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3 hours ago, shaar said:

 

Ok wait a Gaiman/Pratchett COLLAB!?!!?!?!

ITS SO GOOD 

 

15 hours ago, Phoenix91 said:

My non fitness goals are to finish and hand in my thesis, try to make some actual real life friends (it's going to be so hard not to bitch face everyone I meet) and to hug Sebastian Stan.  I'm keeping my goals realistic I think. 

Definitely realistic :P Wishing you all the best of luck for them!

 

12 hours ago, IcePrincess said:

I'm going to work on journaling to try and figure out my headspace. I also want to work on writing a story. I want the story to be a metaphor about the struggles with depression. 

That sounds like a really interesting concept for a story! Do you have any outline, or just the theme so far? 

 

6 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

This reminds me

PFv7nwu.jpg

Feels relative, no?

 

I was thinking of something like "survive the overload of crazy" as my non-fitness goal, but I've done that successfully in the past, even with life throwing all sorts of curveballs my way. Instead, I want to be a better partner for the SRLF. Let me explain that for a moment, I'm a single child and most of my relationships so far were either long-distance or short enough to be abandoned when the first argument broke out. This is the first "real" thing and despite my age and mileage on paper, I'm still pretty green when it comes to communication and being with someone, apparent by our big arguments on a monthly basis. It is exhausting emotionally, it is harmful to us and I am not proud of myself looking back. This November will mark our one year anniversary and I want it to be on better terms than it has been so far.

The comic is 100% accurate.

Also, I love the different aspects of martial arts you've gotten into. Why did you pick Muay Thai over Krav Maga?

Communication is hard, and I hope it goes well for you!

 

2 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

All you folks with pets, I'm jealous :P 

I've only ever owned a goldfish, but I love animals so much. I really want to get some breed of snake, and a dog and cat. The only problem that comes to mind is my desire to travel, and having pets is like having kids, I would hate to leave them and it would be unenjoyable to bring them. :(

 

 

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On 9/17/2016 at 1:15 PM, shaar said:

Discussion 1

Pre-Challenge Introduction

 

Hello, awesome human! (Or robot, we don’t judge here.)

Tell us a little about yourself, and one non-fitness related goal you’d like to work on during this upcoming challenge cycle.

 

m4GLiV.gif

Haylo

 

I'm Koaladle, and I am back to NF after an incredibly stressful summer. I live in Florida with my husband and muttbaby, Heimdall. Last year, I was medically retired from the US Navy and have had a difficult time transitioning back into a normal human. I've been working on adding social commitments back into my life so that I can do things like Leave The House and Talk To People, with the hope that it will reduce my anxiety and stave off depressive periods--but that's a hard thing to do with days where putting on pants is my pinnacle achievement. 

 

frabz-wear-all-the-pants-eca2a9.jpg

 

Anyway, I am going to have the simple goal of walking around the block every morning. It won't take more than ten minutes, I can usually bring my dog (if the pavement is too hot, he has to stay home), and it means that I most certainly will be in pants.

 

 

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I am not alone.  I have found my people.  Depression sucks, big time. It steals away so much from us.  I've had days that my children were the only reason I got out of bed.  It's so hard to pull out of the dark place, to remember that we are valid, worthy human beings.  Here's to finding the people to help me remember this.  Hip, hip, hooray. :) 

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I'm off to a good start. SRLF has studied accounting, but hasn't been able to find a job on the subject. After more than a year of unemployment and a hellish week in some pizza joint's kitchen, she was hired in July to work for a company that provides customer service for a telecommunications company. This of course meant no summer hoidays and spending 6 hours a day with a headset listening to psychos cursing, insulting and screaming at you isn't exactly a dream job even when you're not dealing with all the other issues she is. Long story short, there was an internal mail some days ago about a job opening within the company as an accountant's assistant. She sent an application and yesterday they let her know that HR will be seeing her today after work to interview her and make her take a quick skill test. She was both excited and stressed, but I also understood that this is something she'll take really bad if she isn't picked. I did my part in calming her down, or at least trying to, then thought of my goal for this thing.

 

I dug up any accounting books I had on the shelves from my first masters' classes and gave them to her. She then called a friend of hers that works for a large audit company and asked him to run her through some stuff. That phonecall happened in the evening while I was at my current masters' class. I called during the break and they were already on the phone for an hour so although I wanted to finish, return home and play videogames until I was sleepy, I told her instead that I would be going out for a drink with some classmates after the lesson, in order to give her some room to finish her studying. Even when I got home, she had her notes down in word and pdf format, asking me to send them to her phone so she could review them the next day. Of course this had to go down the drain thanks to Windows Update that had my computer stuck, but after dinner, cuddling and a light massage, I put her to sleep and got out of bed, made the damn thing work and mailed her the notes, meaning I got to bed around 2 a.m. Overall, I think I did pretty good as a partner.

