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CourtneyC Stays Grounded


courtneyc

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Big life stuff is happening.

 

First and most exciting! That tournament I had the other weekend? My very first one ever? I placed first in my division. :) I'm just a teeny tiny bit thrilled about that. Even if I hadn't won, it would have been a fantastic experience to be there with my team to support one another and be supported. But winning took it right over the top. :) I stayed calm, composed, and patient. That was the biggest victory (I think) for my first competition. 

 

Now for the less thrilling life stuff. After a lot of deliberation my husband and I have decided to separate. It's a good call I think, and neither of us are a mess over the decision. It does mean a lot of life changes though, and some, like job hunting for me, are more anxiety-inducing than others. 

 

Some days my focus isn't great, which I suppose is to be expected. So, this challenge is all about taking small, positive steps each day/week to keep myself focused and acknowledging the good things I do. Because the toughest part about finding a job is that so much of the process is outside of my control.

 

Goals

 

  • Apply to 2 positions per week
  • Track calories daily
  • Find something beautiful each day and share it (either here or with someone)
  • Do one thing from the following list per day
    • Journal
    • Creative writing prompt or story progress
    • Make something for the fun of it
    • Have a social outing
    • Do something fun with my daughter

 

No points involved. Just regular check-ins to keep me positive and moving forward.

  • Like 3

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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Geez, many changes for you this time, huh? Wow.

 

I'm sorry that you're going through a separation right now. Even if you both agree it's for the best, it still sucks to go through. And you'll have to find that job, then, too, and the hurry up and wait of that is never fun to experience. I have no wise words for that, unfortunately.

 

Also: hey, way to make it through the tournament! Not only comporting yourself well, but also placing first! That's gotta excite you for further tournament play, I'm sure. :D

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Hey Courtney, first off, congrats on doing so well in your tournament. Sorry I have been absent the last few challenges but you are my BJJ doppleganger and I am proud of you! 

 

So sorry to hear about the separation. Just to echo Kishi's sentiment, even if it is for the best, it still sucks. It's always harder with kids involved as well. I am sending good thoughts your way and hope that everything will be alright in the end. 

 

Stay in touch! 

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7 hours ago, Kishi said:

Geez, many changes for you this time, huh? Wow.

 

I'm sorry that you're going through a separation right now. Even if you both agree it's for the best, it still sucks to go through. And you'll have to find that job, then, too, and the hurry up and wait of that is never fun to experience. I have no wise words for that, unfortunately.

 

Also: hey, way to make it through the tournament! Not only comporting yourself well, but also placing first! That's gotta excite you for further tournament play, I'm sure. :D

 

It's really a day by day sort of thing. Today has been good. I will take tomorrow for whatever it is and try to make the best of it.

 

Thanks!! I'm both excited for and a little daunted by the prospect for additional competitions. Right now, I'm happy to enjoy rolling and training in a more playful fashion.

 

5 hours ago, 'BoutThatActionBoss said:

Hey Courtney, first off, congrats on doing so well in your tournament. Sorry I have been absent the last few challenges but you are my BJJ doppleganger and I am proud of you! 

 

So sorry to hear about the separation. Just to echo Kishi's sentiment, even if it is for the best, it still sucks. It's always harder with kids involved as well. I am sending good thoughts your way and hope that everything will be alright in the end. 

 

Stay in touch! 

 

Thanks! It is always great to see you around the boards! :) 

 

You are awesome as always, and the support is much appreciated.

 

Day 1

 

Off to a good start so far. I'm putting together an application to law firm that hires people to transcribe court cases...did a little type testing today and established that I type 70 wpm at 97% accuracy which is on par with professional typists. So yay for me.

