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Bouncer_the_Lovable

Bouncer cont. to Walk Duckling Steps

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So I'm continuing what I've been doing since I re-spawned at the end of August. So far counting all my goals daily has been helping while keeping it slow enough. 

Image result for baby steps

(Can't find the one with a quote).

So continuing on with my goals... Kind of wish I could theme it, but all just going directly at it (the easiest way possible). 

 

Trying to avoid adding goals, but the main goal is getting ready for school in January and being hired with extra money in my pocket by then (with a job that I'm able to do and enjoy, instead of the latter). So that's what I'll figure out how to get that out for actual "SMART" goals setting. Since it is one of those "temp:" goals as when needed. 

 

Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 29 out of 64 Journals (longest streak)
  •  Reading (20 mins): 0 out of 35 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered:
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  13 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 12 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching (working less this month, so this will be nudged up a bit) (to be tracked when figured out)

 

Only two goals has been missed 1 day each so out of the last 21 days, I only missed 2 habits. Enough to keep a watchful eye (1 night staying on the computer too long, 2nd one was yesterday I missed a day of 20 mins of reading). 

 

But yeah! Marching on! With little duckling steps. 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 12 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

This is a fantastic title for a quest! Have a great challenge!

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16 hours ago, IAmInfinite said:

Image result for encouraging pictures

 

Those are some great goals! Little steps are the best steps, tbh. I hope you make those streaks!

Thank you very much! I hope so too!

 

11 hours ago, Rebel_Timelord said:

 

This is a fantastic title for a quest! Have a great challenge!

Thanks! I think it has been helping me to remember my main goal (many times I've nearly bought some pop after starting up, but soon as I remember I slowly back up and think "Be Gone you Seductive Poison" - kind of gives the RPG feel).

 

 

 

 

Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 0 out of  Journals
    • Longest Streak: 29 Days
  •  Reading (20 mins): 0 out of 34 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered:
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  14 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 13 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching (working less this month, so this will be nudged up a bit) (to be tracked when figured out)

 

Sadly yesterday I forgot to read and write up a journal before either hanging out with my brother and before into bed. I did read, just not the the 20 minute mark (and main reason I'm making a point, is because in January how much I will need to be reading daily will be more than 20 mins...). Journaling, I just forgot. I usually go on my computer after work, yesterday instead it was me going straight my brother's for his birthday (big 21) and not being home till midnight (just me an him eating Pizza of his choice with his first legal wine, and 21 numbered candles I bought for a cake). 

 

But yeah... so I have another new streak to beat!

 

Yesterday was okay for a quiet work day (found out 10 more hours of this job, bummer on the low hours but understanding that the visitor traffic will be dropping like crazy as it gets colder). And extra time to write up applications.

 

Woke up to cramps (it was so nice my body didn't wake me until after 6 am), usually I would take the day off. But I promised today that I would give helping hands to take down an exhibit (with a free lunch for pay), and with a google, moving around this morning will be the best option. "The Week of Woman Power" (start of me working on the habit of loving to be a woman). And my natural hormones kicked in once more, so I'm not as "out of it" as I was the past few days. So yeah avoiding caffeine, trying to feed myself before I have to be there in 45 mins, and be the best team member I can be.

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YOU CAN DO IT! It's can be so hard to function when you're cramping and feeling terrible, but power through and earn your lunch! <33 I love that the theme is woman power, too. Excellent timing. XD

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Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 1 out of 33  Journals
    • Longest Streak: 29 Days
  •  Reading (20 mins): 1 out of 34 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered: (at least 5 pgs from work binder, funny how stuff I struggled reading 4 months ago are easy enough to quickly get through)
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  14 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 13 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching:
    • First Week: With my Career coach I'm working on a REALLY long application for Para Professionals jobs for elementary schools (I could see myself at least attempting such jobs, and worth applying for). While also organizing Job info folder to make it easier for future applications.