 

14 hours ago, PhysicsObeysMe said:

Also, I love the different aspects of martial arts you've gotten into. Why did you pick Muay Thai over Krav Maga?

Krav throws the BS out the window and focuses on being effective, which I appreciate, but at the end of the day it's a self defense system. I feel pretty safe already and I prefer to study something that assumes I'm facing an athlete or at least another human being, not a scumbag criminal I want to punch in the groin. I can't really stand oriental martial arts with their heavy emphasis on philosophy, form and kata, so Muay Thai strikes a nice balance being sporty but brutal enough.

 

On a practical level, I joined the SRLF for a few seminars and even a KM camp, an experience that showed me her trainer is one of the best KM coaches in the business, if not one of the best coaches I've worked with overall. Problem is his school's location. SRLF finishes her "Stay Away" seminar (KM for females) this Thursday so it's not like she's 100% certain she'll stick around in the future or switch to civilian KM and neither of us could really stand working with another trainer. MT is right next to my home and the trainer there is also one of the best in his field. I've taken a first step and there's a good chance the SRLF will join me after her KM seminar.

 

However, a week ago her coach (who's also a crossfitter) announced he will be moving the school to a new spot nearby, complete with kettlebells, pullup bars etc. This might solve my problem of wanting to combine crossfit and martial arts, as he'll be using the former to warmup and build fitness before teaching the latter. My body can handle going to both a CF box and a dojo, but my wallet and time schedule object.

 

HEY LOOK, GOOD OL' D_R WALLS OF TEXT ARE BACK!

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On 9/20/2016 at 4:45 AM, DarK_RaideR said:

I was thinking of something like "survive the overload of crazy" as my non-fitness goal, but I've done that successfully in the past, even with life throwing all sorts of curveballs my way. Instead, I want to be a better partner for the SRLF. Let me explain that for a moment, I'm a single child and most of my relationships so far were either long-distance or short enough to be abandoned when the first argument broke out. This is the first "real" thing and despite my age and mileage on paper, I'm still pretty green when it comes to communication and being with someone, apparent by our big arguments on a monthly basis. It is exhausting emotionally, it is harmful to us and I am not proud of myself looking back. This November will mark our one year anniversary and I want it to be on better terms than it has been so far.

 

Whew, that felt heavier than I thought typing it out.

 

I'm going to be that person that suggests a thing, but it's also a suggestion that saved a ton of my shipmate's marriages so bear with me. There's a book called "The Five Love Languages" that my husband and I received from three separate people when we got engaged. It states that there are five ways that people express and acknowledge they're loved: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation. You can take a test here  that helps you determine what your language is, and then you act on it.  For something like physical touch, that can be everything from holding hands at dinner to holding other things at home. Each LL is an umbrella of ways to make SRLF feel loved--and I gotta be honest, when my (single child) husband and I are focusing this way, our relationship is just absolutely fabulous. This article series will tell you pretty much everything you need to know from the book, so unless you're in for a repetitive read, skip the full version. 

 

Another thing on the big fights: fights happen, and that's okay. Those horrible fights, however, can be diffused somewhat by acknowledging her grievance or waiting to approach her with any problems until you've calmed down. If she has PMS rage, keep that in mind and don't engage in a fight. It's not to say that she doesn't have a point, but maybe at a different part of the month she would have dealt with it differently. Just never say that she's just PMSing because that tends end badly. 

 

Anyway, you're off to a good start. :) You want to be a better partner and you're looking for ways to make SRLF feel loved and supported. <3 Good for you!

 

EDIT: it wasn't super clear, but both you and SRLF need to take the test, and you cater to her needs and vice versa. If you're gifts and she's quality time, you need to have non-screen adventures for her and she needs to find ways to give you things to show she was thinking of you. And you're not going to have just one language, either; something is bound to score just a little lower than the main language, so you'll have to focus a little on that secondary one as well. Think of it like scoring combos! If her secondary were words of affirmation, telling her how wonderful she is over an intimate dinner would be SUPER EFFECTIVE!

 

tumblr_mdt6qpDEJk1rby56yo1_500.gif

Edited by Koaladle
Herp Derp
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16 hours ago, Koaladle said:

 

m4GLiV.gif

Haylo

 

I'm Koaladle, and I am back to NF after an incredibly stressful summer. I live in Florida with my husband and muttbaby, Heimdall. Last year, I was medically retired from the US Navy and have had a difficult time transitioning back into a normal human. I've been working on adding social commitments back into my life so that I can do things like Leave The House and Talk To People, with the hope that it will reduce my anxiety and stave off depressive periods--but that's a hard thing to do with days where putting on pants is my pinnacle achievement. 

