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RisenPhoenix

RisenPhoenix Really Doesn't Know What's Going On

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Ayup.  Not a damned clue.

 

I suspect I'll just be rambling.  Maybe crosspost my workout logs in here from my battle log.  But since I got tossed into FUNemployment last week, my brain is just focused on surviving.

 

For the moment, I made a few key decisions on how to tackle my current predicament.  One, I still need to watch what I eat - my goal is to be below 200 pounds or 15% body fat by the time Camp rolls around.  Totally doable.  So eat well, work out.  Goal is two workouts a day, barring either a heavy workout (read: Stairs) or holding back because of an injury-feeling thing.  Two, I need to get some adulting out the way.  Like getting my car inspected.  You know.  The car I've been saying get inspected for like, 8 challenges now.  I also need to clean the apartment and prepare for a new roomie, and cleaning my room would be great.  Three, the actual job hunting is going to be a bit more lax this time.  I burnt myself out job hunting last time, looking/hunting for 10 hours a day most of the time.  So I'm going to tackle it one search engine at a time.  Exhaust them for things that look interesting, and then call it a day.

 

My goal is to keep sanity moving.  Not burn out.  And maybe come out in a better, slightly more stable place than before.  Oh, and get a bunch of aikido classes in.

 

 

Or maybe the phone call I have scheduled on Friday is a job offer, and I don't even really need to worry about this stuff.

 

Like I said.  No idea what's going on.

 

--------

 

Some Guidelines to follow for myself during the challenge:

-Two physical activities per day

-At least one productive Adulting task

-Drink at least 4L of water during normal work hours, excluding water consumed during/immediately prior to working out

-Eat ~1300 calories prior to aikido

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Hey there my friend.     Poking in to cheer for you, and throw nerd references your way and the like.     Keeping fingers crossed that life unfolds kindly for you!

 

 

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Makes perfect sense. After the roller coaster of job hunting and working at a start-up, you deserve to take some time to chill. Meaning do all the aikido. B)

 

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Following along, naturally.  Definitely keep your sanity!  The job hunt, understandably, is kindof a priority.  Do what you gotta do, and come out ahead.  

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On 7/13/2016 at 2:50 PM, Starpuck said:

Hey there my friend.     Poking in to cheer for you, and throw nerd references your way and the like.     Keeping fingers crossed that life unfolds kindly for you!

 

Oh hay there, lady.  How's life goin'?

 

23 hours ago, raptron said:

yo ho yo ho

 

we should ruck and catch some mons. 

 

Um.  Yes.  Ruck hike in the Fells to catch some 'Mons?  Sometime soon?

 

21 hours ago, Mistr said:

Makes perfect sense. After the roller coaster of job hunting and working at a start-up, you deserve to take some time to chill. Meaning do all the aikido. B)

 

Just when I thought life was settling down, right?  Well, time to embrace some heavy ai and harmonize with everything.

 

And yea.  All the aikido.  Though I'm slacking a bit right now.  Skipped last night because exhausted after Stairs and my right leg is being dumn.  And only doing one class tonight, mostly because G is teaching and he's been.... kind of tailoring his classes to my ikkyu exam prep when I'm present.

 

6 hours ago, Oramac said:

Following along, naturally.  Definitely keep your sanity!  The job hunt, understandably, is kindof a priority.  Do what you gotta do, and come out ahead.  

 

That's the plan!  Though if I'm in a bind long enough, I may go and start traveling and visiting Nerds.  Just for a warning for you. :P

 

5 hours ago, Kyellan said:

Yeah man. It's all about sanity, at this point. Just remember, in both the worst of times and the best: this, too, shall pass. =)

 

Right?  Sanity.  That thing.  Hoping for some good things!  Figure I have a month or two befor emy sanity starts worrying too much.  Though I did have a bit of an anxiety attack yesterday for "slacking" on the job hunt.  Stupid brains, shouting that scheduling interview times and exhausting a search engine of options in TWO locations isn't enough and that I'm terrible and lazy and never going to find a job ever again.

