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Alexandrite Does It All For Stardew


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This guilt sounds exactly how things have gone on my end and honestly you have to tell yourself, sometimes out loud, "it's ok. I forgive you." An old Chinese proverb states that to feel guilt is to be guiltless. It's not saying by feeling it alone you are absolved but that the fact that you do feel it means you're on a proper path that even cares about your own actions. And in this case we are only responsible for so much of what our chemical driven bodies can do and it's ok to be upset even with all of your blessings. God doesn't expect us to stoically accept all things, we have to grow through them. And sometimes growth hurts.

Crying is a fantastic relief measure, it's actually been factually found to relieve stress when you cry on a chemical level.

Overall though just know you've got a small contingent of mommas out here sending love, hugs, and much more. The hormones and their effects suck, but this too shall pass!

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Tues was much much much better:

Laundry - 5

Yard work - 5

Mail/office papers - 5

WaniKani - 5

Played game - 90 min

Bank - 5

I did get some game time in today which helped me feel better, but the biggest thing was Dr. Focker asked me how I was doing and I was finally rational enough to talk to him about me feel depressed and overwhelmed. I told him I just needed him home to help me sort through what is going on. So he texted his boss, had some patients not show, and suddenly his day was open! He came home at 11 for a long lunch, took me out for food with the kids, let me walk in a little boutique for a few minutes without anyone, and then helped me get kids down for nap. Then he went back to work and came home early at 4pm to spend time with us. Then later on my aunt came over and held the baby and played with him (aka kept him from sleeping, yay!) so I could eat dinner and get mail all sorted. And I didnt feel behind because he slept when I slept instead of falling asleep while I am awake. =)

I didn't get to address some major anxiety stuff coming up with planned events or guests, or finances, but I feel much better anyway. And Dr. Focker asked his mother to come over to our house to watch the older two kids so I can go to an appt (take the baby with me). Saving grace right there, the older kids are ALL hands when we go to dr appts. Now I wont be so stressed.

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Wed:

I had an eye appt in the morning and then had to do the 30 min drive x 4 for dog grooming, and also took kids to workplace to have lunch with Dr. Focker. It was a busy day.

Bills - 5

Laundry - 5

WaniKani - 5

Social points (lunch) - 5

Played game - 30

Today :

Lawn prep for being gone this weekend - 5

Food meal stuff x 2 - 10

Errands - 5

WaniKani - 5

Game time - 30

As you can tell, no success this week doing regular squats. I dont enjoy the way they make my knees feel after. I am going to reread Bowman's stuff and see if there is a mod I can do to get the benefit without stressing my knees so much. And need to strengthen knees somehow...

We leave tomorrow right after work, going to be a busy weekend with the holiday and all so not sure I will check in. Definitely no gaming since it is on my home comp and I cant download it on anything else portable (all my other tech is too old).

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Asked Dr. Focker about knees, he said dont go so deep in squats, stop going down before it hurts me. I am going to say this challenge that weekends are skips because I just have too much going on.

Friday was crazy and exhausting. But we made it to my family's house before midnight so big improvement. I did so much for getting ready for trip I am just going to call it good. I owe myself some good play time when I get back.

Some final notes - I am a slug when I get around guests that are family. I just dont go do things or work out at all around them. Yesterday I spent the majority of the time during a small party holding my niece so my brother wouldnt put her back in her car seat, because he was too tired to hold her apparently. It is his first child, so I feel torn about how much to say/interfere to him about stuff he needs to change for her sake. I gave her a bath because she spits up like crazy and we both smelled bad after a while from it all (I think she might be intolerant of the formula they are feeding her, but my breastfed son spits up too so who knows). Aaaaaaanyway. I love my brother and I know he loves his daughter, he is doing the best he can or is aware of right now. If I lived closer I would totally watch her during the day.

The chicken coop is on our trailer ready to go home with us. They didn't have to take it apart! Woo hoo!

Finding Dory was totally worth it, absolutely adorable, and a lot of fun.

We head home on Monday. Cheers to Dr. Focker and me for avoiding the horrible "let's go shopping and buy stuff because it is the 4th and there are 'big sales' to be had" habit. We made the financially wise decision to wait, because there is nothing we truly *need* right now, except some bedding and towels, which I can order online with the same coupons.

We heard from our Japanese exchange student! Very excited to get in touch with her. =)

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Super exciting on the exchange student! And ugh squats. I'm convinced my form will never improve and I hate hearing to not go deep enough into the squat to hurt the knees. Keep telling myself "hey itll progress quicker if you get the form" but I'm so impatient I down myself every time as I don't sink into it like the pictures show.

Finding Dory! Was super cute for sure too. And chicken coop success! Well shoot a lot of good things going on here so I'll just give one big lump "cheer" for all of it; Yay all of the things!!!

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Well, weekend is over and we made it home safely (after many stops and macgyvering) with the chicken coop. And a mens bike. And a kids sand box. And a kids sink. All for free, haha.

I didnt do much in the way of physical fitness. If ever there were a time to apply that saying "eat like a -enter appropriate idiot word here-" then this weekend would be it. Muffins and cinnamon rolls were consumed at least 4 or 5 times each day. Ate cake, and homemade icecream, and "snacks" of all kinds of not good for me foods. Mostly stayed away from watching too much tv (we went and saw Finding Dory in theater though, that was a real treat!) But I sat around a lot talking and relaxing.

