To The NF Community, I Need Your Help.

[matty.lou]

hello nerd fitness rebels!

my name is Mattie, but just call me "Lou" please! i have quite a long story, but i'm here to share and finally make a change in my life. hopefully there will be ears to listen and a community to support me because i've heard nothing but good things about "Nerd Fitness'" community. I'm at my wits end, and I need a change, and Nerd Fitness seems like a honest, comfortable, supportive bunch; and i need that in my life. but, first, here's my story:

 

tomorrow is going to be the first day of my life and the last day of my past.

 

i've struggled with "self-esteem" for almost 90% of my life. although i've never been overweight, i've always been a bit "pudgier" than all of my friends, "curvier" than all of my friends, and i've always been the one to hold the most insecurities. most of these thoughts have really clouded a majority of my life, and have almost become my "full-time job". i have so many dreams and goals i want to pursue. my life-long goal is to become a full-time artist, and make art, but i feel that all of these weight/eating problems have taken all of my energy away from these endeavors. now, all i can focus on is making myself better, because once i do, i can put my full-focus on other things in life. 

 

my first stint in trying to lose weight started with calorie counting. at first, it was great and i was seeing some pretty good results from it. but soon enough, it started becoming obsessive. i wanted to see how low i could go, and i started being even more restrictive. the more 'restricted' i felt, the more i craved more food and ultimately it ended up in constant, guilt-ridden binges with food. and the treacherous restrict-binge cycle began...

 

after spending months in and out of different diets, returning back to calorie counting only to feel restricted, obsessive, and unhappy which ultimately led to binging, i strongly ended up believing i was cursed to be uncomfortable with who i was for the rest of my life. after searching for a more comfortable way of living, i found "intuitive eating" and finally thought that this 'may be it', i finally may be free and be what i'm meant to be. "intuitive eating" believes in eating what you want/crave, listening to your hunger signals, and trying not to be overtly full all the time. unfortunately, the "intuitive eating" phase only lead to the majority of my intake being junk food, and just anything and everything that's seen as unhealthy. although i don't bash "intuitive eating"; i've come to the conclusion that i don't believe its for me. intuitive eating ultimately only lead to more and more restrictive and binging cycles because i still felt extremely uncomfortable. i'm an "all or nothing" girl, and i've definitely realized this; another thing i've realized about myself in this process is that i'm an extremely visual person (probably because i'm an artist), and because of being so visually inclined, i'm even more critical with how i look. how i look determines how i feel each day, and right now, i don't feel like myself at all. and now we bring us to today...

 

today, i'm going to confess, has probably been the worst binge of my life. but as they say, once you hit rock bottom, the only way you can continue going is up; and i've finally realized that enough is enough, and i'm finally tired.

 

i'm so tired of feeling uncomfortable with myself. i'm so tired of waking up and being so critical of my weight, of my looks. i'm so tired of my life being filled 100% with diets, calories, losing weight. i'm so tired of trying and trying again only to end up even more insecure. i want to make a change, i want to make a lifestyle change. i want to finally be happy when i look in the mirror, and feel confident with how i feel about myself. i don't want to feel insecure in a bathing suit, or jeans, or in a dress anymore. i want to be healthy and feel active. i don't want to be the stereotyped artist who just smokes all day and drinks coffee for meals, i want to be the best version of myself. the healthiest version of myself.

i just don't know how or where to start, and i need your help because i know i can't calorie count anymore because first, its not sustainable for me long-term. i know i want to lose weight/fat and become fitter, toned, tighter, and smaller, i just don't know how.

 

so to the community of nerd fitness, i'm reaching out to you. if anyone has any advice, tips, help; anything to guide me to, please do, because it would be a life changer. all i want in life is to be happy, and to be happy with my life and myself. and the way i can do that is to be confident in myself. i just need your help.

