Michi will be kind to herself

[MichiruSedai]

Hello, all.  No fancy challenge theme this time. To be honest, I was debating not doing a challenge at all, after how I vanished during the last one. My depression is getting really, really bad, so I am hoping that this challenge will help me manage it. It may not be very "adventurer" but it is what it is.

 

I am sorry I stopped following all of your challenges last time around.  I got overwhelmed by it all.  I kept doing mine, but not posting. I have posted a challenge summary now in my last thread (here) if you are interested.

 

My goals for this challenge are going to be about taking care of myself.

 

1. Track everything on MFP.  Even if I decided to have that muffin.  Having a muffin won't derail all my progress, but slacking at tracking very well could.

2. Stay active. Shoot for my 10k steps daily.  Hit the gym 2x a week.  Etc.

3. Get good sleep.  Shoot for 6+ hours a night.

4. Personal hygiene is the first thing to go when I'm depressed.  I'm going to set the bar low and hopefully exceed it.  Brush teeth daily.  Shower 3x a week.  Wash face daily.

 

Tracking spreadsheet here

[WritingWeaver]

 

[Sylvaa]

You know that I will be here to check on you and cheer you on as you fight off the depression-monster. If you need anything, I'm only a PM away!

[Leigh]

Depression is a little bitch and we all have to deal with her once in a while, some more than others sadly.

 

I highly recommend daily doses of pure hilarity to help kick the little shit back where she belongs (the curb next to the really smelly trash can the people next door should have put out weeks ago)

 

I'll slap this one in because I think it's great

 

 

 

Best of luck, I'll be lurking as usual

[MichiruSedai]

OMG TELL ME THAT IS A SERIES!  I NEVER KNEW I NEEDED THIS IN MY LIFE!  I love the anime Sword Art Online and that parody has me in stiches!  Thanks, Leigh!  <3

 

Thank you as always, Sylvaa!  Similarly, I am a PM away if you need to vent, I saw from your thread you are having a rough time too.  <3

 

Hi, WritingWeaver, nice to see you again!  <3

[MichiruSedai]

OH GOD IT IS A SERIES!  

 

Tempted to watch them all right now... but I think I'll bookmark and use them when I get really down.  ^^

 

 

So far two days in, I'm rocking my challenge, so go me.   *fistbumps self. its awkward, and a little sad, lol*

[Sylvaa]

 

Any better?

[stealthstitcher]

Stopping by to say hey! Going to try to stick around for the whole challenge this time around, too. Yay, sticking around!

Also - oh gosh, that SAO parody. Just ... just ... yes. 

[MichiruSedai]

Haha, thanks Sylvaa!

 

Hiya, stealthsticher!  Good luck!!

 

Doing well with all my goals so far this week. I really enjoy the whole excel spreadsheet thing, so I've been updating that as I go, but I will try to do better about checking in here this challenge.

[Leigh]

Oh man yeah, I'm not using excel but having laid out tracking makes this sooooo much easier!

Sent from my LG-K210 using Tapatalk

[MichiruSedai]

Right??  I have my calendar white board which I track my daily weight, daily steps, and I note other activity (gym, hike, bike).    My excel sheet tracks all my NF Challenge goals.   It is so helpful having everything right in front of my face.

[MichiruSedai]

September summary:  Lost 9.2lbs!  Tracked food 30/30 days! Hit steps goal 30/30 days!  Hit the gym 2x+ each week except the week it was closed.  Did pretty well overall despite the increase in my depression!  Bewteen my NF Challenge and my whiteboard tracking/email challenge with some family, I'm shooting for the same in October: 8 lbs lost, track daily, steps daily, gym 2x per week.

 

My challenge spreadsheet is updated, and it's going well, so I don't really have much to talk about!

[Leigh]

 

Congrats on a perfect month

[Sylvaa]

[stealthstitcher]

That's awesome!

[MichiruSedai]

aww, thanks everybody!  those posts were nice to come home to after a busy weekend out of town

[deftona]

Well done on September's results! Still powering through I see  

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks, Deffy! I'm trying!!

