totally down to eating bread etc for a few days, I think I've been snacking on bliss balls a little too often... They're just so damn tasty! Tried to research diet stuff and find new recipes but didn't do as much as I would've liked. 

 

Level up your Life Goals: (Better!)

  • Meditate every day, morning and evening. I got out of practice with this during the last challenge Done.
  • In bed by 11pm, lights out by 11:45. Also got out of the habit with this, sleep is not going well lately. Mixed results... 
  • Make an effort to see my friends. This means at least one catch up with a friend every week. I neglected a lot of my friends for the last couple of months as I was flat out painting. I worry about losing them though, and I don't want to be that person who only contacts friends when they need support - I want to be there for my friends when they need support too. Done
  • Start journaling again, specifically about good stuff. I tend to not write unless I am having a bad time, but that means I end up with a book full of pain and hurt and forget all the good stuff. As it is, I tend to remember traumatic stuff far better than happy stuff, which is a bit shit really. I want to concentrate more on being happy. Will try to do this once a week. Done!

Bedtime was the hardest goal to achieve here, surprise surprise. I think it was better than if I hadn't made it a goal, but will definitely be carrying it forward to next challenge to work on some more. Meditation was pretty good, managed to get back on track after disrupting my routine part way through. Friend challenge went really well. Managed to catch up with all of my close friends and some others, just a few left that I need to catch up with. Feeling more connected again :) Journalling made a late appearance in the challenge but I got there! Will carry this goal over to next challenge too. 

 

All in all, I think this challenge went well. I was keen to focus on more physical goals this time around and although there were still some psychological challenges along the way I was able to deal with them one way or another. Even yesterday I had a little hiccough: I was in a really good mood all day and got heaps done, but then crashed badly in the evening. Really tired and emotional and just blahh. Feels like this often happens after being in a good mood which sucks... like being happy actually drains me wtf? Something to keep an eye on I guess. But aside from that, good times. Weight fluctuated a bit - went down then up a again a little ( aside from the minor daily fluctuations) but I'm not too worried since if anything I feel a bit more toned, so maybe it's muscle mass. And if not, I know I can lose it again. 

 

Now I have to work out my next challenge, aghhh...

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It looks like you've got really good results.

Tracking food is the WORST, I hate it. I forget to write things down, or I remember to do it when I've already forgotten what I ate, or I forgot how many of everything I ate... It helped me some time ago to use paleotrack, but only if I delimit tracking to 2-3 weeks tops.

Anyway, good challenge, good work, congratulations and go on, we need more awesomeness! And horse rides!

 

Now that I've looked up what they are I absolutely need to try those bliss balls...

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1 minute ago, zenLara said:

 

Now that I've looked up what they are I absolutely need to try those bliss balls...

Haha oh no! I feel like I just introduced you to hard drugs. Moderation is difficult when it comes to bliss balls :P 

 

Thanks!I shall go forth and ride horses :D 

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Oh heck yes, I just worked out how to upgrade to windows 10, uninstall the driver for my touchpad, download a newer one, install that, and disable the stupid swipe gestures that windows 10 insists on. Now when I swipe I go back/forwards in my browser instead of changing applications. That's enough IT work for tonight, ugh.

 

post-54498-kitty-cat-tiny-computer-lapto

 

I also got rid of 5 pairs of shoes today and glued the sole back on a another pair so I can sell them. I love getting rid of stuff! Guess I didn't inherit the hoarding gene from Dad lol.

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Getting rid of stuff can be so liberating :) And then you have more space for new and really awesome things! Also when I sold my things to some guy I got a date this way, haha, so you can meet people as well (I know you have a bf and are not looking for a date, but imagine how hilarious if it had worked out: I got my bf from ebay)


 

Quote

 

 That and the fact that I was so happy to reconnect with my dad at last, I felt less alone. But part way through the conversation/argument I realised I was physically shaking, my heart was racing, I was in full panic mode and couldn't stop crying all afternoon. And that kind of physical reaction scares me. It makes no logical sense to my brain, but my emotions are on a whole different wave length. 


 

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! I didn't know it was that bad. Glad to read you're better now! It's so difficult with family and feelings, and sometimes our brains/bodies surprise us with outbreaks and tears when we thought we would react differently. I had to learn that my Dad can't provide a certain kind of support and never will. I mistook it for him not being interested, maybe he isn't to a degree, maybe he is overwhelmed, I don't know, but I think he simply can't show his feelings well and shows he cares in different ways. He's there when I have a technical question and he's super generous and tolerant and cool, but whenever it gets serious or emotional, he withdraws. Until today I have no idea if he is happy when I visit him or not. On one hand he fetches me from the train station, fills the fridge with things I like (he remembered them and buys them and takes care), he fills up the car, he puts on fresh bedsheets, but then he's hardly there, and we almost never interact in any way. It's difficult. Guess only because people are family doesn't mean the relationship is easy.