 

Brains can be dumb.

 

I may be a bit more open about my brain attacks here so I don't drive Company insane by dropping everything on her.  You all are mostly accustom to my ranting by now, right?

 

1 hour ago, Happienumber said:

Here for moral support! You've got a good approach, having balance is half the battle

 

Thanks!  Hope I can at least provide interesting commentary in the mean time!

 

 

 

So, yesterday was a fun day.  I was pretty productive, actually.  Stairs in the morning with a 45ish pound ruck, where I managed 22 sections.  See?  Evidence:

 

13692880_976498575801581_630036825205884

 

After that I had breakfast with some NP folks.  Initially to chat with Agent Ska, but he was shepparding his kids and I ended up meeting a few other people and chatting while we ate breakfast.  It was nice and relaxing.  Went home, answered a few potential job emails (including setting up that phone call on Friday afternoon with the company I interviewed with last Friday and Tuesday), and did some cleaning and laundry.  And I searched LinkedIn for jobs.  And went grocery shopping.  And batch cooked a few dinners.  I also decided to bite the bullet - I have been thinking of trying to get into a hands-on semi-mindless hobby to get my brain to relax a bit.  I decided to try whittling.  So, er, playing with a knife isn't exactly mindless, but it should be interesting.  I grabbed a few small blocks of pine wood specifically meant for whittling (yea yea, I'm buying wood scraps, but don't have to worry about sizing or making sure they are decently unwarped), and took them home to try some things.  The Art of Manliness suggests you start by trying to carve.... an egg.  It.... was harder than I expected.  Also the block I chose was WAY too big.  So it's not done, but when it is it's going to be more snake egg than robin egg.  But it's at least got the proper curves.  And burned an hour and half of time for me.  I also may have snagged a metal X-wing sculpture to put together at the checkout line. Because Nerd.

 

Decided to skip the dojo because I was exhausted, and just didn't want to feel rushed after sleeping poorly the night before.  Went to bed at a decent hour, and then woke up at 9:30am.   Apparently I've been really sleep deprived, so these late starts for me aren't totally killing me yet.  Woke up, made coffee, and read a book, and then dragged my ass to the gym that's actually where my former job was.  I picked that gym because it was close to work.  I figured I'd workout and then cancel the membership.

 

Pro-tip - even when people say things are a month-to-month basis, do not trust the lying fuckers.  I asked multiple times when I was signing up that it wasn't a year contract and how it was silly to have that because, well, my job might not last past 6 months (AHAHAHAHAHAH - I had hopes), and I'd want to just quit with 30 days notice.  Dude signing me up said that was the case, I squeed some because there were 3 squat racks, and signed off on it.

 

Welp.  Globogym lying fucker.  Turns out it was paperwork for a year membership.  So I cancelled, but got slammed for a $100 cancel fee.  Sigh.  But I suppose I'd rather have the $100 cancel fee than keep paying another $40 for the next 8 months.  I suppose it evens out in my favor, but the lying fucker tried to justify it as he told me so.  Which he definitely didn't, since that was my big concern.  Sadly, my contract does state that it's a year, so I'm SOL.  So all I can do is gripe and remind you all - read the contract, even if you're giddy about squat racks.

 

Okay.  Rant done.  Honest.

 

 

Left the gym and ended up slightly derailed as I wanted to walk home from the subway and the rain made me say no.  Ended up grabbing breakfast/lunch at a cafe with coffee, catching some local pokemon.  Then walked home once the rain stopped, because dammit, the egg I had wasn't going to hatch itself.  Got a bit wet from the rain, but more wet from the humidity that's hanging around Boston right now.  So I got home, reshowered, and I am now currently hiding in my bedroom with the AC on.

 

The dojo is my plan tonight, but only one class, and second class at that.  So a few hours from now I'll be ANOTHER sweaty, damp mess.  But it'll be good fun.  And then tomorrow, hopefully I'll have a job lined up.

 

If I do, it'll be the shortest unemployment ever.  If not, I have another interview lined up on Tuesday.  For a place I interviewed at back in November.  So.  We shall see if THEY still want me.

