Ready to vanquish

[jonfirestar]

Challenge 2: Are you ready?

Or will you hide in bed and wait for death?

 

Fear gripped the man as he stared across the dark alley. The only light was the bright orange from the streetlight that drained the colour out of everything but he could see it. Crouched in the darkness; a black silhouette that pulsated and writhed.

 

His stomach seized in a knot. His heart was making its way up his throat beating so furiously that he was sure the creature could hear it. His hand gripped the cold steel of the weapon but his arms and legs felt like lead.

 

Rich wasn’t ready. This wasn’t what he did! He didn’t know how. He didn’t know what he was supposed to do with it. “Yes you do.”

 

The voice wasn’t real. Or it was. It was in his own head but not. At least he thought it wasn’t. Or he was going crazy - that was a possibility he’d considered. “Get ready,” The voice was back. Louder this time more crisp female but with an unearthly yet familiar accent.

 

His hands were going numb from gripping the sword. The short nerves in his wrist, casualty of being a keyboard warrior causing his fingers to tingle. “Now!”

 

The creature twisted. Its body moving in an unnatural arc. It entered into the light but it’s shape became no clearer. Like he didn’t want to comprehend what he was seeing. The creatures eyes, a hundred glistening black beads, rocked in it’s head and focused on the man. For a split second they made eye contact and he could sense the deep vicious intelligence behind them.  Rich knew it was too late to run now.

 

The creature lunged, its body darting forward, skipping through space in a blink and reared up in front of the man.

 

Rich screamed, his throat searing with pain. Instinct took over and he swung the weapon upwards. The blade, glistened gold in the orange light and sparked into a blinding blue light as it made contact with the creature.

 

Although the creature looked like a combination of smoke and oil and blade hit resistance as it touched but the man drove with all his strength. The blade bit into the creature's flesh but no more.

 

The beast squealed. The sound of a thousand yelping puppies and yanked backwards. It’s mouth opened; a black pit filled with silver razors and then it was gone. Blinking, slithering away into the darkness.

 

“You let it go,” the voice was still in his head but the woman was there.

 

He hadn’t seen her appear but she stood out in darkness. Her skin was pale but her hair was as black as coal. She was clad in a mail shirt that hung to her knees. It was nicked and had been repaired numerous times. Scars could be seen on her bare skin.

 

 

Her eyes, green as emeralds, were hard and cold. She stared through him. The man pondered again if he’d lost his mind. “You let it go,” She repeated this time the words coming from her. Her voice wasn’t human but he didn’t know what to call it.

 

Rich dropped the sword. Its straight blade clattered onto the asphalt. He could see the blackness staining its brilliant length. “I tried,” he said. “I couldn’t cut it!”

 

“You cut it but you didn’t kill it,” her voice was cold and unforgiving.

 

“I couldn’t. I tried. I’m not ready.”

 

“Then when it comes back you will be dead. Just like she is.”

 

Rich bit his lip. He could taste his own blood. “Help me. Make me ready.”

 

She smiled her lips curling up at the edges. At that moment she looked more human than any time since he’d met her. “I can’t make you ready. I can help you not die. I can help you kill it. I can help you kill the others but I can’t make you ready.”

“I don’t…”

 

“You are either ready. Or you curl up and die. You might die anyway but you will die a coward if you are not ready. Hiding in your own bed knowing the beast is out there. Knowing that is after you and yours. Are you ready?”

 

Rich reached down and picked up the sword. It was warm to the touch. The creatures blood (?) steamed on the blade. He nodded slowly and stood up. “I’m ready.”

 

Her smile widened making her look human again. She looked him up and down. “It’s going to be hard work. For the both of us. I can help, but you need to do what I tell you.”

 

He nodded his resolve building with each second. “Okay. Let's do this.”

 

“Good. Go home. I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

“But…”

 

“Get your sleep. You are going to need the rest. We start tomorrow. We train hard. You hurt it and we have some time but when you notice them, us. More follow.”

