my wedding dress doesn't fit and I have 6 months left!!

[TalkDisneyToMe]

Let me start by saying I did it wrong. Buying the dress, I mean. I knew exactly which dress I wanted (I've been ogling it for years). It came with a price tag outside the range my brain could rationalize, considering I would only wear it for a day. $1,200 could be better spent on a nicer venue or a cake - something that my guests could enjoy as well, not just me. So I had a brilliant idea! Maybe someone on eBay would be selling this dress for less than retail, and maybe I could win the auction, if I was patient enough to watch and watch and watch for it.

 

One week. It took one week of watching eBay for someone to put my dress up for sale. And for $200. My brain exploded. I bought it immediately, ignoring the fact that I was double the size on its label - a 6, and I am squeezing into my 14s.

 

"No matter," I brushed it off. "I have 13 months until the wedding! So easy to lose all those sizes."

 

"No biggie," I shrugged. "I still have 10 whole months to lose the weight!"

 

"Oh shit," I sighed last night as my mother told me it was 3 inches away from its widest button. "I only have six months left. What have I been doing for the last six?!"

 

That's right. Knowing full well I had to lose the weight to fit into my dress, I let excuses get in the way. "But we have two parties a week, and each one has alcohol and cake!" "But I am stressed and need chocolate!" "But it's Tuesday!" Oh, you bet your barbell I would make any excuse to eat me some pizza or chocolate. There was sooo much time left, right?!

 

"You should buy a backup dress, Amy. This one might not fit on your wedding day," my mother told me yesterday. She was the one who bought me the dress after I told her how much I loved it and what a great deal it was. I can't not fit into the thing!

 

I know it was a dumbass move to buy a dress too small, saying "I'll lose weight to fit into it!" I know that's the wrong way to buy clothes. And yet I do it time and time again with my regular wardrobe, thinking if all my clothes are too small I will just HAVE to lose the weight. Instead, I'm a walking talking sausage who is uncomfortable all day, which makes me depressed, which makes me eat.

 

Well, that's not really an option for this drsss. There is no squeezing into it or covering up with a hoodie. It's either do or don't. 

 

Im gonna fuckin DO.

 

So, here's my respawn. I actually started about a month ago and have messed up a few times, but have managed to bounce back all right so far. I'm building muscle to burn fat. I'm eating lots of veggies, counting calories, and limiting the crap. I've lost 5 pounds so far, but I know it starts fast and will slow down. I know all this and all the rules because this is like my 1000th respawn.... but this time I have something super important to keep my shit together.

 

It's not just about fitting into the dress. Sure, having to buy a new one would be horrible, as I would have to get something else cheap and the likelihood of finding my dress on eBay again, in a size I will fit into, is slim to none. But it wouldn't be the end of the world. It's just a dress.

 

No, it's more about proving to myself and to my mom that I am capable of staying disciplined and accomplishing a goal I've been after the last ten years of being overweight. So far in my life I haven't done anything worth a "congratulations", and while I'm not looking for praise to follow me everywhere, I just want to make myself and my family proud. I have never felt that before. 

 

Lpsing weight is something I have complete control over. I can't control what job I get or whether my car gets stuck in the snow or if  the dishes don't get done (shhhhhh), but I absolutely have control over the groceries in my home, the meals and snacks I consume, and how often I move my size-14-and-not-(yet!)-size-6 body.

 

3 inches seems like a hell of a lot. I don't really know how that will equate in pounds. I can grab some fat here and there, but I can also feel my ribs and shoulder blades through the fat. I just hope my body physically allows for me to get as slim as I need to be.

 

Thanks for reading my respawn - it helped a lot just to get it out!! I have 6 months before the wedding, but ideally I am there in 4 months so I can go in for alterations and things. 

 

-Amy

[BlamedCat]

Taking a cue from your name...

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." — Rafiki

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." — The Emperor

"Even miracles take a little time." — Fairy Godmother

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can do this.  You've got this.  You know what you need to do and you need to flip that switch that says "I might fail" to "I'm not going to lose".  I'm glad you've got a reasonable amount of time to do this, losing the weight/inches over that amount of time is gonna be healthy and practical, as long as you stay on target.

