Michi's Uncreative Challenge!

[MichiruSedai]

So, I am totally failing at being creative and thinking of a cool challenge theme.  Therefore I'm just gonna be random!  I'm mostly using the same goals, because they are working for me!

 

Nutrition Challenges

 

Track ALL THE THINGS!

Good eating, bad eating, exercise, pedometer.... it all goes into MFP.   I've also found it's helpful to track BEFORE I eat/drink - then I can decide if it's really worth it to have those cookies.

 

Drink LOTS OF WATER!

I've gotten into the soda habit a bit more again outside of work.  That needs to stop.  I'd also like to reduce my daily work soda - right now I buy those 1.25L bottles of Diet Mt Dew and drink one every day.  I think I'd like to make one of those last two days.  I'm going to gradually cut down over the course of the challenge, with a goal being that at the end of the challenge, I'm buying 2-3 a week instead of 5-6 a week. And more more soda outside of work!  If I need caffeine, coffee or green tea.

 

Fitness Challenge

 

Do something active EVERYDAY!

Options include (but are not limited to): 10k steps, 30 minutes on my gazelle, 30 minutes biking, or a trip to the gym

 

Level Up My Life Challenge

 

Watch some NEW THINGS!

I tend to rewatch the same few TV series over and over.  I'm not going to completely eliminate that, but the rules are that I can only rewatch something if:

1. it is background noise for cleaning

2. it is background noise for grinding in WoW

3. it is background noise to help combat insomnia

If I am actually watching TV to pay attention and watch it, not as a distraction from something, it must be something I haven't already watched.  I know this goal is silly, but I gotta get out of my rut!  This will probably also help me to read more books, since I won't just turn on the same crap to watch over and over.

 

 

LET'S DO THIS!!

 

 

Log everything on MFP

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

 

Gradually decrease soda

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

 

Something active every day

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

 

Diversify my leisure watching

Week 1:

Week 2:

Week 3:

Week 4:

[Leigh]

I highly recommend Blacklist if you want something new to watch. It just finished season 3 and the cast and writing are excellent

[MichiruSedai]

I shall add it to the queue!

[MichiruSedai]

Not a bad Day 1!   My misstep was drinking soda, because I was dumb and forgot the challenge started.  I'm sitting at about 9k steps, so I need to walk around a little more.  My planned hike got rained out so I have been taking as many mini-walks as possible to hit my steps goal, and a fun way to be outside with my son.  I haven't watched anything new today, but most the day was errands/cleaning/batch cooking/reading, so that's OK.  I not only logged today's food, but since I meal plan on Sundays, I logged my breakfast/lunch/dinner for M/Tu/W/Th/F already, will just need to add whatever I have for my after work snacks.

 

The challenge the next two weeks will be the insanity of the summer swim lessons schedule for my kiddo.  Lessons on M/Tu/W/Th for two weeks, instead of just on Tu for 8 weeks.  That does, however, mean I'll be at the gym four days a week, so I have zero excuses not to get in all my workouts!

[MichiruSedai]

Day two:

 

Soda - only drank at work

MFP - everything logged

Activity - 11,113 steps so far + 45 minutes at the gym

TV - I've been reading instead of watching this evening

[Sylvaa]

22 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

 

TV - I've been reading instead of watching this evening

 

What are you reading?

[MichiruSedai]

The Chronicles of the Cheysuli series by Jennifer Roberson.   Just started book 3. 

 

Today was... OK.   I'm not feeling very well, I haven't been sleeping very well, and I'm trying to pull out before it gets worse.  Got about 11k steps today, 40 mins at the gym, ate in range, drank the waters.

Good news: I'm finally noticing a difference when I look in the mirror

Bad news: It ain't pretty

 

Spoiler tags for potential NSFW discussion.

I am starting to look... deflated.

 

Not that I had these huge perky boobs before, but now they are looking... flat.

 

I've had the "apron" hanging down at my stomach since giving birth, but now it's bigger, and the sag starts up just beneath where my boobs end.


My upper arms are smaller, but they sag.