 

frabz-wear-all-the-pants-eca2a9.jpg

 

Anyway, I am going to have the simple goal of walking around the block every morning. It won't take more than ten minutes, I can usually bring my dog (if the pavement is too hot, he has to stay home), and it means that I most certainly will be in pants.

 

 

 

Welcome back to the Rebellion!! ^_______________^

 

Man it is hard being a "normal human", I agree, but good on you for trying every day!!  Instead of just accepting it and hermiting, you are doing The Thing one day at a time!  WITH PANTS!!  (Or else you might be doing The Thing from the county slammer, eek, that's a lot of forced awkward social interaction...!  No thank you!!)

 

9 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

Hi everyone!

 

I'll introduce myself properly later, when I'm not supposed to be asleep. But awesome thread. :)

 

HI :DDDDD

 

We will be here anytime!

 

9 hours ago, Rinna said:

I am not alone.  I have found my people.  Depression sucks, big time. It steals away so much from us.  I've had days that my children were the only reason I got out of bed.  It's so hard to pull out of the dark place, to remember that we are valid, worthy human beings.  Here's to finding the people to help me remember this.  Hip, hip, hooray. :) 

 

I am so glad <33333333333333

 

This right here was my big hope in making this thread, it's already happening!!, I'm going to go celebrate with another cold cup of coffee~

 

5 hours ago, DarK_RaideR said:

 

HEY LOOK, GOOD OL' D_R WALLS OF TEXT ARE BACK!

 

BROTHA WE MISSED YOU!!  Heheheh.

 

Dude it sounds like you went above and beyond when the moment called for it and that is awesome!! You acted quickly and smartly when time was of the essence, gosh I really really REALLY hope she gets that job... career stress is some of the worst.  GOOD LUCK SRLF!!!

 

34 minutes ago, Koaladle said:

 

I'm going to be that person that suggests a thing, but it's also a suggestion that saved a ton of my shipmate's marriages so bear with me. There's a book called "The Five Love Languages" that my husband and I received from three separate people when we got engaged. It states that there are five ways that people express and acknowledge they're loved: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation. You can take a test here  that helps you determine what your language is, and then you act on it.  For something like physical touch, that can be everything from holding hands at dinner to holding other things at home. Each LL is an umbrella of ways to make SRLF feel loved--and I gotta be honest, when my (single child) husband and I are focusing this way, our relationship is just absolutely fabulous. This article series will tell you pretty much everything you need to know from the book, so unless you're in for a repetitive read, skip the full version. 

 

Another thing on the big fights: fights happen, and that's okay. Those horrible fights, however, can be diffused somewhat by acknowledging her grievance or waiting to approach her with any problems until you've calmed down. If she has PMS rage, keep that in mind and don't engage in a fight. It's not to say that she doesn't have a point, but maybe at a different part of the month she would have dealt with it differently. Just never say that she's just PMSing because that tends end badly. 

 

Anyway, you're off to a good start. :) You want to be a better partner and you're looking for ways to make SRLF feel loved and supported. <3 Good for you!

 

EDIT: it wasn't super clear, but both you and SRLF need to take the test, and you cater to her needs and vice versa. If you're gifts and she's quality time, you need to have non-screen adventures for her and she needs to find ways to give you things to show she was thinking of you. And you're not going to have just one language, either; something is bound to score just a little lower than the main language, so you'll have to focus a little on that secondary one as well. Think of it like scoring combos! If her secondary were words of affirmation, telling her how wonderful she is over an intimate dinner would be SUPER EFFECTIVE!

 

tumblr_mdt6qpDEJk1rby56yo1_500.gif

 

This is AWESOME, aahh resource sharing, it fills me with warm fuzzies~!! <3333

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Mid-Zero Week Check-In

 

How's everyone's pre-challenge week going??  Have you got your goals all set up?  Still thinking about one or two maybe? (Anything we can help with?)

 

I had a SMOL VICTORY recently in finally being an adult and calling my mechanic, setting up a morning to drop my car off for an oil change and front end inspection (yesterday) because some dingbat almost drove into me and I avoided him by running really hard into a high curb a few months ago and I wanted to make sure nothing had been really damaged. (My car is 16 years old!  But still going strong~)

 

Oil change done, car is together and safe with no issues, and it's OVVVEERRR!!!  TAKE THAT, adulting!!