 

So yup, today wasn't bad. My main misery was from my unresolved hunger... Literally all the carbs could be eaten, I had a daydream about the disgusting fudge stuff from DQ that usually makes me ill when thinking about, but now drooling over... Besides the donuts I had for breakfast (from volunteering), I kept to my guns and reminded myself I had more than enough food to be made. Lots of mashed potatoes where eaten today, and finally made extra eggy french toast for a late supper. Else today it was me just chilling... Trying to get out of my head.

 

I'm realizing this is the first time I'm in a professional setting with co-workers and customers. Seems dumb, but the only other job that I've worked a month less than my current jobs and volunteering was Camp Counseling (and I still dealing with the flash backs...). So as I felt I put my foot in my mouth one too many times (saying things that ended up not being appreciated, or was clarified I was wrong about my assumption). Pretty much been telling myself all day, that there is no way to fix it but take note and move on. I'm liked enough, but just having these wake up calls on "whats professional" just stirs up stuff. And doesn't help, that when I don't feel well my mind thinks the worse.

And with the deep breaths, it kind of gets to me on I am working on finding the next level of jobs. Going to apply for Para jobs (assistant to especially help students that are struggling). Just an idea, no idea if it will work out or at least get my information setup for future ease, by how thorough this application is.

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You're still doing amazing! Congratulations on still pushing forward, and all the luck for your job application! 

Hunger is always an issue - would doing something with more moderation make it easier for you to complete your goals, or do you feel you have to go cold turkey?

Also, with the professional thing, all you can do is try not to repeat the mistake and move on. I felt like I messed up a lot when I was working as a waitress, but people are more forgetful than you think, and all you can do is continue to move on! 

All the strength and power to you! <3

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1 hour ago, IAmInfinite said:

You're still doing amazing! Congratulations on still pushing forward, and all the luck for your job application! 

Thank you, "writing why I think I'm qualified" has been intimidating, but this afternoon I working on writing like I know what the HELL I'm doing. Then edit out the "demanding/meany" parts and I think that will do it (while copying and pasting for future jobs).

 

1 hour ago, IAmInfinite said:

Hunger is always an issue - would doing something with more moderation make it easier for you to complete your goals, or do you feel you have to go cold turkey?

Taking out just pop, and moderating eating by how I feel (not always the best way) with the restriction on how much money I have for food (quite a little, and I know healthy food just making it) In a way cold turkey, but it'll get better soon as I get back to washing my dishes to cook the food I can eat all I want.

 

1 hour ago, IAmInfinite said:

All the strength and power to you! <3

and thank you!

 

 

 

After a busy morning, after a happily dreamed filled night. While also finding how nice it really is to wake up about the same time daily (2 hours difference tops since I started in my respawn) where I was able to wake up and set my alarm 2 hours before wake up time. While up early this morning to be the driver for family, and then rewarded by the universe with a full lunch (very healthy no less, besides the sugary treats I narrowed down for myself).

 

Today attempting to work on finishing the writing part for the job application, finally talked myself down that how much energy I put toward this thing is a little too overdone (because in reality they will either be interested or not, before they get to this page). Changing the mentality from "omg I'm going to die if I don't get this job" to "let's try to keep a steady flow of applications out for the darn practice on getting out their as job searching". I've learned my lesson that I cannot predict where I will be hired at, but continuing praying it will be a great fit to learn from.

 

 

 

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On 9/25/2016 at 2:52 PM, Bouncer the Resilient said:

 

Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 29 out of 64 Journals (longest streak)
  •  Reading (20 mins): 0 out of 35 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered:
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  13 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 12 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

 

Title for this thread should have been, "Bouncer goes Streaking".  Way more views :P  Good luck.

 

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Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 3 out of 33  Journals
    • Longest Streak: 29 Days
  •  Reading (20 mins): 1 out of 33 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered: (a few pages of Mein Kampf, harder to keep attention span today but found it funny with his stories of rebeling against a political party he was working for to get a daily meal in).
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  16 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 15 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching:
    • First Week: With my Career coach I'm working on a REALLY long application for Para Professionals jobs for elementary schools (I could see myself at least attempting such jobs, and worth applying for). While also organizing Job info folder to make it easier for future applications.

