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My first challenge and I'm ready to DO THIS!


evolution

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Day 12, yesterday I totally wasted time in the morning so that one was a big flop.  I did stop carbs as 7 and eating at 8:30 so overall it's been going well.  I got on the scale this morning and was a little bummed not to see any change.  I'm doing my best to remember that I can't control the scale, but what I'm doing now is learned to control my actions and habits much better and that will lead to the physical changes I'm wanting.  I've tried to change quickly in the past by making huge and sweeping changes, but that hasn't been working and turns out to always be temporary.   Far better to go slower and cultivate the habits I can live with long-term.  If it takes a year instead of 3 months this time, so be it.  I've been screwing around for many years the other way and never getting the results I want for any length of time.  I'll keep GRINDING.  

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I didn't post my log for Day 14, probably because it sucked and I was avoiding it.  I went out for an Anniversary dinner with my wife and ended up ignoring my goals and commitments to myself.  No bueno.  Too many carbs, although I would have been okay with that all things considered, but I ate past my cut off time and there was no excuse for that other than my own lapse of discipline.  

 

Day 15 turned out good because I turned it around and didn't eat any carbs past 7pm or eat after 8:30pm.  

 

On Wednesday my family and I are going on vacation for 5 days so that is going to be a struggle I knew was coming but I will do my best to stay as close to the course as I can.  

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7 hours ago, evolution said:

I went out for an Anniversary dinner with my wife and ended up ignoring my goals and commitments to myself.

 

We eat well and do healthy things precisely so that we can enjoy the unhealthy on those rare celebrations! Don't beat yourself up!

 

 

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Level 2 Drow Ranger

I walk alone, but the shadows are company enough.

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Thanks Traxex.

 

Day 16 wasn't perfect but pretty good.  I avoided the morning time wasters and didn't have carbs after 7.  My goal is to stop eating at 8:30 and I ended up having a paleo type bar at 8:45 so I didn't really achieve the goal but it wasn't too bad.  I don't want to be nit-picky with myself and lose the forest for trees, but I also know that small rationalizations and deviations from my commitments have historically grown larger and pretty soon I'm back where I started so I think I need to be firm with myself too.  I want to be able to trust myself when I say I'm going to do or not do something because lately I've sort of known whatever I say is usually bullshit and I don't want that to be how it continues.  I think it's going to be a balancing act but during the challenge I'll err on the side of being too disciplined and "punitive" with myself and when I feel like my actions are more under control I can relax and be what I would consider more reasonable.  So 8:45 isn't a crisis, but I'm not going to start calling it a win either :)

 

Vacation starts tomorrow - that's going to be tough!  I'm not going to flog myself during those 5 days and my days won't be nearly as predictable as they usually are so I expect some slips on the timing of things, but I also don't want to let it become an excuse to destroy myself either.  I'll keep in mind that eating garbage isn't "relaxing" or what "vacation" is about - eating shit all the time is why I feel crummy and is abusive to myself.  I'll keep grinding!  

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Day 17 was no bueno.  I let pre-vacation stress get the better of me and blew off my goals in the evening.  I did good avoiding time wasters in the morning and had a good cardio workout, but the last two hours of the day sucked.  Out flight got delated 3 hours this afternoon so that means we're going to be on the plane during dinner and in the car during lunch, so I'm going to do my best to make good choices but I won't be able to check off all my goals today because the logistics won't make that realistic.  The best I can do is accept that reality, not let it throw me, and make the best decisions I can given the curveballs life throws.  I won't let perfect be the enemy of better.

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Day 17-22: I'm back from vacation and I did a supremely poor job of sticking to my goals while I was gone.  Boo.  Boo.  So far today I am back into the challenge and recommitted to kicking ass the rest of the way.  I won't let 5 bad days act as an excuse to throw in the towel - I will RISE and begin my grind once again!

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Day 24 - I avoided my morning time wasters but blew the rest of my goals again.  Today I'm taking my daughter and her friend to an amusement park a couple hours away and we'll be there all day so I'm going to do my best and I'm even attempting to sneak in some healthy outside food they don't allow.  The hard part will be sitting with them while they're eating what will likely be pizza and fries and whatnot and not having any - I'll view it as my challenge for the day, my chance to prove myself, be victorious, and grow stronger with every good decision.  Time to prepare for the battle!

battlecry300.jpg

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Day 25 - I brought good foods to eat in the park yesterday for lunch but we ended up staying there hours longer than I planned on and I ended up doing pretty shitty from that point forward.  Ugghh.  Frustrated with myself for continually repeating the same behaviors that keep me stuck and miserable.

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On August 12, 2016 at 7:36 AM, evolution said:

Frustrated with myself for continually repeating the same behaviors that keep me stuck and miserable.

 

You and all the rest of us! Welcome to the human race. :) 

 

What helps me sometimes (I'm by no means an expert at this, keep in mind) is to take a step or two back and examined what triggered the behavior. Then when I've identified it, take another mental step back and identify what triggered the trigger. Depending on how deeply ingrained the behavior is, or how determined my brain is to protect it, it might take a few tries to get to the real root cause. Then I can strategize around it. Sometimes you have to come at things a little sideways.

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"'It's time for a few small repairs,' she said." - Shawn Colvin

 

 

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Good advice Bookish, thanks!

 

Day 26 was better - I avoided my time wasters (this is getting easy), I had a good cardio workout, and I stopped eating at 8:30 like I'm supposed to.  However, I didn't stop carbs at 7pm like my goal says, I ended up having some fresh cherries so it wasn't the best move but could have been a lot worse.  I feel a lot more on track today and stepped on the scale this morning to happily see that I haven't gained any weight from where I was prior to my vacation so I was happy and surprised to see that.  Onward and upward the grind continues!

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Day 31 - good morning with no distractions and in the afternoon I got my workout in that wanted to.  The evening wasn't so good because I ate carbs and later than I should have - on the plus side after some reflecting it seems that if I have even a little bit of sugar it kicks off this cycle of craving more and I find it REALLY hard to stop.  I'm much better off with a zero tolerance in that regard since it doesn't seem I'm effectively able to moderate that.  

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