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theodinspire

Theodinspire: the Dirty Thirty

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I turn thirty this month. I've a mortgage, the Finch and I are expecting a baby. We're getting buying a car from my parents. I am on the tipping point into Ætas Adulta, and out of the land of the carefree twenties.

 

It turns out that my priorities have been a little askew. Not terribly much, and when I wasn't in school, it worked out fine. It was a little rockier after I started school but with all this freaking adulting happening, the skew is now causing a bit of strife. I'm also the worst at communication: I tend not to say what I'm thinking during Important Conversations™, for fear of making conflict worse. I'm pretty sure this started as a coping mechanism because when I get upset, my brain jams and often what I'm thinking is unfair or inflammatory, which by not voicing I don't step on anything. The problem is though when the not voicing itself it the stepping in anything. 

 

The next five and a half weeks are to prioritize housework and communication with the Finch. I do also need to keep up with my schoolwork, with this self-directed course that I'm taking. While I've started by filling out my Passion Planner for the week, I'm kinda at a loss for what to do for how to fill out chore lists, and then on top of that my mental tunnel-vision makes it difficult to look around the condo and seeing what needs to get done.

 

Week -1:

Try to pinpoint what can be done to improve accountability at home and improve communication. Then build the plan for the rest of the challenge.

 

Challenge:

Let's do a KISS challenge!

  1. Fill out the passion planner every Sunday for the week. Include some Unfrell Your Habitat time for everyday.
  2. Unfrell Your Habitat: do a little bit of house work every day. Particularly, because they're the worst: no bed until the dishes are clean. That way they don't pile up.
  3. Two outings a week with the Finch that's just us, even if it's just for a Pokéwalk

 

† Since my parents already gifted so much for our down payment, they can't gift anymore without someone taking a big ding in taxes. So I'm purchasing my mother's Honda for a nominal fee to avoid that. It's still steeply discounted from the blue book value.

Edited by theodinspire
Actually writing a challenge
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Adulting :-( 

 

I divide chores into frequent, weekly, and periodic:  Frequent is things like dishes, garbage, kitty litter, meal prep, sweeping the floors, minor tidying.  Weekly stuff is laundry, groceries, and dusting.  Periodic is bathroom and floor washing. 

 

Would a breakdown like that help?  What you need to do may vary.

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Oh, communication. That's a hard one.

 

And I hear you on priorities being somewhat askew. It's like that for me too, with the adult job and everything. Still feel like I'm figuring that one out, but I hope you get there in the next few weeks!

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On 7/7/2016 at 9:48 PM, Teirin said:

Adulting :-( 

 

I divide chores into frequent, weekly, and periodic:  Frequent is things like dishes, garbage, kitty litter, meal prep, sweeping the floors, minor tidying.  Weekly stuff is laundry, groceries, and dusting.  Periodic is bathroom and floor washing. 

 

Would a breakdown like that help?  What you need to do may vary.

 

What I would really like is an application where you can set a task to be done every X days, but once the task becomes active, the count doesn't reset until it's been done. I just need more help remembering what needs to get done even if its not in front of my face. I live in my head a lot and unless I'm staring at something or am interested in it, it mightn't get done.

 

9 minutes ago, Kishi said:

Oh, communication. That's a hard one.

 

And I hear you on priorities being somewhat askew. It's like that for me too, with the adult job and everything. Still feel like I'm figuring that one out, but I hope you get there in the next few weeks!

 

So, Pokémon GO is a mixed blessing here. On one hand, it now takes me twice as long to get anywhere, but the Finch and I just went on a Pokémon date where we walked around the neighborhood, catching pokémon, storming gyms and eating at a restaurant while using a lure module on the Poké Stop outside. If we can keep this up, it'll strengthen good habits of talking.

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Adulting, man. I've had a mortgage for five years now, I've got two paid-off cars thanks to some thinking ahead and some significant generosity from the in-laws, but now one of them needs a bunch of work before it'll pass inspection. Oh yeah, and I've got to replace my drivers' license this month, but my stupid state isn't allowing us to get the new national standard IDs until NEXT year. Like, WTF? 