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11 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

That's the plan!  Though if I'm in a bind long enough, I may go and start traveling and visiting Nerds.  Just for a warning for you. :P

 

You're more than welcome!  Fair warning though, StL humidity makes Boston look like Arizona.  

 

Hopefully the job hunt ends as fast as it started, come Friday! 

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Epic stairs pic.    I'd rest from other stuff too if I did that much, with a ruck on my back.  Oh wait, I'd not have done steps at all!  :D      Neat choice for mindless hobby!   When I was little I wanted to try that.   Can't wait to see a pic of your egg!

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On 7/14/2016 at 3:46 PM, Oramac said:

 

You're more than welcome!  Fair warning though, StL humidity makes Boston look like Arizona.  

 

Hopefully the job hunt ends as fast as it started, come Friday! 

 

I survived Texas.  StL can't be THAT terrible, right?

 

And yea, I hope it ends soon.  Unfortunately that isn't looking like it'll be the case, at least in terms of it ending today.

 

7 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

YESSSS whittling is the best! It's very meditative when you're working on it too. Following along! 

 

It is really soothing.  I just suck at it.  The egg is not a pretty thing, and I attempted an arrowhead last night.  Unfortunately, I got impatient and tried to carve a bit more out than I should have, and the wood split along the grain line and ruined the whole thing.

 

Lesson learned:  Be more patient, especially when things are looking like they are coming along.  And a friend suggested just taking the wood blocks and carving them for now into smaller, irregularly shaped wood blocks.  Get the feel for things that way.  Add in angles, and then divots, and then curves.  Go that way.  I also really need to sharpen my knife I think.  It's sharp enough for now, but I'm thinking more is better in this case.

 

4 hours ago, Starpuck said:

Epic stairs pic.    I'd rest from other stuff too if I did that much, with a ruck on my back.  Oh wait, I'd not have done steps at all!  :D      Neat choice for mindless hobby!   When I was little I wanted to try that.   Can't wait to see a pic of your egg!

 

You should come to Boston to visit.  I'll take you on the Stairs.  It'll be great.  And then you can have stuff at the bakery near by that's a super NP hangout afterwards.  It'll be great.  Egg pictures will wait until I get things I don't feel totally wonky about.  It's.... going to be a while.

 

So, had the phone call with the hiring manager.  No offer, just an official onsite interview offer, plus double checking the role is exactly what I think it is.  It is, which is what makes me excited, but a few answers I gave and talking to the manager from now-defunct job made them worried I don't like repeating experiments.  I don't mind routine experiments, I just want to make sure my brain has something going on as well - which was NOT the case at the old job.  So.  I calmed the hiring manager down and confirmed I knew what I was getting into.  It's a lab position.  I like being in the lab.  Some people count data analysis as Not Lab work, others consider it Lab Work, and my brain flits between the two.  They consider data analysis lab work.  So me saying I wanted half and half lab work/desk work made them worried.  Pretty sure I made them not worried now.

 

That said, I now have an onsite interview next Thursday.  Which will involve a 20 minute seminar that lets people get into my brain and shows my thought process.  So now I just get to not freak out and let impostor syndrome get the better of me.  I know my shit.  I'm methodical.  Give me a start point and a desired end point, and I'll make a path to it.  I just hope I can somehow get my point across that I can do that.  In an efficient manner.  And be independent about it.

 

God I feel so screwed.  Never mind that I've shown I can be awesome.  But damn.  Feel so screwed.

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1 minute ago, RisenPhoenix said:

And yea, I hope it ends soon.  Unfortunately that isn't looking like it'll be the case, at least in terms of it ending today.

 

I also really need to sharpen my knife I think.  It's sharp enough for now, but I'm thinking more is better in this case.

 

Sorry to hear that man. :(  

 

As an Eagle Scout, I can vouch that a sharp knife is infinitely better than a dull one.  

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Now now. Knowing what 's going on is super overrated. I don't recommend it. It makes you crazy.

