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Sparrow rewrites his Invisible Scripts.


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Back Story:

 

In a last ditch effort to spread humanity past it's narrow confines of Earth, the Terran Hanseatic League built a number of generation ships to send toward planets projected to be habitable by humans. These colonists expected to have almost zero contact with those they left behind, as the journey would take years to complete and it would be nearly impossible to return. 

 

?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ofearna.us%2Fbooks%2

 

 

What they least expected was for one of the ships to be intercepted by the first alien civilization the League had ever encountered. These benevolent aliens helped the colonists find a planet then traveled to Earth with a few representatives from the generation ship. 

 

?u=http%3A%2F%2F1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-MtE

 

With the alien's faster than light travel, the League regained contact with the other ships and continued to expand into the galaxy, finding only the ruins of a race of aliens long gone.

 

It wasn't until a science experiment over a gas giant awoke the anger of a species of beings living deep in the titanic pressures of the planet that they met another alien race, starting Earth's first interstellar war. 

 

?u=http%3A%2F%2F3.bp.blogspot.com%2F-273

 

Character Details:

 

'The Saga of Seven Suns' by Keven J Anderson, isn't really that great of a series. The world he creates is detailed, creative, and amazing. However, he telegraphs plot movements, recaps too much and too often, and relies on luck to get some of his characters through problems. I only read them because I loved his Star Wars books and my father new him back when he was a writer. That said, I did fall in love with one of his characters. 

 

Dalvin Lotz grew up in extreme poverty, but his insatiable drive for knowledge caused him to develop an interesting set of skills. He used a knowledge of technology and psychology to manipulate universities into giving him free education. When ever a university would start to catch on, he would change identities and start again. 

 

It wasn't until much later that the League caught up to him, but he had one last card to play. Facing jail, he told the League that the skills that had helped him break the law could be very useful to the League...

 

He would later be called an exosociologist, but at the start of his carrier he would be called things like commando, ghost, or spy. He simply calls himself an, 'expert in obscure details'. What makes him so interesting to me is that he believes in only studying a topic until you have a slightly better than good idea of what it encompasses. The reason for this is because after a specific point, your payoff for study decreases dramatically compared to the time you spend in study.

 

So he instead gets a good amount of knowledge in many different areas, just enough that he knows where to find additional info if needed, and create connections between topics that a specialist wouldn't see. It's a very ranger attitude. :) 

 

Challenge Details:

 

Part 1:

I don't plan on doing the normal four goals, instead I am going to start with one and add to it as I perfect it. My first goal is to nail down a morning routine. I will wake up when my alarm goes off, and go outside for at least 10 deep breaths. I want to start this now so that when it gets colder I have it as a good habit.

 

I will then drink a glass of water and do a warm-up, maybe even some yoga? Not sure if I will motivate myself to do the yoga part though. To finish I will do 50 pushups, and 50 situps. After that is complete I can go back to sleep, watch tv, what ever - as long as I start the day off right.

 

Part 2:

It would be great if you all participated in this part! I am going to identify 'invisible scripts' I suffer from and attempt to change them.

 

"An invisible script is an assumption that is so baked in to how you view the world and your choices that you don’t even question it. It often involves an inner voice telling you what you should do, need to do, or can’t do."

-Huffington Post

 

Example:

"I need to keep up with worldly news so that people think I am 'in the know' " 

 

or

 

"I need to buy a house after I get married because that is what people do." 

 

 

 

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Level 8 Expert in Obscure Details

 

Challenges: 1 : 234 : 5 : 6The Martian

 

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Following! 

 

10 minutes ago, WorldSparrow said:

"An invisible script is an assumption that is so baked in to how you view the world and your choices that you don’t even question it. It often involves an inner voice telling you what you should do, need to do, or can’t do."

-Huffington Post

 

Example:

"I need to keep up with worldly news so that people think I am 'in the know' " 

 

or

 

"I need to buy a house after I get married because that is what people do." 

 

This certainly brings light to some things. I've always gone against the grain but I had NO IDEA it was called "invisible scripting". Very neat. I learn something new from each of your challenges, brother.

 

12 minutes ago, WorldSparrow said:

I don't plan on doing the normal four goals, instead I am going to start with one and add to it as I perfect it.