 

I'm starting to feel like I'd look better if I was fatter again, because then at least my body didn't sag in so many places.  And I'm still 207 lbs.  I still plan to lose a lot more weight to get to a healthy weight.  Which means it'll all hang and sag more.  I'm already thinking about how much surgery I could justify/afford to remove saggy skin and tighten things up, because it just seems super shitty to me to work so freaking hard and look possibly even worse than before (at least naked; clothed I already look better than before).

 

I feel like my choices are:

stop trying - stay current size - look partially deflated

stop trying - go back to my old ways and regain weight - be massively obese but less saggy

keep trying - get down to a healthy weight - look like a melted candle of a person

 

I wish I could say that my sole motivations for doing all this was health, and the good example for my son, and etc.  But let's get real, I wanted to look good. For once in my life I wanted to look good.  I've been fat since I was 12. I'm not classically beautiful by any stretch, so I don't even have the "you have such a pretty face" thing going for me.

 

Honestly a bit motivator has also been knowing I'll have a larger dating pool, since I have struck out there a lot since my divorce.  But who the hell is going to be attracted to the train wreck my "goal weight" body is going to be?  At least as a fat woman, I could find people to date who like fat women.  I feel like going into the dating world after losing weight will be false advertising - hypothetical dates will see a woman of a healthy size, and then we'll get naked and they'll see the folds and flaps and sags.

 

I wish I had never done this to myself.  I can't undo it.  I can continue to do my damndest to help my son never deal with these issues by teaching him healthy habits from a young age.  I can continue to try to fix what I can and learn to deal with what I can't.  But I'm really having trouble with that "dealing with what I can't" part.

 

And it's stupid, I know, it's so fucking stupid and shallow.  I'm at 65 lbs lost, I should be over the moon!  I'm over halfway to my initial large goal of 100 lbs.  I'm 5 lbs away from the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult.  There is so much good happening here, my hard work is getting results! 

 

But then I look in the mirror.

[Leigh]

When you lose the kind of weight you have lost in a relatively short amount of time it takes a bit of a toll on your skin. Give it some time and it will start to snap back into shape. There are a lot of little things you can do to help it along as well, drinking more water and eating foods that can boost the amount of certain nutrients and proteins that nourish your skin.

Heck taking an epic bath and using a good exfoliant and some really good quality moisturizer can do a world of good as well.

*hugs*

Sent from my LG-K210 using Tapatalk

[deftona]

Super late but I am here to follow! 

 

  Hide contents

 

 

I am starting to look... deflated.

 

Not that I had these huge perky boobs before, but now they are looking... flat.

 

I've had the "apron" hanging down at my stomach since giving birth, but now it's bigger, and the sag starts up just beneath where my boobs end.


My upper arms are smaller, but they sag.

 

I'm starting to feel like I'd look better if I was fatter again, because then at least my body didn't sag in so many places.  And I'm still 207 lbs.  I still plan to lose a lot more weight to get to a healthy weight.  Which means it'll all hang and sag more.  I'm already thinking about how much surgery I could justify/afford to remove saggy skin and tighten things up, because it just seems super shitty to me to work so freaking hard and look possibly even worse than before (at least naked; clothed I already look better than before).

 

I feel like my choices are:

stop trying - stay current size - look partially deflated

stop trying - go back to my old ways and regain weight - be massively obese but less saggy

keep trying - get down to a healthy weight - look like a melted candle of a person

 

I wish I could say that my sole motivations for doing all this was health, and the good example for my son, and etc.  But let's get real, I wanted to look good. For once in my life I wanted to look good.  I've been fat since I was 12. I'm not classically beautiful by any stretch, so I don't even have the "you have such a pretty face" thing going for me.

 

Honestly a bit motivator has also been knowing I'll have a larger dating pool, since I have struck out there a lot since my divorce.  But who the hell is going to be attracted to the train wreck my "goal weight" body is going to be?  At least as a fat woman, I could find people to date who like fat women.  I feel like going into the dating world after losing weight will be false advertising - hypothetical dates will see a woman of a healthy size, and then we'll get naked and they'll see the folds and flaps and sags.