After volunteering today, and a whole day without caffeine (didn't want to bother putting money toward caffeine and lack of dishes washed made it difficult for a cup of tea) allowed to finally give me the blissful crash a hour after I got home. A solid 90 minute nap, where then I was able to start working on dishes (mix of needing to the clean the smell and clean my pitcher finally to make kool-aid). While working on dishes I ate comfort food of 2 packs of ramen and hydrating with kool-aid (the perfect amount of dies to one day turn me orange) and later on I did a quick bake of chopped up apples to give me the needed fiber (and balance out the sodium, because sadly my mashed potatoes expired). Else a good productive evening, tomorrow caffeine will be a must for finishing up my application and continue working on my apartment:

1342735549209_2735191.png

(Stole from @Koaladle's page... pretty much my goal is to one day have a clean home with little effort).

 

 

Had an awesome realization this evening though. When looking up when I made up mashed potatoes (the perk of journaling daily to know what I cooked what), I found that just a week ago I was having to get up in the middle of the night every day to help go back to sleep (getting the calories back from quiting pop). So now even though I feel like I'm eating the world, I'm not waking up in the middle of the night for food! To me it feels like a small win that was needed.

 

Now off to bed... even though I'm grinding my teeth and having a bit of stress dreams. Being able to just enjoy the crash is just bliss to me (better than caffiene highs in a way).

 

 

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15 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Had an awesome realization this evening though. When looking up when I made up mashed potatoes (the perk of journaling daily to know what I cooked what), I found that just a week ago I was having to get up in the middle of the night every day to help go back to sleep (getting the calories back from quiting pop). So now even though I feel like I'm eating the world, I'm not waking up in the middle of the night for food! To me it feels like a small win that was needed.

 

Now off to bed... even though I'm grinding my teeth and having a bit of stress dreams. Being able to just enjoy the crash is just bliss to me (better than caffiene highs in a way).

That's amazing! Congrats on small wins! 

Image result for congrats gif

 

Have a good night <3 I hope the stress dreams dont plague you

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8 hours ago, stealthstitcher said:

Yay for small wins!

You're BACK!!!!

Image result for your back meme

 

 

13 minutes ago, IAmInfinite said:

That's amazing! Congrats on small wins! 

Image result for congrats gif

 

Have a good night <3 I hope the stress dreams dont plague you

 

And thank you both!

 

I did sleep well, made pancakes for breakfast (meaning I cleaned my kitchen enough to have room and dishes to use xD). Application in (though I found out the 1 out of 2 jobs was already filled....). I found I need to remind myself what types of jobs I would like, such as only part time (because I will not have enough of me to do school and a 40 hour job).

Rewarded myself with "Vampire Academy" (a series I realize I will need to read for the free "lovely dovey/vampirism/forbidden love" cocktail).

 

I feel like I need to write down goals, since my weekend technically started already.... I feel the "loneliness" creeping up. But looking around my apartment that needs some basic TLC. And even who I do have an offer from someone (guy I traded numbers with earlier this month), all I could think is "work and no fun" (just gets to me the wrong way). 

Image result for washing the dishes meme

So end result, I have to give my apartment TLC (find the "home" in this place) and find something fun to do. And on top of it, try applying for at least another job (I think applications will be getting easier after that 13 part application...).

 

So for something fun: I'll either make a day to walk on trails at a state park (I want to walk at least a good long trail at the park I work at - or find another trail I've been interested in). Or the other choice is to go check out a tea house, there is one that is close but going to "cities" could still be fun enough (especially since I have a historical site's membership I could check out a few of those places). So yeah, either toward or away from the people. One small baby shower on top of it.

 

So instead of feeling sorry for myself, go try out the stuff I do like before I get too busy again!

Image result for walking on a trail fall  meme

So on to my present goals: doing the basics in my kitchen as I listen to The Historian (10 discs just finished the 3rd, been recommended it quite a bit, good for Halloween season), make pancakes for supper ($5 in my pocket makes pancakes look really good when you can make them with milk and eggs), ask my mom's bf if he has unused walking stick (just have a feeling he would so I don't have to put $10 down for one on Sunday).

