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Hira takes steps to love herself


Hiraedd

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Hey all.

 

Late to the party, but I'm trying again.  It's been hard ever since my breakdown in May and although I've made some progress with counseling and medication I'm still mildly depressed and seriously anxious.  My counselor has given me a book called 10 days to self esteem, because she believes this is a major contributing factor in my struggles (or rather the lack of it).

 

So here's what it looks like:

1. Morning Personal Wellness 

2. One or two pages of Self Esteem work each day that I am able

3. Abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation as needed

4. Evening Personal Wellness

 

I will update with more tomorrow, as this is all I have energy for.

 

Love,

Hira

  • Like 1

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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Hi! *hugs*

How are you doing? Y'know, anything you need help for, just ask us. Ok?

Totally awesome, warm, lovely cuddlehug *hugs*

Thinking about you from time to time, because the words you have said to me earlier, (well, quite a whiles back) mean a lot. And because you are lovely, and so very precious. <3 

 

  • Like 2

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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Hi all!

 

Things have been really busy here, so I'll avoid the day-by-day breakdown and just go for a summary with some highlights.

 

1. Morning Personal Wellness 

Ranging from -1 to 4

 

2. One or two pages of Self Esteem work each day that I am able

done 4 days

 

3. Abdominal breathing, progressive muscle relaxation as needed

I think I prefer this as a daily habit, so I'm switching it up. At least once every day and as needed.

 

4. Evening Personal Wellness

Ranging from -1 to 3

 

As you can see I had a couple of really difficult days.  I met a friend in the city (3 hours away) for a visit.  I needed 3 naps during the day to deal with all the social interaction and 2 breaks on the way home (it took me 5 hours instead of 3), but I did it, listening to my body and taking breaks when I needed to.  I saw a dear friend whom I haven't seen since November and even though it took me two days to recover afterwards, I am glad I did it.

 

The Self Esteem work is hard.  I had to confront the fact that according to the book I am still mildly depressed and severely anxious even though I'm on medication.  In reality this is not news but somehow seeing it in black and white was difficult.  The book has been helpful already though.  One incident in particular comes to mind:  I was working on an outdoor project the day after I'd come back from visiting my friend in the city.  My dog kept getting in the way and making a mess.  I was angry at him, but then realized that it wasn't his behaviour that was making me angry: he always does that (he's partially blind and very clumsy but very loving, hence being in the middle of my project).  It was me already feeling low that caused me to react that way when normally I would laugh it off and give him some love.  This is something the self esteem work has been focusing on: recognizing where the feelings are coming from.

 

On 7/27/2016 at 0:56 AM, Fearkiller said:

Hi! *hugs*

How are you doing? Y'know, anything you need help for, just ask us. Ok?

Totally awesome, warm, lovely cuddlehug *hugs*

Thinking about you from time to time, because the words you have said to me earlier, (well, quite a whiles back) mean a lot. And because you are lovely, and so very precious. <3 

 

Thank you so much, Fearkiller.  The cuddlehugs and words are so soothing to my ragged heart today.  You are so sweet.

 

16 hours ago, Eirlys said:

Sending love your way, Hira xx

Right back at you.  Hope you and snowdrop are well! 

 

I hope you are all well.  

 

I love you all,

Hira

  • Like 3

Hiraedd the Twice Risen:

Hamadryad; Pilgrim

battle log

 

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7 hours ago, Hiraedd said:

This is something the self esteem work has been focusing on: recognizing where the feelings are coming from.

That is a really big accomplishment! It's such a hard thing to do, especially because you have to do it while you are upset. 

  • Like 1

Race: Elf   ~   Class: Druid Apprentice   ~   Level: 12

Current Challenge

2015-2016 Challenges: OneTwo, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

2018-2019 Challenges: (first one in progress)

 

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Ouch.  Those -1's.. *winces* I can guess it must've been pretty shitty.

 

Quote

The Self Esteem work is hard.  -- --  It was me already feeling low that caused me to react that way when normally I would laugh it off and give him some love.  This is something the self esteem work has been focusing on: recognizing where the feelings are coming from.

Randomly curious, what kinda stuff is in that book? Seems to be helping ^-^

 

Quote

Thank you so much, Fearkiller.  The cuddlehugs and words are so soothing to my ragged heart today.  You are so sweet.

Funny, people keep saying that from time to time... Ever wonder what it means? :P

Naw, I'm just glad it helped.

 

Some more *hugs* for a good measure :love_heart::D

Treasures for the dark days, see? :wub:

 

And just so you know.. You cannot ever fuck up anything so bad you wouldn't have a place among friends.

There's always hugs for you here.

"There is beauty in hardship / There are poems in grief" -Assemblage 23, Damaged

| STR:2.25 | DEX:2.25 | STA:2 | CON:1.25 | CHA:3.25 | WIS:7 | A place I will collect my woots - if I remember

Challenges | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |  6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 15.115.2 |

Milythaels'  HOoRAY for which I am grateful | Today, right now, I am alive. And that is good.

It is amazing the power of those small gestures of love and kindness have on our lives. <3 - Liberator

"I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together with good intentions." - Augusten Burroughs, Magical thinking:True stories

"Pick up the pieces and keep going, one painfully slow step at a time." Hiraedd the twice-risen, hamadryad. 

"Spread love and understanding. Use force if necessary." - Leon Trotsky

"Let me think about the people I care about the most, and when they fail or disappoint me, I still love them, I still give them chances, and I still see the best in them. Let me extend that generosity to myself." zefrank1, An Invocation for Beginnings

"I don't feel guilty for wanting. That's like being mad because you have to breathe or pee. It just is." Someone in Reddit

"If you do strange things, strange things will happen!"

"That's it! Now go make something beautiful." -Jake Parker

 

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