 

Don't forget this is for the long-term.  Sure you've got the dress mini-goal right now, but everything is gonna stick this time.   Welcome to the turning point, you've got this.

 

[TalkDisneyToMe]

3 hours ago, BlamedCat said:

Taking a cue from your name...

"The past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it." — Rafiki

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most rare and beautiful of all." — The Emperor

"Even miracles take a little time." — Fairy Godmother

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you can do this.  You've got this.  You know what you need to do and you need to flip that switch that says "I might fail" to "I'm not going to lose".  I'm glad you've got a reasonable amount of time to do this, losing the weight/inches over that amount of time is gonna be healthy and practical, as long as you stay on target.

 

Don't forget this is for the long-term.  Sure you've got the dress mini-goal right now, but everything is gonna stick this time.   Welcome to the turning point, you've got this.

 

 

I love that line from Rafiki!! Thank you thank you!

 

 

[BlamedCat]

1 hour ago, TalkDisneyToMe said:

 

I love that line from Rafiki!! Thank you thank you!

 

 

33% success?  I'll take it!

Seriously though, you're very welcome.  Mind if I follow along on your journey?

[TalkDisneyToMe]

1 hour ago, BlamedCat said:

33% success?  I'll take it!

Seriously though, you're very welcome.  Mind if I follow along on your journey?

 

LOL Let me rephrase:

 

I love all those quotes, but have specifically had Rafikis stick with me for years now!

 

You can absolutely follow along! The more the merrier!

[BlamedCat]

7 minutes ago, TalkDisneyToMe said:

 

LOL Let me rephrase:

 

I love all those quotes, but have specifically had Rafikis stick with me for years now!

 

You can absolutely follow along! The more the merrier!

Oh okay, that makes more sense!

 

W00t, consider yourself followed!

[Raincloak]

Congrats on finding the wedding dress of your dreams!

 

That said, if I were you, I'd start looking now for a tailor or seamstress who can alter the dress to fit you.  Because you're absolutely right, you need to plan on how the dress fits four months from now, not six months from now.

 

Suppose you get religion, you drop a few dress sizes in the next four months, and by February you're down to, let's just say, a size 8.  That's great!  But what if you can't lose the last couple sizes in the following two months?  What if you are a size 6 in other brands, but this dress is from a brand that runs small?  What if most of you fits into the dress, but your shoulders or hips or bust or whatever isn't looking right in it?  What if you have other things to worry about by then?  (You will, trust me.)

 

So you'd be smart to plan on getting it altered.  And people who can do that need a lot of advance notice, so you'll have to hire the seamstress well ahead of the wedding.  I would hire that person no later than two months before the wedding date.  Preferably three months.

 

Buying clothes and planning to fit into them is a mistake, but not for the reasons you probably think.  The mistake is believing you have absolute control over the nitty-gritty details of your body.  You don't.  Neither do I.  You can work on losing weight, but you can't control which parts you lose it from, how fast it comes off, or when you'll hit your minimum.  I've been a healthy weight my entire adult life and I wear sizes ranging from 4 to 12 depending on brand and body part.  You've just got to plan on trying stuff, and if it doesn't fit, make some adjustments.

 

by the way, you don't have to prove jack squat to your mom or anyone else.  Don't go thinking this is about them.  Your health is strictly your own business.  I wouldn't even tell them you're losing weight, unless you REALLY are dying for their input.  Family has a way of sabotaging one's efforts at self improvement, even when they love you and are trying to support you.  Sometimes it's better to just not tell them about these projects.  Up to you, of course.

[TalkDisneyToMe]

11 hours ago, Raincloak said:

Congrats on finding the wedding dress of your dreams!

 

That said, if I were you, I'd start looking now for a tailor or seamstress who can alter the dress to fit you.  Because you're absolutely right, you need to plan on how the dress fits four months from now, not six months from now.

 

Suppose you get religion, you drop a few dress sizes in the next four months, and by February you're down to, let's just say, a size 8.  That's great!  But what if you can't lose the last couple sizes in the following two months?  What if you are a size 6 in other brands, but this dress is from a brand that runs small?  What if most of you fits into the dress, but your shoulders or hips or bust or whatever isn't looking right in it?  What if you have other things to worry about by then?  (You will, trust me.)