[pyrotech0001]

First off, I have been exactly where you have been. In fact you could say I'm still stuck there now considering I came here to toss up my introduction with everyone else and ask for support as well. Starting and failing, starting and failing, starting and failing, binge and fast, binge and fast, it all ends up being one long overextended cycle of the same crap with no hope of change. Frankly I have finally become completely fed up with the cycle, with the depression, low self esteem, and a complete lack of the energy to do a damn thing about it. Sound familiar at all?

 

For days I have been combing through the NF resources and trying to assemble a framework for the key points to breaking this horrid cycle. I know how lost you must feel, especially since we are all bombarded by constant misinformation, adverts, and misguided advice. The first thing you should try to do is research, and inform yourself of your needs. Honestly Steve and his cohorts do a great job dispensing information that seems to actually be helpful. I started here--->https://www.nerdfitness.com/top-posts/---https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/03/03/game-of-life/---http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/02/23/level-up-your-life-make-a-change/

That last one is a 4 part post, links at bottom to go to next one. Documentation, before and after pictures, and actually being able to see signs of progress (Whatever they may be) are ways to keep refilling your willpower to keep going. Humans naturally seek that instant gratification, but we have to forsake that here, and be patient. Much easier said than done unfortunately.

 

Personally, I have started and fell back more times than I can count on many routines, diets, and exercise plans. From the sound of things, you've had your fair share of pitfalls too. I can't guarantee that either of us will be 100% successful this time around, but I'm going to give it my best shot and be as well informed and prepared as I possibly can. I'm going to try to have more accountability for myself, more self-discipline, and never let my eyes off my goal. I know I can't do this alone anymore, so if you are willing to humor a random nerd trying to improve his life, and possibly the lives of as many others around me, then lets do our best to help each other here. 

 

Maybe by working together, and with the rest of the community here, we can grow and achieve the things that seem to have eluded both of us for too long. To live happily, healthily, and to the fullest degree possible. To follow our dreams, goals, pursuits, and not be weighed down by ourselves and the industry that frankly only cares about cash and not what its doing to people.  Lets do our best to try to keep each other accountable, support each other when we fall, help each other up after, and to celebrate the successes together when they begin to roll in.

 

I start my journey tomorrow, with a new outlook, a brighter future, healthier lifestyle changes for the long term when it comes to food, and a new perspective on what a workout is all about.  The scariest thing about people is one thing, choice. With a choice, and enough determination, we can do ANYTHING! Lets rock this new life! 

[Guzzi]

Hey!

 

@pyrotech0001 You have done some pretty thorough reading and there's some pretty good advice there. It's great to see a newcomer already offering up help and advice to someone else. Great stuff!

 

@matty.lou Your story sounds so familiar, you are certainly not alone in being trapped in that awful spiral of fasting and binging. Don't worry, you will find support here. 

 

Ive just been explaining the 4 week challenges to another user. I think that they would be a great tool for you. This is the Rules and Guidlines which explain it all. 

 

Something that i would suggest to you is to try and change your mindset, to shift your focus away from weight loss and simply try to make small changes to your diet and lifestyle. Small changes though. It sounds like you are similar to me and would jump in and try to change everything all at once, which is a recipe for disaster! 

 

The key to lasting change is to genuinely build new habits. That takes time and it can be hard to restrict yourself to small changes when you are full of enthusiasm to make a fresh start, but sometimes slow and steady really does win the race. 

 

The other bit of advice I would give you is to throw away your scales. Ok, maybe not literally, these things cost money after all, but  stop using them. I think that you would start to get fixated by the number on the scale and that isn't healthy. Instead, I would suggest that you take a starting weight, and a full length photo, now and then don't do either of them again for at least 2-3 months. If you can't see the number on the scale then it's one less thing to fixate on. 

 

I would suggest that instead of trying to lose weight you try to simply eat better. And by that I don't mean starve yourself or eat nothing but chicken and lettuce, but just start by habing a regular meal scheadule and introducing healthier foods into your diet. If you focus on improving your diet then the rest will start to fall into place naturally. 

