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Hira takes care of herself


Hiraedd

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I love you.

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&,
Amazon of the Way

Gypsy Druid Paladin

Ranger Year 1: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

Druid Year 2: 8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |Year 3: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |Year 4: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |Year 5: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |Year 6: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |Year 7: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |Year 8: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 |

Local Foods Guru | Financial Freedom Fighter | Minimalism Yoda | Smaug-Slayer
Heidi Chronicles My NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed | Amazon of Awesome | MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

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I agree with all the above comments. You are such a wonderful person and you are getting wins in! As it has already been said, celebrate your wins, forgive yourself when things don't go as planned. You are human, after all. Always remember to breathe.

You can do this. I believe in you.

Sent by captain's orders via raven

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Level 8 Scottish Highland Assassin

Str 20/ Dex 10/ Sta 15/ Con 17/ Wis 20/ Cha 13

"Most of the things worth doing have been declared impossible before they were done."

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I hope you are winning the battle and liking yourself more.  I've never met you in person but I've communicated enough with you to know that you are a kind and lovely person.  We all want you to feel the love xx

 

xx

  • Like 3

Eirlys - Long Time Wood Fairy Druid

Current Challenge: S4 (Sleep, Sugar, Spending, Son)

 

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

 

Done is better than perfect

-- Facebook

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4234c9cf3a49ed8047347fd15e53fba4.jpg

 

dont-worry-everything-is-going-to-be-ama

 

http://zenpencils.com/comic/39-shantideva-what-me-worry/

(Granted it's probably not that simple. Headspaces are a little more complicated

than that. :P A nice thought, anyhow. Up to you if you like it, ofc.)

  • Like 2

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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hi! I clicked on your link and wanted to give you some high fives and goat love

goat-population-global-warming-2.jpg

 

Rebuilding is a hard, HARD process. You are doing such a great job! You'll find some surprises along the way, and yeah, the old way of doing things may not work for you anymore. This is your phoenix moment. You get to decide who you are now and what life is going to be like. Which is really hard. I mean HARD. But I promise you that if you keep going, you may not be 100% happy, but you'll love the person you've become.

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On 6/28/2016 at 5:28 PM, SnowOwl said:

I hope you are able to recognize the good and let go of the imperfections. It's a challenging path.

This is something I struggle with.  I tend to let go of the good (or at least push it aside) and focus on the imperfections.  Apparently recognizing that is an important step, but it feels like not enough.  I will keep working on it.

 

On 6/28/2016 at 5:42 PM, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

[You] are not defined by that money that has been spent. Who you are hasn't changed

Thanks, Tank. I needed that.  For some reason I tend to define myself by my mistakes and weaknesses rather than by my strengths.

 

On 6/29/2016 at 7:06 AM, Heidi said:

Trust the process, and breathe.

You are wonderful, strong, lovely.

There will be plenty of what you need.

There is an abundance, all around.

Do not hate yourself - your old ways and patterns developed from fear, and saved you. It is hard to thank these ways, but they, like the warriors they are, fought tooth and nail. I am grateful for these warriors of yours.

 

I give them permission to rest now, to stop fighting, to stop being on watch, to lie down in comfort.   

This is exactly how I want to be; not on watch but at rest.  I am going to print out these words and read them as part of a new initiative I'm calling "treat myself lovingly".

 

 

  • Like 2

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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On 6/29/2016 at 6:45 PM, Heidi said:

I love you.

I love you too!!

 

On 6/30/2016 at 5:57 AM, captncid said:

 Always remember to breathe.

You can do this. I believe in you.

Sent by captain's orders via raven

Thanks for the encouragement, Cid!  I appreciate being able to count on you.

 

On 6/30/2016 at 8:27 AM, Eirlys said:

you are a kind and lovely person.

Thanks, Eirlys!  I want to learn to see myself the way you see me.

 

On 6/30/2016 at 0:10 PM, Fearkiller said:

http://zenpencils.com/comic/39-shantideva-what-me-worry/

(Granted it's probably not that simple. Headspaces are a little more complicated

than that. :P A nice thought, anyhow. Up to you if you like it, ofc.)

LOL.  I wish it was that simple.  However it is a good reminder.  For me it's being angry at myself, so I'll paraphrase it with that "If you can solve your problem what is the need of being angry at yourself?  And if you can't solve your problem what is the use of being angry at yourself?"  Thanks, Fearkiller.  *hug*

 

On 6/30/2016 at 1:19 PM, Snarkyfishguts said:

hi! I clicked on your link and wanted to give you some high fives and goat love

goat-population-global-warming-2.jpg

 

Rebuilding is a hard, HARD process. You are doing such a great job! You'll find some surprises along the way, and yeah, the old way of doing things may not work for you anymore. This is your phoenix moment. You get to decide who you are now and what life is going to be like. Which is really hard. I mean HARD. But I promise you that if you keep going, you may not be 100% happy, but you'll love the person you've become.

