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End of Sunday I ended up marathoning SNL on youtube. Just needed a good laugh. Can't even respond how much food I ate tonight, realized I have little patience to feed myself during the day. By evening I am starving, and craving sugar. Didn't give into sugar though, even though I wanted a Pepsi all evening, I didn't! (Duct tape with dates written does work for me I guess).


Googled my goal coffee pot, I was looking at another that has a "iced coffee brewer" in it. However, gets to messy way too quickly. This coffee pot has a review on being good for budget friendly coffee (dunkin donuts pre-ground). I tend to like better made cheaper coffee, so yeah have my first "goal loot". Something I see as plausable for future help, I do have a sodastream also.. So I could technically being doing something with that too...


Give me luck for tomorrow. Main goal right now. Make sure all the food I have taken out is put away, go to bed with reasonable sleep. Wake up early enough tomorrow so I can do a whole routine and still have a time to think (2 hours of warm up time lately). Then get out the door looking professional with a shirt I have had compliments with in the past 4 years (a little worn out), but have been hired on the spot with it on (which I figured out my "interview" shirt has never had a positive response, makes me rethink things...).Other words give me luck! Really would like the universe to be like "this is the job while you're in school darling, you'll enjoy it and get pretty good loot for hard work".


 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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Just kept praying, they did offer me the job after having "3 part interview" in 30 mins. But the background check...

Should be all good (tried looking up pics.. but didn't end well).


So yeah! My job searching is close to done! Boo-yah!


Now back to my goals that I abandoned last week (I pretty much hit the 6 week mark and needed just a little break).


But with the job... I have to go back to a better sleep schedule. But instead of 8 waking up time I'm looking at 7 am at the latest... I found the one morning job xD Ah the life...

So yup, going to work on changing up the goal for. "Turning screens off at 10 pm and getting up at 7 am".



And the second part is nutrition:

Just going to be tracking food. Make that part of my posting. For the next two weeks. Just here, give me a better idea on a larger view while I try to stick with my meal plans. Total NF style. I have the notebook ready to go, just need to right everything down for today yet.

My huge why: Because I want to be able to fin in a size 18 (perk would be to fit into my size 18 jeans that can't stay up because of my spare tire).

Along with helping make food a smaller fraction of my overall budget...


My reading goal is mainly me finishing Vampire Academy by the end of October, so less stress as NaNo is on the rise.

Everything else goals will still be posted for daily/weekly quests. My goal is to make my apartment into a home (pretty much my goal to get to before school starts- somehow).



So for this evening/afternoon, feed myself. Write down what I ate today on here directly or notebook and then here. See if I need to sleep. And do some cleaning (if I get to that point). Or go on a walk. I haven't been moving my body much since my last 20 minute walk. I miss having a pedometer for "moving" motivation, but remembering/losing the darn thing didn't help.




 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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I turned off the screens at 10 pm last night and somehow got up at 7 am and stayed up. Partly what helped was I had a dream of dealing with lice that looked like gnats... And somehow I accidentally smother a moth (all in a dream) waking up to find the moth was my hair. "dream guides", pretty much said it sounded like something was pestering me or things are coming to shine. 

By how I actually cleaned parts of my bathroom, I think I know what was irritating me... I crashed by 3, but mainly got my eyes open that hiding most of my plates, bowls, cups and silverware (as I slowly clean them from my tub of dirty dishes) has been a major relief. I'm more likely to reuse dishes in one meal (probably helps conserve water a bit), and finally see the happiness in not eating all the chicken at once! Less pots to clean and the pots do get clean rather quickly.


After the productive day, I ended up not writing any of my nutrition yet... Ugh. But will do tonight. Because this is the only other main goal that helps me avoid other things to worry about (paper work/questions to ask for school stuff...)


I also want to work on making a binder! Nutrition is 90%  and I think making my own version of a "budget cookbook" (my favorite type of cookbooks since I left school),  can help make future meal planning easier by sorting out all the recipes I find (and report if they worked or not). And making a section for the foods I did by and price, so I can compare prices when I'm shopping (since writing it down did help me with my second shopping trip this week). Along with "looking for that random sale" (especially vegetables) having a way to figure out if I can use it from experience or if it is "actually cheaper", would help take the stress off as I learn. I think it would help since my strength is visual learning, and storytelling.