 

giphy.gif

 

I feel so much better now that it's out of the way, but man, silly stuff like that is so hard to get up the nerve to do for some reason.  Next on my list is making an appointment at a new doctor (*breathes into a paper bag*) but I think I can tackle that one in a week or two............ 

 

 

 

Tomorrow is the autumnal equinox (at least for us in the northern hemisphere) and it's the day of equal daytime & nighttime.... and then from there the days get shorter and the nights longer.  Ugh.  I love the holiday but hate the daylight tradeoff.  I'm trying to prepare myself for the shorter days in the future, it's always my worst season.  BUT until then, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of the holiday season as much as I can!!

 

bd164ed7de2f16e000461562543321ee.jpg

 

0abcde41611186fcf53e0a0052d7c98f.jpg

 

 

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Appreciate the resource @Koaladle. In case anyone was curious, I scored exactly the same on all categories except a big ZERO on C (Gifts) and an overall  2 point advantage for B (Quality time). No surprise there, we moved in together after a couple of months together after all.

 

1 hour ago, Koaladle said:

Another thing on the big fights: fights happen, and that's okay. Those horrible fights, however, can be diffused somewhat by acknowledging her grievance or waiting to approach her with any problems until you've calmed down.

Actually, she's all about dealing with the problem immediately and being brutally honest about everything. I'm the exact opposite, I'd rather ignore, delay or downgrade the issue if it means avoiding conflict

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1 hour ago, DarK_RaideR said:

 

Actually, she's all about dealing with the problem immediately and being brutally honest about everything. I'm the exact opposite, I'd rather ignore, delay or downgrade the issue if it means avoiding conflict

 

Ahahaha yes this is us too, I'm pretty much like that guy in the Matrix that dodges all those bullets and tries to make nice~

 

That quiz was fun!!  I killed it with 11 B's for quality time, 5 for each A C and E, and 4 D.  I had a feeling it'd work out that way for me ^^;

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10 minutes ago, shaar said:

 

I had a SMOL VICTORY recently in finally being an adult and calling my mechanic, setting up a morning to drop my car off for an oil change and front end inspection (yesterday) because some dingbat almost drove into me and I avoided him by running really hard into a high curb a few months ago and I wanted to make sure nothing had been really damaged. (My car is 16 years old!  But still going strong~)

 

Oil change done, car is together and safe with no issues, and it's OVVVEERRR!!!  TAKE THAT, adulting!!

 

giphy.gif

 

I feel so much better now that it's out of the way, but man, silly stuff like that is so hard to get up the nerve to do for some reason.  Next on my list is making an appointment at a new doctor (*breathes into a paper bag*) but I think I can tackle that one in a week or two............ 

 

Tomorrow is the autumnal equinox (at least for us in the northern hemisphere) and it's the day of equal daytime & nighttime.... and then from there the days get shorter and the nights longer.  Ugh.  I love the holiday but hate the daylight tradeoff.  I'm trying to prepare myself for the shorter days in the future, it's always my worst season.  BUT until then, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of the holiday season as much as I can!!

 

bd164ed7de2f16e000461562543321ee.jpg

 

 

As the one with the pants challenge, I'm going to go ahead and say that if adulting is difficult for you but you did it anyway you are a freaking success. Getting past the anxiety hurdle is no mean feat. <3

 

I am also dreading the lack of daylight.

 

I LOVE that quote!

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I'm not that great at introductions, but here it goes. I'm Zeroh. I live in Maryland with my wife and 2 cats. And in less than 6 months, I'll be turning 30. I've dealt with depression in the past, and I'm currently struggling with social anxiety and ADHD.

 

As far as fitness goes, I enjoy bodyweight exercises. But I'm still at a beginner level.

 

This challenge, most of my goals are non-fitness related. Over the past month, my job has gone from barely tolerable, to get me out of here now before I hurt someone. But I may have a new job in the coming weeks. And I might get back on ADHD medication. *fingers crossed* So there's work on centering myself, as well as learning more about nutrition, and working on maintaining a more professional appearance.

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On 9/19/2016 at 6:48 PM, Phoenix91 said:

 My non fitness goals are to finish and hand in my thesis, try to make some actual real life friends (it's going to be so hard not to bitch face everyone I meet) and to hug Sebastian Stan.  I'm keeping my goals realistic I think. 

 

Hugging Sebastian Stan is an excellent and admirable goal. I hope you achieve it. :)

 

On 9/19/2016 at 9:40 PM, IcePrincess said:

Thank the maker for this group! I've been struggling even more than normal with my depression than normal. I've been having more and more trouble just living my everyday life. I feel like I'm drowning. I'm determined to get through this 4 week challenge, and I'm so glad for this group now! 