 

I wish I had never done this to myself.  I can't undo it.  I can continue to do my damndest to help my son never deal with these issues by teaching him healthy habits from a young age.  I can continue to try to fix what I can and learn to deal with what I can't.  But I'm really having trouble with that "dealing with what I can't" part.

 

And it's stupid, I know, it's so fucking stupid and shallow.  I'm at 65 lbs lost, I should be over the moon!  I'm over halfway to my initial large goal of 100 lbs.  I'm 5 lbs away from the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult.  There is so much good happening here, my hard work is getting results! 

 

But then I look in the mirror.

 

 

Firstly, there is nothing wrong with wanting to look good. It doesn't make you shallow, or this journey you are on any less noble. Your reasons are your reasons, and you can work on your body for whatever reason you choose. I understand your feelings towards your body but remember, this body is new to you right now and you want to get to a lower weight so there is a lot of changing left for it to do. 

 

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I wish I had never done this to myself.  I can't undo it.  I can continue to do my damndest to help my son never deal with these issues by teaching him healthy habits from a young age.  I can continue to try to fix what I can and learn to deal with what I can't.  But I'm really having trouble with that "dealing with what I can't" part.

 

 

Not all of the changes in your body have been because you let your weight creep up. A lot of the 'problem areas' you mention often come after a woman has given birth and that's a truly amazing accomplishment. As much as you hate the way your body looks right now, it has done a wonderful thing. You grew a person! In your body! Pretty much all by yourself with a little help right at the beginning (of course  ), but the majority of the building of that human you made - your body did that! And that is so freaking awesome you should just let that thought come to you when you are being critical of how you look right now. 

 

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Honestly a bit motivator has also been knowing I'll have a larger dating pool, since I have struck out there a lot since my divorce.  But who the hell is going to be attracted to the train wreck my "goal weight" body is going to be?  At least as a fat woman, I could find people to date who like fat women.  I feel like going into the dating world after losing weight will be false advertising - hypothetical dates will see a woman of a healthy size, and then we'll get naked and they'll see the folds and flaps and sags.

 

 

Who is going to be attracted to you at goal weight? A hell of a lot of people, just as I am sure a lot of people would be attracted to you right now. The way you see your body is definitely not how others see it. I am willing to bet a large amount of money on this. You look in the mirror and see saggy boobs, sexual partners will look at your body and see boobs. They won't be looking at your body and comparing it to others they have seen unless they are assholes and you don't want to be showing your titties to assholes, they don't deserve to see them. Similarly, if anyone thinks of it as 'false advertising' they are also assholes. See previous point about showing your titties to only those who are worthy. And as a fat woman, if someone wanted to have sex with you because you are a fat woman, they would be fetishizing you and you're not a fetish, you're a person. Maybe there are people in the world that would have seen you like this but it doesn't mean they're right and that you should internalise this. 

 

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I'm not classically beautiful by any stretch, so I don't even have the "you have such a pretty face" thing going for me.

 

 

I doubt there are many people who would consider themselves classically beautiful and all the people that come to your mind when you think of this phrase are probably famous and airbrushed to perfection, and/or have a lot of make up on. There is nothing wrong with wearing make up but remember you are seeing everyone else's beautifully produced stage show and comparing this to your 'backstage'. This is not a meaningful comparison and I am sure you're a lot prettier than you think you are.

 

So remember, you're doing great. You've lost a lot of weight and to do this you need some steely will and determination and not many people have this in them. It's natural to feel like your body is alien to you because right now, it is. When you lose a large amount of weight you go through many different bodies on the way to your destination and they stay with you so fleetingly, you don't have time to get used to it before you're wearing a new one again. This will keep happening until you reach your goal weight and have maintained for a while, and it might even stay with you after that. But keep going and try to be kinder to your body. It did, does, and will do amazing things. Try to love it for what it is instead of focusing on things you want to change about it and focus on the things you do like about it. I bet you like your flatter stomach, right? The way it jiggles a little less? Try to stop being critical of it, but until you can do that, for every critical thing you tell yourself about your body try to offset that with a compliment because you need to be kind to yourself and your body. It's the only one you will ever have. 

 

Massive hugs to you, you superstar, you. 