 

Today has been a bit of a challenge emotionally. Ironically, it's because of two conversations about how great I've done on weight loss.  One in particular, with a small group, one lady kept pushing for a number of pounds, and I couldn't figure out a way to demure after she kept pushing when I had just said "a lot".  I'm very proud of what I've done this years, but I'm also deeply embarrassed/ashamed that I had (have) that much weight to lose. I've lost almost 90 lbs and I'm still obese BMI.  I am guessing I have another 40-50 lbs to go.

 

All of these feelings today have me wanting to EAT! EAT ALL THE THINGS!!  I have budgeted in some popcorn, otherwise I had a healthy after work snack of string cheese and raisins.  I'm debating still having my planned dinner of burger on a whole wheat bun (380 calories) or changing to chicken (140 calories) to go with my veggie pile. I think even with the burger I'm at a good number for the day, but I'm irritated with the upwards fluctuation I have going the past couple days from weekend overindulgence.  However I know I didn't actually "gain" the 1.5lbs, because I didn't eat an extra 5000ish calories.  I was still under maintenance even with the drinks and snacks.   Stupid sodium!  But, hey. Yay for CICO, yay for understanding the data, etc.

 

I'm also looking for a couple MFP friends to help keep me accountable.

[WritingWeaver]

6 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

one lady kept pushing for a number of pounds

Rude, though I know exactly what that's like. My stepmom is like that too. "You lost a few pounds, Jen? How much do you weight now? How much do you need to lose?" Ugh, you don't need to know, just be happy for the other person. 

 

Look at you, killing this challenge!! Congrats!! 

[Sylvaa]

14 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

I'm also looking for a couple MFP friends to help keep me accountable.

 

I don't use mine, but I will totally be your friend on here if you want!

 

Also, ugh for the woman pushing you that way and making you uncomfortable! FWIW, I think you are looking at the weight loss from the wrong perspective. I mean, people yo-yo diet all the time. Maybe they are losing the same 20 - 40 pounds over and over, but if they do that 6 - 10 times, it's the same amount of weight (or more)! 

 

You are so much more than a person who has lost 90 pounds. You've gained confidence, your friends here, and self-worth. You've "lost" toxic relationships. Who cares if the actual weight loss number is 90 pounds or 5 pounds? This is amazing and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about!

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks, WritingWeaver and Sylvaa.  <3   Your kindness is greatly appreciated.

[MichiruSedai]

I am really struggling this week.  As in, stop working and go in the bathroom to cry struggling. I'm trying really, really hard to keep busy, and to stop those bad depressive trains of thought before they go to hard, but it was especially hard today.   I am pleased that I have avoided emotional eating but I want to so badly it's not even funny.

 

Instead, I'm gonna work out tonight while my son has his swimming lesson, eat my planned dinner of leftover fish and veggie from last night, and then have myself some air popped popcorn and a movie once he's in bed so I can unwind.  Air popped popcorn is kinda boring to eat but it fulfills my desire to just eat huge volumes while being so low calorie I can pretty much always fit it in my day's budget.

[stealthstitcher]

I'm sorry you had such a rough day. You are so awesome in so many ways! Seriously, the way you keep pushing forward is inspiring. So glad you're on here!

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks, stealthsticher.  Today was a bit better, and now I have a (hopefully) fun and relaxing weekend with my son. 

[MichiruSedai]

Trying to decide how high over my calorie range I'm going to go today... lol

 

I don't burn nearly as many calories on days off work as days on, though I did hit the gym today, and meet my step goal.   I tried a new recipe at dinner that was  super tasty but very calorific!

 

The recipe!  I skipped the last optional step of adding even more maple syrup which kept it from being even more calorietastic, lol. 

 

I also finally found and tried the new M&M flavor, coffee bean.  Super yummy!  But I only found the "sharing size" packs, and I didn't share.   Zero regrets, I don't buy  treats like that often, but it means I'm at max today for calories, and I am thinking about popcorn with my movie later. 

 

But, as I learned last challenge, going over my calorie goals once a week or so helps me mentally, because it reminds me that I can go over budget and not wake up having magically regained 88 lbs.   I track it all, I get my exercise, I move on!