 

Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. Compartmentalize. You got this brother! One step at a time ;) 

 

Wolf

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Wild Wolf

Class: Peerless Scarred/ Height: 6'2 / Weight: 188#

Instagram: @ryanwolfbell / Facebook: Ryan Wolf Bell / Bible App (YouVersion) Ryan Wolf Bell

Current Challenge: Intro to Wolflean

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Know, O prince, that once the sun burns out and the earth's core becomes solid and cold, there will come a man to provide the endless energy needed to sustain life and for the planets to keep moving. He is the source of light and the warmth of hope back into the hearts of humanity...." - Dark_Raider

 

A wolf rises in my heart; against my darkness; against my demons; against my despair. I DECLARE WAR!

 

Romans 8:28 (CSB) We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

 

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I love your morning routine goal!  I've gotten out of the habit, but I really enjoyed getting things accomplished in the morning.  Starts your whole day off right!

 

Your points about invisible scripts is really interesting.  Would love to see how this evolves during your challenge, and how you get the community here involved.

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I'm loving the intuitive way you've set up your challenge, and as for the invisible scripts... I didn't know it had a name. Turns out that's kind of what I'm fighting too.

 

Definitely following along for this!

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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Loose Ends:

Last challenge @Wild Wolf requested a picture of my new shoes.

 

20160713_071436.jpg

 

They are already dusty from a lot of miles! You can see my old New Balance shoes in the background as well. 

 

The Weekend:

MAJOR, MAJOR DOMS

 

?u=http%3A%2F%2F1missionfornutrition.fil

 

At my second job we did a lot of testing this weekend, as in three weeks we are headed to an advanced leadership course in Washington in the woods near Seattle! That is also why I will have to cut this challenge short, and will not be doing the mini. 

 

We started with a physical test, which I almost maxed out! I got 95 Pushups (100% = 77) 82 Situps (100% = 82) and a 13:36 2-mile time (100% = 13:18) So close to that 300 max points! Maybe next time if I keep working on my run time. 

 

Later that day we did a leadership reaction course, which my team kept sending me out first due to my monkey-like nature.

 

P7090053.jpg

 

The next morning, Sunday, we did sprints. So for the last few days I have been very sore! My chest is better now, and my abs are almost good (on Monday it hurt to do any bending), and my legs are still sore.

 

Current Challenge:

Both Monday and Tuesday I woke up and did my morning routine, but today I totally failed... kept going back to sleep :( 

 

On 7/12/2016 at 8:10 AM, Wild Wolf said:

Very neat. I learn something new from each of your challenges, brother.

 

?u=http%3A%2F%2Fi.ytimg.com%2Fvi%2FGD6qt

 

23 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

Looks like a good plan, rewriting those invisible scripts is a powerful way to change one's life for the better.

 

Have you done a lot of working on this sort of thing, or re framing your frame of reference? If so what strategies did you find worked best? Good to have you following again!

 

23 hours ago, bker1370 said:

Following

 

Welcome!

 

21 hours ago, athousandwords said:

Starts your whole day off right!

 

This! It shifts your frame of reference which helps you stay productive all day.

 

20 hours ago, doctorake said:

"I need to take my phone everywhere with me in case I have a problem"

 

Good one, I know a lot of people have this one going on. Not very harmful in the grand scheme of things as long as you don't let the phone distract you too much I suppose. 

 

19 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

Sounds interesting.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

Thank you.

 

18 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

I'm loving the intuitive way you've set up your challenge, and as for the invisible scripts... I didn't know it had a name. Turns out that's kind of what I'm fighting too.

 

Definitely following along for this!

 

What sort of scripts are you dealing with, if you feel comfortable sharing? I am working on figuring out how to phrase one of my big ones, and hope to post it later today. 

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Level 8 Expert in Obscure Details

 

Challenges: 1 : 234 : 5 : 6The Martian

 

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17 minutes ago, WorldSparrow said:

Have you done a lot of working on this sort of thing, or re framing your frame of reference? If so what strategies did you find worked best? Good to have you following again!

That's actually a big part of the class I proposed for CNF 2016, and yes, I did a lot of this last year. What worked for me was figuring out what messages I want in my head and writing them down every day for several months. I repeat them to myself reflexively now, and what's more I believe them.

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Current Challenge

"By the Most-Righteous-and-Blessed Beard of Sir Tanktimus the Encourager!" - Jarl Rurik Harrgath

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19 minutes ago, WorldSparrow said:

What sort of scripts are you dealing with, if you feel comfortable sharing? I am working on figuring out how to phrase one of my big ones, and hope to post it later today. 