 

Anyway, you're not an impostor. you are very much yourself, and you're good enough for this job. Or any job you want.

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22 hours ago, Oramac said:

Sorry to hear that man. :(  

 

As an Eagle Scout, I can vouch that a sharp knife is infinitely better than a dull one.  

 

At the end of the day, a presentation and meeting more people isn't too unexpected.  I just really had hope since I have had two interviews and they checked references.  I can't figure out if them checking references ahead of time is a good sign, or just them getting things out of the way since they are a small company and don't want to deal with so many people coming in and that's a weed out tactic.  Guess we'll see next week.

 

As for the knife, I really need to figure out HOW to sharpen it.  Probably should have gotten some gear at the same time as I bought the knife.  Ah well.  Time to make THAT purchase now.

 

14 hours ago, Kishi said:

Now now. Knowing what 's going on is super overrated. I don't recommend it. It makes you crazy.

 

Anyway, you're not an impostor. you are very much yourself, and you're good enough for this job. Or any job you want.

 

Wait, I'm already crazy though.  So are you saying I actually know what's going on then?!

 

Thanks.  I really do need this reminder a lot of the time.  A flaw of mine is I constantly undermine what I know and I'm capable of (I'm sure you've noticed after all this time), but it really does take a hammer to my skull to knock worries out of my head a lot.

 

 

Aikido this morning was fun.  G taught, I got beaten up a lot, and I felt actually pretty solid over all, despite the humidity.  My knee, as I have been saying, has been giving me issues, and I think a partial problem is my ending stance after a throw on the mat.  Our style has us end toes pointed forward, the back foot up off the heel (the idea being your hips are pointed towards uke so energy can be more efficiently directed, and being up on the toes allows for you to drop your center forward a bit more in the end, projecting more power into the throw).  I think I've been keeping my foot a bit too flat and pointed at a 90 degree angle from my body, but still trying to push my hip into the throw, which is making my knee bend in a not-so-good way.  So today I went a bit slower and HEAVILY focused on keeping my toes and knee in line with one another.  Not surprisingly, my knee feels a bit better.  

 

Also still breaking the news to dojo folks about the lost job, which is being met with a lot of shock.  Followed by lots of comments of "Guess you'll be here all the time."  They would be correct.  Following class I went and grabbed coffee with G and his eldest son (few years younger than me, been practicing sporadically for several years - I do believe he would be classified as my sempai, since he started before me), and just chatted about random things.  His son and I geeked out over Mass Effect and other games while waiting for G, then talked martial arts and science and what not while drinking coffee.  I got home and got a text from the soon-to-be-roommate asking what the name of my dojo was - because he wants to start training in something again.  So tomorrow I'm meeting him outside the dojo and he's coming to watch a class.  Should be interesting to see his reaction.  He's a former TKD dude, so I'm curious to see his reaction to a soft art.

 

As for the rest of today... I'm trying to put my unemployment to good use, and I'm attempting to be a better GL.  I've been slacking the last several months because life was dumb.  Should use the spare time I have to partake in this whole voluntary part time gig I have, right?

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I noticed you've been running around here more. This is very appreciated. I do not think I say it enough, but it is.

 

Also, srsly, can't wait for the next Mass Effect. I think my first big project might just be building that gaming PC I promised myself I would, once I figure out what I can do with the money I'll have coming in.

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Hope the interviews go well!

 

Having had knee problems for a long time, make sure you're stretching out hamstrings/IT bands and calves. In addition to watching your position it can help a lot!

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On 7/16/2016 at 3:52 PM, Kishi said:

I noticed you've been running around here more. This is very appreciated. I do not think I say it enough, but it is.

 

Also, srsly, can't wait for the next Mass Effect. I think my first big project might just be building that gaming PC I promised myself I would, once I figure out what I can do with the money I'll have coming in.

 

Years ago now (sheesh.  We are old hats) I said I was going to be around to help you.  I'm ashamed that I got lost and renegged on that promise.  I know it was mostly because I needed to self care, but still.  I had a job and didn't quite live up to it.

