I like nerds.

[Guest Captain GetSwole]

Hi everybody!

I'm not new to fitness at all, in fact I've been involved in fitness for many years now. I'm very used to things like lifting weights, getting lean and eating well. What's new to me is being a nerd.

I actually gave up the nightclub scene a few years back. It was all getting really old with all of the smack talking and stupid little drama. It seems like clubbing crowds are full of cocky people with bad attitudes. I met a girl in a coffee shop who was very sweet, and she turned out to be a full blown nerd! We ended up together for a while, and she introduced me to her dungeons and dragons group. That was sure an awkward transition, but I eventually got into it. I enjoyed the intellectual stimulation, and the company was much more friendly.

What I really liked was the fact that the girls were so nice and had such good attitudes, and that the guys weren't assholes who were always trying to be competitive. Since then I've gone through a few girlfriends, but they've all been as nerdy as I now am. My new friends are very loyal, and they're very supportive when I have problems with women. Since the community is much more tightly knit than the faceless masses that populate nightclubs, they usually have known the girls I date for a while and are able to offer excellent advice.

Pretty much the only trouble I've had in my short tenure as a nerd is dealing with some of the less cooperative ladies. Some of them have real bad attitudes and like to try to bust everyone's danglies, but I can understand that seeing how some of their male company looks and behaves. But that's not really a big deal, because most of them aren't half as bad as what I've put up with among drunkards and party goers. "Girl power feminazi" means an entirely different thing when applied to some girl at a renaissance fair who thinks her tight bodice warrants special treatment versus a crazy drunken hobag in a shiny miniskirt who's trying to stab you with her high heel because you look kinda like their ex boyfriend. Having had those life experiences makes it a lot easier though, as does my level of fitness.

I'm happy with my new life as a nerd though, and I'm glad there's a place where I can pursue being a nerd and being fit all at the same time. Lurking this board has motivated me to try to get even leaner and more muscular so I can pull off a moderately scandalous Viking costume at the local renaissance fair in spring, so I'll hopefully be posting updates on my journey to becoming swole. This will require jacked everything and at least a clean 4 pack to pull off, so I have to actually be disciplined about my diet again. Currently I'm rocking about a 2 pack and each little improvement requires exponentially more effort than the last, but it will be worth it when all of the feminine capital in the renaissance fair knows my name. I will have to bust my ass to become ren fair royalty.

That's okay though, this genuinely feels like a good and supportive environment and that will help me stay focused. Thanks for the motivation everybody. I'm glad to be here.

[Ryan Sannar]

"Girl power feminazi" means an entirely different thing when applied to some girl at a renaissance fair who thinks her tight bodice warrants special treatment versus a crazy drunken hobag in a shiny miniskirt who's trying to stab you with her high heel because you look kinda like their ex boyfriend. Having had those life experiences makes it a lot easier though, as does my level of fitness.

Haha woot! Glad to have you on board. What's your diet like? 80% of weight loss is diet. Abs are made in the kitchen and all that.

[WhiteVandal]

Last night, I cut sugar and grain cold turkey for paleo. I don't expect to miss either too badly and I imaging that no soda/candy/syrups would seriously help lean a person down. Maybe check out paleo if you don't already have a diet and it fits your lifestyle?

Welcome aboard!

[Gainsdalf the Whey]

Welcome! You seem to have a great attitude and experienced input is always welcome here.

[unicornassassin]

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

I have to say though, I feel uncomfortable the way that you talked about women in your post. You are free to express yourself however you wish, but I would appreciate it, and I suspect other women will too, if you kind of tone down the objectifying women talk. When you talked about 'crazy drunken hobags' and 'feminazis' and 'less cooperative' women, it makes me feel a little uneasy.

That said, I will say again, you are free to express yourself however you wish. But if you toned down that kind of conversation as a kindness to me, so that we both feel comfortable using the forums, I would very much appreciate it.

[Guest Captain GetSwole]

Hi, it's nice to meet you.

I have to say though, I feel uncomfortable the way that you talked about women in your post. You are free to express yourself however you wish, but I would appreciate it, and I suspect other women will too, if you kind of tone down the objectifying women talk. When you talked about 'crazy drunken hobags' and 'feminazis' and 'less cooperative' women, it makes me feel a little uneasy.

That said, I will say again, you are free to express yourself however you wish. But if you toned down that kind of conversation as a kindness to me, so that we both feel comfortable using the forums, I would very much appreciate it.

Just a question about that - what if the womyn in question like to be condescended? My last girlfriend liked to be spanked and referred to as "feminine capital." She's actually the person who coined the term as far as I know. I didn't even like her at first and used to pick on her, but then she randomly broke up with her boyfriend and kept following me around until I went out with her.

[ZenGwen]

Just a question about that - what if the womyn in question like to be condescended? My last girlfriend liked to be spanked and referred to as "feminine capital." She's actually the person who coined the term as far as I know. I didn't even like her at first and used to pick on her, but then she randomly broke up with her boyfriend and kept following me around until I went out with her.