 

Anything is out of the desire of free will, hope to clean enough though that I get through listening the book this weekend (7 hours worth of audio yet, and extra driving though might take a bit of its time).

Image result for keeping busy during the weekend meme

 

 

 

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Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 4 out of 33  Journals
    • Longest Streak: 29 Days
  •  Reading (20 mins): 2 out of 33 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered: (a few pages of Mein Kampf, lots of emotions in the last few pages, going to take awhile
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  17 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 16 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching:
    • First Week: With my Career coach I'm working on a REALLY long application for Para Professionals jobs for elementary schools (I could see myself at least attempting such jobs, and worth applying for). While also organizing Job info folder to make it easier for future applications. Find another application.

Evening ended with me watching Sweeney Todd (that ending... didn't expect it) and Bob's Burgers (a good laugh). Pancakes for supper (while finishing off my ramen...). Work on getting veggies and fruit in tomorrow xD

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21 hours ago, Bouncer the Resilient said:

 

  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 16 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

Yeah, do it! It's actually really liberating to not be controlled by the sugar-and-acid-liquid. 

Do you know, I have heard the Sweeney Todd soundtrack forty billion times because students listen to it all the time, but I've never seen it? How'd you like it? I think I would want something funny afterward, too.

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23 minutes ago, stealthstitcher said:

Yeah, do it! It's actually really liberating to not be controlled by the sugar-and-acid-liquid. 

Do you know, I have heard the Sweeney Todd soundtrack forty billion times because students listen to it all the time, but I've never seen it? How'd you like it? I think I would want something funny afterward, too.

Yeah this time around is a tad better, haven't had a dream about enjoying coke (last week was hard, but La Croix helped me there...). There's times I forget, but it has me avoiding my usual cheap sweets because they just don't taste the same.

 

I've personally never heard any Sweeney Todd music before I watched it (except the one song about the pies on Jersey Girl). So I was just at aw by all the music put together and all the actors I knew of made me giggle... I guess the one thing I give a thumbs up to, is when there is blood there is a grand warning (or less pronounced compared to other things I've been watching). I would say try it out one evening, just to see the full story. I never thought Les Miserables would be seen a little more cheerful though when comparing the story endings...

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Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 5 out of 33  Journals
    • Longest Streak: 29 Days
  •  Reading (20 mins): 3 out of 33 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered: (a couple pages of Work Binder, I feel stupid for how happy I'll be getting rid of this binder before another month. I don't think its the job, just the factor of frustration of all I learned that equates to this book...)
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  18 out of 48 (longest streak)
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 17 out of 47 (longest streak) (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF)

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching:
    • First Week: With my Career coach I'm working on a REALLY long application for Para Professionals jobs for elementary schools (I could see myself at least attempting such jobs, and worth applying for). While also organizing Job info folder to make it easier for future applications. Find another application.

Okay so tomorrow I have to do my receipts (or tonight, whenever I do them). I did find an application I think I'm wanting to try out, it would be a night job at a grocery store (but there's perks working at night thought... Such as for a night owl).

 

I allowed myself to sleep till 9:30 this morning, no reason other than last night before I went to bed I thought "damn I just need to sleep for a bit longer than usual." 9:30 was my mental compromise at midnight. Find it funny on how rigid I'm on my morning wake up time, and can't stand my turn off time (unless I'm tripping over myself). I had a very nice dream, it involved a lot of different weird things. But there was a point where I was doing an obstacle 5k, that involved a lot of inflatables where I found myself leaping across areas, having to watch how far I jump up (instead of feeling the grinding and pressure, a sign of the stress being gone?)

 

Today I kind of felt like I wasted the day, playing the show "Reba" as I half assed most of my day. But did realize for prep cooking, just pancakes alone takes a solid hour (without the washing afterwards).

Image result for pancakes meme

One day I'll get to this point, or find an easier breakfast/cheap food.