 

Double good things today: I saw a really cool plant with seedpods that are flat circles while walking home with my daughter from school. The pods were so thin they reminded me of stained glass. I pointed them out to Grace, and she thought they were as fantastic as I did. It's also evaluations week at my studio. Since I'm only up for a tape stripe, I feel super calm and can just enjoy participating in matches and the general festive nature of the week. It was a good day. :)

  • Like 1

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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46 minutes ago, 'BoutThatActionBoss said:

Nice start Courtney! Keep it up! 

 

I may do a BJJ tournament in August with the old white belts. Any hints for someone thinking of doing their first comp?!? 

 

Do it! You'll have such a great time. My biggest takeaway was the importance of endurance. You have to learn to pace yourself for multiple intense rolls, and depending on whether you compete for points or submission only the rounds might be longer than what you're accustomed to in your usual open mat sessions. Focusing on keeping your breathing calm will help keep you calm so you can be technical and not spazzy. :) 

  • Like 1

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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Endurance, ok cool. BJJ is so crazy intense, even just a hard roll in class can mess me up, I don't know how I will do during a tournament. My gym will be having optional Sunday open mat, so I may start going to that to get used to free rolls. I also hope they have a beginner category for old white belts, I would not love being thrown in against a super fit 23 year old. 

 

Thanks for the advice! I will keep ya posted! 

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On 6/13/2016 at 11:13 AM, courtneyc said:

First and most exciting! That tournament I had the other weekend? My very first one ever? I placed first in my division. :) I'm just a teeny tiny bit thrilled about that. Even if I hadn't won, it would have been a fantastic experience to be there with my team to support one another and be supported. But winning took it right over the top. :) I stayed calm, composed, and patient. That was the biggest victory (I think) for my first competition. 

 

Oss!  Super proud of you for competing, let alone winning!!! Way to go.  Just reading your thread made me mad I skipped class tonight to rest up...

 

It's been a bit so I don;t remember if I ever asked what school/affiliate you train at?

“It’s the sensible, logical thing to do, of course, which is why we don’t do it.” -Tanis, Dragons of Autumn Twilight

"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it." - Raistlin - Dragons of Autumn Twilight

Current Challenge

 

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11 hours ago, 'BoutThatActionBoss said:

Endurance, ok cool. BJJ is so crazy intense, even just a hard roll in class can mess me up, I don't know how I will do during a tournament. My gym will be having optional Sunday open mat, so I may start going to that to get used to free rolls. I also hope they have a beginner category for old white belts, I would not love being thrown in against a super fit 23 year old. 

 

Thanks for the advice! I will keep ya posted! 

 

The trick is to conserve even when you roll hard. So, learn how to have good defense and use explosiveness strategically. You will naturally feel panicky and like you have no time to think, but if you focus on staying safe, you will find you do in fact have time to think. The other thing the helped me a lot was to have a game plan of sorts...a couple submissions I'm strongest with along with go to escapes for the major positions you might get stuck in.

 

1 hour ago, mitch_dee said:

 

Oss!  Super proud of you for competing, let alone winning!!! Way to go.  Just reading your thread made me mad I skipped class tonight to rest up...

 

It's been a bit so I don;t remember if I ever asked what school/affiliate you train at?

 

Thanks! Never skip BJJ...you think you're not in the mood, but you're always so happy by the end of class.

 

I train at an awesome school in Maryland called Clinch Academy.

 

Week 1 Update

 

It has been a fabulous week. I'm tracking again, got a job application submitted today, and had so much fun at class tonight. Evaluations feel extra fun this time around, and I'm not sure exactly why, but I won't complain. :)

 

There were many things that brought me joy today, but my chosen one for this Wednesday is taking a small cutting of spray roses from the garden after the rain let up this morning. I put them in my tiniest glass vase on the windowsill above my kitchen sink and love them.

  • Like 2

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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Cool, thanks for the advice. I totally understand the temptation to spaz out, but you're right, it has to be a controlled explosiveness. I don't have any go-to submissions yet, but I got someone in a nice paintbrush the other night and am stoked on that. 

 

Glad to hear that week 1 was going well for you! Good luck with everything! I hope you get a job ASAP. 

