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Re: Baby steps, baby.


durfette

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I love that you have such a comprehensive list of lessons learned! <3 Even if some of those lessons are really hard, it's good to be conscious of them. 

 

Have you tried making a "self care" list? Something small you can refer to when you're having a particularly bad day? List entries could be things you enjoy doing, things that de-stress you, that sort of thing. I googled some that might make more sense than my rambling. :3  

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12 hours ago, deathbyshiny said:

Have you tried making a "self care" list? Something small you can refer to when you're having a particularly bad day?

This is such a good idea! Thank you! I feel like a lot of the time when I'm feeling anxious or whatever I'm chest-deep in emotional muck and can't think straight of ways to get out. I think this would help! 

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5 minutes ago, durfette said:

This is such a good idea! Thank you! I feel like a lot of the time when I'm feeling anxious or whatever I'm chest-deep in emotional muck and can't think straight of ways to get out. I think this would help! 

It doesn't hurt to try! And the good thing about it is you can make it about you. Think about what you enjoy and what calms you down, and there it is! :D

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Thanks for sharing that list! It was really interesting, and some of it is familiar to me.

 

For avoiding binge eating thing, one thing that I find can be a really effective substitute comfort for me is a nice pot of tea. I absolutely love tea, and I have a really comforting tea setup at home with a favourite mug, a favourite teapot, and over a dozen different interesting varieties of loose tea. It feels pleasurable and indulgent but obviously doesn't sabotage my nutritional goals. It doesn't *always* work (sometimes I also want chocolate to go with the tea) but it works often enough to be a very powerful ally. Other ideas: gum or any mint/hard candy that takes a really long time to suck on. 

 

I love making lists too, btw. It's one of my main ways to manage my anxiety and keep procrastination under control. I use an app (Todoist) and my family uses it too, so when they need me to do a specific task for them like mend a button, I have them add it to my list using the shared list feature. I also use the daily/weekly recurring tasks to remind myself of personal goals I'm trying to work on, like tracking food or going to bed at a certain time or emailing my grandmother.

 

More later but houseguests just arrived!

 

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Durfette, right on with your goals! 

 

Its its sounds like you had/have a lot of stress to handle, but what's awesome is your aware of HOW your dealing with it and you want to make a change.

 

deathbyshiny I'm taking that self-care list.

 

binge eating for me, I like to write down how I feel afterwards or how I feel the next day.

 

for my husband, when he has the urge he grabs a glass of ice cold water. He says it makes him stop and think, sometimes he'll still grab food but it won't be as much. 

 

I like severines tea idea, it probably works to when you have it set up. And drinking tea is like mediating, for me it sets me in the present moment.

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Wow, you've really been through a lot of tough spots in a short amount of time.

The great part is, that you've been putting your fingers on the spots were you can start working on them.

 

This Emergencylist really is something and I would allways second the tea idea. The smell, the taste, the warms and the preparation allready are a great package, preferable in a spot you enjoy.

 

When things are getting out of hand you could try to work with triggers like a specific smell, taste or texture you usually dislike; like chili/cinnamon gum, a massagering or unusual wristband or smells like vinnegard, rapsody, again cinnamon. It depends what you usually have around yourself. But I am borrowing this from a friends anger management I don't know how good that might work in your situation.

 

Personally I start moving if things re getting too much like taking a walk for an hour or two, doing physicalwork like digging up the garden (or digging out roots of a clear-cut tree), monotonous tasks worked as well.

 

Unfortunately it's different for everybody best way to find out what works for you is trying out different things.

 

I hope you will find some ways to cope with the situation and come out ahead.

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You all are wonderful! Thank you! So tea, water (this I have tried and it does help!), write down feeling after eating a truckload of junk, self-care list. I'll have to incorporate this into my next challenge somehow... still trying to work that one out.

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Okay the second part of my post: just wanted to say that I think your reflectiveness is really valuable and admirable. You were faced with a really difficult month and you handled it admirably, and you're honest with yourself about what could have been better and you're working toward improvement and insight instead of getting down on yourself for things not going according to plan.

 

One thing that might help cope with future crises is to have a sort of fallback plan - as in, stop worrying about fitness goals or whatever, but have a core of behaviours that are essential for self-care and health (and thus essential for coping well with an emergency) and make them non-negotiable. For example, my goals for health in a crisis might be something like: eat 3 meals every day, sleep at least 6 hours, and try to get at least a 20 minute walk. Definitely not my actual goals when things are going well, but it's basic stuff that's easy to ignore when things are crazy.

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@Severine Having a system of self-care for emergency situations is a fabulous idea. Thank you so much for your specific examples! I will definitely start coming up with something similar. I think sleep has to be a major part of that one for me, because I stop functioning if I don't get enough sleep. I think I'll have that to be my number one self-care tactic. Your support is so encouraging!

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By the way, I love the Maya Angelou quotation in your sig. It's a succinct eloquent summary of the sane and humble way to approach self-improvement and life in general. I smile every time I notice it. Such a wise woman.

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8 hours ago, Severine said:

By the way, I love the Maya Angelou quotation in your sig. It's a succinct eloquent summary of the sane and humble way to approach self-improvement and life in general. I smile every time I notice it. Such a wise woman.

Right? I'm currently reading her "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" and I am blown away by her. 

Do the best you can until you know better. When you know better, do better. (Maya Angelou)

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