I Am Infinite - The Experiment

[Infinity.Creates]

From  to  - which I spent way too long editing, I think I found the face of Atlas for the story that's being told.

[Infinity.Creates]

  He looks a bit older here, but Takeshi Kaneshiro in House of Flying Daggers is the face I'm imagining for Ido.

 

[Infinity.Creates]

My reasons to 

- survive the apocalypse

- live my best life

- become strong

- not just survive, but THRIVE

:

 

1) To travel / hike comfortably

2) To keep up with others

3) To physically help others

4) To feel more confident

5) To overcome body dsymorphia

6) To not be burdened wherever I may be

7) To best fulfill God's calling

[Infinity.Creates]

this is fully your fault for the title, cause I was writing the next section for my previous story, but then I started thinking about incorporating Badlands into it, but then sci-fi, and then I fully want to become a space ninja so now this challenge is about me becoming a space ninja (and also warning yall about our mighty powers :P). It'll probs fit better with the assassins later on, but I'm focusing on flexibility and slow health progress this round, so druids it is. 

 

My morning routine has been going pretty well, wake, brush teeth, stretch, change, go for a walk, shower, bible, korean, plan day, then do the day. It takes about two hours, depending on the walk, but its been good. I've also been tracking my food for the past week, but I want it to become a proper habit, so I'll probably keep an eye on it this challenge as well, as well as trying to stay under 1.5k kcal every day. It's not strict, but if I want to see consistent weight loss, that's my number. I'm also all done with my teaching for this year, but I have an essay due at the beginning of May, and an exam in mid-June, alongside all my media and society work, so keeping a firm grasp on my time-management is important. It really does all disappear every time I go home, because all I want to do is laze around and read books and play games, despite still having some work to do. But that should get done if the rest also happen, especially the planning part.

 

#1 - Sleep before 12

#2 - Wake by 9

#3 - Eat <1.5k kcal

#4 - Continue morning habit

 

The measuring will be done over on my character sheet, but I've listed the ones that I really want to focus on above. The rewards and stuff are listed over there as well. As it is, I'm going to try to continue as is and gain a base strength to build off of.

[Infinity.Creates]

I don't feel like committing to anything or even really interacting with anyone, so this is going in the Battle Log.

My last post was from before uni started, getting ready to leave and start on a whole new adventure.

I'm now over a month in, taken up a position role in the student TV, not joined any of the sports clubs or gym, become more organised but also have worse executive dsyfunction. 

I've gone from saying ' I definitely don't have ADHD ' to 'I probably do ' to 'I definitely don't ' to 'I probably do' during this over the course of watching multiple documentaries and engaging in NeuroDiverse Twitter. 

There was another attempt to have a therapist, and it fell through again.

My body and self issues have gnawed through the roof and it's sometimes quite hard to navigate them. My major one right now is this 'people don't want to talk to me' belief. A couple bad conversations and crash goes the esteem.

I'm lonely. Sort of. I have plenty of really good friends and some good support systems, but there is no one that I really vulnerable with, and its something I crave after the amazing time at DTS with total vulnerability. It's led to this increased craving to be dating someone, which is also coupled with the desire to not be left behind, especially now I'm 21 and still have never kissed / dated anyone.

Creating is hard. Finishing creations is near impossible.

 

[Infinity.Creates]

Daily Routine :

 

9 : Wake-up

10 : Exercise ( Cycle M/W/F / HomeFront Sun / Yoga T/T/Sat )

11:30 : Bible ( CJB / Torahstudies / Life Study / Creative Liturgy )

12:30 : Lunch ( Wrap / Burger / Noodles )

1:30 : Korean ( Textbook/Workbook / Diary ) & Coursera ( UKP / Website Building )

3:00 : Art ( Iterative / MDJ / Other )

6:00 : Dinner ( Cook on ? )

7 : Relax ( Games / Signal / Elementary )

[Infinity.Creates]

Focused Flexibility current BAP

Deep Squat                                      :  4 / 10

Crosslegged Sitting                       :  8 / 10

Longsitting                                      :  3 / 10

Supine Hip/Knee Flexion               : 3 / 10

Crossleg Hip Rotation                    : 9 / 10

Shoulder Combined Motions        : 5 / 10

Prone Backbending                         : 7 / 10

Neck Motions                                   : 9 / 10

 

Areas to work on : Longsitting & Supine Hip/Knee Flexion

Stretches to incorporate into yoga : Hamstring Variations / Longsitting Stretch / Kneeling Lunge / Modified Pigeon

[Infinity.Creates]

Just realised I started this in 2016, though I'm fairly certain I had a throwaway account here before then. I keep coming back and back because this forum provides a space and something that I just can't find anywhere else, which is to say that I'm gonna make a post and maybe lurk and maybe even stick around for a while this time. Who knows.

 

I've been thinking about long term goals and my utter failure to achieve any of them. If I'd started back in 2016, I would be more than my ideal self at this point. What's the quote? The best time to start is five years ago. The next best is now.

 

The issue is habit forming, of any sort. Whether bad habits or good, I've never been able to make anything long-term? Sometimes I stick with it for two/three months before it goes, I've once stuck with journalling for a year before I then didn't pick it up for another year, and since then it's been on and off. Sure, anti-fragility vs the pandemic and the chaos of the lack of societal structure right now will make near anyone bite the dust, but this is a long term problem. Even breaking then down to their smallest parts, one push-up a day or 'just work for a five minutes and then you won't want to stop' don't hold true. I will stop, I won't ever want to progress, even doing one of anything sometimes feels like too large a mental barrier.

 

Never mind establishing them as habits. Even the simplest example of brushing your teeth every evening or bad habits such as hot chocolate powder in my coffee have and always are conscious decisions - I'm just more likely to go with the bad things because they're more immediately gratifying. Nothing I do is automatic, and even things I normally enjoy I will sometimes avoid just because it's too much work to get to starting and then doing it? The mental attritition grows so high over the course of the day.

 

Which is to say idealising daily routines and year-long goals or even long-term goals broken down don't ... work for me? Which then begs the question, what will?

 

... This is a thought dump of a post when I was originally going to write a list of my video game, to read, and to watch backlogs and then make a goal for the number I want to hit this year, .... oops.

[Infinity.Creates]

https://howlongtobeat.com/user?n=paritegic

Games beaten in 2021 :

Games beaten: 6
Time spent playing:  42 hours

Monthly breakdown
January  -- 1 completions
February --  4 completions
March  -- 1 completions
April  --  0 completions
May  --  0 completions
June  --  0 completions
July  --  0 completions
August  --  0 completions
September  --  0 completions
October  --  0 completions
November  --  0 completions
December  --  0 completions

Goals for 2021:
20 total completions
* 50 total completions

[Infinity.Creates]

https://app.thestorygraph.com/profile/ebdcce08-e917-4388-8bef-5ebdab400643

Books read in 2021 :  3

 

Monthly Breakdown

January  -- 2
February --  1
March  -- 0
April  --  0
May  --  0
June  --  0
July  --  0
August  --  0
September  --  0
October  --  0
November  --  0
December  --  0

 

Goals for 2021 :

91 books

* 150 books