ManicSpider's Fortress Siege #1

[ManicSpider]

Just had a minor victory with the "cheat day" concept. Really, really craving chips and takeaway tonight. I bought a bag of chips, but then put in the cupboard because Saturday is the day I can eat chips if I want, and made myself my steak, veggies and rice  

 

I think if it works well, when it gets to the plateau point I'll change it by saying "only after lunch" or "only for certain quantities of certain foods", but at the moment what's been keeping my cravings at bay was that I knew I could eat fish and chips, or doughnuts or whatever on Saturday. Not that I will eat everything I had a craving for during the week, but as a put-off tactic for my brain it's excellent! 

[zettarooski]

40 minutes ago, ManicSpider said:

Just had a minor victory with the "cheat day" concept. Really, really craving chips and takeaway tonight. I bought a bag of chips, but then put in the cupboard because Saturday is the day I can eat chips if I want, and made myself my steak, veggies and rice  

 

I think if it works well, when it gets to the plateau point I'll change it by saying "only after lunch" or "only for certain quantities of certain foods", but at the moment what's been keeping my cravings at bay was that I knew I could eat fish and chips, or doughnuts or whatever on Saturday. Not that I will eat everything I had a craving for during the week, but as a put-off tactic for my brain it's excellent! 

That's a great idea! You know you can have it in the future, but maybe you'll lose that crazy craving feeling by the time Saturday comes.

[ixaera]

12 hours ago, ManicSpider said:

I think maybe instead of telling myself I need to do "cardio" (which my mind associates with the horrible pain of trying to run) I should tell myself I need to do "walking" so walking becomes the point. 

 

GACK cardio

I try to move more, because holy cow am I sedentary outside the gym. My go to is easy elliptical for however long (I aim for at least 2 miles, but just go til I'm bored or gym buddy is done chatting). Sometimes walking outside if the weather's good. And strongwoman conditioning, which is holy moly full of tireds. Just once a week for now. Working up to 2x, which is probably where I'll stop on conditioning training, because dammit cardio

[Volki]

The word cardio scares me too and makes me want to avoid it at all cost.

I tend to go along with it better if I know I am just going for a walk or a hike. I can't

do cardio inside personally, maybe find some routes to walk nearby the house so you can see things as you walk around.

But good job on working out a plan for cheat days

 

[ManicSpider]

10 hours ago, zettarooski said:

That's a great idea! You know you can have it in the future, but maybe you'll lose that crazy craving feeling by the time Saturday comes.

 

That actually worked! It's Saturday morning here in Australia now, and last night I could have sworn breakfast would be a pack of Twisties, but by the time I woke up I was fine just to have my usual breakfast of eggs and toast. The only difference was every other morning I have one slice of toast and today I let myself have 2 That second slice of toast was the BEST. 

 

8 hours ago, ixaera said:

My go to is easy elliptical for however long (I aim for at least 2 miles, but just go til I'm bored or gym buddy is done chatting)

 

I love the eliptical  I don't have a gym as such, I do powerlifting at my coach's gym, but I can't just duck in to use the cardio machines. I just had a moment of "Actually, isn't there an open gym session on the weekend?" So I'll talk to my coach about how much it would be to pop in on a Saturday just to cardio. 

 

8 hours ago, Volki said:

I tend to go along with it better if I know I am just going for a walk or a hike. I can't

do cardio inside personally, maybe find some routes to walk nearby the house so you can see things as you walk around.

But good job on working out a plan for cheat days

 

I know how you feel! I do get bored on the machines, which is why I don't have a regular gym membership. It's Spring here, so I'm getting my bike repaired so I can start riding again. Also I'm considering starting to swim again, but a) I'm quite large and teens mock me wearing swimsuits, and b) I'm prone to bursitis in my shoulder joint and swimming can be motion-repetitive. My son loves going on bushwalks with me, so I'm going to try and find time for those around his schedule. 

[ManicSpider]

Week 1, Day 6

 

Near the end of a very successful week! 

 

Eat - Yes, spot on my calories with a good mindset win. Also drank all my water. 

 

Sleep - Yes, got plenty of sleep

 

Lift - So the plan was to take my son for a walk after work after I picked him up from his Dad's place, but it was raining and he had a fever so I just took him home. He didn't even read before bed, just went straight to sleep, poor bug. 

 

But seriously a so much better week one that last challenge. Woo for progress!

[Emerald_Dragonfly]

Well done!

[ManicSpider]

Thanks @Emerald_Dragonfly! I'm actually really happy with how I've done this week overall, which is kind of a weird feeling for me. I can be super judgmental of myself. 

