Minna respawns to battle the depression ninja

[Minna]

Here's why I respawned. That'll explain my general situation.

 

For this challenge, I want to focus on these specific goals:

 

 

Physical health

 

• Walk at least 20 minutes a day, six days a week. On Fridays and/or Sundays, I'll do my regular five-mile walk.
• Do at least five minutes of strength exercises, up to six days a week.
• Do at least four rounds of archery, three days a week.
• Start learning bo staff with my daughter.
   

 

Nutrition

 

• Drink at least four glasses of water a day.
• Add less sugar to my morning tea; eat unsweetened food when available every day.

 

 

Mental health

 

• Find one thing to love about me every day.
• Pause to recognize the progress I'm making, and be kind to myself if it isn't what I hoped.

[Manarelle]

Welcome back. I like the idea of having a personal warrior to fight the personal demons, and the "I'll do it for her, even if I'm down on myself" concept. Looks like a good recipe for success!

 

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of archery do you do?

 

 

[Minna]

Just now, Manarelle said:

If you don't mind me asking, what kind of archery do you do?

I have a recurve bow (PSE Razorback) that I shoot in my backyard. I don't hunt or compete; I shoot because it's just about the most mindful thing I've ever done. Do you?

[shaar]

I love, love, love your respawn.  It's so extremely well thought out, and compassionate, and mindful.  You're already so much on the right track by being able to realize and pinpoint these weaknesses, and also to be ready to stand up to them for a better you!

 

I used to practice bo staff!  Loved it lots.   I can still do pretty well with one, hooray muscle memory.

 

Will be here to cheer you on!! <3

[Manarelle]

I'm more of a pistol sort of person, same goal though - for focus and personal betterment. My gentleman shoots a compound bow of some sort (way too many gadgets and gizmos for me), so I figured I'd ask.  He has tried getting me into it, and I have shot a recurve a few times, but I prefer my firearms. That's neat that you have a backyard setup, though! We have to go to ranges, which makes it much more difficult to practice, though. How do you measure "rounds" to practice?

[Minna]

Shooting firearms is definitely more difficult in the backyard, certainly!

 

A "round" for me is a quiverful. (I have a dozen arrows.) It doesn't take me long to shoot that few, but I wanted to aim low so I wouldn't feel like a failure if I set the bar at an hour's worth of shooting, say, and not do it.

[Spikings]

Best of luck! I can relate to your mental health goals in a way, as I'm trying to get some self-positivity back in my life too. Kepp us updated, hope it goes well for you!

[Lilmissbri]

On 10/26/2016 at 0:03 PM, Minna said:

Here's why I respawned. That'll explain my general situation.

 

This was beautiful to read. I'll be following along for support!! Your goals quest and the positive statements you made were particularly inspiring to me.

 

On 10/26/2016 at 0:48 PM, Manarelle said:

Welcome back. I like the idea of having a personal warrior to fight the personal demons, and the "I'll do it for her, even if I'm down on myself" concept. Looks like a good recipe for success!

 

I concur! Really well done.

[FlyingJen]

Following! I'm in the same boat regarding the depression ninja and I love the personal warrior idea. 

[Spikings]

Following also, really inspired by your respawn. Hope the first few days prove good ones for you. <3

[Rincewind]

On 26.10.2016 at 10:14 PM, Manarelle said:

I'm more of a pistol sort of person, same goal though - for focus and personal betterment. My gentleman shoots a compound bow of some sort (way too many gadgets and gizmos for me), so I figured I'd ask.  He has tried getting me into it, and I have shot a recurve a few times, but I prefer my firearms. That's neat that you have a backyard setup, though! We have to go to ranges, which makes it much more difficult to practice, though. How do you measure "rounds" to practice?

 

I want to learn to use the bow someday, too. It seems to be a great way of training your mind and body. - Besides, I love "Arrow". And (cross)bows and arrows seem to be a better choice than firearms when preparing for the zombie-apocalypse.

[Minna]

 

I want to learn to use the bow someday, too. It seems to be a great way of training your mind and body. - Besides, I love "Arrow". [emoji6] And (cross)bows and arrows seem to be a better choice than firearms when preparing for the zombie-apocalypse.

