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I have no ass, and yet I must squat.


Image result for i have no mouth and i must scream
This is totally out of left field for me to make this group but I feel it's absolutely necessary.
You see, I've lost a grand total of 120 pounds so far.  While that is super awesome and all, it has left me with #NotAsFatAnymoreProblems.


Some of them are:


-Not having nearly as much 'insulation' so I'm fucking cold more often.

-Excess skin

-Not having an ass as a cushion.


Where I work, I need to sit on a footstool.  A hard, plastic footstool.  This was never a problem in the 9 years that I worked there.  In fact, because of my weight; I preferred sitting instead of standing (and having my feet, knees, back, etc all hurt).  With having lost a shitload of weight, I now have contracted a serious disease: White-guy-ass.  My ass hurts within less than 2 minutes of sitting on this godforsaken stool.


Also my pants do not enjoy asslessness and fall off when I walk up stairs.


And between you and me, I really like getting spanked but there's nothing TO spank.


What's a boy to do?



With that, I offer any and all ass-enthusiasts to join my on this quest to be accounta-booty-buddies.




Join if you would also need to work on the glutes.  Share exercises. Keep each other accountable for making sure you have the best rear-end around.  Because buttcheeks come in pairs.


Image result for whole ass




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1 hour ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I can't believe no one has joined in yet. What's your opinion on squats vs deadlifts vs lunges for booty development?


I know!  I would think that with people finally jumping on the caboose train in culture; that this would have more attention.


As for squat/deadlift/lunges; I think it's more a matter of if you are able to activate the glutes when doing the action. For example, with lunges I have a really hard time trying to flex my butt at all.  With squats, it's slightly better than lunges; but not by much.  With deadlifts, I feel like I'm more stable and I'm able to activate them the most out of all of those exercises.


I also speak of this because I totally have more more developed thighs, so they take the 'brunt' of the lifting.  I would like to get resistance bands and do those donkey kicks to see if that activates as well.  Also, those 'lay on the floor and do a sort of humping motion' exercise is able to activate glutes (for me at least).



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Yes, the air hump is a good warm up exercise for the booty. If you have access to one a Roman chair is a good next step. I always feel a good burn in the buns afterwards.

I've never tried donkey kicks. I'll give them a shot next time I'm playing around.

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“We might as well start where we are, use what we have and do what we can." – Caitlin Rivers

Sloth: The Man with the Hammer battle log

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I'm here! Yay! 


15 hours ago, Sloth the Enduring said:

I can't believe no one has joined in yet. What's your opinion on squats vs deadlifts vs lunges for booty development?


Here is an article about how to better activate glutes when squatting (hint: sumo).


Also, I linked a booty-heavy band workout in a thread (Teros' maybe? - I've been catching up on my posting). 


Here is another article with good glute exercises. 

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I'm in! Booty buddies unite. 

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By the way @Teros, I love looking for things about booty. God help whomever has to monitor my internet usage.



Here's another link to a no squat booty workout - for those without bands! I'm going to do this tonight as part of my workout. FYI, I've done this before - I'd start with a reasonable goal; like 10 reps per side x three rounds. It's not as easy as it seems!


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