 

 

------------------------------------------------------------

Heh, not sure where I’m going with this yet

 

My first challenge was about building and maintaining a stable base for achieving my diet and fitness goals. I had fun but found it pretty easy. Even if I did fail on some points. This time I want to step it up a notch and do some hard work. Mainly based around my fitness goals but with a heavy focus on scheduling my time better. There are enough hours in the day. I just need to make those hours work for me!

 

The story is some sort of metaphor for vanquishing personal demons. For me these demons are gluttony (in the form of binge eating and emotional eating), sloth and fear (in the form of social anxiety).

Slaying Gluttony:

 

Honestly I feel like I’ve got a good hand on this at the moment. So my goal for the challenge here is basically more of the same:

 

Maintain my food plan/log.

 

No fast food/make a homemade lunch during the workweek.

 

Make real whole food.

 

There are no great changes needed to be made here but I do feel like this issue is important enough to me to keep tracking.

 

Defeating Sloth:

 

This one has two stages. Planning and training:

 

Planning:

Create and maintain a workable daily schedule with  the following rules: Time to meditate each day. Time to study each day. If it is a workout day time to workout. Time for fun (read/watch tv/play video games). Bed by 11pm Sunday-Thursday.  This needs to be in place by end of week 0.

 

Set out a monthly budget (manage money better to save more and avoid overspending).

 

Training:

Do 4 workouts per week. 3 lifting days. Friday evening for longer cardio. (The exact form of my training sessions might change if I change my gym but I want to try for 4 a week for the duration of this challenge. Will back it off after the challenge if I feel like it is too much. I really want to see how I feel if I do this though.

 

Vanquishing Fear:

 

These are more specific one off goals that I need/want to address but find it oddly difficult. My anxiety is entirely irrational (oddly recognizing that doesn’t make it any easier to cope with). Essentially it is a short list of rather simple tasks that for inexplicable reasons I’ve been putting off or delaying.

 

Change Gym. I’ve pretty much exhausted the resources in the small community gym I go to. It's easy because it is quiet and I feel comfortable going there but it is awkward to get to after work and as I mentioned I’ve exhausted the resources. I want to take out a membership with the health club close to work. It has a lot of facilities I want to take advantage of ( the weights room and a pool mainly).

 

Book my exam: This was the forfeit for losing part of my previous challenge. So by the end of this challenge I will have a date booked in for my exam. I still want to be realistic about the time it will take to study but I want the date in stone to work towards. Concrete goals.

 

Finish renewing my passport. This is linked to above. I need the passport to take the exam. I also want to travel again but I’ve really had a hard time getting it done.

 

Scoring:

Last challenge I had a points based system with rewards and punishments for success or failure.

 

Slightly different this time round. I’m working on consistency so I am going to use a rolling score. For each consecutive day I complete I will add a point. If I break the chain without reasonable excuse the counter resets to the previous Sunday (for example tomorrow I am at work until about 9pm with a 12-13 hour day so I won’t beat myself up if I don’t get into the gym to do lifting. I’m still going to try and get a workout done though).

 

For these items I can get a maximum of 156 points I’m going to be aiming for a total of 130 points. For every fear goal I miss it is -30 points (I fail if I miss any of them).

 

Now if you'll excuse me I've some demons to battle!

 

 

[Yasha92]

So spooky! Following along. Love your goals, I too need to climb the paperwork mountain that leads to passports.

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[shaar]

I really like your Vanquishing Fear quest!  I too have been putting off small easy tasks.... and it makes me anxious.  Why, brain?!!?!  Goo don you for being mindful of stuff that needs to get done, and attacking it!!

[jonfirestar]

16 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

 

So spooky! Following along. Love your goals, I too need to climb the paperwork mountain that leads to passports.

 

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Thanks. Some of these things I've been putting off so long that its getting silly!

 

2 hours ago, shaar said:

I really like your Vanquishing Fear quest!  I too have been putting off small easy tasks.... and it makes me anxious.  Why, brain?!!?!  Goo don you for being mindful of stuff that needs to get done, and attacking it

Exactly! The small petty thing causes anxiety so I avoid dealing with it and with avoiding it I create even more anxiety! Its a vicious circle!

