Amdhiel: Time to Reboot

[Amdhiel]

Sooooo things have happened and I've been gone from the forums for way too long. I've had a few realizations in the last month that make coming back to NF an urgent priority. I recently came to the realization that while I have been doing well I am also depressed and having more frequent bouts of anxiety. Things have been slowly stepping up over the last 3-6 months and now that I've seen the problem I need to nip it in the bud. Dealing with depression and anxiety is a constant battle but there are small things that I can do to start turing the dial in the right direction. Since I've been out of the game for a few months, I'm going to start small in order to get a few wins under my belt.

 

QUEST 1: A regular sleep schedule is full of win so get to bed by 11.

QUEST 2: Exercise is good for the body and better for the mind. For this challenge, exercise will be defined as 8k steps a day, anything extra will be made of awesome.

QUEST 3: Eating is important and eating regularly is good for the brain so tracking my meals and working toward a cleaner regimen is the name of the game.  

 

LIFE QUEST: Document the positives and small wins. Since I tend to have trouble seeing the good, I need to get back to writing down at least three positives/small wins a day. 

[MichiruSedai]

Yay!!  You have great goals and you will kick this challenge's ass!

[Manarelle]

Nice proactive goals. Following along for the awesome.

 

(Also, dude, I love your hair.)

[Amdhiel]

13 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

Yay!!  You have great goals and you will kick this challenge's ass!

 

Thanks lady!! Glad we were able to hang out yesterday to talk and go hiking.

 

2 minutes ago, Manarelle said:

Nice proactive goals. Following along for the awesome.

 

(Also, dude, I love your hair.)

 

Thanks!! I think the goals will help to start turning things around.  My hair is an ongoing an epic quest an cheers me up every time I look at it.

[Amdhiel]

DAY 1 UPDATE: The day was full of win and was a great first step at getting me back on track.

 

QUEST 1: Success, I actually got in bed around 10:30 and did a little reading.

QUEST 2: Success, I hit 17,062 thanks to assistance from @MichiruSedai

QUEST 3: Tracked all the food

 

LIFE QUEST:

• My friend and her husband stopped over to pick up my new motorcycle so that he could lower it to make it easier for me to ride.
• Spent a few hours with @MichiruSedai hanging out and went hiking at Devil's Lake.
• Spent some quality time with my bird, Tama.
• Played some LotRO and set boundaries around when I would log off and stuck to them.

[shaar]

You are the best.

Your hair is the best.

I'm so glad you're back!!

 

 

 

Depression-brain is the worst, it's so hard not to buy into its bullshit.  Rock on for you being mindful and realizing your brain is acting a fool, and being proactive to get it in line!!

[Amdhiel]

8 hours ago, shaarawy said:

You are the best.

Your hair is the best.

I'm so glad you're back!!

 

 

 

Depression-brain is the worst, it's so hard not to buy into its bullshit.  Rock on for you being mindful and realizing your brain is acting a fool, and being proactive to get it in line!!

 

Thanks @shaarawy!! I'm happy that I came back, I know the challenge will help get things back on track.  

 

Depression-brain is so frustrating!! Its interesting tho because certain things are good but then other indicators point to everything else going crazy. I figure it's better to focus on what the overall wellbeing indicators are saying. I'm happy that things lead me to take stock and recognize that things are trending down so that I can be proactive!!

[MichiruSedai]

You're off to such a great start!

[Amdhiel]

DAY 2 UPDATE: The day was full of win and was a great first step at getting me back on track.

 

QUEST 1: Success, I actually got in bed around 10:30 and did a little reading.

QUEST 2: Success, I hit 10,292 steps for the day with the help of my sister

QUEST 3: Tracked all the food and cooked my first meal from Blue Apron (Thanks @starsapart for the free week!)

 

LIFE QUEST:

• Went for a walk with my sister after work
• Had fun cooking dinner
• Posted my day 1 update

[Raxie]

YAY!!!! So glad you're back!!!!

sent from the depths of the Ionian Nebula

[Amdhiel]

DAY 3 UPDATE: Biggest win of the day was riding my motorcycle without issues and building up my confidence. I've been working on this over the past month but was having issues due to the suspension being too high (I could only put my forefoot down so the front tire being turned a tiny bit was leading to me tipping the bike :(). After discussions with my friend and feedback from her husband I bought adjustable lowering links that he installed over the weekend. Last night I went over to their place and they followed me for two times out on the road and 10-15 miles of riding.

 

QUEST 1: Success, I was a bit tight on getting to bed but made it right around 11

QUEST 2: Success, I hit 9,438 steps thanks to going for a walk with a friend at work.