 

Ok! About me! I'm Issa, I'm 32 and live in Montana. I work as an account assistant for the food services department at the hospital in town. I'm single, but I have a dog that is my everything named Zoey and an asshole cat named Shabadoo. I've been off the healthy/fitness bandwagon for a while and am working on fixing that now. 

I am getting back into exercise slowly. I walk my dog, I'll have to figure something else out when it gets too cold for that. I have a gym at work I can use, so I plan on starting to go there once a week so I can get used to that again. I'm also going to start doing some bodyweight workouts, so that I can get some strength back and start doing free weights again. 

I'm going to work on journaling to try and figure out my headspace. I also want to work on writing a story. I want the story to be a metaphor about the struggles with depression. 

Well I guess that's all for now! 

 

I love your cat's name! It's adorable <3 Good luck with your story, too! I'm developing something along that line as well. If you'd ever like to brainstorm together, my inbox is open. :)
 

5 hours ago, shaar said:

Mid-Zero Week Check-In

 

How's everyone's pre-challenge week going??  Have you got your goals all set up?  Still thinking about one or two maybe? (Anything we can help with?)

 

I had a SMOL VICTORY recently in finally being an adult and calling my mechanic, setting up a morning to drop my car off for an oil change and front end inspection (yesterday) because some dingbat almost drove into me and I avoided him by running really hard into a high curb a few months ago and I wanted to make sure nothing had been really damaged. (My car is 16 years old!  But still going strong~)

 

Oil change done, car is together and safe with no issues, and it's OVVVEERRR!!!  TAKE THAT, adulting!!

 

giphy.gif

 

I feel so much better now that it's out of the way, but man, silly stuff like that is so hard to get up the nerve to do for some reason.  Next on my list is making an appointment at a new doctor (*breathes into a paper bag*) but I think I can tackle that one in a week or two............ 

 

 

CONGRATULATIONS ON ADULTING. *Waves Pom Poms*

 

I'm still ironing out my goals a little bit, decided to make them a little more specific across the board. Something to definitely work toward, maybe edit the general format a little.

 

Contributing to Resources, though, here are two things I've been finding helpful lately:

 

1. Interactive

2. List

 

:)

 

And for the discussion of pets, I have four outside cats that I worry about constantly. The eldest two are brothers; Smaug, the perfect Halloween Kitty with his black fur and green eyes. He's the neighborhood Alpha Cat and extremely temperamental. His brother, Viserys, who's a cheesecake-colored ball of fluff with bright blue eyes. He's something like, 90% fur and 10% cat, chillest animal in the neighborhood. Benjamin is...related to Smaug in some way. Something like half-brother or son or nephew. He looks like Viserys, but with short fur and permanent crossed eyes. Purrs continuously and stares mournfully at birds. And then there's the little darling, Princess Flea, who turned up just days ago. I don't think she's more than a couple of months old because she's l'il bitty. Cute little tabby, bounces everywhere. She's adorable and likes to bite everything that'll fit in her mouth, and has forcibly adopted Benjamin as her surrogate mom. (which is exactly what he did to Viserys many months ago) <3

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56 minutes ago, MiaulinTheCat said:

 

Contributing to Resources, though, here are two things I've been finding helpful lately:

 

1. Interactive

2. List

 

:)

 

THESE RESOURCES ARE FABULOUS. I bookmarked the interactive one after playing with it a little while. My darling dear tends to run through a list like this on bad days, but now I have a tool to get myself more independent. <3333 

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Caution:  Incoming weebling

 

 

Soooo because I'm a fool, I have been off some of my meds for the last week and a half.  And they're kinda important ones.  Soooooo not having them isn't ideal.  It makes me somewhat wobbly and unstable and generally, well, somewhat more mental than normal.

 

I have been fighting with a code ALL.  WEEK.  

Seriously.  I code in Perl (very badly) and it is literally half code and half commented out bits that I tried and didn't work.

 

I don't like asking for help.  I'm getting better, but I'm still not great, and without my meds I'm worse.  This afternoon I finally got myself to ask someone for help, unfortunately the two guys in my section of the office, whilst very willing to help, don't use Perl.  But they came up with a couple of ideas.

 

Anyway, we all went down to coffee, and I was bemoaning my coding to all and sundry.  There's a guy who is AMAZING at coding (and I have something of a crush on and I think there has been flirting but he apparently has a girlfriend but he hasn't mentioned her AT ALL even in the several hours we've spent hanging out just the two of us outside work and this is irrelevant to the actual story of today but adds to my general confusion of it all), but I know that he is super super busy right now and specifically wasn't going to ask him because he has a million and one things to do.  So he arrives at coffee a few minutes after the rest of us, and the first thing one of the guys says to him is "do you use Perl?".