[StarRuby]

Following!

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[jonfirestar]

“Are you going to sleep all day?”

 

Rich’s eyes snapped open and he leaped up in the bed. His feet tangled in the sheets and he fell forwards faceplanting onto the carpeted floor. The woman giggled. “Nice moves!” She said.

 

Rich stood up and brushed himself down. It was her. Definately her but he’d never seen her without her armour. Just jeans and a white shirt. Her black hair hung loose behind her. She wore a pair of black and pink rimmed glasses that diverted the attention away from her jewel like eyes.

 

Last night he’d have sworn she wasn’t human. Today he wasn’t so sure. “How did you get in?” He asked.

 

“I used a credit card to force the lock… What did you expect me to say I’d turned into a ball of light and floated in through the letterbox?”

 

Rich shrugged. “Kinda,” he admitted.

 

“Even if I could do that what makes you think I’d use that kind of energy to get in here. It’s not exactly a fortress.” She sat crouched down into a squat. “Enough talk. It’s time to start. Are you still ready?”

 

Rich drew himself upright the best he could. “Yes.” He said.

 

“Good. The first thing you need to practice is how to sense the enemy.”

 

“But I can see them!”

 

“I didn’t say see I said sense. You’ve only seen one of them and you could only just comprehend what you saw. Shut up and sit down. Close your eyes. Deep breaths.”

 

Rich did as he was told.

 

“I’d tell you to reach out with your mind but I’m not a very good teacher. Instead I’m s going to come in and tug. You will feel it and when you do let it happen but make it the only time you let someone do it.”

 

I liquid warmth passed into his chest it sent tingling shocks down his spine, down his legs until it felt like energy was pouring from his every pore. Then he felt something grab hold of him. His very self. He wanted to recoil from the touch but he let it happen. The world blazed alight behind his closed eyes and he could see her a bright furnace of golden energy. Then it was gone and he was back in the mundane world. His eyes snapped open and he gasped for air. “What are you!?” He asked.

 

The woman smirked. “I’m human,” she paused, her emerald eyes darting upwards. “Mostly”.

 

“Mostly?” Rich asked.

 

She shrugged. “Practice that every day. You want that feeling but you want to reach for it not get dragged their. If something pulls you into that state it's bad news. Every morning practice that until it becomes natural.

 

“But…”

 

“Practice. I’ll make us some breakfast…”

 

“Wait. What is your name?” Rich felt stupid for asking her this now. Not a week ago when he’d first met her.

 

“Leigha, now practice. There is a lot I want to go over today and we need to do it before dark.”

 

“What happens when it's dark?” Rich asked.

 

“We see if you really are ready.”

 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

Its 5:30 and I'm stuck at work for at least another 3 hours. I've got nothing to do as my day has ended and I'm just waiting for a meeting later. That's one of the joys of working in a 24 hour industry like the internet.

 

Today has not been a great day food wise. I've eaten too many sweets and too much pizza. Its hard to not do it when I'm actually hungry and I know I'm not going to get another chance to eat for hours. Still I am determined to be pragmatic. A single week 0 day of over indulgence is nothing in the grander scheme of a healthy life. So long as it is a day and things get on track for the challenge.

 

I've been working on making sure I hit my meditation as soon as I get up which is going quite well and I'm working on the spreadsheet for my new schedule. All good. Towards the end of the challenge I have a party which will be a night of drinking but I don't do that often at all (a handful of times a year at best) so I'm going to let myself have that one. Balance is good. It is conveniently not on a gym night but it will play havoc on my sleep for that week.

 

I want to hit a quick workout at home tonight nothing huge or too long because I'm going to be late in but I just want to keep skin in the game. Tomorrow I'm going to dive into the meat of the challenge but with something that involves time scheduling its hard to start it on the day that schedule is thrown out of the window

 

 

[jonfirestar]

3 minutes ago, StarRuby said:

Following!

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Thanks! Good to have you on board!