 

Sigh. Adulting is hard. It's pretty shocking to know that our parents were making it up as they went along, just like we are now...

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Down with adulting!

 

Even excitingish adulting.

 

On 7/8/2016 at 11:31 PM, Kishi said:

Oh, communication. That's a hard one.

 

+a million.

 

I suck at this, too.

 

On 7/8/2016 at 11:46 PM, theodinspire said:

What I would really like is an application where you can set a task to be done every X days, but once the task becomes active, the count doesn't reset until it's been done. I just need more help remembering what needs to get done even if its not in front of my face. I live in my head a lot and unless I'm staring at something or am interested in it, it mightn't get done.

 

I haven't checked it out, by maybe Unfuck Your Habitat would offer something like that?  There was another list I saw at my girlfriend's sister's house that was a checklist of Daily/Weekly/Monthly tasks and how long it would take/spend to do them that I instantly fell in love with because it was EXACTLY WHAT I NEED.  Not digital, but doable.  Ill see if I can remember where it was from.

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29 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

I haven't checked it out, by maybe Unfuck Your Habitat would offer something like that?  There was another list I saw at my girlfriend's sister's house that was a checklist of Daily/Weekly/Monthly tasks and how long it would take/spend to do them that I instantly fell in love with because it was EXACTLY WHAT I NEED.  Not digital, but doable.  Ill see if I can remember where it was from.

 

Maybe that's what I need. 20 minutes isn't that much. That's less than a pomodoro. Did a little more reading: it's basically pomodoro di casa. I can deal with that. I guess. 

 

I guess it's time for a KISS challenge. Updating the header post now.

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Funny story.  I've never actually used UFYH, and finally just looked at it since I suggested it to you.

 

 

I now feel dumb, because I should have used this a long, long time ago.

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On 7/8/2016 at 10:46 PM, theodinspire said:

but once the task becomes active, the count doesn't reset until it's been done.

 

I use todoist.com for this. Takes a bit of special wording to get it to do what you're asking, but it can be done. It also integrates into gmail, so its right in your face if you're checking your mails.

 

 

 

 

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Habitica is a very helpful web app (there's iOS and Android versions) for working on habits, and it's gamified. I use that and Wunderlist, which is great for writing simple todo lists.

 

Following along!

 

 

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On 7/16/2016 at 4:16 PM, Traxex said:

 

I use todoist.com for this. Takes a bit of special wording to get it to do what you're asking, but it can be done. It also integrates into gmail, so its right in your face if you're checking your mails.

 

I will have to give this a shot. But not as a means of procrastination

 

On 7/17/2016 at 9:00 AM, buckswrath said:

Habitica is a very helpful web app (there's iOS and Android versions) for working on habits, and it's gamified. I use that and Wunderlist, which is great for writing simple todo lists.

 

Following along!

 

I have been using Habitica! I wish the task system were a bit more robust, but it's easy enough to use. Though I had been sitting on 1000 gold to spend to buy the Slave One LEGO, but some persons in my party didn't do all their tasks over a boss fight and I died. DX

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d2YVsM6RSAaMUes0.gif

 

Things got away from me last week. Did not keep up on dishes, didn't make my planner for the week until today. I could make the excuse that there was stag-partying and weddinging happening last weekend, but that's just excuses. Also my team keeps falling down the NRL ladder.

 

I did spend time the last two nights doing dishes, and trying to keep the condo cleanish. Got things tonight so hopefully I won't have (m)any dishes to deal with post-swords.

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Well, on the other hand, though, if you do have a lot of dishes post-swords, you can use the swords on them to get what you want, right? :D

 

...

 

I may not know how swords work. Or dishes.

 

Anyway, I know I haven't been around, and I don't have a timetable that's going to let that change soon, but I really do hope things have been going well!

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On 8/7/2016 at 11:44 PM, theodinspire said:

I suppose I did get the two outings with the Finch every week, and our communication is getting better. I could do better with the chorage, but I am also doing better than before. Draw?

 

Win.  Progress in any form is always a win.  Might not be as fast of progress as you want, but it's still a win.  Just means you can work more on it, like everything else in life. 

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