Michi will be thankful

[MichiruSedai]

I still haven't really thought of a coherent challenge idea, but I know it starts today, so.... here's a thread. 

 

One thing I know I want to do this month is list three things I am grateful/thankful for every day.  They can be repeats from day to day.  I am hoping that by focusing on the good things in my life it will help with the depression.

 

I am totally open to challenge suggestions.  I'm at a point where I feel like I'm on routine with tracking and step goals, those things aren't really "challenging".  I may do the shower/taking care of myself challenge again, that is something I struggle with the more depressed I get.  I may do a recipe challenge again.  I'm honestly not sure what to work on the next four weeks!

 

Edited to add:

 

I set some goals, you can see them in my spreadsheet.  I'm mostly focusing this month on taking care of myself.  I feel like they are slacker goals, but they are good things to work on. I am still open to suggestions on how to improve my challenges because I feel like I'm on total newbie mode.

 

Spreadsheet here!

[WritingWeaver]

No goals are slacker goals. Don't forget you dominated your last challenge, so this one can be to strengthen the same routine and gain confidence (it's difficult to do the simplest things when depressed, I know the feeling). 

If you ever need to talk, send a pm my way, or email. creativefirststeps717@gmail.com  

Best of luck this challenge, we're in your corner!

-Jen

 

 

PS: I may steal your spreadsheet! I need something to track my progress on here

[Huldra]

Sometimes, finding as much as 3 things to be grateful for every day can be a huge accomplishment. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. 

 

And I agree with WritingWeaver - that is a great spreadsheet.

 

Good luck with the challenge!

[deftona]

11 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

I feel like they are slacker goals, but they are good things to work on.

 

They only feel like slacker goals because you have the harder stuff down so well! 

 

Maybe as well as the three things to be thankful for, you can name one thing you like about yourself/reason to love yourself every day. I'd really love to see you do that. 

[MichiruSedai]

10 hours ago, WritingWeaver said:

No goals are slacker goals. Don't forget you dominated your last challenge, so this one can be to strengthen the same routine and gain confidence (it's difficult to do the simplest things when depressed, I know the feeling). 

If you ever need to talk, send a pm my way, or email. creativefirststeps717@gmail.com  

Best of luck this challenge, we're in your corner!

-Jen

 

 

PS: I may steal your spreadsheet! I need something to track my progress on here

 

Thanks, WritingWeaver!  That goes both ways if you need to talk, I'm a PM away.  <3

 

Please, by all means, use the spreadsheet!  I hope it helps!

 

 

 

7 hours ago, Huldra said:

Sometimes, finding as much as 3 things to be grateful for every day can be a huge accomplishment. Take care of yourself and be kind to yourself. 

 

And I agree with WritingWeaver - that is a great spreadsheet.

 

Good luck with the challenge!

 

Thanks, Huldra!  I appreciate it!

 

1 hour ago, deftona said:

 

They only feel like slacker goals because you have the harder stuff down so well! 

 

Maybe as well as the three things to be thankful for, you can name one thing you like about yourself/reason to love yourself every day. I'd really love to see you do that. 

 

Fair point, Def!  I like that idea, so I have added it to my tracking spreadsheet.

 

 

[MichiruSedai]

A new month begins! October I lost 8.8 lbs, which pleases me. November I am again shooting for 8 lbs, which may be a bit challenging with the four day thanksgiving weekend food extravaganza.

[MichiruSedai]

Well, I wish i could say I finished week one strong, but I did pretty bad on my goals yesterday.  Onward and upward, though, today is another day!

 

I'm 0.8 lbs away from 100 lbs lost and I'm feeling oddly not as excited as I expected to be.  I'm mostly embarrassed that I had so much to lose, and looking at how far I still have to go.  But I've been having a really bad depression spiral this weekend (hence crapping out on self care goals), so I'm having trouble seeing the positive in anything.  I'm trying super hard to turn that around!!

[Sylvaa]

20 hours ago, MichiruSedai said:

Well, I wish i could say I finished week one strong, but I did pretty bad on my goals yesterday.  Onward and upward, though, today is another day!

 

I'm 0.8 lbs away from 100 lbs lost and I'm feeling oddly not as excited as I expected to be.  I'm mostly embarrassed that I had so much to lose, and looking at how far I still have to go.  But I've been having a really bad depression spiral this weekend (hence crapping out on self care goals), so I'm having trouble seeing the positive in anything.  I'm trying super hard to turn that around!!