I agree with unicorn assassin - it made me feel uncomfortable too. In fact, it was the first thing my eye was drawn to, and it took me a while to figure out why the other posters thought you had such a great attitude!

The sexual preferences of your ex are not an excuse (nor, really, something you ought to be discussing on a public forum). You'll find that geeks as a whole have a higher percentage of kinksters than non-geeky circles do - but so what? If she was a domme, would you want her to casually refer to men as slime in her everyday conversation? If you can't keep how you treat a consenting adult in the bedroom and how you talk to women as a whole separate, that's a problem.

Ahem. Anyway. Welcome. Like the name. Any relation to Captain Hammer?

[Morrigainz]

Welcome and good on you for dropping the nightclub scene! Like many things, it has a time and a place, but as I get older, I find that my time and place are different than the nightclub's time and place

I kinda got a glib/tongue in cheek feeling from your intro post, and it didn't really offend (just bringing a different perspective to the table). Although I will stand by what the other women said, or we WILL rip off your danglies Sometimes it's better to tread lightly.

As to your question, if a woman prefers to sub for you, calling her feminine capital is very different from referring to a group of women as crazy drunken hobags. Just FYI

[Book]

Well... at the very least, I think a male voice needs to get added in here.

Thank you for the comments that nerds in general seem to you to be more friendly and loyal and supportive.

I hope that I am doing this respectfully. Having said that, there's a lot in your posts that doesn't impress me. I want to point out the hypocrisy of putting down a woman who wants to be treated differently because of a tight bodice at a Ren fair when you are in the process of trying to buff up so that you can be treated differently at a Ren fair because of the way you look.

And let me understand this right. Some women develop bad attitudes because of how some of the men around them (presumably nerds) behave? How exactly do the men behave? Don't get me wrong, a lot of nerds, including me, do a lot of very dumb things, including very offensive things. But part of the point of this community is to celebrate a lot of the dumb but harmless things that nerds do. Your comments seems to be trying to shame us for that. I guess in general, what's the point of putting down nerds of either gender at all in your introductory statement? We can always discuss the foibles of nerds later.

As for your second post, why did you use the term 'womyn'? It *feels* like you're saying "silly feminists". In fact the whole tone of the second post seems to me to be, "Stop being so PC." I mean, obviously what you do in private and public needs to be kept separate. Although maybe it's not so obvious since you used 'feminine capital' in your original post and were surprised that some women took offense to being seen as chattel.

Honestly, there's more that I didn't like, but I'm afraid I'm already piling on. Maybe I'm seeing all this wrong, and am more than willing to be told so, by the rest of the NF community as well as you. Perhaps I do have a tendency to be "too PC". I'm the kind of person that thinks it's time for the Washington Redskins and the Atlanta Braves to change their name. I find the whole concept of female cheerleaders to be insane and insulting. I had a hard time watching my step-daughter's dance recitals because it seemed like they were sexualizing children. I'm not against celebrating female or male sexuality, particularly in the bedroom, and I've certainly been known to attend a strip club, and I enjoy my fair share of porn. I've even dabbled in power exchange. But for me, it's all about the time and place.

[ZenGwen]

Hear, hear.

Sympathy about your step-daughter's dancing, as well, Book. My cousin's little girl does competitive cheerleading. They're all very enthusiastic about it, but she's four years old, and wearing more makeup and more revealing clothing than I ever have in my life and doing moves that would be very provocative if she were older. I can't really say anything, but it freaks me out... poor kid...

[Book]

Thanks ZenGwen,

Interestingly, reading over my own post, I think I offended myself. When I said, "a male voice needs to be added in here," the *last* thing I meant was that women can't fight their own battles or need to be protected.

So, it's quite possible I'm missing something important in Captain Get Swole's posts.

And, this might be yet more proof of how overly PC I am. Oh well.

[Morrigainz]

I think it's easy to misinterpret stuff on a forum. I try to take it as non-seriously as possible.

And, FWIW, you didn't offend me. Men can sometimes offer a different perspective on things

Maybe I'm just insensitive

[Bumblebee4]

My 2 cents is that as a female I was not offended by your post Captain. I think that most of us women have at some time been just as guilty of calling men names that I won't type here just to avoid the backlash. I agree that as a first impression of you in your intro that since we all come from different places in life I can see where some took offense and rightly so but the whole point here is that we are supposed to accept everyone not for where they have been but where they are going and if someone joins this group and talks about all the sodas, cookies and pies they just ate for lunch we should/would try to be supportive of helping them improve if that is their goal.

So welcome! From a girl that doesn't tend to be PC in her speech but can be a downright prude in some areas lol

[JPanda]

To me the best course of action is to just drop the labels. I've clubbed with nerds and nerded out with clubbers (D&D/vidya etc.). People are people. I've never understood the need to define and categorize people based on what they like instead of just treating everyone as a unique individual with interests just as unique.

Coming from someone who was on the chess team while on the football team in high school I can attest to the fact that no matter the group, people are still people, in terms of the good and the bad.

