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RedStone Leaves a Trail


RedStone

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Updating from a sorely needed epsom soak... too tired to full log because DL testing today... and I took a 15# PR from this summer!

240# baby!!! :D

Still riding those noob gains and I will TAKE IT!

(Also will eat the steak. And probably some pop tarts later.)

Sent from Frogstar World B

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Hot damn I'm hurting :P Been an interesting week, getting all the numbers and projections together. We ran doubles across the boards, though I had to take singles on deadlifts last cause cause I almost fainted again after my first pull. D'oh! But I didn't see black or stars even, not like over the summer, and the second pull was absolutely fine in terms of that. (I didn't lock out for as long as I usually do tho... as you can see below.)

 

T&F

2X Activation Warmup

10X Good mornings Yellow Band

10X 1/2 Split RDL 15# DB ea si

10X Single Leg Glute Bridge

 

Sumo Deadlifts

5X 135#

3X165#

2X 185#

2X 205# Rep PR

2X 225# Rep PR (Bad plate math, I thought these were 215# and not my prior max and was like, oh yeah, easy, I've got lots more...)

2X1 240# PR

 

Racked Squats

2X10 12Kg KBs

 

Good Mornings

2X10 65#BB

 

So it looks like maxes from doubles week are: 

185# Squat

110# Bench

240# Deadlift

 

I think there's more on squat and Dead, not so confident about bench, but who knows, maybe that week of rest will do me wonders LOL

 

 

I admit I'm doing the mood swing thing everyday - I'll change my weight class, nah I don't have to, I will, I won't :P I gave myself until next Friday, and have enlisted a trusted crew of friends to yell at me until I do it. I have my approved belt coming next week, but still have to order a singlet. I think I'm going to go with the more expensive SBD, because deep down I have roots in fashion, and I know I'll be more comfortable and empowered in something that I don't feel like a total tool wearing. (Also, how many singlets will I ever own? I mean come on.) Yes, it's true, I'm actually planning my competition outfit :P 

___

 

So... I'm not sure how I feel about doing a year recap. Seems emotional. Also, I haven't been lifting for a whole year yet... but really, I dunno. Also seems like the right thing to do. Plus I've been trying to be more vocal about the things - silence and putting on a false front is such a big part of it, being honest and open is a big key for me in terms of over coming the lack of self acceptance. I am also not going to spoiler this... cause it's all coming out :P 

 

So. This time last year I was in transition between highly restrictive eating and a full on bulimic relapse. (Don't you just love the holidays?) I was weaker than I had been in years, and in pain with a scapular strain that I had yet to seek treatment for, but eventually did towards the end of January. By then I was down another 10#, coming closer to my goal weight (95# maybe? that number doesn't even make sense to me anymore, tho I still flirt with the idea of 100#...) I was bored and wanted to get physical. A year of being away from the city, all driving, no walking, no Kung Fu brothers or students to push around... I needed something.

 

I had been doing HIIT circuits before the scapular strain, and got back into it. While looking for variations, I came across the NF beginners BW workout. Then I came across the article on lifting. Then I found the forums. Then @SpecialSundae found me on the intro threads. Then I started lifting and everything started to change.

 

Biggest change was that I was SUPER TIRED ALL THE TIME. Like Crazy. I would get out of the gym and couldn't think straight, try to run an errand and end up wandering around a grocery store for 2 hours in a total fog. Why? Apparently I was eating <1000 cals a day, while doing strong lifts AFTER HIIT circuits, 3X a week. Most of you guys know the story from here on in. I faced my fear of tracking, had a reality check about how much I was eating, and slowly started to repair it.  

 

I experimented with self programming, but didn't really understand the best way to pair accessories, or really know the mechanics of that kind of training. I started doing a body building program (honestly, it's a good program for a beginner body builder, it is.) and I learned a lot, but I didn't eat enough to support it, and also... I'm just not that interested in body building. (Okay, I kind of like boulder shoulders...) During that time I was still transitioning. I had a foot in negative behavior, and foot in positive. I wanted the positive, I was reaching for it, I ordered my ACE materials and decided I wanted to help other people find the good that I had found...

 

One of the biggest highs of the year was facing my performance anxiety and trying out for a play. All I had to do was go to the audition... but I got a call back! Then I was offered a part! And the whole time... I just wasn't scared like I used to be. I was excited! The production ran throughout September, one of the reasons I couldn't go to camp. I had been doing this BB program for 3-4 months, not eating enough, and now I was spending 5 nights a week at the theater on top of it, pouring whatever was left of my energy into performing. Big surprise that I had total program failure a week after it ended. (I think the adrenaline probably kept me going up until then... it was such a rush to perform and I absolutely want to do it again! Next time I'll be more prepared for the amount of time that goes into it tho...)

 

Cue loss of license, and the final nail in the emotional coffin of loosing someone very important to me. A raw couple of weeks followed, the panic attacks did a number on me, and it took awhile for my vitals to normalize. Cue Lou. Cue job at the fiber arts studio. Cue spending a minimum of 1 hour a day walking the hills of my small mountain town. Cue a small trickle of honesty starting to dribble out of my repressed mouth. (Ew, that sounds weird). So then I found myself having the most public relapse I've ever had. Bits of the truth were mixed in with everything is OKAY! I reached out to so many people, swung back and forth every week between actually being great and being a huge mess. It's almost as if I wanted help or something...

 

The things that have kept me together, kept me going to the right places have been:

 

The support. The community here. Having people to listen and not judge, support and and make me feel cared for. Giving me an opportunity to give back in the same way, to feel useful and worthwhile because I can be there for someone too. The friends I have made, the friends I have yet to meet... but WILL. SOON. ESPECIALLY CAUSE LICENSE. I love you awesome nerds.