 

 

MASS EFFET ZOMG.  Will be SO GOOOOOOOD.  Can't wait.

 

That and No Man's Sky will eat me.

 

 

On 7/17/2016 at 0:45 AM, Toshimi said:

Hope the interviews go well!

 

Having had knee problems for a long time, make sure you're stretching out hamstrings/IT bands and calves. In addition to watching your position it can help a lot!

 

I hope so, too!  Working on a presentation today, tomorrow, and Wednesday for a Thursday meeting.  Hope it works well.

 

I really should roll out my IT bands more.  They are like freaking steel cables.  I just... currently lack space to do so.  My open spaces are taken up by fans, laundry, and a moving roommate's stuff.  I'm too tall to use the remaining spaces.  Though maybe I can try the kitchen...

 

 

So for someone with no challenge, things went pretty well yesterday.  My soon-to-be roommate had expressed interest about looking at my dojo, so I met him there yesterday morning for first class, which Sempai was teaching.  And not only was he teaching, the turn out was actually pretty solid.  Something like 9-10 people for first class on Sunday morning is kind of impressive.  So STBR (Soon To Be Roommate) got a good showing.  Seems like he might actually join, at least for the 3 month trial period.  So that's kinda cool.  I also pointed out how much I'm at the dojo.  I'm there a lot.  He understood, being a former TKD person.

 

The classes were all good, too.  I feel like I managed to work out a few things that have been troubling me.  Or at least giving me issues.  Clearly I have a LOT to work on, but tiny things falling into place is good.  I've felt really stagnant recently, so some tiny breakthroughs helped with the morale.  I know I should expect times where I'm just moving and nothing is quite sinking in, but the last few months have been the first time where I've actually FELT like that.  So maybe this is the breaking point I needed.  I do want to test in December for First Kyu, so I'm thinking that I may re-prioritize aikido hours in the near future.  Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday the dojo has double classes.  So I'm thinking I'm going to start going to those every week so I can nab 8 hours a week.  Wednesday will still be Stairs, and Monday and Friday will maybe be lifting/yoga alternating?  I won't have a rest day, but I don't think if I alternate yoga/lifting that will be a large issue.

 

After class I went to lunch with a bunch of people from the dojo, including Sensei and his wife.  We were going to eat at his place, but, er, Sensei vetoed it.  Too many people went for food, and his place isn't large.  So he was worried we'd stay for too long and he'd lose customers.  Can't blame him for that, but I was kinda banking on his cheap special meal of the day.  Oh well.  He at least let me out of the parking lot for free, so that was cool. Ha.  But it was a nice time.  It WAS interesting to hear him comment on both Original Goober and Big Goober - specifically asking if the latter finally started showing up on time.  With Sensei's wife then chiming in asking if he finally started logging hours properly.  The table mostly laughed.  I didn't laugh, simply because, er, I was the one who kinda started this/brought it to Sensei's attention. Soooooo, felt kinda awkward.  But it does feel good to know my opinion is mostly shared.

 

Anyway, relaxed when I got home.

 

Today I've already batched cook most of my dinners for the week - chicken with various spice rubs.  Pre-bought spice rubs, but I'm lazy and these are tasty.  So win.  I also FINALLY GOT MY CAR INSPECTED.  Yea.  Only two years late.  Ended up getting new windshield wipers, too.  So, that's something I'm happy about.  Granted, it took all of 15 minutes.  It should not have taken me that long to do that shit.  Ah well.  Live and learn.

 

Rest of today is going to be writing this presentation for the interview on Thursday.  Tomorrow I have a meeting/chat about another job at a company I interviewed at back in November (which a friend of mine now works at), so that'll be interesting.  Still waiting to see when I'll finally get unemployment processed, as well.  I have two weeks of money I expect, and while I have more than enough to survive for the time being, I'd rather not start eating my savings just because bureaucracy is taking its sweet ass time.  One issue is the staffing agency I was technically working for is stationed in New Hampshire, rather than Massachusetts, so they have to do some hand waving over my earning from that, which weren't insignificant.  Amazing what happens when overtime is involved.  I'm sure that's slowing things down though.  Sigh.

