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Tomu-san

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The parents I am keeping for a couple more decades, God willing.  They have their uses. ;) (And they're not here right now, hence why I'm camped out in their house.  They're paying me to feed the cats and make sure the place looks occupied, so as not to tempt burglars.) 

 

But I have very little use for their house.  It's okay, but it's too dark, too cluttered, too silent, too far away from my preferred haunts, and most of all it's Not Mine.  I miss my own place with my own stuff!  They don't even eat right here, it's all expiring lettuce, cans of beans and stale brown rice (shudder).  I bought some real food to get by, but I can't afford to restock the entire fridge, freezer, pantry and spice cabinet.

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Luds   
On 9/13/2017 at 2:09 PM, Garris said:

Ugh...my anxiety is through the roof right now.

 

i just don't want this position at work.

what freaks you out about it?

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Honestly I think the spice rack is the one thing no one thinks about when they move out on their own. "Ohh this recipe looks good, wait I don't have half of the spices I need" 

 

And boom goes the supply catalog which honestly is a major part of my job that honestly after meetings and meetings is very clear that no one else gives a flying F about, so when those people at the meeting start complaining about not getting supplies I'm just going to bring up all the meetings and tell them it's not a high priority 

 

 

 

 

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Luds   

... listening to random tunes while being being mean to a keyboard......   what the .... is blackgaze ?!

.... ah..." a fusion genre combining elements of black metal and shoegazing" ... well.. that's .. interesting... guess black metal folks need a hug from time to time as well. good on them. bet a hundred bucks it's them scandinavians who came up with that again. what an odd bunch, god luv'em.

 

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Ugh, don't get me started on spice cabinets.  I use spices pretty liberally in my cooking (for someone of my ethnicity), but most people just collect a bunch of matching bottles and leave them to degrade into flavorless dust.  The proper way to buy spices, as with knives, is not to pick up a set of 20 at the big box store.  You buy one or two items at a time, as needed, and don't buy shit you're not gonna use.  I swear my mom's got spices dating back to the 1980s.  She doesn't cook with anise or tarragon, so why the heck are they cluttering up the space? Just makes it harder to grab the stuff she actually uses.  But I see the same thing at a lot of other people's homes.  Use em or lose em, people.  They may be dried and irradiated but they're still food, and food doesn't last forever. 

 

If you're just moving out, get some good salt, chili flakes, lemons and garlic.  You can make most foods taste pretty good with just those.

 

What I didn't think about when I moved wasn't spices, it was things like shower curtains and trash cans.  I still remember going to Wal-mart to kit out my first apartment, and spending what seemed like a fortune on plastic things every home needs, but doesn't magically appear with.

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Garris   
On 2017-09-14 at 6:43 AM, Luds said:

what freaks you out about it?

 

Mostly having the responsibility of being in charge of a 1.5 m project with a hard dead line. 

 

Im a carpenter by trade, I've never really had aspirations of being a superintendent.

 

Ive kind of fell into this situation of given more responsibility.

 

i was sick for most of my adolescence , I weighed 140 lbs when I got married at 22.I was diagnosed with IBS which is just the diagnoses you get when they don't know what's wrong with you.

 

after a couple years my gp finally said let's give you an anx/dep test.

 

turns out I was pegged in all points. I started medication at about 24-25 and have been on it since then (now 35)

 

I now have a condo, 2 kids , and this increased job responsibility.

 

i had a break down at work about 1 year ago. My employers said they saw the value in what I bring to the company and moved me to a project where I was under someone. Things got better. We finished that project and I got moved to the next one.

 

I was told I would be a assisting a new superintendent. It turns out that by new he's never had any experience in the position. So now I'm basically trying to teach a man his job that I've never actually

been trained in myself. While also being a safety officer(no training) and a first aid officer(ofa level 1) and a carpenter.

 

It's like living with a 20lbs weight on your chest.

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51 minutes ago, Garris said:

 

Ive kind of fell into this situation of given more ressponsibilty.

i had a break down at work about 1 year ago....