 

"I do!  Why?"

 

"Fiona's having some problems...."

 

Soooooooo.  He asks what's going on.  I try to explain (difficult without a bit of paper because there's files and columns all over the shop).  I fail (shocker!).  He suggests he just has a look at my code and gives me a hand from there.  I'm pretty sure it's a five minute job where he'll look at my code and go "well no wonder this isn't working, why have you done x?".

 

He turns up at my desk a little before half 4.  He peers at my code.  I attempt to explain.

 

He starts a new code.  (Always a good sign)

 

We realise he was aiming for something different to what I was aiming for.  Adjustments are made.

 

Tests are run.  Weird results pop up.

 

We try again.  And again.  And again.

 

Five o'clock hits and my friend (who is lovely and driving my poor broken self to and from work) arrives at my desk to go home.  I offer to get myself home so she doesn't have to hang around.

 

Lovely Coding Guy (Steve.  His name is Steve.  That is easier) says it's ok and we can sort it out tomorrow.  I head home, and he goes back to his desk to finish editing a paper his former supervisor sent him (at 5am today. With a deadline of tomorrow).

 

 

 

So I basically spent that entire half hour sitting feeling stupid (because I really should be able to do this myself), and embarrassed (see previous point), and guilty (because when I said yes to his offer of help I thought it would be a five minute job and not taking up the entire rest of his day AND tomorrow morning).  And just generally crap about it.  I almost burst into tears several times because of the combination of the above emotions.

Just.  Urgh.  I specifically didn't ask him because I KNEW it would end up with something like the above.  I wasn't going to turn him down because he is so so so good at it, but I hate this mass of ~feelings~ and overthinking everything and assuming he must now be super pissed off with me because reasons.

 

I'll take him chocolate tomorrow.  But still.

 

 

 

Though that does lead into the language of love thing because when it comes to me showing affection for someone I tend to do it by getting them stuff (not big things, just wee bits and bobs).  However based on that quiz I am far and away quality time.  2nd goes jointly to words of affirmation and gifts, fourth to physical touch, and acts of service is at the bottom (which makes sense tbh given how guilty I feel about people doing things for me hahaha).

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the plus side...if he is struggling with this code then at least it isn't just me being stupid and useless.  And if we can get it to work then it will speed up other stuff massively.

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9 hours ago, Koaladle said:

I'm going to be that person that suggests a thing, but it's also a suggestion that saved a ton of my shipmate's marriages so bear with me. There's a book called "The Five Love Languages" that my husband and I received from three separate people when we got engaged. It states that there are five ways that people express and acknowledge they're loved: physical touch, quality time, acts of service, gifts, and words of affirmation. You can take a test here  that helps you determine what your language is, and then you act on it.  For something like physical touch, that can be everything from holding hands at dinner to holding other things at home. Each LL is an umbrella of ways to make SRLF feel loved--and I gotta be honest, when my (single child) husband and I are focusing this way, our relationship is just absolutely fabulous. This article series will tell you pretty much everything you need to know from the book, so unless you're in for a repetitive read, skip the full version. 

 

I have 7 in both D and E, and 6 in both A and B. I definitely feel like Touch and Words of Affirmation are most important to me, followed by Quality time then Acts of Service. 

 

 

8 hours ago, shaar said:

Tomorrow is the autumnal equinox (at least for us in the northern hemisphere) and it's the day of equal daytime & nighttime.... and then from there the days get shorter and the nights longer.  Ugh.  I love the holiday but hate the daylight tradeoff.  I'm trying to prepare myself for the shorter days in the future, it's always my worst season.  BUT until then, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of the holiday season as much as I can!!

. I agree! My favourite season is definitely Autumn, but the longer nights are so hard. Getting up in the dark, and then struggling to stay awake in the dark at 9 just messes me over.

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5 hours ago, PhysicsObeysMe said:

 

I have 7 in both D and E, and 6 in both A and B. I definitely feel like Touch and Words of Affirmation are most important to me, followed by Quality time then Acts of Service. 

 

 

I am really glad everyone liked this so much! If both people in a relationship keep this in mind it can work wonders.

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6 hours ago, Finisterre said:

Caution:  Incoming weebling

 

 

Soooo because I'm a fool, I have been off some of my meds for the last week and a half.  And they're kinda important ones.  Soooooo not having them isn't ideal.  It makes me somewhat wobbly and unstable and generally, well, somewhat more mental than normal.

 

Though that does lead into the language of love thing because when it comes to me showing affection for someone I tend to do it by getting them stuff (not big things, just wee bits and bobs).  However based on that quiz I am far and away quality time.  2nd goes jointly to words of affirmation and gifts, fourth to physical touch, and acts of service is at the bottom (which makes sense tbh given how guilty I feel about people doing things for me hahaha).