[Book]

To me the best course of action is to just drop the labels.

Drop the labels? So this just becomes fitness.com? Which I'm pretty sure is already taken.

I am, among other things, a father, a fiancé, a thrower, a lifter, an engineer, a Canadian, a French-Canadian, a soldier, a gleek, a liberal, and I am definitely a nerd.

I use these labels to show pride in myself and in others like me. The problem isn't that there are labels, the problem is when they are used to exclude or degrade, at least to me.

[unicornassassin]

Just a question about that - what if the womyn in question like to be condescended? My last girlfriend liked to be spanked and referred to as "feminine capital." She's actually the person who coined the term as far as I know. I didn't even like her at first and used to pick on her, but then she randomly broke up with her boyfriend and kept following me around until I went out with her.

I'm not talking about other women. I'm talking about me. I don't like to be condescended, and I like to feel safe and supported on this forum.

You are free to speak however you wish, but I would appreciate some civility so that we both feel comfortable. Based on this post, I guessing I'm not going to get that, and that's OK, because there are other people on this forum who are more my speed.

Welcome! There's room for both of us here, friend.

[Guest Captain GetSwole]

I'm not against celebrating female or male sexuality, particularly in the bedroom, and I've certainly been known to attend a strip club, and I enjoy my fair share of porn. I've even dabbled in power exchange. But for me, it's all about the time and place.

It's ironic, but as far as I can tell pornography, masturbation, a desire for premarital sex, prostitution and its stepchild of "gentleman's clubs" are the exact behaviors male nerds engage in that seem to cause nerdy women to look down their nose at them.

I engage in none of the above, and as a result I get extra respect among nerds that I never got among the nightclub scene. Supposedly cessation of masturbation increases your testosterone anyway, maybe that explains my lifting results.

Celibacy = steroids?

[Book]

It's ironic, but as far as I can tell pornography, masturbation, a desire for premarital sex, prostitution and its stepchild of "gentleman's clubs" are the exact behaviors male nerds engage in that seem to cause nerdy women to look down their nose at them.

I engage in none of the above, and as a result I get extra respect among nerds that I never got among the nightclub scene. Supposedly cessation of masturbation increases your testosterone anyway, maybe that explains my lifting results.

Celibacy = steroids?

No.

http://www.bodybuildingweb.net/blog/effect-of-ejaculation-sex-on-bodybuilding-gains/

Just as an example.

[jdanger]

[Guest Captain GetSwole]

No.

http://www.bodybuildingweb.net/blog/effect-of-ejaculation-sex-on-bodybuilding-gains/

Just as an example.

Even if it did help you, I still wouldn't do it.

[ZenGwen]

What's ironic is that that's the only thing you responded to here. Ah well.

[MaraJade78]

I think I somehow missed the point of all of this. but...welcome and good luck?

[AKLulu]

Maybe I just grew up around too many skeevy men in my small fishing town, but I wasn't offended by the initial post. We all know the women that Captain was talking about exist and he wasn't saying that all women are like that. Most of the guys I know will agree if I call them insensitive jerks (I kid, I kid... I don't insult people unless they know it's a complete joke), so I try not to be a hypocrite. I think that a lot of people that are in sciences/other male-dominated fields do end up having to be over-bearing to get where they want to go. Sometimes it's hard being a female with ambition, it is what it is and "only the strong survive." And I thought the remark about the renaissance girl was kind of ironic and funny - I mean really, I've known people who were all about girl power and womens' rights that went around dressing in a way that begged for male attention. *Shrug* Maybe I'm off base...

Welcome, Captain! I'm glad our "good and supportive community" has been so friendly to you I agree that nightclubs are totally overrated and would probably prefer being home playing Scrabble or World of Warcraft. Good luck on rocking the Viking costume, I'm in full support and expect to see pictures if you pull it off!

And jdanger, I love the plush ponies? Are they supposed to be Shetland ponies? Very epic pic

[AKLulu]

Oh! And I don't like nerds... I LOVE nerds.... still need to get one of those t-shirts. Or maybe one of the "Talk Nerdy to Me" shirts. Yeah

[JPanda]

Drop the labels? So this just becomes fitness.com? Which I'm pretty sure is already taken.

I am, among other things, a father, a fiancé, a thrower, a lifter, an engineer, a Canadian, a French-Canadian, a soldier, a gleek, a liberal, and I am definitely a nerd.

I use these labels to show pride in myself and in others like me. The problem isn't that there are labels, the problem is when they are used to exclude or degrade, at least to me.

I myself am I nerd, a brother, a son, a dancer, a fighter, a gamer, a fighter, a Filipino, an American, a gleek (QUINN!?!?) etc. etc.

You summed it up much better than me though, in regards to using labels for negative connotation. Although I take pride in what I am, and enjoy the company and conversation of people who can be categorized in the same labels, I opt to not generalize based on those labels. IE: Nerdy girls are like this or Guys who club are like that