Also, probably said this before. But I'm really, really working on making sure I am eating on my "meal plan". Knowing starving/diet on just pancakes is not fun. I'm finding though for lunch I need a vegetable/fruit that is more of a snack. Found having a pop with my sandwich makes it more special, however the pop "drop" has been really hard to deal with afterwards. Along with needing more snack food and at least a few servings of dessert.


Tonight I'm trying out "rice pudding" (from the cookbook: "Good and Cheap" - there's free version on the interwebs) on the stove top while watching "Worst Chef". I like the idea of the show, but hate how "the people have to be on the chef's learning curve". Makes me thankful I can cook one thing at a time at my own pace. 1 hour left to go. Will post what I ate today sometime tomorrow.




 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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Oh depression? How are you today? Oh your reminding me on how the holidays are coming up? It's not even Halloween, or how the littlest things can trigger worst of feelings all the way back when I was 4. Truth most of the time when I stop and question my feeling, and "how most people would just rollover and continue". I've been able to take a deep breath and go, "oh the road of recovery sucks but I've dealt with worse". Seeing my username has been helping, just a little reminder in this world.


Overeating has be an equivalent of eating 3-5 servings of something sugary I made at home along with milk, and a few Pepsi's here and there. Compared to a month ago I would over eat anything, and by more sweets. I say I'm doing pretty good of totally not eating my feelings.


And found out I don't like pickles with faces:



I had like four of them in a jar, just felt wrong(pickles shouldn't stare at you...) Almost thinking of getting rid of the jar.. Though the holes are just from hydration issue when the cucumber was growing (just freaky).


Today has been a day where its hard to move. Yesterday I was able to get help from my volunteer/job site to have more paid hours yesterday and Sunday. A place I enjoy (minus the snakes and mice trying to camp out in the darn building)


As I said before feeling down, went on a walk yesterday late at night helped a bit of going to bed before midnight. But, I haven't been getting much sun so that's not helping the depression. By now I would have gone on the trail if it wasn't for lack of sources... Though skills worker is taking me out tomorrow to get some green, I just find it so stupid I don't trust my small town of under 5,000 people that is safe, but its not the most pedestrian friendly (in the understanding of rural MN stance, else everyone is pretty good even though I walk like I'm blind because of the sun or noise around me...)




 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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How is the batch cooking coming?


I'm trying a week where I eat pancakes for the breakfast, and I wondering how you did it? Did you store the batter in the fridge and cook it as you went along or cook it all in one go and freeze those? I'm worried the pancakes might go off if I store them for too long.

they / them  |  half-orc paladin ( oath of the watcher )   --   lv 0

Challenge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Battle Log ~ Epic Quest

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5 hours ago, Akari said:

@IAmInfinite How you make Pancakes? I just use 1 egg, 1 cup milk and 1 cup flour and sugar. It's easy done in a few min.

Making the pancakes is fine. It's how much to store over how long that I'm struggling with.

they / them  |  half-orc paladin ( oath of the watcher )   --   lv 0

Challenge 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20Battle Log ~ Epic Quest

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9 hours ago, IAmInfinite said:

I'm trying a week where I eat pancakes for the breakfast, and I wondering how you did it? Did you store the batter in the fridge and cook it as you went along or cook it all in one go and freeze those? I'm worried the pancakes might go off if I store them for too long.

THis is very wise! I googled how long a pancake lasts in a fridge, and whelp found out only for a day... 0.0 So yeah pancakes don't last long. Unless in the freezer. I give you thumbs up for trying it out. Mainly I was eating a batch or two a day (main food), because when I did try or snacks or breakfast it was my main meals outside of sitting down with whatever I could grab.


Personally right now it's painful to even make pancakes, I made some for my mom last minute the other week as "reimbursement" but it was painfully slow. Pretty much when I make pancakes I'm in such dire need of eating something to fill me up that can be sugary. This is the recipe in case you guys where curious: Easy Pancake Recipe

As I've said I add at least twice more (more like a quarter cup per batch). I switch around the fats via what I have (olive oil, unsalted butter, coconut oil) and milk or water per what I have/can afford at the time.


Will answer prep in next post because it takes forever.

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 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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That moment when you read how in the beginning of this challenge Pancakes was the easiest thing to cook... I'm just weird. Ugh. If I ever say I can't eat chicken, I must be cooking the stuff wrong or very ill... Because seriously, I have a lot of people tell me "you know yourself so well". And all I can think is: "yes, but... I know I'm unpredictable to myself."