 

I think this article would be really useful to you. It takes a while to get to the point but it is sooooo worth reading!

 

I hope you find what you're looking for here, it really is a great community! If you need any help or have any questions then just shout. Or maybe just tag me. That's probably more effective.

[matty.lou]

19 hours ago, pyrotech0001 said:

First off, I have been exactly where you have been. In fact you could say I'm still stuck there now considering I came here to toss up my introduction with everyone else and ask for support as well. Starting and failing, starting and failing, starting and failing, binge and fast, binge and fast, it all ends up being one long overextended cycle of the same crap with no hope of change. Frankly I have finally become completely fed up with the cycle, with the depression, low self esteem, and a complete lack of the energy to do a damn thing about it. Sound familiar at all?

 

For days I have been combing through the NF resources and trying to assemble a framework for the key points to breaking this horrid cycle. I know how lost you must feel, especially since we are all bombarded by constant misinformation, adverts, and misguided advice. The first thing you should try to do is research, and inform yourself of your needs. Honestly Steve and his cohorts do a great job dispensing information that seems to actually be helpful. I started here--->https://www.nerdfitness.com/top-posts/---https://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2011/03/03/game-of-life/---http://www.nerdfitness.com/blog/2009/02/23/level-up-your-life-make-a-change/

That last one is a 4 part post, links at bottom to go to next one. Documentation, before and after pictures, and actually being able to see signs of progress (Whatever they may be) are ways to keep refilling your willpower to keep going. Humans naturally seek that instant gratification, but we have to forsake that here, and be patient. Much easier said than done unfortunately.

 

Personally, I have started and fell back more times than I can count on many routines, diets, and exercise plans. From the sound of things, you've had your fair share of pitfalls too. I can't guarantee that either of us will be 100% successful this time around, but I'm going to give it my best shot and be as well informed and prepared as I possibly can. I'm going to try to have more accountability for myself, more self-discipline, and never let my eyes off my goal. I know I can't do this alone anymore, so if you are willing to humor a random nerd trying to improve his life, and possibly the lives of as many others around me, then lets do our best to help each other here. 

 

Maybe by working together, and with the rest of the community here, we can grow and achieve the things that seem to have eluded both of us for too long. To live happily, healthily, and to the fullest degree possible. To follow our dreams, goals, pursuits, and not be weighed down by ourselves and the industry that frankly only cares about cash and not what its doing to people.  Lets do our best to try to keep each other accountable, support each other when we fall, help each other up after, and to celebrate the successes together when they begin to roll in.

 

I start my journey tomorrow, with a new outlook, a brighter future, healthier lifestyle changes for the long term when it comes to food, and a new perspective on what a workout is all about.  The scariest thing about people is one thing, choice. With a choice, and enough determination, we can do ANYTHING! Lets rock this new life! 

 

Thank you so much @pyrotech0001!

 

You don't understand how deeply i resonate with what you said, and i recently read your "introduction" or "Insert Rebel Yell Here"; and i felt as if i was reading an autobiography about myself. I too, struggle with depression, which honestly leads to a lot of my overeating and struggles with that. I sincerely appreciate those links you've posted and I've read them thoroughly. I've been considering starting a Whole30 this coming Monday (June 27th) to really kick things into gear.

As I said, I'm an "All or Nothing" kind of person, and ultimately for me, if I want it enough I'll do anything I can to get there; and this time, i've finally had enough. 

I've tried implementing small changes throughout my life, such as exercising a bit every day, eating a bit healthier, etc... but for me, even then, this ends up in a "oh, i had a bite of this cake, might as well eat everything else". For me, temptation can lie even in the simplest of things, and I've learned that for me, it's best to avoid them all together, and leave them for only special occasions. 

 

I hope you're journey is going well, and if you ever need a helping hand or someone to confide in, i'll be more than happy to lend an ear. Because life isn't meant to be conquered alone, to me, its better with "family". And I'm sure everyone here at Nerd Fitness feels that way too. "We're all in this together".