 

On the plus side...if he is struggling with this code then at least it isn't just me being stupid and useless.  And if we can get it to work then it will speed up other stuff massively.

 

Always take meds, and if there's something wrong or you have a concern, bring it up with your doctor--but until then do your best to stay on track. <333

 

Here's how I use to love language test: the results tell me what I need out of my relationships. When someone else takes it, it tells me what they need. If you share the results (with family, friends, etc), then each party knows how to adjust their affection output so everyone gets the warm fuzzies. Default outputs are often the result of our close relationships while we're young. My default is also giving gifts, which makes an awful lot of sense since since my parents are divorced. 

 

DO NOT GET DOWN ON YOURSELF. If the go-to guy can't figure out the problem, then it clearly needs two brains to get it right. Try to get some sleep so that you can tackle it tomorrow, kay?

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17 hours ago, shaar said:

Mid-Zero Week Check-In

 

How's everyone's pre-challenge week going??  Have you got your goals all set up?  Still thinking about one or two maybe? (Anything we can help with?)

 

I had a SMOL VICTORY recently in finally being an adult and calling my mechanic, setting up a morning to drop my car off for an oil change and front end inspection (yesterday) because some dingbat almost drove into me and I avoided him by running really hard into a high curb a few months ago and I wanted to make sure nothing had been really damaged. (My car is 16 years old!  But still going strong~)

 

Oil change done, car is together and safe with no issues, and it's OVVVEERRR!!!  TAKE THAT, adulting!!

 

giphy.gif

 

I feel so much better now that it's out of the way, but man, silly stuff like that is so hard to get up the nerve to do for some reason.  Next on my list is making an appointment at a new doctor (*breathes into a paper bag*) but I think I can tackle that one in a week or two............ 

 

 

 

Tomorrow is the autumnal equinox (at least for us in the northern hemisphere) and it's the day of equal daytime & nighttime.... and then from there the days get shorter and the nights longer.  Ugh.  I love the holiday but hate the daylight tradeoff.  I'm trying to prepare myself for the shorter days in the future, it's always my worst season.  BUT until then, I'm going to enjoy the heck out of the holiday season as much as I can!!

 

Congrats on the successful adulting!

 

I think zero week is going well so far. The napping habit is working out wonderfully, and that's the main thing! Got to do my own adulting thing at some point this week and call the electrician to do an electrical survey on behalf of my landlord... Uncomfortable phone call followed up by a stranger in my home for three hours? Yay...

 

Winter is always my worst season too, which I find kinda funny because I love the darkness coming in early. Not too keen on the dark mornings though, it makes getting up for work (and in general) so much more difficult.

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18 hours ago, zeroh13 said:

I'm not that great at introductions, but here it goes. I'm Zeroh. I live in Maryland with my wife and 2 cats.

 

!!!!

 

Are you a Maryland NFer I have bothered before about joining us in our social events? If not, you totally should! We have a thread and a facebook group.

 

And that offer goes for anyone ever visiting the DC area - we love to welcome nerds.

 

Anywho, week zero is going okay so far. I haven't been the most active, but I've been putting a lot of energy into tracking food and watching what I eat. I also did some adulting by finally cleaning out my car. I am awful about keeping it clean. I still need to vacuum (something I have never done to a car before) and clear the trunk, but it was major progress considering I've been stalling on it for.. Oh... since we moved back in January of 2015?

 

Also took time last night for some self-care. I recognized that my willpower supply was low while at work, and after a few student situations that completely derailed my day (missed two out of my three classroom lessons, which happens when you're the only school counselor in a big school), I decided to take it easy last night. And somehow cleaning my car came out of that.

5 hours ago, iatetheyeti said:

Winter is always my worst season too, which I find kinda funny because I love the darkness coming in early. Not too keen on the dark mornings though, it makes getting up for work (and in general) so much more difficult.

 

Winter is tough for me as well. I love Fall and the beginning of the colder weather, but usually by mid-November I start to struggle. Dark mornings, dark when I leave work. Ugh.

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12 minutes ago, JessOfAllTrades said:

Are you a Maryland NFer I have bothered before about joining us in our social events? If not, you totally should! We have a thread and a facebook group.

 

And that offer goes for anyone ever visiting the DC area - we love to welcome nerds.

No, but I noticed the thread. The thing is, it would take me a good 3 hours to get to the DC area. Otherwise I'd be visiting my parents all the time. :P (Baltimore, no car.) I should forward the info to my mom though... (Both of my parents are huge nerds, and my mom bought Level Up Your Life after told her about Nerd Fitness, but I don't know that she ever joined these forums or anything.)