You can start learning at home if you have no instructors nearby. There are lots of good online tutorials (I recommend anything by Grizzly Jim at Merlin Archery) and starter bows don't have to be expensive. It's awesome!

[shaar]

How has Week 1 been treating you? ^__________^

[Myrik]

Read your respawn post.  I have personally haven't dealt with depression but have had many people in my life that do.  The personal warrior idea is great and I think everyone could use that idea in some form or another so thank you very much for sharing it.  I think its cool that you plan on learning the Bo with your Daughter.  Best of luck in this months challenge.

[Minna]

Week 1 Update:   

 

Crap. I let the week slip away. I’m remembering now what I forgot from my last challenges - that procrastination is a BIG THING with me. I’d like to blame all my slippage on the epic migraines I had this week (first-ever migraine-related visit to the ER! Yay!) but I really honestly can’t.

 

 

These were my goals for this challenge, and how I did this first week:   

 

 

Physical health:   

 

1. Walk at least 20 minutes a day, six days a week. On Fridays and/or Sundays, I'll do my regular five-mile walk.

• Nailed it. I don’t take the shuttle from the parking lot anymore, and did a great walk Friday and a wonderful two-hour hike today.

2. Do at least five minutes of strength exercises, up to six days a week.

• Yeah, no.

3. Do at least four rounds of archery, three days a week.

• Nope.

4. Start learning bo staff with my daughter.

• Nope. She’s just started karate, so I’ll start bo on my own so she can concentrate on what she’s learning. There's no excuse not to just mess around with it on my own.    

 

 

Nutrition:   

1. Drink at least four glasses of water a day.

• Well, I had at least two every day, and even that is more than I was drinking. 

2. Add less sugar to my morning tea; eat unsweetened food when available every day.

• STUPID HALLOWEEN: Y U HAPPEN NOW?    

 

 

Mental health:   

 

1. Find one thing to love about me every day. 

• I remembered to do this three times this week. For the sake of accountability, and because I was raised in a WASPy Victorian household in which girls do not think nice things about themselves, I am going to list them here to start undoing some of that damage:
  - I can create anything.
  - I give good advice.
  - I deserve to feel empowered. (Sounds like an empty affirmation, but it means quite a lot to me.)

2. Pause to recognize the progress I'm making, and be kind to myself if it isn't what I hoped.

• Thank the gods for THIS item! I need to remember that this is week 1 of a respawn, and that I struggle every day with the temptation to put myself last. I’m going to consider paring down my goals so I don’t set myself up for a beatdown by the depression ninja. Here’s to week 2.

[Manarelle]

15 hours ago, Minna said:

Thank the gods for THIS item! I need to remember that this is week 1 of a respawn, and that I struggle every day with the temptation to put myself last. I’m going to consider paring down my goals so I don’t set myself up for a beatdown by the depression ninja. Here’s to week 2.

 

Are you doing better than you were two weeks ago? A month ago? Last year? Even a tiny win is still a win, and if you keep up the tiny wins every week, you'll be unrecognizable in a year. 

 

[Minna]

Did my first bodyweight workout! I stayed up all night (election and whatnot) and developed a horrible migraine, so I stayed home from work today. When it started letting up, I did the 2A Bodyweight Workout. 

 

3 sets of squats

3 sets of rows, 5lb (a little easy)

3 sets knee pushups (hard)

3 sets of 30-second farmer’s walks, 13 lbs each side, easy. Held a little out to the side to make it harder.

 

I remember that last time I did the bodyweight workout for the first time, I thought, "Pfft, that was nothing" — and then felt it HARD the next day. So I'm going to see how it all feels tomorrow before doing it again. 

 

Also took my measurements. I tried hard not to compare them to my last NF measurements two years and 30 pounds ago. 

[RogueLibrarian]

Belatedly following.

[Spikings]

Nice one with the BodyWeight Workout! The first few are the hardest but it only gets easier from now on. Keep going, rooting for you!

[Minna]

Here are some inspiring quotes I've collected recently:

• She believed she could, so she did.
   