 

I'm rooting for you! Keep up the good work. 

[matty.lou]

15 hours ago, Guzzi said:

Hey!

 

@pyrotech0001 You have done some pretty thorough reading and there's some pretty good advice there. It's great to see a newcomer already offering up help and advice to someone else. Great stuff!

 

@matty.lou Your story sounds so familiar, you are certainly not alone in being trapped in that awful spiral of fasting and binging. Don't worry, you will find support here. 

 

Ive just been explaining the 4 week challenges to another user. I think that they would be a great tool for you. This is the Rules and Guidlines which explain it all. 

 

Something that i would suggest to you is to try and change your mindset, to shift your focus away from weight loss and simply try to make small changes to your diet and lifestyle. Small changes though. It sounds like you are similar to me and would jump in and try to change everything all at once, which is a recipe for disaster! 

 

The key to lasting change is to genuinely build new habits. That takes time and it can be hard to restrict yourself to small changes when you are full of enthusiasm to make a fresh start, but sometimes slow and steady really does win the race. 

 

The other bit of advice I would give you is to throw away your scales. Ok, maybe not literally, these things cost money after all, but  stop using them. I think that you would start to get fixated by the number on the scale and that isn't healthy. Instead, I would suggest that you take a starting weight, and a full length photo, now and then don't do either of them again for at least 2-3 months. If you can't see the number on the scale then it's one less thing to fixate on. 

 

I would suggest that instead of trying to lose weight you try to simply eat better. And by that I don't mean starve yourself or eat nothing but chicken and lettuce, but just start by habing a regular meal scheadule and introducing healthier foods into your diet. If you focus on improving your diet then the rest will start to fall into place naturally. 

 

I think this article would be really useful to you. It takes a while to get to the point but it is sooooo worth reading!

 

I hope you find what you're looking for here, it really is a great community! If you need any help or have any questions then just shout. Or maybe just tag me. That's probably more effective.

 

@Guzzi, thank you so much! The 4 week challenges sound like a great idea; and probably changing my mindset is what I need to do the most. 

 

The difficult thing is I have such a hard time grasping "small changes" and being "patient". I've always desired a quick fix, but what I need to realize and what I need to understand is that life is a marathon, not a sprint. As much as I want to change everything all at once, I know I probably shouldn't because it always inevitably leads to a binge one way or another. 

 

I've been considering starting a Whole30 this coming Monday (June 27th), and implementing small yet enjoyable and invigorating exercise every now and then to start getting the ball rolling onto the right path. 

 

I read through the article and I absolutely loved it! Thank you so much for the information, its definitely worth reading, and thanks to you, i've saved it to my "bookmarks" for future reference - so thank you! 

 

And thank you so much! I'm sure I will find what I'm looking for here. The community here seems honest, supportive, and hopeful, and I'm glad to have found a community of people I can connect with and grow into.

 

Thank you so much. 

[Cataleya]

Guzzi said it about as well as I could. Perhaps focusing on a different type of goal, one that comes with weight loss, will be more helpful. Maybe that's training for a 5k or starting a weightlifting program. I have found that as I have become more active, my desire for crappy food has receded a bit (except on super stressful days) and I naturally end up eating less junk food.

 

If you have a hard time making small changes, perhaps you can try our four week challenges and let people know you have trouble with making small changes and end up getting in too deep. I think we're still taking a break between challenges, so you could post at the beginning of the rest week some kind of plan, and ask for feedback. The people here are super friendly and helpful and a lot of them have been around for a long time so they know generally speaking how much is too much for someone who is just starting to take on. I also find it a great source of accountability to know that there are people checking in on me and making sure that I feel okay as well as am accomplishing what I want to accomplish.

 

I have heard a lot of good things about Whole30 and have considered doing it myself, but I'm trying something else first. I have the first book though and have read through it a couple times. If you struggle with junk food, you might benefit from something like that, so long as you don't fall back into eating a bunch of junk food when you're done.