 

Nooooo! Who cares how you got to the point you were at? What's important is that you have gone through SO MUCH to get back to where you are now. 

 

I get it, it's pretty crappy to look back and be like, oh my goodness, I was so unhealthy then. But who cares! You have overcome so many things that were hurting you. 100 pounds is amazing and that should be such an achievement!

 

Sending hugs your way, even if you don't want them!

[MichiruSedai]

I always accept hugs.  Thanks!  <3

[Leigh]

I challenge you to go to the gym and lift 100lbs on the day you hit your 100lbs goal. When I lost 20lbs one summer in college I put my two 10s in my backback and walked around for a while with it on my back and it was insane how heavy it felt. I try to see weight loss less in the sense of "oh gods... how did I let it get that far?!" instead I like to think of each milestone as one less thing in the backpack of life The less junk we have to carry around each day leaves more room for interesting/useful/meaningful things.

 

And you are SOOOOOOO close to that major milestone.

 

You're awesome, and a major inspiration to me.

 

[MichiruSedai]

 

Thanks for the kind words and cute graphic, too.  <3 

 

*grouphug*

[MichiruSedai]

I've been having a rough week (as have many, I know), so it's kinda nice that today I have the whole day off of work!  There's an hour long program at my son's school at 10:30, but rather than rushing from that to a half day at work, I took the whole day. 

 

I've spent the morning:

-making and eating a huge bowl of oatmeal with cinnamon, diced apple, and diced pear

-looking up recipes to try this weekend

-reading The 100 fanfiction, lol

-snuggling in my warm jammies/blankie

-planning out my day... which so far is go to the school at 10:30, and go to the gym tonight at 5:00 (son's swimming lesson, so I work out at that time)

 

I'm thinking this morning will continue to be read/lazy til I get ready to go.  But this afternoon I think will be a mix of video games, and also I want to reorganize my board game collection!

[Leigh]

You found fanfiction of the 100? Damn. Didn't think that existed! I have never seen fanfiction about books before. Just video games and shows.

Sent from my LG-K210 using Tapatalk

[MichiruSedai]

Fanfiction of The 100!

 

To be fair, most the fanfiction is based on the tv show.   But I have totally read fanfiction for Wheel of Time, Dragonriders of Pern, and Kushiel's Legacy which are all just books!

[Leigh]

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! Pern fanfic!?!?!?!?;?!?;

*Dies happily*

Sent from my LG-K210 using Tapatalk

[MichiruSedai]

Well guys, I lost that last stubborn 0.6 lb plus an extra 0.4 lb, putting me just past 100 lbs lost.

 

I've lost 100 lbs.

 

I'VE LOST 100 LBS!!!

 

Dance party in my thread all day today!

 

[Leigh]

Wooohooooo!!!!

Sent from my LG-K210 using Tapatalk

[Sylvaa]

OMG late to the party!

 

But:

 

 

 

[MichiruSedai]

Thanks, Leigh & Sylvaa.  <3

 

Did pretty well on goals for week 2, so that is a good thing.

 

I want to eat ALL THE THINGS, so I'm trying  not to do so.

 

I'm also being a slacker on gym/steps, and I need to fix that.

[MichiruSedai]

Eaten at a good deficit all week, gotten in my steps all week,  hit the gym yesterday, got up early today to get an extra 30 min walk, drank all my water.... scale is up

 

I  am so fucking sick of the scale not moving in a linear fashion, I'm sick of restricting what I eat and getting exercise and not seeing the loss I should.   I'm considering a maintenance break, but I don't want to set back my progress any further, since it's already work my ass off = no progress. 

 

(yes, I'm whining, it's only been this way for a couple weeks, but still, its super disheartening, especially since I know I can't count on a loss next week with the food extravaganza which is thanksgiving, even thought I will really try to moderate myself)

 

11/1 174.8

11/8 172.8

11/15 171.6 (should be 170.8)

11/18 172.4 

 

Yes, I know, barely a pound fluctuation, that could be water retention just from hitting the gym last night.  And writing it out makes me feel stupid, because I am sure that's exactly what it is, and why am I freaking out so much and getting so frustrated?  It has been a really frustrating and challenging week for me in terms of my depression level and my anxiety, and I've been trying so very very hard not to emotional eat, I just wish the scale reflected all my effort.