QUEST 3: Tracked all the food 

 

LIFE QUEST:

• Had fun at follow-up lunch after successful work event
• Successfully rode my motorcycle on actual roads without tipping!!! 
• Found out that lowering the suspension on my motorcycle made a big difference in my ability to ride
• Got some good feedback about moto riding from my friend and her husband
• Went for a walk w/ a friend at work

[Amdhiel]

23 hours ago, Raxie said:

YAY!!!! So glad you're back!!!!

sent from the depths of the Ionian Nebula

 

Thanks Raxie!! I'm so happy that I've come back, it's already making a difference in how I'm doing.

[MichiruSedai]

How was the rest of your week? 

[Amdhiel]

DAY 4 UPDATE (8/24): 

QUEST 1: Miss, ended up running stuff in LotRO with friends and didn't get to be until 12 or so.

QUEST 2: Success, well close enough to success. Managed 7,867 steps for the day.

QUEST 3: Tracked all the food 

 

LIFE QUEST:

• Went walking with my sister
• (I'm sure there were others but I waited to long to think about it...)

DAY 5 UPDATE (8/25): 

 

QUEST 1: Miss, ended up staying up again gaming >.<

QUEST 2: Miss, only hit 4,872 steps due to crazy day at work and getting my hair done.

QUEST 3: Tracked some of the food

 

LIFE QUEST:

• Got my hair color refreshed
• Productive meeting w/ boss re work project
• Helped my co-worker replace her phone

DAY 6 UPDATE (8/26): 

 

QUEST 1: Got to bed a bit late, probably about 11:15 or 11:30

QUEST 2: Miss, only hit 6.154 steps

QUEST 3: Did not track all my food because the day was crazy

 

LIFE QUEST:

• Ordered the replacement for my Golf TDI hopefully it will get delivered in 2-4 months
• Went out for dinner and drinks with NFers 
• Productive day at work even with running from meeting to meeting

[Amdhiel]

7 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

How was the rest of your week? 

 

It was a pretty good week. Things got crazy tho which lead to me slacking on posting updates. :-/

[Manarelle]

Yeah, it's tough to keep track of everything on crazy days. Here's to this coming week being calmer!

[Amdhiel]

DAY 7 UPDATE (8/27): 

 

QUEST 1: Success, got in bed right around 11

QUEST 2: Miss, my steps were pitiful

QUEST 3: Did not track food bc I was lazy

 

LIFE QUEST:

• Met up with @MichiruSedai and her friends for drinks and karaoke 
• Made last Blue Apron meal for the week
• Got some cleaning done around my apartment

[miss_marissa]

Decided to come find you since you said you started a new challenge

It was good to see you Friday! Maybe we can get together again before CAAAAMP!

 

Glad to hear that challenging is going well. Did you take the motorcycle class and get your license already? I know it was coming up but I wasn't sure if it had passed yet. 

[Amdhiel]

 

On 8/28/2016 at 7:17 AM, Manarelle said:

Yeah, it's tough to keep track of everything on crazy days. Here's to this coming week being calmer!

 

It is tough to keep track. I just need to be more mindful of my priorities and put my challenge items first!! Sadly, things won't be much calmer because things at work are busy right now.

 

3 hours ago, miss_marissa said:

Decided to come find you since you said you started a new challenge

It was good to see you Friday! Maybe we can get together again before CAAAAMP!

 

Glad to hear that challenging is going well. Did you take the motorcycle class and get your license already? I know it was coming up but I wasn't sure if it had passed yet. 

 

Hey!! It was great to hang out with everyone on Friday!! We totally should get together again before camp to hang out and plan!

 

I did take my motorcycle class and I passed on the 7th. Getting my license updated is on the docket for this week.  I also already bought a motorcycle had make some adjustments to it but it's working out well now.

[Amdhiel]

WEEK 1 SUMMARY:

 

QUEST 1: Success 5 out of 7 days

QUEST 2: Success 4 out of 7 days

QUEST 3: Success 5 out of 7 days (6 if I make updates for yesterday)

 

LIFE QUEST: Success at least one positive remembered from each day

 

DAY 8 UPDATE (8/28): 

 

QUEST 1: Success, got in bed right around 11

QUEST 2: Miss, my steps were more successful at 5,235. I had to make a focused effort to get to that but I did it.

QUEST 3: Did not track food because I chose to focus on getting my steps up first. I know what I ate and may plug it in today tho.