It's like living with a 20lbs weight on your chest.

 

:cold: I feel like that too, except my weight feels more like 45 lbs.  (I can carry it, but just barely.  some days it gets the better of me.)  Tried medicine but it only helped a little and I quit taking it recently cause my insurance coverage dropped.  Thy burdens, I feel them.  pat pat hug hug, there there.

 

You probably have some combo of impostor syndrome, low self-esteem and your management refusing to pay for actual competence so desperately promoting anyone with a work ethic.  Try not to worry about it.  Life is that way a lot.  It's not cause you suck (you are fine), it's just cause everyone has unrealistic expectations. 

 

I don't know which is worse, hypercompetent bosses who expect too much or subcompetent bosses who expect too little.  I've had both and neither is fun.  It's like, do I want to feel lazy and worthless, or terrified and worthless? When do we get to the part where I feel productive and worthwhile? I just keep looking cause I swear to God, I know it's out there somewhere.

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Luds   
On 9/17/2017 at 5:26 PM, Garris said:

 

I was told I would be a assisting a new superintendent. It turns out that by new he's never had any experience in the position. So now I'm basically trying to teach a man his job that I've never actually

been trained in myself. While also being a safety officer(no training) and a first aid officer(ofa level 1) and a carpenter.

 

It's like living with a 20lbs weight on your chest.

 

of course i have this info to go on, so humour me, i oversimplyfy (however that is spelled correctly):

though there will be expectations towards you in providing support to the superintendent, I think you mustnt forget that it is HIS neck on the block first and formost. Try to not let your mind take responsibility at a level where it lies with him.

Don't get me wrong, you got the skills and the knowledge and using them to their fullest is what one does, BUT the responsibility ultimately lies with him, even if that is not underlined in daily operations. I'm sure he's happy for you to take care of stuff and prolly thankful not to loose face so will not pull an "i am the boss" stunt, but on paper he is.

 

Don't allow your mind to take too much ownership and responsibility. A good man does that by default because he wants the job done well and safely, but at this point in time it sounds like a burden that needs to be shared. And that's what a sup is there for.

Can you level with the dude and talk ? Indicating that your main goals are to keep the site and people safe, for him to be succesful in the project and that x y z are challenges you need help with as it's starting do stress you out. from a pure business point of view: He needs you and it should be in his interest to keep you working at peak efficiency, which you cant if you've got too many irons in the fire to tend.

 

....and yeah.. i realise that i am waffling without having the whole picture. just needed to say something cause I hear you; when you are the guy in the know and you take what you do seriously and pride yourself in that, it is (imho) normal to take "ownership" of stuff and you get caught up in your thought pattern. need to share the load, particularly the sense of ownership.

 

..erm.. yeah... said i was gonna oversimplify... ermm... yeah

 

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6 minutes ago, Luds said:

 

..erm.. yeah... said i was gonna oversimplify... ermm... yeah

 

 

If that is you oversimplifying something...I'm kinda scared at what a complex problem might be...I'd love simple problems, often times feels like I'm playing whack-a-mole

 

 

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Meh give me the complex, give me the we need to move 30 people and all of their equipment around in two weeks, the we have a 300 page record going to court that they need 30 copies of and it's need to be there by 4pm and they give it to you at 2pm 

 

Just signed up for the Arsenal City 5 k for the 22nd year in a row, it's just one of those things that I will continue to do until they cancel the race which I hope is never; I can see having a 50+ year streak going on

 

 

 

 

 

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I commented that I'd love simple problems as I work in a school system. There is no such thing as a simple problem/situation. Often times, there are problems that we have absolutely no control/input over but we have to perform damage control and put out fires...kinda like a warlock that can't help but pull aggro off the tank then the rest of the group has to sit back and try to make the best of it...

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I love the stressed look in everyones face when me and my crew are like "we got this"

 

probably because we have endured almost everything that you can possibly think of and have survived; also we know enough to say when something can't be done or it will happen by the skin of our teeth

 

I'm the go to between the Administrative Unit and the Office Service Unit, so the brains and the muscle

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