 

At the moment the major ones are:

 

"I need to settle into a safe, sensible career path because otherwise I will not be able to move forward in life" - We can thank family pressure for this one... I'm trying to combat it by online learning and the like. I know eventually I'll edge my way into the career path I want (whether it's safe and sensible I neither know nor care!), but for now I just need to convince myself (and my parents, in the process) that yes, I can actually move forwards despite that.

 

and:

 

"I need to be in a committed relationship with a marriage on the horizon, because that's what people in their mid-twenties do" - ...been single for the past five years, probably isn't going to change any time soon! But so many people I know are getting married or have fallen into long term relationships and the 'you're next' and 'why are you single' comments don't exactly help. How I fight this one is anyone's guess...

 

There are others, but putting them into words is surprisingly difficult. Even these ones required some thought as to the phrasing and they're pretty everyday things to be dealing with!

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

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On 7/12/2016 at 7:57 AM, WorldSparrow said:

Part 2:

It would be great if you all participated in this part! I am going to identify 'invisible scripts' I suffer from and attempt to change them.

Following along to see what invisible scripts other people come up with. I like to think I'm good at avoiding these but I know I've fallen into some (*cough* buying a house *cough*)

 

Some I've gone against, either purposely or just because I'm an odd duck:

Upgrading your house: We bought a 2500+sqft 1950's ranch in 2008. Decided it was way too much for us and downgraded to a 960sqft townhome last year. Most people think we're nuts but we both love our smaller house

 

Once you're married you're supposed to have kids: we just celebrated our 12 year anniversary last month and no kids yet. I don't particularly want any but hubs kinda does, just not yet, so they may happen in a couple more years but we never felt it was the logical "next step"

 

Women (don't) do ____: This one is a really broad one but so much of the stereotypical traits women are supposed to have I don't. I hate shopping, hate shoes, can and will change tires, do home renovations, don't wear makeup, etc.

 

One we're working one- You're supposed to have at least one car for each driver in the house: We currently have two cars but are seriously considering going down to one

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1 hour ago, iatetheyeti said:

"I need to be in a committed relationship with a marriage on the horizon, because that's what people in their mid-twenties do" - ...been single for the past five years, probably isn't going to change any time soon! But so many people I know are getting married or have fallen into long term relationships and the 'you're next' and 'why are you single' comments don't exactly help. How I fight this one is anyone's guess..

 

This is something that should never be rushed. So I think you're perfectly fine being single. If you're happy that way, then that's important. :) 

 

I kind of dealt with the opposite-as I wanted a family and kids young and I was always told to wait and enjoy life and enjoy my twenties as a single guy. I'm here to say that that woulda been a TERRIBLE idea. Sure I coulda had some fun here and there but I woulda been in more trouble at the end of it all. Heather and the boys keep me grounded and I think that's a good thing. Plus, no one needs a promiscuous Wild Wolf roaming about. It's much better that's he's kenneled at home with his family lol.

 

Wolf 

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Wild Wolf

Class: Peerless Scarred/ Height: 6'2 / Weight: 188#

Instagram: @ryanwolfbell / Facebook: Ryan Wolf Bell / Bible App (YouVersion) Ryan Wolf Bell

Current Challenge: Intro to Wolflean

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Last Challenge(s): 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16

Epic Challenges: Welcome to the Fireteam & Wolfpool 

Gotham Project: 1

 

Know, O prince, that once the sun burns out and the earth's core becomes solid and cold, there will come a man to provide the endless energy needed to sustain life and for the planets to keep moving. He is the source of light and the warmth of hope back into the hearts of humanity...." - Dark_Raider

 

A wolf rises in my heart; against my darkness; against my demons; against my despair. I DECLARE WAR!

 

Romans 8:28 (CSB) We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

 

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1 hour ago, Wild Wolf said:

 

This is something that should never be rushed. So I think you're perfectly fine being single. If you're happy that way, then that's important. :) 

 

I kind of dealt with the opposite-as I wanted a family and kids young and I was always told to wait and enjoy life and enjoy my twenties as a single guy. I'm here to say that that woulda been a TERRIBLE idea. Sure I coulda had some fun here and there but I woulda been in more trouble at the end of it all. Heather and the boys keep me grounded and I think that's a good thing. Plus, no one needs a promiscuous Wild Wolf roaming about. It's much better that's he's kenneled at home with his family lol.