 

I hope you are doing fine right now and get all done you want to be done :) Enjoy the new week and your new horse riding lesson. Or just riding. Cutting corners sounded so familiar :D 

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I love getting rid of stuff so much! Especially because I always seem to have a small bedroom, whichever house I live in ('cause damn, rent is expensive!) Haha that's so funny you got a date, imagine telling you grandparents you found him on ebay! I'll bear it in mind should the need arise lol.

 

On 7/11/2016 at 4:22 AM, Pyralis said:

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that! I didn't know it was that bad. Glad to read you're better now! It's so difficult with family and feelings, and sometimes our brains/bodies surprise us with outbreaks and tears when we thought we would react differently.

Yeah totally, it sucks when your body won't behave itself! Definitely feeling better now thanks, I just react really badly to conflict (doesn't even need to be a raging argument, just a heated discussion can get me worked up, or a stern word from a co-worker etc) It makes no logical sense to me, I mean I actually like the idea of a heated discussion, they're usually pretty interesting. But I get so frustrated that I can never seem to articulate properly what I'm thinking, or the other person doesn't want to listen or take me seriously, and then it stops being fun and I start feeling attacked. I dunno, maybe I just need to practice arguing more, get desensitised to it or something. Not so I can go looking for it but just cope better when it inevitably arrises. 

 

On 7/11/2016 at 4:22 AM, Pyralis said:

On one hand he fetches me from the train station, fills the fridge with things I like (he remembered them and buys them and takes care), he fills up the car, he puts on fresh bedsheets, but then he's hardly there, and we almost never interact in any way. It's difficult. Guess only because people are family doesn't mean the relationship is easy.

Naw, sounds like he really enjoys your visits and wants to make sure you are happy even if he can't quite express all that. He sounds a bit like my mum used to be. She would always shy away from anything sensitive or emotional. I didn't tell her for ages when I was depressed because the odd comment I'd made about feeling down just got a "chin up, put a smile on" kind of response. And I was totally resigned to not being able to rely on her for support. But when she realised how bad it was she was actually really good and I felt silly for thinking she didn't care. I think our parents always care, even if they don't always know how to show it. 

 

On 7/11/2016 at 4:22 AM, Pyralis said:

whenever it gets serious or emotional, he withdraws. Until today I have no idea if he is happy when I visit him or not

My family is very much like this too lol. We never used to talk about anything emotional and it made it really hard for me to open up to people and ask for help. Mum would always cut a conversation short, making a joke about it getting too serious. And Dad would ask questions but not about anything sensitive, and never talk about himself. Funnily enough, it was when my parents split up that they finally started being very open and talking about everything (too much sometimes!) and it was a relief to finally have good honest, open, adult relationships with them. It was a shit situation of course, but we all learnt a lot and seem to be better people for it. 

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For the love of god. It says I'm following you but I swear I dont get notifications every time someone posts here. Hooray for everything you've done! You can totally come by and get rid of my stuff when you're done with your own. :)

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8 hours ago, fleaball said:

For the love of god. It says I'm following you but I swear I dont get notifications every time someone posts here. Hooray for everything you've done! You can totally come by and get rid of my stuff when you're done with your own. :)

 

NF does this to me with flea's thread too. So rude. 

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10 hours ago, Butternut said:

Owlet.... You inspire me with your accomplishments.  Thank you. 

Yay! Stoked to provide any possible inspiration!Thanks :) 

 

11 minutes ago, NeverThatBored said:
8 hours ago, fleaball said:

For the love of god. It says I'm following you but I swear I dont get notifications every time someone posts here. Hooray for everything you've done! You can totally come by and get rid of my stuff when you're done with your own. :)

 

NF does this to me with flea's thread too. So rude. 

Dammit NF! So glitchy. But still so great. 

 

Haha cool I will get rid of my stuff and come get rid of yours then shout at the kids to get off the lawn ;) I won't be able to chase them afterall, my legs are destroyed after horse riding again lol. Super stoked I've got my brother's car this week and was able to drive to the riding place... it is waay to rainy and windy to be driving a scooter safely. 

 

New thread coming soon... just as soon as I work out what I want to do... gah, effort, thought... yeah nah. Here's a cute rabbit instead:

tumblr_inline_mgrsx3BXdu1rxc4n0.gif

That's about as much running as I am capable of right now XD

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On 12.7.2016 at 11:45 AM, Owlet said:

 And Dad would [...]never talk about himself. 

 

Yeah, I know this. Since I'm a child, in summer we usually sit outside on a swing together. He sips beer and I draw or just sit. Sometimes until 2 in the morning. We don't always talk during that.  

 

So last year I asked him about his studies and thesis, hoping to get advice, support, inspiration. He took long to finish his studies as well, but he didn't have..issues, like me. And if he did, he doesn't tell me, or probably doesn't know himself. His way to deal with things is very grown-up at the one hand and super immature at the other. Like he's not really aware of emotions or underlying problems and just deals in a very pragmatic way with stuff.