 

I'm considering starting to hit the gym every morning for extra cardio before work, because maybe the couple hundred extra calorie burn will help me since my maintenance calories are only 1850 a day now, which makes it really hard to make that -1000 daily deficit to lose 2 lbs a week.  I am terrified of slowing down and losing momentum and regaining.  I want to just get to my goal and be done with losing. I'm so tired of working on losing.

 

Edited to add:  I looked back over the last five weeks, and I really am freaking out over nothing.  I'm going to blame depression brain for making this into something way bigger than it is (pun intended)

181.2
179.0 -2.2
176.8 -2.2
174.4 -1.6
171.6 -2.8
172.4 +0.8

 

I need to get better at not getting upset about the scale.  I was doing super well with this most of the year, but now that the S.A.D. has kicked in on top of my "regular" depression, it's like a super blow when the number doesn't match what my math says it should.  Even though I know logically: water retention, etc etc blahblah reasons, not an "actual gain".

 

Today I have zero plans after work except watch this week's Grey's Anatomy and maybe play videogames.  Tomorrow I go to the Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddess concert.  Sunday I hang out at home.  I'm going to make it a good weekend, I'm going to eat at deficit, I'm going to get steps and hit the gym, and I will progress on my goals dammit!

[stealthstitcher]

You probably already know, but in case you forgot - you're awesome! Seriously, when I read your posts I just think "Michi is so inspirational! She sticks to her goals and accomplishes stuff!"

Non-linear progress is the most frustrating thing about ... well, anything. Why can't progress pull itself together and follow the plan and be nice and tidy and predictable?

[Sylvaa]

So we've totally talked about this a little bit already. I know it's super frustrating when the scale isn't doing what you want it to do!

 

But you are doing AMAZING! You've been working your butt off and you've made SO MUCH progress!

 

So cut yourself a little bit of slack and don't get totally derailed by a bad (based upon the scale) week!

[MichiruSedai]

On 11/18/2016 at 8:31 AM, stealthstitcher said:

You probably already know, but in case you forgot - you're awesome! Seriously, when I read your posts I just think "Michi is so inspirational! She sticks to her goals and accomplishes stuff!"

Non-linear progress is the most frustrating thing about ... well, anything. Why can't progress pull itself together and follow the plan and be nice and tidy and predictable?

 

Wow, thank you so much!  It kinda boggles my mind that I could inspire anyone, but I am the queen of being down on myself.  And YES! I hate the non-linear progress, I want it to just go down consistantly, not go down, up, down, down, up, up, left, right... it sounds like the code in video game, not how progress should go.  I am quite happy that I had a drop today finally after bouncing in the same 0.8lb range all last week, but I am TERRIFIED of what next week will bring.  I am determined to take at least two long walks a day to help in the small way it can with consumption, but there's going to be not only turkey and taters and etc but SIX KINDS OF PIE, two fancy alcoholic drinks that both sound amazing, and who knows what other junk foods.   ARGH!

 

On 11/18/2016 at 8:59 AM, Sylvaa said:

So we've totally talked about this a little bit already. I know it's super frustrating when the scale isn't doing what you want it to do!

 

But you are doing AMAZING! You've been working your butt off and you've made SO MUCH progress!

 

So cut yourself a little bit of slack and don't get totally derailed by a bad (based upon the scale) week!

 

Thank you!  I am trying so very hard not to get so focused on the scale.  It's gotten really hard lately.  I debated stopping my daily weigh ins, but, I really like the data, so... they stay.  I just need to do better at remembering that there are so many things that cause the stupid fluctuations, and that regardless of what it says on a given day, I'm doing what I need to do, and I WILL succeed.

 

If you look at my challenge spreadsheet, you'll see that I did 100% on all goals last week!  I'm pretty pleased with that.   I'm not sure I'll be able to say that about this next week with the holidays and traveling and such, but we shall see.

[MichiruSedai]

Also, because I am trying to show myself how far I have come, I present to you two pictures, taken about 13 months apart (10/27/15 and 11/19/16 respectively).

Picture one, I'm wearing that shirt in size 2XL.  Picture two, same shirt, a new copy in size M, that I wore to the Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses - Master Quest concert last night.

If someone good at photo editing is willing to put them in a side by side (and maybe cut out my friends/my messy house respectively) that would be super awesome!

 

[deftona]

Wow, you look so different and you kinda glow now! Well done, you've come really really far and I'm super proud of you!