 

Wolf 

 

It really is such a double standard. Men get told they should enjoy their twenties and not tie themselves down, women get told to tie themselves down. You should hear some of the things people say when they find out that I don't actually want children...

 

Still, it's like you say, I'm happy just now, and that's just fine :) 

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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Once again WorldSparrow promises another exciting challenge, with some intriguing new goals.

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[Level ??] Rurik, the Thunderer

Class: Stormborn War-Shaman (Path of Giants Barbarian/Conquest Paladin/Elemental Domain Cleric)

BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13

Equipment:  Studded leather armor, war club, plus adventurer's pack containing rations, rope, and nature-based potions. 

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager

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Could have sworn I had already posted and followed.  Weird.  Oh well, I'm here now. 

 

I too have dealt with repercussions from following these scripts you speak of.  First serious relationship at 20.  Married at 22.  Bought a house at 25. 

 

If I hadn't snapped out of it I would have a kid now with someone I was never supposed to spend my life with.  Still going to be dealing with the house decision for a couple years until the lease with my renters is up.

 

Looking forward to this challenge and the introspection I think it's going to force on me.

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Currently...

Playing (Video Game): RDR2

DMing: Tyranny of Dragons.  First session 11/29.

 

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Primary Goal:

Thanks to @iatetheyeti I have added burpies to my morning routine goal as punishment if I don't wake up on time! 

 

Character Goal:

Dalvin Lotz is described as eating 'mechanical, as if not even tasting the food. He could react the same way to a meal pack as a gourmet meal.' So for my first character goal I am going to work on curbing my cravings. I don't have many, but I do often crave pizza or other hot cheesy foods. One bad habit is to get pizza when I get gas. 

 

Invisible Scripts:

"I have to be perfect because people wont respect me if I'm not." to go along with this, "No one respects me."

 

Not sure how it got started, but perhaps it is because I am fairly naturally gifted. This has meant that most of my life people haven't complimented me often, I also have a naturally confident personality even when I am not. Tie this in with the fact that I am short (shortness is proven to be the most discriminated factor when choosing CEOs and other leadership in companies) and you have a perfect storm for someone who is afraid he isn't good enough. It is my theory that this is what stemmed my social withdrawal, as I am so afraid of trying anything in front of anyone. I feel a strong need to perfect it in private first. So if it is a game or task I am good at, I am all for it, but trying something new is very hard. That is why I had to get a home gym and couldn't work out in public ones... :( 

 

The Fix: 'There is no such thing as failure, just a beta test for a newer Sparrow.' Don't pass judgement on myself, just be the best Sparrow I can be. Also gain respect through love and not achievements.

 

Any thoughts or recommendations from the group?  

 

12 hours ago, Tanktimus the Encourager said:

That's actually a big part of the class I proposed for CNF 2016

 

Well now I know I am on the right track!

 

11 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

"I need to settle into a safe, sensible career path because otherwise I will not be able to move forward in life"

 

Yep, that is a common one. Ironically enough, my father burned the opposite into my brain. He caused me to think you were worthless if you 'settled' for a job that just paid the bills, and instead should be doing something you are passionate about. That invisible script has made me very unhappy until I finally started to come to terms with it. I think the key is just to make the best of where you are and not stress too much where you are going! Catastrophic disasters not withstanding, most people can make a comfortable living no matter what they do. 

 

12 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

"I need to be in a committed relationship with a marriage on the horizon, because that's what people in their mid-twenties do"

 

12 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

'why are you single' comments don't exactly help

 

Yes, people love to try and put their frame of reference onto others, don't they? But hey, it's only natural. The one us married people get is 'when are you having kids/another one?' Maybe it is more that asking about the future is an easy thing to talk about? We are hardwired to keep going forward, even if it isn't the best choice for us! One thing I will say is that if you are happy single you will always be happy in a relationship as well, but it is harder the other way around.

 

11 hours ago, Maigahane said:

Upgrading your house: We bought a 2500+sqft 1950's ranch in 2008. Decided it was way too much for us and downgraded to a 960sqft townhome last year. Most people think we're nuts but we both love our smaller house

 

Once you're married you're supposed to have kids: we just celebrated our 12 year anniversary last month and no kids yet. I don't particularly want any but hubs kinda does, just not yet, so they may happen in a couple more years but we never felt it was the logical "next step"

 

Women (don't) do ____: This one is a really broad one but so much of the stereotypical traits women are supposed to have I don't. I hate shopping, hate shoes, can and will change tires, do home renovations, don't wear makeup, etc.