• There's a string that runs through our bad days
  If you pull that string real tight
  The days all crumple together
  And all that you see is night
   
• The best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago. The second best time is now. (Chinese proverb)
   
• Ask yourself if what you are doing today is getting you closer to where you want to be tomorrow.
   
• Regret doesn’t remind us that we did badly. It reminds us that we know we can do better.
   
• People who live in glass houses should shut the fuck up. (Ernest Cline)
   
• What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
   
• Planetary scientist Monica Grady: "Of course you believed it would happen. You have to believe it would happen, or you wouldn't do it."

 

IM IN UR BOOX HOLDING UR SPOT

[Minna]

I'm really struggling with my fears this week, particularly regarding current events.

 

A podcast I listen to, The Morning Stream, had a fantastic segment on the stages of grief and how they relate to current affairs (every Thursday, they talk to the podcaster's sister, a real therapist), and helped me figure out where I am with all this.

 

If you want to know more, here are the links. It starts at 57:04 at YouTube or 56:55 at SoundCloud. I highly recommend it.

 

 

[FlyingJen]

Thanks for the podcast links and the quotes. It's been a rough week.  

[Minna]

This is all I have to say.

 

[Minna]

Week 2 Update  

 

FML

 

 

Well, that week was crap all around for the entire country! I did discover two sources of new motivation, though:

• Anger. I’ve spent most of my life really depressed, which has zero energy in it. When I allow myself to be angry, I discover and remember how empowering it can be if channelled towards the good. When I’m depressed, I don’t know how to even let time pass. When I’m angry, my focus is laser-sharp. Years ago, it gave me the energy and confidence to kick a cheating ex out of the house for good without a second thought, and I grew stronger every day. I had forgotten the slightly-scary motivational power of anger. It definitely got me moving this week.
   
• The related matter of the Women’s March on Washington in January. I’m overweight, tired, and not proud of my health. Wanting to be healthier when I go, using that moment in time as a motivator, I have new energy to do what I can.

 

Physical health  

 

 

 1. Walk at least 20 minutes a day, six days a week. On Fridays and/or Sundays, I'll do my regular five-mile walk.

• Still walking at work and did a great walk today (my day to dive into the woods), but could have done more. 

2. Do at least five minutes of strength exercises, up to six days a week.

• Well, I started the NF bodyweight workout last week, and was so sore that I put it out of my mind. I’m going to do it again, but not every day. And of course, I don’t need to do the whole thing as long as I do something.

3. Do at least four rounds of archery, three days a week.

• Nope.

4. Start learning bo staff with my daughter.

• Found a good YT channel with some informal lessons, and our practice staffs came in the mail this week!  

 

Nutrition  

 

 

1. Drink at least four glasses of water a day.

• Massive migraines this week drove me to the formal act of prescribing myself water. I have the great waterin app that helps me remember, and it’s been a good start. I AM GOING TO DO THIS.

2. Add less sugar to my morning tea; eat unsweetened food when available every day.

• Yup. Junk carbs, you’re next.

 

Mental health  

 

 

1. Find one thing to love about me every day. 

• I kept forgetting to do this. I know I’m undoing a lifetime of such thinking, so today I’m going to say:
  • I am capable of forgiving myself for falling short of my own harsh expectations.
  • Also, the emotional experiences I've had this week reminded me that I'm capable of more compassion than I realized, even for those with whom I so vehemently disagree.

2. Pause to recognize the progress I'm making, and be kind to myself if it isn't what I hoped.

• Working on it.

[Manarelle]

3 hours ago, Minna said:

2. Do at least five minutes of strength exercises, up to six days a week.

• Well, I started the NF bodyweight workout last week, and was so sore that I put it out of my mind. I’m going to do it again, but not every day. And of course, I don’t need to do the whole thing as long as I do something.

 

You might already know this, but just wanted to check in. The NF beginner bodyweight workout (BBWW) is a full-body workout - you don't want to do all of that every day, because your muscles won't have recovery time. Would it help to break it up into two or three "types" of workout (upper/lower/core) and rotate them every day so you're not overdoing any muscle group? 

 

Grats on the progress in walking and nutrition, though! Hitting goals this week has been rough (for about half of the nation's population). Good job making progress through difficult times, and nice work on finding motivation out of it!