 

[Sylvaa]

I feel you.

 

Spoiler

So there is research - here is a non-medical article for you - that explains most loose skin is actually fat pockets. And if you get down to ~20% body fat for women (+/-) some degree of error, then some sagging (i.e. belly) will diminish. Plus, losing weight slowly will actually help, because your body will be able to naturally adjust more so than with surgery.

 

I used to weigh 250 lbs (I'm at 75 lbs lost) and, while I do have some arm sagging and a bit of a belly sag (maybe from kids), they are slowly decreasing without needing surgery. I have pictures, I will send them if you would like.

 

As to boobs, I'd say 1. work on building chest muscles, which can help with perkiness and 2. if it still bothers you at a lower body fat %, save up and have surgery. Reward yourself for all you hard work!

 

I can also say that I have never had a guy see me naked and say, "eww, your boobs sag, I've changed my mind about sex". It just doesn't happen. And (there is no good way to say this) I've always had repeat customers if you know what I mean. So while you feel self-conscious, most guys are not even considering that. And if they are, then do you really want to be with them anyway? And I said guys because that had been my experience, but the same should totally be true for women. In fact, I'm sure women are feeling those same self-conscious thoughts and are going through the same thing.

 

FWIW, most people don't find themselves to be "classically beautiful" - whatever that means. People are attracted to all kinds of things outside of "traditional" beauty standards (don't get @deftona and I started on this!). 

 

Let's be honest, the concept of "health" is kind of difficult. I mean, we can think of it in terms of what we are able to do (like a number of push-ups or a time on a mile) or standards of acceptability (i.e. blood pressure, cholesterol levels) or absence of disease (like diabetes). But, there really isn't a body shape that is actually indicative of good health. We universally acknowledge that people with lower body fat and more muscle definition are healthier - but that doesn't mean they are free from either of the second two health factors. So having a "selfish" component is good! 

 

We all have times that we feel like it's such a hard journey and get discourage. We all have times that we don't like our body and we don't feel beautiful. It's totally normal! But don't give up on all the progress you have already made because you've hit a low spot. Buy yourself some new underwear and feel beautiful in it!

[MichiruSedai]

Why yes, scale, I totally wanted to wake up today and see the number go higher, after how hard I've worked this week. *grumble*

 

Ladies, thank you. *hugs*  I will address your posts in more detail after work/gym.  But I wanted to say thank you at least while I had a minute.

[Altamarie]

On 7/19/2016 at 8:01 PM, MichiruSedai said:

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

I am starting to look... deflated.

 

Not that I had these huge perky boobs before, but now they are looking... flat.

 

I've had the "apron" hanging down at my stomach since giving birth, but now it's bigger, and the sag starts up just beneath where my boobs end.


My upper arms are smaller, but they sag.

 

I'm starting to feel like I'd look better if I was fatter again, because then at least my body didn't sag in so many places.  And I'm still 207 lbs.  I still plan to lose a lot more weight to get to a healthy weight.  Which means it'll all hang and sag more.  I'm already thinking about how much surgery I could justify/afford to remove saggy skin and tighten things up, because it just seems super shitty to me to work so freaking hard and look possibly even worse than before (at least naked; clothed I already look better than before).

 

I feel like my choices are:

stop trying - stay current size - look partially deflated

stop trying - go back to my old ways and regain weight - be massively obese but less saggy

keep trying - get down to a healthy weight - look like a melted candle of a person

 

I wish I could say that my sole motivations for doing all this was health, and the good example for my son, and etc.  But let's get real, I wanted to look good. For once in my life I wanted to look good.  I've been fat since I was 12. I'm not classically beautiful by any stretch, so I don't even have the "you have such a pretty face" thing going for me.

 

Honestly a bit motivator has also been knowing I'll have a larger dating pool, since I have struck out there a lot since my divorce.  But who the hell is going to be attracted to the train wreck my "goal weight" body is going to be?  At least as a fat woman, I could find people to date who like fat women.  I feel like going into the dating world after losing weight will be false advertising - hypothetical dates will see a woman of a healthy size, and then we'll get naked and they'll see the folds and flaps and sags.

