heidi Heidi: Water 2016.08

[Heidi]

 

Nothing is softer or more flexible than water,

yet nothing can resist it. 

Lao Tzu

I can't believe another challenge cycle has spun around again. The new timeframe seems to be uncannily aligned with my life's rhythms, to boot. Life is frequently like that.

Last challenge I learned much - so very very much - about how love is stronger than fear. It was a lesson I understood intellectually, but had no true grasp on, and I delved in to put the principle into practice.

It was as hard as it sounds. At times, I could not imagine how to release the fear, let alone find the love, but it was there, the whole time, waiting for me, whenever I was ready to receive.

And now, armed with a new understanding, I can move into practice a step further, finding strength in the softness, in the compassion, in the unity. For we are all one; to injure anyone is to injure myself. I have no enemies other than myself. Unity can heal all divides.

This challenge I flow forth as water: welcoming, accepting, unifying, undeniable strength through nurturing and softness.

 

My tools along the journey are simplicity, gratitude, stillness. The sauna and the hot tub, the keyboard and printer are my allies. As a river does not flow in a vacuum, I will lean on my supporters and support others in turn. We will do more, together.

[Snarkyfishguts]

I hope this challenge helps you achieve your goals in becoming the person you want to be! There are many supportive goats here

Supportive Goats

[Heidi]

Hooray for supportive goats!

Thanks, @Snarkyfishguts!

[spooky]

your challenges are the best. So inspiring!

 

Following as always <33

[Heidi]

11 hours ago, spookyfoot said:

your challenges are the best. So inspiring!

 

Following as always <33

Thanks, Spooky! Always uplifting to have you along; you help me find my A game.

 

I am not certain what is going on with me, internally and spiritually, this week, but there is truly something of note. I feel more centered and more present, but also at a remove. Words don't quite get it. I'm looking forward to the journey.

 

Today is wonderful.

[Heidi]

"I have three treasures. Guard and keep them: The first is deep love, the second is frugality, and the third is not to dare to be ahead of the world. Because of deep love, one is courageous. Because of frugality, one is generous. Because of not daring to be ahead of the world, one becomes the leader of the world." ~ Lao Tzu

Lao Tzu was the most famous philosopher, mystic and alchemist in China. He is the author of the Tao Te Ching, or the Way. He is regarded as one of the foundation stones of Taoism. Originally, the word Tao meant a specific line of action, probably a military one, because the ideograms that compose this word mean “feet” and “leader”. Lao Tzu interpreted the Tao as a way, the essence of the Universe. In a written poem Lao Tzu describe “the Way” as the emptiness that cannot be filled, but from where everything manifests from.

In his most famous image, Lao Tzu is portrayed as riding a buffalo, because the domestication of this animal is associated with the Path of Enlightenment in Zen Buddhist traditions.

"Don't think you can attain total awareness and whole enlightenment without proper discipline and practice. This is egomania. Appropriate rituals channel your emotions and life energy toward the light. Without the discipline to practice them, you will tumble constantly backward into darkness." ~ Lao Tzu

It is believed that he lived to be 160 years old. In his old age he received the visit of Confucius, who witnessed Lao Tzu reprimanding a young disciple for being too ambitious and prideful. Ancient tales said that Confucius was so impressed by the way of discipline of Lao Tzu that he compared him to a flying Dragon that can reach heavens and winds.

“I have just three things to teach: simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures.” ~Lao Tzu

He is considered by some to be just a mythical figure in the unconventional universe of ancient legends. One of these tales declares that he was born already with an appearance of an aged man, from which he received the name Lao Tzu, which means literally, “old sage”. Others consider this legend to be just a metaphor to describe the antiquity of Taoism and its philosophical concepts which were antecedents of the Tao Te Ching itself.

 

Copyright 2011 Humanity Healing Network

[DarK_RaideR]

 

[Heidi]

Two trips to the sauna yesterday, thirty minutes each, and then a meeting.

Acupuncture and sauna today, after a meeting.

Supporting and being supported.

[Heidi]

Another morning half-hour in the sauna after starting the day with email-from-exes. At first, I thought it would wreck my calm, but then when it didn't, I was okay with that -- the way forward was clear even if not understood. That's okay too.

 

Therapy today. 

 

Lots of rest is on the books after another night of complicated, intense dreams. It's as though I spent all night watching some art film instead of resting. 

[NeverThatBored]

Hello! D_R mentioned somewhere that you have very peaceful challenges, so I thought I'd drop in and follow along. 

[Heidi]

5 hours ago, NeverThatBored said:

Hello! D_R mentioned somewhere that you have very peaceful challenges, so I thought I'd drop in and follow along. 

Well, hello, @NeverThatBored!

Welcome to the challenge.

Pull up a chair and pour yourself some tea.

How are you? What have you been up to these days?

[NeverThatBored]

2 hours ago, Heidi said:

Well, hello, @NeverThatBored!

Welcome to the challenge.

Pull up a chair and pour yourself some tea.

How are you? What have you been up to these days?

 

Tea? Lovely! I just bought a box of my favorite tea earlier.  

 

I am lovely! I have been thriving off of the Week 0 energy and doing lots of yoga and other activities. I hope you're having a nice day as well! 