[jonfirestar]

I tried to work out tonight but about half way in fatigue hit and I decided I would probably end up hurting myself if I carried on. Still got in and put in some effort. Better things for the rest of the week

[shaar]

Pizza, once in a while, just not all the time!  This is my reasoning, too.  I don't like to deny myself "bad foods" because then I get resentful and unhappy.  Moderation, etc. etc.~

 

You're right, some effort is always better than none!  Onward and upward

[StarRuby]

Way to go! A little of something is better than nothing, I say!

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[jonfirestar]

6 hours ago, shaar said:

Pizza, once in a while, just not all the time!  This is my reasoning, too.  I don't like to deny myself "bad foods" because then I get resentful and unhappy.  Moderation, etc. etc.~

 

You're right, some effort is always better than none!  Onward and upward

 

Exactly. My logic brain tells me this is right but for some reason its hard not to get dissapointed when you've tried so hard to break out of bad food habits. Still I said no when the other department brought pizza today. 

 

 

6 hours ago, StarRuby said:

Way to go! A little of something is better than nothing, I say!

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Thanks. My goal was just to get in there and try because I want to get used to the idea of sticking to my fitness goals.

[jonfirestar]

I feel like it is just typical that I chose a week to start a challenge about keeping a tighter schedule on my time where I can't in any shape or form keep to that schedule! I'm spending all day out tomorrow at a college interviewing for apprentice level positions. I find this whole process actually emotionally draining. When you can feel how nervous somebody is and you know that you are going to make a decision that will directly effect their future but can only pick two of them. Maybe too much empathy but giving, job interviews make me feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

 

It does mean another meal out but it should be one that is easily managed so that it can be good and healthy. The good news is that it is also a short day for me. So I should be done fairly early which means plenty of time for the gym tomorrow. I always suffer when my routine is interrupted. Maybe this is a sign that it is something I need to consider as I try to regiment my time more effectively. 

 

I shouldn't complain. Work is going very well for me. I'm getting an assistant, which is bizarre to me. The idea is that I'll be able to offload some of my day to day stuff and then take on some more high level development and ops stuff and that in itself does make it more important that I make the time to do my study. 

[Kestrel Grey]

21 minutes ago, jonfirestar said:

I feel like it is just typical that I chose a week to start a challenge about keeping a tighter schedule on my time where I can't in any shape or form keep to that schedule! I'm spending all day out tomorrow at a college interviewing for apprentice level positions. I find this whole process actually emotionally draining. When you can feel how nervous somebody is and you know that you are going to make a decision that will directly effect their future but can only pick two of them. Maybe too much empathy but giving, job interviews make me feel like the biggest asshole in the world.

 

It does mean another meal out but it should be one that is easily managed so that it can be good and healthy. The good news is that it is also a short day for me. So I should be done fairly early which means plenty of time for the gym tomorrow. I always suffer when my routine is interrupted. Maybe this is a sign that it is something I need to consider as I try to regiment my time more effectively. 

 

I shouldn't complain. Work is going very well for me. I'm getting an assistant, which is bizarre to me. The idea is that I'll be able to offload some of my day to day stuff and then take on some more high level development and ops stuff and that in itself does make it more important that I make the time to do my study. 

 

A good bizarre feeling I hope. Delegating is a skill unto itself, but I am very happy for you that you can spend more time on important stuff. Study on!

 

(I am one of the asses who used to enjoy giving interviews back in the day. Nothing like seeing how woefully under-prepared most interviewees are to give your own confidence a boost.)

[jonfirestar]

7 hours ago, Cascade said:

I am one of the asses who used to enjoy giving interviews back in the day. Nothing like seeing how woefully under-prepared most interviewees are to give your own confidence a boost.

I won't deny it isn't also really empowering! It does boost your confidence! I think part of it is that I was once the guy who was struggling to get a job and I see myself in some of the candidates that I interview. I still say no far more often than I say yes. 

 

I am pretty sucky at delegation. It is something I've been working on, out of necessity. I sometimes get into the mindset that the only way the job is going to get done properly is if I do it myself, but it is an unsustainable attitude.  The point of the assistant though is to take on some of the stuff that I cannot delegate onto the support team. Anyway work is getting pretty exciting for me. 