 

I wish I had never done this to myself.  I can't undo it.  I can continue to do my damndest to help my son never deal with these issues by teaching him healthy habits from a young age.  I can continue to try to fix what I can and learn to deal with what I can't.  But I'm really having trouble with that "dealing with what I can't" part.

 

And it's stupid, I know, it's so fucking stupid and shallow.  I'm at 65 lbs lost, I should be over the moon!  I'm over halfway to my initial large goal of 100 lbs.  I'm 5 lbs away from the lowest weight I've ever been as an adult.  There is so much good happening here, my hard work is getting results! 

 

But then I look in the mirror.

 

 

I totally get this and I worry about it because of my anxiety i worry that my husband won't find me attractive. (Trust me i have been VERY wrong about that.).

Also like what the other wonderful women have said drinking more water and moisturizing can help. I also know a good tightening cream that actually work that I can talk to you about.

I can guarantee you that their are already people who find you beautiful and as other have said no man is going to turn you down once your already naked (unless they are assholes and as @deftona already pointed out they don't deserve to see then!) We are all here for you and are going though it too *hugs*

[MichiruSedai]

OK, replies as promised, but kinda short since this is the week of little to no spare time and I gotta go to work soon.  >_<

 

Leigh, moisturizing is a great idea. I don't know if it will actually help with tightening things or not, but it WOULD be good for my body. In fact you inspired me to a mini-challenge within a challenge of taking better care of myself.

 

Deftona, you make very good and true points. In fact, I believe and agree with everyone you said, 98% of the time!  This post was written during the other 2% when I let evil depression sock puppet's rantings get to me.  I really appreciate you taking the time to section by section disprove my post, though - seeing it in black and white from someone other than me makes it seem more correct, if that makes sense.  Just like I've learned to disbelieve the voice of depression saying mean things to me, I'm still working on believing the voice of happiness saying nice things to me.

 

Sylvaa, buying something new (maybe not underwear, I just bought those, and while they don't make me feel pretty, it is nice to wear undies that fit - my ones from 65lbs ago were pretty baggy, lol) is a great idea. I'm actually thinking of buying a Holiday goal dress.  I started last December, and I'm kinda hoping to be down 100 lbs by this December.  34 lbs to go in 4.25 months. It'll be close, but it's not impossible.

 

Kelley Gammell thanks, and you're absolutely right. I've been able to find plenty of dates/relationships in the last few years, and most of those were at 65 lbs heavier.  I'm still working on finding myself attractive, even when I have proof that other people have done so.  I'm glad your husband is so good to you and hope you don't have to question as much if he'll find you attractive.

 

Down 2.8lbs this week, and on track with all my goals for the week.  I don't think I'll hit my 8 lbs lost for the month of July I was hoping to hit, thanks to the week of vacation, but I'm on track for a good overall loss (5.4lbs for July so far).

[MichiruSedai]

Gaming weekend = bad food. BUT!  I stayed in my calorie range!      Yesterday we played D&D, board games, and Magic. Almost all the snacks were healthy - my bro brought a veggie tray, preztles, and cookies.  I brought baby carrots, sliced cucumber, green grapes, red grapes.  We did order Chinese for dinner, and I'm paying for it with a huge sodium gain today.  >_<   But I also met my activity goal - 8000 steps + 15 minutes on the gazelle.

Today has been a bit lower key. We took a roughly five mile hike this morning, and I'm at almost 14k steps for the day so far.  Got to see some pretty nature stuffs too!

 

 

[Leigh]

Ahh frogs are awesome!!

Sent from my LG-K210 using Tapatalk

[MichiruSedai]

We saw so many frogs!!  It was like.. take a step, frogs jump away.  Was pretty neat!

[MichiruSedai]

Three pound "gain" over the weekend which I'm assuming is sodium from the Chinese food.  Fingers crossed it goes down quickly and I lose just a bit more!  I saw 204.8 on Saturday morning, and I'd LOVE to hit my 202 goal by 8/1.  I don't know if that's realistic though, so we'll see.

This is another week of gym M/T/W/Th while son has his swimming lessons, so off I go!