 

So you'd be smart to plan on getting it altered.  And people who can do that need a lot of advance notice, so you'll have to hire the seamstress well ahead of the wedding.  I would hire that person no later than two months before the wedding date.  Preferably three months.

 

Buying clothes and planning to fit into them is a mistake, but not for the reasons you probably think.  The mistake is believing you have absolute control over the nitty-gritty details of your body.  You don't.  Neither do I.  You can work on losing weight, but you can't control which parts you lose it from, how fast it comes off, or when you'll hit your minimum.  I've been a healthy weight my entire adult life and I wear sizes ranging from 4 to 12 depending on brand and body part.  You've just got to plan on trying stuff, and if it doesn't fit, make some adjustments.

 

by the way, you don't have to prove jack squat to your mom or anyone else.  Don't go thinking this is about them.  Your health is strictly your own business.  I wouldn't even tell them you're losing weight, unless you REALLY are dying for their input.  Family has a way of sabotaging one's efforts at self improvement, even when they love you and are trying to support you.  Sometimes it's better to just not tell them about these projects.  Up to you, of course.

 

Thank you for your response!

 

You're right, I won't have perfect control over my body. I actually have never really thought about that - I can't force my body to be a certain size or force my bust to get to a certain size. I know spot treating doesn't work when working out, so that's a start, but I never really took it a step further and looked at how I can't mold my body.

 

That said, I'm gonna try my damned hardest to get it close to what I'd like it to be! I'm not sure what to expect - I haven't seen myself without a belly or lovehandles in over 10 years. But whatever my body looks like at a healthy weight, I will love it, and with the help of a seamstress, my dress will love it too!!

 

My family knows I'm losing weight because I've been trying and failing for years and years. I'm the one that is always dieting, and they always say "you look great, have you lost weight?!" Even when I've gained ten pounds...so there's no way to hide it anymore! lol I guess when I say "prove to my mom," I just mean that I want to make her proud of my determination and success. She has also struggled with weight for most of her life (after kids), and if I can be an example of how to do it, maybe that's a double win!

 

Thanks again!!

[thewritescott]

I'm very interested in how this respawn works out.

I'd like to offer up a long term perspective. You have a goal of fitting into the dress. That's great.

Sounds like you're taking some healthy steps to get there. Adding vegetables. Watching intake. Building muscle. Good on you.

I'd encourage you to look beyond the wedding day. This is your 1000th respawn? Man. I know the feeling. I don't want to keep getting to a certain point and then going back to where I was. Neither, I suspect, do you.

Your wedding day is a new beginning. Wherever you find yourself that day... in this dress, in this dress with slight alterations or in a new dress because you lost too much weight ;-) look at that day as a fresh start as well.

As you move towards your goal, make the changes to your lifestyle ones you can continue on. Probably you won't keep the calorie intake as low. But you'll want to keep the vegetables, eat more protein, and limit (though not eliminate entirely) the empty calories.

Keep building muscle. And move from appearance as a goal, to appearance as a side effect of fitness.

Then, years from now you'll have a great story about your dress. And you won't have to wonder how you ever fit into it.

Keep us posted.

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G870A using Tapatalk

[GoldLynx]

Hey!

That's awesome that you found your dream dress! I'm rooting for you.

Everything in moderation! See cookies + want cookies + CAN'T RESIST COOKIES = eat one cookie and feel fine about it.

[TalkDisneyToMe]

1 hour ago, GoldLynx said:

Hey!

That's awesome that you found your dream dress! I'm rooting for you.

Everything in moderation! See cookies + want cookies + CAN'T RESIST COOKIES = eat one cookie and feel fine about it.

 

Thank you!!

 

cookies are a bad one for me, actually. I have a hard time just having one! I've sat down with a whole package of Oreos before...a few times...it's bad lol

 

 But yes, in the past I have definitely had trouble moderating the amount I allow myself. I am working on treating myself every now and again with a reasonable amount rather than having a horrible "cheat day" and undoing my whole week!!

[BlamedCat]

Hey gal, haven't heard from you in a while.  How are things going?

[TalkDisneyToMe]

On 10/31/2016 at 8:12 AM, BlamedCat said:

Hey gal, haven't heard from you in a while.  How are things going?