[jonfirestar]

The day left me predictably exhausted. By the sixth candidate they'd all blended into one but all in all it was a worthwhile thing. It was a short day and I got off a little early so no excuses not to make it to the gym. I felt really weak today. Things I was pumping out last week just felt like a struggle. I did, however, go through my entire workout and my form on some exercises seems to be improving. 

 

I'm not sure if my tiredness at the gym was because I've not been getting enough sleep, I've been pushing myself too hard or the two pints of real ale that I may or may not have drunk today (but definitely did). Or some combination of the above. I've made a note to be absolutely 100% in bed by 11 tonight (it's been midnight for the week so far for a scant 6 hours of sleep).

 

I finally worked out my schedule: 

 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djip8JI_1rTZPV7nxrAuV2skLSgNunC_4JjTez0vNXY/pubhtml

 

The only thing to do now is to stick to it for the next 4 weeks.  

[Wild Wolf]

3 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

The only thing to do now is to stick to it for the next 4 weeks. 

 

You got this brother! Loved reading through the little story clips you got going  We all have our demons but a lot of times we never take up arms about it. I'll sharpen my warglaive if I'm ever called upon and help you destroy whatever demons stand in your path. Remember, the best way to victory is with a little help.

 

3 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

The day left me predictably exhausted. By the sixth candidate they'd all blended into one but all in all it was a worthwhile thing. It was a short day and I got off a little early so no excuses not to make it to the gym.

 

"Losers make excuses-Winners make it happen"- not sure where I heard that, but it's been a life motto of mine since I was an awkward teen. Well done, Jon. Not every day is going to be perfect, but taking advantage of small opportunities like you did is a key to success. It sounds like having and assistant is going to make life MUCH easier so I'm excited for you dude! 

 

W0lf

[Yasha92]

Are you interviewing for your own assistant? How exciting!

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[Charlie_Quinn]

On 9/22/2016 at 7:46 AM, jonfirestar said:

I am pretty sucky at delegation. It is something I've been working on, out of necessity. I sometimes get into the mindset that the only way the job is going to get done properly is if I do it myself, but it is an unsustainable attitude.  The point of the assistant though is to take on some of the stuff that I cannot delegate onto the support team. Anyway work is getting pretty exciting for me.

 

I know this feeling all too well. I train the support staff where I work and it's hard to break that "I'll just do it myself" mindset. I have to constantly remind myself that even though it may be quicker for me to do tasks myself, I'm failing as a trainer if I don't take the time to teach a trainee what they need to know. 

 

Sounds like some good things are happening for you at work!

[shaar]

Wow, that interview schedule sounds seriously draining... I hope you are recovering ok!!  I agree, I think I'd have too much empathy for all the anxious people interviewing and have a really hard time choosing and being kind of objective.  Auugghh~

[Shello]

17 hours ago, jonfirestar said:

The day left me predictably exhausted. By the sixth candidate they'd all blended into one but all in all it was a worthwhile thing. It was a short day and I got off a little early so no excuses not to make it to the gym. I felt really weak today. Things I was pumping out last week just felt like a struggle. I did, however, go through my entire workout and my form on some exercises seems to be improving. 

 

I'm not sure if my tiredness at the gym was because I've not been getting enough sleep, I've been pushing myself too hard or the two pints of real ale that I may or may not have drunk today (but definitely did). Or some combination of the above. I've made a note to be absolutely 100% in bed by 11 tonight (it's been midnight for the week so far for a scant 6 hours of sleep).

 

I finally worked out my schedule: 

 

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djip8JI_1rTZPV7nxrAuV2skLSgNunC_4JjTez0vNXY/pubhtml

 

The only thing to do now is to stick to it for the next 4 weeks.  

 

Great job going through the workout even when you weren't feeling it.  +1 Habit, +1 Form.  It's OK that things felt heavier.  

 

Also great job on the schedule.  You can totally do this.  What's your strategy for those days when your work schedule gets blown out of the water?

