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Taking OWNERSHIP of Failure

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So I want to say that I let life get the best of me and ruin my chances at success, but the honest answer is I used life as an excuse to ALLOW myself to fail.


Went clothes shopping yesterday and it was pure hell. Not only do I have that awful struggle of petit pants being JUST too high for me, if I buy regular size I'm going to have to get each pair hemmed. So there's an extra $10 to spend on that. But hey, I can't fix being awkwardly short. What I CAN fix, is trying hard enough to lose weight and gain muscle so I can fit into a smaller size and thus smaller length (generally). Same applies for shirts, I can't find anything that fits my body size because I allowed myself to build back up to where I started.


SO I'M ON A MISSION TO LEARN DISCIPLINE. I always fail because I allow myself to fail, motivation falls and I let that be my excuse. It's rainy out, I don't want to eat healthy. I don't feel good, I want comfort food (even though I'm aware healthy eating would get rid of the constant malaise.) You all know the excuses. But if I can learn discipline, I can keep going this time?


It's so hard to get started when you feel like garbage. It makes you want to just give up and lose hope. But it was pointed out to me just how much weight I've gained since I started dating my girlfriend, and I want to go back to looking good next to her. So I have to figure this out.

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Discipline gets you started, but forming habits is what will keep you going.  Remember willpower is like muscle power: while it strengthens with practice, you only get so much per day, and when it's burned out, you will be weakened until it regenerates.  This is why you need to find workouts and veggies that you like, or at least don't hate: if you try to stick with stuff you hate, your willpower will run out before you've finished forming the habit.  (Hate the rain?  So work out in the living room.  There is a special pleasure in going outside, getting drenched and freezing, and then coming inside to a nice hot shower ... but if you're not one of those people who appreciates such things, then just do something else.)


Eating comfort foods and blowing off workouts isn't "failure."  That's just you choosing to eat mac and cheese, or choosing to sit still.  You're allowed to choose that.  It just won't get you the body you want, if you choose to do those things all the time.  Choosing to eat more broccoli (mmm broccoli) and enjoy more movement (whee!) is going to get you closer to the body you want.


I don't think you need to swear off comfort food altogether, unless you're the kind of person who does better with hard and fast rules.  All you have to do is limit the richer comfort foods to special occasions (PMS day, Thanksgiving) and small portions (ONE scoop of stuffing, kthx), with a generous portion of veggies to go alongside, so your whole "tummy share" isn't going to the treats.  Have a big bowl of greens and a small bowl of pasta, not the other way round.  Less dense comfort foods like hot tea and broth, you can have anytime, as much as you want


Also, there are comforting things like snuggly blankets, bubble baths and romantic movies, which are zero-calorie.  This time of year, everyone needs comforting, it's not like you have to be a drill sergeant to yourself.

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Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.

Hylian Assassin 5'5", 143 lbs.
Half-marathon: 3:02
It is pitch dark. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

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Oh god that freezing in the rain and then nice warm shower and blankets feeling is the absolute best thing in the world.


I'm lucky in that I do like a large portion of veggies, so as long as I'm willing to chop them up and throw them in the oven when I get home I'll be fine.

It's getting into the habit of that, and BREAKING the habit of going out whenever I'm not feeling up to it, that's the hardest part for me. I've built a habit on "Im tired, I don't feel good, Im having a bad day.... lets go out for dinner" (and im not the type that has the willpower to be healthy at restaurants)


I think I'm gonna try your advice about the limiting comfort foods, when I get into health mode I tend to go to extremes and then crash. So far I'm trying to save the majority of comfort foods for weekends.

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Based on your comment, "chopping veggies" I assume you prefer fresh veg to the more convenience-oriented frozen/canned. Have you considered/tried prepping them ahead of time, so that all you have to do is throw them in the oven? Some veggies you might not be able to do that with (eggplant, tomato - ok, technically a fruit, but practically a vegetable) but most of the rest will keep nicely in small portion containers in the crisper.

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I do like to use frozen broccoli especially but I tend not to like it if I'm roasting. I use it all the time for stir fry though


I haven't tried prepping them ahead of time yet, being afraid of them going bad, but I may try to do that with the things I cook tonight. Chop some extras.

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