 

Not much to report except for a 5-day stint of eating candy and carbs lol

 

I realized this week that I've become addicted to coffee/caffeine (again, ugh) so I am going to use the next week to kick that habit and utilize all the tea I have. 

 

Here's a random thought: I like vegetables but feel strangely unsatisfied by them. I buy lots of steamable frozen veggies for simplicity's sake, and I will eat a whole damn bag of peas or green beans or whatever it is...but I still feel hungry afterwards. My stomach feels physically full, but it's growling like I didn't give it what it wanted. Not sure how to fix that.

 

I also fell out of my gym routine and haven't been in about 10 days. I think it's because we go at night, after dinner during our only free time of the day. I used to be good about waking up early and going alone, which then made me eat good all day, too. Now I am having trouble waking up at all, and have had three days of 10+ hours of sleep, then I wake up and am exhausted. I imagine that's from eating crappy and relying on coffee.

 

so, to make a long story short, I screwed up this past week and need to get back on track. No coffee, get back to the gym (preferably in the morning), and figure out how to make vegetables more fulfilling.

 

thank you for checking up on me  it's been a rough week mentally, too, so it helps to even write this post

[BlamedCat]

4 minutes ago, TalkDisneyToMe said:

 

Not much to report except for a 5-day stint of eating candy and carbs lol

 

I realized this week that I've become addicted to coffee/caffeine (again, ugh) so I am going to use the next week to kick that habit and utilize all the tea I have. 

 

Here's a random thought: I like vegetables but feel strangely unsatisfied by them. I buy lots of steamable frozen veggies for simplicity's sake, and I will eat a whole damn bag of peas or green beans or whatever it is...but I still feel hungry afterwards. My stomach feels physically full, but it's growling like I didn't give it what it wanted. Not sure how to fix that.

 

I also fell out of my gym routine and haven't been in about 10 days. I think it's because we go at night, after dinner during our only free time of the day. I used to be good about waking up early and going alone, which then made me eat good all day, too. Now I am having trouble waking up at all, and have had three days of 10+ hours of sleep, then I wake up and am exhausted. I imagine that's from eating crappy and relying on coffee.

 

so, to make a long story short, I screwed up this past week and need to get back on track. No coffee, get back to the gym (preferably in the morning), and figure out how to make vegetables more fulfilling.

 

thank you for checking up on me  it's been a rough week mentally, too, so it helps to even write this post

Well, you're not alone on the candy and carbs thing.  I think a lot of people fell into that lol

 

On the coffee, that's a good idea.  As I've mentioned in my thread, I love coldbrew teabags (if you're into iced tea, it's worth it). I'm not sure how you are with addictions, some people can kick them cold turkey.  I can do that with some things and yet other things I have to ween myself off.

 

Oooooh, veggies!  YES, I've been RIGHT THERE WITH YOU!!!  I figured out one thing that helps.  At least from my mind on the matter, our bodies are craving that satisfied feeling, well healthy fats can actually assist in that.  So if you eat a bag of broccoli, make sure to toss it in olive oil.  That's worked wonders for me.  You could probably look into other oils maybe an EVOO that way the flavor doesn't take over the veggies, but give it a shot and let me know if that helps.

 

*nods* That's what life is about, remember the road to success isn't a straight shot, it's gonna be all over the place.  Everyone knows I've been all over the place these past years, so I'm right there in the trenches with ya in a sense.

 

You're very welcome   I'm glad I could help out.  Keep yer chin up and good luck this week.  Keep us updated, okay?

[BlamedCat]

Have you had a chance to try doing the veggies with olive oil yet?

[TalkDisneyToMe]

On 11/4/2016 at 0:00 PM, BlamedCat said:

Have you had a chance to try doing the veggies with olive oil yet?

 

Not yet but I have veggies ready to be oiled! lol I've been feeling "tacos" lately so I've been doing "burrito bowls" with rice, beans, corn, Tabasco, etc.

 

[BlamedCat]

 

Not yet but I have veggies ready to be oiled! lol I've been feeling "tacos" lately so I've been doing "burrito bowls" with rice, beans, corn, Tabasco, etc.

 

[emoji4]

Woohoo! What veggies are you gonna try it with?

Oh my, taco bowls sound delicious!

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