[Vibrantella]

Hi, I just wanted to say that I feel exactly like you (some of the time, like you).  I have shed 35 kg (around 75lbs) in the last year or so, and I have almost half as much still to go till an arbitrary "healthy weight" (BMI of 23).  However, I have been maintaining rather then losing weight for the last few months, and the funniest thing is - my body is continuing to change shape nevertheless.  Waist tightening, apron lifting and double chin shrinking.  Our skin is part of our miraculous living matrix, and if we give it nutritional building blocks and some time, it will rebuild the right connections to the underlying muscles and fascia.  Good luck and keep up the good work!

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Vibrantella!     I know logically these things take time... but sometimes my emotions get impatient and spew negativity all over the place. Bleh!

 

At 12k steps just from the work day, heading to the gym shortly.  Wheeeeeee!

[Loveable_Bouncer]

Theme's... I ended up find the most success after giving some freedom with the theme last month. Maybe you'll figure that out!

 

On 7/16/2016 at 11:39 AM, Leigh said:

I highly recommend Blacklist if you want something new to watch. It just finished season 3 and the cast and writing are excellent

Thanks Leigh, added to my own netflix list for future rewards!

 

 

Just going over your body image topic....(I can sound like a repeat... but something is telling me to share):
 

Spoiler

 

I personally am a girl that starting gaining weight for the protection, why I think I think I feel far more confident then I did a year ago when I added muscle in (however am the heaviest on the scale that I have ever been). I know from experiences, that the body is just a tool when it comes to being open with anyone. That stupid evil mind can be so mean, I myself am just working on how to be open to the right people to get my daily hugs and cuddles (so far just got the point of not being lonely anymore).

 

So again you being able to have a dating experience in the past! Its saying something! Along with how your body was able to survive to make your (hopefully wonderful) son.

 

 

And as I was catching up, I heard Katy Perry's new song... Sorry if your not a Katy Perry fan, the lyrics though are at least worth listening to at least once.

 

On 7/24/2016 at 2:22 PM, MichiruSedai said:

We saw so many frogs!!  It was like.. take a step, frogs jump away.  Was pretty neat!

After having my work's showers get invaded by little frogs, and watching them grow throughout the summer when a Camp counselor. I think I would have been more skirmish about all the frogs...

 

Giving you luck girl! In the end it sounds like you leveled up, and are understanding what the next quest is!

 

[MichiruSedai]

I like Katy Perry!  That's a good song, thanks for sharing. 

[Loveable_Bouncer]

1 hour ago, MichiruSedai said:

I like Katy Perry!  That's a good song, thanks for sharing. 

Ooh I was lucky! Glad you liked it!

[Altamarie]

Gaming weekend = bad food. BUT!  I stayed in my calorie range!  [emoji5]    Yesterday we played D&D, board games, and Magic. Almost all the snacks were healthy - my bro brought a veggie tray, preztles, and cookies.  I brought baby carrots, sliced cucumber, green grapes, red grapes.  We did order Chinese for dinner, and I'm paying for it with a huge sodium gain today.  >_

Today has been a bit lower key. We took a roughly five mile hike this morning, and I'm at almost 14k steps for the day so far.

Way to stay under that goal on a gaming weekend i still struggle with that. What do you play in dnd?

That sounds like a jice walk too. Very pretty

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks, Kelley!   My character is a fighter/warrior, but I refer to her as a swordie.  I'm the one that runs into the middle of everything with a giant sword and starts hacking and slashing, lol.

 

Yeah, I'm really fortunate in having several beautiful state parks nearby to go walking in.

 

Getting ready to hit the gym. Thinking today is gonna be recumbent bike and book.  Honestly I really would prefer not to go (this four days in a row stuff is brutal), but, swimming lessons for kiddo means i have to, and since I'm there, I'd rather read my book sitting on a bike and pedaling, than just read in a chair in the lobby.

[Leigh]

Oddly this is one of my favourite things to do at the gym, although using those bikes makes all my toes go numb because the seat puts too much pressure on some random nerves that run down my leg

 

I should get a super duper ultra waterproof case for my phone and read while floating around the pool instead haha