[jonfirestar]

2 hours ago, LadyShello said:

 

Great job going through the workout even when you weren't feeling it.  +1 Habit, +1 Form.  It's OK that things felt heavier.  

 

Also great job on the schedule.  You can totally do this.  What's your strategy for those days when your work schedule gets blown out of the water?

 

 

That's a really good question. I honestly, didn't consider this when I came up with the idea over the weekend. Obviously this week has highlighted that it needs to be a consideration. Life happens and there are going to be days that are outliers. Planned or otherwise. If the power went out at work (that is literally the worst thing that could happen to a datacenter outside of an earthquake or meteor strike levelling he place) I wouldn't be a question that I'd be working late that day. Or whatever else - like the presentation come party I'm going to in a few weeks. In those cases I'm not neglecting to manage my time. So its a matter of picking back up the next day. Historically its those kind of events that send me down a bad path. So it is very important that I practice returning to schedule after disruptions.

[jonfirestar]

16 hours ago, Yasha92 said:

 

Are you interviewing for your own assistant? How exciting!

 

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actually I'm interviewing for the position created by moving someone off of the technical support desk into the assistant role, but I do get to interview my assistant but it makes it super weird to interview someone who I was sat next to just  a couple of years ago.

 

3 hours ago, shaar said:

Wow, that interview schedule sounds seriously draining... I hope you are recovering ok!!  I agree, I think I'd have too much empathy for all the anxious people interviewing and have a really hard time choosing and being kind of objective.  Auugghh~

 

It really was! For sitting in a room all day and talking to people it was more exhausting that hitting the gym. I was literally sat between these kids and approving their courses and yeah I feel like an asshole. Especially when they did nothing wrong other than not be quite as good as another one, but we had 2 spots for apprentices so it is what it is.

[jonfirestar]

On 9/23/2016 at 0:14 AM, Wild Wolf said:

You got this brother! Loved reading through the little story clips you got going  We all have our demons but a lot of times we never take up arms about it. I'll sharpen my warglaive if I'm ever called upon and help you destroy whatever demons stand in your path. Remember, the best way to victory is with a little help.

 

Thanks man! I know you've got my back when the fighting starts! Nobody better to have at my side than my Ranger brothers and sisters when things get brutal. 

 

On 9/23/2016 at 0:14 AM, Wild Wolf said:

"Losers make excuses-Winners make it happen"- not sure where I heard that, but it's been a life motto of mine since I was an awkward teen. Well done, Jon. Not every day is going to be perfect, but taking advantage of small opportunities like you did is a key to success. It sounds like having and assistant is going to make life MUCH easier so I'm excited for you dude! 

 

No truer words ever spoken. I have been under quite a lot of stress at work (as my little breakdown towards the end of my last challenge kind of points to) and I am really very excited to be able to offload some of that work. It can feel a little dire sometimes. I could bitch at length about it but I won't because I'm happy and excited about the future. All of this stuff is going on is preparation for my promotion and that promotion is literally my dream job. Think '1337 Hacker Status Achieved!' So W00t!

 

On 9/23/2016 at 9:50 AM, Charlie_Quinn said:

I know this feeling all too well. I train the support staff where I work and it's hard to break that "I'll just do it myself" mindset. I have to constantly remind myself that even though it may be quicker for me to do tasks myself, I'm failing as a trainer if I don't take the time to teach a trainee what they need to know. 

 

I have all the time in the world for people who are trying to learn but sometimes it feels like they are incredibly needy. Like they need my approval to do the simplest thing. I feel mean even voicing it though because I know that sometimes they are unsure or that they just want some reassurance. I get frustrated when I'm too busy to breathe but every ten minutes someone needs me for something that I know they can do (maybe my job is to convince them of that  ). 

 

Anyway no more bitching. 

[jonfirestar]

Leigha stood in front of the large window. The early autumn sunlight streamed in and  cast her shadow across the carpet. Her feet were now bare but otherwise she was still dressed the same. Blue jeans, tshirt and and a pair of black and pink rimmed glasses.

 

She held the wooden sword loosely in one hand, the dull tip lightly touching the carpet. The clearly defined muscles on her arms looked like coiled springs, ready to explode.  