 

[pyrotech0001]

@matty.lou 

1 hour ago, matty.lou said:

Thank you so much @pyrotech0001!

 

You don't understand how deeply i resonate with what you said, and i recently read your "introduction" or "Insert Rebel Yell Here"; and i felt as if i was reading an autobiography about myself. I too, struggle with depression, which honestly leads to a lot of my overeating and struggles with that. I sincerely appreciate those links you've posted and I've read them thoroughly. I've been considering starting a Whole30 this coming Monday (June 27th) to really kick things into gear.

As I said, I'm an "All or Nothing" kind of person, and ultimately for me, if I want it enough I'll do anything I can to get there; and this time, i've finally had enough. 

I've tried implementing small changes throughout my life, such as exercising a bit every day, eating a bit healthier, etc... but for me, even then, this ends up in a "oh, i had a bite of this cake, might as well eat everything else". For me, temptation can lie even in the simplest of things, and I've learned that for me, it's best to avoid them all together, and leave them for only special occasions. 

 

I hope you're journey is going well, and if you ever need a helping hand or someone to confide in, i'll be more than happy to lend an ear. Because life isn't meant to be conquered alone, to me, its better with "family". And I'm sure everyone here at Nerd Fitness feels that way too. "We're all in this together".

 

I'm rooting for you! Keep up the good work. 

Quoting this so I don't have to keep scrolling back up and reread it while I respond =p

 

I completely get your "All or nothing" attitude and I feel you on being fed up. I was curious about the Whole30 and did a little digging, and honestly it seems nothing more than a modified paleo diet. Based on the same principals but they have cut out some things and reduced others which may leave you being nutritionally deficient. While eating junk, crap, and processed food we are similarly deficient in the nutrients we need, and feel like crap as a result. If you want to try a jumpstarted 30 day challenge (Which is 4 weeks go figure) then as much as being patient is a pain, and how drawing temptation for certain foods can be, I'd suggest giving a paleo approach a shot. Nothing to lose and everything to gain, especially if you are thinking of Whole30 (Which as I've said is a modified paleo diet). 

 

The big changes that they toot come less from the food the diet suggests, and more from whats being cut out instead. Personally, it is easier to slowly integrate a new diet than to jump into a new one (Think about how you change a dogs food by mixing the old with the new in different ratios until they have fully switched to the new food). This principal applies to people too despite how much we may hate it. I'm compiling a list of food I love, with a healthy or paleo equivalent/adaptation, getting portions straight, and getting recipes and shopping lists straightened out so I can focus all my efforts on changing my diet. If you want any help with something similar, feel free to PM me and we can exchange Ideas and recipes so we can tackle this diet problem we seem to have together. I think I actually found the keys to success in this area at last and would love to share it with you if your up for it!

 

Here is at least one article on the Whole30 you may want to check out--->http://www.livescience.com/49276-whole-30-health-claims.html

I'd really hate to see you jump down a path that could end in another failure and another step backwards. Least if I can help it. Or I may be completely wrong and this is perfect for you. I'm rooting for you too! Make the best choices you can!

[Cataleya]

Whole30 really isn't that bad. It's great for people who are trying to find out if they have food sensitivities or who have other gastrointestinal issues, or who just want a clean break from crappy food. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's hardly a horror show for most people who try it.

 

Not to say a paleo approach wouldn't work, or that integrating a new diet wouldn't work. It's all about doing research and finding out what works for you. If Whole30 sounds like something you want to try, then give it a try. If it doesn't, or if you find something else that you would rather do, then do that.

[Guzzi]

Someone said something today that really resonated with me and I think it will with you too.

 

He was talking about when things go wrong and he slips up. He used to think "Oh well, might as well quit now". But now....

 

...still treating it as fighting the Boss as you say... he kicks my ass, I shrug and start the level over again having learned a snippet of new tactic.