Thanks @IAmInfinite, for reminding me of my wonderful journey of prep cooking.


Overall what I'm seeing with my prep cooking is getting enough calories still. I don't know how really tame my "sweet tooth" except trying to make better quality/high fiber desserts with fruit for sweetness (which is the problems with balancing it out with cost, time to make, and if it turns out right). My mom has opened her coffee pot to me so this will help with caffeine need, just the sweetness factor I'm looking for.

I need to be looking for squash or apple based desserts mainly that are simple enough to make and put away. I was able to destroy my kitchen in two days via the rice pudding mishap and making pumpkin bars that needed more tools than I anticipated.


Yogurt breakfast has been the best option with granola and apples. I'm finding though it's still hard to make sure to get breakfast somedays because I can't think straight or stressed out in the morning. However, when I do make it and put it away it tastes almost like pudding. So this is the other main meal I know I need to prep when I know I will be busy by noon and will need to eat (otherwords for everyday).

Meat I've controlled along with how many buns I eat a day. Just running into how i don't want to make potatoes or veggies though... So mainly my diet has been mainly dessert with meat and dairy. Fruits and then veggies. Not the best to have veggies at the bottom.


Mainly thinking of trying to get veggies out of sweet cooked squash (perfect time of year) and soups. Pickles I've been mainly eating for my veggie (frozen veggies when I'm starving but don't want to cook/eat all my food in the fridge). The goal now is to find ways to get my veggies that I will miss when its gone...



Also I just given up on writing my daily foods, I may make a 'buddy system" goal next challenge. But I think that will be the only way I will want to do it.


 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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Goals for the day, as I did get some sunshine and nature this morning (a nice frosting morning). I need to get working on preparing tomorrow. From washing my jeans, to make sure I have food made up so I'm on the go.

While also getting my car back to driving and calling back my job!


 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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As I head out to my last of my blue shirt job, I found this article: How Latent Emotions Tangle Up Your Time Management — and a Way Forward.

Haven't read it fully, but pretty much realized my daily goal is pretty much trying to figure out how to attack the day while dealing with my emotions.


Huh, the universe seemed to show me which direction to go with.


Goal for the day: reread my posts of this challenge. Confirm what my thoughts for the next up challenge should be, as I get planning up for a month of getting used to a brand new job.


Just realized the challenges ended up matching my career stuff: Finished on job on the last challenge, week zero involves two days of work (one being first weekend at other "job" and orientation on Tuesday).


 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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Just wanted to note my small wins for the day. Working on making better health choices, lovely PMS ended up triggering upset stomach while at work (mixed of bloating, sleepiness and minor stresses of work). Crashed into bed when I got home, woke up starving for the huge craving of pizza. Realized it has been awhile since I bought "out of meal plan" dish (outside of pop and sweets of course).


Picked up a frozen pizza, but instead of the "regular" size of my favorite Supreme cheese filled crust. I found a microwaveable version! Fraction of cooking time, no dishes and able to eat the entire thing without feeling like I'm missing something. Gave in and bought a sprite (but no the 2 liter that I had wanted). Just found it to be a funny win!



Okay as I said I'll be working on reading my past posts to give me better background of how far I have come along...  Goal this week keep working at turning off the screens at a descent time and waking up early enough. Continue with my meal planning somehow, along with binder setup. Then also work on getting outside more during the day, no excuses because I finally found a park I can chill at in my town that gets my car enough of a drive without gas worries (sadly not a safe place to walk to).


While enjoying the week of starting new jobs, and adulting by balancing out my schedule.


 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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And already moving onto the next post.... Figured I do it when I'm able to Next Challenge!


Thank you all for tooting along! I'm hoping to have a little structure (stick to goals) since I did beat my career goals! So amazed how that turned out! Along with Prep cooking benefits (even though my kitchen is still a disaster, skipping meals or at least more aware of what I need to work on). Kind of feel like an adult, and things are moving around.


Really relieved that the "job" thing panned out, just have to finish up school paperwork (will be scheduling in mid challenge).

Didn't have any grinding my teeth nightmares last night, so that has helped my worry of depression lighten. So a bit of confidence to start things up again!



 Personfied/Comissioned Druid Avatar by EzratheButt

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