 

Nicely done, true rebel spirit! One that always gets me is that people think everyone wants a huge house... I would much rather have one just big enough! 

 

11 hours ago, Maigahane said:

One we're working one- You're supposed to have at least one car for each driver in the house: We currently have two cars but are seriously considering going down to one

 

My in-laws are even worse... they believe you should have one for each driver AND and extra in case one breaks down. My father, on the other hand, always criticized people who had more than one car. You can walk to most things you need unless you live in the country. I am struggling to find where I sit on that continuum. Thoughts from any other rangers on this one? 

 

10 hours ago, Wild Wolf said:

better that's he's kenneled

 

Ok... NO ONE tell Mrs Wolf that our friend likened their marriage to a kennel... :P 

 

9 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

 

Still, it's like you say, I'm happy just now, and that's just fine

 

Amen!

 

7 hours ago, Rurik Harrgath said:

Once again WorldSparrow promises another exciting challenge, with some intriguing new goals.

 

It is strange to think only a couple months ago it was just Rurik an Sparrow in a field killing zombies! Thank you for your support brother.

 

3 hours ago, Broba Fett said:

 

Looking forward to this challenge and the introspection I think it's going to force on me

 

Resistance is futile! 

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Level 8 Expert in Obscure Details

 

Challenges: 1 : 234 : 5 : 6The Martian

 

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19 minutes ago, WorldSparrow said:

It is strange to think only a couple months ago it was just Rurik an Sparrow in a field killing zombies! Thank you for your support brother.

 

I had a feeling you would carve out a comfortable place here.  The makings of greatness and all that.  ;)

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[Level ??] Rurik, the Thunderer

Class: Stormborn War-Shaman (Path of Giants Barbarian/Conquest Paladin/Elemental Domain Cleric)

BRUTALITY 11 | FINESSE 10 | VIGOR 11 | INSIGHT 14 | WILL 13

Equipment:  Studded leather armor, war club, plus adventurer's pack containing rations, rope, and nature-based potions. 

 

"Rangers have to at least give up on pants. It's a special rule we enacted after Rurik became a Guild Leader.” – DarK_RaideR

"Did I just get my ass kicked by a member of Metallica meets History Channel's Vikings?" - Wild Wolf

"By the Well-Oiled-and-Meticulously-Groomed Beard of Rurik!" - Tanktimus the Encourager

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1 hour ago, WorldSparrow said:

Primary Goal:

Thanks to @iatetheyeti I have added burpies to my morning routine goal as punishment if I don't wake up on time! 

 

Haha, maybe don't go thanking me just yet!

 

1 hour ago, WorldSparrow said:

'There is no such thing as failure, just a beta test for a newer Sparrow.'

 

That is actually such a good way of phrasing it, I'm gonna have to steal it. It sounds like the right fix for your script, and pretty sound advice in general, really.

 

1 hour ago, WorldSparrow said:

Yes, people love to try and put their frame of reference onto others, don't they? But hey, it's only natural. The one us married people get is 'when are you having kids/another one?' Maybe it is more that asking about the future is an easy thing to talk about? We are hardwired to keep going forward, even if it isn't the best choice for us! One thing I will say is that if you are happy single you will always be happy in a relationship as well, but it is harder the other way around.

 

They really do, but I've gone beyond the point of making it easy for them. I try for a polite change of conversation, then basically go straight for the kill.

 

Heh, to be brutally honest I think the only reason I'm happy single is first because of habit, and second because I'm essentially a train wreck of a person at the moment, and no one deserves to have to deal with that. But I'm not unhappy, so it still counts for something.

 

...and I can imagine getting asked about kids with the same frequency and intensity is bound to get just as old, just as fast.

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"The old that is strong does not wither, deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken, a light from the shadows shall spring."

 

 

Yeti on Flickr - Facebook - Instagram

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Awesome! Following!

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The Lonely Wolf | Level 9 Worgen Ranger

Instagram | Daily Battle Log | NF Character | Current Challenge: Mad Wolf In A Blue Box

Geek Out- Star Wars. Star Trek. Doctor Who. Firefly. Lost In Space. WoW. Destiny. Legend of Zelda. Mario Kart 64. Dominion.