 

Week 1, Day 7

 

So today I did nothing. I didn't quite get enough sleep (though pretty close), I only drank about 500ml of water, and I literally ate anything I wanted.

 

 

So my rule for Saturdays is going to have to be that I get to eat whatever I want, but I still have to drink enough water and walk for 30 minutes. I can't just let the whole day slide. 

 

Now for some Introspection, woooo!

 

 

 

Despite how much food I ate yesterday (and all of it crap) I'm feeling really positive that this will work for me. I'm not good at self-denial. If I say "We're not eating chips anymore", my brain basically acts like a rebellious toddler. But I *am* excellent at putting myself off. I use this when I used to get anxiety about deadlines - "I know that right now curling in a corner and crying sounds awesome right now, and we are totally going to do that, but first we're going to work out butt off and meet this deadline. Then you can have a really good cry and feel sorry for yourself under blankets with a movie." Also when I started lifting and I was so unfit even the warmup was hell. I used to say to myself "Okay, so you don't want to go, we're just going to go for the warm-up and then we will totally leave if it's too much." Of course, by the time I got warmed up I never wanted to go

 

So this is the same principle. But my brain has to actually trust I'm going to do it. So I gave in to anything yesterday, and parts of it weren't as satisfying as I thought they'd be (like the Salt and Vinegar chips I had - they tasted like cardboard and settled like concrete). I found myself wishing I'd used my cheat day to have a chicken curry with lots of potato and sweet potato, which is what I'll make next week. 

 

I woke up this morning and had my usual breakfast, and I don't have any desire to eat the way I did yesterday today. I'm also confident that if I want something badly enough I can have it next Saturday. I weighed myself yesterday morning, and I'll weigh myself again next Saturday morning to see what impact it has on my weight by the end of the week. 

[Sam Ashen]

2 minutes ago, ManicSpider said:

So today I did nothing. I didn't quite get enough sleep (though pretty close), I only drank about 500ml of water, and I literally ate anything I wanted.

 

 

I have some days where I feel tired and hungry and crappy.  So I assume I died and therefore need to respawn.  I still have no idea how many calories I need to consume in order to respawn.

 

It happened to me once back in July when I attempted to do 10x10x97.5 kg within 30 minutes and I hit a wall at the sixth set and had no energy left to do deadlifts afterwards.  So I figured I must have died.  That evening I was at a counterfeit Australian steakhouse and ate 2700 calories and left still feeling hungry.  And the next day, I was feeling tired, sore, crappy, and yes, hungry like Korax the Ghoul.

 

So I think I get the feeling!

 

7 minutes ago, ManicSpider said:

So my rule for Saturdays is going to have to be that I get to eat whatever I want, but I still have to drink enough water and walk for 30 minutes. I can't just let the whole day slide.

 

I don't remember if you track.  But how do you feel about tracking these days, too?

 

8 minutes ago, ManicSpider said:

Despite how much food I ate yesterday (and all of it crap) I'm feeling really positive that this will work for me. I'm not good at self-denial. If I say "We're not eating chips anymore", my brain basically acts like a rebellious toddler. But I *am* excellent at putting myself off. I use this when I used to get anxiety about deadlines - "I know that right now curling in a corner and crying sounds awesome right now, and we are totally going to do that, but first we're going to work out butt off and meet this deadline. Then you can have a really good cry and feel sorry for yourself under blankets with a movie." Also when I started lifting and I was so unfit even the warmup was hell. I used to say to myself "Okay, so you don't want to go, we're just going to go for the warm-up and then we will totally leave if it's too much." Of course, by the time I got warmed up I never wanted to go

 

So this all sounds solid to me!

 

I believe six days on and one day off will make you happier - and more successful!

[ManicSpider]

1 minute ago, Sam Ashen said:

I have some days where I feel tired and hungry and crappy.  So I assume I died and therefore need to respawn.  I still have no idea how many calories I need to consume in order to respawn.

 

I love that idea! I'm stealing it for future thinking  

 

3 minutes ago, Sam Ashen said:

I don't remember if you track.  But how do you feel about tracking these days, too?

 

I do track usually, but I'd be too embarrassed to track my cheat days. I think a lot of you guys here are working on a different level to me. People talk a lot about worrying about getting fat, but I've been fat my whole adult life and so it kind of makes me laugh when they worry about *a* slice of cake when I have to worry about eating the whole cake. It's taking a really long time to move from literally no restraints at all on my eating (which is where I was 3-4 years ago), to now where I have established a fairly healthy usual eating pattern but get derailed by binge eating. 

 

10 minutes ago, Sam Ashen said:

I believe six days on and one day off will make you happier - and more successful!