 

Should get to work, I suppose.  Enough procrastinating.

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5 minutes ago, RisenPhoenix said:

MASS EFFET ZOMG.  Will be SO GOOOOOOOD.  Can't wait.

 

That and No Man's Sky will eat me.

 

I really should roll out my IT bands more.  They are like freaking steel cables.

 

I hear ya!  Mass Effect is gonna be so good.  Looking forward to Star Citizen as well for the space games.  

 

Steel cables are strong.  So that means your IT bands are strong too, right? :D 

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Added some totally-not-challenge things to the top post:

 

Some Guidelines to follow for myself during the challenge:

-Two physical activities per day

-At least one productive Adulting task, no more than 3 on a job hunt day. 

-Drink at least 4L of water during normal work hours, excluding water consumed during/immediately prior to working out

-Eat ~1300 calories prior to aikido

 

I realized I really like to procrastinate on my job hunt stuff. Partially because I still can barely believe I'm unemployed again. And promising leads scare the shit out of me. But usually my procrastination takes the form of heavy adulting, which is good, but I should pull it back a bit when I'm using it as a cover from doing things I'm not a fan of. 

 

Also realized I don't drink as much water when I'm at home. So time to up my water accountability. Four liters is very, very doable given the weather. Workout-related hydration doesn't count. 

 

And today it dawned on me me that I need to eat probably 1300-1400 calories before aikido. Otherwise I'm just a blob on the mat. Today I had a smudge over 1000 and it felt like I was lead on the mat. So let's avoid feeling that way. 

 

Class tonight was fun otherwise. Got home, at a bunch of food, then hung out with the neighbor for a bit. How getting ready to read and turn in. 

 

Chat/meeting/interview? Tomorrow afternoon. Morning is going to be lots of prep for it. Forward!

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11 hours ago, RisenPhoenix said:

Some Guidelines to follow for myself during the challenge:

-Two physical activities per day

-At least one productive Adulting task, no more than 3 on a job hunt day. 

-Drink at least 4L of water during normal work hours, excluding water consumed during/immediately prior to working out

-Eat ~1300 calories prior to aikido

 

Looks like some good guidelines.  I like it.  

 

10400640-ff63-0131-6fed-0add9426c766.gif

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I was literally thinking of that scene when I wrote that.  Because fo' real.  Guidelines.

 

Like how yesterday I didn't do two physical activities.  Unless sunbathing counts.  In which case I totally did two physical activities.

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On 7/16/2016 at 2:16 PM, RisenPhoenix said:

but it really does take a hammer to my skull to knock worries out of my head a lot.

O M G.   Do I know this thing.   LOL.  Srsly.    And then you worry about how much damage the hammer leaves!    I grok you on this.  No helpful bits of advice, other than, "Hey, at least we identify that bit of quirk!"   

 

 

37 minutes ago, Oramac said:

Looks like some good guidelines.  I like it.  

 

10400640-ff63-0131-6fed-0add9426c766.gif

OMG LOL!  Well played Oramac!  So perfect!    And double so that RP was thinking of this scene when he wrote it!   Squee!

 

 

On 7/16/2016 at 2:52 PM, Kishi said:

Also, srsly, can't wait for the next Mass Effect. I think my first big project might just be building that gaming PC I promised myself I would, once I figure out what I can do with the money I'll have coming in.

 

I am seriously freaking my shiznit out over this.  And debating... do I do a full 3 game replay prior to Andromeda, even though there is NOTHING overlapping it?  Or do I leave my last play through, which played out exactly as I had wanted it to, as my memory of MY ME world?

 

Also ...Kishi, you get that PC, and you are going to have a serious stalker that will do her best to ruin your plans of betterment by trying to drag you off into forum/pbp/MMO rp!   >.>   And RP can come too!

 

RP - You're doing well!   Don't let your head convince you otherwise. :)   Because your followers come armed with hammers!

latest?cb=20130205030119

 

 

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