 

The lifting! I love lifting more than I love the sadness. (Which is romantic and addictive, ya'll know what I mean). I prefer to feel strong and capable. I prefer to feel my body in motion. I prefer to feel muscle than bones. 

 

The possibilities. I LOVE LIFTING. I love getting stronger. But I also love to see my body work in different ways. I feel like now, with just a little bit of strength, there is so much more I can explore, continue to build, play! So many things I want to try, that I never thought I could do, or that those years are behind me. LETS FUCKING ROCK THIS!!!!

 

And to prove to myself that I'm not a total wimp. Here are the dreaded progress shots, no spoiler, no photoshop. 

 

Before lifting/this morning:

 

oTEUiqNl.jpg

 

A year in review, if you didn't believe in recomposition, I mean. Come on :P 

 

kOKeeV6.jpg

 

(Holy crap guys... I can't believe this hapenned in a year! LOL And yes, I'm glad I took the damn progress shots. Ya'll made me and here I am, happy about it :P <3)

 

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badass job on the DL PR!!

 

Also what an amazing story! I'm glad we could be here to help you through everything. That body comp progress is so cool and you should be damn proud of all the hard work you put in this year. I loved how you said you like being strong more than being sad. I know how that feels and its a damn good feeling when you realize how much better things are becoming mentally and physically.

 

Keep up the momentum and I look forward to seeing you continue to be the badass you are :)

 

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6 minutes ago, Volki said:

badass job on the DL PR!!

 

Also what an amazing story! I'm glad we could be here to help you through everything. That body comp progress is so cool and you should be damn proud of all the hard work you put in this year. I loved how you said you like being strong more than being sad. I know how that feels and its a damn good feeling when you realize how much better things are becoming mentally and physically.

 

<3 <3 <3

 

6 minutes ago, Volki said:

Keep up the momentum and I look forward to seeing you continue to be the badass you are :)

 

 

Same! It's always a pleasure to be surrounded by bad ass folks like you to keep the inspiration and motivation flowing!!! HIGH FIVE!!! BIG AND BAD IN 2017!!!

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Too much to possibly quote, it's all worthy of a "hell yeah"--more than them all us the freedom to post sans spoiler, this is your thread, damnit, and none of it is shameful because it brought you here and to 240lb deadlifts. HELL. YEAH. Keep killing it in 2017, girl.

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Level 13 Shape-shifting Warrior Monk

STR:45 | DEX:18 | STA:10 | CON:37 | WIS:37 | CHA:27

The stronger the body the more it obeys, the weaker the body the more it commands. -- Siegmund Klein

Battle Log : MFP : Instagram : Challenges - 1, 23456789101112

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LOVEEEEEE THIS AND LOVE YOUUUU. THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND BEING OPEN AND VULNERABLE WITH US. <3

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Raptron, alot assassin

67666564636261605958 575655545352515049484746454443424140393837363534333231302928272625242322212019181716151413121110987 | 6 | 5 | 4 | 3 | 2 | 1

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wow, what an amazing story! thank you for being fearless and telling us about it. i know it resonates with so many on here (including myself!) it helps me as someone who has trouble putting these types of things into words. you have accomplished a crazy amount in a small timeframe and i can't wait to see where you go next!! besides the spartan in june :P <3

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Instagram | pinterest

read harder challengeBattle LogNROLFW

Challenges: 13-1 | 13-2 | 13-3 | 13-3.5 | 14-1 | 14-2 | 15-1 | 15-2 | 15-3 | 15-4 | 15-5 | 16-1 | 16-2 | 16-3 | 16-4 | 16-516-6 | 16-7 | 16-8 | 17-1 | 17-2 | 17-3 | 17-4 | 17-5 | 17-6 | 17-7 | 17-8 | 17-9 | 17-10 | 18-118-2 | 18-318-4 | 18-5 | 18-6 | 18-7 | 18-8 | 18-9 | 18-10 | 19-1 | 19-2 | 19-3 | 19-4 | 19-5 | 19-6 | 19-7 | current

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On 12/31/2016 at 3:22 PM, raptron said:

LOVEEEEEE THIS AND LOVE YOUUUU. THANK YOU FOR SHARING AND BEING OPEN AND VULNERABLE WITH US. <3

 

21 hours ago, Emerald_Dragonfly said:

So.  Effing.  Proud.  Of.  You!

 

19 hours ago, SevenofSeven said:

I love you, you are awesome and my inspiration!

 

14 hours ago, Dagger said:

Very inspiring! <3

 

6 hours ago, JustCallMeAmber said:

Hot dang! So much awesomeness! :D

 

2 hours ago, CourtnieMarie said:

wow, what an amazing story! thank you for being fearless and telling us about it. i know it resonates with so many on here (including myself!) it helps me as someone who has trouble putting these types of things into words. you have accomplished a crazy amount in a small timeframe and i can't wait to see where you go next!! besides the spartan in june :P <3

 

2 hours ago, elvenengineer said:

You have a way with words, so happy for you and proud of you!!!! Can't wait to lift with you again!

I should really adult and buy my singlet already too... :)

Sent from my LG-H810 using Tapatalk

 

Guys, I don't even know what to say. *OVERWHELMED* But this is why it's so amazing, and for me, keeps me going past the slip ups, the forgiveness. GAH I'M SO HAPPY I FOUND YOU ALLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

R6fQ0BQ.gif

 

oK2gTdA.gif

 

iH9tULN.gif

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