[Heidi]

The day started well - it's hard to beat rolling g out of bed and going to the sauna for a half hour. Some writing after that, and then lunch with a friend  before a rest time. Looking forward to Vivian's visit.

[Heidi]

Wow. Vivian was a zombie robot when we picked her up yesterday - totally emotionally flat, communicating in bursts and blurts, and physically staccato in her movements. It made me wonder if she was on medication. Also, I kept my distance at the pickup, letting Vivian come down the sidewalk to me and not talking with them at all. They seemed really disappointed

 

We went to the library, and in the two minutes it took to get there, she had blurted out random, unrelated, public service messages, totally interrupting the flow of conversation. Her voice was unmoderated and harsh. "I am really happy living at daddy's." "I live there now. I live there now." It was kind of creepy. I stopped at the bench on the way in and sat down. "It's ok. You can tell us whatever you want or not tell us whatever you want. I love you and i always will." At the library she was a little shovey with the other kids in the Lego area, but when I took her hand and said it was okay to calm down, that there was plenty of time, it seemed to help.

 

We went to the gym for swimming lessons after the library. Her dad didn't let me get her on Tuesday and didn't take her to the lesson that night. Vivian was still physically awkward as we went into the changing room, but the last of the zombie seemed to get left in the pool. By the time we left the gym, she was back to making eye contact and talking *with* us, not just near us. I had spent the lesson time in the hot tub and then the sauna, and I'm glad I did.

 

Dinner was nearly normal, and teeth story and tuck in was just lovely. 

 

[DarK_RaideR]

Sounds more like stuff she was told to say, a bit like brainwashing if I may. Real tough to read about Viv being like that, I can't imagine what it must have been like for you. You are an awesome loving person

[Heidi]

Sounds more like stuff she was told to say, a bit like brainwashing if I may. Real tough to read about Viv being like that, I can't imagine what it must have been like for you. You are an awesome loving person

I agree about the brainwashing. It was disturbing, but thankfully brief. This is going to be a very difficult few weeks.

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[Heidi]

She and I made a girls' day of it. I woke with a headache, but went out anyway, and we had a good time at the farmers market, the library and the nursery. It's time for post lunch reading and resting, and we might make cookies afterwards if my head calms down a bit.

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[Heidi]

Pictures online

http://www.heidichronicles.net/2016/08/girls-morning-out.html

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[Heidi]

Yesterday at the gym was sets of 8:

32 twisted angels (more like reverse archers, the way I'm doing them) with 5# l,r

32 twisted inclined situps with 5# l,r

8 glute extensions @ 15# l,r

16 squats with a 10# kettle bell

16 swimmers press, 10# l,r

8 skull crushers 10# l,r

 

Walked a mile before hitting the weight room, then 30 minutes in the sauna, because it is just wonderful.

 

Today we played around and then rested, so missed out on gym time. I took a 15 minute soak in the tub and now we are getting ready to watch Cars, because pixar is the best. Kachow!

[Heidi]

There were early morning emails and discussions. The day started at 4ish, but I didn't get out of bed until nearly 8. Because some days are like that.

 

Today at the gym:

• Walked one mile
• Weight room
  • 32 twisted angels, 5# l, r
  • 32 inclined twisted situps, 5# l, r
  • 16 skull crushers, 5# l, r
  • 16 swimmers presses 10# l, r 
• Row 1km
• swim 200 yards
• Hot tub for ten minutes
• Sauna for twenty minutes

And now food and a game of cards before making some calls.

[Heidi]

Went to Back to School night and didn't run into the ex, which was nice. I left all the paperwork blank except for my contact information. 

Went to the gym afterward, and walked a mile with my partner before another twenty minutes in the sauna. I so love this.

We went to the library after the gym and checked out three new-to-us movies for the week.

Four eggs scrambled up with ham and a handful of cheddar, with a fresh tomato and some basil sprinkled with a homemade red wine vinaigrette. I won the hand of cards, which is new lately, and now we are settling down to watch Jupiter Ascending.

[Heidi]

OH! I totally forgot to mention that between lunch and back to school that I chased down a bunch of loitering, smallish 401ks (the downside to being a contractor) and rolled them all over into a single, tax free IRA. I still can't touch it, but it's easier to manage. And I have a feeling the stock market is going to get weird around the election. If I'm wrong, I'm still ok with that.

[Heidi]

Today at the gym:

• Sauna for 20 minutes.

Yes, so far that's it.

This morning I had an EKG at the docs office -- some extra beats, but otherwise all is fine -- and then a meeting followed by acupuncture.

Now, we are off to the market for local fruit and vegetables, and the bread is done rising.

Life is good.

[Heidi]

After market day, we put vegetables away - my partner made a huge layered salad from the goodness while I cut up watermelon. The loaf of bread came out looking fabulous. We watched the rest of Jupiter Ascending and then went back to the gym for a swim (300 yards) some hot tub (ten minutes) and second sauna trip (30 minutes, which might have been a bit much).

 

Dinner of salad with chicken, ham, cheddar and homemade ranch (because the fresh parsley and chives from the garden needed using) was amazing. I was so full that I forgot to eat the bread.

[Heidi]

Forgot to mention that my dissertation project hit me on the way to the gym. I'm really looking forward to it.