 

And did want to go on a walk, but anxiety of it being a Friday and a bright sunny day (cars taking over the roads, and lack of sunglasses). So walking tonight, anxiety up because people will be around. However, the nice 50 something degree F temp makes it better for wearing sweat shirts. Just know I won't do well for sleeping and tomorrow morning, if I don't get some of the happy hormones and stretching out my muscles (haven't really left the house except for something I'm sitting on my butt for a couple hours).

  Image result for exercise is good at night meme

 

I figured out for October I just want to add goals, not as streaks. But to see how many times I do them.

Physical: Walking daily and doing Yoga

Nutrition: Trying to live off my assistance funds... $194 a month. For my main foods, and try to make my side "food" smaller. Get in mind of seeing food as to live, and find the easiest best mix and low waste. (Along with using my extra money toward things I need, and want... When I learn how to do this, it will make money stress so much easier).

Writing: One site I'm following as a 31 day challenge (just daily lessons) to help get ready for NaNoWriMo.

 

Just keeping a tally, so when I have bad days "oh well". While having a good days, I feel like it will help in the future cause.

If you have any tips on how to keep track all what you buy and put into food form... Or whatever, that would be helpful... Keeping track of food between servings/meals/cost, will be interesting starting midnight.

 

And tomorrow will be me getting ready for the day, then getting ready to figure out where my high school friend's baby shower is. To tell you the truth I think this is my first actual baby shower (at least since I was 10), no less from someone I grew up with.. Weird.... Its scheduled for only a few hours, so I have no idea what its going to be like and if I will be seeing if trails are nearby (just since I will be in the area).

 

  Image result for walking on a trail meme

 

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On 9/29/2016 at 0:29 AM, Bouncer the Resilient said:

Main Goals:

  •  
  •  Reading (20 mins): 1 out of 33 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered: (a few pages of Mein Kampf, harder to keep attention span today but found it funny with his stories of rebeling against a political party he was working for to get a daily meal in).@Koaladle's page... pretty much my goal is to one day have a clean home with little effort).

 

Yeah, don't check my 25-page report on it if you don't want spoilers.  Trust me, reading it and attention span waxes and wanes depending on the chapter.

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3 minutes ago, Teros said:

Yeah, don't check my 25-page report on it if you don't want spoilers.  Trust me, reading it and attention span waxes and wanes depending on the chapter.

Yup checked it out, gave a like and a mental reminder to read it after I get through the boss of books. Going to finish reading one of my easier books this weekend, to get something off of my "reading now list".

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Main Goals:

  • Journaling: 6 out of 33  Journals  :flustered:
    • Longest Streak: 29 Days
  •  Reading (20 mins): 4 out of 33 Days (20 mins daily) :flustered: (Mein Kampf: 2 pages, would have read more but brain strayed to thinking of today while just reading Hitler's thoughts on Social Democrats, and learning politics)
    • Longest streak: 20 days (gradually going up from 10 mins a day - 20 mins a day)
  • Screens off at Midnight:  0 out of 28 (longest streak)
    • Longest Streak: 18 days...
  • Poison Be Gone (Days w/o Pop): 0 out of 28 (trying to beat my 3 month streak that I did back in 2014 before NF) :flustered:
    • Longest Streak: 17 days!

 

Weekly Goals:

  • 1 hour weekly (Scheduled for Tuesdays or Thursdays) enter/confirm money transactions: 1 out of  6 weeks
  • Taking Note What I'm doing Toward 2nd job searching:
    • First Week: With my Career coach I'm working on a REALLY long application for Para Professionals jobs for elementary schools (I could see myself at least attempting such jobs, and worth applying for). While also organizing Job info folder to make it easier for future applications. Find another application. Apply to grocery shop application. Look up jobs that a friend seemed to want to inform me as he was talking with no sleep.

October Tallying (not streaking, just keeping to see habits and make future goal making):

  • Free Happy Drugs (Have a walk in the great outdoors): 0 out of 31
  • Yoga Routine: 0 out of 31
  • Keeping track of Food costs/servings of food:  0 out of 31
  • Ninja Writing Challenge: 1 out of 31 (writing 10 mins daily is the staring "challenge")

The Song Stuck in My head Today:

 

 

Whelp its after midnight... How? A sign of hyper focusing by accident as I was finishing writing the post. Than I realized it was too wordy.. (could of shared, just knew I personally wouldn't have read the whole thing without at least some pics).