 

I'm actually feeling happier today than I have in a while, so I'll just keep doing this and measuring stuff and make adjustments as I move along The forums here have been really good. I think one of the mistakes I made last time was I didn't engage enough on the forums to feel engaged in the challenge as a whole. 

[Sam Ashen]

Here is some Steve wisdom: Don't call it a cheat day. Cheating makes you feel bad, assuming of course you are Light Side and not Dark Side. Call it a mindful eating decision.

Sam's addition to that advice: I call it a day when I am actively attempting a new MFP High Score.

So I track cheat days. No high score in many months. Mine is just shy of 7000. I take pictures and show everybody.

Meanwhile the trainer's reaction is just priceless.

Sent from my LG-D800 using Tapatalk

[ManicSpider]

1 hour ago, Sam Ashen said:

Here is some Steve wisdom: Don't call it a cheat day. Cheating makes you feel bad, assuming of course you are Light Side and not Dark Side. Call it a mindful eating decision.

Sam's addition to that advice: I call it a day when I am actively attempting a new MFP High Score.

So I track cheat days. No high score in many months. Mine is just shy of 7000. I take pictures and show everybody.

Meanwhile the trainer's reaction is just priceless.

Sent from my LG-D800 using Tapatalk

 

*lol* Those are great suggestions! Thanks I'll track next week and try to own it more. 

[ixaera]

12 hours ago, ManicSpider said:

If I say "We're not eating chips anymore", my brain basically acts like a rebellious toddler. But I *am* excellent at putting myself off. I use this when I used to get anxiety about deadlines - "I know that right now curling in a corner and crying sounds awesome right now, and we are totally going to do that, but first we're going to work out butt off and meet this deadline. Then you can have a really good cry and feel sorry for yourself under blankets with a movie." Also when I started lifting and I was so unfit even the warmup was hell. I used to say to myself "Okay, so you don't want to go, we're just going to go for the warm-up and then we will totally leave if it's too much." Of course, by the time I got warmed up I never wanted to go

 

This works really really well for me too! It's a good trick to use. The only thing I've given up (THREE WEEKS NOW OMGZ) is soda/diet soda because of addiction to the point of spending more money than was OK. At first I just put things off for a day, then a few days, now I can put it off for a week (which is usually enough for my goals). Sometimes the desire for whatever it was goes away, and sometimes I keep my self-promise and have Thing in a week.

 

12 hours ago, ManicSpider said:

I do track usually, but I'd be too embarrassed to track my cheat days. I think a lot of you guys here are working on a different level to me. People talk a lot about worrying about getting fat, but I've been fat my whole adult life and so it kind of makes me laugh when they worry about *a* slice of cake when I have to worry about eating the whole cake

 

I actually understand. I was fat my whole adult life until I hit about 32/33. I just kept trying and trying, and it eventually clicks. And it's not like one day you struggle and one day you don't. It's JUST like weightlifting. You start struggling with the bar, but it gets better with time and consistency. What I struggle with now isn't the same things I struggled with when I was obese. Maintenance has new exciting things to learn! And yeah, the demons try to get at you with the fear of gaining JUST a couple of pounds (which is nothing compared to what I lost), so it can be some serious mindgames no matter where you're at on the path.

 

You're doing FANTASTIC, a lot of the battle is just showing up, acknowledging what's going on, and taking responsibility and making better and better plans (without demonizing yourself for perfectly human mistakes). Taking too many stairs at once is a ticket for the failtrain.

 

I will say, and this is just me, I don't know whether you'd have the same luck, but I found I had a major turnaround when I started tracking my faildays too. For me, seeing the damage there on the screen with numbers was something I could digest and then deal with. (er, no pun intended there)

[RedStone]

7 hours ago, ixaera said:

 

You're doing FANTASTIC, a lot of the battle is just showing up, acknowledging what's going on, and taking responsibility and making better and better plans (without demonizing yourself for perfectly human mistakes). Taking too many stairs at once is a ticket for the failtrain.

 

^^^^^SO MUCH THIS^^^^^

 

*tears up

[ManicSpider]

10 hours ago, ixaera said:

At first I just put things off for a day, then a few days, now I can put it off for a week (which is usually enough for my goals). Sometimes the desire for whatever it was goes away, and sometimes I keep my self-promise and have Thing in a week.

 

Awesome! That's exactly what I'm going for If I start looking too far ahead, I start to catastrophise a little. Which is basically what happened when I'd lost 39 kilos. I thought "So one more kilo then I've lost 40. Then soon I'll be under 100, then I'll be at my goal weight, and more people might start hitting on me in social encounters and it would be uncomfortable" - so I put 10 kilos back on :-/ So I need to focus really strongly on the process and not think about the outcomes. Which actually is probably good advice for my writing as well

 

11 hours ago, ixaera said:

You're doing FANTASTIC, a lot of the battle is just showing up, acknowledging what's going on, and taking responsibility and making better and better plans (without demonizing yourself for perfectly human mistakes). Taking too many stairs at once is a ticket for the failtrain.