 

It used to be one of the hardest things for me to deal with, if I slipped up/didn't eat right/exercise for a day/a few days/a week it would affect me mentally and I found it really hard to go back. I know a lot of others feel this way too. 

[matty.lou]

10 hours ago, pyrotech0001 said:

@matty.lou 

Quoting this so I don't have to keep scrolling back up and reread it while I respond =p

 

I completely get your "All or nothing" attitude and I feel you on being fed up. I was curious about the Whole30 and did a little digging, and honestly it seems nothing more than a modified paleo diet. Based on the same principals but they have cut out some things and reduced others which may leave you being nutritionally deficient. While eating junk, crap, and processed food we are similarly deficient in the nutrients we need, and feel like crap as a result. If you want to try a jumpstarted 30 day challenge (Which is 4 weeks go figure) then as much as being patient is a pain, and how drawing temptation for certain foods can be, I'd suggest giving a paleo approach a shot. Nothing to lose and everything to gain, especially if you are thinking of Whole30 (Which as I've said is a modified paleo diet). 

 

The big changes that they toot come less from the food the diet suggests, and more from whats being cut out instead. Personally, it is easier to slowly integrate a new diet than to jump into a new one (Think about how you change a dogs food by mixing the old with the new in different ratios until they have fully switched to the new food). This principal applies to people too despite how much we may hate it. I'm compiling a list of food I love, with a healthy or paleo equivalent/adaptation, getting portions straight, and getting recipes and shopping lists straightened out so I can focus all my efforts on changing my diet. If you want any help with something similar, feel free to PM me and we can exchange Ideas and recipes so we can tackle this diet problem we seem to have together. I think I actually found the keys to success in this area at last and would love to share it with you if your up for it!

 

Here is at least one article on the Whole30 you may want to check out--->http://www.livescience.com/49276-whole-30-health-claims.html

I'd really hate to see you jump down a path that could end in another failure and another step backwards. Least if I can help it. Or I may be completely wrong and this is perfect for you. I'm rooting for you too! Make the best choices you can!

 

I've done the paleo diet before a couple of years ago (but i drank whole milk and ate 'grass-fed' cheese every now and then; so you could say i ate primal) and although that gave me the best results (helped me lose weight effortlessly, flat stomach good percentage of the time, etc...) and left me really confused (there would be nights were i would eat a huge steak and the next morning wake up flatter and 'slimmer', that still confuses me to this day) i'm not 100% sure i can go back to eating 'primal'/paleo because i love bread, pasta, etc... but does bread/pasta really make you fat??

 

also, do you have any idea what could possibly explain that crazy phenomenon (to me at least), when i would eat a huge steak with vegetables for dinner and be incredibly full only to wake up the next morning with a flatter stomach?? i've always wondered if anyone could explain that because i know for a fact i was eating more calories than usual back when i was paleo/primal yet i lost weight effortlessly.

 

I'm still struggling to find a diet that i can do for the rest of my life and thats honestly my main problem. I have exercise down (i'm going to start using the Nike Training Club App, and following their plans, they're basically bodyweight circuits, with some yoga and walking thrown in throughout the week because i enjoy both) its just the i diet that i struggle with the most. I honestly believe eating primal/paleo will get me to where I want to be without having to obsess about calories; i just need to shift my mindset to being "okay" with eating cake/pasta on special occasions every once in awhile without freaking out about getting fat from 'one meal'. I struggle with diets because I want to eat the foods i enjoy, without counting calories and obsessing over every morsel, while achieving my ideal body (slim/fit), you know? I want to live life comfortably but also confidently. One of the things I loved about paleo/primal was how simple it was to eat out at restaurants. Ultimately, my goal, is to eat foods that taste delicious and make my body feel and look great without obsessing over it and having it control my life so I can live my life the way i want to, confidently, comfortably and to the fullest. 

 

but, I would absolutely love to exchange ideas with you and hear your "keys to success"! should I PM you, or you PM me? 

 

thank you so much @pyrotech0001. you've been a huge help!