Okay so mainly, I got home 3 hours ago. However, distracted heavily since I did get home. I did walk last night (ended up being when homecoming dance in the dance was finishing up... awkward as I passed by the high school).

 

The baby shower, turned into a full blown outing. Hung out with the "to-be-parents" and the rest of our friends. We hit a Mexican Fast food (more Texas like than Midwest). So they had a ton of options for bottled pop, and did have water. But nothing up for "caffeine without pop".  So I just sighed and enjoyed my glass bottled Coke (best option really to break the streak). And on top of it I broke the past midnight streak by accident... Whoops.

 

With my friends, a few weeks ago I came to the thought of "friends that are just distant, but enjoy each other's company". Soon as friends showed up to the shower, they told me of after Shower plans (one person would want to just hang out with someone). And how much they where able to work with me on helping me get around the great Metro of MN (I lack a GPS...), I mean really. When they literally had a whole "we got this plan to help me out no matter what" situation, I just was in awe. FRIENDS! Yes two out of the three are going to be busy with baby in just under 2 months, but the third more than open to crazy outings for when I get a bit of loniliness.

 

 

This still ended up a bit long, oh well. Lot's of just thinking. As I'm tired, but "good feels". Happy brain, now to just enjoy how today was as I cancel my "trip" tomorrow. And stick around at home for cleaning apartment and applications, and rest. Going to allow myself to sleep in till 9:30 (any later I get weird... and telling myself the only time I'm changing it is if I stay up late one night because I'm out or working nights...). It will be interesting what the future beholds. I really feel like something happy will pop up (I had this similar feeling before I got hired at my current job, just wish I could manage hanging out with my friends more but another day).
 

 

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Simplifying because I'm just done for the day and don't want to make things worst for myself... I had a lot of dish washing done, along with an application done. Did a little prep with pancakes, and cleaned up everything after the pancakes. Kitchen nowhere close to clean, while googling tips for living off of SNAP/SNAP challenge. This week is my week zero for meal planning since I ran out of my assistant money last week, and won't receive until Friday. Other words cleaned out kitchen by the end of the week I hope.

 

In some way I think "I didn't do enough," but looking at what I normally do on a Sunday my kitchen looks pretty good. Most of the breaks where just for feeding myself, or just resting. Facebook has been my "enemy" for distractions, but I would get myself just as easily...

 

I did my ninja writing, just was a goal of reading 10 mins a day (which by chance I am already working on xD). And got my writing done, first five minutes painful that five minutes fun.

 

Tomorrow morning will be put toward recounting where I put my money this last weekend, and writing down all what I ate. Yes I could do that today... but. Yeah not going to happen. Hope to figure out a way to write things down this week to get an idea of how much I need to eat, and things I do crave for stables when I'm low on money.

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Food boredom.. Food despising... Can actually eat too much of one food... Pancakes and eggs are the easiest meal for me to get... However pancakes are giving me no energy (not the main cause probably, but no helping either). And I tried cooking an egg and eating it... literally put two bites in before gagging (it could just be mind over matter, but it kind of gets to you).

 

I turned in 2 cover letters/resumes in today (I think the universe heard my pain about application, so they instead threw me the bloody cover letter curve ball). All done.

 

Pretty much feel like my mind can't do more than one thing today, which is just has me whimpering (all jobs are looking for multi-taskers) because I have no idea why... Except for the cause could be lack of exercise (damn it). So tonight I shall walk, last night I should've but I didn't (was so tired that I couldn't do anything, but wait to fall asleep - which took forever).

 

So tonight rice-o-roni with a piece of wish, and steamed freezer veggies (well balanced). Going to allow myself one more cup of milk (eggs ick, milk bliss), haven't drank it like crazy but its a questionable of how much is actually good for me and how much is it sugar/fat calories (which could be needed).. Which I think I would have gotten from pancakes (weird...). 

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