 

Fate whispered to the lonely wolf,

"you cannot withstand the storm."

The lonely wolf whispered back,

"I am the storm."

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2 hours ago, WorldSparrow said:

Ok... NO ONE tell Mrs Wolf that our friend likened their marriage to a kennel... :P 

 

Maybe it is all the Deadpool from Wolfie, but I have a strange feeling she already knows (and also knows that he likes it LOL)

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Maybe it is all the Deadpool from Wolfie, but I have a strange feeling she already knows (and also knows that he likes it LOL)

Lmao! Bker, you couldn't of said it any better my friend! Hahahaha! For me, "being kenneled" isn't a bad thing :)

Wolf

"Maximum Effort"

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Wild Wolf

Class: Peerless Scarred/ Height: 6'2 / Weight: 188#

Instagram: @ryanwolfbell / Facebook: Ryan Wolf Bell / Bible App (YouVersion) Ryan Wolf Bell

Current Challenge: Intro to Wolflean

Spoiler

Last Challenge(s): 1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9/10/11/12/13/14/15/16

Epic Challenges: Welcome to the Fireteam & Wolfpool 

Gotham Project: 1

 

Know, O prince, that once the sun burns out and the earth's core becomes solid and cold, there will come a man to provide the endless energy needed to sustain life and for the planets to keep moving. He is the source of light and the warmth of hope back into the hearts of humanity...." - Dark_Raider

 

A wolf rises in my heart; against my darkness; against my demons; against my despair. I DECLARE WAR!

 

Romans 8:28 (CSB) We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God, who are called according to His purpose.

 

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11 hours ago, WorldSparrow said:

My in-laws are even worse... they believe you should have one for each driver AND and extra in case one breaks down. My father, on the other hand, always criticized people who had more than one car. You can walk to most things you need unless you live in the country. I am struggling to find where I sit on that continuum. Thoughts from any other rangers on this one? 

This one can really depend on your situation. Hubs and I grew up way out in the country (we graduated together in a class of 40, one of the biggest in the school) where a car for each adult was an absolute necessity and cars for teenage drivers was almost as necessary. And I can see the argument for an extra car our there, you either have two newer, very reliable cars that cost money, or you have three older, not as reliable cars that are cheaper.

 

We just moved last year to a place where a car for each of us isn't completely needed. I've always lived in the midwest which is more sprawling and less likely to have everything in walking/biking distance that I have a hard time believing that very many households could go down to one car. Even in our situation I feel some of it is luck that we can now consider it

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11 hours ago, WorldSparrow said:

The Fix: 'There is no such thing as failure, just a beta test for a newer Sparrow.' Don't pass judgement on myself, just be the best Sparrow I can be. Also gain respect through love and not achievements.

 

I like that!  The other mantra I keep in mind a lot is "Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes with everyone else's highlight reel."  It's cliche, but true. Before Facebook/the internet/whatever you'd only hear about other people's accomplishments from time to time.  Today, it's like we're seeing a parade of everyone's progress coming from all angles. It's hard to remember that these things that time, and you're not seeing the hard work that goes into those achievements.

 

11 hours ago, WorldSparrow said:

Yep, that is a common one. Ironically enough, my father burned the opposite into my brain. He caused me to think you were worthless if you 'settled' for a job that just paid the bills, and instead should be doing something you are passionate about. That invisible script has made me very unhappy until I finally started to come to terms with it.

 

I've struggled with that one too - my sister knew from a young age that she wanted to be an opera singer and was very passionate and dedicated to her goal. I never really felt that passionate about any career choice; I like my job in web development, but mostly it pays the bills.  These days I'm coming around to thinking that it's okay; I'm privileged to have a job that earns good money and allows me to travel and pursue things I enjoy after work.  But honestly I wonder if I will always regret that I never had a true passion that I could follow.  

 

11 hours ago, WorldSparrow said:

Yes, people love to try and put their frame of reference onto others, don't they? But hey, it's only natural. The one us married people get is 'when are you having kids/another one?' 

 

Ugh. That one hurts.  Especially when you're actively trying to conceive and well-intentioned friends keep asking when you're going to have a kid.  Um, maybe when my uterus decides to cooperate??  

 

Seriously though, people think that because something makes them happy (kids, a relationship, a big house, etc) that it will make everyone happy. These days I try to tell myself to just enjoy where I am, and stop worrying about the next milepost.

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