 

Keep rolling! 

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You guys are awesome. :) Thanks for all the encouragement!

 

Had another solid day. Applied for yet another job, celebrated the end of kindergarten with my daughter, and got to enjoy the nice weather. The only thing missing from my day was BJJ, but, alas, the studio was closed tonight to prep for the promotions ceremony early tomorrow morning. It is probably for the best that the option to train wasn't there. Yesterday, I felt something pop in one foot and was in a lot of pain. It's still sore today with limited movement of the big toe. *fingers crossed* A couple days of rest should have it in decent shape for Monday evening class.

  • Like 1

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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24 minutes ago, 'BoutThatActionBoss said:

How's the foot? I have been running a lot lately and seemed to have strained something in my foot. Insert sad emoji here. 

 

I hope you're foot is way better! 

 

Foot is getting better, though I haven't been great about taking care of it. Someone was interested in sparring at open mat on Saturday, and I took an elbow to the top/ankle region. The bruising is impressive.

 

I'd much rather us be bjj/nerd fitness buddies than injuries buddies. Feel better soon!

  • Like 2

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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On 6/21/2016 at 3:32 PM, 'BoutThatActionBoss said:

Glad the foot is healing! Foot stuff can linger, but let's hope our feet 'heel' quickly. 

 

Having bruises to show off is kinda cool though, right? As long as they aren't too bad? 

 

Ooo...that's very punny.

 

I bruise easily. These days it seems like I'm nothing but bruises, which can be borderline embarrassing when I take my daughter to the pool. You can practically hear the collective intake of breath from the adults when the cover up comes off. I need a bathing suit that says, "body by jiu jitsu," on it.

 

On 6/22/2016 at 7:03 AM, Kunmaar said:

Hey there! It's been some time, but I've found you again  :) Looks like you've been doing great in the meantime, and your new challenge is awesome. Following again!

 

Hi! I disappeared for awhile. Glad to see you around the boards. :) 

 

Week 2 Update

 

I've have had some good days and some not-so-great days since I last checked in.

 

School is out, which puts me in full-time mom mode during the weeks I didn't schedule some kind of summer camp, i.e. most of the weeks. It adds an extra challenge to the whole job hunt process, and in general wears on me quickly. Some women are amazing mothers that are really proactive about scheduling playdates and fun activities with their kids...I can pull off maybe two days of that before my introvert alarms begin blaring. To add to the general craziness, John works from home, and that means every time I think I have my daughter occupied with a solo activity so I can get some work done, she inevitably starts chatting up her dad. So then I'm distracted from my work making sure he can get his work done...it gets frustrating quickly.

 

Ummm, positives...bjj training is going pretty well. I started attending an early morning (6:30 AM!!!) takedown class this week. Takedowns are one of my biggest weaknesses on the mat, since we mostly start from knees during rolls. I thought I would feel more blurry-eyed during the majority of the class, but so far the grip fight warm ups have proven more effective than caffeine at getting me fully awake.

  • Like 2

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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Geez, yeah, I can see how that would all add up to get in your way. You gotta be a mom, but you got pressures coming on that you gotta deal with too. That's a hard place to be.

 

The only thing I can think of that might be helpful is the same advice everyone's giving to me as I'm in a time of transition - take it a day at a time, and try not to stress too hard about it. The fact that you care is a sign that you're at least trying to be a good mom. I bet you're succeeding too, more than you think. :)

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On 6/26/2016 at 1:14 AM, Kishi said:

Geez, yeah, I can see how that would all add up to get in your way. You gotta be a mom, but you got pressures coming on that you gotta deal with too. That's a hard place to be.