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Quest : Go to the bank tomorrow and open up a new savings account and put all the money for a gap year into it. A proper adult thing. I don't think I like this being an adult business.

 

Problem : I struggle with commitment, especially due to my depression. I like having a bit of leeway, but giving large portions of my time to anything is difficult. This is different for work because thats a professional relationship that I need for money. Basically, I've been part of a Dungeons & Dragons group for the past three months, and I'm absolutely loving it. I love the story telling, the gaming, the fun, etc. But finding the four hours to play every Saturday is a struggle, especially with the number of opportunities I like signing myself up for. I also sometimes just don't have the energy to interact with people so enthusiastically, and in a way the game deserves, for four hours every week. 

It's causing me a lot of stress and anxiety being part of the group and feeling guilty every time I need space to myself/I'm busy, and it puts such a large unnecessary burden on the DM. On one hand, I recognise that this anxiety isn't good for me, and I should probably stop to keep some time to myself through the week. On the other, I love playing, and its good fun and a nice time to have with others during the week. I just have no idea what I should do about it.

Another point - I'm not that close with the players. I joined the game of Roll20, and we've become friends, but on a very basic level.

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On 9/20/2016 at 9:40 AM, PhysicsObeysMe said:
On 9/19/2016 at 8:40 PM, IcePrincess said:

I'm going to work on journaling to try and figure out my headspace. I also want to work on writing a story. I want the story to be a metaphor about the struggles with depression. 

That sounds like a really interesting concept for a story! Do you have any outline, or just the theme so far? 

 

I just have the theme so far. I haven't written a full length story in many years so it'll be an undertaking. 

 

On 9/21/2016 at 11:41 AM, MiaulinTheCat said:

 

I love your cat's name! It's adorable <3 Good luck with your story, too! I'm developing something along that line as well. If you'd ever like to brainstorm together, my inbox is open. :)
 

Thanks! I will take you up on the brainstorming! I only have the barest bones of an idea so far! 

 

On a different note, this is a terrible week! I've been crying a lot. I'm starting to be afraid that I'll never pull out of this funk. I don't know what to do anymore, I just want to give up. I know I shouldn't give up, but I am so tired of fighting. I'm also afraid of asking for help. I don't want to cause people I love to worry about me, and I don't want to get put in the behavior health unit. I work at the hospital and I would be terribly embarrassed if I had to end up there. I'm not sure that that is a possibility, but I'm a worst case scenario type of person. I'm just in such a dark place. :ambivalence:

 

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On 9/19/2016 at 10:24 AM, shaar said:

YAY DOG!  What is his name??  :D

 

Ahhh jealous of your northeastern fall... I was just up in Massachusetts for a week and the leaves hadn't really started to turn yet.  I miss fall!  It's really underwhelming (and hot) here in the south.

 

Water is really hard for me too, I try, but often find myself reaching for coffee instead - whoops!! ^^;;

 

:D Yay person excited about my pupster!! <3

 

His name is Jameson. He answers to Jamo, Trouble, and a ton of other nicknames me and the BF dream up. He is my heart, adventure companion, running partner, everything. See below for recent adventure pic. 

 

tumblr_odlytnJODO1spvu8qo3_500.jpg

 

We aren't quite at autumn yet but I am sure I'd really miss it if I ever moved further South. We have just the slightest bite in the air at the unholy hour that I need to wake up to go to work. Sending colorful leafy's your way ~~~

 

Water is hard. Coffee is awesome. I tend to carry around reusable water bottles with me, so I'll track how many times I drain them daily. My issue is that when I'm running around at work I forget to stop to drink water. Then when I come home I reach for the beer :/  Water > Beer will be the test but It'll be good. 

 

On 9/19/2016 at 10:24 AM, shaar said:

 

So confession: I was really nervous about posting this group and I kinda hemmed and hawed over it for a few weeks because - of course - what if I posted it and no one cared or no one came or no one was ready enough to say "hi let's do this!"?  It was my big fear.  But we're only what, two days in?  And you guys!  YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!

 

You are here!!!!

 

GOSH I'm so happy and excited!!!!!!

 

giphy.gif

 

I had a slow Monday morning but this has already made it so much better!!!  I hope everyone's Monday is starting well, or going well, depending on where you are in our Earth-time-continuum. :)

Personally I'm super happy you posted this. Work's been pretty mentally tough lately and I need a place sometimes to remind me that it's all good and Breathing is quite important. (Which is funny because at work I'm the 'calm' one who reminds everyone else to breathe and center themselves before facing the oncoming chaos.)uote this
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