 

Whenever he tells me one of his insights or when I get a glimpse of what he thinks how to deal with life, I end up a bit bewildered, lol. I always thought he's so deep and must have precious insights or inspiration, a secret of how he became successful in life, how he did stuff, how he dealt with struggles. 

But there is nothing and he doesn't seem interested in it as well. He never paid attention to these kind of things. 

He could talk forever about physics and black holes and theory stuff, he wrote a few short stories, it's not like he doesn't think beyond a certain border, it's just that these areas simply don't seem to concern him. That leads to a few super childish behaviors of him, sadly partially concerning his health, and sometimes I got and get the impression  that him and my Mom simply don't want to work on themselves consciously and are always looking for easy ways out in some areas. Maybe it's the generation or the family. They all hardly self-reflect. I gave up on trying to talk about these things. The support I get from my family (besides my brother who is around my age) is on a level of motivational coffee table books. 

 

:)

 

 

 

 

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16 hours ago, Pyralis said:

that him and my Mom simply don't want to work on themselves consciously and are always looking for easy ways out in some areas. Maybe it's the generation or the family.

 

Most of people I know are like them. I mean, it seems pretty common. Aside from NF, I don't know many people that take the effort of improving their lives or changing things. Most want to, but never take the step. Or they take a few and crawl back to where they were, scared of change.

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I have so much RAGE right now. Thanks windows 10. Not only am I forced to update my computer every time I restart it, it also takes the liberty of inserting a random picture into the folder I use on slideshow setting for my desktop pictures. It is now a 3d model of a hairless man's face. It's weird and intrusive. It also undid all my hard work updating the driver for my trackpad so once again, all my gestures are messed up. Grrrr. So I'm spending my evening  trying to fix this instead of doing something more interesting or productive Ok I fixed it. But it took over an hour and required many many restarts, uninstallation, reinstallation, frustration raaaawghhh. But we're back in business. I will never work in IT that's for sure XD 

 

Now where was I... 

17 hours ago, Pyralis said:

Since I'm a child, in summer we usually sit outside on a swing together. He sips beer and I draw or just sit. Sometimes until 2 in the morning. We don't always talk during that.  

Aww that sounds rather lovely :) Sometimes talking isn't needed, just being with someone is nice. I know what you mean though about wanting a bit more, like when you asked about his studies. I dunno, either he is very private about his personal matters or he just never had any need to think too deeply about emotional things. I sometimes think it would be quite nice to be like that, and not be tormented by my over-active mind. But the fact I am makes it easy to empathise with and hopefully help other people. There's always two sides of the coin. 

 

 

1 hour ago, zenLara said:
17 hours ago, Pyralis said:

that him and my Mom simply don't want to work on themselves consciously and are always looking for easy ways out in some areas. Maybe it's the generation or the family.

 

Most of people I know are like them. I mean, it seems pretty common. Aside from NF, I don't know many people that take the effort of improving their lives or changing things. Most want to, but never take the step. Or they take a few and crawl back to where they were, scared of change.

 

Yeah totally! Usually the things you could benefit the most from changing/improving are also the hardest to change. Not many people are prepared to stick with it. There's this attitude of, if a thing is too hard then it's 'obviously just not meant to be'. But really, if it's something deeply imbedded in your personality, of course it's going to be hard and full of obstacles. That doesn't mean you shouldn't do it. This is exactly why I started practicing Buddhism - it was the only place I'd encountered people who actively work to improve themselves. There is no fear of hard work because, ultimately, it leads to greater joy :) I get that this is an unusual attitude though and you can't expect everyone to appreciate it. 

 

Still pondering my next challenge. I really need to work on improving my posture so I don't keep getting sore and injured. Not really sure how to make actual goals to achieve this though. Set a timer to remind me maybe? hmm... 

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6 hours ago, Owlet said:

Still pondering my next challenge. I really need to work on improving my posture so I don't keep getting sore and injured. Not really sure how to make actual goals to achieve this though. Set a timer to remind me maybe? hmm...

 

Maybe that combined with some yoga videos focused on posture? I find that sitting on a stool / the front edge of the chair instead of sitting all the way back helps with posture. Also, sitting on the ground. 

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15 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

Maybe that combined with some yoga videos focused on posture? I find that sitting on a stool / the front edge of the chair instead of sitting all the way back helps with posture. Also, sitting on the ground. 

Yeah good idea! I looked at a few articles today, both yoga and stretching/exercises. I think if I can get together a few good ones to make a routine and do these each day that would be a good start. 

 

Sitting at the front of my chair definitely helps keep my back straight, but I'm getting a really sore left shoulder. I think it's just that the muscles I need to use to pull my shoulders back are really weak from years (my whole life probably) of slouching with rounded shoulders. So now it hurts whether I sit up straight or slouch. But I really need to fix this once and for all so I'm going to keep looking into it. 

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