 

The only thing I can think of that might be helpful is the same advice everyone's giving to me as I'm in a time of transition - take it a day at a time, and try not to stress too hard about it. The fact that you care is a sign that you're at least trying to be a good mom. I bet you're succeeding too, more than you think. :)

 

Thanks! I don't think I'm a bad mom...nurturing just doesn't come as naturally to me as it seems to for other women. I just have to come up with my own way of dealing with the summer, and maybe that involves allowing more of some activities (video games and tv) than would be my ideal to keep the overall mood positive.

 

Week ? Update

 

I don't know what week it is in the challenge. Three? I think it is three. 

 

My general confusion should be a clue that life has been busy. I may have found a place of my own to rent! I need to complete the application and credit check, but the landlord seems really on top of things, which makes me feel good about my first pick. Having my own space sooner rather than later would be a big step forward for me right now. Current home life is cordially separate, but I think I'll be able to relax more when I'm not bumping into John all over the house. 

 

Training is okay, not great. My left knee and right foot are both bothering me. The foot is more annoying than worrisome, but I'm feeling cautious about the knee. It burns when I get into the mount position or start from knees for rolling. I find myself gravitating towards being on my back during rolls just to keep the pressure off it. 

 

Enough complaining though, and onto some positive things. My daughter has camp this week, so I'll have plenty of time to submit job applications. Tomorrow I'm going hiking with a jiu jitsu friend, and on Friday I'm planning to have lunch with another jiu jitsu friend. It will be a productive and social week, which is exactly what I need right now. :) 

  • Like 2

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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Glad to hear that you have been doing well in spite of some difficulties! I can imagine it must be hard trying to balance everything in life (finding a place to live, being a good parent, job search, BJJ) but you seem like you are pulling it off. 

 

Congrats on possibly finding a spot! I hope it all goes well for you! We're all pulling for you! 

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Nice! So things are progressing for you and you aren't stuck in a degrading holding pattern. This is good. The more good progress you make, the better this split is going to go and the more amicable things will stay.

 

I've seen it before when it goes bad. And when it goes bad... ooh. It's bad. As a friendly voice on the Internet, I do not want this for you.

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How is this challenge almost over? I really have no idea where the weeks have gone. 

 

The place that seemed almost as good as mine ended up going to someone else. I saw another promising rental today and am waiting for the landlord to send me the application. After getting my hopes up on the last place only to be disappointed, I'm feeling more cautious this time around.

 

The job hunt is proving especially frustrating. I have not gotten a single call back so far, though I have managed to get myself on some spam lists by applying to positions on craigslist that I (incorrectly) thought were reputable. This week I'm going to apply to some restaurants downtown in the hopes that I can secure some sort of revenue stream while I continue my search. I'm also toying with the idea of a combination of waiting tables and freelance design work with the hopes that over time I could shift fully into design work.

 

Okay, super tired right now and struggling to keep this coherent. Early bedtime for me tonight.

 

Happy 4th my fellow USA nerds!

  • Like 1

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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The challenge is indeed flying by. Sorry to hear about the apartment and job search. Those are two incredibly difficult things to do, never mind when you're doing both at once. Best of luck to you and I hope the new place works out! 

 

The freelance thing may not be a bad idea. I have a writing degree that I never put to use that I should be doing freelance with. 

 

Keep fighting! 

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Quick update before I turn in for the night...

 

This past weekend was rough with some friend drama (like I need more drama right now!), but things are thankfully settled down on that front. I am talking with two different people about the possibility of some freelance writing and design work. The apartment search continues. Jiu jitsu is my sanity.

 

Also, I took my daughter indoor rock climbing for the first time (her first, not mine). She took to it like a champion, and I see more climbing in our future. I just need to find another adult willing to become belay-certified so I can do more than boulder and stare longingly at the top rope walls. :) 

Now, I sleep, because I must rise with the sun in order to drop people to the ground during 6:30 AM takedown class. I swear that class is better than coffee.

 

  • Like 1

Current Challenge, 8765, 4321

 

"Talent is cheaper than table salt. What separates the talented individual from the successful one is a lot of hard work."

- Stephen King

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