So I guess I earned some social points this weekend. I did bills before I left on Friday, and cleaned rooms too, so those count. I did WaniKani here and there. I even tried to do a date night but Dr. Focker was too tired to go out and the kids werent asleep on time like they were supposed to be so it didnt work out.

Overall it went extremely well and we had a lot of fun celebrating a birthday and the 4th.

Today has been all about catching up, putting crapton of stuff and costco shopping away, and trying to get our heads wrapped around what needs to get done in the next month before our exchange student arrives. The kids both asked to move their beds back upstairs. Dr. Focker acquiesced. So their downstairs room will now become the office/play room. At least I dont have to carry a ton of heavy crap upstairs from the office anymore. And I can always have my "library" another time. =)

Onward to the rest of today! I have high hopes for this week.

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Tues ended up being great overall, I got a lot of things done and made two home cooked meals, and cared for three kids. I have been so low on sleep lately though. Part of it has to do with staying up past kids sleep time at 9pm so Dr. Focker and I can talk. But really I am just nursing an infant, let's be real here.

Wed was a catch up day. Had to smooth over some difficulties between Dr. Focker and I regarding expectations for a perfect clean home, which isnt going to happen. Much better now. Another day full of getting crap done. I even put on movies for the kids and fell asleep for a nap with Freibird! Too bad it didnt put me anywhere ahead. So tired again.

Played the farm game for about 90 min, that cheered me up a bit and kept me going. Nothing in bank now.

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I have been super tired this week too. Maybe it's because it's the middle of summer and our bodies think there should be siestas every afternoon. I've been doing the "new mom fight" about whether to nap with baby or actually get work done (whether it's work-work of house-work)... Exhausting! I so empathize! 

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Wooooooooot Time!!!!

I finished all, ALL, of the thank you cards for the giving from Samaritan Ministries. Wrote 25 in one day! Mailed them off today. I feel so good. Earned a bonus!

I think I might even be able to earn the WaniKani bonus, as I am very close to leveling up in it!

Still no squats on a regular basis. But I started stretching in the morning right after I get up, and I'm not as desperately hungry first thing in the morning if I eat my midnight snack. The snack thing will have to be figured out another time... large poppyseed muffins are easy to eat and stay quiet so I don't wake anyone up.

Hmm. Challenge is coming to a close. Overall, I have been surviving and in some cases thriving. There are big things coming in August - exchange student moving in, three week road trip to CA, my birthday, little O's birthday. I'm thinking that the easy answer would be to skip next challenge, but it would be best if I continued to use my gaming motivation because it is successful in keeping me going. I stay on task better and get more done with clear goals and tasks.

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Time to wrap this challenge up:

Growing - Totally failed on this one, pretty much. My garden in real life looks about as sad and weedy and in need of care as my garden for this challenge would. I just have not figured out how to stick to consistent daily grind over short bursts of one time tasks.

Clearing - This was very successful. I regularly stayed on top of chores and cleaning because I wanted more game time. I also forced myself to complete adulting activities before indulging in game time. I also earned the bonus on this one as we went out on a dessert run this week and had some time as a little date. Overall I just need to come up with a better master list of things that need doing.

Friending - I didnt end up doing much of any playdates or get togethers, unless you count going to see my family in Idaho. I did earn the awesome bonus by completing the thank you cards for the baby arrival and giving through Samaritan Ministries. Honestly it is hard in the summer to get together with anyone, and there is so much to do at home I am not motivated to leave. Plus taking three kids anywhere is a task, and parks are not the best for me right now since I can't babywear Freibird, hold on to Ev, and chase down and drag Little O to the car all at the same time safely. Haha...

Learning - as always my sponge brain has no problem wanting to learn stuff, so my tendency to research and read up on things was on overdrive. I almost earned the bonus on this one, I am just a couple days away from leveling up to lvl 7 in WaniKani, and I cleared all my reviews (backlog of 250+ when I started).

I didnt end up doing the physical bank, it was too much work to set up and I had too much going on. But the time tally was nice. Towards the end I didnt enjoy reporting back everything I did individually. It took too much time that I didnt have. I have just enough time between taking care of kids and such to report generally like this. Plus my memory is shot by the end of day or middle of night and I cant remember it all...

Overall a good challenge but still having trouble with feeling exhausted and lack of sleep so not wanting to work out or do anything extra physically. Which doesnt stop me from trying to weed and garden. Oh well.

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6 hours ago, Alexandrite said:

I just have not figured out how to stick to consistent daily grind over short bursts of one time tasks.

Boy that is a hard one, especially with a brain type that shuts down during monotonous tasks and thrives on new and interesting more than other people's. If you find a good answer, please share, but personally I think we need to play to our strengths and that isn't one of them. Flexibility and bursts used to accomplish those daily tasks? I think given the success of your reward system, you might want to look into more bribery. It sure seems like you did great with your game rewards this round! 

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I wish I could help you!!  I had postpartum with both my kids, really bad with my first.  I still remember waking up about 15 months after my daughter was born and crying because I finally felt normal again.  If you need to go see a doctor and get some help please, please do.  Sleep will help a lot.  If anyone offers to watch the babies so you can grab an hour of sleep...take it.

 

You are doing great! Take comfort in knowing that you are always trying to do your very best.  Sometimes that is all we can do.

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