 

 Thank you  

[ManicSpider]

Week 2, Day 1

 

Good start to the week! I felt like it was a good start to the week, but after typing it all out I guess it was more of an average start to the week  

 

Eat - Ate weirdly. It was the first day of daylight savings (coming into the Australian summer) and my bodyclock was wayyy out. I had breakfast around noon, then had dinner at the usual time, then decided to have another couple of eggs in the evening before bed because I was still hungry. So in a way good because lots of protein and not much fat, but ended the day about 200 calories under. Still counts as a tick. Drank all my water. 

 

Sleep - No good. Combination of daylight savings and a general restlessness meant I was up till about 3am, then my son woke me up at 6am. 

 

Lift - I did about an hour of sweeping and picking up lawn refuse, which I guess kind of counts as cardio? I was super-tired afterwards. 

 

I helped my son get set up with a few plants. I'm personally an absolutely terrible gardener, but he really enjoys it (he does a gardening program at school) so here's hoping my black thumb doesn't rub off on his strawberries, sunflowers and tomatoes

 

 

 

[ixaera]

14 minutes ago, ManicSpider said:

 

What an adorable little guy!

[Sam Ashen]

16 minutes ago, ManicSpider said:

black thumb

 

Black thumb!

 

I am going to have to use this expression on my father!

[ManicSpider]

Week 2, Day 2

 

Another weird day. It was a Public Holiday and I was coming down with what my son had all weekend. 

 

Eat - Ate too little. 400 calories under, but still counts as a tick. Also drank all my water. 

 

Sleep - Had a napcident...

...(see Lift) and then couldn't sleep at all. Went to bed perfectly at 11:30. Told myself if I lay there long enough I'd drift off, stared at the back of my eyelids till 3am, then said "bugger this" and got up and watched Chinese dramas and played Torchlight till it was time to get ready. Now it's lunchtime at work and I am so very exhausted. But if I sleep before tonight I'll just have the same problem tomorrow, so I just have to power through. Hopefully I'll get my third wind soon. 

 

Lift - Was meant to be a squat day, and because it was a Public Holiday the session was going to be earlier in the day. After lunch my son just wanted to lie on the bed and read, so I did the same. Next thing you know, I wake up, Marcus is asleep, the sun was going down, and I had five missed calls from my mother who'd offered to mind my bub during lifting. So... oops :-/ The whole thing didn't seem to effect Marcus though. He went to bed straight after dinner and slept till 7am this morning. He must actually have been unwell, he never goes to bed without reading for at least an hour.

[ixaera]

Boo, I hope you feel better soon

[RedStone]

14 minutes ago, ixaera said:

Boo, I hope you feel better soon

 

So second  

[Emerald_Dragonfly]

t.  @Taddea ZhaanZhaanZhaanZhZhaanZhaanZ

 

(Um...let's ignore the line above, shall we?)

 

Trying to say that I hope that the sleep gets better.

[ManicSpider]

Thanks guys  I'm still feeling a bit under the weather, both physically and a bit mentally, but it'll pass. I got really down because instead of getting a tax refund apparently this year I owe the tax office money. I'd been relying on that money for PAX and now I'm trying to figure out how I can fix this. 

 

Week 2, Day 3

 

Struggled through my day at work, got my third wind and then there was a thunderstorm with hail and everything and I love thunderstorms so it was great. 

 

Eat - Ate on track and drank all my water. Because I was up at 4am, I had some toast then which I wasn't supposed to, but I made it fit in my calories for the day. 

 

Sleep - Slept really well. Took 2 night cold and flu tablets, and because I forgot they knock me out I slept straight through all night and even through both my alarms until I was late to work today *lol* 

 

Lift - Thunderstorm conspired against any attempts at cardio. 

[Blocky]

That sucks with the shitty weather. We seemed to miss all the storms in our area. Are you still in canberra? When I was a youngun, I used to get allmy cardio rollerblading around the lake.

[ManicSpider]

20 minutes ago, Blocky said:

That sucks with the shitty weather. We seemed to miss all the storms in our area. Are you still in canberra? When I was a youngun, I used to get allmy cardio rollerblading around the lake.

 

I really like riding around the lake. I just got my bike fixed, so I'm planning to do some of that on the weekend. The difficulty is finding time during the week. I should try and teach my son to ride better so he can come with me.