 

The chairs  and sofa had piled at the side of the room to give them as much space as possible. It wasn’t much but she assured him it was enough.

 

Rich, now clad in his gym clothes clutched his practice sword with both hands. He felt stupid.

 

“Show me what you’ve got,” she said.

 

Rich swung forwards awkwardly. He felt the shock up to his shoulder as she deftly knocked the wooden blade aside and then the intense pain in his shin as the second blow knocked him clean off his feet.

 

He landed on his backside staring up at the woman. “Get up and this time mean it,” her voice was almost a snarl.

 

Rich started at her for a second longer. He could quit. Quitting would be easy. He could just take off. He knew his days were numbered but why not make those days easy. Have fun, be drunk.

 

The man sprung upwards. Swinging the wooden blade in a quick arc towards the woman. She parried but the move seemed to take her by surprise. “Better,” she said. “Keep your shoulders relaxed. Loosen your grip.”

 

They went back and forth for the next hour with her giving him tips on his technique. He wasn’t sure himself but she told him she was seeing some improvement.

 

“You are weak. You have no staying power, you are slow.” she said.

 

“So basically I just suck,” Rich said.

 

“No, I didn’t say that. There is potential there but we need to work on everything.”

 

 

-------------------------------

W0: Friday

Things almost went to plan yesterday. I was late out from work and the traffic was mega crazy which meant no busses for hours. I decided just to split the difference and walk home. I was going to hit the gym and do some cardio but I figured the hour or so it'd take me to walk into town would also work. I kept it brisk and got my heartrate up. I even made sure to take the route that took me over the big hill rather than around it. 

 

I lived in that part of town a number of years ago (right at the top of the aforementioned hill) so it was kind of a nostalgia trip to revisit my old stomping grounds. 

 

Otherwise things went as planned. I sat down with my study book and read for about 20 minutes. I was just thinking about coming online and putting in some NF time when I apparently just passed out into a dead sleep. 

 

When i woke up it took me a couple of minutes to figure out my watch said 3am and not 9pm (really my sleep addled mind read the analog watch as 9). Once I did I went to bed and slept for another 5 hours. This is more sleep in one night than I've had in a long, long time and I have to admit I've felt so much better for it today. 

 

I'm gong to formalize these little ramblings a bit once week 1 starts and I will start keeping score. 

 

W0: Saturday

 

Things have been much better today. Did everything according to my schedule but I really didn't have much to do, it being saturday and all. I ended up just clearing out my closet and throwing out old junk. I found an old photo album which had photos of thin me. In my whole life I've only been thin for about 2 years but I rather than sad I found the pictures to be really motivating. I know that I am my fitness level now is much better than when I started to get into shape back then. I'm older sure but I'm ready to make this happen!

 

I hit the gym like planned and felt much stronger than I have done this week and was able to pump out the deadlifts nicely. I had one or two wonky reps that I really wasn't happy with but at least I am able to recognize it. 

 

I finished things out with a little HIIT on the bike to get my heartrate going good. Feeling pretty good for the workout. 

 

Food was all on point. I'd post it all to @Wild Wolf coop but I get a little self conscious that I might seem a little obsessed with food  I really only get this way when I'm eating healthy because it is the only time I actually care about what I'm making. 

 

Thanks to @Charlie_Quinn I've come to the decision that I really want to participate in an OCR next year. So that is something to work towards. I will update once I figured out which one but it at least gives me something to focus on. 

 

[jonfirestar]

I forgot to add. I've devised a suitably devilish and motivating punishment if I fail my allotted task. I happen to have a couple of before 'I lost 40 pounds' pics that I will post if I fail to stick to my goals. And given nobody wants to see a fat man strutting his stuff in his underwear (least of all me)  it should help keep me focused.  

 

I would like to figure out a reward too but given that a few of my goals involve spending (not large amounts but large enough amounts of) money I kind of don't want it to be in the ilk of "I'll buy so and so expensive toy." Any ideas would be greatly appreciated. I'm not on a tight budget so small amounts of money are fine.