Stella VS World

[Stellakin]

Hi there, everybody!

 

I'm Stella and I'm 18 years old. I've always been both an obsessive gamer and an active person, balancing my daytime workouts with my night-time escapades in the world of Tamriel. if I was outside, I was probably scaling a rock face, catching a wave, falling off my longboard (and damn it, I was rocking those pikachu kneepads!), or going for a run in the forest. If I was inside, I was almost certainly achievement hunting on Black Flag, or slaying a few draugr with my "totally-lore-friendly-if-I-just-convince-myself-that-the-dwemer-could-have-this-kind-of-technology" modded-in weapon of mass destruction. 

 

But that all changed when the fire nation attacked.

 

Okay, so not really. But replace "fire nation" with "debilitating condition" and "attacked" with "got diagnosed", and you might begin to see where I'm coming from.

 

About nine months ago I began to get sick - really sick. I would get sudden faint spells and have to sit down, or go off of my appetite. Initially, I felt it would be okay; probably something silly that we would all laugh about in a few months' time. But after blood test after blood test, being rushed from one clinic to another, it began to get a bit scarier. Long-story-short, it quickly spiralled out of control; causing me to have "episodes" several times a day in which I sometimes collapse, or the blood vessels in my eyes pop, or my heart races out of control. I was off of work for a day, and then for two, and when a fortnight later I was still unable to crawl out of bed and I was sent to the cardiology department on an urgent referral, it all began to sink in.

 

That was months and months ago. I now know that I have a heart condition that I have essentially had since birth but that typically manifests its symptoms between the ages of 25 and 35 - turns out I'm an early bloomer. Atop that, my health has nosedived further meaning that they suspect something else rather serious could be in the midst of it all, and so I'm still being sent back and forth for tests for all sorts, ranging from cancer (don't worry, hopefully unlikely!) to brain tumours, to hormone issues. Its been a long time now in which I've found myself in hospital several times a week for ECGs, heart echos, blood test after blood test after blood test. I sleep up to 18 hours a day and spend most of my time bed bound except for trips to the bathroom. Suddenly and without warning fainting, I also get chest pains that sometimes migrate to my left arm; when this occurs all I can do is go to A&E - not because there is any medication I can be given - just so that if the worst-comes-to-worst, there are paramedics on hand. Its nobody else's fault - not even the doctors, not even the healthcare system. I've been a bit of a medical enigma and even with my diagnosis, the severity is a kind they've never seen.

 

 I've always been a skinny thing anyways but have lost an awful lot of weight and what little muscle I had, and am, admittedly, pretty weak. I have the occasional day in which I can get up and cook myself food, or maybe even go for a walk, but then sink again. In less than a year my life has ground to a halt in a way I never could have predicted. Quite often when I can't get out of bed to hobble over to my 360 or gaming PC, I end up lay in bed with my gaming laptop and cooling pad perched on my lap, escaping into the world of Skyrim, or occasionally even "Sims 3" (recently rediscovered a childhood classic!) Escapism is my everything and whilst I was active before, I long just to be able to go for a quick walk or to see the outdoors in a way I couldn't even appreciate before. Gaming has taken on a whole new meaning for me; in a world in which I am sick and tired of staring at the same old ceiling above me, and in which being able to walk over to the fridge and grab a milkshake is a monumentous feat for me, I can redefine myself in a whole other world and do everything I long to and more! Every day has become the same, boring life strung into one. As much as my body is struggling, the mental and emotional effect has left me feeling like I'm losing my mind at times. I am sick and tired of my bedroom walls. I am even more sick and tired of those in the hospital. Gaming is my escape, it is something - anything - that I can do that breaks apart the dull and boringness.

 

There are some rather scary procedures that can be given a go that could better my quality of life considerably - this won't kill me. I know that much. And there is treatment and cures; once doctors can narrow down what on earth is going on in my body, there will be medications to try, surgeries perhaps; and whilst I may have to take into account my condition for the rest of my life, I will be able to lead a normal life again within a few years. It's important to look to the future and keep hope; I've learnt that now. One day I will be better and at first I felt that waiting until that day would be enough; but now I know it won't. I want to reach out to people with similar interests and when going to yu-gi-oh! duels in person isn't a possibility given my condition, I suppose an online forum for people with similar interests will suffice!

 

I can't go running. I can't go rock climbing. I can't surf. But I am so passionate about all of those things. I feel as though joining nerd fitness will be a great place to harbour my passions once more, and perhaps even work my way towards it throughout treatment, once that begins. Don't worry! Not going to try and deadlift and give myself a heart attack, haha! But perhaps, with a friend or family member at close hand, I can try some basic yoga, going for walks, trying to eat more - and log it with an army of fellow nerds at my side.

 

I really hope I fit in here. So far, this place seems great and whilst I may not be up to the challenges that you brave warriors and druids alike are embarking on, I hope to be able to do my own at my sluggish, rather feeble pace, and maybe keep you guys company along the way!

 

And, er, sorry for the novel. If you read all of that then thank you very much; I really do appreciate it.

 

Looking forwards to seeing what I can offer to this site and the people on it!

I cannot wait to meet people; so please, don't be shy to PM me! 

Lots of love,

Stella

♥

[imprimis5]

Welcome! I'm sure you'll find stuff here that can help!

[bker1370]

Welcome Stella,

 

No worries about the novel, it was needed.  As for challenges, they are what you make them...  you set your own goals.  so you decide what you are able to do and go from there.

 

New friends are always welcome here so give a shout anytime.

[Stellakin]

Thank you very much, guys! Pleasure to be here!

[The lone wolfie]

Hi

Welcome to the rebellion.

 

 

[Tyrgal]

 

Quote

So far, this place seems great and whilst I may not be up to the challenges that you brave warriors and druids alike are embarking on, I hope to be able to do my own at my sluggish, rather feeble pace, and maybe keep you guys company along the way!

In my book, you are able to achieve just as much or even much more than the other rebels around here. It's up to you. Physical Fitnessgoals are just one category of many that rebels may choose to work on. There's a vast number of ways to embark on your journey, to challenge yourself and to level up!

 

So welcome to the rebellion!

[Hyperion]

Welcome!

[Stellakin]

Thanks for the warm welcomes, everyone! Already feeling inspired, haha    

[zeroh13]

15 hours ago, Tyrgal said:

 

In my book, you are able to achieve just as much or even much more than the other rebels around here. It's up to you. Physical Fitnessgoals are just one category of many that rebels may choose to work on. There's a vast number of ways to embark on your journey, to challenge yourself and to level up!

 

So welcome to the rebellion!

 

I want to echo this. I pretty much always have chores, or writing, or job stuff, or meditating, or cooking as part of my goals. My next challenge is actually going to be focused on life goals, rather than fitness.

[Stellakin]

14 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

 

I want to echo this. I pretty much always have chores, or writing, or job stuff, or meditating, or cooking as part of my goals. My next challenge is actually going to be focused on life goals, rather than fitness.

 

Ah, best of luck on your next challenge! I'll try to keep an eye out for it in the 4wc threads  The next challenge will be my first and will mainly be lifestyle based rather than fitness based, given the current heath issues, but once treatment begins to work I'd love to work more on bodyweight exercises, running again and old hobbies, such as archery!

[Mahalak]

Steall,

Grace and peace!

Just finished your intro. My goodness, you have squeezed an awful lot of life into the last 9 months; your spirit sounds strong despite the adversity you have faced.

I hope you are seeing an improvement in your health, even if it is something small. The longest journey begins with a single step.