Nice to meet you, Snarky.  (Do you mind if I call you Snarky?)  High fives and goat love appreciated, if unexpected.  I love the idea that this is my phoenix moment.  I'm going to need some more thinking on that.

 

What day is it today?  Friday?  Wow.  Where did the week go?  Happy Canada Day, peoples :)

 

Thursday - PWB 5.  Painted deck spindles.  Painted frame.  Recoated pergola posts.  Angry, want to destroy something and then cry by afternoon.  Went to gym instead: Cardio ( 30 min @ 2.3 mph on the treadmill, 10 minutes of easy rowing), stretching.  Abdominal breathing done during exercise, like walking yoga :D seemed to help.  Progressive muscle relaxation to sleep.

 

I noticed that the day I ended up hating on myself was a day I forgot to do the Personal Well Being (PWB) in the morning.  I also noticed that I was angry at myself for spending too much money but that as soon as I got more money I wanted to spend it.  I think it's a subtle form of self-harm, like wanting to eat things I know will make me ill.  I am using the same words (I don't treat myself that way) to deal with it and it seems to be somewhat better.  I think that seeking comfort in buying things or in food are symptoms of already being overwhelmed, and that I need to learn the signs that come before them if I really want to deal with those habits -- beating myself up over the symptoms isn't going to make me better.

 

Today - PWB 4.  Awake early and ready to go.  Spent the day organizing and helping my father make a 65 year old tractor run.  Too tired for gym, so lifting is moved to tomorrow. Abdominal breathing done.  Writing today for the first time all week -- I have been too tender from my last counseling session to attempt it.  Today's writing was about recognizing how I need external affirmation and accepting that it was a piece of the puzzle that is me. whether I like it or not.

 

Love you all.  Thank you for the cheering and encouragement.  It brightens my soul.

-H

  • Like 4

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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12 minutes ago, Hiraedd said:

 

Nice to meet you, Snarky.  (Do you mind if I call you Snarky?)  High fives and goat love appreciated, if unexpected.  I love the idea that this is my phoenix moment.  I'm going to need some more thinking on that.

 

You may absolutely call me Snarky. I find it is easier than typing Snarkyfishguts :D

I'm glad you liked the concept :) . Here is a cool phoenix while you think on it!  Have a wonderful weekend!

2473401d483cc3978a3d0f1f0807cb20.jpg

Shiba's Guidance by Luches

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22 minutes ago, Hiraedd said:

Thursday - PWB 5.  Painted deck spindles.  Painted frame.  Recoated pergola posts.  Angry, want to destroy something and then cry by afternoon.  Went to gym instead: Cardio ( 30 min @ 2.3 mph on the treadmill, 10 minutes of easy rowing), stretching.  Abdominal breathing done during exercise, like walking yoga :D seemed to help.  Progressive muscle relaxation to sleep.

 

Sounds to me like you got angry at the treadmill and made the rower cry. Working out was an amazing way to be productive with those emotions. I'm not even going to call them negative emotions, they are as much a part of you as the "positive" emotions. Do you remember the Original Star Trek Episode where Kirk gets split in two? There's a good Kirk and a bad Kirk. Without the "good" half the "bad" half acts selfishly, but the "good" half on it's own is indecisive and weak. The point is there are no good or bad emotions, just emotions. What makes them good or bad is what we choose to do with them. On Thursday you chose to do something productive. 

 

You continue to amaze me, and I'm very proud of you.

  • Like 2

Current Challenge Original 1,2,3, R 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51

52,53,54

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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Good for you for going to the gym, being mindful, remembering to breathe.

That is a wonderful, loving way to work with and through the emotions, because sometimes, often, the only way out is through.

Never forget that I love you.

  • Like 1

&,
Amazon of the Way

Gypsy Druid Paladin

Ranger Year 1: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 

Druid Year 2: 8 | 9 | 1011  | 12 | 13 |Year 3: 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 |Year 4: 1920 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |Year 5: 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 |Year 6: 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 |Year 7: 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53| 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 |Year 8: 61 | 62 | 63 | 64 | 65 | 66 |

Local Foods Guru | Financial Freedom Fighter | Minimalism Yoda | Smaug-Slayer
Heidi Chronicles My NF Character Sheet | @theheidifeed | Amazon of Awesome | MySlashdotKarmaIsExcellent

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So, are you going to go for an another round? (On, 17th, I believe?)

I hope you do, it's going well this far! ^-^

 

f2898768.jpg

 

:)

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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I'm glad you had spots of goodness. I'll go find that new challenge.

Current Challenge Original 1,2,3, R 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51

52,53,54

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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