 

LIFE QUEST:

• I made a focused effort to get outside and walk
• Went over to my friend's house for a few hours and she took me out on my motorcycle for a 35-40 mile ride. It was a super successful ride because I got up to 60 mph, drove through a small town with traffic and took a left hand turn across traffic from a stop sign.
• Prepped first set of meals for the week

[Manarelle]

Woot! Grats on week 1! Hope work slows up for you soon. It does make time pass faster, but down time is also useful. 

[Amdhiel]

WEEK 2 SUMMARY (8/28 - 9/3): So it was another insane week and I obviously did not do well with posting updates. I managed to get walking in most days (4 out of 7). I can't say that I really tracked my food at all but I did manage to get in bed most days (5 out of 7). I think I've finally come to the conclusion that it's time to find a new job and one that isn't working at an insurance company.  I probably never should have converted to full time where I'm at but that's okay. I just need to start looking and find something new at a place where my back isn't up on a daily basis just from being there. At least I'm starting to think that is a big part of my problem, people I know out side of work always say I'm laid back and such but I can't maintain that when I'm at work. I'm not sure exactly what sets me off at this point. Its probably a combination of factors including that I think that an insurance company that makes money off of people's money misfortunes is just pure evil. No matter what, it's time to start looking for a new place to use my analytics and Tableau skills. 

 

QUEST 1: Success 4 out of 7 days

QUEST 2: Success 5 out of 7 days

QUEST 3: Miss 0 out of 7 days 

 

LIFE QUEST: I know there were positives most days but I didn't actually make note of anything. My motorcycle ride last Sunday was a positive. I also updated my license on Monday and met up with my sister for walk and dinner. Then on Tuesday she and I met up and went for another walk then went out to dinner with her husband. The rest of the week was mostly a blur but yesterday I hooked up with a friend who is visiting her family and went canoeing and such which was great.

 

[Manarelle]

On 9/4/2016 at 7:00 PM, Amdhiel said:

I'm not sure exactly what sets me off at this point. Its probably a combination of factors including that I think that an insurance company that makes money off of people's money misfortunes is just pure evil.

 

Yeah, that could do it. If you don't have pride in your work (or your company), it shows in a lot of subtle ways. Good luck on the job hunt, hopefully you find something that jives better with who you are. Also, congrats on hitting two of your goals! Hope this week is going better?

[Amdhiel]

WEEK 3 SUMMARY (9/4 - 9/10): I'll be honest. Last week was rough. On the upside, I connected with someone on LinkedIn and he had some positions open. After much mental debate I told him my timeline for the earliest I'm willing to leave my current position and he will keep me on his list. Work stuff is still busy and some work related relationships were rocky. The relationship pieces got mostly sorted out which is great but just another reminder of why I need to hunt for jobs. The nice thing was the sorting out the relationships also led me to some realizations about things I need to work on changing. (Showing appreciation will be on a future challenge.)  It also meant that I was able to coordinate picking up my motorcycle on Saturday morning so that it's at my apartment (CHEERS!!!). I've also come to the realization that I'm just not ready to be trying to track my food. Working on two goals is a big challenge so I'm just going to focus on in bed by 11 and getting 8k steps each day.

 

QUEST 1: I didn't keep perfect track but I think I managed 5 or 6 days of getting to bed before 11.

QUEST 2: Success 4 out of 7 days (On 9/4 I ended up with 23.6k steps and my other 3 days were all over 10k. My total steps for the week 56k actually avg out to 8k a day which is good to see.)

QUEST 3: Miss 0 out of 7 days  (removing this goal)

 

LIFE QUEST: I didn't do great at writing things down each day but I know there were a bunch of positives during the week. I went hiking with @MichiruSedai on the 4th and to a birthday party for a friend's 2 year-old son. The 5th I hung out with my sister, we went walking around downtown for pokemon and then went out for brunch. On the 8th I ended up talking with my co-worker/friend that there were issues with and started to get things sorted out. Then I hung out with a friend and had a big discussion about social skills and showing appreciation. The 9th I brought doughnuts into work for my team based on a challenge issued by my friend the prior night and got to learn that doing something small may feel uncomfortable at first but can pay off in a big way. I also ended up coordinating with two friends to meet up for coffee Saturday morning and then bring my motorcycle home. Saturday (9/10) was full of wins because I bought coffee for my friends and we had a great time chatting while we waited for the rain to move through. Then my one friend rode his motorcycle with me on mine so that I could get it home.  He took me on the highway and then on some country roads which I managed pretty well. The evening was spent with @miss_marissa planning our road trip to camp and then heading to @maigrey's house to meet up with @Haikoo to hang out, play games and girl talk.

[miss_marissa]

Rough but SUPER SUCCESSFUL!!!!!