Body Image Issues

[BrakusJS]

I have posted in the Men's Facebook group and the LGBTQIA Facebook group, and I'd like to post here so I can get some of your insight.

 

So - yesterday, while on Facebook, I noticed one of the friends I'm following has posted some of his pictures of his upcoming cosplay. In this case, it was Hot Ryu (Bearded Ryu) from Street Fighter V. ( Link to photo. ) And for some reason, instead of complimenting him for his look, I started feeling very insecure and jealous. I felt like, "What if I still don't get the body I want after I hit 200 lbs, or even 180 lbs? I mean, sure, I'll have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of heart disease, but so what if I will never get the body I want?"

 

I think I might have always had body image issues, even before I joined the rebellion. I always felt more drawn to people who were bulkier and/or more muscular than I was. And then I start feeling wistful and helpless. I've tried to put those feelings out of my mind whenever that happens, and for the most part it seems to work. But I just felt like that picture was the trigger that send me filled with feelings of despair again.

 

I don't want a body like Brad Pitt. I don't even want to have the body like the guy whose photo I linked to. I just want to look good naked, or at least pull off convincing cosplay of some of my favorite characters in anime and video games. I just want to be reassured that I'm doing the right things. 

[SpecialSundae]

Feeling that you look good is a really hard thing to resolve and it has very little to do with how much you actually weigh.

 

It's one of those things that a lot of people battle with (I know I do) and the only way to really overcome it is internal. You can work on improving the way you look to the outside world, but body confidence comes from within.

[Grymm]

To build on what SS said, I think at this point it's safe to say that satisfaction with one's appearance and body fat percentage are not in any way related when looking at the population.  Many people in excellent shape harp on things they can't change or that other people would find trivial.  Have you ever seen a skinny person pinch their skin and call it flab? 

 

There are two types of body parameters:

Things you can change to a certain extent - body fat percentage, muscle mass, your haircut

Things you can't change - height, bone structure, other genetically determined things

 

I think the key to being content with yourself is to recognize the second group of things and let them go.  Everyone has these.  And then to set some goals for the first group and work hard toward them.  The final key is to be proud of the work you've put in.  Commitment and effort are things to be proud of even if they don't get you to a six pack.  A lot of people don't have the will power to do it for a significant period of time.

[Dragon_Lady]

On 8/4/2016 at 11:00 AM, BrakusJS said:

I have posted in the Men's Facebook group and the LGBTQIA Facebook group, and I'd like to post here so I can get some of your insight.

 

So - yesterday, while on Facebook, I noticed one of the friends I'm following has posted some of his pictures of his upcoming cosplay. In this case, it was Hot Ryu (Bearded Ryu) from Street Fighter V. ( Link to photo. ) And for some reason, instead of complimenting him for his look, I started feeling very insecure and jealous. I felt like, "What if I still don't get the body I want after I hit 200 lbs, or even 180 lbs? I mean, sure, I'll have lower blood pressure and a lower risk of heart disease, but so what if I will never get the body I want?"

 

I think I might have always had body image issues, even before I joined the rebellion. I always felt more drawn to people who were bulkier and/or more muscular than I was. And then I start feeling wistful and helpless. I've tried to put those feelings out of my mind whenever that happens, and for the most part it seems to work. But I just felt like that picture was the trigger that send me filled with feelings of despair again.

 

I don't want a body like Brad Pitt. I don't even want to have the body like the guy whose photo I linked to. I just want to look good naked, or at least pull off convincing cosplay of some of my favorite characters in anime and video games. I just want to be reassured that I'm doing the right things. 

 

I wish I could say the words to make you feel better. If I had them, I'd have said them to myself, because I feel as you do. I am part of the Women's Academy Facebook group and sometimes when the ladies post their successes, of going from 125lbs to 115lbs, or gaining muscle or showing off how hot they already are, I admit I have a really hard time just feeling good for them. Because I have as much to lose as their bodies weigh total. And I feel like shit. I have always had body issues, and just today I looked in the mirror and literally said to myself, "if I keep going maybe I'll have a body a real woman." I no joke do not feel like a woman -or humanoid tbh- at all. 

 

So like I said, I wish I could say the words to make you feel better. However, I can give you compassion and empathy, and give you as much love and positive energy through the Force as I can, in hopes that you find your way. 

[Eskcanta]

On ‎8‎/‎4‎/‎2016 at 8:00 AM, BrakusJS said:

I just want to look good naked, or at least pull off convincing cosplay of some of my favorite characters in anime and video games. I just want to be reassured that I'm doing the right things. 

 

I would like to remind you that everyone has different tastes.  I'm not sure if you're more concerned about looking good to yourself naked, or to your partner, but there are people who like almost any body type.  With absolute sincerity I can tell you that I am far more impressed with what a person is capable of and how I feel around them, than about how that person looks.  I also tend to like the person I become emotionally attached to, period, though I appreciate healthier to unhealthy.  However they look like, I start liking that look more and more the more I like them.  This is how I am... but I am probably not unique.

 

Again, for -me-, if you are cosplaying or otherwise impressing and entertaining me, I care about how you move, if you have the basic skills, than however you look.  If you're cosplaying a character that is a 6'2" wall of muscle that can juggle five objects while holding a conversation... I'm going to be impressed enough if you can juggle and converse as well as the character, or even close.  Even if you happen to be 5'2" and more a barrel than a wall - what you do and how you do it is what is going to get and keep my attention.

 

Now, what may really matter to you is not if you can interest and hold the attention of others, but genuinely how well you can fit the mold in your head of how you should be or what you must become.  I cannot help you much with that, if that's your focus, because that belongs to you and I cannot reach it to change it.  But from the little I know of you, you do sound like you are doing the right things, and I really do wish you luck and hope you keep sharing your adventures and struggles - that can help you and others too.  Good luck!

 

[Machete]

Might be a different issue to address altogether. I've met people with body image issues even after they've reached their goals--their goals just moved. I've also met people who reach their body composition goals but are so afraid of "getting fat" again that they might as well have eating disorders. This of course greatly interferes with their new goals of increased performance or muscle mass.

 

 

I don't know, from the little experience I have in the fitness industry, a thing that seems to work is finding a community you enjoy working out with, whether it's a local running group, a community sport league, some Planet Fitness regulars, or even just a training partner. Makes the whole nose-to-the-grindstone thing more bearable, even fun to some.